#we have shed blood sweat and tears and this is the treatment i get??? ok just wait and see

[chaewberry]

dan heng being nonchalant asf about his spear breaking AND refusing our goodbye hug like oh ok! i'm gonna put itching powder underneath your scales next time your transform HAG!!!

[dreamwritersworld]

On the run…

just a disclaimer that this has been the longest since I’ve posted and this isn’t a for sure series! I’ve been super busy lately and I took a break because writing felt more like a need then something I wanted to do, i’m kinda back now and I hope you enjoy it 💕

Neteyam and I grew up together, we were very close. I grew to love him and I believe he felt that way too…until we were told that we would be promised to each other…Neteyam didn’t liked the fact that he felt tied down without having a choice. He was perfect at everything but being a good promised mate to Y/n.

Y/n however was very good. She comforted Neteyam when he was stressed about his father and she’d give him calming oils and treatment to relax him..

There were nights where Neteyam was absent, one night Y/n decided to hug Neteyam even with him pushing her off…

“I can smell her. Her scent. Irya.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Stop it! I caught you. And you’re not going to talk your way out of this. How many Neteyam? How many are there? How many have there been?”

“What does it matter? Hmm? We still are promised to each other and have no choice but to be mated. But irya is willing to take in that void until then. And maybe…maybe that’s better for everybody.”

Y/n scoffed at his attitude towards the situation…the man she loved, the boy she grew up with, had become so heartless to her.

“You know what, it’s better for you! You have a pretty good deal don’t you? You go out! You fool around! I sit here, I take care of your home and the clan. Well no more! That’s it.”

“Calm down!”

“No! I’m not going to do this anymore! Ok? I’m not going to sit here and take it and take it! Sorry! I love you, yes! But I am not dirt! I am promised to you! And you will not do this to me anymore-“

“Enough! I’ll stop! It’s fine. But you will not raise your voice at me. We will not do anything until we are to be mated.”

Y/n watched as Neteyam turned his back to go lay on the hammock with a blanket that Y/n made and cleaned just for him. If this was how things were going to be…it pained her completely but he came home didn’t he? He came home to her..?

She slept that night right beside him…cold and crying. He didn’t ever hold her while she slept..not like how they did when they were younger.

Truth was Neteyam didn’t sleep with Irya, no he could never. He just laid with her…he knew her scent was enough to break Y/n’s heart further…

~~

I stayed strong…I dealt with the pain and still claimed him proudly and openly…waiting on the day he called out my name.

I said I didn’t feel nothing but I lied, I almost cut a piece of myself for his love.

The passing Navi’s would smile at me and ask how Neteyam was…I would responded proudly.

“Ah yes Neteyam! He is doing well! Very good!”

Oh how I wished I didn’t get this treatment…I wish I could’ve been able to choose. In all honesty I would’ve still chosen Neteyam but it’d be on my terms..can’t say the same for him.

My days had an endless routine, I felt so trapped. I wanted Neteyam to stay even though he didn’t want me. Why can’t he wait till I fall out of love?

After everything going on…the war…the panic. It was decided that we’d have to give up our home and roles of the clan…everything. That meant every last tear, blood shed and sweat that Neteyam and I sacrificed to be the next leaders were wasted. Just because I was leaving didn’t mean I wasn’t no longer promised to Neteyam, he had all of me.

The move was so difficult and I didn’t know how else to comfort someone who didn’t want to be loved by me…but when he let me hold him, it gave me hope.

“We’ll be ok Ma’tyem”

The journey was long and tiring…it dragged and made our bodies sore…weak. Riding beside Neteyam made it worth it, all I could do was focus on him and how beautiful he truly was. Taking in his presence was my best bet at loving him from afar. Something about finding a new home and having a new adventure felt good despite leaving my entire life behind..

When we had arrived, nervousness ran through my veins…I allowed myself to be the last of the group to get off, watched how Neteyam protected his siblings and remained respectful just like his father.

I walked in cautiously repeating Neteyam’s same action and passing small smiles to those I had made eye contact with and then suddenly I made eye contact with someone who caught my attention …it was a boy who seemed about our age, instead of giving disgusted looks like he was before he froze. Soon enough the soften look in his eyes brought me into confusion, and I turned away. A warm unfamiliar arm wrapped around my waist, tuggin me forward and I couldn’t help but be more focused as to what was wrong.

Neteyam never held me, not anymore…not like when we were children. He pushed me to listen to the leader of the clan..that’s when I discovered the beautiful girl who Lo’ak shared a moment with was Tsireya and the boy I briefly noticed was Ao’nung..both children of the clans leaders. My ears went up and tail swayed at the new introduction, new people? New setting? Absolutely brought me bliss.

Unpacking was draining and having to now share a mauri with a full family was something I’d have to get used to, I didn’t mind though. I grew up with the Sully’s and remained very tight with all siblings…Neteyam included until our parents suggested we’d be mated. Of course I loved that idea…but Neteyam felt forced, it made him hate me.

It was another night of falling asleep beside Neteyam except this time he turned his body towards me and loosely had his arm around me. It was then that I realized I missed his touch so much and I’d settle with this even if it only meant he was doing it to prevent his family from questioning the separation.

I had butterflies take over me, placing my hand on top of his…only for him to pull his hand away and lay it on my hip, furthering any more affection..

Soon the sun rises and I woke up early to help prep meals for everyone with Neytiri, to her I was perfect. In my eyes I was far from it, not even able to satisfy her child.

I made my way sitting quietly next to Neteyam, my mind was still focused of last night’s interactions and our relationship…soon enough the loudness and spinning in my head only begged me to just take a moment for myself, I paused my eating and excused myself…but walking away I can hear my childhood best friends speak.

“What’s wrong with her?..she’s been quiet.”

“She’s always quiet Lo’ak-“

Kiri was one of the only people who noticed the great shift in Y/n. They grew up together, Y/n was open to Kiri about her crush on Neteyam and she never told any one although she enjoyed the idea of them together, it made her so happy when they were promised…but now after a couple of months with them together, Kiri could see something was weighing Y/n down.

“Not always! She only starts to get quiet when Neteyam’s around! You make her nervous bro! Y/n’s been in love with you since we were kids and now you guys are going to be all lovey, dovey once your Mated!!!”

Neteyam couldn’t even reply, it wasn’t that he didn’t love you…or maybe he didn’t? He himself, couldn’t understand his feelings towards you. Neteyam just wanted time to choose his mate and who he loved.

He was truly living his fathers dream, sacrificing his life to repay and honor his parents sacrifice. Would he had chosen Y/n, his once childhood crush as his mate? Would he have done it if he wasn’t forced? He didn’t know.

Y/n took in Lo’ak’s word..she did only get quiet around Neteyam, she knew how quickly and easily it was to annoy him.

*flashback*

It was the beginning of their relationship and he couldn’t be anymore closed off with her. All Y/n wanted to do was love him and be a perfect mate to him. So when he walked through the door…that’s exactly what she did.

“Neteyam, I’ve made you dinner! Your favorite!”

“Not hungry.”

His response was short but however, what made the two perfect was that no matter how calm and collected she was…she remain optimistic.

“Ok! That’s fine! I’ll prep it for you in the morning, when you’re ready to go back to training-“

“Y/n! How many times do I have to say it? I’m not hungry! I do not want your food! Just be quiet!…voice is annoying…relationship is business only..”

Y/n perfectly heard his last muttered words and it brought her to tears as she wrapped his food up, she had stayed up late waiting to eat with him once he arrived home…but now he laid in bed. Y/n blew the candles providing light and closed the tent enough just for a little moonlight to shed as she provided him a calm setting to fall asleep in while she struggle to eat in the dark.

Neteyam could see though, he saw her tears roll down her face and her hand quiver as her eyebrows furrowed and head shake as if telling her that it’ll all be ok. It took everything in him to not apologize for being so cold, but he couldn’t..not now when he was so frustrated.

*

Y/n lost her optimistic side…instead of being calm, she slowly was just pulling herself into a fiery state. After so much coldness could you blame her? She didn’t have any time for playing around or a moment for herself..but now with this new home, she did.

There it was Y/n sat outside taking in the sunrise and fresh breeze, she was just starting to relax when Kiri interrupted

“So…I’ve been meaning to ask but nothing feels like the right time but…are you ok? Like I mean really ok? I can feel your energy Y/n.”

It took Y/n by surprise and it only took Kiri to see her face for her to know whatever she was going to say next was a lie. That’s exactly how it all played out, Y/n had her mouth slightly open in shock and then she smiled, not a true one thought just a small one with closed lips.

“Of course Kiri!…it’s just the move.”

Silence stood between them, Kiri could see the little white lies Y/n told herself and it hurt her. Y/n was never one to be standoffish or guarded.

“Right..well soon enough we’ll start training to get used to this environment-“

“Hello! We’re here to start training”

Both girls looked at Tsireya in surprise and soon settled into a smile, excited to finally have a taste of something new. Y/n stood proud and tall before tsireya, she admired it truly. To tsireya if she would’ve stayed at the forest she would’ve been a perfect leader for the people…what could’ve been.

“I’ll go ahead and get the others! Excuse me.”

Ao’nung watched from a far…Y/n was captivating to him. Her voice and the way she walked presented herself with confidence.

His smile stayed until he saw her stand beside Neteyam, they walked together as one but in silence.

They all trailed after each other one by one. Ao’nung tried to slow down so that his speed would align with Y/n’s but it just didn’t happen.

Tsireya decided to start by swimming first and excitement erupted amongst Kiri and Y/n as they grabbed each others hands swimming down around the corals of the reef.

Ao’nung pushed the rest of the group forward and he allowed his sister to take over as he glanced over to Y/n doing flips around the ocean and viewing the fishes in amazement. Y/n put herself in tune with the ocean..if she was going to live here she had to act as one of the people.

Neteyam couldn’t help but notice Y/n staggering behind the group and he rolled his eyes at her childish behavior… when he went up to the surface with everyone else gasping for air, he looked back beneath the water..he saw Ao’nung swim over to Y/n, watch them exchange smiles while swimming up beside each other.

“You’re pretty good for a beginner! I can show you how to-“

“Y/n!-“

neteyam was going to interrupt but he was quickly interrupted by his own little sister, gasping onto Y/n’s arms and his arms.

Y/n quickly passed a smile at Ao’nung as she now turned her attention to Tuk cradling her while Neteyam fixed Y/n’s hair from getting caught onto Tuk.

The sudden touch caught Y/n by surprise, she was quick to turn her head in confusion until Tysireya’s voice brought them back to focus

“It’s fine if your not the best right now…we should try getting you guys on ilu’s! I’m sure you’ll love it!”

Another tug to another direction, telling Y/n to swim with him. There was not a chance Neteyam was going to leave Y/n with Ao’nung when it was clear to him, he was trying to get close to her.

this interaction between the two didn’t fly past Y/n she didn’t understand what Neteyam was trying to do. Once practice ended she allowed the group to go past and speak amongst each other while she began tugging back at Neteyam’s arm to walk with her. They said their goodbyes respectfully and Y/n held onto Neteyam the entire time.

“What are you doing? You have a role to withhold still Neteyam. Be respectful. You must remember that this isn’t our home.”

“Me? What am I doing wrong? You must’ve forgot that you have to withhold your role with me. You are my future mate do not forget.”

“I haven’t done anything that can make you imply that I have, are you kidding?”

“So why are you getting friendly with-“

“This is not our land. Our relationship has been in shambles because of you-“

“How dare you blame me? What? Because i went out to get my needs done so I can keep pushing to Be with you. I did it for us.

Tears welled up in Y/n’s eyes as she realized he was now the one blaming her for their relationship.

“I’d rather go blind then to see you walk away from me, with another women. I never asked you to do that.”

“But it needed to be done Y/n, you can’t maintain me.”

“This isn’t my fault Neteyam please stop. I’m not doing anything wrong. I haven’t gotten overly friendly with anyone. Just stop.”

“Don’t talk to Ao’nung Y/n, I’m not asking you.”

“I don’t need you telling me it either. I have to remain mutual and respectful to everyone, even if it means speaking to them.”

“You will be disrespecting me-“

“Please, this is barley scratching the surface of what you’ve done to me. This relationship is business only. Isn’t that what you said? So then stick to your words. It stopped meaning anything to me the moment you started acting this way.”

She was lying, but she wanted to shoot a bullet at him just like he did to her. When she looked back at Neteyam she didn’t notice the pain flushing his eyes or that fact that his heart was beating rapidly, he truly hurt hearing her stand up to him. It hurt him to see that he can’t seem to keep her close and let her go. He knew though, he still had her…even if it meant she was speaking back.

Later on in the night when it was time to eat, Y/n made sure to start a conversation with Tuk to make sure she was settling in well. Tuk pulled her arm to sit with her and Y/n did. Kiri quickly sat next to Y/n sensing something was wrong with her. This left Neteyam to sit in front of her, though Y/n didn’t even bat an eye at him.

“Did you see all the fishes down there Y/n?!”

“Oh I did Tuk! They were beautiful!!”

Jake had interrupted their conversation discussing the clan and asking how the children were treating them.

“Ao’nung sucks and Tsireya is really nice.”

Lo’ak was clearly biased to Tsireya based on the way he was smiling so his opinion flew out the window in Jake’s eyes.

Everyone began speaking quickly and clashed their words together as Y/n watched trying to follow everyone’s words.

“Mmh I barley heard a thing anyone said…what about you Y/n how were they?”

Jake knew Y/n had a thing with words, she was descriptive and knew how to speak properly. She observed everything there was to a person.

“Tsireya was sweet, attentive while teaching and patient. Ao’nung was witty, quick to say something and less patient. Overall they are good people-“

“Please Y/n Ao’nung was the worst, maybe not to you!”

Lo’ak had spoken in a teasing voice, implying something he shouldn’t. Jake had shut down his youngest teasing seeing it as a learning lesson

“It’s about being respectful. The face that you had while learning their ways probably didn’t help Ao’nungs remarks. Your face tells everything, Y/n knew how to behave.”

Neteyam grew silent only looking at Y/n and his food, quietly pushing for her to say more.

“Yes correct, this isn’t our home yet..but we must learn their ways with a positive attitude.”

The tension felt visible to the couple sitting across from each other and it continued when Y/n looked up at Neteyam after saying the statement.

She got up attempting to remain calm, picking up her meal and placing it to the side. After cleaning up and paying her respects she resided off to the side not facing Neteyam if he were to sleep on her hammock…

There it is that dip of him crawling back to my bed, enraging me over and over again without a care in the world that he hurt me.

*💕*

remember that this isn’t a for sure series, it’s definitely not perfect either I’m just trying to get into the groove of things again :))

[hale-13]

Submersion

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 3 - Drowning

Peter never thought he would see the day where he wouldn’t enjoy fighting side by side with Iron Man but here he is.

Words: 1759, Chapters 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark

TW: Drowning

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

“Duck,” Tony called as he sailed over Peter’s head to knock over bot that was sneaking up behind him. Peter rolled his eyes but dropped anyway to stay clear the the incoming repulsers blast; he had both heard the sound of the heavy metal steps and felt his Spidey sense tingle to warn him of the upcoming threat and was already prepared to web it to the wall to be dealt with later but now he was just lying on the ground like an idiot while Tony took out the drone. His mentor had been super overbearing for the entirety of the past couple hours that they had been dismantling the reinforced bots and it was really starting to grate on Peter’s already thinned out nerves.

“I had that!” He hollered up toward the floating Iron Man armor, paying no heed to the comm in his mask that would perfectly translate his words without the extra effort and strain on his vocal cords. Peter didn’t care though, it felt good to yell and blow off a little steam. He violently punched through the chest plate of the bot he was fending off and then shook out his hand once it was shot off the side of the Brooklyn Bridge – he had definitely busted a knuckle that time.

Tony zipped away to head off a few more of the flying ones above them and said a quick, “You sure did kiddo,” which made Peter bristle up even more. He knew that Tony meant well and was just trying to help but he still over interpreted the words to sound condescending and demeaning – like he was here for no other reason than entertainment. Shaking his head to clear it, Peter hopped back into the fight. Now was not the time to get distracted and over-analyze anything.

“Shit!” He heard Tony shout both over the comms and through the air as he took a hit from the surplus of Hammer Tech as he was knocked to the far end of the bridge.

“Tony!” Peter called, his irritation of before quickly overshadowed by concern. He hastily fired a web to swing towards his mentor but ground to a halt when Tony coughed out an “I’m fine!” as the brilliant red and gold armor crested the edge of the bridge in the distance to smash into the drone above him. “I can’t leave you over there with all of them alone!” Peter protested.

“Just catch the outliers,” Tony said, breathing slightly ragged in exertion. “Some of them are bound to get past me.”

Peter felt his eye twitch in renewed vexation as he relaxed his grip on the webbing enough to let it go. Tony knew that he was the target of this latest attack by Justin Hammer and was, clearly, doing his level best to keep Peter as far away from the action as humanly possible. Twitching from his overload of adrenaline, Peter bounced on his toes and webbed up a partially destroyed drone that landed a few feet away.

“How many we got left K?” Peter asked, eyes following the fight with the assistance of his suits AI.

“I’m unable to tell Peter,” Karen’s bright, chirpy voice replied through his private comm. “They are cloaked from my sensors. I can ping FRIDAY if you’d like?”

“No,” Peter said, petulant, as he replaced his web cartridges. “Don’t bother.”

“Sure thing!”

Peter sighed again and leaned back against the smoking car behind him. He hated being useless and he hated twiddling his thumbs when he could be helpful; and he was pissed because he knew that Tony knew this about him. His Spidey sense tingled up his spine but Peter brushed it off after a quick survey of the area – it still occasionally did that for no reason if he was amped up.

“Finishing up here, kid. You all set?” Mr. Stark asked as he soared overhead with three of the drones following closely on his tail. Peter felt his eye twitch a little but responded in the affirmative, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice – there would be plenty of time to hash things out with Tony after they were back in the Tower. As the flight stabilizers of the Iron Man armor faded off Peter felt his Spidey sense twitch again just a second too late.

Clearly, both of them had missed one of the Hammer drones somewhere as Peter fell to the ground, the metal arms wrapped tight around his waist and arms and locked into place. He struggled as he was dragged back to the edge of the bridge but couldn’t seem to break the grip. His logical brain was working through equations and understood that, with the lack of space to move, he would be unable to escape.

All these thoughts came too slowly, though, because it only took a few seconds before he was pulled over the edge of the bridge and into a free fall, smacking into the cold water of the Hudson moments later. Unprepared, Peter’s lungs let out a burst of the limited amount of oxygen he had been able to take in as water rushed down his throat and his struggles renewed. He opened his eyes and felt them sting from the dirty water, the sunlight barely visible the lower they sank. His HUD was lit red and he could hear Karen’s muffled voice in his ear as his body convulsed and his vision darkened.

His last thoughts as he passed out were of May and Tony and the overbearing pain in his chest.

——————————————————————————

“Please tell me that was the last one FRI,” Tony begged from high above the smoking Brooklyn Bridge. He was sweating through the three-piece suit he hadn’t managed to completely shed before stepping into the armor and he was dying for a shower and a large mushroom and olive pizza from Mario’s.

“Area secure,” FRIDAY replied. “Karen has sent an SOS from the Spider suit – I’m sending the directions to your HUD.”

“Shit,” Tony cursed as he immediately blasted toward the opposite side of the bridge and the blinking beacon FRI was projecting for him. “Vitals?”

“Unable to read Boss,” the AI said. “The suit GPS is reading one-hundred and twenty-seven feet below the water directly under you.” Blood going cold at the implication, Tony increased his speed and broke the surface at high speed, eyes darting through the water to find the bright red of Peter’s suit.

Peter’s body was completely limp in the grip of one of the larger drones and Tony didn’t bother to unhook the two as he grabbed Peter and swiftly pulled him close before surging out of the water and back to land on the uninhabited bridge above him. FRIDAY helpfully removed his helmet as Tony activated his laser to release Peter from the drones grip, yanking the stretchy mask over the teenagers head. His lips were blue and his face pale under the bright mask and Tony crammed his unloved fingers to Peter’s carotid artery, heart sinking when it was still beneath Peter’s chilled skin.

“Fuck,” Tony cursed, positioning his hands over Peter’s unmoving chest and beginning his first round of compressions. “Fuck fuck fuck,” he continued, counting to thirty in his head before tilting Peter’s head back to clear his airway and administering two rescue breaths. Peter’s chest still didn’t move after and he felt no breathing so Tony took up another round of compressions. “Come on Pete,” he begged, tears beading at the corners of his eyes but he refused to let them fall and cloud his vision. “Not today. Not like this!” He gave two more breaths and had to lean back quickly when water gushed from Peter’s mouth. “There you go buddy,” Tony said, rolling Peter onto his side in the recovery position and patting his back firmly to help release the water from his lungs. “Get it all up now.”

“Tony,” Peter choked out, his voice sounding rough and warbling around his coughs. His lips were still a pale blue but were rapidly pinking as his lungs cleared of water and were able to absorb oxygen.

“Don’t talk,” Tony said, lifting Peter’s trembling body up to rest against his chest. “Just breath for now, ok?” Peter nodded as more water dribbled down his chin and he gagged, vomiting a mixture of bile and vile river sludge. Tony crinkled his nose in disgust but wiped the kid’s chin down anyways with the corner of his suit jacket. They sat for a few more minutes in silence as Peter continued to cough and retch before going silent except for the ragged gasps he was drawing in. “I’m going to take you to see Cho now alright? Just let me do all the work.”

Not waiting for Peter’s permission, Tony fully suited back up and cautiously maneuvered Peter into his arms where he laid limply with his head lolled against Tony’s chest. Tony felt his heart clench before taking off, pointing his thrusters in the direction of the compound.

“If I have to tell you to keep that mask on one more time,” Tony threatened, “I’m going to glue it to your face.”

Peter huffed, but obediently rested the oxygen mask back against the lower part of his face, his steady breaths fogging up the clear plastic and doing nothing to hide the look of exhausted indignation on his protégés face. “I feel fine,” Peter protested but Tony didn’t believe him. The kid’s voice was still raw and hoarse and he looked like he had gone a few rounds with the Hulk. Most telling, though, was the fact that Peter hadn’t yet tried to engage in an elaborate escape attempt from the MedBay.

“I’m sorry, when did you get you medical degree?” Tony retorted with an eye roll. “Dr. Cho is keeping you overnight on oxygen until your saturations are normal and starting you on a heavy duty antibiotic and breathing treatments. Do you want pneumonia?”

“No,” Peter answered, petulant but wiggling around until he was more comfortable in the bed and resting against the pillows propped up behind him.

“Then you’ll do as she says.” Tony said firmly, reaching out to run one hand through Peter’s gritty curls and down to squeeze the back of his neck. “Just give it one night okay? One night before you’re back out there figuring out new and improved ways to make me prematurely grey.”

Peter smiled and let out a chuckle before letting his eyes slip closed. “One night,” he agreed.

[glorifiedgpjfic]

Glorified G - Chapter 45

New Years Day 1992

Joanne stood staring down the man in front of her, she had pleaded with him not to do this, but he’d gone past the point of return. As she stood attempting to talk him down she noticed how his hand shook as it held the sharp blade, the next few moments happened in slow motion for Joanne. The blade swiped at his neck and the blood began spewing, Joanne leapt forward her hands reaching to apply pressure to the wound, as she moved towards him he seemed to move further away, 

“NO!” 

Eddie woke up to Joanne yelling, which happened to wake her up from her nightmare too- despite drinking copious amounts of alcohol before going to bed the images of what she had witnessed hours earlier still seemed to play in her mind on a loop, she had done what Dr Isles had suggested and tried to go to a happy place before but nothing seemed to work, the images she had seen that night were seared into her brain. A few beads of sweat were gathered on Jo’s forehead, she swiftly freed herself from Eddie’s embrace and rushed to the bathroom where she attempted to gather her thoughts. After what felt like hours Jo heard a timid knock at the door,

“Jo? Babe, are you okay?” Eddie’s voice was laced with concern and Jo wanted to smile at the man she loved, but she couldn’t muster the strength, she shuffled to the door and led Eddie back to the bedroom, “Do you want to talk about it?” Jo quickly shook her head, “okay, we don’t have to talk- is there anything I can do?” Jo shook her head again and let out a sigh, Eddie didn’t speak again instead he took her in his arms and began playing with her hair as she drifted off to sleep.

Joanne arrived at work early, she hadn’t fallen asleep as Eddie had thought she had, instead she’d pretended to sleep until Eddie had drifted off into a deep slumber, and then she’d snuck out of the bedroom and left for work. She made her way straight to the coffee machine when she arrived, filling the largest mug she could find with the bitter liquid. As she sat at her desk it dawned on her that she would have to write up her report on the events from the previous night, the thought made her queasy resulting in her sprinting to the toilets, much to her coworkers’ surprise. 

William Webster hadn’t slept that night, he hadn’t even gone home; he had no reason to go home, there was no one waiting for him. So he’d made a headstart on his paperwork before falling asleep on his desk. For one of the first times since she had started at working at the FBI Joanne was actually early to work, William knew why- she was processing a big trauma, most if not all of his agents had suffered something similar to Jo on the job - he’d lost some of his best agents to trauma, many quitting to go find a more normal job. He prayed to some sort of higher being that Jo would not be one of the agents he lost, there would be no replacing her. William watched as Joanne stood and rushed away from her desk, he briefly considered following her but decided best not to- he’d speak to her when she came back. 

As Joanne returned to her desk William called her to see him in his office, with a feeling of dread Jo made her way to him. 

“Agent Taylor, Joanne- what you went through last night was a trauma, and I just wanted to let you know that if you need to take some personal time you should do so.” What the director had not expected was for the young agent in front of him to scoff,

“Oh is that what you want to call it? A trauma? You know what sir, it was worse than a fucking truama! Finding your grandma dead that's a trauma! Being abandoned by your parents that's a trauma! Watching someone slit his fucking throat is more than a fucking truama, taking some personal time isn’t going to make it go away.” Joanne paused for a moment before muttering under her breath, “It should’ve been you.” William raised an eyebrow almost challenging her to repeat what she had just said, “It should’ve been you, I should’ve never been the one following him! It should’ve fucking been you!” Tears threatened to fall but Jo blinked them away before storming out of the office, she marched all the way to Dr Isles’ office. 

Joanne didn’t knock before entering the office. She didn’t care if there was someone else in there, it wasn’t like her. She always cared about everything, she always cared too much. Luckily for her Dr Isles wasn’t busy which meant Jo was able to vent like she desperately needed to, it was only when she calmed down that she realised how out of line she had been with her boss. 

Eddie was worried about Jo, he woke up and she had left, there wasn’t a note or anything- he’d assumed she’d gone to work. He sat in the kitchen armed with his notepad trying to find some sort of lyrics that the guys could use, but Jo was all he could think about so he decided to ditch the songwriting and start looking at houses. He felt guilty making a start on it without Jo, but he just wanted to get some ideas to make the whole process easier for Jo, a new house would take her mind off things. After a few hours he decided to give Chris a call, he wanted to chat to someone and out of all of his friends Chris was the one he was most likely to get a mature conversation out of, he just hoped Chris wouldn’t be too hungover.

Joanne was reduced to tears during her session with Dr Isles, she’d been forced to relive the night in great detail and Dr Isles had suggested that she was probably suffering with PTSD, or that the chances were she would need treatment to manage how she processed the trauma. Dr Isles had suggested that Joanne tried Cognitive Processing Therapy, a relatively new method for dealing with trauma that had come about in 1988 - it was supposed to help the patient to learn how to modify and challenge unhelpful beliefs related to the trauma, 

“Now in the time I’ve gotten to know you Jo I know you’re going to be apprehensive about this, but it’s been found to be really effective and I think it could help you. Would you be willing to give it a try? It’ll be twelve sessions, and after those we can have a meeting to discuss how you feel it’s gone and then we can re-evaluate where we’re at.” Dr Isles spoke in a way that always seemed to calm Jo, Joanne had lost her voice slightly from crying and ranting at the therapist, so she simply nodded in agreement, “Okay, we can schedule your first session for next week, shall we say same time as usual?” Jo nodded again and Dr Isles gave her a warm smile, 

“I uh- I should go and apologise to agent Webster.” Jo mumbled and her therapist gave a slight chuckle, 

“Don’t worry too much about it, I’m sure he’s had worse.” 

After apologising profusely for her behaviour to the director Jo finished up her paperwork with slightly less anxiety than she had before her session, the images were still vivid in her mind, but she felt assured knowing that she was going to get help. Once she managed to get her work finished she headed to William’s office to apologise one final time before leaving. She drove home in silence, mentally praying that Eddie wouldn’t mention any of it, she didn’t want to have to talk about it again- she just wanted to forget about it and move on. 

Eddie and Chris had spent a few hours wandering around Seattle before they’d gone back to Eddie and Jo’s apartment, Chris had managed to shed some of his infinite wisdom on Eddie’s dilemma which had helped the singer feel much calmer about things. They were sitting drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen when Eddie heard the sound of Jo’s car pulling into the driveway. She shuffled through door oblivious to Chris for a moment, 

“Cornell!!” She smiled when she finally noticed him, he was quick to give her a hug, “how hungover were you this morning on a scale of one to ten?” She quizzed and Chris pondered it for a moment before replying, 

“Probably like a twelve?” He groaned before downing the rest of his coffee, “well I should probably go and try to sleep off this hangover- I’ll catch you guys later!” He said pulling the couple into a brief hug before bounding out of the door, Jo sat down at the seat previously occupied by Chris before letting out a sigh, 

“I feel like I could sleep for a week.” She complained Eddie simply smiled moving to sit next to her, 

“Jo, I need to talk to you-” Jo could feel her anxiety spike as those words left him, “about you and your work, is that ok?” She nodded, afraid of where the conversation was going, “I was thinking- and well- I uh, I know how much you love your work- and I’d never ask you to um, change that- but, last night was so scary, not knowing if you were gonna come back and then when you came b-back covered in blood, it uh- well it scared me Jo, and I don’t like waking up everyday not k-knowing if you’ll come back.” Eddie’s voice was quiet and low, Jo could see he was nervous about her reaction, she didn’t speak for a few moments to allow herself to gather her thoughts. 

“I can see where you’re coming from, but being in the field is what I do- It’s the best part of the job, I-” Jo paused when she noticed that Eddie didn’t look happy with her response,

“Jo, please try and see where I’m coming from- how would you feel if you never knew if I’d be coming home, or if I came home from work covered in blood and broken?” Jo took his hand in hers, 

“I do, honestly I do- I just don’t know how to do anything else, this is all I’ve ever done. This is kinda who I am. I don’t know what else I could do, but if it’ll make you happy I’ll see if I can stay out of the field.” Eddie grinned at her, but it quickly faded,

“Promise me you won’t hate me though if you do come out of the field.” Jo let out a quiet chuckle,

“Eddie, I could never hate you.”