#we gender inanimate objects and yet we don't have anything in that direction what the hell

[fandom-necromancer]

Another option

This was prompted by an amazing anon! I hope you enjoy! As always with these topics, I hope I didn’t offend anyone. Connor pulls at least one phrase I know you shouldn’t say in that context. If I said anything wrong, please message me so I can change/delete that part!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 | Add. Characters: Connor (Warnings: gender disphoria, coming out as nonbinary, nonbinary character written by only slightly nonbinary author)

Nines sat at his table, watching his brother chat with another officer in the breakroom. He had something eating at him for a few weeks already, but there wasn’t much he could do about it himself. It was a discomforting feeling he had trouble to even find words for, much less voice in front of others. Connor really was the only one he trusted enough to consider speaking to. Sure, he had more friends than just his brother and was very close with Gavin, but Gavin was human. Most of his friends were. And he didn’t want to creep them out further than he already did by now.

He had learned very quickly that he wasn’t like other androids. Being an unfinished prototype last-minute patched by Elijah Kamski himself after being activated in the Cyberlife Tower wasn’t easy when everyone around him was integrating perfectly, some blending in so perfectly they were only distinguishable from humans when they had to refill their Thirium levels. Nines stood out. His military coding wasn’t that advanced when it came to something like social interaction, making friends and… do human things. He didn’t like being idle, something most humans desired from time to time, he was longing for clear orders instead of complex inuendo of politeness. Maybe that’s why he had taken to Gavin that easily. But none of that was what was bothering Nines at the moment. All these shortcomings he had accepted as his character. Sure, he sometimes longed for the ease others displayed in those situations, but mostly he was content with it. No, his problem was something entirely different. And if he didn’t ask someone for help or an explanation soon, he was sure it would eat him alive. Connor probably was his safest bet.

And so, as soon as the officer left Connor alone, gesturing for their desk, Nines took his chance. He walked over, trying not to alarm anyone with his hurry and likely failing. ‘Connor? Can we talk for a moment?’, he asked and looked around. ‘In private?’ The RK800 frowned but nodded. ‘Of course. What is it?’ ‘I feel something I can’t quite put into words’, Nines muttered. ‘I… It has bothered me for a while now. And- Well, I don’t know how to explain it.’ ‘Just try, I will tell you if I don’t understand something’, Connor told him with a smile. ‘Well, I… Did you ever think about how it’s weird androids have genders?’ ‘Not really…’, Connor shrugged. ‘Why?’ ‘I mean, humans, they have genders because they are biological creatures, right? We don’t need that. We can’t reproduce.’

Connor looked at him. ‘Well, I guess. But we were built in their image. So we too are male or female.’ ‘But I don’t feel like that’, Nines stated. ‘I mean, I am supposed to be male from my build, but I don’t feel like that.’ ‘So you feel… female?’ ‘No, neither actually’, RK900 sighed. ‘I’m myself. RK900. An unfinished prototype, a detective, your sibling, Gavin and I love each other, … Saying I am male just feels… wrong? Weird? Am I making sense?’ ‘So you don’t feel like you have a gender?’, Connor asked, and his face told Nines everything he needed to know.

‘This is because I’m not finished once again, isn’t it?’, he sighed disappointedly. ‘Another part I’m missing.’ ‘Hey, Nines’, Connor quickly interrupted him, taking his hand in his and waiting until he looked back into his face again. ‘Nines, if you don’t feel like that it’s fine. I don’t think anything less of you and neither will anyone else. If you don’t identify as male or female, then I will respect that. Just because I don’t understand what you are feeling it doesn’t mean I can’t respect your decision, wishes and sense of identity. Do you understand? You are my bro- You are family. I love you no matter what will happen. Okay?’ Nines nodded, forcing himself to smile, but took back his hand to push it into his pocket. ‘Yes, I understand. Thank you, Connor.’

Dropping his appearance as soon as he was out of sight, he walked back to his desk, sitting down and trying to concentrate on his work. He had thought he had learned of everything he was missing. discovering new faults made him wonder what else was still out there waiting for him. Would he one day become better instead of worse? He sighed deeply, reaching for the interface device to get back to his cases. But before he could reach it, out of nowhere Gavin spoke up: ‘Hey, something is up, what is it?’ ‘Nothing.’ ‘Nothing causes your LED to show a lot of red then’, Gavin refused to drop it. ‘Do you want to speak about it or need some distraction?’ Nines looked up at the human that looked completely honest with his offering. As if to confirm, he continued: ‘I didn’t take my break yet. We can go outside and talk while I have a cigarette or something. If that would help you.’

Nines sighed. ‘Okay. I still need some time to process it, so I doubt I could have worked like this anyways.’ Gavin nodded and took his pack from the drawer before heading out the back entrance. He walked towards the railing, leaning against it while igniting his cigarette and taking the first drag. Nines watched the cloud of smoke rise in the air, standing a bit lost to his side. ‘Alright, tin-can, spill the beans’, Gavin chuckled but got serious fairly quickly. ‘What’s up in that metal brain of yours?’ ‘I told Connor something that has been bothering me for a while, but he didn’t understand me. So I guess it’s just another part of me being the unfinished prototype of a war machine.’ ‘What did you tell him?’, Gavin asked, continuing to look over the parking lot int front of him. ‘I… I don’t know if I should tell you.’ ‘Come on, man, it’s eating you up and I hope by now you do realise you can tell me anything. I can keep a secret.’

Nines rolled his shoulders indecisive. But then he let his tension fall in defeat and muttered: ‘I don’t feel like a man.’ He waited for a while, but Gavin didn’t answer. Only as silence stretched, he half turned his head towards him to signalise he was still listening. ‘I don’t feel female either. I don’t feel like I have a gender at all. But Connor couldn’t give me any explanation as he feels comfortable being male. I guess it’s really just something wrong with me yet again and I have to accept that.’ He let his head fall and felt his skin crawl with discomfort at having to admit it once again to the human.

Nines frowned, when Gavin let out a huge cloud of smoke having held his breath until just now. Without turning around and fixing a distant point, he commented: ‘Nah, buddy, there’s a word for it, it’s called being nonbinary. Or transgender, genderfluid, …’ He stopped talking another pull from his cigarette. ‘There are actually a lot of different designations to choose from for someone not conforming to gender binary. I can’t say I understand them all, I just researched until I came to the conclusion I am quite comfortable with being male.’ Nines looked at him, his face not really readable for Gavin, so he continued: ‘Of course, you don’t have to use any label, but it might help you not feeling alone or weird or broken. Knowing there are others feeling similarly if not the same.’

‘So you say, humans experience this too?’, Nines asked, voice not more than a whisper. ‘This is not just me being… incomplete? Gavin sighed, turning around and leaning his back against the railing. He looked the android into the eyes and showed him a gentle smile. ‘Listen, tin-can, humans are complex. There is no black and white, never was and never will be. So why should your kind be any different? If anything, it is just as logical with you as it is with us, if not more. We are born - you are built - with a gender we couldn’t chose. If you feel like it doesn’t fit with you, then you can pick something else.’

He turned back around to flick the ash that had accumulated at the end of his cigarette in the ashtray before he continued with a shrug: ‘There are people born as female that become male, or the other way around. And there are people identifying with neither or only a little bit of it. None of them are “missing” something or broken or whatever kinda shit word others may tell you. And I see no reason to think the same doesn’t apply to androids. Hell, maybe they truly forgot to install something, who am I to know, but you are not alone and not in any case less of a person for it.’

Nines stayed silent for quite a while, processing what he just heard. ‘And people will… accept that?’, he asked tentatively. Gavin laughed. ‘Buddy, if they don’t, I’ll give them hell and you’ll file a complaint with HR. Easy as that.’ That made Nines smile. Research on that topic was already well underway, both on what Gavin had mentioned and what else there was to look into. Content with what Nines had found, he updated his status in every databank that was readily available for him for now. Noticing then that there were still a few minutes left of the break, they walked up to Gavin and joined him leaning against the railing.

‘Thank you. I think I found what I was looking for.’