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baronessvonglitter · 5 months ago

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Cherry, Cherry 🍒 Chapter 4 🍒

"Ride Along"

pre-outbreak! AU!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Word count: 2.610

Summary: during your ride along, you and Joel become a bit closer.

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, sexual innuendo, flirting, Joel openly gawking at you, you gawking at Joel's delicious biceps, mutual pining (though you're both too nervous to make the first move), you now have a song 🥰, age gap (reader is 18, Joel is 35), reader's race not mentioned, no use of y/n

Author's Note: this was one of the more fun chapters to write! It also brings us the song which (in part) gave me the idea for this story. Give it a listen and tell me you can't see yourself in Joel's truck on a sunny day, windows down, music blasting ☺️

Series Masterlist

The rest of the weekend you spend in daydreams, imagining scenarios that are unlikely to happen, if only to prepare yourself for what may actually happen. Joel is not likely to sneak into your room through your window, nor to approach you in a dimly lit corner at your job. But you like to think you'd have a handle on what would happen next. You like to think he'd be impressed by your maturity, that you're not like other girls your age.

But you have to admit that at the same time you realize you have no idea of the bounds you're crossing, of what lies beyond those daydreams that play out quite safely in your head. You cannot control Joel but it's very likely he can control you, and you're not sure whether that thought excites you or scares you.

Trevor is out of sight, out of mind. He hasn't even bothered to give you a call. Whatever he sensed between you and Joel at the party that night has obviously hurt him, and he's run back to Houston to lick his wounds. You are surprised that you don't think anything about him except mild annoyance.

Should it scare you that an older man is attracted to you? You could easily shut him out, cut it off before whatever this is branches into something uncontrollable. Right now you're safe.

But what if you're tired of safety?

You're living in your cousin's house, per your mother's permission, driving a car that was handed down to you, attending a school that everyone thought was best for you.

So what's wrong with taking a little something for yourself? Figuring something out on your own, even if you might get hurt in the process? Even if you might get rejected?

Curiosity killed the cat, so the saying goes.. But is there any quote about luck? Because it's purely luck that carries you as you catch up with Joel just before he leaves for work one sunny day. Dressed in a white tee with the sleeves rolled up, high-waisted shorts and your favorite Converse high tops, you catch up with him at his passenger window. "I'm coming with you today," you say with more confidence than you feel, now that you're actually face to face with Joel again. You're taking the initiative because he hasn't reached out. Too late you realize you may be an inconvenience.

Joel looks like a deer in headlights, and for a moment you find it so cute. "Oh.. really? I, uh.. sure, that works." He pops the automatic locks on his door and waits until you step in to turn the engine on.

You smile brightly, heart hammering in your chest. "Good, because I'm buying lunch for us later." You put on your seat belt. "Where are we going first?"

He eyes you as you make yourself comfortable in his truck, and it doesn't escape you that his gaze travels up your legs and to your thighs. You wonder if he's remembering how they feel around him. Then he clears his throat and begins to back out of the driveway. "Well, we got two more new jobs that need to be done, so we'll head to those first." His arm reaches across the back of your headrest as he maneuvers the truck onto the street.

"What kinds of sites are they? Residential? Commercial?"

Joel glances at you and a smirk crosses his lips. "You've done your homework on the contracting business, haven't ya?"

You blush with pride. "There's this beautiful thing called the internet," you remind him.

"Ah, that's a foreign concept to a dinosaur like myself," his deep, warm voice sounds serious but there's a twinkle in his eyes. "Actually, they're both residential jobs. New roofing on one, and the other..." he trails off and you realize he's lost in thought, looking down, obviously distracted by the point where the hem of your jean shorts meets the flesh of your thigh. "The, uh, other job.. is rebuilding a garage." You smile as he forces his eyes back to the road, your heart skips several beats.

"Maybe it's time for some music?" you suggest, as the tension is palpable, and you know he can feel it.

"Yeah, sounds good to me." He reaches over and turns on the radio. The end of an oldies song blasts from the speakers, and is followed by another, and you immediately recognize the bright guitar melody, it's the opening of "Cherry, Cherry". With a grin you start swaying along to the music.

"I love this song," Joel says, his expression one of wonderment. "What's a kid like you know about Neil Diamond?"

"Just that this is one of my favorite songs," you reply with a cheeky grin. "And now it'll remind me of this moment."

Baby loves me, yes, yes she does Ah, the girl's outta sight, yeah Says she loves me, yes, yes she does Mmm, gonna show me tonight, yeah

When he smiles at you there's a warmth in his eyes. "It'll remind me of this moment, too."

"Then I guess this is our song," you say with certitude, leaning back against the seat, the wind ruffling your hair. "Joel, can I ask you something.. kinda personal?"

It looks like he's mentally and physically preparing himself for what your question could be. "Sure. What's up?"

You pause, second-guessing yourself. "So, why don't you have a girlfriend? I mean, I assume you're single." Your voice shakes a little as you ask, and you wonder if he can hear it.

Joel reddens slightly. "Well.. I've just been really busy with work and raisin' Sarah. Never really had time to invest in a relationship before."

You want to ask about Sarah's mom. It's been a burning question ever since you've known him, and you haven't been able to get any information from Sarah herself, whose face clouded at any mention of a lack of female presence in her life. For now it doesn't feel right to ask, and you don't want to put a dent in the fledgling friendship between you and Joel. That's a question you tuck away into your pocket for a later time. Your expression turns playful. "I guess it must be harder as you get older."

He gives a little chuckle. "Yeah, as you get older it gets harder. Women start to want kids.. want to get married."

"Are you against getting married?" you ask, genuinely curious.

There's a long silence from him and you worry whether you've crossed a boundary, brought up a sore subject. "I don't know," he answers with a shrug of his shoulders.

"I get it. Honestly the odds are against married couples. Over fifty percent of marriages end in divorce."

"Yeah. I know a lot of guy who've been burned in marriage."

You wonder if he's including himself in that number and your eyes soften. You feel it's callous to prod him and give pointless statistics. "One of my best friends back home is getting married soon. Her boyfriend proposed on graduation day. He's going into the Marines.. I can't imagine getting married at eighteen."

"Well, I can't say I'd be totally against marriage, if it was with the right person." Joel's smile is nervous, and he focuses on driving.

You could ask him what the qualifications are, and measure yourself against them, but you highly doubt 'teenaged college freshman' is one of the distinguishing characteristics he'll mention wanting in a wife. So you gracefully change the subject as you see the job site up ahead. "I'm excited to see you in action," you grin at him.

"You're excited to see me in action?" he repeats. "Well get ready. 'Cause I'll show you how I do it."

Your heart skips a beat and your blush at his innuendo. Is it innuendo?

It has to be, because he continues. "If you want, you can be my assistant. I can tell you exactly how I want things done." He gives you a side-eye and smirks. He drives up to the site and parks.

You bite your lip, taking the bait. "I'm a fast learner." You're flirting, yes, flirting back.

"I'll show you everything you need to know.."

You wet your lips with your tongue, your face still red. "I'll bet there's a lot you could teach me.."

"There is," his voice is husky, almost strained. "I'd enjoy teachin' you."

There's a tingling in your body as the flirtation seems to have taken a serious turn. Your brain locks up, taking the safest route back. "You're funny, Joel." Your smile is forced.

There's a moment of quiet, a silence that is rife with tension. "I'm not tryin' to be."

You look at him. A new tension fills the air, something exciting and new. You swallow hard. "Think we should get out?"

His countenance changes abruptly, back to factory settings. "If you want. They're almost done here, so it shouldn't take too long."

"Trying to get rid of me that quickly?"

He smirks again and hands you a bright yellow hard hat. "Come on, it's hard hat time. Can't have you gettin' hurt while you're my assistant, now can I?"

You put the hat on and it's a little bigger than you need. Seeing that smirk on his face has brought out something within you, and the words bubble up in your throat. "Can't do it without protection," you smirk back.

"Very true," he says, and you admire him with that yellow piece of plastic on his head. "But there are certain times for exceptions."

"Really? When are those times?" You watch him blush. "Come on, you're the expert. You tell me."

Now out of the truck he eyes you again, and this time you let yourself bask in how it feels. "Am I dressed okay?"

He swallows hard and gives a curt nod. "You won't see me complainin'." Just then a hopeful look crosses his face, as if he's remembered something. "You doin' anything tonight?"

Your heart leaps and you shut your mouth tight in fear it may just jump right out and land at Joel's feet. "Um, I don't think so. Why?"

He rubs the back of his neck and you watch, enrapt, as his bicep flexes. "Well me, Tommy, and some of the guys are gettin' together for a beer after work and Sarah's gonna be all by herself. I'm not sayin' she needs a babysitter, but I know she'd rather spend time with you than alone. Would you be okay comin' over, or her comin' to you?"

Your smile is wide so as to cover the hurt you feel that he didn't ask you out, and then you feel foolish for having thought it would happen at all. "Of course, Joel." Though Sarah probably would have come over even without her dad suggesting it.

"Yeah.. thanks. It's just gonna be.. y'know.. catchin' up with some friends who are in town."

You raise your brow, silently wondering if those friends include women, older women who have more confidence and experience than you. "You gonna wear something other than this?" You playfully tug at his gray t-shirt.

His grin is infectious. He obviously likes your teasing. "You don't think it looks good on me?"

"You look good all the time," you reply, walking ahead, smiling, blushing.

You watch as Joel checks out the site, giving instructions to different workers. It's a side of him you've never seen before. You watch him when you know he's not looking, taking in the way his clothes hug him in all the right places, especially his biceps: round, thick and smooth, half-hidden under his t-shirt sleeves.

When you stop for lunch at a sandwich place, you both sit in the bed of the truck, enjoying your meal. "So tonight.." you wash down your food with some water. "Should I have Sarah at my place in case you bring someone home?" It hurts to ask, as if by simply suggesting that such a thing would happen, that it already has.

Joel only shakes his head, a little amused by your question. "I don't think there's much of a chance of that happenin', sweetheart."

He calls you 'sweetheart' and it's like a caress on your skin. You have to remember to breathe. "You never know. You're hot, you have to know that." At this Joel nearly chokes on his food and you chuckle, patting his back until he's okay again. "There are some women out there who prefer a no-strings attached kind of thing."

"No-strings-attached isn't my thing," he says solidly. "I'm gettin' too old for that kinda bullshit. I want strings attached."

His gaze upon you is piercing, liable to steal your breath away. "I guess that's how it should be. Just two people for each other."

"Yeah.. two people for each other." He finishes his lunch and so do you. "We should be headin' to the next site."

He has to be teasing me. It's just meaningless chatter to someone young and inexperienced. He's having fun at my expense because I'm allowing it.

On the drive to the next, you keep quiet, thinking deeply. Oldies play on the radio but you block out the details of who and what is playing.

"Looks like you'll finally be rid of me after this," you tell him once you're parked at the second site. You get out together.

He chuckles. "Yeah, finally. Some peace and quiet."

You smile back. "Aw, you'll miss me."

"Oh, I don't think I'll miss you for one second." Joel puts his hands on his hips, a silly, defiant stance.

You poke his chest. "If you say so."

He pokes you right back. "Yeah, I say so."

"Come on, don't you have a job to do?"

"Yeah, come on, sweetheart. Let's get to work." This plays out the same as at the first site. Your eyes don't even take in the architecture of what these men are doing. You just see Joel.

"I thought I might get to see you in action," you say once you're away from the builders. "I thought I'd get to see you hammering or sawing.."

"You want to see me use my muscles or somethin', sweetheart?" He steps close to you. "I don't think you can handle it."

"You don't know what I can handle," you tell him with a little attitude, your hand on your hip.

"Sweetheart, you're about half my size. I don't think you could handle what I'm packing." He wears a smug smirk. "But I'd love to show you."

Not for the first time you feel a rush of heat to your core. "I'd love to see it.."

He's even closer to you now. Your entire body sizzles. "Maybe it's time I show you exactly what you'd be working with, sweetheart."

Joel's phone chirps and he frowns as he picks it up. The mood, while not shattered, has changed and you're both back on Planet Earth. You can't help but feel a little bummed.

"I have an emergency I need to tend to. Is it okay if I drop you off real quick?"

"Sure," you smile. On the ride home Joel is on his phone, talking to one of the men on his crew, discussing the problem in question. Your thighs stick to the leather seats. Once you're home he gives a quick smile and wave before driving off.

As you walk through the door you get a text from Hailey, a friend from the cafe. party tonight! finally 21! come thru

You said you'd keep Sarah company while Joel is out, but maybe there's a way you can do both..

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#pedro pascal #joel miller #ao3 fanfic #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfic #joel smut #joel tlou #joel miller au #pre outbreak!joel #cherrycherry #pedro boys #pedro pascal character smut #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal cinematic universe

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totally-california · 4 months ago

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You’re president of the United States for a single 4-year term. You have full majority in the House and Senate. What are you (planning on) doing?

For me:

Immediately cutting weapon supplies to Israel and redirecting them to Ukraine so they can fight Russia (likely by declaring martial law)

Pass a federal law that states that you cannot prevent someone from getting an abortion before sixteen weeks of pregnancy as well as you cannot ban someone from using contraceptives

Add gay marriage as a constitutionally protected right (worded along the lines of ‘two people of consenting age are allowed to be together no matter their gender unless circumstances, such as abuse or large age gap including an inappropriate age for one party, occur)

Make school lunches free for as many states as possible

Improve the border situation by adding additional entry points along the border for people seeking asylum

Tax large corporations and rich billionaires higher than the average citizen, lower taxes for lower middle class and lower class citizens, and prevent housing companies from buying/owning more than 1000 houses on the market at any given time. (This will help stop inflation on house prices and potentially even bring it down)

Raise the age of consent to 18 in all states.

Prevent curfews being lawfully in place for people of a specific gender, sexuality, or race (probably by making it unconstitutional)

Decrease funding for the whole military (and put it mostly towards the Coast Guard), continue the disassemble of nuclear weapons (we do not need 500,000 nukes. It’s not useful. And there are better, deadlier, more effective weapons the US has at its disposal that don’t cause radiation and kill the environment for decades)

Improve funding for the study of ADHD and other neurological conditions to reduce false diagnosis while increasing access to the proper medical care and/or treatment needed to identify them

Address climate change by providing extra tax breaks to people with solar panels and/or ZEV’s. (Short for Zero Emission Vehicles) this would include electric cars, and also hybrid cars.

Add term limits for senators and house representatives (2 terms for the Senate, 4 for the House) and make it so the Supreme Court no longer serves for life, but for 3 major election cycles (12 years).

A federal law that if, after 7 years, a debt that has interest is not paid off but the original cost of the debt was, the debt is canceled.

That’s all I could think of, but what are you guys considering? Under the cut are people I follow on my main account or are friends with (I’m not telling you what my main account is though, just know I follow you)

@mrvolition @the-official-goose-god @wikipedia-the-official @maryland-officially @houston-official

@just-ray @walmart-the-official @bingle-official @tameable50

@wannabelaika @ohio-thestate @definitely-mihoyo

#us politics #your vote matters #vote blue #but remember to push her for the policies you want #be the change you want to see in the world #anyways yeah #fuck the haters

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gracieheartspedro · 1 year ago

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I Can See You

PART 3 is HERE!

joel miller x fem! reader

Hi lovers! Sorry this took so long, life got busy and ADHD is a bitch. But here it is! My next post will probably be a different drabble/one-shot. If you have any requests, PLEASE hit me up! I am open to a bunch of different ideas!

Word count: 3k+

Warnings: MINORS DNI! 18+ pleaseeee, DBF! Joel, age gap-ish (the reader is 25, Joel is 39), joel is a bad cook, smut, unprotected p in v, oral (f receiving), fingering, pet names, tons of dirty talk.

Outline: She gets invited over for dinner and a movie night? Just a movie, huh?

PART 1 PART 2

“So Joel told me he’s coming over today,” Dad says from across the dining room table as I eat my breakfast, “With Sarah?”

I stop and chew slower, trying to hold back a smirk.

Ever since we fucked in the conference room, I’ve been texting Joel every day. Sometimes it was naughty sexts and other times it was him asking how my day was going and what my weekend plans were.

A couple of days ago, he called me instead of texting, which was odd. He asked if Sarah could come swim in our pool because she wouldn’t stop asking about it.

So I agreed, telling him that Saturdays were the best day for me. I also told him he had to be around just in case anything happened and I wouldn't be 100% liable for Sarah’s well-being.

“Yeah, I told her she could come over and swim in the pool. She wanted to practice her backstroke.”

He smiles, “Nice for you to have her over, but are you okay with it just being y’all? I can stay home from this conference so I can entertain Joel.”

I shake my head quickly. Maybe a bit too quickly.

“No dad, it’s fine,” I take a sip of orange juice, “They will only be here for the afternoon. It’s not worth you missing two days in Houston. You need to go.”

He takes my word for it and hurries to finish his breakfast. He should’ve left at 6am, but here we are at 10 and he’s still not left. I texted Joel under the table as soon as he took his plate to the sink.

Pops is still here. You and Sarah are welcome as soon as he leaves.

I bring my half-finished eggs to the trash, scooping them into bin.

“Do you need me to leave my credit card?”

I shake my head, “No, it’s fine. Joel is buying us pizza in return of allowing Sarah to use our pool.”

“You better not have told him we needed something in return of using the goddamn pool,” Dad fusses, “He is always welcome to it. God knows you hardly use it.”

I roll your eyes, “No, I didn’t say that to him.”

I actually told him that he could bend me over the kitchen counter in return for using the pool.

I feel my phone buzz.

From: Joel Miller

Can’t wait to see you, baby.

–

Dad left, and not even an hour later, Joel pulled up with Sarah in his truck. He was sporting some black swim trunks and gray t-shirt. Sarah giddily got out of the truck, sporting a pink one piece and flip flops. She hurried to the door, where she found me sporting the skimpiest bikini I owned.

It was a red triangle bikini top and the cheekiest bottoms in my collection. Something very casual.

Sarah gave me a warm smile, racing into the house and to the back sliding doors. It’s like she knew exactly where to go. Joel took his time grabbing their stuff. I lean against the door frame, taking him in.

As soon as his eyes met mine, his eyes quickly averted down my body. He creeps closer, slinging his towel over his shoulder.

“Evil,” He mutters walking pass me, “You can’t be doin’ this around Sarah.”

I smile, shutting the door behind him. He looms over me and I get a whiff of sunscreen.

“Doing what?” I ask innocently.

He glances into the back yard where Sarah is already getting ready to jump into the pool. He’s making sure she’s not watching.

His arm wraps around my waist, grabbing onto my bare ass. I feel very small when I look up at him. His brown eyes bore into mine.

“You sure are lucky that my Sarah is here, because if she wasn’t,” He pauses, “I’d take you right in front of the window here.”

He gestures to the window right by the front door.

“But you’d like that wouldn’t you? Show the neighborhood who’s pussy this is.”

His hand rests right above the hem of my bottoms. I bite my lip. He knows what to say to make my brain melt and my words jumble together. But it’s a game.

I needed the chase, it made everything with Joel so much more satisfying and dangerous.

I contemplate for a moment, before grabbing his chin gingerly.

“Why don’t you order those pizzas, babe?”

“Look at this dive, Dad!”

I prop myself up on my lounger chair, watching Sarah dive into the deep end. Joel is meandering around the pool, his skin so beautifully touched by the sun. His tan was deep and seeing it glisten with the water all over his body, was just icing on the cake.

“Very nice, baby,” He glances my way, noticing I’ve finally risen from my spot. After stuffing myself with pizza, I knew I had to lay out and let my bloated stomach go back to normal.

I watch him rise from the water, using the steps to make his way over to me. The weight of the water drags his shorts a bit lower and seeing his toned tummy was a sight to behold.

I look around him to see Sarah swimming laps, making sure she was occupied. He plops down next to me in the other lounger, grabbing his aviator suns from the table between us.

“What’s your plans while your dad is gone?�� He questions, propping his sunglasses on his nose.

I shrug, leaning towards him to whisper, “Thinkin’ I’ll go across the street and fuck that hot MILF everyone won’t stop talkin’ about.”

He shakes his head, “That poor lady has a name, ya know?”

“It’s like Susan, isn’t it?”

“Lauren.”

I groan, “She even has a hot girl name! God damn!”

He chuckles, “No but seriously, what are you doin’?”

I look over to make sure Sarah couldn’t hear me. I watch her dive into the water again, “No plans. Just hangin’ around.”

He nods, laying back onto the chair, “Why don’t you come over tonight?”

My stomach drops. He asks it so nonchalantly.

“When Sarah is home?”

“She’s going to her grandparents tonight. They are takin’ her to some baseball game.”

So we get to be alone?

“Oh, okay,” I thought for a moment, “So you want me to come over and do what?”

“I don’t know,” He mumbles, “We can watch a movie. I’ll cook.”

If you would’ve asked me a month ago, I never once would have imagined a moment where Joel Miller would even give me the time of day. Now he’s asking to hangout with me outside of work? Spend time with just me? It seemed out of the realm of possibilities.

But I love that the offer stands.

“Sure, I’d love to,” I pause, “As long as the cooking is good. If not, we are ordering out again.”

“Hey,” He grumbles, “Fuck you, I’m an excellent cook.”

It’s like Sarah got superhuman hearing all of a sudden because she quips up.

“Don’t believe him! He burns eggs every morning!”

“Hey, you eat them anyway!”

I arrive to the Miller’s around 7PM. I decided to walk again, trying not to tip off any of the neighbors leaving my car parked beside Joel’s truck. I decide for a black hoodie, jean shorts, and Converse. I didn’t bring a bag of things because technically, Joel didn’t say this was a sleepover. I am running on the assumption I am leaving after our… movie night?

I knock quickly, glancing back and forth between Joel’s neighbors. Both are pretty familiar with my dad, so I knew if I was spotted, they would rat me out.

Joel swings the door open, this time, fully clothed. A casual outfit for Joel, jeans and a light grey t-shirt.

“Come on in,” He mumbles, “Did you drive?”

I shake my head, “No. Walked. I took shortcuts, too.”

He grabs me quickly, pulling me inside. He glances around outside, making sure no one is outside.

“I already had Mrs. Adler askin’ why I took Sarah over to your house today,” He says, shutting the door, “Hate when people are in my business.”

“What did you tell her?”

He smirks, “That I was fuckin’ my bosses’ daughter.”

My cheeks get hot.

“Nah, just that you were givin’ Sarah time in your pool to practice her swimmin’. She stopped with the questions after that.”

I smack his chest, bringing down my hood. I take off my hoodie eventually, sporting a simple white tank top underneath. I toe off my shoes, propping them up by the door.

“We fucked once, so technically we aren’t fuckin’,” I tease, “Unless…”

He starts his way to the kitchen ignoring me.

“You hungry?”

–

Joel was a bad cook, but I wasn’t going to come in with judgment when it’s a free meal and he made it just for me.

He stares me down from across his small dining room table, waiting for me to say something. We sit in silence for most of the meal. Not uncomfortable silence, just too in our own heads, I guess. I eat the last of my burnt brussel sprouts, trying not to let him read my mind like he usually does.

“You hate it don’t ya?”

I take one more bite, “I’m not a chef by any means either, Joel.”

He laughs, “That’s a good way to put it, little one.”

The nickname makes every hair on my legs stand up. He notices my demeanor change. He stands up, collecting our plates and brings them to the sink. I stand up to begin to help him, but he has other ideas. He stands over me as soon as I get up, his dark brown eyes raking me up and down. He reaches up to my biceps, running his warm hands up and down them.

“You like it when I call you that?”

“What?” I croak out. I knew what he was talking about, but for some reason I wanted him to keep saying it.

“Little one,” He whispers, “My little one.”

I swallow hard, “Y-yeah.”

“Gets you all riled up? Makes you think of the first time my face was between your thighs?”

I close my eyes, letting his hand start to run down my face, to my jawline, to my collarbones. I take in his scent. Amberwood, aftershave, and maybe a bit of cigar? It was intoxicating, his scent.

“J-Joel,” is all I can mutter, “P-Please.”

I open my eyes finally, seeing him smirk, “What baby? What do you want?”

“Do it again,” I mumble, “I want you to do that again.”

His hand travels down to my waist, and with one arm, he hoists me up to the kitchen counter. My jean shorts ride up even more as he positions himself between my legs.

“I need more than that, little one,” He says, “What exactly are you talkin’ about?”

He was going to make me lay it all out for him. I don’t know why I felt shy again, like I couldn’t say what I needed from him.

Like before, he looks so tall and big standing over me. His hands feel so strong and his arms so toned. I wanted to jump his bones watching him at the pool earlier, watching him be at ease with no shirt on. His confident stride and stature was so attractive.

“Speak up,” He demands, “Need you to say it.”

“I need you,” I drag it out, “I need you to eat me out.”

He starts hooking his fingers through my belt loops, lifting me out of my shorts, “What else?”

My mind goes blank for a second.

“Fuck me?”

“No please?” he taunts.

“P-Please Joel,” I mutter, “Don’t make me beg.”

He chuckles lowly, “Oh I fuckin’ will.”

He doesn’t waste time completely tearing my thong off my body. I lean back, my head resting against the cabinets. The thong gets tossed across the room, now useless after being torn in two.

He reaches up to bring my head forward, crashing our lips together. Our tongues battle instantly, both of us wanting to be dominant. He was so forceful, but it was everything I needed to be more sure in myself. I reach up, lacing my hands in his hair.

He pulls away, his breathing fanning my already hot face, “You gonna be good for me, baby? Use those manners?”

“Of course,” I moan, “P-Please do something.”

He takes off his shirt, his muscles highlighted differently in the low lit kitchen. I couldn’t help but stare as he gets on his knees, his face eye level with my pussy.

God, I could never get over this view.

He presses forward, giving my inner thighs kisses and small little love bites.

He hooks both legs over his shoulders and dives in. He doesn’t start slow, oh no, he goes full starving-man-mode. He starts using his tongue to write the alphabet up and down my slit. When he finds my clit, he wraps his lips around and sucks.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” I moan, “Don’t stop!”

He breaks away, only to put his index and middle finger into his mouth. He watches me as he traces my slit with his fingers, smiling as he sinks them into my hole. When he’s satisfied with my reaction, he finds his way back to my clit.

Between his fingers fucking me and his mouth working magic on my bud, I scream out not able to contain the build up I feel in my stomach. He only increases his speed, the wet lapping sounds only causing me to burst.

He fucks me through it, as I moan his name over and over again.

He pulls his fingers out of me, and stands up from his spot. My ass stays half on the counter and half falling off. I am basically only propped up by his leg.

“Now that I got one out of you, little one,” He suggests, “’m going to fuck you until you can’t stand.”

I was so fucked out of my mind, I’m like jelly in his hands. He shimmies his pants off, his boxers tented by how hard he was. I just smile at the affect I had on him.

“You okay to stand?”

I giggle, “I don’t think so, sir.”

As soon as I say it, I don’t have to worry about standing anymore. He reaches for my waist and repositions me on the counter. I stare down between us, his hard cock rubs my sensitive slit.

“You’re so pretty, little one,” I hear him in my daze, but before I can respond, he eases himself into me. I moan out due to the glorious stretch, letting him get fully sheathed inside me. Instead of keeping me on the counter, he hooks his arms under my knees and lifts me up. In my shock, I wrap my arms around him, tucking my face into the crook of his neck.

He sets a brutal pace, not paying much mind to my groans. It wasn’t that it was uncomfortable, it was just so much.

My mind goes back to what he said, which only gets me more riled up.

“God, I’m so full,” I moan into his ear, “You’re so good to me.”

I can feel his smile, “Better than you’ll ever have, baby.”

“You’re all I want,” I say absentmindedly, “I’m all yours.”

He props me back on the counter, pulling out of me briefly. He is throwing me around almost like a ragdoll. He lifts me up and spins me so I’m facing away from him. He moves my arms, so I can actually prop myself up on the counter. He lines back up, pushing himself back inside me. From this position, he somehow hits me in different places. He readjusts my body before settling back into a faster pace. With his right hand on my covered tit, his left hand reaches up to my throat. The sounds of slapping are so overstimulating in the best way possible. I couldn’t get enough.

“All,” Thrust, “Fucking,” Thrust, “Mine.”

I feel the warmth in my stomach again. It had to be the mixture of him calling me his and the fact that his dick was hitting me in just the right spot. As soon as I hit my tipping point, it’s like he could tell because he slows down, his hand traveling down to my clit again. I fall over the edge, my eyes rolling back into my head as I moan out his name. My entire body is tense until it’s not. I fall forward, but before my head catches the edge of the counter, he holds me up against him.

“I’m ‘bout to cum,” he groans, still fucking into me, “Want me inside?”

“Cum inside me, Joel,” I beg, hardly able to project my voice.

I’m at his mercy, as he spills inside of me all the while telling me what I good girl I am. I finally find my footing, as he slips his cock out of me, letting his cum drip down my legs. He releases my body, walking away from me for a moment. I try to get ahold of my bearings, but all I can think is how I never want to stop doing this. I want more.

I need more.

“Here, turn to me baby,” He mumbles. I turn around noting the damp rag he has. He gets on one knee, using the rag to clean up his cum off my legs. I’m still very sensitive, so when he gets close to my mound, I jolt. It makes him giggle.

Post-orgasm clarity started to hit me. I watch him stand up and lay the rag in the kitchen sink next to our plates. He was so fucking beautiful, his body glistening with sweat. He had to be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

“You okay?”

I wet my lips, “I think I need you to fuck me every day.”

His beautiful smile reappears, “Is that so?”

I nod quickly, “Yes, sir.”

He creeps closer to me, his hand lacing around my waist again.

“I’m sure that could be arranged,” He leans down and kisses my shoulder blade, “Now, which movie should we watch?”

#joel miller the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #dbf joel miller #i can see you #the last of us #joel miller #joel miller tlou #joel last of us smut #joel tlou #tlou series #the last of us hbo #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #joel miller fic

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silentglassbreak · 10 months ago

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Anonymous

Noah Sebastian x OFC

Alright folks, I think I’m on the other side of this cold. Which unfortunately means I am back at work. Things are going to start getting more serious here, so bear with me.

Moving forward, each chapter will have its own warnings above the normal, so just keep an eye out. As always, thank you for reading. ☺️

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, overall abuse, mild violence (ie. bar fights), smut, swearing, and altogether just a lot of fuckery. **STRONG TRIGGER WARNING FOR SA** Please proceed w/ caution.

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Taglist: @flowery-mess

Part 8 - Limits

Three months is not a long time. Not long enough for me to drink in the relationship that now was encompassing the vast majority of my life. I still had my job, my meetings, my daily walks with Angel…but everything else was Noah.

Nights watching movies with him. Days going to his house and just existing while he sat in his studio making music. Standing backstage at random pop up shows they did. Morning showers. Evening cuddles. Very late night sex. Sex all the time? Noah had an incredible sex drive and I was along for the ride.

But today, this truly horrific day, was his last day before he left again on tour. It was panic day. And I couldn’t get out of work. He leaves in the morning for Houston, and is absolutely losing his mind with anxiety.

My phone was going to vibrate off of my desk, so I slipped it into the top drawer and turned my attention back to the clients in front of me.

“I’m so sorry about that, where were we?”

The young couple sat in the chairs in front of my desk, their expression cool and positive. They radiated happiness, love. Jared and Sarah Miller, newlyweds, and visibly elated to be buying their first home. Sarah’s belly sat heavy in her lap, thirty-six weeks into her pregnancy with their first baby.

Their house was closing next week, so we needed to discuss what all needed to be done prior and run their one last statement check.

“You can take that, if you need Mileena. We don’t mind waiting.” Sarah smiled at me warmly, and I felt a tug in my chest when I heard my phone vibrate again.

“Oh, it’s fi-“ Before I could finish, it stopped vibrating, only to begin again half a second later. “Uhm…”

I opened my drawer, looking down to see Noah’s face flashing once again.

“I’m so sorry, it’s my boyfriend. It may be an emergency if he’s calling this much.”

Jared stood up. “No worries! We can run to the car and get Sarah’s snacks, if you don’t mind we eat in here?”

I shook my head. “Not at all! I’ll only be a second.”

“Take your time.” Sarah chirped before they walked out of the office, the door latching behind them.

I slid the newest call open. “Why aren’t you answering?! Are you dying?!”

I had to pull the phone from my ear due to the sheer volume of his voice. “Noah, I’m at work. Not dying.”

“Oh.” His voice calmed down instantly. “Good, because I almost got worried.”

I snorted. “Almost? You’ve called me like, a hundred times!”

He chuckled. “It’s panic day?” He said defensively.

“Panic day or not, babe. I’m with clients.”

“Fuck! I’m sorry. I should’ve known.”

I glanced at my computer screen to a new Teams message.

Sam: Saw your clients left. Wanna get lunch?

I cringed.

Me: They’re coming back. And no, eating in.

I saw the indication he was typing pop up, but disappear a moment later with no new message.

“Listen, babe,” I brought my attention back to Noah. “How about I go to your place after work? I can grab food on the way?”

“I really should focus.”

I laughed. “Cause you’re doing such a great job.”

“You’re right.”

“I’ll see you about six. Love you.”

“Love you too, babe.”

And we ended the call right as Jared and Sarah walked back in.

I smiled widely and took a breath. “Crisis averted. Now, let’s get you guys this house.”

I sat cross-legged on Noah’s bed, pulling potstickers from the paper box in my hand. Noah was chewing on his food while his fingers clacked at his keyboard, sending last minute emails to his tour manager.

Rick and Morty played on the television, and I idly watched it while letting him have his space. ‘Just having you here makes me feel more calm’ is what he told me, so I’m just existing, letting him have his panic in peace.

Noah had gone to my house this afternoon and picked up Angel after we talked, bringing him back to his place so I didn’t have to stop home after work. I was almost convinced he loved that dog more than me. I’m okay with that.

Noah turned, chow mein noodle hanging out of his lips. I chuckled at the sight, and he turned his lips up in a goofy smile. He slurped the noodle in his mouth and licked his lips. As silly as he is, he’s still absolutely breathtaking.

His muscle shirt showed his arms that were slowly becoming more defined every time I really looked at them. Noah had been filling free time he had going to Muay Thai and Boxing classes, trying to keep off any unnecessary pounds he may put on from his sugar intake. The results were becoming…difficult to not appreciate.

“You done?”

He nodded, leaning back in his chair. “I think so. Nothing left to do but sleep.”

I nodded, satisfied. “Good.” I glanced at my watch, noticing it was already seven-thirty. The first forty-five minutes of me being here was spent trying to calm the anxiety and help him find his favorite jacket that somehow ended up in Jolly’s laundry hamper.

“We’ve got to head out in about an hour.”

His lips turned down in a frown. “Why?”

“I’ve got work in the morning, and you’re leaving at 4 in the morning. You need sleep.”

“Nuh-uh.”

I raised my eyebrow at him. “Noah, unless you have a show, you can barely stay conscious past 10PM. You still have to shower.”

He shrugged. “Don’t care.”

“Mkay, well I care. Because I also have to shower and decompress before bed.” I stood off the bed and piled the empty food containers into the bag they came in, walking it over to the garbage can.

“Take this out tonight, or it’ll be awful when you get back.”

He just stared at me, a look I couldn’t quite place on his face. It made me shift my weight under me, unsure of how to react.

“What? Do I have soy sauce on me?” I wiped at my face, but he just shook his head.

“No.” He then sighed heavily. “We’re going to be gone longer this time.”

My heart pulled. He was right. He’d be gone two and a half months this time, which shouldn’t be long, right? Three months went by so fast…

“I know. But, I’ll be at the show here in October. And you’ll be home a week after that, just in time for your birthday.”

He chewed his bottom lip. I walked over to him, stopping directly in front of his chair.

“Then we’ll spend the holidays together.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, his head leaning into my chest, his arms swallowing my waist. “Christmas, New Year, Thanksgiving.”

He would be going back on tour at the end of January, so we had to take what we could get.

“Can’t you just come with me?”

I chuckled. “I wish, baby.”

I pulled my arms back, gripping either side of his neck to bring his face up to mine, placing a soft kiss on his lips. His arms tightened around me and a soft moan hummed out of him.

“Now,” I pulled my face back and pushed him back into his chair. “sit there quietly, and let me give you your parting gift.”

I sunk down to my knees and watched while he lifted his brows at me, narrowing his eyes.

“Since when do I do what you tell me?” His tone was apprehensive.

I gazed up at him through my lashes, doing my best to look innocent while my hands unzipped his jeans.

“Since I have something you want.” I very dramatically licked my lips, leaving excess saliva on my bottom lip for effect.

He pursed his lips, and gave a curt nod of his head.

“Fair enough.”

I was wrong. I was so wrong. Two-and a half months was crawling. I would assume it felt that way since it had only been two weeks, but it felt like a year.

I had just hung up the phone, Noah having to head into sound check. My lunch break was close to over, so I was already sitting behind my desk, scrolling through emails while I waited for my next client to make their appointment.

My desk phone chimed, and I grabbed the receiver.

“Kline Home Lending, this is Mileena?”

“Are you not logged in to Teams?” Sam’s voice was sharp on the other end.

“I’m on lunch. I haven’t taken Do Not Disturb off yet.”

“Lex wants to see us. Didn’t say why. We need to go now.”

I straightened my back and checked the time. I only had twenty minutes until my next appointment. That didn’t matter, though. When Lex called, you went. He was the President of Kline, and he didn’t make appearances often.

I shot my client a quick text to wait for me in the lobby if I wasn’t back as I walked down the hallway behind Sam toward Lex’s office.

“What do you think he wants?”

Same didn’t turn to respond. “Don’t know. He just asked to see us two.”

What could he possibly need? I kept my nose down, sold my loans, and kept it pushing. I didn’t make waves. Sam, on the other hand…

“Ah! Thank you both for coming on short notice. I won’t keep you too long.”

Sam and I each took a seat in front of Lex’s desk. Our boss, a tall, older man with white hair and his shirt unbuttoned the top two buttons, stood up and rounded the desk, leaning against it.

“I’m certain you don’t know why I’ve brought you here.” We both just nodded. “Right, well I’ll get straight to it.”

He went back to his chair, sitting down and waking his computer. “I assume you’re both familiar with Shamrock Lending?”

“Aren’t they the company that just declared bankruptcy?” I furrowed my brow, my question making him nod.

“Nearly. They’ve backed out of that.” Sam and I looked at each other inquisitively. “We’re absorbing them, including their employees and client base.”

“Why?” Sam sounded unamused.

“Shamrock maintained a prestigious client-base and had great word of mouth. The pandemic killed the business, and with them having been such a small company to begin with, it didn’t cost us much. And now we can retain their clientele, including their celebrity accounts.” He had his chin resting in his hands. “They sold Kelly Clarkson a house last year.”

Sam snorted. “So, what does that have to do with us?”

I had to forcibly not roll my eyes at his disrespectful attitude.

Lex looked intrigued, staring directly at Sam.

“I’m glad you asked, Samuel.” The sound of his full name made Sam visibly straighten. “We need to do something to boost morale for their employees. Shamrock was a family-owned company so most of their staff are…less than thrilled at coming over to Kline.”

“I could understand that.” I empathized.

“Exactly. So we are going to arrange for a company event, something to lighten the spirits. Eating, drinking, and overall merriment.” He pointed at us. “Oh, and live music! That always gets people excited.”

He stood again. “I need you both to organize it. You’re my top performers, so I trust you both to be able to arrange something within the next week or so.”

My eyes widened. We had to what?!

“With all due respect sir, but when you say organize?”

“Find a venue, get catering, hire a band, all that jazz.”

“My family has an estate on a vineyard in Escondido. Perfect for this.” Sam was now smiling confidently. Kiss ass.

Lex snapped. “Wonderful! We need this ready happen by the end of September. The merge is effective as of October 1st.”

I’m so fucked.

The following seven days had been a blur. A long, exhausting, frustrating blur. I had to reschedule so many appointments so Sam and I could work on the event.

Venue was no issue, but we needed catering, entertainment, staff, decorations, which is what Sam and I were currently arguing over.

The amount of arguing we had done over the last week had drained everything out of me. Spending this much time with him was absolutely ungodly. He was so difficult to tolerate, his bravado and over enthusiastic flirting got so far under my skin I could feel it in my bones.

“We need a theme!”

“It’s not junior prom, Sam! We don’t need casino night!”

He scoffed, pacing over the floor in my office while I sat, my fingertips rubbing my temples.

“So it’s just a ‘Hey we get you hate us, but get drunk and have salmon’ party?!’

We were interrupted by the door opening, Chrissy, the janitor, coming to clean my office.

“Oh! I’m sorry. I thought you guys were gone.” She backed out and closed the door.

“Jesus Christ, what time is it?” I checked my watch. “Ugh, it’s already seven. I’ve got to go.”

“No, no, we need to finish this. The event is in three days.” He pulled his phone out. “I’m ordering some pizza.”

I stood up in protest. “As fun as that sounds, I’ve got to go walk my dog. Or he’ll piss in the house.”

He locked his phone and gave me a disgusting grin. “No worries, we can just finish at your place.”

My face must have mimicked my disdain because he only smiled wider. I groaned and sat back down.

“Fine. Let’s just finish it.”

I finally swung my front door open at 9PM, exhaustion and agitation fueling me the entire ride home. Angel met me at the door, eyes big, obviously concerned for my whereabouts. He's never left alone quite this long, more so these last few months with Noah picking him up nearly every day.

"Hey baby." He barked in response while I kicked my heels off. "I'm so sorry I was gone so long."

He ran to the back door in response. I dropped my bag right there on the floor, slipping my slides on and striding to let Angel out.

I stepped outside with him, watching as he disappeared near the trees in the corner of the yard, undoubtedly relieving himself. I stayed on the wooden porch, flopping down into the wooden chair at the table. I slipped a single cigarette out of the pack next to the ashtray and lit the end with a match. I didn't indulge in my nicotine habit often, only in times of severe stress. I bought a pack the day I learned of the event and had smoked one each night after work.

I hadn't told Noah that.

This reminded me that I hadn't heard from him all day. I slipped my phone out of my pocket, taking a long drag from my smoke.

I pressed call as soon as I found his name in my recent list, noticing our last phone call was yesterday afternoon. We hadn't talked hardly at all since Sunday, when the shows became more frequent and my work started taking up all my damn time. Our nightly calls had been skipped a few times now, and we mostly communicated over text. Until now, I hadn't noticed how badly I missed him until I saw his contact photo show up when the phone rang; a picture of him sleeping, Angel stretched out over his stomach, snoozing comfortably on my bed.

I put the phone on speaker and set it on the table, leaning back in my chair.

"Hello?" His voice that came through was loud. There was a ton of background noise and voices. There was also some kind of music. Music I didn't recognize - heavy bass drums, some kind of high-pitched synth, with rhythmic reverb. Club music?

"Hey babe. What're you doing?" I could hear shuffling on the other end.

"What?" He couldn't hear me. "Hang on, babe. One sec." The phone then went completely silent, evidently muted.

After a few moments, I could hear sound again, but it was much quieter. "Hey babe, I'm sorry. I couldn't hear shit in there."

"What are you doing?" My voice was sharp, which I wasn't sure if it was due to me being wildly suspicious all of a sudden, or the frustration bleeding over from work.

"Oh, uh, after the show the guys wanted to stop off at this place on our way back to the hotel." His voice sounded intentionally nonchalant.

"What kind of place?"

He was quiet. Too fucking quiet.

"Babe, don't freak out." He sighed heavily. "It's a bar, and look-"

"You're at a fucking bar?!" I stood up, dropping my cigarette into the ashtray.

"Babe, please don't yell at me." I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose, forcibly evening out my voice.

"Noah, why the hell are you at a bar?" I said through gritted teeth.

"It's one of the guys' in ERRA's birthday tonight. We're just here to celebrate. I'm going to be fine." He was annoyed, I could hear it. I was 'sponsor'-ing him, but I didn't fucking care.

"Please don't drink, Noah." He groaned.

"I won't, Leena." His voice was slightly venomous. This bothered me. How could he not understand why I was upset by this? It was a valid fucking reason to be upset. He was right on top of earning his 6-month chip.

"Good. Because I swear to God, I will snatch those chips away from you so fucking fast."

He didn't even breathe. "Nick is here. He'll keep me straight."

"He's not drinking?"

"No."

"Okay." I sat back down.

"I'll call you when I get back to the hotel and after I shower."

"Okay." I picked my cigarette back up. "I love you."

"Love you too." Click. My heart tugged. It felt wrong.

When he finally called me, I was already half asleep. I had showered, finished getting ready for bed, and began fading while watching Supernatural. It was typically unheard of for me to pass out so early, but I was positively exhausted.

My phone began singing next to my face, and I moaned in defeat. I just wanted to be unconscious.

"Hey." My voice was thick with sleep.

"Hey, were you sleeping?" His voice sounded pretty sleepy too. It was past his bedtime.

"I was, but I'm fine." I sat up in bed. I ran a hand over Angel, who was now sound asleep in Noah's spot on my bed.

"Mmm. How was your day?"

I leaned back on my pillows, yawning. "It was long. Had to stay late again."

"With Sam?"

This made me snap to attention. The bite in his tone startled me. "Yeah, unfortunately."

"Hmm." He was making a lot of humming noises tonight. "Been spending a lot of time with him, yeah?"

You're fucking kidding. Noah was not getting jealous...of Shithead Sam?!

"Not voluntarily. We just had to get this event worked out."

"And did you?" He was still so serious. Nothing like what I was used to with Noah.

"Yes." My words were slow, still in disbelief at his attitude. "The event is on Saturday over in the valley. I'll be driving down there Saturday morning to make sure it gets set up."

"Well, I'm sure he'll meet you there."

I had about enough.

"Noah, what's your problem?" I was serious now, over whatever bullshit game it was he was playing.

"I don't have one." He paused. "Do you?"

Is he instigating an argument? "I didn't think so, but you're acting weird." I sighed. "I don't like it."

I heard him breathe, a sigh, maybe? "I'm sorry."

I didn't respond.

"I don't know, I just don't like that guy."

I sat up, pausing the television. "I know you don't. Neither do I. But why be rude to me over it?"

"Well, you spending so much time with him bothers me."

"...and?" I furrowed my brow, bewildered. "I can't help that we got put on this project together."

He snickered. "I mean..." He trailed off.

"What?" I dared him.

"You could have said no."

My jaw dropped. Was he for fucking real? "How do you figure? The President of the company I work for tells me to organize an event, and I just...what? Decline?"

"Pretty much."

I shook my head, absolutely flabbergasted. "Are you fucking joking?" My voice was raised.

"I asked you not to yell at me."

I swung my legs over the bed and began pacing. "Well, that's hard to do when you're acting like this."

"Like what?" His voice was so even, so calm. It was getting under my skin.

"Like a jealous boyfriend!"

He was silent for a minute. "Am I not?"

"Oh my fucking God, Noah! You have nothing to be jealous about!" I was now laughing, but not because it was funny, but because it was so ridiculous. "The guy is fucking putrid!"

"So I've heard." That evenness in his tone was going to kill me, or get him killed if I get my hands on him. I knew that bullshit. It was manipulative, which up until this point, I didn't think Noah was. He had never acted like this before.

"Noah, you don't fucking get it. He's the opposite of attractive. He reminds me of my ex." I had never admitted that before, to him or myself. I didn't think about him often.

"Right, yeah. The ex-boyfriend you never want to talk about. Got it." There was a slight inflection in his voice. Good. At least I know he isn't a robot.

He was just a fucking asshole.

My voice was calm now, still as standing fucking water. "That's correct."

"Leaves me with lots of questions, Mileena."

Who the fuck was this douchebag on the phone with me? What piece of garbage was I talking to? It wasn't Noah. Not my Noah.

"I'm hanging up." My hand was shaking now.

"Sure, yeah, ignore the problem." He was getting worked up. I couldn't tell if that was better or worse.

"No, I'm just not letting this go any further." I took a breath to keep voice even. "You should get some rest."

"No, c'mon, let's talk about it! You always want to know about me and my fucking skeletons in the closet! Where's yours? What's the big fucking secret? Why do I have to pull fucking teeth to get you to fucking talk about your ex? Or your drinking? Or anything fucking personal?!" He was full-blown screaming now, and I was frozen solid.

He wasn't wrong. I always avoided talking about Jeremy, at all God damn costs. He enabled my drinking, he set back my sobriety, and that was the mild stuff.

"Noah...please stop." My voice was cracking now.

"Whatever. So much for a trusting fucking relationship."

That was it. That broke the dam. That sent me spiraling.

"Are you fucking KIDDING me?! You call me, start a fucking fight, and then have the audacity to say I can't be trusted you fucking bastard?! Why? Because I don't want to talk about the asshole that drove me to drink because he was abusing me so badly?! Who slapped me around so much that only the alcohol made it bearable?! Back when I tried to kill myself, couldn't because I was so God damn drunk, and ended up going back to him because he convinced me no one else would ever love me?!"

I couldn't stop. He flipped the switch and you can't just undo that.

"Fuck you, Noah! Fuck you and your bullshit jealousy and trust issues!" Tears were streaming down my face, blurring my vision. Somewhere, I felt Angel's nose pressing into the side of my leg. "Now go the fuck to sleep before I tell you to go to hell instead!"

I ended the call, before he could respond. My shaky hands frantically turned my phone off before I could receive a text or a call back.

I had put my phone on vibrate all day Friday, spending the majority of the day in my bed sulking. I didn't want to talk to anyone; Laura, my Dad, most importantly, Noah. Anytime I thought about it, I started crying. I laid in bed, only getting up to let Angel out and get snacks from the kitchen. I laid in bed, watching comedy movies to try and relieve my mind.

It wasn't until I woke up Saturday morning that I finally read all of the missed texts.

The night of the fight:

Noah: Leena I'm such a fcking asshole. I'm sorry. Pleese call me back.

Noah: Babe I don't even know what got into m please.

Noah: Yourr phone is going straigt to voicemail. I guess you turned it off. I'm going to sleep now. I love you. Call me please?

Friday morning:

Noah: Is your phone back on?

Noah: Guess not.

Noah: Leena, please call me. I feel sick thinking about how dumb I was being. I promise I will never do that again. I swear. Please just respond to me.

Nick: Leena, Noah won't stop asking me to text you. Please call him.

Noah: I'm about to cancel the show tonight and fly home. Please Leena.

Noah: Nick said I can't cancel the show. Too short notice. Please call me. I need to hear your voice.

Friday evening:

Noah: Look, I've tried really hard to be patient but I'm starting to freak out. Babe, please. I was stupid. I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever do anything like that again. I have no idea what got into me.

Noah: I'm going to quit texting now. I'm sorry. I can't tell you how sorry. Call me when you're ready. I love you so much, more than you'll ever know Leena. Always.

I sighed hard. I wasn't angry anymore, mostly just hurt. I really wanted Noah to be different, but after the way he was talking, it was hard to believe. Nothing made sense. In five months, he had not spoken like that to me at all. He was always so laid back, even about things that bothered him.

Something was wrong. Something was different.

Unfortunately, I didn't have time to ponder it, as I had to get ready to drive to Escondido and get this hellscape of a day over with.

I decided to send him a response, but not give too much.

Me: I love you too. We'll talk tonight. Have a good show.

All things considered, the vineyard was absolutely stunning. The event was exactly how we planned, music elegant but still upbeat. The food was high-class, Kline sparing no expense. People were swaying and mingling, their drinks from the open bar settling nicely into their systems.

I was stood on a hill just out of sight of the happenings down by the massive estate home, overlooking the winery. Vines upon vines of grapes grew, causing such an incredible landscape while the sun began to set over the hills. It soothed the ache in my soul.

I heard footsteps approaching behind me, and gauging the weight of them, I rolled my eyes, knowing my moment was spoiled.

"Too good for the party?" I sighed. Sam's voice was the same as always, condescending and arrogant.

I turned, my long, olive green dress twisting at the skirt. "Nope, just taking a breather."

"Is it hard? Being around people drinking?" For once, he didn't sound like he was being judgmental, and it caught me off guard.

I shook my head lightly. "No. Not really anymore."

He nodded, standing next to me with his hands in his pockets.

"Hell of a view."

I shrugged. "It is."

He nudged my shoulder, gesturing over to a stable to his left. "Want to go see the horses?"

I smirked. "I'm okay, thank you."

He narrowed his eyes at me playfully. "C'mon, girl. Everyone loves horses!"

I chuckled. I contemplated this for a moment. I do love horses, having ridden many when I was younger.

Sam began stalking toward the barn, waving me along. "Just for a minute. You'll love them!"

I rolled my eyes, but still, I stomped after him, my heels nearly sinking into the grass beneath me.

He pulled the door open, the familiar smell of hay and feed hitting me in the nostrils. It was a comforting smell, reminding me of the horses my Dad helped tend when I was a little girl.

He walked into one of the stalls. "This one," he pulled on a rein, a stunning black horse peering out of the stall. I was drawn, walking up to her and smiling. "is mine. Her name is Onyx."

Her large nose pressed into my hand. I ran a hand up her face, reveling in the feel of her silky fur.

"She's amazing." I was in awe.

"Yeah, she's a good girl. Rides like a champ." I nodded.

"I'll bet she does." I backed away from her, peering over at Sam.

"You want to see another?" I nodded, a soft smile on my face.

He waved me down the stable, opening a stall at the end. "Come on."

I didn't see a horse, but I stepped in front of the door, confused. Sam was gone, and the stall was empty. I took a step forward just beyond the door, puzzled.

"Sam?"

It was at that exact second, a hand clapped over my mouth from behind, and a large, thick arm came to snake around me around the waist, holding my arms down to my sides and pulling me in close.

Sam had me pinned, his body pressed against my back, as I began writhing and struggling beneath him. Oh no. No, no, no, no.

I struggled as hard as I could, working my arms around in an attempt to get free. I felt his breath on the side of my face, his voice low and hushed.

"Shh, hang on there, girl. Wouldn't want anyone to know we're in here." I screamed against his hand, forcing him to clamp down harder, giving the feeling that my jaw may break.

Please, fucking, please, no.

"You've been playing this 'hard to get' bullshit for so long. It was about time we finally made it happen, huh?"

His hand over my mouth slid down to my neck, squeezing so tight that my vision began turning fuzzy.

I choked hard, trying like hell to get words out. "S-Sam, please, d-don't."

He had turned us around, pushing me against the wall of the stable. His hand that wasn't holding my throat was roaming up my skirt, his giant palm under my dress and tugging at my underwear. I thrashed again, trying like hell to get an inch so I could slip out of his grasp. It was futile. He had me, I was trapped.

I felt his fingers slipping into the hem of my panties, sneaking underneath. His hands violated me, making hot tears pour out of my eyes. I squeezed them shut, trying to just focus on having enough air to stay conscious. If I pass out, it's over.

I ignored his hands on me, and focused. His feet. His feet were the only shot I had.

I shifted my weight onto my other leg, realizing his was immediately behind mine, using both legs to keep mine spread.

I lifted my foot, and with as much force as I could muster, I jammed my heel into top of his foot, causing him to jump back, his hands releasing me at once. Without hesitation, once my arms were free, I reached my elbow back, connecting it with his face. I felt something crunch beneath my arm, but I didn't care.

As soon as he was no longer on top of me, I ran. I booked straight out of the barn, my vision slowly returning.

I was running back toward the party, up the hill. That's when I stopped. My dress was ripped on the strap, my hair was tangled up, and my makeup had to be running down my face. I was a mess. I looked insane.

I had to get the hell out.

I began sprinting to the parking lot, passing several people on my way but not stopping. I ran to my car that, thankfully, I had left unlocked, keys in the visor. I turned the engine over and tore out of the parking lot.

I didn't care that I blew past multiple stop signs. I pulled onto the interstate and drove. I drove until I couldn't see the winery behind me. Until I could barely see at all because my eyes were watering so badly. My breathing was so sporadic. My hands were screaming with how tight I had been gripping the steering wheel.

I finally snapped out of my state, realizing I needed to stop.

I pulled off on the next exit, finding a rest stop just off the highway and pulled into the parking lot. I sat there, staring out of the windshield, tears streaming, trying to calm my breathing.

It took me a moment to realize I had stopped, and for my brain to begin functioning again.

I picked up my phone, opening it and ignoring texts and missed calls and going straight to my contacts.

I pressed 'Call' and waited for the line to pick up.

"Hey babes, what's up?" Laura's voice rang through the line.

"I need help."

#noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens #fanfic

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unholyverse · 8 months ago

Text

waterparks // rock sound 25 icon issue

(full text under cut)

ROCK SOUND 25 ICON

WATERPARKS

WATERPARKS HAVE NEVER BEEN A BAND THAT ARE HAPPY TO SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, RELEASING FIVE STUDIO ALBUMS IN THE LAST SEVEN YEARS WHILE CONTINUING TO GROW THEIR INCREASINGLY AMBITIOUS LIVE SHOWS. AS THEY ACCEPT THEIR ROCK SOUND 25 ICON AWARD, FRONTMAN AWSTEN KNIGHT TALKS US THROUGH THE BEGINNINGS OF THE BAND IN HOUSTON, TEXAS AND WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS FOR THE TRIO.

WORDS: JAMES WILSON-TAYLOR PHOTOS: JAWN ROCHA

"NO MATTER WHAT, ALL THOSE ALL THOSE BANDS LIKE GOOD CHARLOTTE, GREEN DAY AND BLINK, THEY'RE STILL GOING TO BE IN THE BONES AND FOUNDATION OF WHAT WE'RE DOING."

Let's start at the beginning - what are your earliest musical memories?

Alright, so you can start the article with this - as I crawled out of my mother, my dad made sure the first song I ever heard was 'Wouldn't It Be Nice? by The Beach Boys. The other day somebody asked me what would be the last song I wanted to hear if I knew I was gonna die. I mean, I have death songs, don't get me wrong. I've got songs that I would choose to die to, some Death Cab and Motion City Soundtrack. But I think because I love bookends and I love like tying things together. I would have to listen to 'Wouldn't It Be Nice?'.

He took you to a lot of The Beach Boys shows when you were growing up too right?

I do remember those. It would always be on the Fourth of July. How were they always in Houston? He'd also be listening to stuff like Van Halen. My mom really liked Prince. My dad didn't like my mom's music; she liked Cat Stevens and Bob Dylan. But I remember watching TV getting dressed in the mornings, VH1 and MTV, and being so afraid of Mudvayne. They would film it at that frame rate that's the same as 28 Days Later and they had the devil makeup on. So I remember music scaring the shit out of me.

Do you remember the bands and music that you first connected with?

I heard 'Fat Lip' by Sum 41 on the radio in fourth grade. We were in my dad's Honda Civic and I was like 'What is this?' Then I saw it on TV later. Then that got me into Green Day, Good Charlotte, Blink-182. It helped that MTV actually played those things so I could find them. So that was the first stuff that I really gravitated towards in fourth, fifth, sixth grade. Then in sixth and seventh grade, that's when I started getting more into what nerds would be mad at me calling emo like My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, From First To Last. A few years ago at my parents' house, I found these mix CDs and they had Linkin Park, Chronic Future, that song 'United States Of Whatever', Bowling For Soup. That's when I was buying stuff. Basically once I heard 'Fat Lip', I was just like, 'well, now I'm going to hear all of the songs like this'.

You were lucky to grow up at that time where this kind of music was more easy to discover because it was everywhere in pop culture. That is partly why those bands are still so influential.

I feel like no matter what, all those bands like Good Charlotte, Green Day and Blink, they're still going to be in the bones and foundation of what we're doing. I can still explore as much as I want with production and go do weird shit and try and push things forward as much as possible, because that should be your job as a musician, at least partially. But at the end of the day, the house was still built on that.

As you started playing in bands and playing shows yourself, what did you make of the local scene in Houston?

I started playing shows when I was 13. I've done my 10,000 hours. I remember when I was in seventh and eighth grade; there were some punk bands in the Houston scene that I remember seeing all the fucking time. I still have all these flyers still. But the vast majority, I'd say 85% of the bands, were mainly hardcore. That's mainly what the Houston scene was. So I remember my friends and I would just spend every day at local venues. When you're young, you absorb things better and you learn more. I think that's why when kids start piano when they're three, they can be prodigies, you know what I mean? But I feel like I got that with music that ultimately wouldn't help me very much in the future. I could still list 100 bands from Houston that those people have probably forgotten that they were in by this point. But we would just hang out and if a local band somehow didn't pull through, they would let us go take their spot. I was probably in eight different bands over the course of like three or four years. Whoever I was with, we would just go play the shows. We'd make some songs up, we played covers sometimes. We covered The Used and Motion City Soundtrack, Scary Kids Scaring Kids.

Your first couple of Waterparks' EPs were self- made and self-released, keeping in that DIY spirit. Yet it still felt like you were ambitious and aiming high even back then.

Can I tell you the difference between then and now? See, I don't advertise this information but I don't even listen to that much music now. I'm trying to be better about that and I've got certain friends that will give me stuff to immerse myself. But I've gotten maybe a little bit frustrated. There's so many times where I keep finding cool people on Tik Tok when I finally do go looking for new music, and I'll talk to them for a second and maybe see if they wanna open up for us on tour but they can't because so many fucking people are just quiet signed to major labels. It irritates the shit out of me and the reason they're hiding it is because everybody is so obsessed with authenticity, which they have the right to be, you want your shit to be organic, homegrown, free range, cruelty free, all that shit. But everything that I look at is just a fucking marketing trick or ploy. What is the equivalent of me just being in my fucking room at my parents' house?

"I FEEL MORE LOOSE AND I FEEL LIKE EVERY TOUR I GET BETTER AS A SINGER."

In terms of your attitude back then, you were just treating those self-releases as if you were already on a major label. It didn't feel less legit to you.

Day and night, you're working on those things. It was very real. We're about to get to the point of this conversation where we start trying to quantify success and what it means and it's intangible, we can't do it. But what I do know is you can easily get tricked and be like, 'Oh, my Tik Toks are getting millions of hits' and then draw 20 people to your show. I've seen it happen. So I just care how many people ride with you and will leave their home to come see you play. I don't care how many fucking playlists you bought, I don't care how many ads you run on your Spotify, I don't care if YouTube picked you up on their fucking algorithm - good for you because they've never done that for us - but I want to know how many people fuck with you.

With your own live show, when did you feel like it clicked for Geoff, Otto and yourself? When did you first feel like you understood what a Waterparks show should be?

Maybe 'Fandom'. I didn't start taking vocal lessons till 2021. I feel like that's the first time where I look back and it's not just us playing a song and then stopping and then playing the song and then stopping. It's where we actually built a show. That's when we had 'Double Dare 2019' and 'Entertainment 2019' where we were playing for eight minutes straight and made me feel like fucking Green Day. Like some like 'Jesus of Suburbia', 'Bullet In A Bible' type shit. That's not me saying I thought we sucked during 'Entertainment'. That's not what it is at all. We did cool shit. We did Reading & Leeds main stage on 'Entertainment'. But I just feel like things clicked more on 'Fandom'. I feel so much more comfortable onstage every single tour. I feel more loose and I feel like every tour I get better as a singer. I better not get fucking worse. As long as you're continuing to practice and improve. I need to go fucking play tennis and boxing and all this other shit to be at my best when we're touring, you know what I mean? As long as I'm not fully just lounging and then going straight to the stage, I should, in theory, be a better performer.

You mentioned Reading & Leeds, which was one of many milestone moments you've had in the UK. How do you reflect on your relationship with the fans over here?

I give the UK a lot of shit for their food and everything but truthfully, those are my favourite shows in the world. They've always given us the most love and I just feel like the UK appreciates bands more. You know what I mean? I wonder if it's because the BBC still plays guitars? Or maybe they just care about rock culture more.

So to jump back a little, when you were making 'Double Dare', what aims did you have? What was on your to-do list around that time?

I could tell you the list. A big bucket list. I don't erase things when I complete them, I just add on. (Looking through his computer) Let's see…I can tell you one of the things it says here is 'A Rock Sound cover'. I tried to fill it out as much as I could with the knowledge that I had because sometimes you don't know what goals you can ask for. You know what I mean? I put 'Have a Top 10 album' and then you get to mark that off. 'Headline Reading and Leeds', not marked off. 'Have a music video on TV. Get shirts in Hot Topic. Play a show with Kesha. Get an apartment. Get a music video with 100K views. Record an album.' I got to mark that one off. There's a ton. I think when you're making that, you also have to look big. You have to project and manifest big shit. When I was in my parents' house thinking about 'Crave' with $0 to my name, I was thinking about playing that in arenas. We hadn't played a show to more than 500 people at that point. So yeah, I think it's always just pretending you're Coldplay. That kind of doesn't change. I mean, I guess until you become Coldplay, and then you're like 'how do we be as big as God?'

“AT A CERTAIN POINT, THERE ARE THINGS THAT YOU DEAL WITH THAT THERAPISTS DON'T UNDERSTAND. SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO ACCEPT THOSE THINGS."

You've been very fortunate to have some mentors help guide you towards those goals with Joel and Benji Madden and Mikey Way all there to give advice from early on.

So as we said earlier, we didn't have anyone in our corner when we were doing 'Airplane Conversations', 'Black Light' and writing 'Cluster'. Nobody was around; it was just us at home. Joel and Benji both reached out quickly after the other. They were the first people to ever give us the good shit. 'Hey, we see what you're doing. It's cool'. They were the first established people to ever reach out and give us props. I was babysitting and our fucking first label we had just signed with was like, 'Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?' I'm like, 'Oh, just probably babysitting, teaching guitar lessons'. And they're like, 'Well, do you want to come to Los Angeles and have lunch with Benji and Joel?' Then I'm hitting up Geoff and Otto and we come out and we talked about our goals. Fast-forward, they're like 'You want to do some co-writes?' I wanted to be a team player about it because back then especially, I was like 'nobody touches our shit, we don't get help from anybody, we are DIY'. I was so fucking close-minded punk about it. But when they heard all the demos, they went 'Oh, wait, you already have all these. Do you want to use these?' So that's 'Cluster'. That's when Mikey came through and was listening to us. He was always just so nice. He's like 'I'd love to play on it'. So I'm sitting there showing him the bass parts, and he's getting it fucking immediately. It was so weird. I felt like I could be arrested any second and just immediately sound like a crazy person. 'No, no, no, I was talking to My Chemical Romance and Good Charlotte's my friend'. At a certain point, there are things that you deal with that therapists don't understand. Sometimes it's hard to accept those things. Let's say I'm on a tour, which is already a scary thing. You're in a van, you're not fucking sleeping. You have no fucking money. Part of your team is trying to go back on the already shitty contract you have and you're getting fucking cheated on and you're doing just a bunch of crazy shit. You can't call a therapist for that shit. So I would talk to them, especially Joel. I would save those conversations, because I would have to go back to them so much. His time is valuable. It's almost like a cheat sheet in a way. It doesn't perfectly tie up all those bad things but those are probably the best answers I'm gonna get.

Let's talk about playing Warped Tour. You did it a few times in those early years and it must have been a pretty good learning process on how to grow your fanbase.

All 2016 we toured on 'Cluster'. 'Stupid For You' didn't come out until November that year. The reason I think I'm so good at marketing is because I had to do fucking all of it for four years straight. I was talking to somebody about this the other day where they were like, 'Oh man, if you guys ever opened for Taking Back Sunday, you'd fucking kill it. You'd get so many fans'. No, we wouldn't. And I can say this confidently, because I've promoted outside of three of their shows and I can tell you, those people did not like us. There's always the exception that proves the rule, but for the most part, I can tell you where we will and will not thrive because I've promoted to every fucking fan base. So Warped wasn't really different. Based on what shirts they were wearing at barricade or certain age ranges; I have a good meter of who will fuck with it and who will not. A Sleeping With Sirens fan would fucking love us, a Bayside fan would fucking hate us. You get what I mean? Paramore fans would fucking love us. An Alkaline Trio fan would fucking hate us. But the thing is, at Warped, you're kind of forced to exercise that muscle because all of those people are walking by. I wasn't shy on stage or anything but I think that could be one of the reasons I'm really good at crowd work. There's been a lot of bands we've toured with who say 'I don't know how you just talk to them for fucking five minutes between songs about different shit every night'. I don't know how you don't.

"IF IT'S NOT GOING UP AND GETTING BIGGER AND BETTER, I DON'T REALLY WANT TO DO IT."

Once you got to 'Fandom' and 'Greatest Hits', you were far more comfortable with experimenting musically and on the production side too. Did you feel a change in your confidence levels when you reached that era?

Confidence wise, yeah, but I think I'm too close to really see how big of a difference there is on certain things. I always wanted to be able to do 'Fandom' and even on the first EP with songs like 'Fantastic' or 'Silver', we are adding a weird synthy thing or vocal cuts. I was trying to explain that to this kid in the garage in the middle of fucking redneck nowhere woods, Texas. He just cut the voice and I'm like 'pitch it up and drag this one there'. Or bringing a weird, syncopated piano thing into the outro. I tried to make sure of that early on because I've always been such a fan of so many things. I just wanted that to come across even on album one. 'Crave' was a fully electronic thing, 'Territory' I wanted that to be an indie kind of vibe and then 'Mad All The Time' I wanted to be more industrial, kind of like Linkin Park with those weird, major melodies. 'Take Her To The Moon', full fucking pop song then throw 'Dizzy' in there with cut up shit and trappy drums. Then album two, we're gonna go fucking hard as hell with it on 'Tantrum'. I always felt like we were doing these things. But then I heard those albums the way I hear demos, where I think I hear kind of what they are in my head, what they could or should be. I remember when I showed the 'Fruit Roll Ups' demo to Travis (M. Riddle). He didn't really like it that much. It had all the same parts, all the same chords, vocals, the synth outro and the solo and all this stuff. But then when he heard the final one, where I went in with Zakk (Cervini, producer), and we beefed it up and added more stuff, he was like 'I love this one now so much'. But it's the same song. So when those first albums aren't seen as eclectic as the albums starting at 'Fandom', it would confuse me because I always felt like things were diverse. It really might just come down to the production.

One thing that certainly did change was how open you were in your lyrics. They were always honest but now they became a lot more specific over time.

Pete Wentz is my favourite lyricist and I love things just sounding as pretty as possible, trying to word things that people feel but in ways that they've never heard it described. You take a feeling like love, something that everybody fucking knows, and then just say it in a way with a combination of words that nobody has used yet. That was the goal for so long, but then I remember something kind of clicking when I was so mad and made 'Tantrum'. There was something that felt so much more cathartic. It actually gave me adrenaline and I wanted to chase that. That felt so good. There were certain songs like 'Reboot' or this demo called 'Play'. I wouldn't let a song go if it didn't give me chills. Certain lines like 'you're gonna be just like your mother', that's gonna make someone in real life so mad. So I think that's where that came from. Then songs like 'Turbulent' happened - 'you had your own Pete Wentz and Patrick combined' - and that's the start of the song. Are you kidding me? Who in the music sphere is going to hear that and not have some kind of reaction? And I just wanted a reaction. I could start 'Sleep Alone' and it doesn't have to elicit the same thing, but something as strong. They shouldn't elicit the same exact feeling, but they should elicit that dynamic level of emotional response.

“IF WE NEVER GET TO DO THIS AGAIN, I WANT TO GIVE THEM THE COOLEST SHIT POSSIBLE WHILE WE GET TO BE IN THIS SPOT."

As you mentioned earlier, it is hard to quantify success. A good example is the way 'I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don't Wanna Die Anymore' became your most streamed song, largely due to a TikTok trend you had very little to do with.

I didn't even know it was happening. Now, there's so many viral songs that the cycle is quicker. Somebody can have a song that bangs on Tik Tok for two weeks and then it's done. But this was so early on. It wasn't a single; it was a deep cut song on the album. It still doesn't have a music video. Neither does 'Turbulent'. It's just so odd because it also makes you a little mad. But then it's also a little humbling in a way. Things are out of your control, but they'll be okay.

You are still touring your most recent album 'Intellectual Property' so it is probably too early to fully analyze it but, now that we are nearly a year on from its release, how are you reflecting on what you achieved with that record?

I've told you this before but if it's not going up and getting bigger and better, I don't really want to do it. I don't want to spin the tyres in fucking mud. If it's not happening, then I'm not gonna do the trap where things start downgrading and we have to play old albums. It's not what I want. I'm good enough at other things to figure something out but preserve that legacy. But 'Intellectual Property' charted higher than any of our fucking other albums, first Top 10 in the UK. We've sold more tickets to the 'Property' tour than the 'Fandom' tour and the 'See You In The Future' tour combined. I'll say that one more time - we sold more tickets to the 'Property' tour than the entire 'Fandom' tour and the entire 'Greatest Hits' tour if you put them both together and add them up. That's the indicator to me. That's what matters to me. I did say at the top of the cycle in such a simple way that I want one of the red songs above the green songs. That's literally what I told Fueled By Ramen. So that didn't happen because the Tik Tok lords did not mysteriously bless us in our sleep. We still sold more. We got more real people in real seats. More was accomplished and it was bigger and better.

It feels like you have the same aim with each tour too - growing and building on what came before. Yet, again, you have always had those bigger ambitions for the show even when you were in slightly smaller rooms.

Dress for the job you want. With all the rooms we did on the 'Property' tour, they're the same ones that we would do for 'Greatest Hits', right? So it's like, okay, we did it. We conquered those rooms. Now we have to move up. Shit. Because otherwise, you just keep doing victory laps forever in the same rooms. So some of them, there's no fucking chance in hell we're gonna sell these out. But it's cool to try. And the thing is, it's still selling on par with the 'Property' tour. Part of me is like, damn, I wish we could have as many sold out things but there are already more people going to this show than the previous sold out one. So I pick my battles. Yeah, you could go play to 1300 people in New York again or you could try and do the fucking big ass thing. So that's kind of where it's at now. You want to build a fucking real show. On the 'Property' tour, we actually got to build shit for the first time. We built a set and this time it is just a bigger version of that. It's just bigger and with more changes. It's not even a spoiler because that's so fucking vague, but to have the show and set change as the set goes on, it's fucking cool. Sometimes I see people who are doing these same size rooms (so this isn't remotely punching down, we're doing the same rooms) and they'll just have a banner. Give them more. Give them a show. I'm so grateful to actually get to be in these rooms finally that if we never get to do this again, I want to give them the coolest shit possible while we get to be in this spot.

"NO PART OF ME IS INTERESTED IN JUST REPEATING THE CYCLE OVER AND OVER AND OVER."

Speaking of bigger shows, you got to play in arenas for the first time when you supported My Chemical Romance. Given what a huge fan you are of that band, it must have felt quite surreal.

Dude, it was so weird and so cool. Every night, the first song scared the shit out of me and then you kind of get the rhythm of it. It's just so weird. Sometimes between songs, I just had to look and take a mental picture. I saw My Chem when I was younger in an arena and I could see the seats I was in, you know what I mean? I could see people in them. You get to a certain point where stuff doesn't blow your mind as much but that blew my fucking mind every day. I remember the first time we ever got to go in a bus. It was so exciting. Now, when I get in the bus, I'm like, 'Okay, but where's the charger in the bunk? Where's the air? Is it just gonna freeze my feet?' It's not to say I'm ungrateful it just becomes more normal. If you go to the best pizza spot every day, after years of having it, it's just a good pizza spot. But getting to go open for My Chem and everything around it and all the details of it, I just never got used to. We'd go to the catering room and we'd sit down and there's Frank and there's Ray. We were in this hockey arena in the locker room and I had all my outfits, planning them out, and at one point, Gerard came through. I was showing him the fits and everything and he was like, 'Oh, you have great style'. I don't think you can get used to that. It's crazy. Maybe My Chem is used to it because they've been playing arenas for years and years and years, maybe that's the standard now. But God, that blew my fucking mind every day.

As you start to think about wrapping up this era, what are the goals as you move forward?

I just want to go places that we haven't been because that's what makes me feel excited. Like with playing in an arena for the first time, anything that is a huge dynamic change. That's all I'm looking for. I just want to feel excited. The people who like us, I appreciate them because we're so lucky enough to be in a place where we don't have to tour into the fucking ground if we don't want to just to survive. No part of me is interested in touring into the ground this year. I feel like we've been on tour for the last two and a half years straight. 2022 was preparing for this album, 2023 was promoting this album. One thing I enjoyed about 2019 was that we only did a short opening run, early in the year, and then we did the 'Fandom' tour at the end of the year. But that whole spring, summer and fall, we were just making cool shit. That made me feel excited. We made so many music videos and just did a lot of cool shit. We got to focus on the creative. I never would have been throwing around Sunny D in my apartment bathroom taking pictures of it for the 'Fandom' album cover if I had jetlag. No part of me is interested in just repeating the cycle over and over and over. I want to just do things that we haven't done yet and make stuff for everyone. Because if we go play in Copenhagen, Waterparks is for Copenhagen that day. But when I'm home and we're operating at full mental capacity and everything, we can make things for everybody. At the end of the day, I never want to fall into a pattern and repeat myself and do the same shit. I want to expand and see what we can do, what our capabilities are like. Do something that somebody hasn't done yet. I want to rent a movie theatre and do a fucking real premiere. I don't want to give a bunch of shit away but there's a lot of things that are always in the works. As Awsten, the guy steering the ship on fucking Waterparks, whatever's going on I just want it to be new and cool and feel fulfilling. If we had some fucking tyrant label that was like 'We need an album now' I could go 'There's fucking 100 songs on here. Go fucking make your album, pick them. Go have Zakk mix them'. But it's just not what intuitively feels right and I want to follow that intuition. I keep looking back at the 2019 year map as kind of a blueprint. That's not to say I'm gonna stay home all year. But it's just gotta be new. I want that feeling of getting in the bus for the first time.

#i only edited one of these outside of adjustment edits bc i realized the shadowy thing actually worked for a shoot like this let me be lazy #waterparks #awsten knight #geoff wigington #otto wood #i.zip

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oliverreedmasterass · 2 years ago

Text

Words: 4k

Synopsis: My interpretation of what happened backstage before the guys took the stage in Tucson, slaying the house down boots houston I’m deceased

Warnings: language, drinking

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“Shit,” Josh cursed as he sifted through their tote bag of rhinestones, face glue, and eyeshadow palettes. “We have so much left over.”

“We could auction it off for charity,” Danny suggested as he peered over Josh’s shoulder at their stash. “I know for a fact that someone would buy that.”

“Why would they do that?” Jake asked from the greenroom couch with a furrowed brow.

“I don’t think you understand how obsessed some of our fans are,” Danny replied.

“Eesh,” Jake said.

“I can’t let it go to waste,” Josh seemed troubled. “I paid good money for those rhinestones.”

“You didn’t pay for those rhinestones, I did,” Jenn corrected him as she entered the greenroom. “And they were dirt cheap.”

“Oh,” Josh mumbled.

“I do think we should go all in for tonight though,” Jenn suggested. “Just to end the tour with a bang, you know?”

“I’m in,” Danny was quick to agree. Out of the band, he was the most willing to put on stage makeup. In his eyes, it was a fun way for him to stand out from behind his drum kit. Plus, he felt pretty fucking hot when his eyes were darkened with the eye shadow.

Josh gave one more look down at the tote bag and shrugged.

“Why not?” he decided. “I think Jenn’s up for the challenge.”

“You bet I am,” Jenn grinned.

“What are we talking about?” Sam asked as he plodded into the room, a bottle of water and his phone in his hands.

“Going all out with the stage makeup,” Danny caught him up to speed.

“Ah,” Sam replied. “Count me in.”

“You want me to do your makeup too?” Jenn was floored. Sam had never expressed any interest in her doing anything with his face. She had heard him complain to Danny before that he put way too much effort into his skincare routine to have makeup ruin his pores.

“Sure,” Sam said like it was nothing. “I don’t want to feel left out.”

At that, everyone in the room turned to look at Jake. He was scrolling through his phone but looked up when he noticed the silence.

“What?” he asked.

“You can’t be the only one out there without a little makeup,” Josh told him.

“You guys have your fun,” Jake waved them off and snapped his head back down to study his phone. Josh, Danny, and Sam all exchanged disappointed looks but decided not to prod Jake any further. When he had his mind made up about something, it was set in stone.

“We’d better get started,” Jenn broke the silence.

“I’ll go first,” Josh volunteered, because he felt like his rhinestone time was something sacred between him and Jenn.

While Jake continued to direct all of his attention to whatever was on his phone, Danny grabbed his guitar from its case and plugged it into the amp they always requested on their rider. Near him, Sam opened his storage trunk with a grunt and started to mix a drink from his “On-the-Go Tiki Bar”. Danny started to pluck out the opening to “Broken Bells” while Josh settled in a folding chair and waited for Jenn to get her supplies ready.

“What are you thinking for me, Jenn?” he asked her. Jenn studied his face, trying to envision what would look best on him.

“I think we should actually put the rhinestones on hold for tonight.”

“Daring, I like it.”

Danny repositioned himself so he could get a good view of what Jenn was doing while he continued to mess around on his guitar. Jake took a brief second to smirk at him when he started to play a Cream song but, just as quickly, he was looking back down at his phone. Sam, with his mixed drink in hand, tried to get a peek at what Jake was doing by very non-discreetly leaning over the arm of the couch to place his face between the phone and Jake’s eyes. Jake slammed his phone into the break between the couch cushions and glared at Sam.

“Don’t look at my phone,” he scolded his younger brother.

“I just want to know what’s so important,” Sam defended himself.

“None of your business, that’s what,” Jake replied.

“Fine,” Sam huffed. He moved away from the couch slowly and, when his back was turned to Jake, Jake slid his phone back out from the cushions and started to retype his password. He called out in shock when Sam quickly turned on his heel, spilling his drink everywhere, and jumped back to Jake’s side to snatch the phone out of his hand.

“Give it back!” Jake sprung to his feet and started to chase after Sam. Danny, making sure he was out of their way, began picking out the Benny Hill theme on his guitar.

“You guys better not bump into Jenn,” Josh warned his brothers from his folding chair.

“Disconnect from the source!” Sam called over his shoulder while he ran in circles around the green room, Jake on his tail.

“Samuel!” Jake’s tone was stern. Unfortunately he wasn’t their father, so it had little to no effect on Sam. Sam started to prance around and Jake grunted out in frustration that he wasn’t able to catch up to his pest of a brother. When had Sam gotten so fast? Or was it that Jake had just gotten slower? Jake didn’t want to think too hard about that. “Please,” he forced out through grit teeth. Sam stationed himself so Danny was in between him and Jake and shook his head.

“What is it? Were you googling yourself again? Or are you looking into Imagine Dragons tickets?”

Danny started to play “It’s Time” which earned him a hefty smack from Jake.

“Hey, I’m not the one who took your phone,” he frowned at Jake.

“I would have done that to Sam instead if I could reach him,” Jake apologized.

Sam took advantage of Jake’s moment of distraction and slyly entered the rest of his passcode, unlocking his phone. Jake looked past Danny to Sam and groaned when he saw a large grin spread across Sam’s face as he studied Jake’s phone.

“Oh my god,” Sam finally spoke, letting the phone drop down to his side. Jake lurched past Danny and grabbed it back from Sam, who had started to laugh and shake his head.

“What is it?” Danny looked back to ask Sam.

“This idiot,” Sam motioned towards Jake, “this macho man who turned down Jenn’s kind offer was just Googling ‘eyeliner tips.’”

Even though Jenn was in the middle of painting a golden line under Josh’s right eye, he whirled around in his seat to face his twin. Jake’s eyes snapped to the ground and he jammed his phone into his pants pocket.

“I’m gonna get some fresh air,” he excused himself, and hustled out of the room.

“What the fuck was that?” Josh asked after Jake left.

“He did want to get his makeup done,” Danny explained. “He was just embarrassed.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is, though,” Josh said. “I mean, you and I wear it all the time, Sam is going to tonight as well, it’s not weird at all.”

“It’s not really his thing though,” Danny countered.

“It used to be,” Sam pointed out. “When he was in the thick of his pirate obsession, he leapt at every opportunity to put eyeliner on.”

“That’s right, he wore it for a few gigs and photoshoots,” Josh recalled.

“Well, people change,” Jenn gave her two cents. “Maybe he feels disconnected from that part of his life so he’s trying to ease back into it.”

“I guess,” Sam said. “I still don’t understand why he had to be so secretive.”

Jenn leaned away from Josh after she finished drawing the last golden line on his face and admired her work.

“That looks nice,” she congratulated herself. Josh turned to study his reflection in the mirror and, after taking in the new look, beamed back at Jenn.

“Good work, I look like a ray of sunshine.”

“That’s what I was going for.”

Josh rose to his feet with a grunt and pointed towards the door.

“I’m gonna try to find Jake and get him back here.”

Everyone agreed that was a good idea, so Josh disappeared down the hallway out of sight. The room settled in its silence and then Jenn checked her watch and bugged her eyes at the time.

“Danny, do you want to get over here?” Jenn motioned for him. Danny eyed the cable that was connected from the amp to his guitar and seemed to contemplate whether he could bring the guitar to the chair without it unplugging. He gave it a shot and plopped into the chair with satisfaction, testing out a loud chord that rang through the room.

“I’m gonna play while you work, if that’s okay,” Danny told Jenn. “I’ve got some pent up nerves I need to work through before we get out there.”

“Do what you need to do,” Jenn told him. “Just make sure you stay still.”

Sam wandered to find another chair and brought it next to Jenn’s side so he could get a front row view of Danny’s makeup routine.

“Can you make it extra dark tonight?” Danny put in a request.

“You got it, bud,” Jenn nodded.

“Wow,” Sam breathed out as Jenn passed the first layer of black eyeshadow over the top of Danny’s eyelid. “That stuff is pigmented.”

“How do you know about pigments?” Jenn arched an eyebrow while she continued to work.

“I have a sister,” Sam replied simply.

“And a refined taste for quality eyeshadow palettes,” Danny poked fun. Sam faked a frown in Danny’s direction, which he returned with his tongue out.

Sam continued to watch Jenn work her magic on Danny and, with each brush stroke over his eyes and rhinestone glued beneath his waterline, Sam started to feel a building anticipation to have his own turn in the folding chair. He just wished that Jake felt the same way.

***

Josh was glad that it only took him a couple of minutes to find Jake. That was the perk of not only being his twin, but also spending almost every second of the day with him: the guy was pretty predictable. Josh knocked on the stall Jake was hiding in and made sure his voice was soft and soothing.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” he asked through the door. He could hear Jake jump in surprise.

“I want you to go back to the greenroom and throw something at Sam for me,” Jake grunted after some thought.

“Come on, Jake, this is silly,” Josh ignored him. “If you want to wear eyeliner, you should have said so. We just want you to be happy is all.”

“I’d be happy if you respected my privacy,” Jake still sounded frustrated.

“Okay, Sam taking your phone wasn’t cool.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“But I’m sure he’ll apologize to you.”

“Josh, can I just have some space?”

Josh knew that it was best to clear the room for Jake, as much as he wanted to try and console him.

“Yeah, of course.”

He made his way back out of the men’s room and shook his head. Jake could be a handful sometimes.

Josh returned back to their room, running through all of the things he could have said to Jake that probably would have been better than what he opted for, and stopped in the doorway. Sam was sitting in the folding chair now, looking up at the ceiling while grasping onto his legs, tears pouring down his cheeks as Jenn passed some gold eyeliner under his eye.

“You’re doing good, Sam,” Danny tried to comfort his friend.

“This feels so weird,” Sam mumbled. “I take it back, maybe I don’t want any makeup.”

“I’m almost done,” Jenn promised.

Sam’s eyes looked to be scanning every inch of the tiled ceiling to keep himself distracted while Jenn traced the line out to the corner of his eye and flicked up.

“I don’t feel the wet thing anymore, are you done?” Sam’s eyes looked back at Jenn and Danny. Danny studied Sam’s face and let out a chuckle.

“That looks pretty good, Sam. You should have done this a long time ago.”

“You think?” Sam gave him a goofy grin back.

Josh joined their side and took in Sam’s new look. It was subtle in comparison to Danny’s dark eyeshadow and ruby rhinestones combination, but it somehow made Sam look even more ethereal than he usually did, walking around like a Jesus lookalike and all.

“We look so celestial,” Josh commented. It was Sam’s turn to take a look in the mirror and, after gazing at himself a little bit too long, he looked back at Josh and nodded.

Danny started to play “Here Comes the Sun”.

“I’m not done yet,” Jenn said over Danny’s impression of George Harrison.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked. Jenn uncapped her tube of mascara and held it out to Sam, who cocked his head to the side. “Um?” he responded.

“It’ll make your eyes really pop,” Jenn explained.

“You never give me mascara,” Josh pouted.

“Just let me have this one thing,” Jenn turned back to quiet Josh, who immediately sealed his mouth shut. Sam wasn��t arguing or running for the hills, so Jenn leaned forward and brushed the wand under his long eyelashes. It would have been a crime if she left those things alone. When she finished, Danny spoke her mind.

“Good call, Jenn,” he said.

“Am I pretty?” Sam said, starting to bat his eyelashes.

“No! Don’t!” Jenn was quick to stop him. “It hasn’t dried yet, you’re gonna ruin everything and then we’ll have to start all over.”

That made Sam stop pretty fast.

“How did it go with Jake?” Danny finally seemed to realize that Josh was back in the room.

“Well, he’s not here, so not great,” Josh replied. “I think he needs more time to cool off.”

***

Once Jake heard Josh shut the men’s room door, he peeked out from the stall. He knew that he was overreacting to everything, but he really didn’t appreciate how much Sam made him look like a fool back in their room. The only reason he had Googled eyeliner tips was because he was curious, that was all. Hearing everyone talk about stage makeup made him feel nostalgic for the days when he owned his own eyeliner that he tucked away in his desk drawer, penciling it quickly under his eyes whenever he felt especially bold. But that was a solid six years ago, and a lot had changed since then. Their fanbase had easily quadrupled in size, and he was worried that people would be especially vocal about how awful he looked if he couldn’t rock the eyeliner like he used to.

But the reception with his haircut had been overwhelmingly positive, and Jake had even started experimenting with different hoops to wear on stage, which people seemed to enjoy. He could feel himself testing the limits of his appearance, trying to reinvent what the modern day rockstar was technically supposed to look like. It was just that he knew, deep down, that he was worried he would look like a knockoff member of Maneskin. That band was too hot for their own good; he didn’t want to come across like a copycat.

Jake made his way to the line of mirrors above the sinks and studied his face. He had shaved the night earlier because his mustache still wasn’t growing in the way he wanted it to, so he looked nearly identical to his 2016 self, shorter hair and all. The longer he looked, the more he could picture himself out on the stage with eyeliner. In his gut, he could feel it starting to become less of a want, and more of a need.

“Fuck,” he mumbled to himself. He was going to have to be sneaky and fast.

It was a good thing that his band members were the least observant people alive. Jake managed to army crawl back into the room, steal Jenn’s makeup bag from literally under her nose, and slither back out into the hallway without a soul noticing him. It definitely helped that they were all crowded around Sam, who was acting as though he was being tortured by Jenn as she put on his rhinestones. In that moment, Jake was grateful that Sam could be a massive drama queen sometimes.

Jake sprung back to his feet and hustled to the bathroom, carrying the bag under his arm to stay discreet around the numerous roadies and stage hands who were rushing around the backstage area. He forced the door shut behind him and scanned around, finding a trash can that he could tuck under the doorknob to insure that no one else came in.

“Hello, old friend,” Jake greeted the eyeliner pencil as he pulled it out from the bag.

It was time to go back to his roots.

Jake was disappointed by just how out of practice he was with the pencil. It had seemed so simple when he was younger, but he had to take into account that he wore it a lot back then. Jake started with the lower lash line of his right eye since that was usually the easiest part, but ticked when he accidentally smeared the black line downwards, making him look more like a raccoon than a rockstar. He fumbled around in the bag and heaved out a sigh of relief when he found Jenn’s makeup wipes. For a second there, he was convinced he was going to have to return to the greenroom with his tail in between his legs and his makeup all smudged to beg for help.

He wiped the slate clean and steadied the side of his hand on his cheekbone to give it a second try.

“You’re a pirate,” he whispered in encouragement. “Be the pirate.”

This time around, muscle memory must have clicked for Jake because he successfully drew the pencil over his waterline without a single tear. In case it was a fluke, Jake quickly moved to the top of his eye and, just as easily, drew a second line right above his lashes.

“Ha!” he couldn’t help but call out in glee as he checked his progress in the mirror. The old Jake was coming back, and it was nice to see him.

Jake was proud of how effortlessly he was able to get his other eye done, and he couldn’t help but flash finger guns at his reflection because he was really feeling himself.

“I don’t need Jenn to do this for me,” Jake told himself. “I’m the makeup expert, not Josh, not Danny, not stupid Sam. Me.”

He knew he was short on time, so he tossed the eyeliner back into Jenn’s bag, packed up the makeup wipes, and carefully removed the garbage can from the doorknob. A part of him wanted to continue sneaking around until he had to go out on stage, but he also knew that it was better to just own up to what he had done.

So he bounded back to the green room.

***

“Do you think I should look for him?” Danny asked around the room. “We need to take the stage soon.”

“He’ll be out there, he’s just going through something right now,” Josh said. When Jake asked for space, Josh always let Jake come to him when he was ready. “He’ll come back when he wants to.”

“I hope so,” Danny looked at the doorway again with worry. Jake had outbursts every so often, but the music always came first, so if they ever got into an argument backstage, he usually let it slide pretty fast. This time around though he was gone for a lot longer than usual, and Danny was starting to believe that Jake had left and caught the first flight back to Nashville to start his solo career.

“I can look for him,” Jenn offered. She was in the middle of cleaning up her work station, but stopped, turning around in a full circle. “Where did my makeup bag go?” she asked.

“I saw it on the table not too long ago,” Josh said.

“That’s what I thought too,” Jenn mumbled. “It’s not there anymore.”

“Did you take it, Sam?” Josh turned to his brother.

“No, I did not take it, Josh,” Sam responded, his hand snapping up to mess around with the rhinestones Jenn had glued near the corner of his eyes.

“Don’t touch those,” Jenn took a brief pause from her search to coach Sam. “The glue isn’t great. It doesn’t take a whole lot to pull those off.”

“Oops,” Sam said, letting his hands flop back to his sides.

“Maybe I put it in the travel case,” Jenn thought aloud, returning back to the missing makeup bag. “It’s just so weird, I’m usually so good about keeping track of everything. It’s almost like someone snuck it out when we weren’t looking.”

“That’s because that’s exactly what happened.”

Jenn, Danny, Sam, and Josh all snapped their heads towards the doorway and gawked at the sight of Jake, who was cockily leaning on the frame, tossing Jenn’s makeup bag from hand to hand, gazing at all of them with his darkened eyes.

“My god, Jake,” Josh was the first to find his words. “You’ve still got it.”

“You bet your ass I’ve still got it,” Jake retorted as he handed the bag back to Jenn. “It was bold of you all to assume that I wouldn’t want in on the fun.”

Jenn finally got a good look at the job Jake had done and waved her hand in front of his face to get his attention. He twisted around to look at her.

“Can I help you clean that up?” she softly asked. “I think it would look good if it was smudged.”

Jake hated admitting it, but after giving himself another quick look in the mirror, he realized that Jenn was right. His lines were a bit crooked in some places, as if he had actually been a pirate trying to apply the black lines on the choppy sea.

“Yeah, okay,” he sighed. He really did want to look his best, even if it meant temporarily coming down from his high horse. He threw himself back into the folding chair and could feel Josh, Danny, and Sam’s eyes all on him as Jenn pressed a pencil brush against his lids and swished it back and forth, packing the dark color towards the corner of his eyes.

“Do you want some rhinestones?” she asked with hope when she was done.

“No,” Jake was quick to shut that idea down. He had a very specific vision of how he wanted to look on the stage, and rhinestones were not a part of that image. “I will switch these out though,” he added in an attempt to not hurt Jenn’s feelings, pointing at his earrings. “Got anything good on hand?”

“I’ve got a pair I’ve been wanting you to try,” Jenn sounded unbothered. She reached back into her bag and retrieved a ziploc bag that contained a pair of impressive-sized, clunky golden hoops. Jake gazed at them in admiration.

“Those look great.”

Jenn helped him fasten them on and then Jake stood back to his feet so he could look around at his bandmates. He had to admit that they all looked really good. Even Sam, as much as he looked out of his element, and as much as Jake despised his guts in that moment.

“I think we’ve never looked better,” he decided.

“It is a good way to finish off this tour from hell,” Josh agreed once he was done taking in Jake’s appearance. The shorter hair, bigger hoops, freshly shaven face, and eyeliner practically made him look like a different person. He looked confident and happy, which was more than enough to satisfy Josh.

“Amen to that,” Danny commented. “Five shows left.”

“Let’s give them a night they’ll never forget,” Sam looked around at his bandmates. “I’m gonna slay for my besties.”

“Please never talk again,” Danny patted Sam on the shoulder as he moved to put his guitar away.

Jenn watched the four boys do their final prep before going out on stage and beamed. She was one fucking brilliant makeup artist.

#greta van fleet #gvf #gvf fic #gvf fanfiction #gvf fanfic #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #danny wagner #sam kiszka #dreams in gold #fanfiction #this idea has been eating me alive all week

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