#we can now say that this has become fully
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I am so upset about this that I cannot just type this in the tags, I'm sorry.
Has anyone contacted his son, who is STILL ALIVE??? Richard Blair has been active in fighting against stuff like this online for a LONG TIME!
If anyone can prove this is real, PLEASE someone contact Richard.
Also, he set up a digital space in the Library at the University College of London that you can access A TON of fully & partially digitized works from George Orwell (his father, real name Eric Arthur Blair). If you are in the UK & have a library card, you can probably access everything. Unfortunately, I'm in the US, so I can't. I also don't have a library card anymore (our uni has an incredible free library to use with our student ID's oops 🥲).
Here is the link:
As someone who loves all things Orwell, this post seriously made my heart stop.
I just need this to be satire. I need this to be satire or a hoax or anything else. This desecrates everything Orwell stands for & he would be turning in his fucking grave knowing this monstrosity is going to hit the public. It makes a fucking *mockery* of everything Orwellian & is going to send the exact opposite fucking message he poured his entire life into sending. They are going to turn this into some kid-friendly, happy-go-lucky, pro-capitalist, AI-looking movie that is going to have people reading the book & being shocked it is the other way around.
But you know what? Maybe that's what we need.
Maybe we need people to get excited about reading Orwellian fiction. I didn't know who Orwell was until we studied 1984 in school. It shaped my entire childhood &, now, still shapes my adulthood. All his work & he, as a person, have shaped my very existence.
Then again, maybe they'll do exactly what Orwell wrote of. Maybe they'll just ban or alter his books to fit their narrative. Maybe it will devolve past newsspeak & thoughtcrime. Maybe we will devolve into an entire Fahrenheit 451 (by Ray Bradbury, pls read it) situation & we just won't be allowed to read books at all.
They already alter & ban books. They already alter movies & tv shows. They, being, whichever power be it at the top of each industry & the government itself. Any pro-capitalist monstrosity. The 1% want to stay the 1%, after all. And who the fuck are we to actually know the truth in any situation, even fictional? It is "just make believe", right? But, oh, how powerful fiction can be. Orwell proved that.
As begrudgingly as I say this...
Let this movie be made. Let everyone who knows nothing of Orwell watch it. And let them become interested in Orwell as a whole. "I didn't know this was what Animal Farm was about! Maybe I should read the book after all!" Yes. Yes, you should. And maybe it will open your eyes to an entirely different view of the world like 1984 did mine when I was a child. And maybe then we can start to fight back as a whole.
I'm so tired of this happening. I'm just so tired. I'm so fucking tired.
I guess this is what the new animal farm movie is going to look like huh...
#personal#I'm so mad i could scream#like i am physically nauseated by this#i am such a hardcore orwell fan & i just........#it makes me want to reread all his books & somehow commit them to memory#make a code that is unreadable to anyone but me & write out these books via this code#teach this code to my best friend#so if anything happens to me she can still read them#i mean#can you fucking imagine eric blair being alive in this day & age & seeing this happen#ugh#idk maybe richard will see this & do something#he has been active trying to fight for his father#i wish i could contact him#or someone else would#please#fuck me how is this even allowed to be made?#we are truly in the worst timeline
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
Lauki parallels: 1/?
Introducing my Lauki parallels series with "How can I trust you after this, Kieran?" from ep 43 vs "I trust you, Kieran. I'm not backing down." (ep 142)
There are so many callbacks to 43 in episode 142, and I love it. It really shows how much their relationship has grown. Back in 43, Lauren was angry and felt betrayed, and she also didn’t know who Kieran really was. But in 142, she knows the real Kieran. She understands the kind of person he truly is, she knows he's a good man. We can see in episode 136 that Kieran still feels guilty because of what he did to her in 43, and that he's terrified of something horrible happening to her, but Lauren takes his doubts and fear away (until he gets scared again in 151 after they faked Neyra's murder). By telling him she trusts him and wants to keep working with him, despite everything, she’s showing just how much things have changed. She’s fully aware of the danger and risks, but she still chooses to stand by him. I didn't screenshot all of it but I actually think that entire scene of her taking off his glasses and reaffirming her trust and commitment to their partnership is a great parallel to 43 where she lashes out at him and calls him a monster (and breaks off their deal afterwards).
Some extra thoughts: I think episode 142 works as a kind of emotional closure for what happened in 43—Lauren renews their partnership once again, they’ve grown closer and moved past that pain. But I do think it might come up again. If their relationship starts becoming romantic and they get more intimate, I can totally see Kieran having a moment of hesitation because of his guilt. Lauren’s actions already say a lot, but I still need her to tell him he’s not a monster. And now that she’s been kidnapped, his guilt is only going to get worse. He’s going to hate himself for not ending their partnership back then, for letting himself get even closer to her. So yeah, I think 43 could definitely resurface, both because of Kieran’s guilt and as something they’ll need to fully confront if their relationship moves forward romantically.
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
Please cry with me some more. Maomao’s Soliloquy.


The flowers you like have bloomed again in the usual place this year. The sound of those insects, which we listened to carefully while standing side by side, has also started. You used to listen closely and catch even my small voice. The destination hasn't changed, but where does the voice that disappears into the air go? Just a nod is enough, I want to hear it. I want to see your gently nodding smile. Without you, any word is just a soliloquy.



If I had noticed your hidden feelings that day, could I still have been in the world of dialogue between the two of us?
Even if the smile, the universal remedy, disappears, breathing continues. It will never fully heal, but the memories will become scabs. Even beyond the days of looking for the missing footsteps, I still can't manage to tame the nocturnal crybaby.



Knowing you for the first time allowed me to be myself. Even such important feelings, I wasn't able to convey them here, still unable to meet your gaze. Still now, I search for words that can be close to your heart, that day, in a world without answers. I blindly believed that the same tomorrow would pour down equally once again. The you who can't lie said "See you again" and waved, and I continue to believe in that image.


Just listen with a nod… I want to meet your gently nodding smile
Without you, any words are just mere monologue
I'm waiting without saying "goodbye" even if it’s hard,
Someday I want to give you a "welcome home" while looking into your eyes…
(This is a very rough Google-mirror translation, but you get the gist.)
PS:
Natsu Hyuuga tweeting this.
In the latter half, it was mentioned that the meaning of the theme song becomes clearer, but how about Yuuki-san's reading for the answer?
#the apothecary diaries#kusuriya no hitorigoto#maomao#shisui#loulan#soliloquy#Youtube#omoinotake#aoi yuuki#if anyone has a much better translation please do so#natsu hyuuga
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
so let me get this straight. when season 8 begins, a few months have passed and buck appears to be thriving in his relationship with tommy. meanwhile, he's still living in the same loft he's been living in since season 2. it's a bit of a bachelor pad, given the size and the lack of seperate rooms it isn't really a living space meant for more than one person. but there are decorations on the walls that weren't there before tommy, so at some point during this relationship buck's place visibly becomes more lived in after barely changing for years, even though they don't actually live together yet.
he asks tommy to move in with him, and that's when they break up (for unrelated reasons). buck has a home here, but perhaps he's finally outgrown it. he's a different man in a different stage of his life from when he moved in, it just doesn't feel right for him anymore. the loft feels even emptier now that he's alone, like it's missing something.
when eddie leaves for texas, buck offers to sublet his house so he can speed up the move to go be with his son. so buck moves out of the loft and he has his own house for the first time. he isn't able to unpack, isn't able to sleep there because it lives as a reminder that his best friend is gone, and it still feels like eddie's place, not his. he's sleeping at maddie's while he works up the courage to move in properly. this is the first time buck doesn't really feel like he has a home this season.
when buck runs into tommy again, tommy tells him that he drove by his place the other day and that he's been fighting the urge to call him for months. buck tells him that it's not actually his place anymore because he moved out, and invites tommy to see where he's (supposed to be) living now.
queue him and tommy crashing through the front door. queue "i never found home" playing in the background while they hook up. tommy doesn't even realise it's eddie's place until they're already inside and he's been backed up against the wall, too caught up in kissing buck and finally getting to be alone with him after the long, gruelling months they spent apart.
buck wakes up on the bare mattress on the floor where he and tommy slept, as he still hasn't even put up a bed frame (so clearly wasn't getting any closer to spending his first night there otherwise). he's happy to find tommy isn't gone, he's just in the kitchen cooking breakfast. tommy has started to unpack some of his things, there's food on his plates and in his pans and in his fridge sitting next to the champagne he bought. there's coffee, because tommy found his coffee maker in one of the boxes and set it up. and so in one night and part of one morning, tommy alone has started to make his house a little less eddie and a little more evan. buck tells him this was the best night he's had in this place. even after they fight and tommy leaves, buck is suddenly able to start unpacking properly and start sleeping there fully, because that one night where it felt like home was enough to make him realise he could make it there.
then eddie comes back to stay for the funeral (and buck gets shouted at by his guest in his own kitchen). eddie decides to move back to la, so buck moves out to let eddie and chris move back in again. while he's searching for a new place he says that the house never really felt like his anyway, he was just subletting. he wants his new place to be somewhere that doesn't feel lived in by someone else this time, that he can make his own. so for the second time this season buck doesn't feel like he has a home, this time because he very literally doesn't have his own place to live.
in conclusion, looking back over buck's arc this season and focusing on the theme of home, i think it's interesting to note that at the end we leave buck both homeless and tommy-less, and the one time in 8b buck felt at home was the night he spent with tommy. call me crazy, but one could almost believe these two things are related.
#IT'S BECAUSE TOMMY IS HIS HOME OKAY#here's to hoping they pick back up on this thread in season 9#911#911 abc#evan buckley#tommy kinard#bucktommy
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mindfulness & Presence: The Quiet Magic of Now 🌿
In witchcraft, we often seek signs — from the stars, the cards, the flame.
But some of the most powerful magic doesn’t come from tools.
It comes from being fully present in your body, in your breath, in this moment.
This is the essence of mindfulness: the sacred act of being here, now.
⸻
✧ What is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness is the practice of bringing your full attention to the present moment — without judgment. It originates from Buddhist teachings but has become a widely embraced tool for healing, focus, and emotional balance.
In magical practice, mindfulness allows you to:
• Notice subtle energies
• Stay grounded during rituals
• Connect deeper with your intuition
• Avoid casting or manifesting from a place of fear or distraction
Being mindful strengthens your personal power, because it reconnects you to your inner truth.
⸻
🕊 Why Presence is a Magical Act
So often, our minds spiral into the past or future:
regret, worry, comparison, overthinking.
This splits our energy and weakens our clarity.
Presence reclaims it.
Every time you stop, breathe, and notice, you’re calling your energy back to yourself.
You become more attuned. More intentional. More powerful.
“The more present you are, the more potent your magic becomes.”
⸻
🍃 Practical Mindfulness Magic (Witch-Friendly)
Here are ways to weave mindfulness into your daily spiritual practice:
1. Grounding Rituals
• Stand barefoot on soil or stone
• Visualize roots extending from your feet deep into the Earth
• Inhale deeply and say: I am grounded. I am held.
2. Intentional Actions
• Cleanse your altar in silence, focusing on each item’s energy
• Light candles slowly and with a purpose
• Stir your tea while focusing on the spiral
These aren’t chores — they’re mini-rituals of presence.
🌬 3. Breathwork Spell
Breath is life force — your most accessible tool.
Try box breathing:
Inhale for 4 → Hold for 4 → Exhale for 4 → Hold for 4 (repeat 3–4 times)
Do this before casting a spell, drawing a card, or journaling.
📿 4. Mindfulness in Divination
• Before pulling tarot or oracle cards, center yourself with a few deep breaths
• Speak your question aloud, slowly and clearly
• Observe how your body feels as you interpret the message
Your clarity increases when you’re present, not rushed.
⸻
🖋 Mindfulness Prompts (for Journaling or Meditation)
• What does my body need right now?
• What emotion am I resisting?
• What beauty can I notice in this exact moment?
• How does my breath feel?
• What part of me is asking to be heard today?
⸻
Mindfulness is not about perfection.
It’s not about clearing your mind or “doing it right.”
It’s about remembering:
You are not your to-do list.
You are not your anxiety.
You are not your past or your projections.
You are a soul in a body — and the present moment is your altar.
#mindfulness#witchblr#witchcore#witchcraft#witchlife#beginner witch#witch tips#white witch#grimoire#spirituality#book of shadows
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
So @jalebi-weds-bluetooth is back with her thoughtful & interesting IPKKND analysis and immediately sparking thoughts and conversations and in this case, long ass speculation posts. This is inspired by this post where she analyzes how Arnav's belief in Khushi's innocence shifted not all at once but in phases, with the dramatic First Shyam Expose marking the completion of the process. It inspired me to re-watch some scenes from Buaji's house terrace scene till Shyam's reveal at Shantivan and I wanted to make a post to try and untangle Arnav's thoughts in this confusing (and painful) period!
There's two parts of the Misunderstanding -
1) the what happened and
2) the what was Khushi thinking/feeling about it.
The former is actually easily proved via investigation and deductive reasoning. Its an outrageous story tbh but thats another conversation. I think when Arnav heard her sequence of events - that Shyam cheated her, lied to her family, that she ended it when she found out the truth, that she hates him - he knew there's a good chance its true because it's too big of a lie to risk telling him. The essential fact of Shyam's fraud is easily provable or disprovable so why would she lie about that.
But.......so what?
Khushi isn't exactly blameless even in the true sequence of events. She chose to hide the truth, a mistake Arnav cannot understand or sympathize with at all. When he asks her if Shyam is the villain and she the victim, then why did she lie, she takes a looong moment to answer because she isn't quite being honest even with herself about her motives for that lie.
The long silence (I think she's honestly thinking about the answer, for the first time) followed by her (not entirely truthful) answer that it was all for his Di...further sets off Arnav's suspicions about her motives through it all.
His essential (and pretty accurate) belief that Khushi isn't averse to lying, frequently lies to herself even, and can delude herself into doing wrong things for the "right" reasons stands against her in this moment. And moreover...it had become kind of irrelevant to Arnav what happened in terms of Shyam's sins. None of it would convince him of what had become much MUCH more critical - and what Khushi cannot manage to convince him of - did Khushi really love Shyam or Arnav? Who was in her heart back then and who was in her heart now? Could he forgive her for betraying him in the past? (Sidebar for the last part: I think there's a huge part of him that fantasized that after he told her the reason for marrying her she would confess, repent and express her desire to be with him and not Shyam and then they could be together somehow although in the unlikely event this happened, they would have been super toxic bc he'd never truly trust her fully even if he wanted her around desperately).
-----------------------------
So now we come to part 2) of the Misunderstanding - the "Fault in My Intentions" aka what was Khushi thinking/feeling part - and thats really not...provable with facts in any way.
That has to be taken on faith because the fact of Khushi hiding Shyam's truth for so long is too damning in his eyes. She says she hates Shyam, she STRONGLY hints she loves Arnav. He's desperate to believe her but he cannot precisely because he is that desperate and his Di's life is at risk here. He is doubling down on the following his head not heart path because he's so terrified of being cheated again, that he'll believe her unlikely story simply because of his strong feelings and the consequences of making an emotional decision that would destroy his and his Di's life. And unfortunately, from his point of view, there is no evidence to prove her love or innocence. Even if she WAS engaged to and then dumped a lying scheming Shyam...it doesn't automatically disprove Shyam's claim (backed by the unshakable memory of the terrace moment) that Khushi loves/loved him.
In this version of events, Khushi DID have feelings for her fiance Shyam, POSSIBLY even knew he was married when they were engaged, broke up with him due to either her belief in marriage + not wanting to be a mistress OR her family finding out and making her break up with him; but crucially, continued to harbour feelings for Shyam, led Arnav on while secretly longing for a married man, and planned/hoped to marry him after he was divorced, as late as Payash's wedding, now was regretting her choices and instead of taking accountability...was trying to cover them up.
All of that is consistent and possible with this new reveal of Shyam being her ex-fiance. All of that is consistent and possible with his knowledge of Khushi's character (check end of post for what I mean by this). The only thing that changes is that Shyam is an even bigger scoundrel than he previously thought but he truly does not care about that. Because it doesn't discount the possibility of Khushi being in love with Shyam all along and even now, lying to cover up. Her culpability could be either manipulative scheming home-wrecker as he initially believed or entrapped young girl fighting her feelings for an immoral married man (and refusing to admit to them due to shame). He isn't clear on that. Either way, Arnav's heart is still broken. Do you see? Its not about the 1) what happened. Its about the 2) what was she thinking/feeling? does Khushi love me like I love her? can i trust her not to hurt me or my family?
-----------------------------
So how can she prove what she was feeling? How can she prove she didn't love Shyam all along? Arnav has no real answers for this and neither does Khushi (expecting Shyam to defend her to Arnav was...dumb as fuck). She is desperate to prove, he is desperate to be convinced with proof, and increasingly angered by her bad attempts at it. It's a losing battle because the matter does not admit of proof.
So in this phase, the seeds of which are laid through the contract marriage, Arnav's Heart of course is 100% tortured by his love and longing for Khushi, by his pain witnessing her pain etc. But his Head is Confused AF, haunted by memories of contradicting moments of truth & lies regarding Khushi. He doesn't really believe she is a gold digger - he only says it to hurt her - if he really believed that, he wouldn't, for example, sign any damn thing she gave him to sign. Worst case scenario - she still loves Shyam, she's still playing games and acting for reasons beyond his comprehension. Best case scenario - she repents now her follies of youth etc; she has some attraction to him (he remembers Holi for the first time EVER at Buaji's house), and that combined with her strong sense of duty towards her married life & husband, and her natural tendency to want to be the Good Girl in her own head (he's pointed that out before about her) - results in her desperation to prove herself innocent in his eyes and explain away Shyam. It is not enough. Per his ASR ego and specific childhood trauma, even in the best case scenario, what she did is unforgivable and the dutiful loyalty and weak explanations she is offering are too pathetic to accept, especially considering his own intensity of feelings. It's his mother's death anniversary , further reinforcing the potency of the terrace memory in his head. This is in contention with the part of him which longs to forgive and move on, accepting whatever she has to offer to him now, lies and all, and live as real husband and wife. His heart is locked in conflict and he needs distance from it all to cope.
But then he turns around at the airport.
-----------------------------
His turning at the airport to come back to Khushi was the shift to his next attitude. He's much more firmly in this phase - "I'm still unclear about what happened in the past, but I don't care. What matters is that Khushi said she finds Shyam disgusting now. What matters is she said farq padta hai cuz its you."
Then being kidnapped and alone with his thoughts and feelings with no scope of running away, forces further honest self reflection, and he accepts that whatever he feels for Khushi is beyond logic and he will never be happy away from her. He admits he actually does not care what happened in the past. The only thing that matters is what they feel for each other now. Basically the pay off for Holi, for his Heer Ranjha speech which he remembers just before turning around. He's ready to love her and (if he miraculously survives being kidnapped) be with her despite still kiiiiiind of believing she WAS his didi ki saut at one point. His love is so powerful the rest doesn't matter to him. Which is twistedly romantic I guess.
Even after this I Love You, Arnav's heartbreak from the terrace moment has still not quite healed. He still believes that at that moment, he was madly deeply in love with Khushi, ready to fight all his demons to be with her, while she on the other hand was having merely tepid feelings for him, and conflicted feelings between two men, one of them being his sister's husband. That he loves her more than she loves him. This heartbreak is soothed a whole lot when Khushi clearly proves that whatever happened in the past, in present time, she DOES love him madly and truly - by risking her own life to save him multiple times. I don't know that anything less would have ever convinced him that the madness is truly mutual.
Arnav is now fully on board Team Never Talk About the Past, Focus on the Future. It doesn't matter she lied and played games, it doesn't matter he hurt and tortured her. What matters is their love. By the way, their stay in Buaji's house was the prelude to this conclusion - he was already contemplating fully accepting Khushi as his wife and treating her with the respect and care that position deserved, though nowhere being close to accept her as his love back then.
However all through Buaji's house, kidnap, even post rescue, he is still thinking of Shyam more as Khushi's ex, not her harasser. He still thinks she DID have feelings for Shyam at one point and maybe acted inappropriately due to that, albeit now she's over it and firmly in love with Arnav.
But then Shyam's utterly believable storytelling (it WAS, Shyam is an excellent liar) about Khushi being this immoral hussy etc - ironically opens his eyes. He realizes that his entire belief about Khushi's past feelings is based on Shyam's powerful storytelling. Till that very moment, he never unbelieved the story Shyam fed him about Khushi passionately loving Shyam at one point in her past. He only changed what he felt about it - from anger to avoidance to acceptance. It had become a core trauma re-inforced belief for the last 6 months, implacable thru all the questioning and doubts. He realizes finally that Shyam is NOT Khushi ka scandalous ex-love, her embarrassing mistake she's trying to hide and forget, her moment of weakness she needs forgiveness for, but rather her harasser and stalker.
They had a missed opportunity here to use flashbacks and show Arnav evaluating past events in light of fresh knowledge. He has an excellent memory especially regarding all things Khushi - as he admitted himself. Arnav should have recalled how Khushi was unhappy every minute of her engagement. How she showed her feelings for Arnav, to Arnav, long long before it was socially or morally acceptable to do so. And every other instance of proof that while he was right in judging her character he was wrong is judging her heart.
Because Khushi Kumari Gupta IS the kind of girl who would stupidly, delusionally, throw away every moral, social and self preservation consideration for the sake of a grand romantic love.
But the only man she has ever done all that for and will ever do that for - is Arnav Singh Raizada.
#ipkknd#Arnav accurately clocked that Khushi is the kind of girl who would blow up her life for Love (tm) no matter how red flag the man in questio#but he took a looooooong ass time to realize HE'S her forbidden alluring messed up one true love#not Shyam.#if there's one thing you can count on in this blog its a nice long word count in every post :D#i dont know how to edit!#also the screenshots lol 😭😪
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
APRIL ONEIL HEADCANONS TIMEEE!!!

This time we have…
Sports!
What sports are most likely part of my April 2012’s hobbies?
Roller Derby!
Now, now. You’ll be asking “Hey, Flarah. Why Roller Derby??? Why not martial arts?” BECAUSE SHE ALREADY DOES THEMMM. Let her have fun! Okay, listen, there is a little reference of why I like the idea of April being a roller derby sporting gal!
I totally see April being a freshmeat in the first season, she didn’t have the skills she had before! You can see the lack of coordination, both in fighting and alsoo…dancing…yeah…April is….quite curious when it comes about dancing. BUT, that makes it funny. Freshmeat gals really have to put skill in their performance! That’s why I see first season April barely skating in line, Constantly apologizing while accidentally elbowing people. Falling as if it was self-sabotage without being touched by others, probably having to sit out because she got dizzy and also slapped someone with a water bottle on accident…. But still having that stubborn determination! But what about after she becomes kunoichi? After she has all the time of the world after finishing the whole series and winning their last battle? She would probably rock the races! She is agile, stronger, and more coordinated! She would totally kick-ass!
I remember I had my doubts on my headcanon because she had no balance on ice skating (when she beat Krang with Casey at the ice rink) but she became more agile and stronger through the series (as repeated many times before Lolll), she would be cool on roller derby. Probably if she had a better diet and (because remember they never really got a big meal or healthy meals, that I could remember, when invasion and city in war or Space arc happened) idk, more chance to practice sport she would be a great skater. Not all roller derby player girls have the same psyche, a lot are slim and others are more thick but they have muscle and strength in key points of their bodies like their legs and arms. That’s why now I stand my headcanon since roller derby girls can be both chubby or slim but have the strength to break a bone because their training and diets. But again, mentioning the diet, you guys think they ever ate normal after the series? April would totally start eating more healthier than before. Since they train in martial arts, and they need nutrition. She’s not naturally strong as the turtles because she is not really a mutant (fully mutant) like them. She is a hybrid. Alien hybrid. But still human. She needs to eat like one too.
Also…I don’t believe she is 5’1
If that, I see her body being like… a little bit ripped, in the last seasons due the fact of her nutrition and muscle but also standing the point she is 18-19 at the end of the series because she was 16 and SUPPOSEDLY the invasion happened months later after the first season and they went to Space, trained and all that crap. I don’t think April could become a kunoichi in just a year soooo (still having doubts on this one, but is my version of tmnt 2012 so kets say this is the timeline💔)
I headcanon she is at least 5’5 in the last seasons due cuz she was just a little bit smaller than her dad. It doesn’t make sense. She is also a little bit smaller than Donnie and Casey.


#tmnt 2012#tmnt#tmnt april#tmnt fanart#tmnt headcanons#april o'neil#2012 teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt april 2012#april 2012#tmnt 2012 headcanons
17 notes
·
View notes
Text

bill has been consuming my life
#bill cipher#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#bill cipher fanart#bill cipher art#sketch#digital art#my art#davidzochi art#i was doing some homework and it says we can use a character we want and i dont have a choice i really dont!#i been doodling bill nonstop once a day for months now fully consuming my life#unironically he has become my muse#not sure if i will clean up this sketch but i think he looked very silly#going ´´oh will you do your project about silly old me?´´ as if i have a choice#gravity falls art#i have a bunch more of sketches but they are all traditional? i could upload them!
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
nobody touch me i just read kj encore and SO NO ONE'S GONNA FUCKING TALK ABOUT HACHI COMPETING WITH JOKER TO BECOME A THIEF???????
#fweeet#kaitou joker#FUCK YOU AND YOUR POSSESSED PHOENIX MY BOY IS GETTING!!!!! CHARACTER!!!!! DEVELOPMENT!!!!1111111#/lh phoenix holy shit are you okay#POSSESSION THIS PHOENIX THAT KJ ENCORE CAME OUT A MONTH AGO AND NO ONE BOTHERED TO TALK ABOUT THE FACT HACHI'S GROWING UP???????????#SHAME ON ALL OF YOU#(says the world's most deranged hachi fan)#kaitou joker encore#theres no official translation so i had to guess using google translate and whatever chinese characters i could pick out from the kanji#but i think its very likely that kje's gonna be centered more on hachi than anyone else#the first big page (p sure its the promo art we saw before chapter 1 dropped) has some pink text that no one in the discord can make out#but i think its translating into something like 'wanting to become fully-fledged'??????#and another line that is just a mess of words like 'colourful' 'boy' 'final days/final test(???)' 'adult'#so yeah best guess is something about hachi wanting to quickly grow up and his final days before being a fully fledged thief#someone who can read japanese save us 😭#BUT YEAH THEY KNOCK JOKER OUT AT CHAP 2 SO DEFINITELY NOT GONNA BE ABOUT JOKER AT LEAST FOR NOW?????#LIKE HACHI'S GOING BASICALLY SOLO THIS BOY IS GOING PLACES😭#do you know how loud i cheered when i saw him dodging the same fucking spike trap he fell into twice before#AND THEN FIGHTING OFF LASERS BY HIMSELF 😭😭😭😭#MY BOYS GROWN UP😭😭😭😭#its so weird but also... kinda satisfying? he was meant to be a relatable character to the audience as a rookie who messes up#and BY GOD did i relate to him as a kid#but know ive grown up and its kinda nice to see he's also grown???? idk its just neat
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
I still think obey me would have had an easier time writing better characters if they had actual routes (includes harem route) and better story segment to rhythm game ratios
#An essay by me#I want the story to rhythm game ratio to be closer to twisted wonderland so i can actually enjoy the story!#i like the rhythm aspect#its way more fun than in the original game#and the music is catchy! but every 2 minutes to progress is kinda urghhh#and yes we can have 1 on 1 routes and harem routes in the same game!#it doesnt have to be one or the other#now you've calmed down the people who are either sick of mammon and lucifer or love satan and asmo lol#people who like the side characters can get their juice too instead of crawling under the couch for crumbs#and people who like romancing everyone at once are still happy#AND ALL the characters will become more well rounded because everyones not limited to their 1-10 seconds of screentime#nb has been doing a good job with giving the characters depth but im scared what might happen in the future#is the game just gonna go on forever with no planned ending?#im sure this is a topic people are tired of but its my blog okay!#i pretty much treat this as a public journal#and i love latching onto stuff i think has potential but never fully reaches it#what im saying is be more like mystic messenger lol#obey me#obey me nb
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
i got the cutscene <3
#its actually crazy that there was even more content i missed that impacted the story this much#like this rlly illustrated how even tho my character and astari0n have both become better people astari0n is still so behind in that#(we know why ofc. hes still acting like a feral cat trying to self preservere with teeth and nail and all until the very end; the ritual)#my character had his most obvious 'shifting point' at the transition from act 2 to act 3#like he fully realized that this is now truly bigger than himself. he has left marks on the lands and he has to go all the way#he has made true friends. one of his best friends is the kindest most compassionate person in the world#and very importantly he loves astari0n and THAT is the reason he now feels this actual compassion towards the other spawn#hes so personally invested in this issue now#and he can say that 'the world can be a wonderful place if you find your home in it astari0n' bc its something he has just recently had#a personal revelation abt#and astari0n deflects it and describes my character as someone who now 'spends their life sorting out other peoples problems'#and it rlly brings it to focus that he just cannot meet him where hes at anymore#just great conflict that feels actually meaningful and perfectly fits into the roleplay storyline ive made for my character#and omg the line 'im doing this for you too you know. to make sure were both safe. forever' from astari0n is just AAAAAAHDJJDJD. CRAZY#bc we know how toxic he becomes towards you if he completes the ritual!!!!!!#HHHHH this character!!!!! hes just MWAH. perfection#i cant wait until i get to doing the szarr palace again bc this added conflict will make the conclusion of this quest even more satisfying#anyway TOTAL tonal shift time. in start of the cutscene astari0n is standing next to the bed my character was sleeping in#so i can now have the hc that some nights they sleep in the same bed <3#(WELL. you know. my character sleeps while he meditates)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why am I even so desperate for this. Out of all the things that I could get stubborn determination over why is it this. Is it because I know the end result would bring me so much silly enjoyment that my brain has sheer will to want to get to that? Why am I. Even so glued to getting a dumb 3D model of him to mess with. Is it cause it gives me something to do? Something to accomplish or fail at or to just not be wasting away time?
#okay congratumalations ive officially reached the crisis stage.#yeah after my test experiments it.. isnt looking so good. might have found some unopenable files. where all the goods are hiding.#most the goods. at least i have one file of strangeglove_taunt and it's just his dumb evil laughter cackling.#maybe i just really badly want to get my grubby hands on him in some capacity.#maybe. just maybe. it is absolutely over for me. there's no end jn sight. everything i said wouldnf happen has happened with him.#Jinxed myself right into falling face first right down in front of him. and now here i am. this is it and there's nothing i can do-#-but accept it. im a weirdo over him. he's ruined my blog. after several months of back to back whiplash of tripping into-#-different fandoms and getting hit by several so. so many busses of emotions. it might just end here.#full circle..Moshi Monster TV commercials that i saw and not being able to play the game cause nay... was not my time yet....#and now that I've become all that I am I can thuroughly and properly appriciate him and all his glory.#��Why am i even in denial? i know no one here minds” i say. knowing fully well this is an internal personal issue from Other Things.#whateeevvrvrrrrrrr im not going to get out of denial by saying that i dont like him.#this is my PDA. My shameful PDA at least. i dont even remember who i was or how i used to be anymore.#Go to work. think about strangeglove. get home. strangeglove. listen to music. strangeglove.#Doesnt he have somewhere else to be. possibly anywhere else.#i have other thoughts he is. just. such a . dominanting onr. njfjfffffrrrrguguy#maybe. maybe this had to happen. yes. i had to go on this deadend fruitless search for his 3D model.#just so i could have this moment of accepting defeat.#perhaps defeat in the game files isnt the only thing here. maybe im accepting and caving in to something else here....#or maybe. just maybe. im a silly billy.#is everyone still with me here. have i lost yall yet. is this. are we still even on Tumblr anymore. where am i.#what am i doing anymore. what DO i do anymore. am i supposed to just LOVE him OPENLYm#Pah! perposterous!!! as if that is the purpose of this blog!!!!!!@!@#okay im going to have to embarass myself to get over this. maybe late night thoughts Kane was onto something.#Are we still speaking english anymore. was the demographic for this post myself.#strangeglove💙💜#<- cause of the problem this is going in his tag so help me.
1 note
·
View note
Text
so many people have told me to get a restraining order on my ex….
#not sure how many times i will have to block them but it needs to stop#i really don’t want to but it’s becoming a problem#going to different blogs to message me was already *a lot*#but stalking my spotify is a whole new level#thinking that i’m personally communicating with you through the songs i add to my playlist is not normal#looking at my spotify followers and thinking i asked someone to follow me specifically to make you jealous?#i promise#this post and my last post where i asked you to stop contacting me are the only ones directed at you#i can’t do anything else at this point to keep you from coming here to my blog#so if you read something here and think it’s a post directed at you to make you jealous or think i’m communicating with you#in some convoluted way‚ i promise i am not#i’m not hooking up with anyone to get back at you or make you jealous#i’m simply just living my life without you in it#the longer this goes on the more i know i made the right decision#if anything this behavior has pushed me fully out the door and away from you#i’m pretty sure i’ve fully blocked you everywhere now#so please for the love of god just leave me alone#i’ve even been scared you were going to come into my work#they passed your picture around at a manager meeting so all managers and security know what you look like#just in case#i want to say you’d never come in but i honestly did not think you’d act this way either so i’m not even sure anymore#managers have requested i get a restraining order so that they can refuse you entry since we don’t have a ban list#but i really don’t want to take it that far#please just stop#not sure if you will read this but this will be the last time i will ask before having to go to the courthouse#i have screenshots of everything saved and have been advised that everything you have sent me will be enough to count as harassment#not sure where else you’d be able to message me but please just stop finding a way#blocking your other blogs when you tried messaging me on them should have been the first sign to just leave me alone#your number is blocked and social media is blocked#now stop
0 notes
Text
monday night i decided to rewatch poor things instead of sleeping and it is the best decision i've ever made in a long fucking while
#ohh these tags will be so embarrassing but i have to vomit it all out#but urgh it makes me happy in ways nothing else can which is just insane#it truly is like. my movie soulmate#is that an offense punishable by the moral police. if so then too bad. and tbh its pretty tame compared to some other stuff ive seen lol#it was the best movie theatre-going experience in my (admittedly still short life) but i doubt anything will ever top it ANYTIME soon.#i saw it three times in theatres and like didn't rewatch it until now even if it's my favourite#big mistake i know if i watched it more id be happier#plus i finally saw it with subtitles and since i missed a bit of dialogue without those i'm even happier#like after watching it i realised it spoke to me so much because i'm autistic#and that's true but it also has so fucking much to say about humans and society and just urgh#it's just the way that bella is representative of what humans look like when they haven't been taught all the hatred and misanthropy#that is taught to us as we grow up and how she never let go of her compassion#above all it's humanist. it says pretty straightforwardly that we can improve! there is hope!#and i didn't even fully realise that until the rewatch at home.#and it's all covered with horniness insane cinematography and visuals some great comedy#it was just made in a lab for me and upon my first ever watch i went in blind not knowing it would become This to me#and it hit hard enough in a theatre but ohhh watching it alone at past midnight hits even harder#i admit ive been feeling bad lately (though i can't describe my emotions well) and it improved my mood so much#of all things that couldve been it it has become a huge comfort movie#swiss army man/eeaao also having a great raunchy comedy/emotional devastation make them greatly comforting to me also#but poor things is such a special and specific brand of comfort...#oh wow so much embarrassing yapping ill stfu now#nonsense
0 notes
Text
"The average pediatric wheelchair can cost thousands of dollars. And when children grow and their needs evolve — or a wheelchair gets damaged — those costs multiply.
So, the team at MakeGood NOLA, a New Orleans-based adaptive design lab, has made something that can transform the world for disabled children.
“Introducing the world’s first fully 3D-printed wheelchair,” MakeGood founder and president Noam Platt started a recent social media video.
He wheels a small, almost toy-like lime-green wheelchair into the frame, complete with a matching harness, suitable for children ages 2 to 8.
“Everything from the body, to the wheels, to the tires, the seat, and even the straps, all were 3D printed on a regular Bambu Labs A1 machine,” Platt continued.
This means the design is fully compatible with a regular 3D printer anyone can have in their home.
“We designed this to be modular and easy to make,” Platt continued. “Really, anyone with a 3D printer and some filament can download the files and print it.” [Note: You can also use 3D printers for free or a small cost at some public libraries and maker spaces, opening up accessibility even further.]
Once the prototype is completely finished, it will be available as a fair-use download that anyone can use for free.

Pictured: The new 3D-printed chair by MakeGood. Photo courtesy of MakeGood NOLA
Platt said that because it has a modular design, the wheelchair can be put together without any tools or glue. And if any part of it breaks or is damaged, users can simply re-print the single piece they need.
“As a wheelchair user I love everything about this,” TikTok user @thisisharlie commented on Platt’s video debuting the wheelchair.
“Mine costs more than my car, I can’t imagine having to buy a new one every year or two as they outgrow it,” @thisisharlie continued. “You’re going to change the world.”
For Platt, that’s always been the plan.
When he created MakeGood in 2021, the nonprofit design lab was thinking of the more than 1 billion people around the globe who live with disabilities.
“Since traditional design often overlooks diverse bodies and minds, it is crucial to reshape the built environment,” MakeGood shares on its website. “The challenges our communities face — both physical and social — are solvable.”
MakeGood works with individuals to co-create their adaptive design solutions, centering the “Need Knower,” the disabled person or their primary caregivers, throughout the entire process.
Since the founding of MakeGood, 1,600 individualized adaptive devices have been delivered to families for free. Platt’s team found a niche with this wheelchair, which they call the Toddler Mobility Trainer, or TMT.
On its website, the organization says the wheelchairs were “designed with therapists from all over the world” and offer “unmatched mobility and independence to young kids.”
Children and parents agree.
“It’s an A+,” one parent said of an earlier prototype of the TMT in a report by CBS News. “It’s helped [my son] become more mobile and be able to adapt into the other things that he’s going to be offered. It’s helped his development.”
At the start of the design process, Platt reached out to area hospitals to see if he could fill a need.
“Part of it is empowering clinicians that we can go beyond what is commercially available,” Platt told CBS News. “We can really create almost anything.”
Now in the final stages of tweaking the TMT design to be ready for release, Platt is eager to get the wheelchair rolled out and into the homes of the children who need them most.

Pictured: A rendering of the 3D printed design, which will soon be available for download. Photo courtesy of MakeGood NOLA
“We think this sort of 3D printing and design is going to be huge for accessibility, and for wheelchairs specifically,” Platt said in his social media video.
In the meantime, people can request a free chair from MakeGood.
“We have a growing list of people who’ve requested these, and once we finish the design, we’ll start filling those requests with custom-printed chairs, including things that you might need for your particular chair,” Platt said in a follow-up video.
Because the chairs are easily 3D printed, they can come in any color and can be modified to include other accommodations, like a section to hold a breathing device or other aid. With years of customization and design experience under his belt, this new innovation is simply an extension of Platt’s dedication to inclusive design.
In 2023, Platt told New Mobility: “I feel like every time I deliver one of these [assistive] devices, I get a hopeful feeling that the world has been changed a little bit for the better for the next generation.”"
-via GoodGoodGood, May 8, 2025
#wheelchair#disabled#disability#physical disability#disabled children#3d printing#public health#accessibility#mobility aid#accommodation#united states#louisiana#new orleans#nonprofit#north america#good news#hope
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
friendly banter — bucky barnes
summary: sam asks for your help on a mission. you're reunited with him, Joaquín and Bucky. the last one really likes to banter. you think it's just a friendly exchange. it's actually a bit more than that
pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader (+ platonic friendships with sam and joaquín)
word count: 5k
tags: friends to lovers, sharing feelings (awkward but cute), reader is a hacker and former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, fluff, undisclosed feelings (mutual), kissing
note: this was kind of a mess but i'm back after a long time on not writing any fics! i'm currently in my last months of studying to become a lawyer (yay) and writing fics has proven to be very therapeutic during this time. this may or may not suck but i enjoyed writing it so i hope you enjoy it
please reblog and/or comment if you enjoy!
all masterlists | marvel masterlist | part 2 (features the thunderbolts* now)
"Got eyes on it?"
You stop walking as soon as you hear that question, staring ahead in disbelief. "You mean...the huge panel in the middle of the room?" you ask with obvious sarcasm, trying to speak as quietly as possible through your comm as you make your way further inside the darkened room.
It’s a typical security room with tons of cameras pointing to every corner of the building. To your relief, the presence of your group is apparently still unnoticed as your eyes wander across the various screens in front of you, noticing no commotion or an unnecessarily large group of unfriendly-looking guys rushing to find you. The large panel control installed in the middle of the desk before you is the thing that immediately gets your attention as you walk closer, always keeping in mind the task at hand.
All you really have to do is hack into the system to disable the security protocols long enough for Sam and Joaquín to sneak into the top floors of the building to retrieve the data that they wanted from the bad guy's records in order to find out more about the gang they'll be (hopefully) putting behind bars soon.
This is not the first and definitely not the last time you'll be doing these kinds of favors for Sam. Your friendship goes way back, when you were still a nobody at S.H.I.E.L.D. that somehow managed to get on Captain America's good graces after that whole Washington fiasco. You're still unsure why Steve always thought so highly of you. Then again, he was the type of guy who never failed to see the potential in other people, even when they couldn't quite see it themselves.
Now, you get to help the new Captain America, who's also as dear to you as the previous one was...perhaps just a tiny bit more annoying, but one of your dearest friends regardless.
As you rush over to the panel, you have to jump over the unconscious body of a security guard that Bucky (another dear friend you met thanks to Steve) took care of before you walked inside, quickly taking a seat in front of the large keyboard to start doing your part of the job.
You hear the unmistakable chuckle from Joaquín as you quickly type in a series of codes and commands. "Jeez, I missed having you on our missions!"
"Awwh!" you mutter with genuine endearment. "I missed being part of these missions too, buddy!"
"And we're still going out for drinks after this, right?"
"Are you genuinely asking me that, Joaquín Torres?" you ask, sounding overly offended on purpose.
You hear him laugh again, but before he can say anything back, you hear Bucky interrupting the exchange. "How about we focus on not getting caught here and then you guys can discuss your night plans?"
"Uh-oh, old man got upset," you joke soon after, finishing to type in the last few codes to fully disable the security system. Surely they have some backup protocol that would soon trigger the alarm to alert these guys of an unwanted visitor, but by then all of you will be long gone. It really is a very simple mission.
"He's jealous you're not taking him out for drinks," Sam jokes back, and then you immediately hear Joaquín agreeing with him.
It's a normal occurrence for Sam to be making those kinds of jokes involving you and Bucky. He has been making those types of remarks for as long as you can remember, fully convinced the two of you "have something going on" as he has put it before. You really try not to think too much about it because, first off, Sam loves to say shit just for the sake of pissing you and Bucky off and, second...you really don't want to let those comments get to your head.
You don't want to let yourself wonder about the what if's of that. There was a time in your life when you did allow yourself to fantasize about the possibility of actually "having something going on" with him, but you learnt to shut off that part of your brain in order to avoid getting your hopes up regarding a situation that just wouldn't happen outside your imagination. Hearing Sam’s silly remarks would only bring you back to those days.
Bucky has been one of your best friends for years and he has never shown the slightest of hints that he might be interested in you in the way you would like (at least not that you're aware of), and there was absolutely no way that you would ever make the first move and risk embarrassing yourself in front of him or, even worse, losing the friendship you two have. You eventually just got comfortable in the abyss of eternal friendzone and learned to accept it. If there was ever going to happen something between the two of you, surely it would've happened by now.
Still, Sam seems to be holding onto that rope for dear life and refuses to let it go. You can't deny it’s a bit uncomfortable to hear those jokes though. They somehow make you feel like somehow you got caught and everyone knows you have a secret crush on Bucky, but you've learned to adapt over the years.
"First part's done.” Leaning back on the chair, you watch the percentage bar on the screen before you, completely ignoring Sam's little joke. "A few more seconds and you're up guys!"
"Hallway’s clear," you hear Bucky say, still guarding the room where you're currently in. "How much time do we have to get out of here?"
"Uh...I can't say for sure. Anywhere near five to thirty, maybe?"
"Minutes?"
"Seconds."
"Oh, great," he mutters ironically.
"Well, I'm sorry. We're hacking into a very sophisticated system that I don't entirely know how it works!" you snap back at him. "Besides, the whole point of this is to give Joaquín and Sam enough time to sneak inside without having to deal with a bunch of guards going straight for them. Bad guys will know we're down here and they'll come looking for us first."
"Isn't hacking your whole thing? How do you not know how it works?" he asks, and just by the tone of his voice you know he's trying to piss you off, because he knows that's exactly the type of comments that would make you upset. If that type of comment came from a stranger you would be strangling them right now, but it’s Bucky, and he seems to enjoy annoying the shit out of you.
"Big talk coming from someone who still asks for my help because he barely knows how to unlock his own phone."
The sound of his faint chuckle immediately makes you smile, perfectly picturing the way he's probably rolling his eyes just barely right now, trying to suppress a smirk as if you could possibly see him right now, knowing he hates when you point it out to him.
"You have to give me some credit, though. I know how to program emails on that thing now. Soon enough I'll be taking your job, so you better watch out."
You can't help but laugh at his reply, slightly shaking your head as you realize you’re getting distracted by him, trying to keep your focus on what you're supposed to be doing right now rather than indulge in a never ending back-and-forth with him. As soon as you type the last codes and the large SECURITY SYSTEM: DISABLED alert pops on the monitor, you quickly rise up from your seat. "You're up guys, hurry!"
"On it!" Sam replies as you rush outside the room.
Before he even says anything to you, Bucky is quickly guiding you down the hallway with the intent of getting out of there as soon as possible, turning to look at you with a confused expression when you stop walking and, instead, start yanking his arm to go in the opposite direction.
"What are you doing?"
"The exit is that way," you point out as if it’s obvious.
He looks even more confused now, and slightly annoyed. "Don't think so. That's the way we entered, but there's another way of leaving this place a lot faster."
"No, we can't change the plan!"
He definitely looks annoyed now, trying not to snap at you. "I'm not changing the plan. Exiting that way has always been the plan. If we go that way, we'll-"
Before he can say anything else, the loud sound of an alarm blasts through the entire building, signaling that you've been discovered and you'll be having company very soon. As if that wasn't enough, the door of the room you were previously in opens violently, and the guard that was previously unconscious on the floor is frantically alerting more people through his radio.
“Oh, that’s great,” you point out, slightly panicking right now because you’re still inside the building. “You decided to wake up early, huh?”
Bucky immediately grabs the guy by his bulletproof vest to throw him against the wall, taking his barely regained consciousness to his advantage. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice about six other guys coming towards you, turning around the same corner you wanted to run towards as part of your escape plan. Sadly, that's when you realized maybe the direction Bucky was suggesting was better.
You’re unsure of what to do now. It's not like you haven't been taught how to take down a few bad guys, but your specialities have always involved computers rather than physical combat. Almost as if he could read your mind, Bucky turns towards you for a quick second. "Go! I'll catch up to you." Again, almost as if he knew that you'd try to ask if he was sure about it, he immediately shouts yet another "Go!" before you're finally deciding to do as he says, running down the hall in the direction he has intended to go before.
Hours later, second after second that passes by, you’re more and more convinced that you'll never hear the end of it. If only you could go back in time and just agree with Bucky's plan rather than trying to argue with him. It would have spared you a lifetime of him reminding you how he was right and you were wrong.
Turns out his exit plan was the one you should've followed all along, because it actually led to the engine room which immediately meant being in a much less crowded part of the building to escape without risking bumping into more people.
All of you had enough time to change into something more comfortable to go out for drinks. Initially it was something you and Joaquín had planned alone, but evidently the two of you didn’t hesitate to invite Sam and Bucky. Of course they accepted the invite, and of course Bucky has done his very best to keep reminding you of your little mistake.
"Listen, if you don't want shit like that to happen again, just let me know your plan beforehand."
"But I did let you know. The problem is that someone is not really a good listener."
"No. Letting me know- like, properly letting me know, would've been telling me before we got inside that building."
Bucky smirks as he leans back on his chair, and it's obvious to you he's really enjoying this banter. "Plan changed at the last minute. If you would've just followed my lead, we could've left that building a lot faster."
"Ah, so you do recognize that wasn't the original plan!" you exclaim with a triumphant grin, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "You changed it all by yourself and didn't tell me."
"Changed at the last minute," he repeats, as if to correct you. "You wanted me to stand there and explain every detail to you?"
"Oh, as if explaining it would've taken you hours! You’re always so dramatic."
"Children," Sam commented, interrupting the banter with an unamused expression. "I had to trust the operation to literal children."
Bucky scoffs at that comment, watching as Sam lets out a chuckle, shaking his head after witnessing this whole interaction between the two of you.
"Kinda makes you appreciate having an actual professional around, huh?" Joaquín says right after, flashing a charming smile in Sam's direction.
"Oh, please!" you, Bucky and Sam reply in unison, earning an offended look from Joaquín.
Soon after, Bucky is speaking again. "You know what? I'll give you some credit. You managed to do your part of the job…decently."
It’s obvious he wants a reaction from you, but even if your banter is entertaining, you know you can't keep bickering the entire night. Once again, you can’t help but to feel embarrassed, as if everyone at that table knows your little secret regarding your feelings towards Bucky. As if some innocent banter between friends could ever give it away. Besides, the four of you are here to celebrate your mission was a success, and the fact that you haven't seen the trio in a long time makes it the perfect opportunity to catch up.
Pretending to fully ignore his last comment, you turn to look at Sam from across the table. "You. I haven't seen your lovely face in a while," you start, watching him physically get ready for whatever silly comment you might come up with. "Tell me what you've been up to...I've seen the photos of you shaking hands with the President," the reference to Everett Ross sounding anything but endearing.
Sam sighs, shrugging. "Yeah, well, I guess you can say it's part of the job," he simply replies before taking a quick sip of his beer. "I can't say I'm thrilled about it, but I figured it's best to compromise a bit and keep the man happy. As long as he stays in line, I'll cooperate."
"Of course you're not thrilled about it, Sam. That's the same guy that put your ass in a prison in the middle of nowhere like you were some kind of top security criminal!" you reply almost immediately, still in disbelief at the revelation of any sort of alliance between him and Ross. Sam's expression lets you know that even he is still conflicted about it, not really knowing what to say. After taking a brief pause, you try to say something else to lighten the mood, not wanting him to think like you’re judging him for it. "Hey, I understand having to keep up appearances. I get it. And please accept my deepest condolences for having to deal with that piece of shit."
Your last comment makes the three of them laugh, and Bucky takes the opportunity to change the subject. "And what have you been up to?" he asks, sounding genuinely curious. "It's been a while since any of us has seen you."
"Well, my life has been all over the place the last few months. As all of you know, I moved into a new apartment. I loved my roommate, but I felt it was time to just live by myself, you know?"
"So no plans of leaving New York to move to D.C., huh?" Joaquín asks with a smile.
You return the smile immediately. "As fun as it would be to live closer to all of you weirdos, no. I plan to stay in New York for now. I'm just really comfortable there with the new apartment, the promotion I got a few months ago, the fact that most of my family and friends are there..."
"But not all your friends," Sam quickly points out, pretending to sound incredibly offended by your last statement. "But since we’re talking about friends and just social life in general...are you still single?"
"Why are you always so interested in my love life?" you joke with a playful grin, taking a sip of your margarita to leave him wondering the answer just a few seconds more. "Yes, I'm still single. Queen's full of creeps," you added shortly after. "Are any of you seeing anybody?"
"Proudly and happily single," Joaquín replies, raising his drink up as if to cheer before taking a sip.
Sam gives him a very visible side-eye. "Yikes," is all he says regarding that, turning back to you. "I'm not interested in dating right now, to be honest. I’m quite a busy gentleman, you know?"
“And you say ‘yikes’ to me?” Joaquín says immediately after, looking dumbfounded.
You chime in before any of them could add anything else regarding that. “Bucky?” you ask, turning to look at him as you await his answer.
It was a bold move to directly ask him that question. On one hand, you know Bucky has always been a loner so you’re almost certain that he’s single. But there’s always that tiny percentage of probability that you’ll learn a truth you’re not sure how you’ll handle. He’s your best friend, of course you’ll be happy if he’s happy…but the idea of him revealing to you that he’s dating someone might actually make you physically sick.
You notice Bucky gets uncomfortable right away. “I’m single too.”
The pleasant feeling of relief lasts just a few seconds. The fact that Sam laughs at Bucky’s reply has your mind spinning, not understanding why he would laugh at that. Why the fuck is he laughing? Should you start panicking already?
"Actually, our buddy has been on a few dating apps, I believe."
Oh no.
Even when you try to remind yourself not to care about anything remotely romantic involving Bucky- or at least, not to care more than a platonic friend would, you can deny the news of him possibly dating someone or even just randomly talking to any person in those apps makes your stomach turn. It really wouldn't be dramatic to claim that you could quite literally throw up right now at the thought of him and someone else right now.
It's not common to hear any sort of updates regarding Bucky's love life because...well, there's never any developments. He's never shown interest in anyone, and as far as you know he's never had any sort of relationship with anyone like that– serious or casual. What if he's interested in exploring that part of his life now? What if he has found someone already and you're about to hear him talk all about them? It makes you genuinely sick, but you try your best to act as unbothered as you possibly can, forcing you to mask your disgust and heartbreak with pleasant surprise.
"Is that so?" is all you say.
He looks even more uncomfortable by the subject, choosing to look down at his almost finished beer. "It's not...I was just trying to put myself out there," he says awkwardly, shrugging. "Long story short, online dating is not for me. I hated it."
You could tell he doesn’t really like talking about this subject, so you try to quickly ease the tension with a bit of humor. Besides, you're probably better off without hearing anything regarding that topic anyway. "It's because you couldn't figure out how the whole swiping thing worked, isn't it?"
Bucky immediately seems to relax with your joke, chuckling a bit. "It took me a few days actually." He takes a quick pause before continuing. "I probably should've asked you for help."
If there was any hidden message behind his last statement, it completely goes over your head because you genuinely thought it was just part of your playful banter regarding his lack of skills when it comes to technology. You laugh, and in return Bucky offers you a smile because that's as much hinting as he dares to do out loud, especially if Sam and Joaquín are sitting right there. He's incredibly used to you never getting his subtle implications anyway.
In front of you, the other two guys are watching this exchange unfold, and it's hard to tell which one of them has a bigger urge to tell you to stop being so fucking oblivious already. As subtle as he can be, Joaquín pokes Sam's side with his elbow to give him a quick heads-up before speaking. "Considering everyone's almost finished, Sam and I are getting another round of drinks."
The two of them are standing up when they notice you're grabbing your purse and standing up as well. "Oh, I can go with you. I have to go to the restroom anyway."
The two of them want to yet again yell at you to please get a grip on the situation, but Sam just silently takes a seat as you and Joaquín go over to the bar, quickly telling him what you want to order before heading towards the restroom.
A few drinks later the four of you are finally leaving the bar. Sam and Joaquín left to their respective houses while you and Bucky shared an Uber back to his own place. He was kind enough to let you crash in his spare room for the night. It's not like this is the first time you've ever stayed at his apartment when you visit the boys, but you can't deny the idea is both thrilling and terrifying- not like anything would happen to make you feel like that...you two are just friends...but, still...your silly head likes to get silly ideas sometimes.
Deciding not to indulge in your little fantasies, you decide to start a conversation. "Update on the food?" you ask, turning to look at Bucky, who sits comfortably on the sofa of his living room.
"Like ten minutes away," he says, taking a quick look at the screen. "How come you haven't congratulated me for knowing how to order food with this thing?" he added with evident surprise, making you chuckle.
"Because you keep saying 'this thing' like it's some mysterious device completely unknown to mankind," you reply, and before you can stop yourself, you continue. "It's cute, I guess, so congratulations."
Bucky's grin grows wider. "Oh, so it's cute?"
You try really hard not to panic, feeling incredibly embarrassed. The fact that he seems to be enjoying what you just said makes it even worse, because you know he’ll use that to tease you now. He just finds any possible excuse to do it. "Cute as in lame."
He chuckles. "Right."
Not knowing what else to say, you clear your throat before walking towards him, taking a seat next to him as you try to come up with something else to change the subject immediately. "I'm starving," is all you say, mentally scolding you for such a poor effort.
As soon as you're sitting, you unsuccessfully try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach when he leans just a bit closer...perhaps if you weren't hyper vigilant whenever the two of you are too near you might've missed it. And then, he stretches his arm across the back of the sofa, right behind you.
For a second, you even thought of mocking him for such a move, but bringing more attention to it would only make you that much nervous, and you really don't want to embarrass yourself. And most importantly, you don't want your silly mind and your silly heart to get their hopes up. You're just friends, nothing else.
"Me too," he agrees, the playful grin on his face still not disappearing. "Might have to steal a few fries from you."
"Oh, I'd really like to see you try stealing my food," you reply in the same playful tone, leaning just a little closer to him without even noticing that you were actually doing that.
"I think I deserve some compensation after what happened today. You know, for all the unnecessary ass-kicking I had to do."
"Just when I thought you had moved on from that!" you reply, jokingly slapping his knee. "It wasn't my fault, it was yours for not telling me the plan on time!"
"You should've just trusted me," he insists. "But you always have to be right on everything..."
You know he's joking. There's something about bantering with you that seems to absolutely fascinate him. "Yeah, and you always want to piss me off."
Bucky chuckles again, and that's when you feel his hand gently resting on your shoulder, his arm fully around you. What the actual fuck is going on. "What, you think I like pissing you off?" he asks, tone slightly lower than before, which inevitably makes the butterflies in your stomach multiply. "Is that why you think I do it?"
You were quiet for a moment, your brain not entirely registering what's happening. "I mean...yeah."
He stops for a second, and you almost see a hint of hesitation on his face before he speaks, letting out a frustrated sigh. "For someone who claims to be so much more clever than anyone else, I would've expected you to figure it out sooner," he starts, shaking his head with a soft smile. "I've been actually flirting with you, doll."
The comment evidently takes you by surprise and all you can do is to stare back at him like a complete fool. His arm around your shoulders, the proximity, the fact he had the fucking audacity to call you that nickname...did you somehow fall asleep on his couch without noticing and this is the type of oddly-realistic dream your brain decided to come up with? Are you still standing there like a fool just fantasizing and this one just got way too immersive? And did he really just say that he's been flirting with you?
Noticing you weren't saying anything, he decides to continue, looking a little hesitant and disappointed with your silence. "You know, it'd be really nice if you say something..."
"Awful way to flirt," is all you could come up with, which immediately makes him burst out laughing.
"Maybe," he agrees. "But I can’t believe you didn’t figure it out. I mean…Sam and Joaquín did a long time ago."
"The three of you share the same brain cell, of course they figured it out a long time ago,” you reply, still in complete shock to be having this conversation with him. Were you really that blind? "You could’ve just asked me."
"You know I'm not direct like that," he replies, and the shy look on his face almost makes your heart melt. "Like I said, I was relying on your impressive intelligence to figure it out."
You let out a soft chuckle after his last comment, immediately giving him a warning look. "Don't." He looks back at you for a few seconds, almost wanting to challenge you after noticing the way you’re looking at him. Soon enough, he’s unable to hide his smirk anymore. "There it is," you point out, knowing he hates that.
Bucky lets out a soft grunt as a complaint, resting his head on your shoulder. Encouraged, you immediately move a hand up to his hair, affectionately playing with it. The two of you stay like that, simply enjoying being so close to each other. It feels incredibly right.
"So how do you feel?" he eventually asks, perhaps feeling braver to ask now that he doesn’t have to look into your eyes when he does.
You don’t reply right away, still feeling incredibly nervous despite knowing he does like you back. Eventually, you do build up the courage to say something. "I like you. Like, a lot."
Bucky moves back to look at you know. The look on his face gives you the impression that he wasn’t expecting you to be so honest with your answer, perhaps expecting another silly joke or sarcastic remark. And even though you thought about the possibility of choosing a more humorous approach, after keeping your feelings for him locked up and stored away for so long, you really needed to just say it.
Instead of saying something back, Bucky tightens his grip around your shoulders just enough, using his other hand to grab your chin right before kissing you. It certainly takes you by surprise, but you're quickly returning the kiss as you just completely melt in his arms, still trying to convince yourself that this is not some kind of hyper-realistic dream.
His hand swiftly moves to your cheek as the kiss continues, the gesture so incredibly delicate, a sharp contrast with the pure need he’s transmitting through the kiss. It’s desperate, passionate, intense…like he’s been waiting an entire lifetime to finally be able to experience this, grateful for the absolute privilege that it is to kiss you.
One of your hands moves up to the back of his neck and your touch seems to encourage him that much more because before you know it, he's taking the opportunity to gently bite your bottom lip, right before continuing to make out with you.
Much to yours and Bucky's disappointment, the sound of his apartment's doorbell echoes through the apartment, indicating the food you previously ordered has arrived.
He reluctantly pulls away with a soft grunt. "Food's here," he comments out loud, offering you a soft smile. He takes a brief moment to look at you, brushing his thumb against your cheek in an affectionate manner, dreading the idea of having to leave this couch. "I'll get it."
"I can help," you offer almost immediately.
Instead of replying right away, he leans in for a short kiss. "I'll get it," he insists, quickly making his way to the door after another buzz could be heard.
You sat in his living room in complete disbelief of what just happened, thankful that he's not here right now to see your goofy smile and blushed cheeks. He'd probably tease you to no end if he did see that.
Not knowing what else to do, you immediately reach for your phone, opening your messages. You knew exactly who would be the right people to share the news with.
'uhm so we just kissed??????' you texted, the first message in the group chat you just created with Sam and Joaquín.
Joaquín is the first one to reply. 'HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!'
'FUCKING FINALLY.' Sam texts shortly after.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fluff#bucky x you#bucky barnes x you
3K notes
·
View notes