#we got kylec relationship drabble before kyran drabble.. coming soon i swear

[hang1n]

Thinking about Kyran and Alec (aka childhood best friends to acquaintances to estranged frenemies who know eachother too well):

We've known eachother our whole lives, and we've watched eachother grow. If we haven't met, we would have been completely different people. But we've been dead to eachother since then, and we haven't spoken in a year.

A friendship that used to be everything. Where we smiled and laughed about anything. Where we fought and screamed over the stupidest things. Where both of us were too stubborn to apologize first and admit we were wrong. Where both of us got hurt because nobody else will know how to hurt me as much as you do. Where both of us learned how to love with our whole hearts and whole being. Where both of us will never forget.

Childhood friends are like old wounds. The kind that you only remember when you press down on it. The kind that gapes at the center of your chest and replaces where your heart once was, overflowing with crimson. You're left with the reminder that you'll never be able to patch it up.

Like. I hate you. I still find fragments of you in every person I meet. I hope we never see eachother again. I still turn around when someone says your name. I don't think we'll ever go back to how things were. I wish I hated you.

Meeting you again is opening a box of memories hidden underneath my bed during spring cleaning. Meeting you again is getting ice-cream that you used to always have during summer for myself. Meeting you again is carving a pumpkin for Halloween during autumn and remembering how ugly yours were. Meeting you again is walking pass the old playground that used to be “our spot” and looking at the snow that should've been snowmen built by our hands during winter.

You used to be a figment of my imagination. Some ghost that would haunt the corners of my mind, but you're as alive and you can be and you're standing in front of me. Did you think of me as much as I did? We know eachother’s deepest fears and we know eachother’s childish dreams, but I don't know what you thought of the new episode of the show we used to watch together. Do you even watch it anymore, or have you forgotten about it too?

I wish I could say that I wish you the best. Your happiness hurts. I hope you find everything you're looking for. They'll never understand you like I do. I never really understood you, and you never understood me like I needed you to. I miss your warmth. I want you to never say a word to me.

We're we ever friends? Maybe you thought of our relationship as a skewed form of love, somewhere you could lay bare your worst self and your best self. I did that too, probably. So I know it's hypocritical for me to say that I wish we never ended up like this. But I really do wish that things had gone differently. We both knew that we had nowhere else to go, and we both accepted eachother as they were. Maybe that's enough.

You're my home. Sometimes looking at you is like seeing a stranger. You're the only constant in my life. I miss you even when we're right next to eachother. You know what I'm thinking even without words. I'm so jealous of you. I'd die for you in a heartbeat yet I'll never tell you the truth.

We're not quite little kids anymore. We haven't been for a long, long time. But no matter how long we go on without talking, I'll always have your back. No questions asked.