#we got weird cults baybees

[new-haven-psych-ward]

Kamen Rider Geats episode 42 poorly summarized via memes with as little context as possible:

[hungeringheart]

ok so it actually totally makes sense for people to be troll Jewish.

actually i think huss fucked up, in one major way, by attempting to cast kankri (troll jesus) as victimized by a religiously hostile troll society with a monarch, a messianic religion involving an incomprehensible heavenly host (which because of gamzee, scratch, and caliborn fucking with it became the ICP cult), and a caste system involving rulers in contact with deity. that's, like, number one do not do this if you don't want people to be like oh! in the troll context, the government is an allegory for and alt history of romanized judea

I think he was maybe going for "the main guys are the rome and some of the subject trolls in the empire are troll jewish", because I guess the empress stepped in because the clabbis got upset or whatever. but he kind of fumbled the necessary politics and religion and made the troll Sanhedrin (purples) and troll Imperial lineage (fuchsias) too damn related for that because he didnt know either

(in the troll case the deity is most probably all the horrorterrors individually or a collectivized abstraction of all of them, since some framework had to exist for scratch to put glbgolyb there successfully and her title is Emissary. anyway moving on)

and like, the castes include such fun and relatable persons as priests (purples), hereditary lawyers (teals et al, mirroring talmudic rabbinical families) and various less religiously encoded specialists (in real life there were families that had like weird specific temple lore and thus title to specific temple jobs. theres talmud era temple baker drama you can google im not kidding). not very roman to restrict that in that specific way now is it :")

all signs point to there having been a state religion and it having been a polytheisticish troll second temple judaism, baybee! that really is kind of what it would look like if we (jews) were bees circa the time of jc and the boys, as written by just some not Jewish guy with a webcomic.

thinking about all this irreversibly rotted my brain when I was about 12 years old and informs my headcanons to this day, but let's not worry about that

anyway yeah everyone who's anyone under the dominant culture circa Meenah and co's time is almost definitely troll Jewish at least ethnically, and hilariously enough Andy Huss intended this in no way whatsoever. this is actually really funny and sort of bad of him if you squint, but whaddahell else are cool aus for? unintentional representation (as the... state religion of a completely insane space civilization of possible brood parasites) can still turn into decade long hyperfixations dont worry about it :] i have a beautiful and strong homestuck au about it yes thank you for asking

anyway. again sorry

it seems like the thing with Stelsa, almost definitely Galekh, and earlier, Terezi, is that they're troll Jewish, but that's no longer the dominant culture among Alternian trolls like it was when the Condesce (also troll Jewish, at least by birth) was hanging out with her internet friends. so now it's noteworthy, where it wasn't before.

Damara (i know, i know) is a troll weeaboo, which in her extremely screwed up case probably means she's a convert to troll Shinto from troll Christianity (depending on the power of the Signless' cult, which is debatable -- but weirdly in homestuck the christianity-like thing seems to be the clurch clown church, which allegedly evolved among the clabbinate clown rabbinate or whatever and raises questions too big for one post).

good luck and lord speed you soldier (on your quest to follow the jewish fandom's footsteps that we trod before you, and figure out what the fuck all of these implications add up to or mean to you)

so like. what's up w troll judaism. how does that work how is stelsa troll jewish with the whole no jesus thing and the only religious figure in homestuck (other than clown nonsense is the signless being jesus w no god. man is homestuck awful at religious parallels and commentary lol