#we could have such a great life in ny im going into cardiac arrest

[lettucing]

if i think too hard about schlatt living in new york i genuinely start tweaking out bc. we don’t know where in new york. i live in new york. what if he’s near me. he’s talked abt how he has deer, turkeys, and groundhogs in his lawn so he’s def not living in manhattan but like. does that mean he’s on long island. where on long island. does that mean he’s upstate. does that mean he’s up by new rochelle/westchester. WHERE IS HE.

another thing, i'm pretty much completely confident he’s from brooklyn (or at least wayyyy way upper long island) bc he’s talked abt driving/learning to drive on the belt parkway but the thing is. if ur in manhattan or any of the upper boroughs/surrounding areas ur ass is NOT gonna be on the belt pkwy bc it snakes around the whole bottom of brooklyn.