#we didnt get a single beatles song in this episode

[terranceholdsapencil]

I've got a dog! He's called Fred!

My dog is alive he's not dead!

I love my dog, he loves me too.

I haven't got a cat only a dOg!

MY DOG, MY DOG, MY DOG, MY DOG

I've got a dog! I love my dog!

He's my dog he's not your dog. If you want a dog get your oOown!

[slaygentford]

I listened to every Beatles album in order so you dont have to and kept this record as I did. no one asked me to do this and honestly idk how I arrived at it it just sounded interesting after I exhausted the platters who I didnt think to record like this. also im at the point of school where you dont get homework anymore and I miss it so I made a report.

these are graded on a curve, that is, the ratings of each album are calculated in relation to the other albums. prior to this endeavor I had only heard the big beatles songs like in movies and on Wii rockband.

please please me: 3/5. highlight: twist and shout (sorry). lowlight: baby its you. thready ass vocals. leave it to people with talent with the beatles: 3/5. aesthetically identical to prev. highlight: you really got a hold on me. lowlight: please mr postman. why the fuck would you cover this. youre signing up to fail a hard day's night: 2/5. highlight: things we said today. lowlight: sadly, a hard day's night beatles for sale: im gonna keep it real. this sounds identical to albums 1-3 to me and I feel exactly no emotion about it at all. largely inoffensive. 2/5 help!: 3.3/5. highlight: help! killer bass. lowlight: the riff in I need you fills me with a burning, indescribable rage rubber soul: here we begin to experience the epic highs and lows of The Beatles discography. high highs: Norwegian wood and girl. low lows: literally everything else. 2/5 revolver: 3.5/5. these bitches finally woke up! highlight: I'm only sleeping, for no one, Eleanor Rigby is worth the hype, I want to tell you, tomorrow never knows. lowlight: dr robert -- flop attempt at satire. also whatever that one guy was doing to that poor sitar sgt pepper's: I came to a rude awakening when I realized that the wall would not exist without sgt pepper's. humbling. that being said, 0/5. I hated every single second of this. magical mystery tour: epic high following last album's epic low. 5/5. strawberry fields has a BASS DROP??!?!? no skips. I love this album. its such a time capsule as well of like one of the weirdest years in history. i can listen to this album and experience how my parents felt at 16. the callback to she loves you on the last track. I get it the white album: I dont get it. this album tested me like nothing else. I began to flag. I began to question the honor of my quest. I almost shut it off after nearly every song. but let me say: the highs are sweeping. SWEEPING. happiness is a warm gun. blackbird, Helter Skelter, while my guitar gently weeps, back in the ussr, revolution (which is satire which I just realized)... however, the lows are LOW. glass onion is bad; Julia is actually unlistenable (I broke and skipped it); wild honey pie is like getting a transorbital lobotomy; birthday has undone years of my therapist's work vis a vis suicidal ideation. Im so baffled by this I almost want to exclude it entirely. instead I calculated its good song to bad song ratio which landed the album as a whole at a solid D+ (69%)! but that seems like its ignoring the good songs which for any other band even ONE of those would be the song of their career. emotionally the experience was not unlike a bipolar mixed episode. 1/5 yellow submarine: this one was a movie soundtrack. something it has going for it is that it isn't the white album. 4/5 abbey road: yeah. 10/5. I cant even be flippant about this. you live a whole lifetime listening to this one. fine. let it be: set myself up to FAIL with this one. my dad was about to turn 18 the year this came out, which I only bring up because this is the only one of my dads beatles albums I kept. so of course I listened to the record and cried through let it be like a bitch. I like all the studio talking noise. 5/5 for sentimentality

rating overall: 43.8/65, about 66%. but I dont vibe w that honestly. I had a great time doing this and discovered some great music. I also cant ignore their historical significance and the insight it gave me into my parents' youth, which is probably the most interesting thing about the beatles. I choose to recuse myself from assigning a grade and instead, on a pass/fail scale, pass them.

reflection: they were so prolific in 10 years with wildly varying results, but it makes me feel like we need to all create more haphazardly and throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks instead of being so precious about it. because honestly, a monkey at a typewriter with that kind of output WILL eventually write something good. I also think it's the kill baby Mussolini principle in that even if you killed baby Mussolini there would still be the sociopolitical situation which gave rise to Mussolini. so if The Beatles never formed there would've been other band/s who evolved with the upheaval of the 60s who would now serve as this cultural touchstone. but this is what we got and thats quite interesting I think.

takeaway: I cant listen to another beatles song for at least 2 calendar years