#we can now say that this has become fully

[thirstkanaphan]

Seonghwa and "Be Free" Girl

or, my attempts to (further) queer the lore

We first meet "Be Free" girl in the Fever diary film. This is how Seonghwa describes the encounter:

She, who was dancing to the beat.

Everything around me froze for a moment. The only thing I could hear was the sound of music coming from her earphones. She was moving as if nothing mattered anymore.

Common sense, rules, and this tough world didn’t have power over her moves. Right this moment, my world broke along this snowy road. Something changed in me, but I stayed still and couldn’t say anything.

She dropped a bracelet that had ‘Be Free’ engraved on it. Ever since that day, I went to the same place at the same time.

But, she never came back. I didn’t know her name or address. Just like the ‘Be Free’ bracelet she wore, she freed herself away. Since then, music never sounded the same again. I can no longer distinguish the structure, code, or genre of the song. Only the lingering feeling of that day remains.

As a recently matriculated lore-tiny, I was struck by the introduction of this character into the lore; none of the other members had an on-screen parter in their characters' backstory.

Watching that Fever Diary clip, you see so much yearning on Seonghwa's face. He does not want Be Free girl, he wants to be her.

In World A, Seonghwa is bound by rules and logic. In the segments bookending the Fever Road series, he is shown tied to a chair, a dreamlike manifestation of his internalized oppression.

However, his encounter with Be Free girl completely rewires his brain, enabling Seonghwa free himself from rigid expectations:

From now on, I will plan what I will do. I will run away from this world stuck in a rut to do what I really wish to do. The music in my ear will be my one and only plan in life.

It's clear that when developing the very complex lore for the Ateez universe, KQ sourced from the member's IRL backstories: Wooyoung and his stage fright; Jongho and his athletic aspirations; Mingi's social anxieties. For Seonghwa, it's clear that his source trauma stemmed from the pressure he placed on himself to meet certain self-imposed and industry-imposed standards to look and act a certain way. These issues worsened during Inception era, which coincided with the Fever Diaries and the canonical origins of their lore.

During Seonghwa's recent birthday live, he was asked to comment on an old pic of himself during the Inception comeback and it's clear the memory pained him:

It's notable to me that lore!Seonghwa liberates himself from his dysmorphic mindset after seeing a young woman fully at home in her body, uncaring if she looks silly or awkward dancing alone. To Seonghwa, she embodies emotion, passion, freedom.

The Inception music video not only shows Seonghwa setting metaphorical fire to the mindset that once harmed him, but he also becomes Be Free girl, dancing as she danced in the exact same place he first encountered her:

Seonghwa's transformation in the lore has a ripple effect: in the diaries, he is happy spending time with his friends members in their warehouse sanctuary, dancing and performing to his hearts' content.

Wooyoung even credits Seonghwa for helping him overcome his own struggles:

Now I have friends to talk to about my feelings. As soon as I saw them, I knew right off the bat, they’re like me. Oh, Seonghwa was a little different. He never tried to do anything the traditional way, he was always ‘HIS’ way.

But their sanctuary is soon stolen from them and Ateez find themselves unmoored from their dreams; that is, until Hongjoong finds the Cromer and they embark on a trans-dimensional adventure to World Z.

In World Z, Seonghwa wields his non-normative self as a weapon to combat Strictland's oppressive government, who have banned the arts and used AI-powered technology to subdue human emotion.

In the trailer for Movement, he dances to disrupt the system.

We again encounter Be Free girl in The World: Outlaw. Ateez have infiltrated Prestige Academy with the goal to "awaken" the elite children from the government's systemic control of emotion, thereby destabilizing the ruling class.

It turns out that the World Z's Be Free girl is a student at Prestige Academy and, to Seonghwa's dismay, she leads the disciplinary committee responsible for enforcing the rules and punishing any students exhibiting emotion.

Seonghwa went out into the hallway, watching the back of the girl as she walked away. The strong, cold looking girl was the one that Seonghwa had been looking for for so long. Though of course, the same girl in World A and World Z seemed very different. 

That girl he had once encountered back in World A. He came across her by chance, on a day when the rules of life, logic, and efficiency were weighing down his thoughts. She danced freely, letting her body move along to the music playing on the street. After meeting her, Seonghwa came to realize many things, and everything changed. But on the day he finally decided to muster up his courage and speak to the girl he had been observing from afar, she was gone. Only a bracelet engraved with ‘Be Free’ was left in the spot where she had once danced.

For a long time after, Seonghwa would often go and wait for her there, but she never appeared again. What should I call this feeling? Is it admiration, gratitude, or curiosity? He wondered. Although still unsure what his feelings were, he continued to look and wait for her. But Seonghwa never expected that he would meet her here in World Z, as the head of the student group Thunder, a group considered elite even within Prestige Academy, which only the best talents of World Z–and the ones most loyal to this system of control–could join. He didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. However, just as she had changed his life and set him free that one day, Seonghwa was determined to save her from this world.

To his and our relief, Be Free girl turns out to be a member of Thunder, a secret organization dedicated to overthrowing Z's government from within. She has been suppressing her own emotions as a mechanism of survival in order to gain access to Z's inner circle.

Seonghwa learns this after Be Free girl saves him during an encounter with the Guardians, separating him from the group. Yeosang later observes that Seonghwa did not seem to leave under duress:  

"And his face when he grabbed her hand and walked off in the quad, it was like he found someone he missed. That look was so odd I kept thinking about it. It's the same look Seonghwa gets when he talks about the girl with the 'Be Free' bracelet he was looking for back in our dimension."

Seonghwa returns to share what he's learned from Be Free girl, but keeps some things to himself. Be Free girl told him of her own "awakening," having seen the Grimes siblings singing on the streets and finally understanding "beauty." This made her resolved to restore beauty and artistic expression to World Z.

Seonghwa cannot help but compare her to the Be Free girl who inspired him in World A:

The girl with the Be Free bracelet danced freely with no care or worry as to how she looked to other people. Seonghwa, mesmerized by the beauty, saw himself in her and from that day on, started to walk a new path free from restricting rules and principles.

The Thunder girl, she reminds me of the girl from our world. And she reminds me of myself, Seonghwa thought. Moved by the feeling of beauty stirred within her after listening to the songs of the Grimes siblings, she started on a new path away from the principles and rules of this world. The moment he first saw her at Prestige Academy, behind the girl's cold exterior, Seonghwa had clearly felt that heart - that very yearning for beauty.

I think it's interesting how much Seonghwa identifies with Be Free girl, and I cannot help but recall his distinctly queer styling during The World series.

Not coincidentally, this album era is when Seonghwa really began to experiment with his own taste for "genderless" fashion, which continues to be a major theme in his stylistic expression.

Be Free girl narrates World: To The End, after Ateez is abruptly sent back to World A during a climactic confrontation with Z:

I wonder if you safely arrived back home. When the first Cromer broke, you said you arrived in the past. Did you arrive on time this time? Are you still dancing and singing together there? I hope all your wishes come true: finding your family, gaining independence from your strict father, standing on stage, meeting may people, and making lots of money. You've changed many people's lives, so I'm sure you've succeeded. Whatever it may be, I hope you remain 'free' without being too tied down, just like she said, the one who resembles me.

Unfortunately, her wish for Ateez does not necessarily come true. Back in World A, the boys find themselves drifting apart as their memories from World Z fade. They each pursue different lines of work, becoming successful and wealthy, but lacking the passion that once fueled their adventures together.

Seonghwa becomes a firefighter. He tells himself it's something Be Free girl would've encouraged:

Knowing her, she would have told him to move and find a way to save himself first. Saving oneself is the first step to saving other people. 'Fine. Then I'll start by saving myself from this anxiety.' So, Seonghwa began studying how to rescue people in different kinds of crises.

Sure, it wasn't his dream, but that also wasn't a good enough reason for him to give it up. The impact of this job was clear and real compared to the vague dream he shared with the members, and he just couldn't find any justification to quit.

And, thanks to his welcoming face and striking physique, Seonghwa was selected as the Fire and Disaster Headquarters' yearly calendar model. Posing for the camera, he felt both pleasantly nervous and oddly empty. For so long, he had wanted nothing more than to be photographed and seen, but could never make that dream come true... How ironic that he could do so now, but only as a firefighter.

Seonghwa can rationalize it all he wants, but he's once again cut away pieces of himself to present as socially acceptable and palatable in this new phase of his life. He's regressed, but he cannot see the truth for himself.

In Golden Hour: Part 2, he tries to convince Jongho that this is what he really wants:

Jongho met his eyes silently, as if to say that he was ready to listen. Seonghwa began describing those who had just become firefighters. There is a time when a sense of duty and a desire to save people becomes a kind of "passion" in and of itself. During this time, new firefighters – as if they have never known fear - would do anything to save even just one more person. They would dive into the heart of a fires or risk their lives. Then, they make a mistake and realize that they might actually die like this. That's when they finally come to understand their seniors' advice, Seonghwa continued. 

Seonghwa grit his teeth and repeated the words he had heard over and over as a student: "Saving oneself is the first step in saving other people."

Whether you subscribe to the theory that Ateez will use the sorpo to once more hop between dimensions OR that Golden Hour takes place in a dream conjured by Z, the idea of "saving oneself" remains a key theme in Seonghwa's arc over the course of the lore.

Be Free girl gave him the strength to save himself the first time, a process that gave him the emotion, beauty, and empathy to inspire others in the same way.

I hope that in this next installment, wherever the lore takes us, Seonghwa can reclaim his passion and fight for his freedom.

.

.

Of course, we have a third "appearance" of Be Free girl in Spin Off: From the Witness, which seems to exist outside of our linear timeline and may even exist in a completely different dimension with a completely different set of Ateez.

The epilogue focuses on this other Seonghwa, who has a very familiar encounter with a certain bracelet.

I wrote this meta as a way to work through what I thought was one of the most interesting parts of the lore, because it's clear how much this storyline is already meta-textual. These are just observations and speculations. Ateez gave me a fun sandbox to play in!

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Special thanks to @loving-that-officey-feel for being my lore tutor!

[tvlandofficiall]

As one of the Tenna CEOs on Tumblr.com I thought it'd be fitting to share here how funny I find his character subversion. I remember when his cute border design leaked and people on Twitter were like "noo guys don't fall for the facade!! remember what spamton said about not trusting anything you see on tv!!" and eveyone was fully convinced of him being a mafia boss or irredeemable scum (as if Toby has ever written a pure evil character)

Then it turned out he is the nicest antagonist so far who IS masking stuff to the public as a TV host, but what he's masking isn't some evil intentions, just self-worth issues 😭

Can't believe he embodiment of malicious spam email is not a reliable source of information about his ex partner! What a surprise!

oh i've been on team sympathetic tenna from way back – though that's never to diss anyone else's interpretations, of course. (i've a soft spot for a few cutthroat tennas myself!) but one of the big concepts that i was working with when writing tvlandofficial tenna was 1. as you said, that spamton is an unreliable narrator, and 2. that it was inevitable that tenna would be based on one of kris' family members, likely toriel (though i was slightly off on guessing toriel specifically). tvlandofficial tenna was a big, tough mafia boss, with a dog-eat-dog world view on life, but she also grew to become fiercely protective of ralsei, and her initial outlook on life stemmed not from being malicious for malice's sake but from the very same thing we see canon tenna's issues stem from – that all darkners will be abandoned one day, being objects and all. and while she did end up unplugged, she still had people she could lean on, becoming truly attached to her guy's and, of course, to ralsei.

when it comes to the darkners as a whole, they're all defined by that struggle against fate – against what it means to be an object. (this led to another part of the mixed feelings i had – i wish we saw more of this with the old man – but i digress, and again, i can see what the aim was.) even characters like spades king and spamton have sympathetic qualities in how the cycle of being used and tossed away defines them. and as we know now, canon tenna's defined by it too – someone who knows his kind aren't built to last and wants to last forever. (he's honestly a lot like queen, too, in the way he relates to kris like she does to noelle – wanting badly to make them smile but being out of touch with how to do so. there's some dreemurr and holiday food for thought.) it breaks your heart a little when you see well-meaning susie, who similarly measures her worth by her own fate as a hero of the prophecy, offer to let mettaton have him. he wants someone to look at him and say they want him around, and although he's still ultimately the sort of person who'll trap you in an endless round of miserable minigames to get that to happen, he's got this sense of naïveté about him that matches with his kids'-show-mascot personality. but both susie and tenna are worth more than what they can give to a prophecy or to a god, and i'm sure that someday, they'll figure that out.

as an aside, though, i'm really enjoying spamton's scummy side getting some more time in the spotlight after these chapters dropped. it's a huge factor in the way i write him both when it comes to my die-hard swatch/spamton enjoyment and in general. i feel as though a part of the reason it fell off the map is that fans began to fear swatch's acerbic side meant they one-sidedly treated spamton like garbage, but i don't think that's true at all. they're garbage4garbage. i could write a whole essay dissecting spamton's garbageness because it's so compelling to me. he's character.

[lxvenderjewel]

TJLC & Co; a full examination of John & Sherlock's relationship

(PILOT) Literally in the first episode they’re mistaken for a couple. Mind you, this is coming from Mariana, who eventually becomes one of their closest friends, and is arguably one of the most observant characters in the series. Being a podcast about Sherlock Holmes, it’s pretty easy to forget that everyone else only looks stupid because he’s exceptionally smart, but Mariana is quite intelligent as well, and her first impression of them is that they’re together. So.

(THOR1) This is sort of the first time we see John and Sherlock start to get intimate (not like that you nasty bastard). Up to here they’ve pretty much barely tolerated each other but here we get some really sweet moments that start to build up their relationship with each other.

(GOLD3) This is really early on in their budding rapport, but it sounds so very soft and fond when you listen to the audio. Sounds sort of like John is smiling. Already, John knows that Sherlock is something special. He’s also already fully aware of Sherlock’s sleeping habits.

(CARB1) Then of course we get to Blue Carbuncle which is the beginning of their weird ass flirting. This is just crazy work in general to me. It’s pretty early on in their relationship but we can already begin to see that they’re into each other, even if they don’t know it yet. (Expand the second image if you want to see the full scene. It's one of my favorites, personally.)

(REDH2) Everybody knows this scene. Why’d Sherlock sound so thirsty here? Like... why?

(GLOR2) We come to The Gloria Scott and we start to see real actual bonding of substance happen between John and Sherlock, I mean this is a crazy moment… Sherlock’s freaking out right now because he doesn’t want to fuck it up with Victor and John comforts him, they’re stealing away a moment in between all of the crazy emotions in this case and just laughing together in John’s bedroom? Even just as friends, this is a pretty pivotal moment for their dynamic. They’re really starting to get comfortable with each other by this point. They're so. <3

(SILV2) Just John complimenting Sherlock for no other reason than he can… beautiful to see really.

(REIG1) Sherlock trying to rile John up here, even though by this point he thinks he’s just teasing him, he doesn’t realize he actually. Well. Heh.

(REIG1) LOOK CLOSELY. VERY CLOSELY. WE DO NOT HEAR JOHN TAP SHERLOCK’S CHEEK. BUT IT IS IN THE SCRIPT. WHY? WHY PUT EMPHASIS ON THE FACT THAT JOHN IS TAPPING SHERLOCK’S CHEEK HERE WHEN IT DOESN’T END UP IN THE FINAL CUT? WHY JOEL

(DANC3) I’d say this is where it fully clicks for Sherlock that he’s in love with John. I think he probably had an inkling when he was going crazy about Ian the sniper but here it’s like. Well wow. John just got shot and he could’ve died. And Sherlock responds completely normally by first checking to see that John’s okay and then going and trying to actually kill Abe. So normal.

(SHOS2) This is probably where John realizes he’s in love with Sherlock. Like by this point he’s realized that Baker Street has become his home and by extension Sherlock has become his home, this following Dancing Men where he watches Sherlock go absolutely batshit insane, like just crazy over him getting shot… yeah the man is down bad.

(LION3) Some odd tension post DANC/SHOS… why? I’d say because they’re both dealing with their recently realized feelings for each other. That can always be. Well. You know. John’s always a bit awkward but I find their fumbling around each other during Lion’s Mane Verrry Curiouss

(SIGN4) This strange ass flirting right after John finishes talking to Mary? At least John has an excuse here, he was just talking to Mary so he’s probably feeling romantical, Sherlock literally has no reason to be telling John he has a warm lovely face.

(SIGN4) By far one of THE strangest arguments I have EVER had the displeasure of witnessing in any media ever. Sherlock gets weird and strangely possessive about John here, tries to cover it under the guise of him being concerned that John is forgoing professionalism for the sake of a date, and then loops BACK around to say that Mary doesn’t really care about him, Sherlock does, and he shouldn’t be neglecting Sherlock like this because he’s the only one who truly cares about him? What the fuck are you talking about.

(SIGN4) Which is then IMMEDIATELY followed by John bringing up Victor and making a weirdly flirty remark that calls back to Sherlock calling his face warm and lovely? Seriously one of the oddest scenes in all of fiction. They're so weird and disgusting.

(WIST1) Is being jealous just a funny back-and-forth game for them? Because they do it far too often. Sherlock is being very open in his praises for Baynes and it sounds like John would rather be literally anywhere else. Weirdly possessive of each other.

[cassandrarebornanew]

We all know how much Miles loves to make art - but more than anything he loves to make street art. We also know that he starts drawing like crazy between the two films.

I headcannon that Miles needed more than just sketching in his notebooks and finding hidden walls to graffiti in his spare time. He approaches one of his school's art teachers, and asks to open a street art club. It takes a bit of fighting, but eventually he gets it confirmed. He puts posters up, tells people about it - “come over to the art classroom Friday lunch! We can do some art stuff :)”. Friday comes around and… no one shows up. Miles doesn't let it phase him, so he does some art and waits for next week. The same thing happens that week. And the next. And the next. By now the posters have fallen off the walls, and Miles is about to give up. Then, week 5 comes around. He sets up his stuff, lets the teacher (that has to be there) get distracted on his phone, and starts working. But, before he can actually get into it, there’s a knock on the door. He looks up, ready to tell whoever it is that this isn’t where they want to be, but then he stops. The girl standing there looks nervous, but has patches on her rucksack, and paint on her clothes. Miles doesn't want to assume, but she looks like an artist. “Hi.” She starts. “Is this the street art club?” at this point even the teacher is paying attention. “yeah. Come on in.”

Two weeks pass. This girl is a great artist, but she does more traditional work, and wanted to learn something new. They become pretty good friends, and Miles feels like he’s done something pretty good, even if just for one person. But then she brings two friends. Suddenly there’s a group chat and snacks are being coordinated. Miles effectively teaches two people who know nothing about art everything he can. It feels good - feels important.

Some people from his class ask to join. It’s been two and a half months now, and the group has increased to eight. Then word gets around, and other years are joining in too, with little kids dying to try something beginner friendly to introduce them into the school, and older students finally learn in a healthy outlet for stress. More and more people show up each session until Miles has to change it into a fully fledged, two hour afterschool club. They end up filling up two and a bit classrooms with all the people that show. some need to do art. some like to. some are learning. some just show for the vibes and do some doodling to get their mind off stuff. some people go hardcore, no talking, intense focus the entire time. But what gets to Miles the most is that everyone walks in excited and everyone walks out happy. the art teachers take turns supervising - they get involved too. One of them puts forward a proposition where street art is an accepted form of art for AP Art classes. The school administration shows up for one of the club sessions and immediately approve. Miles starts doing street art as his coursework. He’s never loved school more, and starts organising potential activities for the club members. The group chat is easily 50 - 75 people, and that’s just the regulars.

The school needs to renovate some of the buildings, and they look at the massive blank wall and ask Miles if he and his club would like to decorate it. They say yes.

the mural is massive. They needed ladders and cherry pickers and harnesses, but they managed to cover the entire wall in art. Everyone can point to at least one feature and say “that’s mine. I did that”. Miles does the center piece. The parents get invited to the reveal of the new building and their student-made mural. Someone uploads a video, edited and everything, and the internet grabs onto it and doesn't let go for at least a week. Mr and Mrs Morales are congratulated on the achievements of their son. They realise that no matter what, he will always have an artistic streak in him. Jeff looks at his kid, and for half a second sees Aaron, the way he was when they were kids themselves. He tries not to cry with happiness.

Miles talks to the owner of the building. He shows him the work he’s done, in his art book, in his spare time, and on the wall of the school. The owner saw the school unveiling on Insta, and is easily convinced to let Miles create a mural. And when he draws Aaron, immortalising his recently departed uncle, the she isn’t surprised. If anything, she’d hoped for it. The entire neighbourhood mourned Aaron, they’re like family. everyone celebrates this mural too. But to Miles, this is different. This is his family’s that is celebrating his work, not a bunch of random people. This isn’t just a demonstration of his art, this is an emotionally significant and vulnerable piece. This is a part of him. And looking at it, he can only ever be grateful that he was given this chance.

[ruhitsblog]

OVERTAKEN STARDOM

I’m fat. Not chubby, not round, not “cuddly.” I am obese. It’s not something I have ever tried to hide, or deny. My body is my body, and I accept it for what it is. But it makes acting difficult. The fact that I don’t even *try* to look attractive doesn’t help either. I wear ratty clothes that hang off me, and a cap over my messy hair. I’ve always been this way; when I was younger, I worked in factories or warehouses. Now, though, I work as a janitor at a movie studio. A low-key job for a low-key person.

I wish that I could say I love my job, but it’s just work. It’s not fulfilling. And it’s boring. So very boring. I don’t have any real friends here, because people don’t really talk to me. They might nod as we pass each other in the hallway, but they don’t try to get to know me.

The only good thing about my job is watching the actors rehearse their scenes. It’s the highlight of my day. Especially if there’s an action scene. Or a dramatic monologue. Even seeing them block out the choreography for a dance number gets me excited.

I want to act.

It’s a pipe dream. I know that I’ll never get a chance to be on screen. And even if I did, who would want to see my face? I wouldn’t want to see my own face up there.

But still... sometimes, late at night when I’m lying awake, I imagine myself being up on that stage. Delivering those lines. Dancing through that fight scene.

Of all the actors I watch, I think about KJ Apa the most. He plays the role of our main character: the dashing hero of the story. I can’t believe how handsome he is! He’s lean and muscular, with thick black hair that frames his heart-shaped face. His skin is smooth and perfect, unblemished by even a single scar. His lips curve in a perpetual smile, even when he’s playing a sad scene. And his eyes are bright blue. Bright enough to blind you if you stare at them too long.

KJ has a bad reputation here. He shows up late. He forgets his lines. Sometimes he doesn’t bother to memorize them at all. He’s always distracted. Always messing around with the crew, or his co-star (the lovely Camila Mendes). He’s always getting scolded by the director. He just laughs it off, and keeps going.

One time, he showed up drunk during rehearsals. Another time, he fell asleep in his chair while they were filming. Everyone here loves him anyway, and I can understand why. There’s something so charming about him, even though he seems completely irresponsible.

And then there are the times when he shows up naked. Sometimes, he’s fully naked. Other times, he just has his shirt off, or maybe just his pants. Once, I saw him with his pants down, his bare ass hanging out for everyone to see.

No one seems to care. In fact, they seem to enjoy it. Everyone laughs, and the camera operators start snapping pictures on their phones. I’ve seen the director grope his butt a few times too.

I’m not sure what to make of it.

Last week, the director announced that filming would stop early. A couple of hours later than usual, but still early. No one complained; we’re all excited for the holiday coming up. As soon as the announcement came over the intercom, people started packing up. After the shoot as I was works ng I found kj apa's locker room open them I found his muskky and sweaty jacket I was so arrowsed of his smell that I slipped naked and tried to put his small jacket on my huge body but as I  to put it I noticed that my body seems to adjust to its size and I felt strange like I was loosing weight and gaining blonde hair on my bald head and muscle mass and all of my fat was disappearing in seconds and my dick was becoming larger too I was feeling my bones cracking and popping as my body was adjusting to its new form and I look at the mirror

and I saw not the reflection of the old fat man I used to be I saw the beautiful young man that kj apa is and his face was mine but I still had my memories and personality. I looked in horror as I realized that I became into kj apa without a trace of my former self.

I knew that I had to act like him but I don't know if I can do it but as i look in the mirror again I notice that my eyes were different, they were darker and more intense than before, I knew that this will help me to pull off his act. So I decided to try and see what happened.

As I walk outside the building I was stopped by several crew members and directors they asked me where the hell I've been and that I missed the last scene but I didn't knew what to say so I apologize for missing it and I promised that won't happen again. And then the director told me that we'll be doing a re-shoot tomorrow and that I need to learn my lines better because yesterday was a disaster. I knew that this would be harder than I thought. But I decided that I would give it my best shot.

I went home and spend the night trying to learn my lines and reading the script over and over again. I barely slept at all. By dawn, my head was throbbing from lack of sleep, but I still had all the lines memorized.

When I got to the set that morning, I was ready. I walked confidently onto the soundstage, waving at everyone. They greeted me back cheerfully, and everything seemed normal.

For the first few scenes, everything went fine. I delivered my lines perfectly, and the director gave me high praise. Everything was working exactly as planned. I was able to mimic KJ’s mannerisms and speech patterns pretty well. And with his handsome face and body, I couldn’t ask for anything more.

But then things started to go downhill.

I began to feel horrny after seeing so many beautiful actress so I finished my lines and grabbed some girls  and let them to my trailer and starts to fuck them so hard that they moan and begged for more as u cummed into them I realised that this was the life I wanted and not the life of an old man.

I had to take a break to get changed into a new outfit. As I left the set, I saw the director talking to Camila (my co-star) in hushed tones. They were both looking at me worriedly. I didn’t understand why.

When I got to my trailer, I realized that I’d forgotten my script in the dressing room. I turned around and headed back. That’s when I saw KJ Apa unconscious there. Naked, with his dick hanging out. My dick. *My* dick

I hid him under the bed then I packed him in a big bag and carried to my new home and tied him in the basement there can't be two kj apa , I am the only real kj apa

  Days went by and kj apa wake up and understood everything but the fake kj apa rapped him every day and let him suck his own cock then he fucked him deep and fast making him scream in agony

   Months passed and the real kj apa lost his mind and became the sex slave of the fake one and the movie was a great success and no one noticed any changes in the actor and he kept fucking women every day. And no one noticed anything.

Years went by and the fake kj apa got married with Camila mendes and he kept fucking her and making her pregnant every year and he became one of the biggest stars in hollywood and he never stop fucking women and he never stop fucking the real kj apa his sex slave.

   And the real kj apa died alone in the basement of the fake kj apa house and his body was buried in the backyard where he built a new toilet for humiliating him and  no one never found

[schoolspiritsfan14]

Dress

Wally Clark x fem reader

Summary: its prom season at Split River High and the ghosts are getting ready for the dance. With the help of Rhonda and Dawn you find an irresistible dress that will make your crush, Wally Clark drool.

CW&I: swearing, smut, takes place in 1985, you were the cheer captain, Rhonda considers you one of her closest friends and calls you Dove meaning ‘peace maker’ (shoutout to @jamiemoonymarks for coming up with the nickname!), you and Wally have always had flirty banter, James is fictional ghost I made up.

Prom season has officially begun at Split River High, a day you and your friends have been dreaming about since middle school.  Finding the perfect dress, having a handsome date, hanging out and dancing with your friends. 

But all of that went away six months ago when you the cheer captain, died during cheerleading practice. An extremely hard lift went terribly wrong you dead and five others in hospital with serious injuries. 

What you didn’t expect was becoming a ghost. Haunting the halls of your school- and watching your friends live their lives, taunted you but you had some help from other ghosts who died before you. 

Rhonda who is cold and distant at first, but quickly became quick your friends after learning you had the same taste in music. Dawn who is reserved often found perched on the library book return bin staring blankly at the lights. After some heartfelt conversations she became your closest friend. Then there is Janet, who is more of an acquaintance than a friend. 

Mr Martin basically the leader of the ‘Split River High afterlife’ or whatever he calls it. He runs a support group of sorts in the gym for guidance and support or something. You arent really sure as you rarely attended and barely pay attention even when Rhonda drags you along with her. 

Then there was Wally Clark. The golden boy jock who died doing what he loved. Wally was a senior when you were a sophomore, attending the 1983 homecoming game and witnessing his death right in front of you.  You and the cheerleading team watched in horror as everyone realised, he wasn’t moving. The sound of his neck snapping still haunts you even in your death. You had never told him, but you always had a crush on him and were secretly devastated when he died. 

Since your first day in the metaphysical world, -or whatever Mr Martin likes to call this place, Wally has been your number one support. He was there when you died- he saw the whole accident unfold right in front of his eyes when he was on his daily jog. When you woke up in the metaphysical world it was Wally who was there, trying to explain things the best he knew how to. He has become one of your closest friends- just don’t tell Rhonda. 

Since you died you and Wally have had flirty banter, bonding over being a part of the ‘popular crowd’ in life, not fully knowing what the afterlife held. You thought it was only a matter of time until things went further.

In life you never had to work hard to get a date, guys- and even some girls- would constantly ask you out. Just because you are now dead doesn’t mean this should change. But Rhonda would always tease you saying, “He’s a himbo”- a term you learnt from her- “if you want to be with him, you have to ask him out yourself.”  

You and Rhonda were in the teacher’s lounge on a quiet Saturday morning when you heard car doors slamming. You jumped up from the lumpy sofa you and Rhonda were lounging on and peeked through the blinds. The prom committee- one that you were supposed to be in charge off- began unpacking the decorations for the prom.

“I can’t believe it’s finally prom, something I have been dreaming of since middle school and I can’t even fucking enjoy it because I’m dead.”

Rhonda gets up from the couch and joins you at the window, taking out her ever-present lollipop “Chill Dove, we may be dead, but we can still enjoy prom. I was going to boycott this year like I always do but I’ll go because I am that good of a friend.”

“I can help with your dresses.” Dawn says taking a sip of the coffee you had made and left on the counter.

“Jesus, Dawn when did you get here? You scared me half to death.” You exclaimed holding on to your chest. 

“She can’t scare you half to death, you are already dead.” Rhonda sasses sitting next to Dawn on the table. 

“Ha- ha very funny, but seriously Dawn can you help with getting a dress?”

“Uh- huh, the school just did the musical Grease, and they left all the costumes in the storage room under the stage, I’m sure you can find something in there and I can adjust it however with the sewing machines.” Dawn muttered, stuffing a stale muffin in her mouth.

Dawn leads you and Rhonda to the theatre and opens the trap door on stage, leading to a small storage room filled with clothes, shoes and more from previous musicals.

“Pick whatever and I can easily make any changes you want.” Dawn says flicking on the light once she reached the bottom of the stairs. 

You, Rhonda, and Dawn start looking through the clothes racks in search for the perfect dress. 

“Ooh what about this one?” you announce to the girls holding out a pink frilly dress with sequins running down the whole dress. 

“Dove, I know you were a cheerleader and honestly I’m surprised you are one of my best friends, but that will make you look like a flamingo. And no that’s not a compliment.” Rhonda rolled her eyes and took the dress from you, shoving it back on the rack. 

Turning your attention back to the racks, you look through all the dresses, but nothing is sticking out. Dawn perks up and says “What about this one? You and Rhonda turn around and see Dawn holding out a ruffled baby blue floor length dress. “I can see under all the ruffles there’s a base of the dress, I can take most of the frills off and make it a bit shorter if you’d like.”

She gives you a dress and you hold it up to an old dusty mirror. You wipe the dust off and hold the dress to your body. “I think this could actually work, thanks Dawn.”

Rhonda finds a navy-blue pantsuit with black heels to match then you head out of the storage room, following Dawn to home economics.

Walking around by yourself at night is one of the new ways you sit with your thoughts, nothing but you and the bright shine from the moon. As you round the corner past the stadium, you hear something. 

“Hey Dove, wait up!” Wally shouted when he saw you walking along the path. 

“Only Rhonda can call me that.” You say rolling your eyes continuing your once peaceful walk. 

“Oh, guess I’ll just have to come up with my own then.” He pauses for a moment “I got it, how about Sweetheart?”

“Ooo must have taken you extra-long time to come up with that ‘original’ nickname.” 

“What can I say it suits you.” Wally takes a sip of water “What are you doing out here anyways?”

“Every so often I like to take a walk when the whole school and everything is quiet, its peaceful. Why are you out here? I thought it was movie night, don’t you have some sports movie to watch?” you asked.

“Normally yeah, but there’s so many people setting up for prom tomorrow that they keep getting in the way. Movie night got pushed back until next week.” Wally replies walking a little bit faster to keep up with you. He didn’t expect you to be such a fast walker on a quiet, peaceful walk.

“Oh.”

“Are you going tomorrow? To prom I mean. Maybe you could save me a dance?” he asked. 

“Yeah maybe.” You say coyly trying to hide the rising blush you can feel on your cheeks.

Suddenly you hear “Dove, Dawns finished with your dress. Get your butt inside to try it on!” Rhonda yells from the upstairs window.

“Guess that’s my cue. I’ll see you later, Wally.” 

The day of the dance arrived. You, Rhonda, Dawn, and Janet were getting ready in the girl’s bathrooms. “So, are you going to save a dance for Wally? I heard him asking you last night.” Rhonda asks buttoning up her blazer. 

“Maybe” emphasise on the “e”. You wanted to so badly, but the thought you had- had always had- never left you. “Maybe I should make him want to dance with me, y’know make him jealous. Make him horny or something.”

“And that’s my cue to leave. I’ll see you guys out there.” Janet says, flinging the door open and walking the direction of the gym. 

“God, is she always such a-“ 

“A prude? Yeah.” Rhonda interrupts. 

Dawn laughs softly “Let me help you zip up your dress.”

“So, what do you guys think? Should I try to make him jealous or something?” you ask, playing with your hair trying to figure out how to style it. 

“You said you never had to work for attention before, which honestly screw you” Rhonda says when you roll your eyes. “What’s your plan?”

“Okay firstly, it’s not my fault people found me so attractive and fawned over me. And secondly, I was thinking of dancing, maybe with that new guy that died a month ago, James.” You reply, giving up with your hair and just leaving it down.

You thought about it again and decide “You know what? Fuck it. I’m just going to have fun at my senior prom and whatever happens, happens.”

You walk into the transformed gym with Dawn and Rhonda. The theme is ‘underneath the starlight’, and string lights the covered majority of the walls, with balloons and streamers hanging from the ceiling, a photobooth in the corner, tables, and chairs around the edges of the makeshift dance floor that took up most of the gym. 

You made your way over to the drinks table, filling up your cup with punch then stare back at the crowd of living students. You see your friends, all coordinated with their dates and looking at the memorial photo the school had placed in your memory. 

Instead of being sad and sappy over it, you decided to enjoy your night and drag a very hesitant Rhonda and Dawn to the dance floor. In the corner of your eye, you spotted Wally, who is looking so fucking perfect in his tux, white button down with white bow tie. 

Rhonda and Dawn tell you that they need a break even though you insist they didn’t- a perk of being dead- but they go anyways leaving you on the dance floor by yourself. Seriously, do no other ghost not want to have fun or do they all just want to be miserable? 

You glance up to see James walk through the doors. This is your chance. You walk over to him, whisper in his ear “Wanna dance?” to which he nodded his head and directed you to the dance floor. 

Your hips aligned with his and you began to sway, subtly looking in Wally’s direction to see if he was watching- to which he is- as you turn to face James and wrap your arms around his neck.

James leans down to your ear and whispers “I know you’re only dancing with me to get Wally’s attention. 

Shit. “You do?”

“Yeah. It’s obvious you guys have something. - And besides I’m gay.” He says voice low to hide it from others.

“You are? Makes sense why you never flirted with me when you showed up here.” You giggle. He rolls his eyes continuing the dance. 

Suddenly you are interrupted by Wally. “James, mind if I steal her for a dance?” 

James looks at you and says “Sure, I needed a break anyways.”

The music switched to a slower song as soon as Wally took over from James. Wally lowers his hands to your waist, looking like he would like to pull you close. You can tell he’s hesitant, so you give him a nod indicating you give him permission. When he does you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him close to you. 

“You really do look beautiful, Sweetheart.” He says leaning down to your ear, his warm breath against your skin making you let out a soft moan. 

“You wanna know a secret, Walls? I only got this dress so you can take it off.” You say voice low and alluring. And with that you break apart from him and walk towards the gym doors. You turn around and see Wally stunned. “You coming, handsome?” his eyes grew wide and followed behind you, leaving the gym.

He enters the corridor, -following behind you cautiously turning his head back towards the gym making sure no one has followed. You stop at one of the empty classrooms and open the door. You close the blinds on the windows facing the corridor and the blind on the door, leaving the others open to let the bright moon shine through. 

Wally finally catches up, to find you perched on the teacher’s desk and shuts the door behind him and he approaches you slowly, - in a low husky voice he asks, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

You roll your eyes and smirk “Yes. I want you to fuck me.” You hook one of your fingers through his belt loop and pull him close to your body. Your knees moving to the sides making way for him. For a moment you stare into his eyes until you are drawn down to his soft, wet slightly parted lips eagerly waiting for yours to meet. You finally close in the gap your lips crash onto his, soft and slow at first. 

He breaks apart the kiss, shrugs off his jacket, kicks his shoes off, loosens his bow tie and takes off his button-down shirt, leaving only his pants on. He bends down and takes off your heels and throws them on the floor with the remainder of his clothes. 

His lips return to yours. Your left hand in his hair, pulling him closer while your right hand rests on his chest. His hands make their way to your back. He slowly unzips your dress, pulls it down past your shoulders. You arch up slightly, so he pulls the dress over your ass leaving you in nothing but your underwear. 

His lips return to yours and he pushes you back further onto the desk, so you are laying down with him on top. He lowers one of his hands onto your breast, kneading his fingers through the material of your bra. He reaches around one hand on your back to undo the clasp of your bra, but he struggles. Feeling his frustration, you break apart the kiss and do it yourself, flinging the bra across the room. 

He stands back up and unbuckles his belt and takes off his pants and boxers in one motion, revealing his already erect cock. You quickly take off your panties and sit back on the desk. Wally takes no time pushing apart your legs, lines himself up and slowly pushes inside of you. “Fuck” you murmur as he begins to thrust into you. 

“Fuck, you’re soaking wet for me, baby.” Wally moans. He’s back on top of you, one of his large hands grabbing both your hands and pinning them above your head. 

Your mouth flew open, releasing a loud moan as he continues to thrust into you.” Fuck, Wally just like that.” 

Your body convulses under him eyes screwed shut. “Eyes open, sweetheart I want to see those eyes when I make you cum.” Wally grunted. Three, four more thrusts and you let go You scream out in pleasure, head falling back on-to the desk as your organism hits. Wally releases himself inside of you as he slumps over you, panting. 

“I… that was… wow” you stutter still coming down from your climax.

Wally lifts his head up from your chest and kisses you lazily. “Fuck sweetheart, that was amazing.” You and him continued to lay on the teacher’s desk coming down from your high.

After a while you and Wally get dressed and head back into the gym. Rhonda comes over to you and asks “Where the hell have you been? You missed when they announced you as honorary prom queen.” Rhonda pauses for a moment when she sees how rough your clothes and hair looks-no resets yet- “Oh god, ew. I mean that’s great you guys uh…”

“You don’t have to finish your sentence, Ron.” You say interrupting her. “I don’t care I missed them announcing me as honorary prom queen, I was preoccupied.” You eye Wally and give him a wink as he curls his arm around your waist, pulling you close and planting sweet, delicate kisses into your hair line. Maybe death wasn’t so bad after all.

Thank you to @seeker1982 and @rosietoesy for being beta readers and helping me, I so appreciate it. @urfriendlywriter for smut writing prompts.

Tags: @lover1409 @darth-jaderz @rosietoesy @seeker1982 @marthamoomin @unholypsychic @m3ntaltashia23 @jamiemoonymarks

[gotwcird]

god, she's throbbing. only gets worse when chase licks into her mouth like he's trying to extract her essence, to taste the deepest part of her, to understand her in some tantric way. she can feel it too, in the desperation from his voice, telling her. calling her baby. rips her tights to shreds and then does the same to her fucking panties, the sheer material now in tatters, pushed somewhere away until all that's let clinging to her hips are the band of her tights. itmakes her feel so small and wanted in a way that makes both those things interchangeable. like she's something he wants to devour and envelop and take for himself. she'd let him too, over and over. "take me." bibi nods, dark eyes meeting his gaze in desperation. in a state that makes her feel almost crazy. "no— no, later. want you to fuck me first."

when chase mentions condoms, she pauses. she has a couple in her purse in the passenger seat, the kind they always use. extra large to make sure they don't rip, but she pauses before she says anything. feels a determination come over her, a realization. becomes clearer with every passing moment as she looks up at chase, "we don't need one." grasps at the wrist that had been searching the centre console and places it back on her hip. her voice goes soft. "i trust you." knows they both aren't seeing anyone else. hell, she hadn't even meant to find someone to fool around with. had vowed to focus on XENA, but then chase came waltzing in and now she's sure she wants him to fuck her raw. slips her hand between them to her now fully exposed cunt, all slick and flushed and swollen waiting for his cock. spreads open her lips to show herself off to him — knows he probably can't even see anything in this lowlight properly, but doesn't care. knows it's the intent that works, that shows how much she wants him to fill her in without a barrier anymore. dark, needy eyes look up at him in a new layer of reverance. she's never looked at someone like this before. "fuck me like this? i want you to cum inside me, baby."

she whimpers beneath him and something in chase clicks. something that needs to devour her, show her that bibi was his. that he was worthy of loving her, worshipping every perfect inch of her body. but that might have to come later because the only thought in his head at the moment was getting his cock into her. maybe it wasn't the nicest thought he'd ever had, maybe he was being a bit selfish, but that's what bibi did to him. he groans into her mouth at her words, at the motivation to keep going. bibi thought he was hot, not something most people thought and he knew it. didn't think he compared to xavier or moose in such a way. hell, he couldn't tell you all the girls who have shown 'interest' in him only to end up asking about one of the other boys on the team. but not bibi. she's shown time and time again that she was into him, just him. he's seen her down moose and other players. makes his chest swell with happiness. "i want you so bad, baby." chase lets his lips find hers in a desperate, needy kiss, finds her tongue, taste the inside of her mouth. and part of him wants to slide his fingers into her, get her really wet and needy. but he won't. not when he needs her this bad. instead, the blonde breaks the kiss, searches for air in the heat of the car with. there's a hungry look in his eyes as he tugs back, greedy, large hand ripping at her tights, her panties next. didn't mean to rip them either but oops. not his fault the fabric is so thin. he's tugging them down, out of the way, honestly, he didn't care. just needed the fabric to move. "can i have you?" he means with his cock, aching in his jeans to be free. normally such a giver than he worries his bluntness might scare her off. he pauses at that. "or do you want me to go down on you first?" bright greens meet her gaze, licks his bottom lip. he awaits an answer, reaches over to attempt to dig in the car's center console from the awkward angle then frowns. "don't have a condom. fuck, do you?"

[davidzochi]

bill has been consuming my life

[loud-whistling-yes]

nobody touch me i just read kj encore and SO NO ONE'S GONNA FUCKING TALK ABOUT HACHI COMPETING WITH JOKER TO BECOME A THIEF???????

[gifti3]

I still think obey me would have had an easier time writing better characters if they had actual routes (includes harem route) and better story segment to rhythm game ratios

[4giorno]

i got the cutscene <3

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

Why am I even so desperate for this. Out of all the things that I could get stubborn determination over why is it this. Is it because I know the end result would bring me so much silly enjoyment that my brain has sheer will to want to get to that? Why am I. Even so glued to getting a dumb 3D model of him to mess with. Is it cause it gives me something to do? Something to accomplish or fail at or to just not be wasting away time?

[peachlit]

so many people have told me to get a restraining order on my ex….

[aliceindykeland]

monday night i decided to rewatch poor things instead of sleeping and it is the best decision i've ever made in a long fucking while

[reasonsforhope]

"The average pediatric wheelchair can cost thousands of dollars. And when children grow and their needs evolve — or a wheelchair gets damaged — those costs multiply.

So, the team at MakeGood NOLA, a New Orleans-based adaptive design lab, has made something that can transform the world for disabled children.

“Introducing the world’s first fully 3D-printed wheelchair,” MakeGood founder and president Noam Platt started a recent social media video.

He wheels a small, almost toy-like lime-green wheelchair into the frame, complete with a matching harness, suitable for children ages 2 to 8.

“Everything from the body, to the wheels, to the tires, the seat, and even the straps, all were 3D printed on a regular Bambu Labs A1 machine,” Platt continued.

This means the design is fully compatible with a regular 3D printer anyone can have in their home.

“We designed this to be modular and easy to make,” Platt continued. “Really, anyone with a 3D printer and some filament can download the files and print it.” [Note: You can also use 3D printers for free or a small cost at some public libraries and maker spaces, opening up accessibility even further.]

Once the prototype is completely finished, it will be available as a fair-use download that anyone can use for free.

Pictured: The new 3D-printed chair by MakeGood. Photo courtesy of MakeGood NOLA

Platt said that because it has a modular design, the wheelchair can be put together without any tools or glue. And if any part of it breaks or is damaged, users can simply re-print the single piece they need.

“As a wheelchair user I love everything about this,” TikTok user @thisisharlie commented on Platt’s video debuting the wheelchair.

“Mine costs more than my car, I can’t imagine having to buy a new one every year or two as they outgrow it,” @thisisharlie continued. “You’re going to change the world.”

For Platt, that’s always been the plan.

When he created MakeGood in 2021, the nonprofit design lab was thinking of the more than 1 billion people around the globe who live with disabilities.

“Since traditional design often overlooks diverse bodies and minds, it is crucial to reshape the built environment,” MakeGood shares on its website. “The challenges our communities face — both physical and social — are solvable.”

MakeGood works with individuals to co-create their adaptive design solutions, centering the “Need Knower,” the disabled person or their primary caregivers, throughout the entire process.

Since the founding of MakeGood, 1,600 individualized adaptive devices have been delivered to families for free. Platt’s team found a niche with this wheelchair, which they call the Toddler Mobility Trainer, or TMT. 

On its website, the organization says the wheelchairs were “designed with therapists from all over the world” and offer “unmatched mobility and independence to young kids.”

Children and parents agree.

“It’s an A+,” one parent said of an earlier prototype of the TMT in a report by CBS News. “It’s helped [my son] become more mobile and be able to adapt into the other things that he’s going to be offered. It’s helped his development.”

At the start of the design process, Platt reached out to area hospitals to see if he could fill a need.

“Part of it is empowering clinicians that we can go beyond what is commercially available,” Platt told CBS News. “We can really create almost anything.”

Now in the final stages of tweaking the TMT design to be ready for release, Platt is eager to get the wheelchair rolled out and into the homes of the children who need them most.

Pictured: A rendering of the 3D printed design, which will soon be available for download. Photo courtesy of MakeGood NOLA

“We think this sort of 3D printing and design is going to be huge for accessibility, and for wheelchairs specifically,” Platt said in his social media video. 

In the meantime, people can request a free chair from MakeGood.

“We have a growing list of people who’ve requested these, and once we finish the design, we’ll start filling those requests with custom-printed chairs, including things that you might need for your particular chair,” Platt said in a follow-up video.

Because the chairs are easily 3D printed, they can come in any color and can be modified to include other accommodations, like a section to hold a breathing device or other aid. With years of customization and design experience under his belt, this new innovation is simply an extension of Platt’s dedication to inclusive design.

In 2023, Platt told New Mobility: “I feel like every time I deliver one of these [assistive] devices, I get a hopeful feeling that the world has been changed a little bit for the better for the next generation.”"

-via GoodGoodGood, May 8, 2025

[wwinterwitch]

friendly banter — bucky barnes

summary: sam asks for your help on a mission. you're reunited with him, Joaquín and Bucky. the last one really likes to banter. you think it's just a friendly exchange. it's actually a bit more than that

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader (+ platonic friendships with sam and joaquín)

word count: 5k

tags: friends to lovers, sharing feelings (awkward but cute), reader is a hacker and former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, fluff, undisclosed feelings (mutual), kissing

note: this was kind of a mess but i'm back after a long time on not writing any fics! i'm currently in my last months of studying to become a lawyer (yay) and writing fics has proven to be very therapeutic during this time. this may or may not suck but i enjoyed writing it so i hope you enjoy it

please reblog and/or comment if you enjoy!

all masterlists | marvel masterlist | part 2 (features the thunderbolts* now)

"Got eyes on it?"

You stop walking as soon as you hear that question, staring ahead in disbelief. "You mean...the huge panel in the middle of the room?" you ask with obvious sarcasm, trying to speak as quietly as possible through your comm as you make your way further inside the darkened room.

It’s a typical security room with tons of cameras pointing to every corner of the building. To your relief, the presence of your group is apparently still unnoticed as your eyes wander across the various screens in front of you, noticing no commotion or an unnecessarily large group of unfriendly-looking guys rushing to find you. The large panel control installed in the middle of the desk before you is the thing that immediately gets your attention as you walk closer, always keeping in mind the task at hand.

All you really have to do is hack into the system to disable the security protocols long enough for Sam and Joaquín to sneak into the top floors of the building to retrieve the data that they wanted from the bad guy's records in order to find out more about the gang they'll be (hopefully) putting behind bars soon.

This is not the first and definitely not the last time you'll be doing these kinds of favors for Sam. Your friendship goes way back, when you were still a nobody at S.H.I.E.L.D. that somehow managed to get on Captain America's good graces after that whole Washington fiasco. You're still unsure why Steve always thought so highly of you. Then again, he was the type of guy who never failed to see the potential in other people, even when they couldn't quite see it themselves.

Now, you get to help the new Captain America, who's also as dear to you as the previous one was...perhaps just a tiny bit more annoying, but one of your dearest friends regardless.

As you rush over to the panel, you have to jump over the unconscious body of a security guard that Bucky (another dear friend you met thanks to Steve) took care of before you walked inside, quickly taking a seat in front of the large keyboard to start doing your part of the job.

You hear the unmistakable chuckle from Joaquín as you quickly type in a series of codes and commands. "Jeez, I missed having you on our missions!"

"Awwh!" you mutter with genuine endearment. "I missed being part of these missions too, buddy!"

"And we're still going out for drinks after this, right?"

"Are you genuinely asking me that, Joaquín Torres?" you ask, sounding overly offended on purpose.

You hear him laugh again, but before he can say anything back, you hear Bucky interrupting the exchange. "How about we focus on not getting caught here and then you guys can discuss your night plans?"

"Uh-oh, old man got upset," you joke soon after, finishing to type in the last few codes to fully disable the security system. Surely they have some backup protocol that would soon trigger the alarm to alert these guys of an unwanted visitor, but by then all of you will be long gone. It really is a very simple mission.

"He's jealous you're not taking him out for drinks," Sam jokes back, and then you immediately hear Joaquín agreeing with him.

It's a normal occurrence for Sam to be making those kinds of jokes involving you and Bucky. He has been making those types of remarks for as long as you can remember, fully convinced the two of you "have something going on" as he has put it before. You really try not to think too much about it because, first off, Sam loves to say shit just for the sake of pissing you and Bucky off and, second...you really don't want to let those comments get to your head.

You don't want to let yourself wonder about the what if's of that. There was a time in your life when you did allow yourself to fantasize about the possibility of actually "having something going on" with him, but you learnt to shut off that part of your brain in order to avoid getting your hopes up regarding a situation that just wouldn't happen outside your imagination. Hearing Sam’s silly remarks would only bring you back to those days.

Bucky has been one of your best friends for years and he has never shown the slightest of hints that he might be interested in you in the way you would like (at least not that you're aware of), and there was absolutely no way that you would ever make the first move and risk embarrassing yourself in front of him or, even worse, losing the friendship you two have. You eventually just got comfortable in the abyss of eternal friendzone and learned to accept it. If there was ever going to happen something between the two of you, surely it would've happened by now.

Still, Sam seems to be holding onto that rope for dear life and refuses to let it go. You can't deny it’s a bit uncomfortable to hear those jokes though. They somehow make you feel like somehow you got caught and everyone knows you have a secret crush on Bucky, but you've learned to adapt over the years.

"First part's done.” Leaning back on the chair, you watch the percentage bar on the screen before you, completely ignoring Sam's little joke. "A few more seconds and you're up guys!"

"Hallway’s clear," you hear Bucky say, still guarding the room where you're currently in. "How much time do we have to get out of here?"

"Uh...I can't say for sure. Anywhere near five to thirty, maybe?"

"Minutes?"

"Seconds."

"Oh, great," he mutters ironically.

"Well, I'm sorry. We're hacking into a very sophisticated system that I don't entirely know how it works!" you snap back at him. "Besides, the whole point of this is to give Joaquín and Sam enough time to sneak inside without having to deal with a bunch of guards going straight for them. Bad guys will know we're down here and they'll come looking for us first."

"Isn't hacking your whole thing? How do you not know how it works?" he asks, and just by the tone of his voice you know he's trying to piss you off, because he knows that's exactly the type of comments that would make you upset. If that type of comment came from a stranger you would be strangling them right now, but it’s Bucky, and he seems to enjoy annoying the shit out of you.

"Big talk coming from someone who still asks for my help because he barely knows how to unlock his own phone."

The sound of his faint chuckle immediately makes you smile, perfectly picturing the way he's probably rolling his eyes just barely right now, trying to suppress a smirk as if you could possibly see him right now, knowing he hates when you point it out to him.

"You have to give me some credit, though. I know how to program emails on that thing now. Soon enough I'll be taking your job, so you better watch out."

You can't help but laugh at his reply, slightly shaking your head as you realize you’re getting distracted by him, trying to keep your focus on what you're supposed to be doing right now rather than indulge in a never ending back-and-forth with him. As soon as you type the last codes and the large SECURITY SYSTEM: DISABLED alert pops on the monitor, you quickly rise up from your seat. "You're up guys, hurry!"

"On it!" Sam replies as you rush outside the room.

Before he even says anything to you, Bucky is quickly guiding you down the hallway with the intent of getting out of there as soon as possible, turning to look at you with a confused expression when you stop walking and, instead, start yanking his arm to go in the opposite direction.

"What are you doing?"

"The exit is that way," you point out as if it’s obvious.

He looks even more confused now, and slightly annoyed. "Don't think so. That's the way we entered, but there's another way of leaving this place a lot faster."

"No, we can't change the plan!"

He definitely looks annoyed now, trying not to snap at you. "I'm not changing the plan. Exiting that way has always been the plan. If we go that way, we'll-"

Before he can say anything else, the loud sound of an alarm blasts through the entire building, signaling that you've been discovered and you'll be having company very soon. As if that wasn't enough, the door of the room you were previously in opens violently, and the guard that was previously unconscious on the floor is frantically alerting more people through his radio.

“Oh, that’s great,” you point out, slightly panicking right now because you’re still inside the building. “You decided to wake up early, huh?”

Bucky immediately grabs the guy by his bulletproof vest to throw him against the wall, taking his barely regained consciousness to his advantage. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice about six other guys coming towards you, turning around the same corner you wanted to run towards as part of your escape plan. Sadly, that's when you realized maybe the direction Bucky was suggesting was better.

You’re unsure of what to do now. It's not like you haven't been taught how to take down a few bad guys, but your specialities have always involved computers rather than physical combat. Almost as if he could read your mind, Bucky turns towards you for a quick second. "Go! I'll catch up to you." Again, almost as if he knew that you'd try to ask if he was sure about it, he immediately shouts yet another "Go!" before you're finally deciding to do as he says, running down the hall in the direction he has intended to go before.

Hours later, second after second that passes by, you’re more and more convinced that you'll never hear the end of it. If only you could go back in time and just agree with Bucky's plan rather than trying to argue with him. It would have spared you a lifetime of him reminding you how he was right and you were wrong.

Turns out his exit plan was the one you should've followed all along, because it actually led to the engine room which immediately meant being in a much less crowded part of the building to escape without risking bumping into more people.

All of you had enough time to change into something more comfortable to go out for drinks. Initially it was something you and Joaquín had planned alone, but evidently the two of you didn’t hesitate to invite Sam and Bucky. Of course they accepted the invite, and of course Bucky has done his very best to keep reminding you of your little mistake.

"Listen, if you don't want shit like that to happen again, just let me know your plan beforehand."

"But I did let you know. The problem is that someone is not really a good listener."

"No. Letting me know- like, properly letting me know, would've been telling me before we got inside that building."

Bucky smirks as he leans back on his chair, and it's obvious to you he's really enjoying this banter. "Plan changed at the last minute. If you would've just followed my lead, we could've left that building a lot faster."

"Ah, so you do recognize that wasn't the original plan!" you exclaim with a triumphant grin, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "You changed it all by yourself and didn't tell me."

"Changed at the last minute," he repeats, as if to correct you. "You wanted me to stand there and explain every detail to you?"

"Oh, as if explaining it would've taken you hours! You’re always so dramatic."

"Children," Sam commented, interrupting the banter with an unamused expression. "I had to trust the operation to literal children."

Bucky scoffs at that comment, watching as Sam lets out a chuckle, shaking his head after witnessing this whole interaction between the two of you.

"Kinda makes you appreciate having an actual professional around, huh?" Joaquín says right after, flashing a charming smile in Sam's direction.

"Oh, please!" you, Bucky and Sam reply in unison, earning an offended look from Joaquín.

Soon after, Bucky is speaking again. "You know what? I'll give you some credit. You managed to do your part of the job…decently."

It’s obvious he wants a reaction from you, but even if your banter is entertaining, you know you can't keep bickering the entire night. Once again, you can’t help but to feel embarrassed, as if everyone at that table knows your little secret regarding your feelings towards Bucky. As if some innocent banter between friends could ever give it away. Besides, the four of you are here to celebrate your mission was a success, and the fact that you haven't seen the trio in a long time makes it the perfect opportunity to catch up.

Pretending to fully ignore his last comment, you turn to look at Sam from across the table. "You. I haven't seen your lovely face in a while," you start, watching him physically get ready for whatever silly comment you might come up with. "Tell me what you've been up to...I've seen the photos of you shaking hands with the President," the reference to Everett Ross sounding anything but endearing.

Sam sighs, shrugging. "Yeah, well, I guess you can say it's part of the job," he simply replies before taking a quick sip of his beer. "I can't say I'm thrilled about it, but I figured it's best to compromise a bit and keep the man happy. As long as he stays in line, I'll cooperate."

"Of course you're not thrilled about it, Sam. That's the same guy that put your ass in a prison in the middle of nowhere like you were some kind of top security criminal!" you reply almost immediately, still in disbelief at the revelation of any sort of alliance between him and Ross. Sam's expression lets you know that even he is still conflicted about it, not really knowing what to say. After taking a brief pause, you try to say something else to lighten the mood, not wanting him to think like you’re judging him for it. "Hey, I understand having to keep up appearances. I get it. And please accept my deepest condolences for having to deal with that piece of shit."

Your last comment makes the three of them laugh, and Bucky takes the opportunity to change the subject. "And what have you been up to?" he asks, sounding genuinely curious. "It's been a while since any of us has seen you."

"Well, my life has been all over the place the last few months. As all of you know, I moved into a new apartment. I loved my roommate, but I felt it was time to just live by myself, you know?"

"So no plans of leaving New York to move to D.C., huh?" Joaquín asks with a smile.

You return the smile immediately. "As fun as it would be to live closer to all of you weirdos, no. I plan to stay in New York for now. I'm just really comfortable there with the new apartment, the promotion I got a few months ago, the fact that most of my family and friends are there..."

"But not all your friends," Sam quickly points out, pretending to sound incredibly offended by your last statement. "But since we’re talking about friends and just social life in general...are you still single?"

"Why are you always so interested in my love life?" you joke with a playful grin, taking a sip of your margarita to leave him wondering the answer just a few seconds more. "Yes, I'm still single. Queen's full of creeps," you added shortly after. "Are any of you seeing anybody?"

"Proudly and happily single," Joaquín replies, raising his drink up as if to cheer before taking a sip.

Sam gives him a very visible side-eye. "Yikes," is all he says regarding that, turning back to you. "I'm not interested in dating right now, to be honest. I’m quite a busy gentleman, you know?" 

“And you say ‘yikes’ to me?” Joaquín says immediately after, looking dumbfounded.

You chime in before any of them could add anything else regarding that. “Bucky?” you ask, turning to look at him as you await his answer.

It was a bold move to directly ask him that question. On one hand, you know Bucky has always been a loner so you’re almost certain that he’s single. But there’s always that tiny percentage of probability that you’ll learn a truth you’re not sure how you’ll handle. He’s your best friend, of course you’ll be happy if he’s happy…but the idea of him revealing to you that he’s dating someone might actually make you physically sick.

You notice Bucky gets uncomfortable right away. “I’m single too.”

The pleasant feeling of relief lasts just a few seconds. The fact that Sam laughs at Bucky’s reply has your mind spinning, not understanding why he would laugh at that. Why the fuck is he laughing? Should you start panicking already?

"Actually, our buddy has been on a few dating apps, I believe."

Oh no. 

Even when you try to remind yourself not to care about anything remotely romantic involving Bucky- or at least, not to care more than a platonic friend would, you can deny the news of him possibly dating someone or even just randomly talking to any person in those apps makes your stomach turn. It really wouldn't be dramatic to claim that you could quite literally throw up right now at the thought of him and someone else right now.

It's not common to hear any sort of updates regarding Bucky's love life because...well, there's never any developments. He's never shown interest in anyone, and as far as you know he's never had any sort of relationship with anyone like that– serious or casual. What if he's interested in exploring that part of his life now? What if he has found someone already and you're about to hear him talk all about them? It makes you genuinely sick, but you try your best to act as unbothered as you possibly can, forcing you to mask your disgust and heartbreak with pleasant surprise.

"Is that so?" is all you say.

He looks even more uncomfortable by the subject, choosing to look down at his almost finished beer. "It's not...I was just trying to put myself out there," he says awkwardly, shrugging. "Long story short, online dating is not for me. I hated it."

You could tell he doesn’t really like talking about this subject, so you try to quickly ease the tension with a bit of humor. Besides, you're probably better off without hearing anything regarding that topic anyway. "It's because you couldn't figure out how the whole swiping thing worked, isn't it?"

Bucky immediately seems to relax with your joke, chuckling a bit. "It took me a few days actually." He takes a quick pause before continuing. "I probably should've asked you for help."

If there was any hidden message behind his last statement, it completely goes over your head because you genuinely thought it was just part of your playful banter regarding his lack of skills when it comes to technology. You laugh, and in return Bucky offers you a smile because that's as much hinting as he dares to do out loud, especially if Sam and Joaquín are sitting right there. He's incredibly used to you never getting his subtle implications anyway.

In front of you, the other two guys are watching this exchange unfold, and it's hard to tell which one of them has a bigger urge to tell you to stop being so fucking oblivious already. As subtle as he can be, Joaquín pokes Sam's side with his elbow to give him a quick heads-up before speaking. "Considering everyone's almost finished, Sam and I are getting another round of drinks."

The two of them are standing up when they notice you're grabbing your purse and standing up as well. "Oh, I can go with you. I have to go to the restroom anyway."

The two of them want to yet again yell at you to please get a grip on the situation, but Sam just silently takes a seat as you and Joaquín go over to the bar, quickly telling him what you want to order before heading towards the restroom.

A few drinks later the four of you are finally leaving the bar. Sam and Joaquín left to their respective houses while you and Bucky shared an Uber back to his own place. He was kind enough to let you crash in his spare room for the night. It's not like this is the first time you've ever stayed at his apartment when you visit the boys, but you can't deny the idea is both thrilling and terrifying- not like anything would happen to make you feel like that...you two are just friends...but, still...your silly head likes to get silly ideas sometimes.

Deciding not to indulge in your little fantasies, you decide to start a conversation. "Update on the food?" you ask, turning to look at Bucky, who sits comfortably on the sofa of his living room.

"Like ten minutes away," he says, taking a quick look at the screen. "How come you haven't congratulated me for knowing how to order food with this thing?" he added with evident surprise, making you chuckle.

"Because you keep saying 'this thing' like it's some mysterious device completely unknown to mankind," you reply, and before you can stop yourself, you continue. "It's cute, I guess, so congratulations."

Bucky's grin grows wider. "Oh, so it's cute?"

You try really hard not to panic, feeling incredibly embarrassed. The fact that he seems to be enjoying what you just said makes it even worse, because you know he’ll use that to tease you now. He just finds any possible excuse to do it. "Cute as in lame."

He chuckles. "Right."

Not knowing what else to say, you clear your throat before walking towards him, taking a seat next to him as you try to come up with something else to change the subject immediately. "I'm starving," is all you say, mentally scolding you for such a poor effort.

As soon as you're sitting, you unsuccessfully try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach when he leans just a bit closer...perhaps if you weren't hyper vigilant whenever the two of you are too near you might've missed it. And then, he stretches his arm across the back of the sofa, right behind you.

For a second, you even thought of mocking him for such a move, but bringing more attention to it would only make you that much nervous, and you really don't want to embarrass yourself. And most importantly, you don't want your silly mind and your silly heart to get their hopes up. You're just friends, nothing else.

"Me too," he agrees, the playful grin on his face still not disappearing. "Might have to steal a few fries from you."

"Oh, I'd really like to see you try stealing my food," you reply in the same playful tone, leaning just a little closer to him without even noticing that you were actually doing that.

"I think I deserve some compensation after what happened today. You know, for all the unnecessary ass-kicking I had to do."

"Just when I thought you had moved on from that!" you reply, jokingly slapping his knee. "It wasn't my fault, it was yours for not telling me the plan on time!"

"You should've just trusted me," he insists. "But you always have to be right on everything..."

You know he's joking. There's something about bantering with you that seems to absolutely fascinate him. "Yeah, and you always want to piss me off."

Bucky chuckles again, and that's when you feel his hand gently resting on your shoulder, his arm fully around you. What the actual fuck is going on. "What, you think I like pissing you off?" he asks, tone slightly lower than before, which inevitably makes the butterflies in your stomach multiply. "Is that why you think I do it?"

You were quiet for a moment, your brain not entirely registering what's happening. "I mean...yeah."

He stops for a second, and you almost see a hint of hesitation on his face before he speaks, letting out a frustrated sigh. "For someone who claims to be so much more clever than anyone else, I would've expected you to figure it out sooner," he starts, shaking his head with a soft smile. "I've been actually flirting with you, doll."

The comment evidently takes you by surprise and all you can do is to stare back at him like a complete fool. His arm around your shoulders, the proximity, the fact he had the fucking audacity to call you that nickname...did you somehow fall asleep on his couch without noticing and this is the type of oddly-realistic dream your brain decided to come up with? Are you still standing there like a fool just fantasizing and this one just got way too immersive? And did he really just say that he's been flirting with you?

Noticing you weren't saying anything, he decides to continue, looking a little hesitant and disappointed with your silence. "You know, it'd be really nice if you say something..."

"Awful way to flirt," is all you could come up with, which immediately makes him burst out laughing. 

"Maybe," he agrees. "But I can’t believe you didn’t figure it out. I mean…Sam and Joaquín did a long time ago."

"The three of you share the same brain cell, of course they figured it out a long time ago,” you reply, still in complete shock to be having this conversation with him. Were you really that blind? "You could’ve just asked me."

"You know I'm not direct like that," he replies, and the shy look on his face almost makes your heart melt. "Like I said, I was relying on your impressive intelligence to figure it out."

You let out a soft chuckle after his last comment, immediately giving him a warning look. "Don't." He looks back at you for a few seconds, almost wanting to challenge you after noticing the way you’re looking at him. Soon enough, he’s unable to hide his smirk anymore. "There it is," you point out, knowing he hates that.

Bucky lets out a soft grunt as a complaint, resting his head on your shoulder. Encouraged, you immediately move a hand up to his hair, affectionately playing with it. The two of you stay like that, simply enjoying being so close to each other. It feels incredibly right.

"So how do you feel?" he eventually asks, perhaps feeling braver to ask now that he doesn’t have to look into your eyes when he does.

You don’t reply right away, still feeling incredibly nervous despite knowing he does like you back. Eventually, you do build up the courage to say something. "I like you. Like, a lot."

Bucky moves back to look at you know. The look on his face gives you the impression that he wasn’t expecting you to be so honest with your answer, perhaps expecting another silly joke or sarcastic remark. And even though you thought about the possibility of choosing a more humorous approach, after keeping your feelings for him locked up and stored away for so long, you really needed to just say it.

Instead of saying something back, Bucky tightens his grip around your shoulders just enough, using his other hand to grab your chin right before kissing you. It certainly takes you by surprise, but you're quickly returning the kiss as you just completely melt in his arms, still trying to convince yourself that this is not some kind of hyper-realistic dream.

His hand swiftly moves to your cheek as the kiss continues, the gesture so incredibly delicate, a sharp contrast with the pure need he’s transmitting through the kiss. It’s desperate, passionate, intense…like he’s been waiting an entire lifetime to finally be able to experience this, grateful for the absolute privilege that it is to kiss you.

One of your hands moves up to the back of his neck and your touch seems to encourage him that much more because before you know it, he's taking the opportunity to gently bite your bottom lip, right before continuing to make out with you.

Much to yours and Bucky's disappointment, the sound of his apartment's doorbell echoes through the apartment, indicating the food you previously ordered has arrived.

He reluctantly pulls away with a soft grunt. "Food's here," he comments out loud, offering you a soft smile. He takes a brief moment to look at you, brushing his thumb against your cheek in an affectionate manner, dreading the idea of having to leave this couch. "I'll get it."

"I can help," you offer almost immediately.

Instead of replying right away, he leans in for a short kiss. "I'll get it," he insists, quickly making his way to the door after another buzz could be heard.

You sat in his living room in complete disbelief of what just happened, thankful that he's not here right now to see your goofy smile and blushed cheeks. He'd probably tease you to no end if he did see that.

Not knowing what else to do, you immediately reach for your phone, opening your messages. You knew exactly who would be the right people to share the news with.

'uhm so we just kissed??????' you texted, the first message in the group chat you just created with Sam and Joaquín.

Joaquín is the first one to reply. 'HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!'

'FUCKING FINALLY.' Sam texts shortly after.