#we can’t expect Taylor - a survivor (long story short I survived) to owe the public a statement about John Fucking Mayer | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

please-picturemeintheweeds · 2 years ago

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I have Opinions about the discussion that pops up every few months about the ethics of labeling JM an abuser but I am afraid of the vague posts and anon hate I would get if I posted them 🫠 which probably means I should be brave and post them. Speak now or whatever she said lol

#this topic is so very nuanced in pretty much every possible way #and it is not nearly as simple as any of the takes I have seen so far about this #JM #tw abuse #abuse #c #trauma #there’s some sticky nuance around parasocial relationships and the nature of celebrity status #also the whole Thing about cancel culture and how labeling people abusers is steeped in carceral feminism and actively harms survivors #plus the value of learning language for your experiences and learning about what abuse is from pop culture #so there’s an important element of sharing information and learning about abuse as a way of empowering survivors who may not Know Yet #if we’re comfortable talking about the relationship dynamics in her love songs we need to be comfy talking about them in WCS and dear john #we can’t expect Taylor - a survivor (long story short I survived) to owe the public a statement about John Fucking Mayer #there’s legal garbage! he would SUE HER IF SHE SAID THAT #she is treading a very fine line with what she says publicly - something that most survivors also experience (but #her discography is quite literal with how she handles Trauma: flashbacks triggers insomnia paranoia trust issues etc #it’s all there and we need to be careful about paternalizing survivors and that is actually compatable with not buying into cancel culture #his actions as described by her + things he himself has said in interviews at various points are textbook abuse #and pointing that out is valuable.#telling john Mayer to kill himself on Twitter is Not Valuable.#she is not our little sister. she is a grown adult woman who is clearly processing her trauma #she has trusted her fans with her vulnerability and authenticity #and to brush it off and expect her to Perform Victimhood by making a public accusation against an extremely powerful man in her industry????#whoops I ranted in my tags but yeah it’s nuanced as hell #would’ve could’ve should’ve hours #would’ve could’ve should’ve #all that said!! I definitely understand and empathize with the sentiment of letting survivors tell their own stories and not forcing labels #In the hypothetical situation where she sees us discussing and learning from her art and her life story:#is that forcing something on her? or is that critically engaging with her art?#she said midnights is autobiographical and she said 19 and called him the devil who stole her girlhood come on

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