#we don't mind questions at all as long as they're polite so thank u for this!

[zippidi-dooda]

"So, you're saying all we have to do is ask your old friend for help?" Ruby questioned after hearing her uncle's statement.

Jaune smiled, ready to head down the road toward this friend. "That's great! And they're just along the way? We should keep going then."

Qrow chuckled dryly, looking down at the dusky road beneath their feet. "Not so easy, kid."

"Why? Are they far, far along the way?"

"In that case we should set up camp now and set out early in the morning. It'll be safer that way." Ren suggested, nodding at the setting sun on the horizon.

"No, no, it's not that. They run an inn the next town over." Qrow corrected. "We'll reach it by nightfall."

"Then what are we waiting for? We can get help and score a warm place to stay the night!" Nora chirped.

Exited at the prospect of a soft bed to lay on after weeks of sleeping on the stiff floor and a potential ally to add on their quest to save Remnant, the group picked up their pace, traveling ahead of the reminiscent crow.

"There's a big guarantee they'll say no. I messed up big time the last we met. The last thing they said to me was that they hate me."

***

You shook your head, laughing at the barkeep's jokes. They were terrible to be sure, but you always found his way of cheering others up to be charming.

"You know, you're gonna have to come up with new jokes soon. You've said that last one a thousand times already."

The barkeep rolled his eyes, reaching for another glass to polish. "Well it seems to be a hit with the guests."

"They're just being polite with you."

"Whatever. Oh, uh, Y/N? You wouldn't mind if I took the day off tomorrow would ya?"

"Of course not, Busch. You're always on top of everything, not many reasons to say no." You gave him a sly smile, leaning across the table. "What's the ocasion this time? Am I gonna get ta see a love sick puppy when you get back?"

"I'm not obligated to answer that."

"Aw, not even gonna share a little detail with your nicest boss?"

He scoffed. "Nice my ass. Yer gonna pile the work on me when I get back."

"Hey, I haven't done that to you. Yet."

"Ha ha." Busch flicked your forehead. "I'm gonna really enjoy my time Y/N free tomorrow. Now get outta here, ya got guests comin' in."

"Alright, alright. I'll leave ya alone the rest of the night."

"Thank gods."

"Don't miss me too much!" You smiled, heading towards the entrance to greet the newcomers.

"Welcome! If you need a safe place to stay the night or just a few directions, you're in luck! I'm Y/N, how can I help ya?"

"... hey, Y/N. Long time no see."

Your heart seemed to stop as the oh-so-familiar voice flooded your ears.

A voice you didn't want to hear again.

"... Qrow ...?"

A man you didn't want to see again.

A scowl settled on your face and you stood still, eyes locked with his. Their captivating shade of bourbon blush failed to bring you the joy they once did, only stirring up a mountain of memories you had tried hard to forget.

"You got a lot of nerve showin' up here. Leave. Before I force you out."

Qrow smiled snidely, taking a step closer. "Now that's not much of a warm welcome is it? It's a miracle you still got this place up and running with that attitude. Listen, Y/N, I know you don't like the idea of helping me, but we need your-"

"No, Qrow. I have no interest getting caught up in your messes anymore. You're a skilled huntsman, so whatever it is that's going on I'm sure you can handle it on your own."

He furrowed his brow, stepping closer to you. "Y/N, you don't understand, it's not just me now. Since Beac-"

"Enough! I don't want to hear it," You placed a hand on the hilt of your weapon. "Now just walk outta here peaceful before-"

Suddenly, a young girl clad in a red cape jumped between you two, arms spread out defensively.

"Stop! Look, Lady, I don't know what my uncle did to you. You probably have every right to be upset with him. But the world is in danger and we can use any bit of help we can get. We were hoping you could provide it to us. We're not here to hurt or endager you or the people here. But if it comes down to it, we won't go down without a fight."

You studied the girl for a moment. Her features were akin to those of the flighty huntsman she came with, the most remarkable trait of all being her, "Silver eyes ...."

Finally, you took notice of the rest of the group of teens that had entered with Qrow. They stood with weapons in hand, braced for a fight, eyes tracking you cautiously.

The way they held themselves proved they were more than prepared in ways of combat. But their clothing and worn out expressions stood out. They were tired. They might have been traveling for days and were in need of proper care.

You looked to Qrow one last time.

He looked weary too, eyes trained on the hand that held your weapon.

He never liked doing anything with groups, much less groups composed of people more than likely to impede him.

He wouldn't have been with them without good reason. And he most certainly wouldn't have come in search of you if he hadn't already failed in a search for others.

With a sigh, you closed your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose. "Busch! Make me a drink, would ya? It's gonna be along night."

***

I don't remember where I was going with this so here's as far as I got when I first wrote it

Uncle Qrow is great

[roobylavender]

HI i really enjoy your blog and the wide variety of interests and topics you talk about :') i'm also desi diaspora btw and i like hearing your perspective on diaspora issues too! i have a personal question if it's alright - pls ignore this ask if you don't wanna answer it, i would totally understand but - lately i've been hearing a lot abt making more private spaces unisex like public bathrooms etc, and i was wondering how u feel about this also considering your ethnic/religious background? like personally whether it's in past school sports teams or currently sharing my space with fellow med students where we often have to rapidly change scrubs and stuff i've never felt comfortable changing in front of male strangers etc, and while i know i'm naturally a reserved/introverted person i also know that the way i was raised and my family's traditions/culture has a lot to do with it lol... for this reason and also in general bc of all the stories i hear from back home abt femicide, r*pe, etc in south asia and west asia, i don't think i'd ever be completely comfortable with a man unless i knew him v well. but also i think most women even outside our ethnic bg feel similarly (like idk if u saw but recently there was this viral series of tweets where women said they'd rather encounter a bear in a forest than a man while they were isolated)... considering the number of stories of everyone from sports coaches to male doctors to male prison wardens assaulting their female patients, or how so many countries have epidemics of bathroom stall cameras and peeping toms, i can't help but feel that this wariness is justified. also the risk of hate crimes/violent assault is like a million times greater from men than women so idk if it would even be wise for gay, gnc, trans-identified ppl etc to share private spaces with them... so i'm struggling to unpack my feelings abt this and also i feel like girls and women shouldn't have to put aside our discomfort (that's been well-validated for so many millennia) idk... i was wondering if you felt similarly since from what i've seen u also come from a similar background as me? thank you!!

i don't mind answering! personally i'm also pretty self conscious about changing and used the bathroom stalls in school when it was time for gym class lol. but i think what we need to understand about an ideology or movement like this is that it's necessary to engage with it faithfully and materially. i think a lot of the reactionary attitude towards gender abolition tends to stem from the idea that abolition is an immediate conclusion and not a process that will take time and several steps to achieve. so it's not a movement that persists in ignorance of all of the issues you listed above but actually with an acute awareness of and desire to address them individually and collectively so that we can make it to a point where the conclusions of gender abolition become a reality. obv that will take a lot of time! but the point is to believe in and help curate that outcome no matter how long it takes to do so. and a lot of that will come down to deconstructing and restructuring how we as people are socialized from birth. men aren't born into misogyny, they're nurtured into it. and if we want women to be safer in the long term we need to invest in a future where we purge misogyny at the outset. which again! will certainly take a lot of time and an extensive effort from all walks of people (as well as require addressing multiple aspects and sectors of society beyond those immediately related to gender). but it's very important not to give into bioessentialism and believe that men are fundamentally incapable of co-existing safely with women. they very much can provided deliberate and extensive structural upheaval of gender politics as it exists today and that is what we need to focus on!

[squip-filth-archives]

Feel free to not answer this if it makes you uncomfortable, I completely understand! In general, what’s it like to have DID? I know all systems are different (in terms of like communication, etc), but I’m curious because there aren’t many descriptions online. Thank you if you answer this, and even if you don’t, thank you anyways! Hugs to everyone, and fist bumps if you don’t like hugs! -🕯

ALRIGHT this is a Very long and rambly answer so buckle up! please ask me to clarify if something doesn’t make sense. i told myself ‘okay i’m gonna keep his as short and sweet as possible’ And Then I Did Not

anyways! below the cut;

as you said, all systems are different! everyone’s experiences vary wildly, even across members in the same system-- for example; i, eli, experience things differently than charlie does.

for me personally, it’s... a mixed bag. it’s not all terrible, and it’s not all great.

i consider myself to be fairly lucky. all of the peeps in my system view one another as a sort of wacky family. lots of other systems Don’t view everyone as a family. here though,, everyone does their best to get along? there are squabbles now and then but everything runs fairly smoothly overall which is Great

dissociation is,, something. most people dissociate to some degree-- i.e.; ‘oh i zoned out while i was driving, how’d i get here?’ but those with DID dissociate to a very high level as a result of childhood trauma.

there’s a lot of it. some days are worse than others, and on a very dissociated day i’ll end up getting huuuge migraines. if someone is really close to front or if there’s a lot happening between peeps In The Brain, i get lightheaded, and if that lightheadedness continues it builds into this pressure and i end up with an awful headache. and dissociation in general can range from ‘i feel like me but slightly to the left today’ to ‘i don’t know who i am, my reflection is wrong, everything around me is fake’.

it can be distressing. sometimes i’ll have been out about driving and when i come home, as i pull into the driveway, i’ll be overwhelmed by a thought that’s like ‘this isn’t my house. this isn’t mine, this is wrong, where am i?’ and someone on the inside will reassure me that it is right, i’ve been living there for months-- it’s just my memory is so distorted and i may be being heavily influenced by someone else with different memories than mine.

that’s another thing-- we don’t always know who’s fronting or how many of us are existing in front at once. (note: ‘fronting’ = controlling the body.) there’ll be a feeling of ‘i am not eli but i don’t know who i am’ or there’ll be rapid switching between multiple alters or there will be several alters blending together and it just leads to this confused state where everything is distorted and thinking too much about Identity leads to a panic attack of sorts. it can be scary. the body will wake up and not know who’s in control. we’ll be driving and someone else will switch out and briefly panic because they are now piloting a body that’s in control of a vehicle. 

whoever is in front can be heavily influenced by the emotions or presence of another alter. one of the boys gets anxious very very easily, and if he’s nearby, whoever is in control of the body at that time will feel that anxiety in our chest. one of us experiences heartache frequently, missing the life he remembers, and whoever is in front will feel that. we are susceptible to each others’ emotions. it’s difficult to figure out sometimes who’s feeling what and why.

on that topic-- a lot of them have their own memories. some of them just remember stuff from living In This Body, but some of them, those who are introjects of preexisting characters, have memories of families and homes and lovers that never technically existed-- like charlie. he remembers the friends he made here, but he is Alive. he has free will, and the people he made friends with are just characters being controlled by a human from miles away. everyone has different amounts of memories, and some are more emotionally impacted by them than others.

memory as a whole is weird. i, eli, don’t remember anything from before 7 years old. from there, it’s patchy and incomplete, with large chunks of my life just missing. this is a self-defense mechanism, and if i don’t remember something, it’s because my brain is keeping me safe. but it’s still disconcerting to not remember whole periods of your life.

it’s not all bad though, not at all! it can be fun. it can be relieving. we do our best to cooperate with one another and have a good time. we help each other in the best ways we can. 

and there are fun and kinda weird little things like.. okay. a couple weeks ago i was drawing one of the peeps, and i was like ‘what the heck kinda shoes do i do here?? loafers????’ and i received a Single word from him; “Oxfords.” and that was it. and i was like. alrighty then, guess we’ll go with those bad boys

i’ll receive thoughts that aren’t mine, which is sometimes funny or cool and is sometimes disconcerting. someone will pipe up with a random scientific fact that i don’t remember every learning and it ends up being true. i’ll receive,, ‘memories’ or projections of a scene on the inside, like someone took a video or picture of something that happened between some peeps and uploaded it to my personal memory bank. 

also there’ll be conversations like ‘oh fuck where is that thing who took the thing’ and someones in the back is like ‘oh sorry it’s by the fridge’ or ‘i ate it, don’t worry about it’ or ‘it’s in your pocket already’ and so on

AND! BRO. ordering food or drinks or going to the store is wack! i’ll be like ‘okay i am getting a dr. pepper’ and i am flooded with ‘i want a cherry coke’ or ‘just drink water no more sugary drinks today’ or ‘get me an energy drink’ and i’ll end up with like four different beverages in my possession at any given time

and some people like foods that i hate?? like. i don’t really like fresh blueberries. but charlie Loves them and will eat a million of em in a single sitting.

and my brother has even said stuff like ‘i like how you sometimes laugh at my stupid jokes and then other times you just look really disappointed in me. like it’s different depending on the day’ and i’m like. yes. oops

also, charlie and a couple others help me at my job. if i get overwhelmed, someone easily takes over to help customers or fill in the blanks of whatever orders i’m missing. if lots of cleaning needs to get done in a short amount of time, someone else will front and laser-focus on the tasks at hand and not get distracted by anything.

ultimately, everyone here helps me just,, exist. we help each other live in a productive and loving way. and while it can be frustrating or scary or exhausting sometimes, i genuinely don’t think i’d give them up for anything in the world. yes, they’re there because of some shitty life circumstances, but they are the best possible result of said shitty things i could ever hope for. i really, truly love them. again, we’re like a weird little family. now matter how bad it gets with them, they still improve my life monumentally. i wouldn’t trade them for anything.

now! this has been very disorganized and rambly?? and there are most likely things i’m missing here, but here’s a sort of answer for you! thank you for being polite, and you’re welcome to ask further questions if you’d like.

-eli (charlie co-con)

(,,note: co-con basically means ‘in the passenger seat’. if i’m fronting, i’m in the driver’s seat. if charlie is co-con, he’s in the passenger seat; i am in control of the vehicle (body), but he has input of what to do and where to go and he can see what’s going on.)

[freakygirlie]

Hi. Itk here. Believe me, don't, doesn't matter. Thought I'd drop (after you summoned ha) by given the chaos and try to enlighten the ones who choose to believe me, as much as I'm capable of.

The first thing I wanna say is: stop trying to figure out their relationship. You most likely never will. Fans are stuck on both extremes, when the actuality of it is far more in the middle (perhaps even up or down and all around ha). It's complex and strange and not at all "normal" (as normal as they could be, anyways).

It's not as simple as "oh they're just a closeted couple who engage in bearding and have kids and behind closed doors they're just a regular, old married couple and a big, happy rainbow family".

Doesn't sound like itk info, believe me, I get that but observing the fandom I'd say it almost is because most fans simply hang on extreme simplistic ideas of what their relationship is.

Second thing I'd like to say and unfortunately seems like it's not at all obvious but: do not believe anything they share publicly. Not saying they're lying compulsively, but they are public figures and they have a lot at stake to just casually drop the actual truth of any given situation.

Just don't. The same salt you have regarding itks, have towards them. It'd do you some good...Believe me. Unless you are involved in the entertainment or political life, you cannot even begin to fathom what it's really like, the level of manipulation, falsehood and well, overall deviation of it. It's quite disturbing tbh. So just always take whatever's said and shown with a good amount of salt. With public people hardly anything is accidental or casual.

I think the most prominent question now is...Why? Why would they do something like that? Regardless if you have the ingenuity to believe the little scene they made or not...Still, the question lingers.

With my level of "in the knowness" I cannot for sure say the real reason, yet from the pieces I've collected so far, seems to be a multiple gain scheme. It was a high risk, they were well aware, and it paid out in the way they were expecting, minus small bumps here and there. But overall it seemed to have worked in their favor. How in the hell, one would ask?

Believe me, I used my best sneaky capabilities to find out exactly why but they were smart enough to keep this one locked tight, minus a few loose lips. And from those all I've heard was that "whatever the purpose was, it worked out".

As weird as it may sound to the innocent mind, it's actually not at all, given that even leaked nudes are not at all leaked or accidental, and those tend to (at least in the past) get immense amount of backlash. It's not the first time famous folks fake a fight, surely won't be the last.

A lot goes into public image, it's not black and white as "well but it looked bad on Jensen", "it looked bad on the prequel", etc. You'd be surprised as how little this truly matters given the level of manipulation they are able to pull on the public. And well, even with them...It happens all the time. Both made mistakes far worse than just "not telling my bestie about my new project" and fans would eventually let that go and put them back on the pedestal.

So just remember, always: not in the industry? then don't judge anything because you simply do not understand how it works.

Another piece of itk information I can give besides "this was planned and it worked" is: they are fine. From what I've heard they are not fighting over it or going through anything more dramatic than what they usually have been going through ever since they met haha.

So just sit back and chill out. Breathe, read fanfiction and remember that we will never truly get answers, because even what comes out of their mouths are most of the time carefully thought out and directed to have a specific meaning and effect (why do you think Jared mumbles and rambles so much?).

Another interesting piece of itk: you know how they always say they never fight? Even though that sounds insanely hard to believe even if they were just friends because who knows someone for that long and is constantly together and never fights? Unlikely, right? Yes, as obvious as that was. But unfortunately a lot of you seem to believe that, given the level of shock you had for this little twitter feud (as fake as it was). Yeah. They fight. A lot.

They fight as much as individuals in their situation would. Like I said, not at all what most people absentmindedly seem to think it is. They go through a lot. Way more than anyone who isn't in a similar situation would understand. It's messy, although they try their best to make it simpler in the ways they can.

On top of being in a very complex situation, they both have strong personalities and one of them is quite hard to "pin down". So altercations happen a lot, but they know how to deal, and they are exceptionally good at making sure that doesn't interfere in their work (oh well, at least not any work that doesn't benefit from intense emotional exchanges, anyways 😉...chemistry isn't something random, you know? haha).

I find it quite...interesting (to put it nicely) that a lot of hats easily believe they are a couple that lies constantly about almost every aspect of their lives, yet, they cannot believe they would fake a social media narrative. It makes no sense whatsoever.

It'd do you all good to be a little less tendentious and look at them as, you know...Humans? They are not what they seem to be, just as you guys also take in different versions of yourselves in different situations, they do too. And don't be so hopelessly naive to actually believe they see fans as "hashtag family". This is their work. And as grateful as they are for supporters, they certainly do not consider them family. To the point of never lying and trusting you with their life.

I'm sure they love their fans, but come on, saying they would never lie because that's mean to fans is just beyond naive. They've been doing it all along and oh, another interesting info? They don't think they're doing anything wrong.

Yeah, sounds weird, you'd think they'd feel guilty. But again, unless you were media trained, you'd never get it.

From years now if there's one consistent info I've gotten was this: they don't feel obligated to tell you anything. They believe they are doing "what they are supposed to do, the right thing for everyone involved".

So. Yeah. And hell, they are right about not being obligated to say anything about anything, I guess.

Well, I hope that was helpful or at least entertaining. It's hard to share info without accidentally making it obvious who I am for the lurkers (sure you guys were well aware that they lurk around the fandom). But it's safe because as long as I don't provide evidence, I'm fine. Just walking a thin line between sharing and not sharing something too specific that would be easy fir them to know who has that info and although they can't do anything against itks, they can manage to cut us off somehow and I enjoy having access lol, so that'd be a bummer.

Anyways, take itks and J2 themselves with a ton of salt haha! You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!

itk anon everything you said was <333 and i agree with like almost all of it. very nice analysis and ask thank you ! i don't always believe everything j2 put out but the whole stunt being a false narrative just seems wrong so idk what to make of it. regardless i myself can sometimes get carried away in my star-struck love of j2. and i am a tinhat so well :) and now they look to be really good and taking a break from here was well worth it <3

''You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!'' i love u so much hope u have a great day !

[mochiyoonfi]

Our Utopia PT 2

Synopsis: The sequel to ‘Our Utopia’

Universe: idol reader

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of rape, assault and PTSD. No graphic descriptions but still may be triggering. Smut in next chapter.

Words: 3.2k

You lay in your bed, staring up at the ceiling. Your debut song was playing in the background.

It was successful. The public loved you. And you were happy. The other girls were always so hardworking and excited to debut, it was hard not to get caught up in the euphoria.

Ji-Eun entered the room, pausing in the doorway to look at you. “Are you listening to Sonder again?”

You nodded.

She sighed, sitting down on the bed next to you.

“I don't need to talk right now, Ji.” You warned.

Smiling, she lay back on the bed with you. “I never said a word.”

Pressing play on your CD Player, your only elder in the dorm closed her eyes, relaxing next to you.

Emotions and thoughts swirled in your mind.

You had moved out of BTS’s dorm weeks ago. Now living with the girls in your group, you spent your time practising. Trying your best not to give yourself too much time to think, or any time to miss the seven members of BTS.

But right now, lying next to one of your closest friends, you knew the truth.

You missed them.

“I have the results of your wellness checks. Do you want to give these out, Jungkook?”

Jumping up to grab the papers, Jungkook’s eye caught on a picture of your group. He held it up.

“Hitman Bang?” Jungkook asked. “This was in the middle of the pile.”

Bang Shi Hyuk took the poster, smiling. “They're doing well, aren't they? Namjoon, your sister is very talented.”

Namjoon grinned. “Of course she is.”

“Smart too. I guess she has to be, to get that fancy psychology degree and all.”

Eyes wide, Namjoon blinked slowly. “U-uh? Degree? What Psychology Degree?”

“You didn't know?” Bang Shi Hyuk asked. When all seven boys shook their heads, he sighed. “Y/n has a Psychology degree. She even helped out with your mental health! Free of charge! She's a sweet girl.”

“I almost understand why she didn't tell me but you're her brother?” Yoongi asked.

Namjoon sighed. “I had no idea…”

“Why didn't she tell us?” Taehyung frowned, hurt evident on his face. But the hurt wasn't almost as obvious as Namjoon’s.

He was her brother. They were closer than anyone else was.

Why didn't she trust him?

“Is now a good time to talk?”

You looked up to see Ji-Eun standing at the foot of your bed, smiling as she offered you a milkshake.

“I guess. What do you want to talk about?”

Her dark eyes met yours. “You're unhappy. So I want to know what's wrong.”

You let out a large sigh. “I just.. Feel out of place, you know? You're all so carefree and happy… But I'm not.”

“Y/n that's not true-”

“Lots of stuff has happened to me.” Holding onto all restraint you concentrated your hardest to make sure your voice was steady. “I’ve not been happy… There have been times I just wanted to give up.”

You flinched, Ji-Eun reassuringly slipping her hand into yours. “It's okay Y/n. I'm here for you.”

In that moment you could’ve cried. You could’ve let yourself be vulnerable to her, lay everything in your past out to her. But you wouldn’t. She didn't deserve to have a weighted conscience. So, instead of telling her everything, you let her into the shallower depths of your trauma.

And finally, after an hour of soft sorrows and comfort, Ji-Eun finally spoke. “Y/n. I think I know what to do.”

Your eyes lit up. “What should I do, noona?”

“Do what feels right.” A warm smile spread across her face, showing you the comfort you often missed from other people. “What feels right to you?”

Taking a deep breath, you finally made your way downstairs, bags packed and heart racing.

“Hi... Girls..”

Heeyoung grabbed you into a hug. “You know we love you right?”

It hadn't been your plan to cry.

You had spent the last ten minutes in your room preparing yourself to stay strong. To keep a happy face.

But that plan was already ruined.

Feeling tears streaming down your face, you clasped onto her back. “I know.”

She pulled back, grinning widely. “Then you're free to move out. We’ll still see you at rehearsals?”

It was a question. She wasn't asking if you were going to show up at rehearsals. No. The question was ‘Are we still going to hang out like normal?’.

“I love you, girls, too.” You replied, embracing Luna then Baram. Finally noticing the emptiness of the room, you turned to Ji-Eun.

“Where's Aiko?”

Ji-Eun smiled. “She insisted that you had to drive back with her. She’s not going to take no for an answer.”

Feeling your heart warm, you smiled back. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“So why are you going back exactly?” Baram asked.

“I… I miss my brother. I want to spend more time with him.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. Just not the whole truth.

Taking a deep breath, you entered the dorm. Immediately you could hear footsteps rushing downstairs.

“Y/n! You’re back! I missed you so much!”

Your brother crashed into you, hugging you tightly. “I’m so glad Bang PD gave you permission to move back with us!”

Abruptly you were yanked away from your brother, Taehyung and Jungkook grabbing you into a hug between them. “Thanks so much Y/n!”

“For what?” You asked Jungkook.

“Everything!” He laughed, stepping away as Hoseok and Jin approached. They both gave you short hugs, Hoseok squeezing tightly as he beamed at you.

Yoongi didn’t give you a long hug like the others, rather, he gave you a quick, polite hug that didn’t cross any boundaries.

His reassuring gummy smile immediately made you feel at ease, quickly fitting back into a place of comfort with the guys.

“We arranged a party for you, Y/n!”

You gasped. “A party? Tae, you didn’t have to!”

Jungkook frowned. “The party is not just from him! It’s from all of us!”

Turning to Namjoon, you raised an eyebrow. “Why wasn’t I told about a party? It’s not that big of a deal..”

Namjoon laughed. “Y/n, it’s been months since we’ve had time to meet up. We barely even talk. I guess we’re just both so busy nowadays. So, we want to celebrate seeing you again.”

This was why you had come back. There was nowhere else you felt more at ease, than with the seven members of BTS.

“Hey, my little baby?” Namjoon’s eyes were focusing on you, and you could feel the nerves building up inside of you.

“Uh.. yeah? What’s up?”

“I kinda know about your degree. Well.. we all do.”

Your heart rate sped up, nervously playing with your hands. You took a deep breath. “I-I.. I’m so-”

Namjoon shook his head, his kind eyes filling with even more warmth than you felt possible. “I’m not mad Y/n. None of us are… in fact. I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for us. You’ve really helped us through the times where we felt as if there was no light left. As if we were conmans, fooling the world into believing we were okay when we weren’t. I’m-.. no. We’re happier with you.”

You could feel tears rolling down your cheeks, the stinging in your eyes forcing you to close them.

It was undeniable that your brother had a way with words. But the way he praised you… for what you felt was only the bare minimum. It filled you with a type of happiness you hadn’t experienced before.

“It’s just amazing knowing that you tried to help us.. and I guess I understand why you talked to us so often.” Hoseok said.

Jimin hesitated to speak, but finally did so regardless. “You did want to talk to us though, right? It wasn’t just part of a job or something..?”

Of course you’d thought they might react like this. You were glad they weren’t upset, but you didn’t want them to think you only played councillor to them as a sense of duty.

“No, Jimin. Of course not.. I mean.. At first maybe I was only doing it because of that and to help Namjoon. But after a while..I guess I wanted to help you all out. I really love you guys, with all my heart. I would do anything to help you.”

“Thank you..” Namjoon whispered.

As you left the living room to go to bed, Yoongi softly guided you against his frame. “Thank you so much for everything Y/n..”

You could feel your cheeks starting to flush red. “I… just wanted to protect you.”

He smiled, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead. “I’ll protect you, too.”

It was a typical day with Bangtan. You lay on the couch, watching a movie with five out of the seven boys. (Jungkook and Jin were busy…)

As far as movies go, it wasn’t half bad. You were uncontrollably giggling at some parts, and cringing for the protagonist at others. An all round good time.

Then it happened.

Intrusively, a scene flashed over the large screen of a girl being attacked by someone in the dark. The room lit up with your darkest horrors.

Feeling it all flooding back, the memories plastered centrefold in your mind. Your hands began shaking, throat fighting not to close up. You could feel your heart thumping faster than anything else, and the desire to throw up was uncontrollable.

Throwing yourself to your feet, you dashed out of the room, more than upset. You were almost in tears.

A knock on the door echoed slowly. “Y/n? Sweetheart, can I come in?”

Still shaking, you could do little more than yip out a small ‘yes’.

The door cracked open, and he slowly approached you. He took you against him, stroking your back. “Hush, hush. Breathe slowly.”

“I-I-I”

You wanted to say something. To apologise for ruining the movie. Or for being so hung up in the past. To apologise for anything you could.

But instead, Yoongi placed a finger on your lips. “Don’t apologise. It’s not your fault. It never was. You’re strong. You’re wonderful and amazing.”

His lips curled as he flashed his infamous gummy smile. “I care for you. A whole lot more than you could ever fully realise..”

Your heart beat had slowed while he spoke. The pure tone of his voice was enough to comfort you.

“I.. appreciate t-that. So much.”

He grinned. “I told you, I’ll protect you. Even if it’s from yourself. I needed people to protect me from myself in the past.. you’d know better than anyone.. I’ve never told anyone else...”

You slipped your hand under his chin, tilting his face closer to yours. He blinked. Then, without knowing who initiated it, you were kissing. Your lips curved perfectly against each other. The way they fit together embedded in your brain.

It was more than you thought you deserved. How could such a perfect person love.. you? But then you remembered. Everything he suffered through. All the trials he faced. The backlash from the smallest things.

You still cared for him, despite his brokenness. So why wouldn’t he still love you?

The door creaked open again and the others walked in, Namjoon in the lead. He explained that the others wanted to know, but he wouldn’t tell them. It wasn’t his secret. Once again, you felt the comfort of your brother's love wash over you.

“Y/n?” Taehyung grabbed you into a hug, the other two of the Maknae Line, Jungkook and Jimin slipping in on either side. They tried their best to make you smile.

Jin and Hobi doted on you for the rest of the night. Maybe it was their own special way of paying attention to you. By not asking what was wrong, rather, trying to fix the problem.

You were so loved..

More loved than you had ever felt in your life.

Pain makes the person, someone once said. Well, you guessed women were more powerful than any person could be.

Periods hurt.

Yours arrived just after sunset, resulting in you hurriedly rummaging through your supplies, only to find you had run out.

Wandering downstairs, you called out for Namjoon. Surely he could go get you some.

“Y/n? What’s up?” Taehyung asked, looking up from his phone from his routine spot on the couch.

“Where’s my brother?”

Taehyung frowned. “He���s been out for a while now. Maybe two hours? I don’t think he’ll be back for a while.”

“W-what?” You stuttered, eyes brimming with tears. You knew you were overreacting. But the hormones were making you more distressed than you could bear.

“Y/n? Can we talk for a second?”

Unable to refuse Yoongi, you followed him to your room. (He had set up a rule against you being allowed to be alone in his.)

“Are you okay? You’re acting a bit out of the ordinary.”

Hesitating to tell him, you looked away. “I-.. it’s nothing.”

Yoongi’s eyes took on a painful sheen. “Don’t you trust me? I want you to trust me, and if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine too.”

“I don’t know if… if I could exactly tell you. How would you react..”

Yoongi took your hands in his. “It doesn’t matter what’s wrong. If you’ve killed someone, I’ll even help you bury the body.”

You giggled, unable to ignore his joke, even while your stomach felt as if it may rupture through your skin.

He raised an eyebrow. “I’m joking… or am I? I hope we won’t have to find out..”

Taking a deep breath, you confided in him.

“I can go get the things you want? I know you don’t want to go out..”

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to go out. You both knew that. He was trying to find a nice way of saying ‘I know your PTSD won’t let you go out at night’.

You hugged him. “Thanks so much!”

Even while he stroked your hair behind your ears, smiling, he could feel you weren’t okay. You were never able to take pain killers. Since you had been addicted before, it was too high of a risk to fall back into the old habits. Not that you would let yourself, but sometimes you didn’t have control.

It wasn’t just the physical side either. Your pain had clearly crossed over into an emotionally hurtful aspect.

“I’ll be back soon.”

He kissed your forehead, and with that, you were left alone in your room. Insides still imploding.

Yoongi stood in the convenience store, confused over what to buy. He didn’t want to go overboard. But if you were in pain, he wanted to help you feel better. Finally, he picked out a highly recommended heat pack, along with the supplies you’d asked for.

Seeing the total purchase amount, he smiled slowly. It was worth it, to him. No sum of money meant more to him than your comfort.

“Oh, sweetie.”

When he entered your room, you had just thrown up. It wasn’t pretty, but he pretended he wasn’t looking while he passed you a heated towel. He helped you into your bed, giving you the heat pack.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked.

You shuffled against him, head resting only centimetres away from his chest. “I am, thank you. I owe you.”

“You owe me, nothing.” He whispered.

It was hours later when Namjoon walked in to find you and Yoongi sleeping in your bed together. When the others had told him Y/n was looking for him, he was slightly worried, but nowhere as concerned as he was right now.

“Yoongi?” He gaped. “What the-”

Yoongi shushed him. “I didn’t do anything. I promise. She’s sick from her…” He paused, wondering if you would be okay with Namjoon knowing. But then, his mind took over from his heart. You shouldn’t have to feel ashamed of something you were born to have. Your period wasn’t something shameful. It was part of life.

“She’s on her period.” Yoongi finished.

“Oh.” Namjoon’s outrage deflated.

After a while, Taehyung and Jin stopped by to keep Namjoon and Yoongi company. The two of them waiting by your bedside while you slept. Taehyung brought snacks with him, the tempting aroma helping to bring you out of your sleep.

The first thing you saw when your eyes fluttered open was the four boys, laughing as they talked to each other.

Just seeing them smile took away a small amount of your pain. And that small amount meant a lot.

How do you act in a relationship? Why isn’t there a handbook on that? Actually, there probably is one. You just didn’t want to read it.

Yoongi was amazing. An amazing person, and an even more amazing boyfriend. But he was human too. He was only a young man, and you didn’t think he didn’t have any ideas on furthering the relationship.

He never said anything, of course. But you still wanted to know.

So, you waited until you were alone with him in the dorm.

Even though you approached him first, it didn’t prevent your shyness.

“I.. just want to say I get that you’re a person who can.. uh, manage yourself. But I want to..be with you. You’re a person and you have needs as well.”

He flushed red within seconds, mouth dropping open in surprise. “I.. I would never pressure you into something like that. I may be a man, but it doesn’t mean I need anything from you. It doesn’t mean you are required to satisfy me.”

You pushed your palm against his chest, feeling his heart face against your hand. “My.. my choice was taken from me. But now, right now, with you, I want to claim back my choice. I want to be with you. It’s my choice… and I choose you.”

Taking a deep breath, you were ready.

“Because I love you.”

His eyes widened, misty eyes filled with pure love. The words touched him deeply, warming his heart. “I-”

“You don’t need to say it back until you’re ready.” You reassured him.

Yoongi smiled, pulling you into a hug. “It’s not right, tonight. Baby, I appreciate you and what you’re saying so much. But tonight isn’t the right night for me to…” He coughed. “To give into my desires. I promise it’ll come soon enough. I won’t make you wait forever.”

You smiled into his shirt. “I would wait forever for you.”

Even though you spent so much time with the boys from BTS, you kept your promises to hang out with your own band. They all had a precious place in your heart.

You could feel your protectiveness slip out every time you were around them. Blocking sasaeng fan calls to their phones. Swatting away fans who jumped too close at the airports.

Cheering them up when they saw harmful comments wasn’t a chore for you. It was a blessing to say you could comfort them.

A bit like a mother bear.

No one was there for you in the past. When you were assaulted, there was no one to help you.

And they felt the love you had for them. They knew. Even when you didn’t live with them, you still cared for them. You would always look out for them.

You would never let anyone hurt your friends.

[innerartisanfan]

I’ve been tagged by @roombagreyjoy (forever ago) thank u😊

Rules: Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. Don’t cheat. Tag 10 (or however many) people.

Tagging: @trustmeimageographer, @faller1344, @topblurryface119, @flowrhippieprincess, @mm-better-not, @localvampirecryptid, @breadforhowl, @stupidest-username, @hollowxo

[[MORE]]

The shows I picked:

1. Sense8

2. POSE

3. Dear White People

4. Star Wars The Clone Wars

5. Avatar The Last Airbender

Who is your favorite character in 2?

Blanca Evangelista (on the right)

But to tell y'all the truth I would die for all four of them. And Pray Tell. And I'd be an Idiot not to stan Elektra.

Who is your least favorite character in 1?

Whispers. Absolute Motherfucker.

And Wolfgangs Dad.

What is your favorite episode of 4?

Y-you you want to make me choose???!!! Ok srsly I can't. There's too many!!! Anything with Ashoka in it. Or Padmé. Or the clones...

Maybe the one in Season 7 where *spoiler alert* Ashoka comes back to the squad and all the clones paint their helmets to fit her face tattoos bc that's thel last one I've seen so far and it had me fucking bawling.

What is your favorite season of 5?

Probably the 3rd one... bc that finale was too damn epic and I'm a sucker for happy endings and the squad being complete and it's just *chef's kiss*

They're all literally perfect but the third is the most satisfying to rewatch if I had to choose one I think.

Who is your favorite couple in 3?

Sam/Gabe!!! Particularly in the later seasons they're just,, couple goals who support each other.

Who is your favorite couple in 2?

Angel x Lil Papi 🥺 they're...

Just incredible!!!

What is your favorite episode of 1?

The last one cause

a) it's twice as long as the rest

b) the producers wrapped up all the loose plot points from being cut short aw hole fucking 3 seasons (for the sake of giving 13RW another season which I will be forever salty about fuck 13rw) so we could have a satisfying ending

c) HAPPY ENDING!!!

d) *spoiler* the good guys blow up the bad guys with a rocket launcher when they try to escape via helicopter

e) *more spoiler* LESBIAN WEDDING ON THE EIFEL TOWER AND ALL WAS WELL

What is your favorite episode of 5?

The Boiling Rock

What is your favorite season of 2?

2. S1 was epic too but they managed to put one on top of it.

How long have you watched 1?

Practically binged it in one go...

How did you become interested in 3?

The main character was used as a face cast for Hermione (and they were right so right)

Then Netflix promoted it a lil and there I went

Who is your favorite actor in 4?

Animated Ewan McGregor...

Nah, Jokes aside, the guy that voices literally all the clones - what a madman (the german one. it's the show of my childhood, so it's the only thing I don't watch in original when possible)

Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

Sense8, Pose or Atla??? Literally all of these own my ass...

I'm gonna go with sense8 but it's a close case

Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?

3 has more Episodes than 1 so...

If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

As a kid I always wanted to be Ashoka... now I think I'd rhather be some unknown extra living her best life somewhere where the war isn't...

But still like, force sensitive (it's just that the Jedi and Sith leave me alone)

Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

Spaceship lands in the Atla world and the Gaang goes on a Space adventure?? Sign me the fuck up.

There's some worldbuilding shit to be figured out but I really just want to imagine Sokka losing his goddamn mind over spaceships.

Would probably suck for Toph tho...

Also I need a scene where Padmé and Zuko talk Political Theory and War and Peace Ethics

Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?

Wolfgang and Dani. Badass Abuse survivors playing by their own rules...

Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

ATLA, no question.

Which has better theme music, 2 or 4?

Sorry Pray Tell...