#we have no clue what he's up to now and how he's handling guardians using darkness

[adaptacy]

Johnny Slaughter x Drunk!Virgin!Reader

It is angsty, and kinda sad, and very dub-con (practically non-con), and also just- Johnny with feelings? if streams of consciousness don't make sense, that's the point. also i'm tired so sorry for spelling mistakes or if i just use the wrong word sometimes LMAO

"Alright, I've gotcha." You were leaning all of your weight into him as he sauntered down the sidewalk, and you didn't let up even as he inserted the key he'd just received into the door, twisting the handle and opening it up into a half-assed room, typical for the cheap motel you were staying up.

"You really... mmbooked 'em just for... me?" You slurred, your head lazily flopping onto his bicep as he led you inside, closing the door behind him.

"Didn't tell me you were such a lightweight," the man sighed, helping you over to the white queen-size bed, which you didn't put up any fight against, collapsing onto the comforter and giggling. At what? You didn't know.

"We should, mhmhm, kiss." You blinked, slowly, up at him, seeing triple. Triple hot. Triple hunk. Triple gentleman. He was being so sweet. He carried you here, gave you a ride, he promised your parents wouldn't figure out that their golden child was getting wasted at some rural bar miles away from home. He was so caring.

Sure, you'd only known him for like two hours, but those two hours said so much. He didn't say much. Well, he did. Flirted a lot. Was he flirting? Did you misunderstand? No, no, he got you a motel room. Just for you. He was definitely flirting. He was like a guardian angel, wasn't he?

You made a mistake, a lot of mistakes, actually. A lot of shots. A lot of alcohol. Glasses and glasses of mistakes. But he was here to make sure you wouldn't be making anymore. He was protecting you. God, what a sweetheart. "What's your name again?" You mumbled, your tongue twisting around itself to form some terrible labyrinth.

"Johnny," he reminded, bending down over you and catching your lips in a kiss. His was gentle, but forward. Yours was sloppy, messy, hungry, dazed. You were sloppy. And messy. Oh, your parents would never forgive you.

"Johnny, I'm so... ugh, you're lovely," you complimented, your nose bumping against his as he tried to kiss you again, but you just had to let him know first. "So loving. We should get married," you giggled.

"Baby steps, darlin'."

"I'm your darling?" You hummed, smiling sweetly. Innocently. What the hell were you doing? No wonder the bartender warned you. But he paid for your drinks. He was just so generous. How could he possibly be single? You were so lucky to have him. "I think I love you."

"You're crazy," he laughed, the sound sweet and appetizing and so manly. You laughed too, because you wanted to be like him. Wanted to take care of people like he was. Wanted to be big and strong like he was. Wanted to be so sweet, wanted to kiss like he did. He was perfect. He kissed you again, and you kept giggling, your skin crawling with... excitement? nausea? you couldn't really tell the difference. "You wanna go through with this?"

With what? "Mhm," you hummed, closing your eyes for just a moment. Then you opened them again, and he was still there. All three- two? Four? All of him- them? Ugh. "Yuh-huh," you affirmed. If he wanted to, you'd do it. No clue what 'it' was, but he was a good decision maker. You were clearly, definitely, obviously, drunkenly not.

"You done this before?"

"Yeah." Done what? You'd done a lot of things. You hadn't gone skydiving. Or bungee jumping. What a funny word. Bungee. Bun-gee. "Bunnn, geeee," you announced, and Johnny squinted at you. You giggled. What'd he say?

"I'm gonna take yer shirt off now." He kissed your cheek, and you nodded. Was he going to get you into a bath? Oh, he was such a sweetiepie. Like a grandmother. But hot. and muscular. and young. and had a way deeper voice. and, actually, he wasn't like a grandmother at all. but he still made you smile.

He removed your shirt, and you tried to lift your head to kiss him, but your head was so heavy, and your muscles were so weak. Ugh, you wished you had muscles like him. he could lift your head. you definitely couldn't.

The best part was, he did lift your head. and he did kiss you. He was a mind reader, too? Was he even real? Men like this didn't exist. Not really. men as sweet, and loving, and gentle, and-

His hands were on your pants. Strange. He knew what he was doing. You trusted him. What was his name again? "Joey," you thanked.

"Johnny," he corrected.

"Mister Johnny," you slurred, brushing noses with him. He kissed you again, and he tasted like the bar. He'd been drinking too. He was like your drunk-buddy. Drinking buddy. And designated driver. A perfect package. Why are engagement rings so expensive?

"You alright?" His voice spoke again, and you blinked, finding that there were now only two of him. That you could see. Your vision was dark at the sides, but who needed peripheral vision, anyways? He was tugging your bottoms down your legs, and you looked up at him.

Somewhere, distant, faint, barely even present in your mind- somewhere, something clicked. Some puzzle pieces snapped together. You could make out the shape of the puzzles, the caves and the peninsulas, but they were blank pieces. There was no puzzle. It was blurry. Fuzzy. Like a puppy. Or a kitten. Or a squirrel.

"What?" you mumbled.

"Eyes on me, sweetpea. You alright?"

It was hard to focus on him since you'd have to focus on two images at once, but you tried your best. It only brought a headache. "Why... wouldn't I be?"

"You're awful' drunk."

"I'm knows," you scoffed.

"Do ya?"

"Obvs," you reminded, reaching up a hand and pawing at his face as you tried to boop him, grinning up at him. His hair draped over his pair of faces, and you wanted to bite it. Wanted to pull it. ugh, you were such a bad person. who made bad decisions. you hated alcohol. why'd you even stumble into that bar? your parents would be so mad.

Her eyes were almost crossed, and Johnny found it dizzying to try and gain her attention. She swatted at his forehead as she replied, and he pulled back ever so slightly. Gently, he pulled her hand down, trying to be patient with her. She'd been tipsy when he got there, but this was something else.

He tried not to think about it- This wasn't his first drunken sexual encounter, and wouldn't be his last. His lips pressed to her chest, his fingers caressing the insides of her thighs. She was warm, inviting, almost intoxicating. Then again, it could've been the potent taste of alcohol on her tongue. Stronger than his own. He swore she didn't have that much to drink, and she knew what to order- It wasn't her first time drinking, or so he assumed.

He'd hardly understood a word she'd bumbled on the way home. A ramble about her parents and treehouses here, another about college and service animals there. He didn't bother trying to decipher her codes. He was sure she didn't even have a clue what she was saying, so it wasn't his responsibility to figure it out.

Her fingers played with his hair, awkwardly tugging and scraping at his scalp, but he didn't mind. She mumbled something out, but the more time he spent with her, the less precise her words got. At this point, they were unintelligible, but she seemed happy while saying them. Oddly enough, it brought a smile to his face.

He reached down, unbuckling his belt. She continued with her string of corrupted vowels as he did so, and he ended his trail of kisses on her stomach before standing up straight once more. Her body was so... pristine. Shiny? It had this certain glow to it- a glow that her eyes lacked. They were stuck half-lidded, even feigning unconsciousness a few times, but he'd been proven wrong each time when she'd open her mouth to quickly inform him of how much she loved sunflowers, or to tell him an impossible-to-follow story about her first pet. He'd listened- not understood, but listened, to her, and then she'd fall back into silence for a few more minutes.

And even so, when she was so clearly destroyed by the liquor she'd been drinking like water, she looked so peaceful. She lay on the bed below him, completely flat, completely relaxed. Her arms casually positioned above her, her palms facing him. He wanted to hold her hand. So he did, and it brought a small smile to her face.

He wasn't going to stick around after this. He never did. He never wanted to. But she- she was so intriguing. So strange. He wanted to learn more about her, wanted to understand her. Wanted to listen to her stupid rambles and her whispered confusion. He wanted to see her frustrated, wanted to see her cry, wanted to see her confident, wanted to see her.

Shit. Maybe he wasn't all that sober. His hips leaned forward, and her eyebrows slanted, barely enough for him to notice. But he caught on, and his brows mimicked her movement. He was close to entering her, sliding between her folds, but he wasn't inside. Not yet. She looked confused.

"We're makin' love?" She asked, and Johnny narrowed his eyes, cracking a smile. That was a first. It was always fucking, or having sex, or getting laid, or some other degenerate nickname. Making love? That was for married people. Old couples. People with kids. People with commitments. Didn't she understand?

"Yeah, darlin', we're gonna make love," he replied, leaning down and kissing her neck. "Is that alright?"

"Mhm," she answered, and Johnny released a breath. She wasn't going back to his place. But he wasn't going to hers, either. Too innocent to be a victim, too drunk to be a partner. This was just another in his long list of mistakes. Another night that he'd forget after a few more bottles, a few more weeks, a few more stolen cigarettes, a few more kills. He always forgot them. He'd had too many. Needed a break far too much.

And she was surely the same.

And yet, when he pushed in, there was a tension, and then it broke. Something- something physical, something inside of her broke. And she whimpered, like he'd cut her. Her voice was light as she asked "What?"

Johnny couldn't move. He couldn't act. He couldn't continue. He couldn't speak. He wished he couldn't think, but that was all he did. When he looked down, his worst fears were confirmed. Dripping onto the white comforter were two marks of scarlet, and Johnny squeezed her hand.

No. No, no, no, no. No way.

Johnny held his breath. Wanted to wake up. He never felt bad. he never felt sympathy. He never regret things from his heart, only from his head.

but there was a singe in his chest. A poking in his lungs. And, despite her consciousness being continents away, she realized. Or, at the very least, picked up on his guilt.

"Please don't be mad," she whimpered, her voice breaking. And she cried. She held it back, but tears weren't easily disguised. He shook his head, trying to pretend that it was fine. Trying to pretend that this was normal, that he regularly took girls- drunk girls, pretty, innocent, completely wasted girls virginities.

But he didn't. And it showed.

"It's okay, I'm not mad," he assured, his jaw tight. He didn't know what to do. It was too late. Maybe she wouldn't remember in the morning. Maybe she wouldn't realize what she'd given up--

No.

What he'd taken from her. Stolen from her. Why would he assume? Why would he ever think this was a good idea? Why would-

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, and Johnny did something he'd never done before. Never even thought to do.

He leaned down, and he hugged her. She hugged him back- or, tossed her arms over his back, her drunken sobs hitting his chest like a goddamn bullet. He made girls cry on purpose. He made them scream, and sob, and bleed-

She was doing all of that. But he did not want her to. He shushed her, kissing the nape of her neck, running his hand over her back, all in an attempt to comfort her. He shouldn't care. He'd never cared. He had never shown any feelings towards anyone for any goddamn reason. He was not that person.

But he felt like a bad person. He'd killed people, but that wasn't the issue right now.

No, he was so much worse than that. She was sweet, and clueless, and couldn't handle her alcohol. She'd had a terrible night. No girl like her would be in a shithole bar if she hadn't. And he'd made it worse.

And come morning, she may not even be aware of it. She'd wake up, stranded, sore, sick, in a cheap motel, alone. She'd assume that she'd called a cab, she'd assume that she handled herself fine, but Johnny would know. He'd know the truth.

What was he doing?

Nancy was right. Running off and ignoring the family was a terrible idea. She'd sworn that he'd get himself into trouble, and while she'd definitely been talking about the law, or barfights, he felt like this was his karma. This was his trouble. Hell, it didn't even affect him. It shouldn't affect him.

But she was crying in his arms, and she didn't even fully understand why. And he held her, feeling a responsibility to care for her, to comfort her.

He was going to have to stick around, wasn't he?

Come morning, she'd wake up sore and sick, and with a stranger. And he'd be there. And he'd scare her, and stress her out, and hold her hair as she threw up tonight's mistakes, and he'd probably hug her again as she cried.

Johnny sighed, using his thumb to wipe her tears. She'd already fallen asleep. He laid her down, put her clothes back on as best as he could, and covered her up with the blankets. And he left the room.

He stood just outside, unpocketing a carton of cigarettes and putting one in his mouth, using a rusty black flip lighter to ignite the end.

He didn't know what he was going to do. But he felt a responsibility. An attachment. He didn't understand it. Maybe in the morning he'd lose all sympathy and be gone before she woke up, but he found that outcome unlikely.

He'd figure it out. He had to.

[cheesemonky]

Chapter 5: Deeper Into the Forest

pairing: fairy!felix x fairy!reader

Series Masterlist

Word count: 1.5k

summary: A fairy gets their wings once they're 13. A normal one at least. You're 23, and still without any. This leaves you without a mate, because who would love a wingless fairy? So when you decide to leave, it's quite the surprise to find a fairy with a wing missing…

warnings: i dont think theres anything other than it being absolute word vomit and garbage, NOT PROOFREAD

The next morning, sunlight streamed through the windows of the holiday house, casting a warm glow over the room. You and Felix stirred from your makeshift beds, the events of the previous night still vivid in your minds. As you stretched and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, you couldn't help but feel a renewed sense of purpose. The mysterious clue in your pocket seemed to pulse with an unseen energy, urging you forward on your quest.

Heeseung and the other vampires were already awake, gathered around the ornate table in the centre of the room. The atmosphere was markedly different from the night before, filled with a sense of camaraderie and shared purpose.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Heeseung greeted you with a warm smile. "Did you sleep well?"

"Well enough," you replied, glancing at Felix, who nodded in agreement. "Thanks for helping us last night. That clue we found… it feels important."

"It is," Heeseung agreed, his expression serious. "The journey you're on is not an easy one, but it's clear you have the strength and determination to see it through."

Felix looked down at the glowing rock still clutched in his hand, its light now a soft, steady pulse. "So, what's our next step?" he asked, looking around at the group of vampires.

Jay, the responsible one, spoke up. "The clue mentions 'those of green.' It could be referring to a group or an entity associated with the colour green. There are many possibilities, but one stands out: the forest guardians."

"Forest guardians?" you echoed, intrigued.

"Yes," Sunoo chimed in, his sweet voice filled with excitement. "They're ancient beings who protect the forests and all its creatures. They're said to have a deep connection to nature and are known for their green attire and abilities."

Felix's eyes lit up. "That makes sense! But how do we find them?"

Riki, the youngest vampire, grinned mischievously. "Leave that to me. I know a guy who knows a guy. We'll get you in touch with the forest guardians in no time."

As Riki set off to make the necessary arrangements, Heeseung turned to you and Felix. "While Riki handles that, we need to prepare you both for what's to come. The forest guardians are not easily convinced to help outsiders. You'll need to prove your worth and earn their trust."

You exchanged a determined look with Felix. "We're ready," you said, your voice steady.

Over the next few hours, the vampires helped you and Felix gather supplies and prepare for the journey ahead. They shared stories of their own encounters with the forest guardians, offering valuable advice and insights. Despite their intimidating appearance, the vampires proved to be kind and generous hosts, their initial theatrics long forgotten.

As the sun began to set, casting a golden hue over the forest, Riki returned with good news. "I've made contact. The forest guardians are willing to meet with you, but you'll need to travel to their sacred grove deep within the forest. It's a long and challenging journey, but I have no doubt you can make it."

Heeseung handed you a map, carefully drawn and marked with key landmarks to guide you on your way. "Stay on the path and trust in yourselves," he advised. "And remember, the forest guardians value honesty and respect above all else. Show them that, and you'll have their support."

With the map in hand and a renewed sense of purpose, you and Felix bid farewell to your vampire friends, grateful for their help and hospitality. As you stepped out into the cool evening air, the forest around you seemed to hum with anticipation. The journey ahead was fraught with uncertainty, but you felt ready to face whatever challenges lay in wait.

Together, you and Felix set off into the forest, the clue in your pocket guiding you forward. The path was winding and often treacherous, but you pressed on, driven by the promise of discovery and the hope of unravelling the mysteries that lay ahead.

“Do you think we can trust them?” Felix asked, glancing back towards the now distant house.

“I think so,” you replied, stepping over a gnarled tree root. “They helped us, after all. Plus, they seemed genuinely interested in helping us find the Heart of Eris.” Felix nodded, though his brow remained furrowed.

“I just can’t shake off how strange that whole experience was. I mean, vampires?” You chuckled softly.

“I know. It’s a lot to take in. But if we can accept that vampires exist, I suppose forest guardians aren’t too far-fetched.” Felix smiled at that, his mood lightening.

“You’ve got a point there. It’s just… this whole thing feels like a dream.”

“A very weird, vivid dream,” you agreed, sharing in his wonder.

As night fell, the forest came alive with the sounds of nocturnal creatures and the rustling of leaves. The moon cast an ethereal glow over the landscape, illuminating your path and filling you with a sense of wonder. Despite the challenges, you felt a deep connection to the world around you, as if the very forest itself was guiding you towards your destination.

“Look at that,” Felix whispered, pointing to a cluster of glowing mushrooms growing at the base of a tree.

“They’re beautiful,” you murmured, pausing to admire the bioluminescent fungi. “It’s like the forest is welcoming us.” Felix knelt down, gently touching one of the mushrooms.

“Y’know, seeing things like this make me forget a little about how dangerous this whole thing is…”

“I know what you mean,” you said, crouching beside him. “But we can’t lose focus. You convinced me to help you with this mess, so you better not forget about it.” Felix stood, nodding resolutely.

“Right. Let’s keep moving.”

The path grew narrower and more winding as you ventured deeper into the forest. Trees loomed overhead, their branches intertwining to form a natural canopy that blocked out the starlight. The only illumination came from the moonlight filtering through gaps in the leaves and the occasional glow of phosphorescent plants.

“According to the map, we should be getting close,” Felix said, studying the parchment by the light of a glowing flower he had plucked earlier.

“I hope so,” you replied, feeling the fatigue of the journey beginning to set in. “I could use a rest.”

“Me too,” Felix agreed, his steps slowing. “But we have to stay alert. We don’t know what might be out here.” After hours of walking, you finally arrived at a clearing bathed in moonlight. In the centre stood a towering oak tree, its branches reaching towards the sky like ancient arms. Surrounding the tree were figures clad in green, their eyes glowing with an otherworldly light. Felix grabbed your arm, his grip tight.

“This must be it.”

You nodded, heart pounding with anticipation. Or maybe it was the way his hand felt against the skin of your arm. “Stay close.” As you stepped into the clearing, the figures turned towards you, their movements graceful and fluid. One of them, taller than the rest and adorned with a crown of leaves, stepped forward.

"Welcome, travellers," he spoke, his voice a melodic blend of authority and kindness. "We have been expecting you." You and Felix exchanged a wary glance before stepping forward.

“We’re here seeking your help,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. The figure nodded.

“We know. The winds of the forest have carried your story to us. But tell us, what brings you to our sacred grove?” Felix took a deep breath and began to explain, recounting your journey and the clues you had uncovered so far. The forest guardians listened intently, their glowing eyes never leaving your face. When Felix finished, the leader of the guardians stepped closer, his expression thoughtful. “Your quest is a noble one. But to earn our aid, you must prove your worth. We cannot grant our trust lightly.”

“What do we have to do?” you asked, your determination unwavering. The guardian smiled, a hint of challenge in his eyes.

“There is a trial you must undertake. It will test your courage, your wisdom, and your heart. Only those who are truly worthy can succeed.” Felix looked at you, his resolve mirrored in your gaze.

“We’re ready,” he said firmly.

The guardian nodded. “Very well. Follow me.” As you followed the guardian deeper into the forest, the air around you seemed to thrum with ancient magic. The trees parted to reveal a hidden glade, bathed in the soft glow of fireflies and moonlight. In the centre of the glade stood a stone altar, inscribed with runes that seemed to pulse with a faint, otherworldly light.

“This is the heart of the forest,” the guardian said, his voice reverent. “Here, you will face your trial. Prove yourselves, and the forest will aid you on your journey.”

You and Felix stepped forward, feeling the weight of the guardian’s words. The trial awaited, and with it, the next step on your path to unravelling the mysteries that lay ahead.

“So travellers, are you ready to take on what is to come?”

taglist: @mumusreblogs @2minstan @painstakingly-juno @jinnie-ret @juskz @nvmkyuu @cinnabunnyongbok @mirbokk @stardustlixie @vampcharxter @michelle4eve @silverstarburst @abovenyx @palindrome969 @hyunjinloverrr @asp3ntr33 @starrymactavish send an ask to be on the taglist!!

leisel's note: am i back? yes! am i writing again? yes but very inconsistently! i had a brain wave and lost it halfway through writing this. ill be posting random short stories and writing peices more often than actual fics or chapters but please show support still !! reblogging helps a lot with motivation :3

[pedros-immaculate-vibes]

A Peaceful Elf

Part II

Halsin/Tav fanfic (slow burn, fluff, angst)

“I have to say,” Astarion purred, “goblin blood has a deeply unpleasant, acrid aftertaste that I’ve never gotten from you, darling.”

You shot him a look that said you’d shoot him with something much sharper in a second.

“Wait, you—you what?” Frowned Gale, deeply confused.

“He’s delusional, I have no idea what he’s talking about, it must be all the ale in the goblin blood that’s, HAHA, affecting his speech and—and thinking,” you fumbled, refusing to make eye contact with anyone while rifling through Dror Ragzlin’s pockets. To your companions disgust, you’d already extracted the wriggling worm from his skull; you weren’t entirely sure why, besides the guardian’s voice recommending that you do it. For now, it stayed in a jar with a few others you had collected. For some future purpose. 

“Ah, yes, that must be it. All that vile ale just putting me right out of my own head! Speaking of head, how about we go and tell that Druid the good news now, hm?”

“Lady of Darkness, preserve us,” mumbled Shadowheart, appalled by the vampire’s crudeness and the wizard STILL being clearly oblivious to your arrangement with the vampire.

Gale, a bit confused by Astarion’s use of wordplay, agreed.

“Right. Let’s go,” you stated, the steadiness in your voice not paralleled by the sudden tremor in your hands. Standing up, you straightened your armor and, as subtly as possible, wiped the specks of blood from your cheeks whenever you saw your reflection in fallen armor or half-rusty shields. The hard part was over, the next part was cake. 

Right?

—

Halsin paced in the dimly lit dungeon, curiosity and anxiety mounting with every battle cry and—explosion?—noise he heard come from without the prison doors. Should he have gone with them? Should he have shifted into something small and returned to the grove while he could? Should he have prepared for the worst and braced for incoming goblin hoards?

The search for any sign of a Selunite outpost proved futile; nothing but debris and bodies littered the area. Once he had realized this, he spent the following stretch of time mulling over his predicament. 

Goblins threatening the grove, HIS grove; the grove being over run by refugees; the tensions he had left Kagha to handle during his capture (Sylvanus have mercy, Kagha was not the best at diplomacy), and the ever mounting danger of mindflayers that he still had no true trail of. 

But, one thing at a time. 

He focused on the moment at hand, planned for the best outcome and less ideal ones, and kept his mind as calm as possible. He did find that an interest in your preferred druidic practices kept popping into his mind, and he found that occurrence, well, odd. Of all things, why would that matter? It doesn’t. Plan ahead. Focus on a plan. 

A few minutes later, a familiar creak of dungeon doors followed by a familiar babble of voices stirred him from plans and pleasant distractions.

He held his breath, waiting to hear news and afraid to be too optimistic.

—

“Sylvanus guide you. What news?” He towered over you, eyes raking your face for clues of an answer.

My. Gods.

There was a quiet pause for a few beats when Shadowheart cleared her voice in an intentional way. 

You cleared yours, as well, but more to make sure it wouldn’t crack. “Halsin,” you bowed with a hand to your chest, “it is done. The three are no more. You are free to return to the grove. I do…however, have a request.”

“AH Sylvanus be praised!” He boomed. “No, that is unfair, it is you who should be praised! Tell me how I may aid you, it’s the very least I can—” suddenly, he paused. A queer look entered his eye as he stooped down, angling himself to stay out of any nearby light. Concern gripped him and he slowly reached his warm, callused fingers to your chin, angling it gently to the light.

“I…I think I can guess at your problem. Allow me to examine further. Please.”

You nodded, trying to remember this was important and not to focus on the fact that HE JUST TOUCHED YOUR FUCKING FACE AND HIS PALMS ARE SO FUCKING HUGE as he held his palm out in front of you and glowed with some kind of light you were unfamiliar with. You prayed the magic he was using wouldn’t uncover the flips your stomach currently occupied its time with.

Tension flowed over his face and shoulders. “Ah, hells below, you have a familiar problem I am unfamiliar with curing. A mindflayer tadpole. But…you know this and are of your own sound mind…How can this be?”

Another short pause as you tried to steady your voice.

“Sound mind is debatable, but needless to say, we have a—a kind of protection of sorts,” said Shadowheart, piping in to keep you from possibly revealing any secret she desperately wanted to keep. “Suffice it to say, we are in control of ourselves, however comforting that may be.” She glanced at you, and the string of entrails you had dangling from your armor. 

“Ho-ho, I missed that one,” you laughed as you peeled it off, to your own embarrassment moments later.

Halsin stared.

“Right,” he clapped his hands, glancing at the stone floor, then back up at the four of you, “Well, that is a relief, however, I regret I cannot offer more. There is no cure I know of for now. During my research, I did discover that these tadpoles are linked to recent pilgrimages, made by these zealots of the Absolute, to Moonrise Towers. I will gladly aid you, should your journey take you in that direction.” A warm smile brightening the dim hall. “If you don’t mind, we can speak of it as we take our leave of this festering pit. How many goblins are left outside these walls? I may not be at my best, but I can still be of use. And, I wouldn’t mind wreaking a bit of havoc on certain goblins in particular,” he mentioned heartily and smiled a crooked grin specifically at you. It felt like he could appreciate your unorthodox revelry in smiting the deserving. Or, maybe you were just looking into it a bit too far.

That’s when you realized you hadn’t said anything in a beat or two again because of his distracting eyes.

“Ah, well, we were able to actually clear the entire temple. It wasn’t that hard, truly.”

Halsin blinked. “You what?”

“Yeah! We poisoned the goblins’ drinking fountain before we entered the temple, placed a few grease bottles and fire bolts, annihilated their ogre at the front door, then hailed a few ogres I made a deal with to clear out the main halls,” you looked down and away, now caught in your train of thought. “Oh, and in between, I borrowed some smokepowder barrels from a merchant who was working with the goblins. Honestly, I’m quite surprised not one goblin batted an eye when we placed them around Ragzlin’s throne. About that, not sure what the Zhentarim are planning with the gobos and all of that smokepowder; there was so much, they could have blown up the remains of this temple, haha!”

—

So she’s not so quiet, thought the arch druid. She IS an odd one…

—

You looked back up, a bit wrapped in your own glorious momentum at the memory. 

“Ha! Well, I suppose the way is clear then! I look forward to hearing more about it! But I must get back to the grove as soon as possible. Thank you, brave one! Let us meet in more…bucolic surroundings.” He grinned, and with that, shifted into a mouse and darted away. 

“Hmm, one almost wonders why he didn’t do that in the first place,” Gale commented, knitting his brow. 

As you watched the mouse disappear into the gloom, you almost wished you had made it seem still a might bit perilous, if only to have the druid as company for a little while. Something about him made you feel…

NONSENSE. Utter nonsense. You subtly shook your head. 

“If I were you, Gale, I might not question one’s ability to wield magic under unexpected circumstances,” Astarion commented over his shoulder as he and Shadowheart sauntered toward the prison entrance.

“Oh, are you talking about that time he was stuck in that waypoint? Ha haaa,” Shadowheart laughed airily, like squeezing lemon drops on a cut.

“Astarion, if you happen to find your bedroll absolutely slathered in grease from here until this ‘Moonrise Kingdom’ or whatever some-such, I promise you, I’ll have no idea how it happened,” quipped Gale, just as airily.

You focused back on your companions as they turned around at the door and one chirped “Coming?” in your direction. 

“Maybe later, if she’s lucky,” Astarion mused aloofly. 

You rolled your eyes, took one more look around, and made your way toward them.

“Oh WAIT, I forgot to tell him we found that Outpost thing. That might be important, right?”

[landofzero-archive]

Absolute - To Abhor the Impure World 7

(Location: Hotel (Lobby))

Ibara: Then, I’ll be heading out.

Please! P-l-e-a-s-e, everyone behave, alright? Make sure to keep His Highness reined in, Jun!

Jun: You’re saying something impossible…… Well, I don’t want to put myself in danger, so I’ll behave, okay~?

Take care, Ibara. Please do your best to find Nagi-senpai.

Ibara: Of course! That person always causes unexpected trouble……!

NEGI: “…… He’s gone.

I only know superficial information but, who’s that ‘Ibara’ kid?”

Jun: Who is he…… He’s also a member of Eden, and he’s amazing at managing companies, being an idol, and being a producer all at the same time.

NEGI: “That’s only superficial, of course I know that.

I’m asking about essential things. What is that kid? He seems to be close to Uncle Gatekeeper, so is he someone from the underworld?

We were made to wait because it’s dangerous, but that Ibara kid seemed like he was going to participate in the investigation……

You all didn’t really try to stop him either, right?

You believe in that Ibara kid’s capability, no, his strength.

Who on earth is that kid that you guys trust so much?”

Jun: Well…… If you’re asking me, I don’t really know much about him either. It’s kind of my thing to not worry about small details like that, y’know~?

What’s important to me right now is that he’s a “reliable guy” that I can trust.  Basically, if we do what he says, things will turn out okay ‘n stuff.

NEGI: “I wonder what that’s like. This time, the scale of the story is different from what you usually experience. The nature of it is different too.

Right now, you guys may be caught up in a conspiracy involving a ton of money in a foreign country…… Probably.

No matter how talented he is, I don’t think that Ibara kid can handle it.

Even the management of Absolute, Uncle Gatekeeper, and the other adults with power and executive ability seem to be panicking.

It’s not just a school event where everyone can get along and have fun. I don’t know what kids like us can do. That Ibara kid is probably no exception.

…… It’s frustrating, but it’s the reality of the situation.”

Jun: ………

Hiyori: —Obviously! We can’t just leave it to Ibara!

Jun: Woah, Ohiisan!?

He had disappeared for some reason, so I thought he was just sulking and locking himself in his room again, but—

Hiyori: We don’t have time for that! Nagisa-kun is in a big pinch! What foul weather!

Of course, as Nagisa-kun’s best friend and family member, I can’t afford to waste time doing nothing!

Let’s go, Jun-kun! You too, NEGI-chan!

NEGI: “Eh- eh?”

Jun: W-Where are we going? Ohiisan?

Hiyori: You’re still as incomprehensible as ever, aren’t you? Obviously, I’m going to go find Nagisa-kun! There’s no need to ask!

Jun: No but, Ibara told us to wait—

Hiyori: I don’t recall ever being that child’s subordinate, you know? I have no obligation to listen to what he says!

Jun: Well I guess there’s some kind of obligation. But anyway, it’s dangerous outside the hotel—

Hiyori: That’s what that child thought, right? Since Shaka-san disappeared from a fortress-like place, there’s no place that’s absolutely safe!

That’s why! If it’s the same no matter where we are, I’ll choose to look for even the smallest clue!

I’m Nagisa-kun’s guardian!(1)  If that child is going through hardships, I have an obligation to help him!

Do you have any complaints, Jun-kun? It doesn’t matter if you don’t like it, I’ll just go alone!

Jun: …… No, I’ll be going too, okay?

Ohiisan won’t listen to me, even if I try to reason with you. If that’s how it is, I’ll feel better if I’m nearby to protect you instead of letting you wander around alone.

But being impulsive won’t help anything, so let’s prepare as much as we can at the hotel. Let’s prepare a map and drinks.

Hiyori: Yep! That’s essential! NEGI-chan, is there an up-to-date map of this area?

This area seems to be changing rapidly, so the maps and information online aren’t really reliable.

That’s why, since you’re living here, you’re a local, so-to-speak, and we’ll need your cooperation—we need your information.

NEGI: “Eh~…… Hmm, I wonder if it’s okay?

Well, alright. It’s frustrating to just go along with what’s convenient for adults.

I can empathize with the feeling that family is important and something you want to protect.”

TL Notes:

Hiyori uses the word “保護者” (hogosha) here, which can mean guardian, protector, patron, or parent. Pick your poison.

Previous | Directory | Next

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

organizing care + being a legal guardian + struggle tweeting irl

enstars thought collection below. i dont know how we got here.

anyway, so this is a post where i talk about my vague ideas on whats up with kanames health and care situation. like, legally speaking.

(spoilers for everything surrounding kaname, obbligato specifically)

basically. i am an avid tatsumi and himeru enjoyer and healthcare business and law is? my hobby? idk if you can call this a hobby? so i have been absolutely obsessing over every little throwaway line we get about how kanames long-term care is organized. because depending on who is currently responsible on paper... that could really influence a lot, right!!! since right now kaname is unable to make health decisions for himself.

we all know (ore-)himeru is going through a lot and the possibility of an added responsibility and financial burden of a guardianship on him is something that is very interesting to me.

point of the post so this post isnt much about existing laws (as they are extremely complicated, even if youre native to a region and language), i mostly want to discuss what we know and the possibilities and the mental burden of carrying legal responsibility on top of internal emotions (grief, guilt, loneliness, despair and hopelessness, possessiveness even, and whatever else himeru has going on).

its smth that strongly gnaws on you. i think everyone who ever had to apply for care/benefits will know how horrible of a process it is.

boring health stuff i tried to look up japanese law surrounding how long-term payment and guardianship is organized and who qualifies for both. i am german so obviously most of my knowledge only concerns the legal situation here, unfortunately. i am Assuming enstars just follows the laws of irl japan and as such at least a considerable chunk of financial burdens should be lifted by the countries mandatory insurance.(70%) BUT the long-term intensive care situation for people under the age of 40 is murky (relevant long-term care laws exist for the elderly and aim to provide financial relief. but idk how theyd handle the case of a teenager, especially one that, we can assume, used to be in the foster system. the jpn foster system is its own can of worms) no surprise, disability/care related payment plans for young people, esp those who have never been employed or paid into insurance, are always like. ridiculously convoluted. sometimes nonexistent. so who knows which laws specifically affect kaname here.

(ore-)himeru mentions him still being at a hospital (in romantic? date chapter 5) so that is a vital clue that this has not been outsourced to some other care facility. so i wonder... how expensive is this currently. must be intense. i am just willing to bet his legal guardian (will get to this in a second) has to make financial efforts, on top of the papers and forms and emotional burden that such an arrangement brings with itself. additionally, its somewhat obvious but ill specify it anyways: we are talking about a full-time in-patient situation. (ore-)himeru mentions the circumstances of kanames current health in chapter 1 of the epilogue of obbligato. (while not fully comatose, kaname is not lucid. he does some vocalizing sometimes but communication is not possible.)

so. HiMERU and all that makes you wonder... are the himerus connected via guardianship. we know from obbligato that kanames mothers is dead, he grew up alone (the tojo family not being in the picture, apparently), and while their father is alive, he was not in a position to care for either of them himself, health-wise. (and financially, i am willing to bet) so, responsibility would just jump to the next relative; that being the adult brother. young adult who barely made it back to the country! but working and adult and insured nonetheless, therefore qualifying.

i would assume (ore-)himeru did not need to step up/wasnt really in the picture either (at least health system databases might not have been aware of him) but he visits him in the hospital. even before that, he attempted to become at least somewhat involved in kanames life by his rough attempts to coach him. and most of all, you know how much kaname means to him. i am just going to assume he claimed him.

and like, thats a shit situation for someone in their early 20s (or however old he is). that would be horrible for anyone in a more stable situation at a more established age.

the emotional baggage of it all. not only have you just met your half brother and just gotten around to the idea of having family, you instantly get it taken from you again. the loss and grief and guilt must be unimaginable.

(ore-)himeru has.... unbelievable issues when it comes to... his attempts to prepare what he thinks would be an ideal life for kaname. whether in hope of one day handing it over or just as a sad tribute to what could have been or an attempt to keep “himeru”, the artistic vision, alive. however much of this is happening in what percentage and on what conscious level.

so to the urge to make “himeru” famous, this would add the absolute need to make himeru famous as a source of steady good income. of course (ore-)himeru is desperate to do well out of pride and love but financially and on paper he would be responsible for two people, adding to the pressure to be as successful as possible.

(additionally, while it does not justify (ore-)himeru’s actions, himeru also dodged a public scandal by staying an idol and performing as per usual. there were no news about an idol being beaten and staying unconscious and that by itself provides protection from the public for kaname. especially since his family is infamous to begin with. i wonder how much this would have mattered.)

matching themes? personally as a disabled person, as far as guadianship and custodianship goes, i have a lot of feelings. we all experienced it when we were younger and probably felt powerless in front of our parents sometimes. so experiencing this in your adulthood is GUTTING. yet, it can be absolutely necessary. and while guardians and custodians are often looked down upon, a lot of them are family members with their heart and mind in the right place, who make good decisions for someone they love. it cannot be underestimated how much paperwork and exhausting+annoying communication with your insurance provider goes into it.

so between this and (ore-)himerus behaviour in general i see a lot of matching themes.... mostly control and perseverance and, ofc, a certain flair of being very very condescending towards the person you are supposed to protect. after all, kaname cannot make any decisions right now, not about his health or “himeru”. and perhaps one day maybe his state will change and he will suddenly be more aware of his surroundings and forced to confront what happened without his influence. and he will find that his brother made responsible comprehensible decisions when it comes to his health but, without any need or agreement, took extreme liberties when it comes to his name. they are both important parts of him and (ore-)himeru having that double responsibilty and going wild with it is scary to me. and probably also scary to him. but he is too deep into it at this point.

idk. does any of this make sense. is this interesting. personally, the added layer of pressure and drama is interesting to me. to me its like... it supports all the themes we find in himeru anyway and makes his struggles worse, it just neatly fits into place.

personal related kaname thoughts will the story ever make him more lucid? who knows! i am terrified, personally, of the possibility.

enstars has its fair share of insensitive to offensive writing and i cannot imagine this going well. i cannot imagine them writing this in a way that is respectful and includes a realistic rehab process that restores a realistic amount of physical and neurological functions. especially since... not gonna lie guys. at this point. idk how much quality of life kaname can regain in his current state.

+the added trouble he would get in because (ore-)himeru, essentially, stole his identity is straight up infuriating. i dont think i have to mention this. where do you even start and TRY to live a normal life after this shit.

and thats sad. bc i love kaname dearly. he is an extremely silly, bratty, lovable character to me and i want the best for him so i have these horribly detailed harsh expectations. maybe it will never happen and ngl, that would be perfectly fine with me, too.

disclaimer etc etc i dont know shit about the japanese health system and if you somehow happen to know how intensive long-term care for an underage person that grew up in the foster system would be financed (like, who is responsible??!?!??!?!) please let me know >:) i love learning about health systems. a lot of the stuff i wrote above is just really basic common sense, i just wanted to talk about it.

[fanartfic]

The Missing One

After a meeting with Lord Gortash, Tav is given a disturbing revelation.

CW: Some Angst, Mild Spoilers.

“Someone in your camp has been replaced.”

Tavya had felt her blood freeze at those words. Gortash had eyed her with malicious glee when he had revealed that tidbit of information to the group. Whether it was true or not remained to be seen. After all, Gortash wasn't exactly the most trustworthy of sources. But at the same time, he had no reason to lie. He wanted Orin dead, and giving her reason to go after the shape-changer was to his benefit.

Only one question remained: who had been taken?

As Tavya walked across the causeway to Wyrm's Crossing, she could hear the others talking behind her, trying to figure out who it was, or speculating if it was one of them.

“I don't know if you are acting strange because you've been replaced, or because this group is filled with weirdos!” Astarion exclaimed, flinging his hands into the air in frustration.

“Well, you would certainly be able to tell if it was me. My spirit guardians would be absent in our scuffles.” Shadowheart added, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Well, it isn't me,” Karlach snapped her fingers and an burst of flame flickered from her thumb. “Know any shapeshifters who can do this?”

“It's pointless to make assumptions right now.” Tavya turned to face the others. “We have been together nearly day in and day out since we arrived in Baldur's Gate. If it's anyone, it's those who remain behind at camp.” She held her chin as she thought for a bit, worry and anxiety knitting in the pit of her stomach.

“Well, what should we do then? Kill everyone at camp?” Karlach crossed her arms over her chest.

“We do nothing.” Tavya concluded.

“What?”

“We do nothing. We continue on as we have.” Tav slung her bow back over her shoulder. “With any luck, they'll reveal themselves on their own.”

“How do we know they won't just kill who they took?” Shadowheart asked.

“This is Orin we’re dealing with. She's been following us around, putting on a show, enjoying how uncomfortable she can make us for almost a ten-day now. This is just her next step. She wont kill her prisoner, not without us to witness it.” Tavya turned and began walking back towards the lower city.

“And what are we doing now?”

“We’re going to take Gortash up on his offer. Right now, our goals align.”

“Wait, are we actually going to team up with the bastard?” asked Astarion

Karlach huffed angrily, she hadn't liked how Tav had handled the meeting with Gortash, and had to struggle to keep her temper in check.

“I agreed to nothing. I only said I’d think about it. Nothing is written in stone.” Tav looked up at Karlach. “Look, I know you wanted to kill Gortash right there and then, but then we would have the entire city coming down on our heads, including the bastard's steel watch.” She rested a hand on Karlach’s shoulder. “You'll get your due… just be patient. Both we and Gortash have reasons to go after Orin. So, go after her we will, with the freedom we need to search the city.”

Karlach sighed in frustration. She knew Tav was right, and had made a smart choice. “Fine, but no one gets to cut him down but me.”

Tav nodded in agreement. “Alright, first off, let’s find out where Orin’s hiding spot is. We’ll move forward from there.”

As they began to comb the lower city for clues, Tavya racked her brain, trying to figure out if anyone had been acting strange.

Lae’Zel was sticking true to form, being quite obstinate in her refusal to kill Orpheus when Vlaakith made another unwelcomed appearance. If a doppelgänger had replaced her, they had done very extensive research before doing so.

Gale had been pouring over any history books he could locate, hoping to find anything on the crown of Karsus. He welcomed the time in camp for research. And he wouldn’t stop talking about that magic shop.

Jaheira would leave for the day to go check in on her harpers, unless Tav asked her to join her on something. Recently, she had asked for her aid in locating her friend, Minsc. A meeting with Nine-Fingers Keene was inevitable, as the Harpers were spread out too thin, and unreliable with the threat of shapeshifters about.

Wyll had been a ball of anxiety ever since finding out the fate of his father from Mizora. That devil witch just would not stay away, and her projection had been haunting the camp ever since.

That left Halsin. He had decided to remain behind after a few days of roaming the city. It wasn’t quite to his liking. Instead, he helped where he could in Rivington while Tav and the others were out and about.

He had been a little absent, as of late. Tav figured he was absorbed in what he was doing, aiding the refugees encamped outside the city walls. He did tend to do that when he was focused on something. He had seemed a little miffed when they had rented out the room in the Elfsong Tavern. ‘Too removed from nature,’ was his reasoning. But, true to form, he had remained. Saying that he had made a promise to her.

In fact, they hadn’t really spoken since. It was odd, Tav thought. Ever since their talk in Sylvanus’ glade they had remained close, talking about their pasts, the present, what they hoped to achieve in the future, and about what kind of role Sylvanus wanted Tavya to take.

As the sun began to set, Tav looked out over the harbor. Even it seemed choked, barely seeming alive even as the water lapped at the docks. There were way too many scavenger birds, and dead fish floated on the mirky waters.

She could see why Halsin didn’t like it here. But he wouldn’t shut her out because of it. . .

Would he?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~}{~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tav had just returned to the large room they shared at the Elfsong after a long hard day of searching the sewers. They had just found and defeated Sarevok, taking his amulet of Bhaal to let them into the temple that they had learned was buried deep in the Undercity. They had also made a new ally in the floating celestial investigator that he had captured to use as a proving ground for his initiates.

The others had remained at the bar, enjoying a well earned drink. Halsin though, was absent. She had asked Jaheira if she had seen him, and she merely shrugged.

”He said he didn’t feel very well, so he was going to go rest.” She had answered,

Rest. . . Yes, rest was indeed needed. Tav was exhausted, and headed over to the small offshoot of the room that served as her sleeping quarters. She was looking forward to time in bed. As she rounded the corner, she came across Scratch, the white dog they had rescued on the road, laying on the floor, his fur stained with blood. Looming over him was an all too familiar giant cave bear.

“Halsin! What have you done!” Tav cried out, kneeling next to Scratch. The dog was alive, but unconscious. The bear growled, and reared up on its hind legs. Tav drew her sword, crouching low over the dog.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Halsin, but I will defend myself!” She warned, her blade brandished.

The bear fell back on all fours, observing the blade in her hands. Then the familiar glow of golden light illuminated the space around them, and Halsin was on the floor before her, trembling.

“Please wait! I did not want this. I could not stop it,” he pleaded, his hands held out in front of him.

“What the nine hells happened!” Tav demanded.

Halsin looked up at her, tears beginning to spill down his cheeks. “It’s this place, this city. I can feel its corruption eating away at me.” He began to explain, slowly getting to his knees. “I should not be here, No one should be here. It has made a monster of me!” The last words were spoken with such venom that Tav took a step back, her sword still drawn.

“Halsin! Calm down. You’re not acting like yourself.” She almost ordered him, trying desperately to get him to be reasonable again. This was not the Halsin Tav had come to know, and the sinking feeling in her gut was all but confirming her suspicions now as details from the past few days began to fall into place.

“I can’t! Whatever powers I have, they are dwarfed by the evils of this place!” Halsin cried. “Sylvanus has abandoned this place. It’s nothing but stone, grime, smoke, pain, the trees choke here! The animals hang from butcher’s hooks. Nature is dying in the gutter!” He coughed, and winced in pain. “There is only one god fit to be bowed to in this place. The last god who will ever be knelt before. Then all of this will tear itself apart.”

Halsin coughed some more, clutching at his head and groaning as if it were going to explode. “My body is trying to fight the corruption. But its losing. And my mind will succumb soon after.” His eyes seemed to glaze over as he seemed to stare off into a far off place. Tav tensed as he drew his dagger from its sheath at his back. “I will not allow it.” He gasped, the words coming out labored. “I will not surrender control. Even in this place, there are still innocents.” Halsin held the knife to his chest, intent on plunging it into his heart.

Tav’s heart was screaming at her to intervene, but her logic won out. Halsin wouldn’t have let himself go this far. Not after everything they had been through. He would have come to her for help, or at the very least, returned to the wilds in his bear form.

No, this wasn’t Halsin. She prayed silently to Sylvanus that she was making the right call.

And that was to call the bluff.

“What are you?” Tav growled, her sword brandished.

Halsin paused, looking up at her. “What?”

“You’re not Halsin, so what are you?” Tav repeated.

Halsin began to laugh. A maniacal laugh that was definitely not his.

”Ha, so close to grasping the problem, but you fell short all the same.” Halsin stood to his feet, the blade dropping to the floor. “You better sharpen that wit of yours if you hope to spare your friend the true blade.”

The sickening crack of bone echoed through the room as Halsin’s body twisted and deformed before disappearing into dust, leaving Orin leering at Tav in its wake.

“Look at it, crawling and sniffing and rooting around in the filth. Is it my Netherstone you seek, little piggy?”

Tav’s eyes narrowed, her blade at the ready.

“Hush hush, Orin will take care of you, and your little pet.” The foul woman purred, her finger lightly tapping the tip of Tav’s blade.

“What have you done with Halsin?” Tav growled.

“Nothing! No not a thing! He is still gasping and gagging on the foul airs of Bhaal’s temple. I will not slice, his kind die too easily. The murder lord demands a better offering. Something new, something sticky sweet and delicious. He wants you.”

Tav felt shivers go up her spine and down her arms, and her hands became cold and clammy.

“A lot of people want me. He’s going to have to get in line,” Tav said, gritting her teeth. It was taking all of her patience to not dive in attacking Orin. But she knew she couldn’t take this foul demon by herself. All she had to do was keep her talking until the others noticed something was off.

“Bhaal waits for no one, stupid cur.” Orin snapped, “But before I bring you to him, you must be sharper, more exquisite.”

“Sharper? And how exactly does that happen?” Tav tried to relax a little, show some more confidence, but her sword was still up, just in case Orin did something to try and harm her.

“Against the tyrant’s throat of course.” Orin said, matter of factly, before the bone cracking resumed and suddenly she took on the form of the new Grand Duke. Even his voice was exact as she continued. “I had an arrangement with Lord Gortash, but he whinges and wails over the crown, wanting to wield it alone. Oh how I long to slit his poxy smile from ear to ear. But I can’t touch him. He bound my blade when we first conspired.”

“Huh, I wonder why he did that?” Said Tav, the sarcasm dripping from her voice.

“Silence!” Orin sneered, suddenly returning to her original form. “Gortash didn’t want me at first. Didn’t trust me, got me to wag my tongue and swear an oath to never hang him from the hooks, drip drain him into Father’s open jaws.” Orin took a step forward, pushing Tav’s sword to the side, and sticking a pointed finger into her breast. “You must kill the tyrant, take the netherstone from his corpse, and bring it to my temple.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Because you have no other choice!” Orin laughed. “There we will slice and shred each other. The survivor claims the stones. What’s left of the other is Bhaals.”

“Why in the nine hells would I agree to such a thing?” Tav asked, backing away a step.

“Because if you don’t agree, my assassins will spray the crimson from your veins. Oh how they have longed to do so. You will learn what happens to those who defy Bhaal’s doctrine. And so will your friend.”

Orin backed away slowly, a vindictive smile on her face. “I’ll be waiting in the temple. Come to me, once you have come to your senses.”

She held up her hand and reached for a ring on her finger. With a twist of the ring, Orin disappeared. A transportation spell that Tav was getting too familiar with.

Tav stood there for a long moment, her mind racing as fast as her heart. How long had it been since she had last spoken to Halsin? Five, maybe six days? Was it really him that accompanied her to the temple to help solve that monk’s murder? Or fought the shapeshifters who had impersonated the Harper’s in that shop basement?

“No. . . Please, Oak Father,” she whimpered, before her sword clattered to the floor, herself collapsing in a sobbing heap next to it. She couldn’t help but throw her head back and scream in fear and rage.

Scratch stirred, and slowly got up, limping over to her and whining as he nuzzled her neck. Tav cast a quick spell so she could understand him.

“I’m alright, I knew it wasn’t him. He didn’t smell right.” Scratch explained.

Tav took a look at Scratch’s leg. There was a nasty cut, but thankfully it wasn’t deep. With a quick healing spell that Tav kept handy, his leg was as good as new.

“I have to find him, Scratch.”

“I can help. I can smell him out.”

“Orin is dangerous. I don’t want you to get hurt either.” Tav rubbed the dog behind the ears. “Besides. . . I already know where to go.”

Tav heard hurried footsteps behind her as the others rushed into the room.

“What’s wrong? What’s happened?” Shadowheart rushed to Tav’s side, checking her over.

“It was Orin,” Tav explained, trying to regain her composure. “She took Halsin.”

The others froze at her words and looked at each other. “He’s already dead then,” said Karlach.

Tav shook her head. “No, She’ll keep him alive. She wants me to come to the temple to fight her. She knows I care about him. She wants to see me suffer.”

Tav got to her feet and picked up her sword, returning it to its sheath. “Good thing we already have what we need to get there. We leave at first light.”

The others nodded in agreement. As everyone headed towards their bunks, Astarion came over to Tav, and rested a hand on her shoulder.

“We are all with you, you know that. But what happens if you are wrong about Orin?”

“Then you will see a side of me that you will never wish to see again,” Tav said, a dark look entering her eyes. Astarion pulled his hand back, startled at the change in his friend’s countenance. He had no doubt in his mind that Tav meant to chop off Orin’s head.

“You have grown quite attached to the Druid, haven’t you?” He said, crossing his arms.

Tav sat down on her bed and leaned over, her elbows on her knees. “More than I knew,” she said, her voice breaking as tears stung at her eyes.

Astarion sat down next to her and sighed. “Well, I suppose we better go and get him then. He is useful around the camp.”

He grunted as Tav elbowed him in the side. “Alright, alright. . . He is a valued member of our troop, a good healer, and good company. You’re right. We shouldn’t leave him to die, and we get to kill two birds with one stone.”

Tav took in a deep breath and rubbed her neck. “Let’s hope the one bird isn’t too difficult.”

“You alright, old wolf?” Jaheira came up to them and sat down opposite of Astarion.

Tav shook her head. “No. I’m not, she said, her eyes fixating on a portrait that hung on the wall. “But when have I ever?”

“When you were with him,” Jaheira pointed out. “We’ll get him back, don’t worry.”

Tav nodded her head and looked at Astarion. “With the fight that is coming next, I’ll need Lae’Zel. Do you mind staying behind and scouting for where the Thieves Guild entrance is?” She asked.

“Oh, darling, I’m hurt. I thought we had something special.” Astarion leaned back with his hand over his heart, mock shock spread over his face as his eyes twinkled with mischief. “Don’t worry. I’d rather not go back into the sewers anyway.”

“Thank you, Astarion.” Tav laid a hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze. “I really appreciate it.”

”Don’t think about it,” Astarion said as he stood. “Now, I have a long day ahead of me. I am going to rest up while I can.”

“I’ll go with you tomorrow.” Said Jaheira. “With any luck, Keene hasn’t moved the guild hall since I located it last.”

“Ah, this should be fun. I’ll meet you downstairs in the morning, dear. Don’t be late.”

Jaheira smirked as Astarion walked away. “Has he always been so full of himself?” She asked Tav.

Tav let out a forced chuckle. “Gods, you have no idea,” she said as she began to remove her boots.

“Will you be alright?” Jaheira asked one more time.

Tav replied in grim determination: “I will have to be.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[invinciblerodent]

1, 4 and 35 for the baldurs gate ask game if you want

Of course! :)

@ Tell us about your Tav! Name, class and subclass, race, pronouns. Do you have a headcanon for where they're from? Their family? Are they a Dark Urge? Or did you choose an Origin Character? Was it an easy decision? (1)

- Arvid Trygg, he/him, dwarven Cleric of Tempus, War domain. I headcanon that he was originally raised in a small village monastery (he was technically born- and immediately abandoned there, but isn't too broken up about it), but was later sent to the city to "fill in" after the death of their previous healer, with the hopes of eventually becoming a high priest himself. This was about maybe a year or two ago. Even though he's a skilled combatant (all followers of Tempus are, he IS the god of warfare), healing and taking care of people is something he likes to do and is good at, so it was a fairly perfect fit- though we know it kinda didn't end up working out lol.

He considers the warrior-monks who raised him to be his only family- which stands to reason, after all his biological father doesn't know he exists, and his mother was like 16-17 when she had him and went back to her life afterwards. There were always a few other children around (not many, but a few), most doing seminary school, and the priests and monks were strict but fair, so he actually had a fairly pleasant childhood. He didn't get quite enough affection to know how to handle it as an adult, but he's... definitely functional at least.

I also headcanon that even though there is a strict hierarchy in the church of Tempus and there are specific terms to call people [Arvid is technically a Direhar I think, a guardian priest], among themselves they occasionally use "shield-brother" and "shield-sister" as a term of affection. In my mind that's not quite a comrade and not exactly family, but someone to whom you'd entrust your life, and for whose life you'd give yours. A person with whom you'd share a shield. (I'm hoping to whip it out in opportune moments! It's kind of excellent to use with a love interest early on because it sounds innocent and friendly, and they have no clue it actually means "I would die for you".)

~~~~

@ Do you remember in which order you recruited your companions? Which companion introduction would have felt the most familiar / like home to your Tav / Character? (4)

- I think the order went Shadowheart->Astarion->Gale->Lae'zel, and Lae'zel I only managed to get after I was already done with that first dungeon (I just went the wrong way lol). Then of course Wyll->Karlach.

I think as a fellow cleric and the circumstances under which they met (he freed her from the pod), he felt an immediate closeness with Shadowheart - despite them worshipping different gods, there is a mutual respect and understanding there that exists from the first moment. She's actually kind of his best friend right now, and definitely someone in whom he confides. There is nothing romantic there, just a deep friendship. He appreciated her trust in sharing her worship, and as a person whose deity is decidedly neutral, he respects how genuine her belief is. (As far as he's concerned, honest belief and a willingness to fight for it are always honorable.)

As someone who's only ever really thought of as personal friends were other clerics, priests, and religious folks, her presence is definitely something of a comfort, especially considering all the new things he's experiencing and feeling in general.

~~~~

@ Has your Character done anything that they regret in Act 1? (35)

Oh, definitely the Auntie Ethel stuff. He feels just rotten about the whole thing. When he met her at the druid grove she was like the FIRST person to fuss over him and his wellbeing like that (plus he never HAD a grandmother, he was VULNERABLE), so of course he threw himself into combat to defend her when they encountered her on the road. Of course then the swamp was revealed to be what it is, they found the poisoned apples along the way, and encountered her again, so now he... really regrets the way he didn't much try to hear those boys out and didn't believe them. They didn't have to die, they were just scared and trying to help their sister.

Also Mayrina... I think he regrets giving her the wand. I think he just keeps thinking about how he never should have even told her that he found it, much less used it. He wishes he could comfort her, and regrets not having gone there sooner to maybe have a shot at actually resurrecting Connor. It's silly of course, but he's a very lawful good cleric boy, and that cursed half-life is no life any would want to live.

Oh, he also feels pretty bad about the whole "cultists of the Absolute" business- he has respect for them because, well, their beliefs are genuine and they do fight to the death for them (and who is he to tell a person which god is right and which is wrong), but he really can't NOT fight against them. So the "is it een right for me to fight at all" is a bit of a dilemma that occasionally keeps him up at night.

.... He also kinda regrets not taking Lae'zel's offer of just pounding it out early on, but, yeah, he's never had a relationship and was pretty damn terrified of her. He also rejected Astarion and Wyll by this point, so there's a lot of "did I do the right thing, am I feeling the right things, am I doing something wrong and giving people unintended ideas, does my wanting to be close to Gale even MEAN anything, do I like him or just respect him (and think he's kind and handsome and cool and charming and etc), what's wrong with me" type of thinking going on. He's figuring out a lot of things many do at 16 now at 35.

[bbhyeoliskooks]

❝𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐄𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲.❞ — SIX.

A story in which Yeonjun is your troublemaker guardian angel.

Introduction. | One. | Two. | Three. | Four. | Five. | Six. | Seven.

𖥻 Pairing: GuardianAngel!Choi Yeonjun x Reader (Female)

𖥻 Genre: Angst, fluff, guardianangel!au, served with 4000+ words

𖥻 Warnings: idk myself but unedited 

𖥻 Playlist: Akin Ka Na Lang, Je Te Veux, Love Is You, Sweet, The One That Got Away

Every single day after Yeonjun came back was nothing short of heaven for you. At last the angel whom you thought would have left forever came back to you and every moment was better than ever. 

Those nights in agony where you prayed to God, desperately hoping he’d come back were honestly worth it. No amount of crying and wishing from the heart would make you regret your decision since it all meant that he was in your embrace once again. The new found relationship was as happy as ever, but this time you two were actually dating and you could actually call him your boyfriend!

Although it hadn’t been long since you started dating- almost 3 weeks and 5 days but who was counting!- every memory and second together felt like walking on clouds. It felt like your heart flew higher than Yeonjun could’ve ever done before he became a guardian angel. He may have lost his freedom, but at least he gained something so much better, you thought as he stole a glimpse at you once again. 

Every waking moment was divine and you enjoyed seeing him after the sun rose and left rather than being left with an empty bed. Your world felt perfect, so you cherished what you had with him while he was there on Earth. If it was for the rest of your life then... there was really no opposition to be found. 

Never in a million years would you think you’d be in a grocery store, secretly passing kisses with your guardian angel- out of everyone in the world- and trying not to get caught from any lingering eyes in the ice cream aisle. His lips were sweeter than honey and sugar combined, and you were sure that it could replace the love of ice cream in your life. However, Yeonjun’s kisses became bolder and bolder as time passed and soon you two were making out against the chilled window of one of the ice cream freezers.

You giggled enamored, wrapping your arms around Yeonjun’s neck as he pressed a kiss against your cheek this time.

“We need to stop, Yeonjun! People will see us and-”

He interrupted you by leaving another saccharine kiss on your lips, a fresh invitation to make out that had you swooning once again.

“Aw, but Y/N.. I was just starting to have fun. If you want, we can get out of here and go back home,” he whispered seductively- which you had no clue an angel could do, granted that they were pure beings after all.

You shook your head, slightly pushing him away and grabbing your cart.

“Not now angel,” from the corner of your eye, you saw that he had pouted, “we can do so later but I do want to make you something yummy for tonight.”

His eyes lit up and he almost jumped, hanging onto the edge of the cart with giddiness.

“Oh my gosh, really?!! I love you so much, angel! Let’s go hurry and get the rest of the stuff; I’m very excited to see what you’ll make me!”

The change in his demeanor caused you to laugh and you pushed the cart along, hearing him pleasantly hum your favorite song from behind you. You couldn’t help but join in too, drawing circles on the handle as he led the melody. All you could think was: this was so totally worth it.

You were sorting the groceries and putting the pasta in the pantry, mindlessly thinking to yourself. It was nearing the end of the day, as the stars would soon coat the blanketing night sky. Honestly, every day went by so quickly with your angel. Now that he was here, it was a dream come true. You couldn’t help but cherish every minute, compared to a couple weeks ago when your heart couldn’t find solace without him. Some may call it dependency, but when you experience pure love like Yeonjun’s, how can one ever move on?

It wasn’t until Yeonjun snuck up behind you, his warm arms pulling you close, that you realized that he would never disappear again. Somehow, you could feel his love overflowing immensely from his soul as he held you, smiling in the crook of your neck. His natural scent filled the air, lingering as your heart beat even faster.

You smiled, shifting your head to get even closer to him. 

“You smell good.. but you were in the shower for too long because I already miss you.”

He smirked, letting his arms relax yet still holding you comfortably.

“That’s not true because I missed you more. Come to bed now? It’s getting late.”

You laughed at his rationale and his line of reasoning. No matter what happened in the past, you were thankful you had him now. Him leaving would never happen again.

“Sure,” you giggled, grasping his hand as he led you to the room.

Your eyes remained wide open with the air cold enough to make them tear up. It had been a restless night thanks to the coffee you drank earlier and even though you were completely comfortable in Yeonjun’s warm arms, nothing could help you fall asleep.

Yeonjun, looking up from his book, noticed that you were still awake before looking at the time- almost 1am. His eyebrows crinkled and he looked down at you confused. You didn’t notice his lingering stare and remained focused on your inability to sleep, wondering if you had insomnia or not- an overreaction to just drinking coffee. It’s almost as if Yeonjun read your thoughts, and he put down his book on the table beside the bed.

“Can’t sleep, angel?”

You looked up at him, frowning and nodding your head.

“Yeah, unfortunately. I think it might be because of the coffee that you told me not to drink earlier before we went grocery shopping.”

He let out a chuckle, turning all his attention on you. His blue hair was still a little wet, matted to his forehead in a way that made your heart swoon.

“I told you not to,” he tapped your nose to which you smiled at, “but it’s okay. Since I’m here, I can sing you to sleep.”

You rolled your eyes, jokingly scoffing to yourself.

“You definitely can’t. I know you’re an angel and all and angels are supposed to be close to perfect, but that’s just not possible for you to have another talent.”

And once again, Yeonjun just had to impress you as his lips parted and sang a soft lullaby. There were no words to it since he sang on a closed vowel but the timbre of his voice sent shivers down your spine. It wasn’t supposed to be surprising since he was an angel after all, but his voice was genuinely the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard. No one could compare to his remarkable talent and just for a second, you thought you ascended to heaven. You swore you could listen to his voice every night before going to sleep; you would just have to pretend you couldn’t fall asleep from now on. You felt extremely to have Yeonjun as your boyfriend.

Yeonjun smiled at your visible awe, pausing his song. It’s almost as if he read your mind, so you poked fun at him and closed your eyes.

“Come on, angel, go to sleep now.” He pressed a kiss against your forehead, watching your eyes slowly close and your smile fading as you drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

Yeonjun couldn’t have asked for anything more. For you to be wrapped in his arms, sleeping peacefully with shallow breaths. He wanted to cherish this moment forever and if it wasn’t selfish, he wanted to hold you close and look at you like this for eternity. Peaceful, content, and the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. You were the prettiest thing he’s ever seen; nothing could ever compare to this, not even being in heaven. It’s crazy how deep he fell in love with you and being away from you for even just a little bit felt like eternity to him. He would never leave you again, unless you asked him.

As he was admiring you, a thud came from beside the open window. Yeonjun furrowed his eyebrows, staring at the window a little bit. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The stars were twinkling as per usual. The night seemed to drag on. The curtains were flowing as they usually had, but he could sense a peering presence that he felt called to respond to. He didn’t want to seem crazy but it felt like there was someone, or interestingly enough- something out there. He looked at you, smiling that you had finally gone to sleep, before getting up and tucking you in bed.

As soon as he took his first step out, he saw a radiating light, extremely familiar to an angel’s. He ran to the window, heart dropping in shock, knowing that this was not good news. White feathers, shining light, and a comforting presence? How ironic. This only meant one thing, and it wasn’t good. Now he was face to face with Taehyun, one of the superior angels in heaven. He was visibly shocked, anger weaving itself into his perfect features. Although, he seemed more so confused. 

Yeonjun sent him a sheepish smile to which Taehyun only seemed to get more irritated at and growled in a low voice:

“We need to talk.”

Yeonjun sighed, holding himself against the chill of the dark night. He was preparing for the worst, hoping that Taehyun’s visit wouldn’t change anything. But he wasn’t foolish- he knew what this visit meant just by Taehyun’s expression and frustrated stance.

Yeonjun then spoke up, impatiently wanting to get back to you who was still sleeping soundly and hadn’t noticed his absence.

“Why are you here?”

Taehyun, grimaced, crossing his arms as he leaned against the tree. His light radiated from his body, although he was in his physical form. Anyone who saw would immediately be blinded, though it didn’t seem like Taehyun cared about that right now. Yeonjun gulped, his eyes not daring to look at him straight in the face.

“You have a lot of audacity to ask that. You know that right?”

Yeonjun parted his lips to say something, but Taehyun immediately cut him off with an irritated tone.

“I wanted to see why you complained and wanted to change your assignment three weeks ago? I thought you had problems with your human, but it looks like the case is far from that.”

Yeonjun furrowed his eyebrows, immediately getting defensive. He knew Taehyun wouldn’t hurt Y/N just by his nature, but there was no telling of what he was thinking or what he would do. Nonetheless, he let the superior angel continue, venom lacing his soft spoken voice.

“Guardian angels are not to fall in love with humans! I know that this is your first human, but it is strictly forbidden. I would ask how long it has been going on, but that doesn’t matter. Yeonjun, there will be consequences to pay for your actions. You’re supposed to know better.”

Yeonjun only got angrier with Taehyun’s words, clenching his fists at his sides. If he already broke that one rule, then he could at least make a stand against his superior- another broken rule that would lead to more disaster in the future.

“Forgive me, but I already know that. I tried not to, but I fell in the hardest way possible. It was as simple as flying to me, and I will not let you take her away from me!”

Taehyun’s expression relaxed, deadpanned. There was no more emotion in his voice as he spoke, which was crueler because it showed he didn’t care. Yeonjun’s soul crumbled at the next words that Taehyun said.

“I will separate something that is not allowed and “natural”. I follow God’s orders, not yours, and it is extremely rude to speak back to a superior. Yeonjun, you’ve failed the job of being her guardian angel by having a...” he paused for a little, scrunching his nose for a second, “... unique relationship. I will have you know that none of the angels in God’s order stands for this.”

Yeonjun gulped, a hard bulge already forming at the back of his throat. He seemed to not get the hint, more so wanting to deny the words on the tip of Taehyun’s tongue.

“You are strictly forbidden to see her again. You will only get that privilege after 10 years which seems enough time for her to forget you, but little for you. During that time, you must prove that you have fallen out of whatever “love’ you have for her” he snided, rolling his eyes. He blinked with nothing but cruelty behind his eyes. “You have only until the sun rises and as soon as light shines, you must report back to heaven.”

“Wait, Taehyun-!”

The superior angel disappeared in a second, with Yeonjun foolishly trying to reach out to him. His eyes widened, reality falling on him at full speed. His world crumbled at his shoulders and he didn’t have enough strength to push it back up and find a solution. Taehyun’s word, coming from God, was absolute and there would be nothing he could do to fix the situation. Love wasn’t enough this time and though he couldn’t accept it, he had to.

The night stared back at him as he wished that the sun would never appear. The wind picked up around him as his blue hair swept violently around his face. His heart pulled at his soul, not being able to decide if he should tell you the truth or not. He knew it would change your relationship dynamic and he didn’t want to wreck what little time you had left, even if it was a couple hours. It was a cruel game and Taehyun was generous to offer a little bit of time. He crawled back into the window, softly shutting it behind him when he noticed that you were awake, dazed and confused.

You wiped the slumber out of your eyes, squinting and noticing that the atmosphere seemed despondent. Yeonjun scratched his neck meekly, knowing that you knew he left the house.

“Angel?” You noticed a grim look on Yeonjun’s face. Immediately your heart dropped but you tried to swallow the emotions away. He promised he wasn’t going to leave, right? You had no reason to doubt him, especially when he came back. There would be consequences if he went back to heaven, so there’s no way that he would return. 

Yeonjun gave you a wary grin, one that didn’t go unnoticed by you. You just tilted your head to the side, waiting for an explanation. In a second his smile faltered which meant that he was definitely hiding something. 

“Where did you go?”

Yeonjun just shook his head in response, letting out a deep sigh.

“Oh, I just wanted to fly for a bit. You know, get some fresh air?”

You raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. Yeonjun simply got into bed, ignoring your confusion before pulling out the linen sheets over his legs. Then he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you in closer for what he’d call “snuggles,” his favorite thing to do with you. As always, he was warm and his presence was comforting enough to drown out the wary atmosphere. 

There were a couple of minutes of silence between you two as you buried yourself deeper into Yeonjun’s chest. Again, Yeonjun wasn’t very smiley which was out of the blue because he was always really excited and happy to be near you.

Rolling your eyes, you quickly pulled yourself out of his hug, demanding answers.

“Yeonjun, I know there’s something wrong. Won’t you tell me?”

Sighing, Yeonjun looked at you with a sad look in his eyes.

Your heart started beating fast. No...

His silence only brought you back to the time where you two had argued and he left without any warning.

“You’re... you’re not going to leave me, are you?” Immediately, you felt tears pooling at the edge of your eyes. You couldn’t handle his departure. Not again.

Yeonjun sensed your worry, reaching out to your hands and holding them gently. His thumb grazed the back of your hand with utmost love, and he was physically unable to look you in the eye. If he had a heart, it would definitely be breaking. Since Taehyun was his superior and coming directly from God Himself, that meant that him leaving would be permanent- in your lifetime at least, which meant that he would never get to kiss or hold you again.

“If I were to leave,” Yeonjun felt a warm, wet sensation uncontrollably trail down his cheek, “you would move on, right?”

“Yeonjun, what are you talking about?”

“I’m your guardian angel. We know that our whole relationship will be strange because I’ll never physically become old and you’ll keep aging. You deserve so much better than me- a normal human life with children and a normal husband in the future.”

You shook your head uncontrollably, stuttering as your throat went dry.

“What? If this is about you feeling insecure about our relationship, then I’m sure we can fix it!” You wiped his tears, feeling the warmth of his cheek against your cold, shaking hands. “We’re meant to be together. It’s different for you and me.”

He gave you a weak smile in return, his nose puffy and eyes red. “Yeah, we are.”

You couldn’t do anything else but just pull in your angel for a hug. He sniffed, his chest heaving as you held him tightly. Even if that bit reassured him, you still felt like something was off. Regardless, there was nothing you could do about it, making you feel utterly weak. The fact that there was something so incredibly wrong was enough to make you shed tears of your own to which Yeonjun noticed. 

His hand gently grabbed your chin as he tilted it up in order for you to look at him. His gaze was sincere and he pressed a soft kiss against your quivering lips.

“Hey, please don’t cry, angel. You know I hate seeing you cry.”

You only frowned even more, his words not enough to comfort you. You couldn’t control yourself from sobbing, barely holding yourself together to say that you were scared of him leaving again.

Yeonjun remained silent for a couple of seconds before regaining composure.

“Don’t cry,” he chuckled as his fingers ran through your hair. “It’d be hard to get rid of me. Not unless you decide you’re tired of me and you want a new guardian angel.”

“Never. I just want you, for the rest of my human life,” you laughed, not believing that you would ever get tired of him. He scrunched his face before giving you a wide grin. His body winced at telling you a lie, crushing his whole heart because he knew that loving you wasn’t enough to make him stay. 

You giggled with him, which made the room lighten a little bit. Just hearing Yeonjun laugh and smile at you a little bit made you feel a whole lot better. Though, it still didn’t make you feel safe completely. Yeonjun cooed, shushing you as you used his chest as a pillow. You snuggled in deeper, his presence enough to assure you that he wasn’t going anywhere.

He ran his fingers through your hair again before pressing a sweet kiss against your forehead.

“I love you, Y/N. You are the most beautiful thing that I have seen in my millennia of being around and nothing compares to you.”

You smiled at his words, slowly closing your eyes. There weren’t enough hours in the day and you eventually had to succumb to sleep which was easing your worries by distracting you.

“I love you too, Yeonjun. Please don’t ever go,” you sighed as you felt sleep pulling you slowly each second. Falling asleep in Yeonjun’s arms was too relaxing, coaxing you to a soundless slumber.

“I-I won’t,” Yeonjun gulped as he noticed you fighting to stay awake. He couldn’t help but feel the corners of his lips raise, despite how sadness was swallowing his every being. Being aware of his lie only crushed his heart more and he swore he could hear it cracking in his chest. There was no time left to keep holding you in his arms, as Taehyun would be there in a couple hours. But Yeonjun just held you tighter, feeling your arms become weaker by the second. His betrayal the next morning would destroy you- he knew- but he wanted his last hours with you to be as normal as they possibly could.

So he just held you in the silence of the night, getting angry at the world and himself for complaining in the first place. All because he doubted that a relationship with you could work, and it did; he just didn’t know it at the time. How foolish of him, which was funny enough because he was an angel and angels were supposed to be wise.

The hours were going by as Yeonjun’s tears fell on your head. Anytime now, Taehyun would be there, ready to collect him and make a complaint to God. And just on time, from the corner of Yeonjun’s eyes, he saw a shining, white light near the mirror. 

It was time.

Yeonjun looked at your relaxed body, wanting to remember this moment forever. The curve of your nose, the warmth of your cheeks, your lips slightly agape as you breathed deeply... The world fell at his shoulders as he realized that he would never hear your beautiful voice for a while. That didn’t hurt as much as knowing that he could never kiss you again. Never hold you again. Never be with you again as you and him intended it. He shut his eyes, unable to take the mental pain.

“I’m sorry, angel. I’m so sorry,” he sobbed as his wings emerged from his back. He could barely hold himself together as he flew to the window, glancing at you for the last time. Selfishly enough, he hoped that you wouldn’t forget him in your meager years of human life.

He whispered a quiet ‘I love you’ in your direction, before closing his eyes and shooting into the cruel night with his superior.

You awoke to a quiet morning, the sun filling through the room. Strangely enough, you woke up cold which hadn’t been often unless that meant that...

“Yeonjun?!”

You shot up, eyes glancing around the room to no avail. By now, Yeonjun would have flown in to check on you, but there was no reponse. Not here, in your bedroom. Not anywhere, actually.

You threw the covers off you, not caring that it would make a mess you’d eventually have to pick up. Soon the door swung open, clattering against the wall as you looked in every room. The floor creaked below your feet as your footsteps became stomps. Where could he be?

He wasn’t anywhere. 

“Yeonjun, please!” You cried, hoping that this was a practical joke he was playing. You walked in circles, running downstairs. 

“This isn’t funny!” You felt tears instantly gather in your eyes as you looked throughout the quiet house. The kitchen, the bathroom, the pantry. He wasn’t there. He was nowhere to be found. 

Your heart fell at his lack of response and it physically made you weak as you fell to the floor. You knew what happened, you knew that something was off and you knew that he knew he was leaving. Again.  

How could he?

You brought your shaking hand to quiet the helpless cries coming from your mouth. 

He said he wasn’t going to leave you just a couple hours ago.

He lied. 

Released: June 8, 2024 (11:30pm)

Thoughts: Hey, y’all. I definitely am not releasing this 2 years after the last part came out! Goodness, I have been swamped with work ever since school started, but I’m ready to finally close off this series. I’m sure a bunch of you forgot about this, but finishing this has been in the back of my mind. I’m not sure if I want to keep writing other stories but since I’m bored and feeling guilty, I wanted to see if I could finish this during the summer. I also wanted to get my mind off things (my ex and how single I am) so I wanted to release another part. I was also inspired since I saw TXT 2 days ago. They were amazing (as always), but yeahhhhh hope you guys enjoy this part. 

Tags:

[chaemphler]

Starborn pt1 - a first pass at writing a destiny love story

He wondered where they were going.

He had no clue. He simply sat in the back-seat, baby in his lap as she manoeuvred their way through the atmosphere. Through mountain ranges and over low underpasses; tresses of snow-capped valleys and swathes of static nimbi. Not that he had a perfect view; the ship was a two-seater, sure, but it was a linear two seater. Not a side-by-side pilot system, as that would be pointless for a guardian. Ghosts don't take up any space, and an wide ship doesn't have any advantages.

As clouds touched and shared their arc energy he felt the hair rise on the nape of his neck. He wasn't afraid; working in the tower had long since taught him that guardian ships where as sturdy as they were agile; capable of moves that would kill civilians and just as tough to boot. Guardian-rated fighters are made to handle the worst of the worst; the xeno and the dark, but in here she made it seem so safe.

Smoother than honey, fluid as silk. Her piloting had an almost laminar flow to it; conducting the orchestra of the ship's many systems through a calm and gentle stream of rising crests and banks as she brought us closer to our destination.

He still didn't know where they were going.

He supposed he would find out soon enough.

Lightning coursed through her eyes and sparks lanced between her hair and her chestplate, eyes turning to check on the bubba cooing in her husband's arms. The light in the arc energy must hav been resonating with her light, making it manifest outwardly he realised. She was completely unbothered, but it reminded him of just how powerful his wife was. Of course, the actual light caught the mother's instincts in plain sight on her face.

He supposed when you were a guardian, it was hard to come back and parent a baby. To swap from battle-born habits of twitchy, aggressive reactions to then try to be the exact opposite towards the one person they can't afford to treat wrong. Her saw her struggle, and he was going to let her figure it out.

She was going to have to if this was going to work.

Still, Mark appreciated the concern born from love in his wife's eyes as she took a moment to just make eyes to their baby. Guardian or not, this woman was so in love with this baby. Couldn't stop fawning over her.

Couldn't stop giving her all to this new one in her life.

He loved her for that.

He loved her as she brought the ship around the last of the path, if the map was to be believed. Over sets of mountain ranges and out to the desert. Due to the scouring of Earth during the fall, what were evince deserts far too hot or cold to ever be a pleasant stay, but not so much nowadays.

The drastic change in climate meant that the deserts where much warmer at night, as the traveller's work and subsequent destruction of Earth had messed with the equilibrium of the place.

"Landing now." Her ghost piped up, the little light bouncing into view as it prepared for transmat lock.

"When we transmat, close your eyes." She lowered the landing gear and flicked a few switches, preparing the final stages of a set down for her ghost to take over.

"Honey I don't like this, where are we?"

He knew he sounded tired, he knew he sounded distrusting, and to be fair, he was all these things. It had been a long few months.

She didn't respond immediately, but the tightening of her hand on the controls clued him in to her formulation for words.

"I wanted to spend some time away from the tower. I wanted to show you something" The ship came to a stop as the Hive-bane spoke without turning around.

"Please."

As the transmat began and all he saw was blue, he once again made his choice.

pt 2 soon ik it makes no sense i am working on it

[telestoapologist]

ok strap in i'm gonna go ham a little about these topics. under the cut bc this. uh. got longer than i wanted it to sldfghf

woooo okay yeah, this season has felt. a little bit weird regarding amanda at certain points (the being anti-darkness to the point of not trusting anyone who uses it thing being very specific, but I also don't know of any lore or past seasonal/DLC dialogue that covers how she's previously felt us tampering in it. have we just, never mentioned it to her that we've been using it for a few years now? do we still continue to not open up to her regarding the usage of strand? has Zavala never confided or spoken to her that we've been using it despite their closeness? or just, you know, in general?) like ok, i DO get apprehension because we've encountered enemies in the past who WIELDED the darkness, so it's like, she might not KNOW about it as much as we do, because she's never gotten that chance to cross the threshold like guardians have. she's only seen and experienced what it does in the wrong hands.

so uh, regarding her and crow. I'm actually not overly angry with her about how she's been treating him (especially since she's mentioned she HAS tried disassociating him with his former self, but it's hard). I think it's a rational way of acting considering how stubborn she is, as well as like, how CLOSE she was to cayde, and how forgiving the guy who killed someone who was like family to you is NOT going to be easy, even if he's someone else now. I think if she hadn't flat-out died, over time, she would've come to forgive crow, but not easily or quickly. her establishing that boundary between them and crow going out of his way to respect it after the transparency was incredibly important and good bc he was. uh. kind of forcing himself on her. not out of malice or anything, but because crow is. a needy and emotional guy for understandable reasons, plus that's just, you know, how he is. i get it, people have had to have that conversation with me in the past before and i don't consider them as jerks or horrible people for it, bc they're not, y'know?

crow taking several steps back and hopping into the seat of vengeance again is, honestly, understandable given how he is just full of love and is a passionate guy. sometimes we will repeat mistakes and relapse when facing a crisis or awful situation (i.e Zavala relapsing even though he had a good dose of therapy and reality in Haunted. it's sad, but these things happen a LOT). it's not US that's looking for vengeance, yeah, it's him, and he wants us to help because we're practically his closest friend, but we never openly said "yeah man sure, let's fucking go" like we openly did in forsaken. we KNOW at this point that vengeance is. NOT a good idea in this context, it's why we didn't really avenge rohan in the exact same sense as we did with cayde (that, and, well, we were barely close to rohan). this is where i'm gonna bring in my own personal beef with our guardian hardly ever fucking talking though, because like. it would HELP if we would also be transparent and communicate with other characters instead of only letting our ghost speak or just saying a few things every once and awhile.

personally? I don't know how I feel about amanda panda being res'd. is it possible given her sacrifice? well, yes, and I think it'd be a damn good heart punch considering she's always wanted her family to come back, but instead, it's her? but narratively speaking, idk! if she is, she is, and while she won't be alone, it might be a HUGE hump to get over, and I have no clue how they'd handle it. although if they only make it about her and crow again, i'm gonna be pissed.

Ok I think I've had enough time to like process everything properly.

Amanda dying sucks. For a variety of reasons. It genuinely sad that she won't be around anymore. We lost her, we lost a friend. There's a hole now.

But narratively her death sucks bc of how she was written this season. This entire season I've been annoyed by Amanda. Annoyed by how she was treating crow, annoyed by the fact she's apparently been living under a rock when it comes to the darkness, annoyed by how she's just been acting recently. Season of Defiance lore and story genuinely feels like we've taken a step backwards from where we were. On top of all that, we knew it was coming, we knew she was gonna die, so we had some time to prepare. Even then, her death doesn't really feel impactful? It really feels like it's just something that happened rather then a real hit.

I also just can't get myself to feel angry about it?? Like Crow is rearing up for vengeance Forsaken 2 electric boogaloo style. But it's war??? People die??? What's there to get revenge on??? We didn't "get revenge" for Rohan, we understood it was 1) war and 2) his choice. It's the same situation here. Her death is sad, it sucks. But she chose to sacrifice herself, its war.

[thefirstknife]

I'm in a desperate NEED for help cause I've recently developed an inconmensurable attachment for my boy Shin Malphur but I do not have A Single Clue regarding wHeRe to start reading about him! So if you'd recommend me some lore tabs I'd be more than grateful. It's completely understandable if for any reason you don't want to / can't, though. Drink your water and live your life!

Shin Malphur 👀 I like him :) There's also A LOT of lore about him, especially for someone who never appeared in the game.

First the most important is the lore about Dredgen Yor and Jaren Ward because that's what makes Shin. Dredgen Yor was the infamous Guardian turned Guardian-killer wielding the Light-consuming weapon of sorrow, Thorn. He was being hunted by Jaren Ward, a Hunter, who wanted to put an end to Yor's killing spree. In his hunt, Jaren found a young boy, Shin, and took him under his wing.

How Rezyl Azzir turned into Dredgen Yor: 1, 2, 3 Rise of Dredgen Yor: 1, 2, 3

When Jaren lost his duel to Dredgen Yor, Jaren's Ghost gave the Light to Shin, as well as giving him Jaren's signature weapon, The Last Word and then Shin continued the hunt for Yor.

About Shin's childhood, Jaren and Yor's defeat: 1, 2, 3, 4 Jaren's message to Shin attached to The Last Word

Shin ended up defeating Yor, but his hunt for rogue Guardians wasn't over. He founded the Shadows of Yor under a disguise to lure corrupt, rogue and overall bad Guardians to follow him so he can monitor them and kill them if he has to.

He also teamed up with the Drifter (who was a member of the Shadows of Yor for a while until he decided it wasn't for him) to create Gambit. Why? Well, at first, Shin was monitoring for rogue Guardians in the Crucible. Who is acting especially sadistic or cruel, who isn't complying by the rules, stuff like that. But the Crucible is where Guardians go to kill each other! A lot of people are going to act cruel. It wasn't the best way to make sure.

Therefore Gambit. A game where Guardians are given powers of Darkness to play with and are more susceptible to reveal themselves as corrupt (especially through the concept of invasions: Guardians who invade more often and for no reason are more likely to be tempted and corrupted).

Lore book about Shin's observations of Drifter (and coming up with the plan) Lore book about a lot of the stuff in regards to Shadows of Yor and other details, but most importantly Shin revealing that he was the one who founded it Lore book for us after we earn The Last Word (that details the whole plan about shutting down Shadows of Yor and weeding out those that were genuinely members because they were corrupted) Lore book for us again after Shin decides to retire

Shin is unique in many ways as a Guardian, given that he received someone else's Ghost as his Ghost and didn't have to die to get it. However, we do get a tiny hint as to why this was possible in Ghost Stories lore book: Confession of Hope Part One and Confession of Hope Part Two details a story about a Ghost that couldn't bear to see a family lose their baby (which died in a Fallen raid) and gave that baby its Light. That Ghost went on to die, and the baby's family died as well and the baby was adopted in the village called Palamon and was named Shin.

That's why Shin calls Jaren his "third father": the first was his biological father, the second was the one that adopted him in Palamon and Jaren was the third. Shin died as a baby and was resurrected by a Ghost which then later died. So Shin had the Light but not his original Ghost (which presumably allowed him to age normally). So later he gets adopted by Jaren's Ghost and didn't have to die for it because he already did die once before and already had the Light in him.

Also if you have an hour and a half to spare, most of this is told in a sort of cinematic way by Byf on youtube.

I hope this helps and that it isn't too confusing! It's a bit rough putting it all in vaguely chronological sense given that Destiny timeline is the way it is. But these are the most important lore mentions and lore books about him.

[hopeswriting]

What is future Hibari and Tsuna relationship? I noticed you talked extensively when it came to Mukuro and the potential tsuna could had have with him so like it made me curious what their bond both present and future is like?

Does he like him? Hate him or neutral lol? I genuinely was surprised it was Hibari he trusted with the go to plan in the future arc. I was like why? maybe the other guardians just could'nt push through or handled it and Hibari could.

hi nonny, thank you for the ask!

ha, good questions, all of them. i especially like how you asked if he even likes him, because yeah, that’s valid lol. but interestingly enough you could ask the same about tsuna too imo, but anyway, here’s my personal take on this.

as far as their present selves go (and i mean here daily life arc-future arc because there’s the only arcs i clearly have in mind right now), i think they’re pretty much neutral about each other, though they still have a dynamic of their own that isn’t any less personal than the ones tsuna has with the other guardians. i actually think i’d even say their dynamic is one of the most personal among the 10th gen, because when hibari meets tsuna? when tsuna’s able to land a punch on him and then holds his ground against him under dying will mode? he rocks hibari’s entire world (which is funny because it’s also what he does with mukuro’s haha).

so the thing is, hibari probably hadn’t a single clue who tsuna was before that accident, because weak people don’t make it on his radar and aren’t worth his attention in any way, shape or form, unless they’re breaking his rules. and it’s interesting to note too he says to tsuna he hit gokudera and yamamoto so they wouldn’t wake up anytime soon, but meanwhile tsuna pretty much wakes up right away, which tells us that at first glance hibari yet again dismissed tsuna as so weak, he didn’t even need to make him properly pass out to remove the “threat” he clearly didn’t see him as.

and yet tsuna is the one to hold his ground against him, and it’s hibari’s view of the world with the strong on one side and the weak on the other, with a perfect, uncrossable line between the two that shatters right then and there, because tsuna is both. which frustrates him to no end and doesn’t make any sense to him like he says himself in another chapter of the daily life arc, because presumably that view of the world never failed him before. and it’s also one he himself proves to himself every day it’s not wrong at the very least, being among the strongest and undoubtedly ruling over the weak because of it whether they like it or not.

but though that all happens during their first meeting, it only really takes root in hibari’s mind during the kokuyo arc when the manga leaves its gag genre behind. during the kokuyo arc where hibari loses and tsuna saves the day, and not only that but he saves it because he was supported by his friends all along, because they were there for him and helped him with it (hibari included, though of course that was never his intention lol), and we all know what hibari thinks about it. we all know it’s not something he called strength by that point, and yet.

and of course hibari gets to have his revenge on mukuro in a way and win against him using his strength and his alone, but mukuro keeps standing while he passes out, and mukuro had still cards to play which would have won against hibari if he could have used them against him too. and to begin with, hibari only could have a chance at round two because tsuna & co showed up and lent him a hand, so strength as he used to define it up until that point, as he embodied it was clearly not what saved the day against mukuro and helped keep his important things safe.

so for hibari tsuna is this anomaly he’s trying to figure out, to make sense of so to fit him in his view of the world he’s picking up the pieces of and putting back together in a new shape. because it can’t not take on a new shape when tsuna’s just out there existing the way he is. (it stays and will stay the same though, because that’s the whole point of hibari kyoya, but also different, because again, it can’t not be different. so it stays the same but just slightly to the left, just more flexible and including, is the way i’d put it.)

and i said they feel neutral about each other, but like i said hibari is actually frustrated by him, but he’s so much more curious about him too, and i’d even say imo fascinated by him. invested in him. because any type of strength obviously attracts him like a moth to a flame, even if he can’t help but be irritated by said strength because it forces him to question every thing he thought he knew, and everything he thought was set in stone and was the truth without a shadow of a doubt. so not only he’s trying to figure out tsuna and what to make of him when it comes to the way he sees the world, but he also comes to acknowledge him as neither weak nor strong, to acknowledge his strength isn’t any less valid than his own, but also comes to support that strength and respect it and want to see it grow to its full potential.

like during the varia arc he explicitly says he’ll stand back for a bit if it can help tsuna find his fangs or something, and of course it’s about tsuna, but he’s not doing it for him. it’s just that the clearer tsuna shows his strength to the world, the easier hibari can have a clear grasp of it to know what to do with it, and it’s an obvious admission and proof of everything i said above.

meanwhile for tsuna hibari is, well, fear lol, but that’s the same for most of namimori students too so it doesn’t mean much, and anyway it’s pretty much only used as a running gag. and hibari is also strength for all namimori students too, but it means something different when it comes to tsuna, means something more. because for him hibari is unyielding, invincible strength, and it’s probably something tsuna wished more than once he could be too during his years of bullying, and something he thought he could never become early in the manga, and yet to have hibari on his side? or as close as he could ever get? to have him help him in his times of need, whatever hibari’s saying he’s actually doing instead? to be acknowledged by him? it must also have, in fact, rocked his entire world too.

and okay, idk if i’m going to be able to words my thoughts in an understandable manner here, but it’s like. tsuna’s other guardians rely on him, and of course they help him push through and are here for him too whenever he needs it, but at the end of the day he’s the boss, or is forced to be anyway, so they let him call the shots and follow his lead.

hibari though? he also of course ends up doing what everyone else is doing when shit hits the fan because of plot lol, but it never has anything to do with tsuna. he just does it for his own reasons while pursuing his own goals, which just so happens to mean they’re all working towards the same objective, but unlike the other guardians hibari is entirely autonomous from tsuna, which makes him in an equal amount a source of comfort and relief and strength for tsuna all at the same time.

it’s the way tsuna always breathes easier and relaxes and grows more confident when someone brings up hibari, the way he always go “oh thank god hibari’s here/well if it’s hibari i guess i don’t have to worry as much”. it’s the way he can rely on him for a change, can let him bear a bit of the burden guilt-free and without worrying he won’t push through, because of course hibari will push through. unscathed too. because he’s the strongest person tsuna knows, and it probably don’t even ever occur to him to consider that his strength might fail him one of these days. (he does worry about him all the same though, because that’s just what he does and he cares about him too, but like, it’s not the same type of worry as with his other guardians, you know? it’s never “i’m not sure if he’ll be able to push through this”, but “i don’t like that he has to push through this”.)

so for tsuna hibari is that one constancy he knows and trusts will never fail him that keeps the ground under his feet steady when his legs shake, and that makes his shoulders lighter when the weight on them threatens to make him crumble under it. he’s the one constancy that lets him know he can make mistakes when it comes to him and not have that mean much if anything at all, and for no good tsuna who was bullied for years because of it, it of course means the world for him. hibari’s that one constancy that lets him move forwards because hibari’s there and also moving forwards, because he’s telling him he can still keep moving forwards too, and if hibari’s there then surely one way or another they’ll make it through this. and actually now you gave me the opportunity to word my thoughts on this, i think they have the most equal dynamic among the guardians too, and are the closest to each other’s in that way because they see the other for exactly who the other is, which i find super interesting.

it’s also super interesting that all of this happens one-sidedly for both of them too. like, you’ll notice they actually rarely interact with each other during those fourth arcs because their dynamics run parallel to each other’s, and never really cross paths, let alone entangle with each other’s like with gokudera or yamamoto for example. like, i firmly believe they have no idea they mean all of this to the other, which is also super funny to think about lol. they just happen to exist, and happened to cross path with each other’s, and it just so happened the way they exist meant they both had to adjust the way they were seeing the world up until then.

but of course their dynamics still interact with each other’s too, shape each other’s and make them both grow better for it. because for hibari it expands his world’s view, and makes him notice people who are worth of his notice he’d have 100% dismissed without a second thought before. it also broadens his definition of strength, making it a more accurate one while reaffirming the definition he had of it originally, and it makes him more secure in it, letting him grow ever stronger.

and for tsuna knowing there’s someone he can fall back on when things get too much, someone who’ll finish the work for him if he can’t make everything right again by himself, someone he can rely on and maybe who’ll even let him follow his lead if he needs it, lets him grow in his very new strength of his at his own pace, or as much as he’s allowed to do it at his own pace.

(and post-future arc their dynamics don’t run strictly parallel from each other’s anymore, i’m thinking namely when hibari explicitly uses his fight against adel to help tsuna find what his pride is, but like i said i can’t talk much about the manga post-future arc because i remember little of it lol.)

as for their future selves, we can of course only speculate on their relationship because we were given little on it, but i do like to think they come to like each other at some point during those ten years, yeah. and personally i’ve actually always loved that hibari is the one tsuna told about the plan, because for me it’s such a loud statement of how far they’ve come and the trust they’ve built between them.

but actually my friend @ chierry answered this exact question about why tsuna chose to make hibari part of the plan among his guardians, and i agree with everything they said, so yeah, that’s why. basically hibari was just perfectly checking all the boxes for the role, both when it comes to the pragmatism side of things, but also the emotional side of things. and i want to talk about the emotional side for a bit, because when i say hibari is the epitome of strength for tsuna, i don’t only mean physical strength by no means. hibari is strength for him full stop, the strongest, and i love that even ten years later it’s still the one truth tsuna knows about him beyond a shadow of a doubt. that he went “who do i trust the most to bear the burden of this plan while taking the least damages?”, and still, hibari probably popped up first in his mind.

i also want to talk about point seven of her post, because yeah, hibari is part of the guardians just as much as the others, but just not in the same way!! and like i said it’s super valid to ask yourself if he even likes any of those people lol, but it’s like. because of his respective dynamic with tsuna and his role as a guardian, he has to be outside the guardians’ circle. and he still belongs to it just as much as any other guardians, but just from outside. and at first glance it can just appear like he doesn’t care about them and doesn’t want to be near them if he can help it at all lol, but i really think he couldn’t have brought to the table what he does if he was made to be just as close to tsuna as the others. wait, no, i worded that wrong. he couldn’t have brought to the table what he does if he was made to be just as close to tsuna in the same way as the others, so i for one am glad amano wrote it like that.

so not only i firmly believe they come to like each other at some point, but i also don’t think at all there’s ever been hate between them at any point at all. though granted tyl!hibari was brutal and ruthless with present!tsuna, but that was obviously because of the circumstances, and he actually eases up on his hostility after first taking it out on him during the vongola trial (and presumably during their training sessions after that too. and also i’m not saying it was right for him to take it out on present!tsuna at all though, don’t get me wrong lol.). and even then he was still helping him through it all, so.

and because you asked specifically about their future relationship and i mostly talked about their present one lol (sorry), to answer you, for me hibari is--idk if there’s like, an official word for that? but hibari is like, the one tsuna turns to when shit just needs to be done, and there’s just no pretty way to do it. he’s the one he turns to when shit really hits the fan, and he needs someone to look him straight in the eyes and tell him if he’s getting shit done the way he’s supposed to, or to start getting it done if he isn’t already doing it because it has to be done, all the while never sugarcoating any of it and never once underestimating or overestimating what he can do about it, because he sees him just the way he is. because they see each other as equal. and of course he’s also the one tsuna turns to when shit hits the fan, and he needs someone to shoulder the storm with him while standing right next to him, and not even if only half a step behind.

update because i forgot lol: and when it comes to hibari he sees tsuna pretty much the same as when they were kids too! tsuna is that one person who reminds him that strength is more than what meets the eye, that it isn’t only about your ability to fight and win fight, and that it can take many forms that won’t necessarily have anything to do with physical strength. and by being that constant reminder he anchors hibari and stops him to ever become--well, idk, too full of himself i guess lol? tsuna reminds him to keep his strength humble and to not underestimate his opponents no matter how “weak” they may appear at first glance, which lets him safely grow ever stronger.

and actually, bringing up mukuro again real quick, but both mukuro and hibari ground tsuna and keep him in check in their own way as he wrestles with being mafia and being the leader of it. in opposite way, in fact. mukuro makes sure he won’t become too much mafia as he’s trying to change it, while hibari makes sure he won’t forget he’s only tsuna first and foremost, and that it has value too he should protect and keep safe. if that just made sense to anyone but me? sorry if it didn’t lol, but yeah, in any case that’s what i think of hibari’s and tsuna’s dynamic, both present and future!

also not really relevant, but likely giving you more of an idea of where i come from with this post, and making some of the things i said here clearer, but here’s my thoughts on hibari too.

and here’s a meta on hibari from @ any-n-everything that’s very interesting and relevant to some of the things i said here too!

[ellitx]

In honor of Father's Day, could we get some headcanons of the twins (separately) as parents?

Venti as a Father:

It would be really chaotic and a mess when it’s him watching over the kids

Just feeding them and bringing the spoon to their mouth like an airplane, and if one of his children happens to playfully throw the food to his face, it’ll be a food fight.

Of course, it didn’t last long when you entered the room and you see everything is so cluttered and dirty.

Venti can be strict with them if he has to but most of the time he’s carefree and lively with them. Often going outside to play, gliding, and maybe just a leisurely family time with you, him, and the children.

He’s not really restricting them but if they wanna play outside they have to ask his permission first so he’ll know where they are or so that he can watch over them

Venti likes it if his kids ask him to carry them! He’ll carry them on his shoulders so they can see the beautiful view of Mondstadt's scenery!

Or if he’s laying on your lap and they’re asking to be carried, he’ll lift them up and act like they’re flying in the sky. He’ll use his vision to make it really breezy so they can feel what it’s like to soar in the air.

When it’s time for dinner, he has to call for them. But the problem is they’re so mischievous that they even hide from him. It’s easy to find them but for the sake of entertaining them, he pretends he doesn’t have a single clue as to where they are.

“Now where’s my little sweetie hiding again? Looks like Detective Venti is starting another case of Disappearing Angel.” He takes his cape and flips them in the air for a dramatic effect and boy does he hear that stifled laugh behind the sofa.

He takes out his lyre and starts singing about the clues he had gathered and for suspense, he stopped strumming his instrument and stood still. Their kid covered their mouth to quiet themselves and it was unfortunate for them they didn’t notice their father was already behind them.

Venti’s hands slipped underneath them and hoisted them to his shoulder causing them to shriek and wiggle around while giggling.

“Papa, that’s unfair!!”

“Another point for Detective Venti~”

Aside from playing detectives, he’s pretty much dramatic around them if they’re playing house or prince and princess together.

“Oh, sweet child of mine, call the fairest maiden for I, Venti the Most Handsome, Charming, Powerful, and Talented Bard has fallen down because of the great dark dragon’s compelling attack.”

Your child first thought of you, immediately rushing to where you are and tugging at your sleeves.

“Mama! Mama! Help Papa come back alive! He said the only way to regain his powers is that you have to kiss him!”

You choked at your own spit, your face burning hot hearing another ridiculous idea venti started for you to kiss him. You didn’t want to disappoint them so you obliged and followed them to the living room.

There you saw venti laying down, his hands on his chest with his eyes closed, and sure you’d mistaken him as some kind of princess if not for your daughter asking you to help him.

Clearing your throat and readying yourself in acting mode, you kneeled down beside him and clasped his hands with yours.

“Oh, my darling Venti. All your power has been drained, the energy within you has been stolen by the greatest and fearful creature that has been ever lived. But fear not, for I have come to aid you by… by caressing you with a true love’s kiss.”

You slowly leaned forward and ran your finger on his face before closing your eyes until his lips brushed with yours. The tips of your ears were turning red when your child awed and watched closely, and for sure you felt your husband’s lips tugging upwards. His hand reached up behind you to hold you close to him and let the kiss last longer.

His eyelids flutter open, revealing the marvelous emerald orbs he has that were the same as your little angel, and he turned at you with clouded eyes, his cheeks beginning to tint with warm red.

“…more…”

Before he could latch his lips with yours once more, your child jumped at his back and cried,

“You’re alive! You’re finally alive! Quick, defeat the dark dragon before it destroys the castle!”

Venti almost forgot he was playing with them. All of a sudden, you felt your feet weren't on the ground anymore and in instinct, you held onto his shoulder and gaped at him. Venti's arm was underneath your bottom, carrying with such ease as if your weight was as light as a feather.

“Of course, my dear! Now that my power has been replenished thanks to this lovely maiden, I can finally stop the dragon’s outrage through the power of wind and freedom!”

His right hand glowed, unleashing a gentle yet powerful wind to knock down the mini dvalin stuffed toy that was standing in front of the blocks. The toy’s balance was gone, causing it to fall onto the ground as a sign the enemy’s disturbance was no longer present. Peace, harmony, and freedom were settled back to the small kingdom you, your child, and your husband had created.

Himmel as a father:

Himmel’s a househusband! Due to his frail body, he’s more inclined to work inside the house which he doesn’t mind. So all the cooking, cleaning, laundry is handled by him.

Househusband Himmel doesn’t really mind at all! In fact, he really enjoys it because he gets to watch over his kyut litol beybis playing around the house and spend time with them!

He knows you’re already home when he hears his babies screaming “MAMA!!”, it’s either a playful chase with his children on who gets to hug you first or he let them hug you first before he kisses you as a greeting of welcome home.

Whenever he goes to the grocery, he brings his children with him and they’re in the twin stroller. Everything is prepared; the pacifiers and two bottles of milk, and perhaps some extra diapers in case the line is too long and they need a bathroom break.

Himmel always takes a morning stroll and he also brings his babies with him so they can get that vitamin from the sunlight for them to be healthy. Don’t want them to risk being so unhealthy when they grow up now do we?

Maybe after the stroll, he stops in a nearby park to rest, maybe even allowing them to have some fun as long as they’re in his sight. Himmel will start planning on having a picnic time as family bonding on weekends so you can also take a break as well as you can get in touch with your own kids

While at home, carrying his two kids in his arms is no biggie for him. He can even multitask with it, though he prefers if they are in the crib just in case he doesn’t accidentally step on some toys and slip while carrying them.

He loves holding them and carrying them with him after he finishes the household chores! He’ll play with them, shower them with kisses, keep on telling them how much papa loves them and how he’s so happy they’re part of his life. When they run out of milk, he has to take the new supply you’ve readied in the refrigerator.

The babies will crawl up to him, stretching out their short arms towards their father because they wanted to be carried. Himmel chuckles then picks them up before making their drink. He hums a song while warming the milk and leaves small kisses on their head and nuzzles his nose against it as he waits

His little ball of sunshine is full of energy so he can be quick to get exhausted, but he’s trying his best to stay awake to make sure nothing dangerous happens to them. he lets them crawl up to him and play with his hair and when they also get sleepy and clings to him, it brings a smile to his face and holds them close to his chest protectively before laying them back down in the crib

Himmel may have taught them many things, from a simple reading, talking/cooing, walking, and maybe even singing. He has bought many things that can help them like rattles, squeeze toys, picture books, and also some stuffed toys they can play with.

Over the months, he’ll buy different toys for them so they can start the process of learning simple stuff like ABC blocks and even more plushies.

His kids love it when he sings or reads them a bedtime story. If you’re free, you and Himmel will reenact the story to maybe entertain them, and oh their cute little smiles and giggles tug their parents’ hearts.

Once they reach the age of three, Himmel is so excited for them that they can meet new friends. It’s the start of their preschool and he prepared everything. Now he’s the type of father who’ll take a picture of them every single year and some memorable moments to be added in the album

After school, he’s there to pick them up with you. All the mothers were gawking when he was standing near the door and looking for his cute babies. Perhaps he’s a brother to pick his siblings up?

Lol nope

Their jaws dropped when they heard a scream of papa from the running children. He opened his arms and caught them easily as they jumped at him for a hug. The mothers/guardians can’t believe Himmel's a father. Such a youthful face he has and having two children?!

He gives them a kiss on their forehead and asks how their day went. When he told them that mama was waiting outside, the twins immediately left their father’s side and ran out of the school to see you there smiling and waving.

“Mama!! Look, look, my teacher gave me a stamp that I did well!”

“I have five stars on my booklet!!”

Your eyes sparkled at their wonderful achievements and patted their head. Himmel stood next to you and smiled, admiring the wonderful warm feeling in his heart to see this growing family.

Kneeling before one of his kids, he whispered something next to them causing them to gasp out and looked at you with big curious eyes.

“I’m going to be a big sister/brother?!!”

You look at your husband with an astonished face and pout before playfully shoving his shoulder.

“That was supposed to be a surprise!” You whined. Himmel laughed and pecked your lips, whispering “I can’t help it,” before taking the hands of his child then yours. You take the other twin’s small hand and walked side-by-side with your husband and children back home

[buddiebeginz]

I know everyone is worried that the episode switch means that the hostage situation won’t be as important for Buddie as we thought but I don’t see how that could happen.

For one thing like some have speculated the hostage situation may not even happen in episode 6 or 7 it could be episode 8 or 9. I have a feeling whichever episode that it’s happening in the show is trying hard to keep that moment quiet precisely because it’s going to be important to two characters the show knows are fan favorites. Like when the shooting happened in 4x13 we knew that a shooting was happening but we had no way of knowing just how epic of a moment that was going to be for Buddie and I think the hostage situation is going to play out in a similar way.

I just don’t see how, given everything that’s happened from the end of season 4 up to this point that a hostage situation with these two could happen and mean nothing. They could have involved any other characters in a scene like this but they’re choosing for it to be Eddie as the one taken hostage and for Buck to be the one screaming for him (from what we can tell from the bts video). Why have them go through something super traumatic like this with a gun when we just had that happen at the end of season 4? Unless it means something. 

There’s been a lot of clues in season 5 that the show isn’t done talking about what happened at the end of season 4 and that Buddie is going canon. And as some have pointed out this is how 911 tends to operate. They don’t rush through storylines that are important. If it’s mental health stuff related to trauma they tend to wait and let it come up slowly (the way trauma often does) like with Bobby or Chim after his accident. It feels like every episode in season 5 the show is giving us clues that they’re leading towards something with Buck and Eddie. Leading towards them finally confronting what happened during the shooting and leading towards why they haven’t really talked about it. Because to talk about it would mean being honest about how they felt that day. How Eddie reached for Buck and how Buck couldn’t even function at the idea of loosing Eddie.

I know a lot of people are afraid to put faith in the show and think that Buddie won’t happen and I felt that way too for a while but that changed when I saw how the end of season 4 played out. For me Eddie making Buck Chris’ legal guardian (in his will) was a turning point in their relationship and for the show in how they’ve handled Buck and Eddie. It wasn’t just the fact of Eddie doing that either it was how the whole scene was framed. If Eddie had told Buck when other people were around like Ana or some of the 118 I might have felt differently about it all but the scene was framed like a confession. Like Eddie was trying in some way to tell Buck how much he means to him. He was saying to Buck I trust you with my heart.

If that scene hadn’t happened I think going into season 5 I would have been a lot more cautious about expecting anything for Buddie at the very least I wouldn’t have been assuming they were going to go canon. I’ve been hurt by my expectations of shows before and I know better than to get my hopes up too high but I think for 911 at this time in the show being excited for Buddie makes sense. The end of season 4 felt to me like the shows way of of setting up where we’ve been seeing things go in season 5 thus far. I think we just have to be patient and let the rest continue to play out.

I’m not sure how the order of things this season is going to go now that they’re switching things around but if we do get the hostage scene in 5x06 and the guy buried alive in 5x07 it could be at least in part so that the show can further drive home Buck and Eddie’s shared trauma. Like maybe what will happen is we get the hostage situation and we see Buck run to Eddie and they’ll hold each other and share a look but we won’t get much more than that from 5x06. Then in 5x07 Buck will have to help rescue a man in a grave and it will make him think of Eddie and everything that’s happened. Like the shooting, Eddie almost dying in that well, the hostage situation and he’ll have to deal with those feelings. He’ll have to face how scared he is of loosing Eddie.

No matter how all this plays out and in what order I think at some point this season we will get Buck and Eddie talking about the shooting. I also think we will get some kind of confirmation of their feelings for each other by the end of this season, it feels like that’s where the show is saying they’re taking them. Like it’s not just our over thinking, over analyzing, fandom brain seeing what we want to see, from a story telling perspective I can’t see where else they would going.

If they weren’t putting them together they easily could have had Eddie and Ana stay together and had Eddie’s panic attacks be because of the shooting. Same thing with Buck and Taylor. It feels like the show is saying they’re not going to last long, they keep telling us that Buck isn’t really happy in that relationship. More than any other season before it feels like Buck and Eddie are connected and involved in each other’s lives. Like the show putting all that focus on Buck when it came to Eddie’s panic attacks and Ana. Or the show giving us a scene of Eddie gently giving Buck advice and the immediate episode after showing us Taylor telling Buck not to make everything about himself. These aren’t coincidences their deliberate storytelling choices that are leading us somewhere.

I know some could make the argument that we’ve seen a lot of Buddie scenes in earlier seasons and they never went canon but I don’t think it was ever as deliberate as it is now. I don’t think the show was committed to Buddie as a couple in previous seasons. I’m not sure what changed but it feels like something did and like I said I think the end of season 4 was where we really saw that.

I don’t think we need to worry about what will happen with the hostage episode because I think it’s going to be amazing and angsty and maybe it will even surpass the shooting episode in how many gifs are made of it. But no matter what happens I think this is all leading somewhere and that’s the important thing. Even if we get the hostage situation in 5x06 and we don’t see Buck and Eddie talking much about it then I think we will later. For now let’s just be excited we’re getting this episode sooner than expected.

[simmonsized]

Hehe it’s okay, I expected that to happen since it just came out.

Anyway, wanna give us a Bro Strider relationship status update with people he has interacted with so far in this fic?

(WARNING FROM FUTURE ME: this post is VERY long. I'm SO sorry.)

LFKSFJ:IJF:OWIJW:O THE WAY YOU HAVE WORDED THIS IS SO FUNNY

i honesty don't know where to start with this guy LOL ummmm i will be honest we could be here literally all day. it's kind of hard to get into the idea of explaining this without stating exactly how far we've come but it really has come from "my god if only i could be alone for five fucking years wow what a world" to "my god if only i could be alone for five fucking seconds jesus christ" SO. not that much of an improvement but. an improvement!

i'm going to do this in bullet points slap-dashed real quick and dirty like bc there are SO many of them (<- second note from future me this was my hubris talking) (ps i got bro meta all mixed up in there i'm so sorry)

PREFACE: i think a lot of what comes across as "gentle" early bro strider stems from like, well u know all the fucked up shit with his soul, kind of slowly reanimating from Machine to Human Again, Dirk Strider (Bro Strider) with a Purpose, a single-minded idea of how things Have to Be, to a place where "i shouldn't be here i was supposed to be done and now i'm not sure how to proceed"

not to quote my own fic but this is a lot of our starting point:

"Your technique was a major shit show.” “Yeah, I’m starting to realize that now.” “Kinda surprising you didn’t realize it sooner.” It’s not, really. “Yeah, I--” He cuts himself off and you tense up, watch the lines of his shoulders for movement. “I don’t know.”

The point here was never, "Bro Strider is an Irredeemable Monster", but it was also never going to be "Bro Strider feels bad about what he did" because to start, he most definitely fucking doesn't. LOL. I think he saw the way he raised Dave as a necessity, and that it was the most logical path to follow, and that it never mattered if either of them liked it (i don't think bro liked much of anything back then, except for puppets lmao) because it was the path of least resistance with the highest likelihood for success. (I will not get into the way homestuck sets us up like it's a master-apprentice anime joke only to shit on people about it later, because i already made that whole post abt bro and dave and shit u know.) I see him very much the way we see early Dirk Strider, before his disaster with Jake, back when he really thought that pushing his friends to be their "Best Selves" was doing them a favor. Take that as you will.

From here we see Bro change from Before (purpose) to After (lack of purpose, no sense of self) and this influenced a lot of the way i ended up writing him. Which! basically he starts defaulting to how he raised Dave before training because he has. Absolutely no fucking clue how to handle Dave now that they're not strifing anymore, now that there's no game to train for. (Bro would rather he was not anything, anymore but. we won't get into that.)

ANYWAY

Dave(no-longer-a-sprite): a lot of their relationships started as ultra guilt-based on both ends. not from the past, but really just centering the part both of them played in Bro's death. i know we don't have canon proof of bro dying for davesprite but it's my world and i say he did bc it rly does make a weird amount of sense and follows my Guardian's Obligation to Keep Their Player Alive at All Costs. yes even doomed offshoots of their kid. ANYWAY. the two of them have benefited (yikes) from Dave's struggle with depression and his desperation not to let Bro's death be his fault (even though obviously it wasn't) and just their mutually weird "i was supposed to die but now i'm here. what do i do?" Dave didn't have the same revelation as Dave about all his shit with Bro, and he never had an outlet. He just internalized. But this also leads to our first apology! wow so early on and yet there are 50+ chapters that trail after it. It's almost like I believe that saying sorry is the first step or something! Basically their relationship went from revolving around death and a lack of purpose to the first kind of tentative, actual attempt at something of a familial relationship. I can't call Dave a trial run, because that's not fair, nor is it accurate, but Dave(sprite) is a more forgiving figure due to his isolation, and is more likely (not good) to forgive Bro his slip-ups than the other Dave. Also Dave says some alarming ass shit to him and I think that was probably something of a wake-up call for him, like a call to arms or somethin'. Basically, they are trying their best. Or I think they are! :)

Dave (not a sprite and never has been, this is why we call them apple and orange fellas): His relationship takes more effort and more time. Dave has a relationship with Dirk now, that is more positive than whatever he had with Bro (obviously) and it's not like he doesn't NEED Bro, because fuckssake they're still kids (you left a good ask about this but i forgot to answer because i'm a mess) and they need guardians but they're like. These two are the EPITOME of the concept of "you can love someone and want a relationship with them even if they hurt you so bad you can never forgive them." That is their baseline. It permeates every interaction. Dave is almost never not thinking about who Bro used to be, versus the way he's changed. He's jealous of Dave(sprite, for simplicity), he's jealous of Dirk, he's jealous of Old Dave, but he doesn't know how to ask for... whatever it is he wants! Not to mention Dave now has his own personal experience with Bro dying right in front of him, or preventing his death (sort of twice, i s'pose) and having a direct hand in that gave him a weird kind of catharsis, some kind of choice he never got to make as a thirteen-year old (and wouldn't have, anyway, as he confesses at some point). They are genuinely working some shit out. I just think it'll take more time.

Mom: Wow! His best friend from a past life where he was cruel and awful but also at one point may have had feelings and emotions and could have been a person but never so much as he wanted to be, and he's definitely jealous of her, and he also knows that she is imperfect, the same way all guardians tend towards a lack of perfection, but they balance each other out. They are both what I would call "opposite sides of the extreme" if u know what I mean. He is the most comfortable with her because he does not have to pretend, and does not have to be gentle, and she will take his shit because she wants to, and he doesn't want her to, but he can sort of.... She is the first person Bro Strider trusts again, I think. Or he wants to. I think he's just now starting to realize that maybe it's not all bullshit, when people believe in him.

Nanna Egbert (and Hass I spose): Resentment for a life that he was always supposed to leave vs the first adult who ever showed him kindness vs growing up mean and crooked vs the way that she forgives, so so easily, too easily. But he wants her to be proud of him but no he doesn't but yes he does. He would probably bend over backwards for Nanna to make her smile. He would also let Hass put him in a chokehold but only as long as it would take to fucking suplex him into a table. He would never admit to these residual attachments because they are all mixed up in who he used to be, and he doesn't know yet how to separate them from who he is trying to be now.

Dirk: I am not getting into my dirk vs bro vs dirk meta but it went from: This is just me and he is not a real person because he's me so who cares what i say to him -> He is me but now i see that he is also a person who reflects who i used to be and i don't like that -> i'm embarrassed -> I understand him and he understands me to a point and i REALLY don't like that -> beginning to see Dirk as his own person mixed up with "sometimes he's Dirk, sometimes he's you". Dirk meta. we could go all day.

Rose: I already made a whole post about Bro and Rose LOL. Rose wants something from Bro. Bro feels obligated because she's related to Roxy, but it's also maybe the first outside relationship where someone knows who he is from the start and still... appears to want to know him?

Roxy: Mom Lalonde Jr. Feels weirdly comfortable with her. Or at least less likely to snap at her. Thinks she's funny. Doesn't really know how to deal with kids sometimes but he tries, with her. She's kind of the only one (outside of u know).

Alpha Rose: Absolutely Not.

The other Guardians: Amused but tolerant. Annoyed but intrigued. Willing to put up with their bullshit from a sense of obligation he cannot explain and that frustrates him (it's just because they remind him of Nanna and Hass, he swears)

Alpha Dave (flavor: Pacific Cooler): Wow. We could be here for LITERALLY all day. No one has asked for my Bro vs Alpha Dave meta. I'd rather not get into it but alpha Dave was built as a reflection of Dave's worst traits but also as more of a direct parallel to Bro. They understand each other. They don't want to understand each other. Bro has basically gone from "wow who the FUCK is this douchebag it has been so long since i have met another adult who would probably kill someone without blinking" to "i guess he's okay." That is where we are, and doesn't that speak a thousand words.

Hal: It is not Hal's fault that their first interaction went so poorly. I know we don't talk about Cal as a juju but man fucked up ARquiussprite was all mixed up in there right. What the fuck. ANYWAY i think he has reached exasperation on a Dirkesian level with Hal, but also perhaps the beginnings of "oh he's a kid" and thus we have. Gestures to all of the black text in the new chapter. Bro thinks of himself as so far removed from the identity of "Dirk Strider" that he sometimes makes decisions other people would find "bad" and "not very good". Still, Hal is a kid. He knows Hal is a kid. He can kind of tell he's a lonely kid, even if he won't admit it (because Bro was a lonely kid, once upon a time.) I think he thinks Hal is annoying. Has no qualms about blocking him without a second thought. But he won't stop him from pestering him, either! :)

THIS IS UM. TOO LONG?????????????????? This is all i can think of i am sure i am missing someone but fuck me what a cast am i right.

[clearlymiraculous]

what the heck was wishmaker (swears ahead)

Ok so I've been hit with the double whammy of the two hilarious trainwrecks that were Crocoduel and Wishmaker... as the more ridiculous of the two, lets talk about Wishmaker. please keep in mind that I literally just watched the episode and I have nothing clever to say this is really just a rant

Firstly... the knowledge that these kids will graduate and move onto lycee? in MY Miraculous Ladybug? (it's more likely than you think). But the sudden "hey, you guys are now mid-teens, time to make choices that will affect the rest of your life" honestly hit different. Suddenly it felt like a real school, with real students that had different goals. If only they, you know, showed us this crap.

Take Marinette, for example. Because, you know, she's the main character. I love how that she's such a feminist icon, that she's gotta choose between her love of fashion, Adrien, her love of design, Adrien, her dual role of Ladybug and the Guardian, and... I guess her love for Adrien? I mean, those are the main things that give her life joy and meaning and will help her choose a career.

I hope you understand that I am so fucking angry that they had to bring Adrien into this, because if anyone in that writers room actually cared about being a good influence on young girls, ADRIEN WOULD NOT BE A PART OF THIS CONVERSATION. Yes, love and being loved is important to individual happiness. We as social creatures thrive on love. But to reduce Marinette, who is supposed to be so capable and able to handle herself, to a girl with a crush, is so demeaning!!! Her value is suddenly being determined over whether or not her love is returned by a boy! What lesson is she supposed to be learning here?!?!

Adrien, by comparison, has a much more poignant conversation with Plagg over what he wants to do in life - he's always modelled, but he's now self aware enough to realise that there are other options and that he doesn't know where to go. As a cusp gen Y/Z (1995), I have never related more to a feeling like that in my life. With the rise of social media came an influx of jobs that didn't even exist when I graduated high school. Influencers did not exist, YouTubers were just beginning to flourish. I still have no clue of the specific path I want to walk down, just a few half baked ideas. Not once do we need to think about who he's in love with. Ladybug factors into the conversation, yes, but it's over his use as a hero. His unrequited love doesn't come up. What's with the double standards here?!?!

Now to the hilarity of the episode - Alec Cataldi. Until now he's just been the host of every show in Paris that isn't the news. Sure, he'd give a friendly roast every now and then, but this time around he's woken up and chosen violence... by telling people at the job fair that their jobs are pointless? The weird thing is that the selection of jobs you actually see seem to be more based on niche art and crafting. These are jobs based on the specific love of the craft that can be successful - homemade ice cream, hand crafted instruments, and wig making all have potential for financial success. Anyway it's the wig making that sets Alec off.. because apparently as a child people made fun of him for having like a disproportionately large afro?

Let's skip the majority of the fight. It's the best part of the episode, because the childhood dreams are hilarious. The best one by far is the guy who wants to be a cucumber, ESPECIALLY because it turns out to be Banana Man (still waiting for his akumatisation), and the way that Ladybug's Lucky Charm is for some random guy that just wants to be a toy dinosaur to hug people is amazing, it's so out of left field and I loved it.

HOWEVER... we also have a question that we've been wanting answered the whole episode: what does Adrien want to do? He can't think of what his childhood dream was, it was a mystery. So of course he gets hit, or he lets himself get hit, who even cares because Chat's competency has been going down faster than Thomas Astruc's ego has been rising... and suddenly I am wishing I never asked because apparently all Adrien ever wanted to do was whatever his parents wanted him to do? Fuck off.

Who in their right mind would even write that? I'm not kidding, he literally says "When I was a kid, I always wanted to be what my parents wanted me to be!" Now, if we'd had further context, like his parents talking about how they wanted him to be kind to others and to be happy with his choices, it would be fine. But all we have is Gabriel's weird emotional abuse and desire for his son to be perfect, attractive, and good at All The Things, as long as he remains the Agreste Cash Cow. WHAT? I'M SORRY, WHAT?!!?! Adrien, honey, you need a therapist, because no, you're not perfect, you're a people pleasing anxious wreck.

Anyway apparently all along Alec just wanted to be the next RuPaul, because that's how we end the episode - Luka now joining the Cursed Knowledge Club, and our titular characters deciding to remain stagnant because like that's how you write a good tv series, you know?

I'm not kidding about RuPaul. Any Drag Race fan will recognise the butchered end quote. Can I get an amen?