#we all saw the end of the season so...looks like claire temple was right once again !

[mymelodyheart]

All I Want For Christmas Is You Chapter 9 ~The Christmas Spirits~

Previously in Christmas Eve Rush

Her hand flew to her chest, and her eyes almost popped out at the realisation. "Good Lord. You're in love with her, aren't ye? It's all over your face. Oh my God!"

"Please? We dinnae have a lot of time," he whispered, almost close to tears. "Ye're the only one who can get through to Claire."

A few heartbeats passed as he held his breath. 

"Fine! Let's do this!" Suddenly spurred by excitement into action, she quickly grabbed a piece of paper and pen and handed it to him. "Write down your number, and I'll update you after I've called Claire."

"Ye will?"

"Yes, yes ..." she muttered. "Come on, chop-chop!" She clapped her hands at him.

Elated with the turn of event, he didn't waste any more time and rapidly scribbled his number and pushed the piece of paper back to her. "Thank ye. I owe ye big time." When an afterthought came to him, he shoved his hand into his pocket, took out a spare key to his cottage and placed it on the table. It was meant to be for Claire. "Another favour, I have a dog and kitten in the house and ..."

"I got it." She grinned and made a shooing motion. "Now go!"

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Claire sat at the airport's cafe, every sound of someone's laughter and the sight of happy couples holding hands, driving a knife into her chest. She still had a few hours to go before its time to go through security. With a heavy heart, she miserably flipped the pages of a glossy magazine, unseeing its pages' articles and pictures. It had taken every iota of her resolve and will power to leave Broch Mordha, and now Annalise had made her book a later flight because her friend was on the way and wanted to talk. Damn her for making this more difficult! In truth, she wanted to know what Jamie had told her friend and wondered what he would have said if she'd confronted him instead of running away. Now that she was finally out of his life was he even thinking about her? Staying in Broch Mordha would have most probably increased the likelihood of her believing his excuses and running back into his arms. She just couldn't handle the emotional fallout.

"I beg your pardon, is this seat taken?" a soft feminine voice asked.

Claire briefly glanced up, offered a weak smile and motioned for the woman to sit. She wasn't in the state nor mood for small talks so she put her head down and pretended to read, hoping the woman would take a hint.

Restless, she glanced again at her phone to check the time. Annalise should be here soon. Is she planning to fly with me? I hope not! She noticed the cafe was beginning to get busy with people waiting for love ones to arrive or the check-in counter to open. Tomorrow at this time, she'd be home. The thought of spending Christmas in London in the cramped apartment made her doubly miserable. She loved the open spaces of the Highlands and quaint villages. Although the weather could be quite grim, the landscape's natural beauty and loads of fresh air more than made up for it. With its tranquil settings, it was an ideal place to start her writing career. She'd put it on hold for far too long, working for a publishing company that gave her very little satisfaction and yesterday she'd even fantasised of moving to Broch Mordha and making it a reality to be closer to Jamie. How could I have been so stupid?

"Highlands in December is romantic, isn't it?" The woman sharing her table smiled pleasantly. "I love this place. There's something magical about it, don't you agree?"

Ah, another English woman to fall for the Highland charm! She was about to give some generic answer about the Highlands' ancient history lending the romance a hint of mysticism when the harsh truth chose that moment to free itself. "Kind of deceiving though, isn't it? I got caught up in that so-called magic, but some wanker decided to exploit it and use my heart to make fertiliser. I've only known him for a couple of days, but I can't stand being in this place anymore without thinking about him and his stupid, stupid handsome face. And the way he looked at me." She blew a breath and blinked back the tears. "I guess I was just plain naive and a bloody dimwit for thinking smooth talkers only existed in big cities like London. I tell you what, they're rife everywhere and you can never be too careful."

If the woman had been surprised by Claire's outburst, it didn't show. "Now, now, I'm quite sure there is a perfect explanation. Lovely and sweet as you look, I see the wisdom that belies your age in your eyes. You don't seem like a person to be taken by someone's smooth line at all."

She let out an almost deranged laugh. "Well, obviously, I am. I took one look at a beautiful face, and all logic went south. So there," Claire huffed.

The other woman looked away and sipped her tea. She was much older than Claire thought - in her forties maybe or could be fifties, but it was hard to tell. She had a dark, sleek modern bob hairstyle that contradicted the mumsy grey slacks, woollen jumper and lack of makeup and accessories. Her face was kind though, and there was a serenity in her demeanour she found comforting and familiar.

Claire regretted her oversharing and decided to shut her mouth and continued reading.

"I met my husband many years ago here. Not far from where we are now. A place called Broch Mordha."

Claire's head shot up. "Oh! Is your husband Scottish?"

"No, he's English. We met one summer while watching a Highland game. He lived in Broch Mordha while doing some research for work, and I was on holiday. We fell in love and eventually married. And every year from thereon we celebrated our anniversary here. It's a very special place for us."

"That's very sweet," Claire remarked, trying not to think of Jamie and what could have been for them if he hadn't been a knobhead.

The woman let out a soft laugh and daintily wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Sweet isn't the description I would have used to describe the circumstance of how we met; nevertheless, it turned out my darling husband is my soul mate and marrying him had been the best decision I've ever made in my life."

"Good for you ..." Claire whispered, subtly glancing once more at the time on her phone. She hoped Annalise would be here soon because the last thing she needed right now was to hear someone else's happily forever after. But in the end, curiosity got the better of her. "So what made you change your mind about him?"

The woman sighed and took out her book. "My husband was an insensitive clod, and when he eventually saw the error of his ways and asked for forgiveness, I gave him a second chance. Forgiving him didn't change the past, and I realised in the end, if I hadn't forgiven him, my actions would have robbed me of the best years of my life. And of course, a beautiful daughter who turned out to be everything I've ever hoped for and much more." She smiled and then turned her attention to reading. Obviously, oversharing was now over.

"I see ..." Claire muttered. Well, what had she expected? A magical solution? She almost laughed out loud. No such thing!

It was too late for her and Jamie anyway. She was on her way to London, and he'd probably moved on now that she was gone. It was definitely better this way. Out of sight, out of mind.

**********

He switched off the ignition of his car and texted Annalise to inform her he'd arrived at his destination. She'd messaged him earlier letting him know Claire would be at D'Lish cafe. Scanning his vicinity, Jamie drew in a lungful of air. He'd only been in Inverness Airport's parking lot a few minutes, and already his nerves were on tenterhooks. From the congested traffic and beeping cars to stressed people madly rushing about, Jamie realised how far from his world he'd strayed, and the distance was only under an hour's drive. 

He hadn't even stepped out of his car, and already he was counting the minutes till he was back within the peaceful haven of Broch Mordha. But he'd made up his mind. He wasn't going back without Claire and had taken his passport with him just in case he would have to follow her all the way to London. How he was going to manage that with his unpredictable episodes, he had no idea. He hoped he would be able to keep his panic attacks at bay long enough until he found her and convinced her to come back home.

"I'll walk in with you," Harry said quietly out of the blue as if he'd sense his trepidation. "My flight isn't till later, and my wife is probably enjoying her cuppa tea somewhere."

The tightness in his body relaxed, and Jamie nodded gratefully. Harry seemed to always understand his situation, popping out of the blue at the strangest times. Jamie had never questioned it and put it down to simply Harry being unusually perceptive and a good friend.

They quietly walked side by side towards the airport and when they entered the building, moving bodies and a sea of faces swarmed his vision. The racket and clamour of people going about their business surrounded him, and Christmas crowds trying to make it home before Christmas jostled too close, their cacophony of voices chattering excitedly. 

Jamie swallowed the mounting panic and fixed his thoughts on Claire, breathing deeply in through his nose and with a heaving chest, letting it all out with a whoosh. His eyes darted and saw people smiling and nodding animatedly, laughter and children's squeals infiltrating his consciousness, their sound accompanied by an air of anticipation that told him it was a season of joy. 

Jamie managed to put a grim smile on his face and concentrated on getting one foot in front of the other, apologising now and again whenever he accidentally bumped into someone, almost stumbling like an intoxicated man. Although aware of Harry's presence, perspiration coated his skin, and he could feel a bead of sweat running down his temple. The usually comfortable soft fabric of his sweatshirt chaffed and squeezed him like a clamp almost suffocating him. The chaotic din typical of an airport during the holiday season came in a huge rush of waves, at first faint, then building to a deafening sound that roared in his ears, shattering his foundation and foothold. 

Oh, God, please, not now. Jamie knew it was happening. Attempting not to panic, he began to employ a technique that more often than not worked. He tried listening to his mother's singing in his head, the one that stuck most in his mind and brought him comfort when he'd been amidst a conflict in a war zone, a song that sang him to sleep when he was a wee bairn.

He stopped a few metres away from the cafe where Claire was supposed to be waiting and took a moment to draw in oxygen, clinging to his mother's singing in his head. Goodnight, you moonlight ladies. Rockabye, sweet baby, James. Deep greens and blues are the colours I choose. Won't you let me go down in my dreams? And rockabye, sweet baby, James. 

He dimly recognised where he was, busy eateries, cafes and shops lined a wide area, a focal point for those waiting for love ones to arrive or passengers before heading to security that led to the departure area. Someone's child screamed nearby, and the sound of suitcases dragging on its wheels seemed to rumble and reverberate on the ground. Christmas light decorations that normally shimmered unobtrusively and gave a soft glow suddenly seemed to flash all around him, and the Christmas songs playing in the background became disembodied sounds. Jamie froze, gripped in the throes of a colossal panic attack that forced him to sink halfway to his knees.

Everything seemed to fade in and out, but it was Harry's voice he eventually clung to, his mother's singing hushing into the recesses of his head. The Englishman repeated his name and grabbed hold of his elbow, preventing him from collapsing to the floor and leading him firmly away from the moving crowd. Jamie pitched himself against the giant column and fought the crippling dread chipping away at his sanity. 

He glanced around frantically, but Harry's hand grabbed his face and forced him to look straight into amber eyes. 

"Breathe, Jamie. Everything is going to be alright. Just keep breathing." 

"H-Harry ...I n-need to ..."

"It's alright. I know. I'm not going anywhere. Just breath."

Jamie unzipped his jacket and fought for air, sucking in a lungful. And then, again and again, gasping and coughing as he doubled over, bracing his hands on his knees. Harry's strong hand massaged his back in a circular motion, the older man's presence calm and controlled, breathing with him, encouraging to gradually take in more air. 

It took a while to normalise his breathing, his heart to calm down and the cold sweat to evaporate. As he regained more control, though wobbly at first, he straightened up. Gathering his bearings, he ignored the odd looks from passersby, by now already used to it.

Harry gave him a reassuring smile. "Feeling much better?" 

Jamie managed a nod as the initial feeling of shame and embarrassment took over the panic attack. Why am I even here? Claire deserved so much better than this and all his fucking issues. On top of it all, he'd managed to make her feel cheap when he was nothing but just half a man. There was no way she'd go back to Broch Mordha with him.

"Oh no, you don't. I know that look in your eyes. You've made it this far, old sport," Harry whispered fiercely, straightening his jacket. "Don't you even think of going back home without trying!" 

Jamie blinked, confused. What the fuck? What does Harry know? But there was no time to ask questions, as he caught a glimpse of Claire past Harry's shoulder. She was in the cafe in the motion of getting up, her head bowed down while speaking on the phone. 

Last night, he'd held Claire in his arms and now, the reality of the moment hit him hard as he saw her hand gripped the suitcase next to her, reminding him she's waiting to board a plane. He could hardly think over the furious pounding in his chest as a combination of relief at seeing her and fear of rejection surged through him. He barely registered himself, moving towards the cafe when Harry put a hand on his arm. He turned to meet his friend's eyes. "You're on your own now. For now. Remember to breathe."

Jamie swallowed hard and nodded.

"Now go and hurry."

**********

Claire panicked, her eyes darting around the cafe. Annalise had just called and confessed Jamie was on his way to talk to her. Her friend had insisted on giving Jamie a chance to explain and that he'd made a mistake. 

But Claire couldn't do this. She didn't have this sort of experience nor the emotional strength to handle this kind of situation. All she knew and was aware of was how much Jamie had hurt her with his words. 

She quickly stood up, said goodbye to the woman sat on her table, grabbed her bags and made her way out of the cafe. She kept her head down and tried not to look around in case Jamie spotted her. She began to walk faster, weaving through crowds of travellers as she wheeled her suitcase, images of Jamie encroaching her thoughts. A new voice was trying to make itself heard, telling her maybe she ought to listen to what Jamie had to say. But what was there to say? She'd seen what he wrote with her own eyes, and there was no explaining himself out of it.

She was just getting into the queue for the security check when a shout cut through the hubbub surrounding her. 

"Sassenach!"

She stiffened, and her hand went slack around the suitcase's handle, sending its bulk toppling to the floor. It took a few heartbeats for her to turn around and face Jamie, afraid her resolve would collapse if she looked at him. When she finally saw him, he stood a few yards away, suspended in a sea of bustling chaos. Perspiration beaded his forehead, his face pale and eyes a little wild as they searched hers, snagging on the way she snatched her suitcase to an upright position and pulled it closer to her side. As always, ever since she first laid eyes on him, his unusual male beauty made her chest ache. A head taller than most, he looked out of place in the busy surroundings, his blue eyes penetrating through everything in their wake to reanimate her heart.

She waited for something to happen, but he just continued to stare at her, his body swaying a little. He looked like he was about to faint. Worry, combined with fear prickled her skin when she recalled his accounts of his PTSD condition. She'd made it this far, and now she was torn between going over to him and making her way to the security.

"What are you doing here?" she said a little harshly.

"Dinnae go in that plane.”

"It's too late for that."

Anguish fogged his handsome features. "I need ye to hear me out, Sassenach. Please."

Claire shook her head. "What is there to say, Jamie? That text you wrote, told me everything already."

"Please let me explain ..."

"I already know what you're going to say, Jamie. You're going to say you didn't mean to write that text. It's classic and cliche at the same time and utter bullshit." Claire's shoulders sagged, and she swallowed hard. "No, I'm sorry, I can't ..." 

She started to step into the queue, but stopped, her heart caught in her throat when a passerby in a rush accidentally bumped into him, and he almost vaulted over. She saw how much it took out of him just to remain upright. She made a move to come to his aide, but he stopped her with a motion of his hand, telling her he would say his piece without any help. Squeezing his eyes shut, he took several deep breaths, discomfort, and distress in this busy environment evident on his face. 

"You don't look well, Jamie. You should go home," she said, glancing around, aware of people looking at him.

"Damn it, Sassenach," he wheezed. "I'm gonnae make ye listen even if it kills me."

A stabbing pain went through her heart. "I can't do this, Jamie. I'm going."

"No!" He took another unsteady step forward. When Claire stayed put, relief washed over his face. "What I wrote to my sister about you was wrong ..."

Rage replaced the hurt she was feeling. "You made it sound I was just a notch on the bedpost," she snapped, angrily.

Jamie winced as a woman nearby gasped and glared at him, but they both ignored her. "No, Sassenach. You were never that ..."

"Your words winter fling said it all. What else could it mean?"

"Sometimes, what I think and what I feel doesn't translate into words ..."

"Or you don't think at all," she interrupted, tipping her head back to keep the tears from falling.

His head dropped. "No, I didnae think. What I said was inexcusable, and no explanation or apologies would take any of the hurt I caused ye back."

"It was a horrid thing to say about someone!"

His face flickered with regret and self-loathing. "It was, and I'm an arsehole for it."

"They why? Why Jamie? Is that how you talk about your conquests?"

His face paled even more. "No! You're not that at all. What we had was special, and I've never felt like this about someone before."

"You could have fooled me ..."

He took a careful step forward as if afraid she would bolt. "Sassenach, I said what I said not because that was what I thought about you and that's the truth. Partly, I text those words to get my sister off my case. She was badgering me for getting involved with ye because she was worried about me falling for someone from the city due to my condition. Another part of the reason I wrote that had to do with my fear of getting emotionally attached. I thought by labelling what we had as temporary, it would be easier to let ye go when the time comes. It was wrong ...so wrong. I wish I hadnae said it."

Claire could barely see him through the blur of tears. The awful pain she'd had in her heart all morning waned a little. She forced her feet to move, but the emotion in his voice kept her rooted in place. 

"Christ, everything happened so fast between us. And I was rushing ahead before I could comprehend what was happening. When ye told me ye live in London, I was convinced that nothing could come out of this ...us ...whatever this is we have ....because I wouldnae ken how to live in yer world and it wouldnae be right to ask ye to give up yers. When I asked ye to extend yer stay, my intention was to make as many memories with ye because I needed to face the truth of my limitations. I was determined not to be that someone who held ye back and made ye regret what ye could've done. I said to mysel' whatever time ye could give me, I'd be grateful. Yet, here I am, begging ye not to get on that plane."

She wanted to go to him, take him in her arms and forget what had happened, but she needed more. She needed to know that this thing between them was more than just a handy itinerary with chemistry tossed into the mix. For her, it had always been more, but he's a man, and maybe it's just all about sex for him.

"Sorry, Jamie." Bracing her shoulders, she pulled her suitcase behind her and joined the line for security check-up.

"Wait!"

She and every person within hearing distance in the queue turned around to look at him.

This time, Jamie didn't flinch and looked at her straight in the eyes with unwavering intensity. "I cannae let ye go without giving it my best shot. I've used my condition as an excuse for far too long, yet not once did ye ever look at me as someone damaged. I dinnae want my condition to stop me anymore from going after what I want. I swear to God, ye havenae seen persistence yet, Sassenach. Ye have nae idea what it looks like until ye've seen it on me. I've fought for my life in a war zone before, and I'm doing it again now. If ye get on that bloody plane, be rest assured I will be on the next flight behind yours. I will show up in every God damned place ye go to until ye give me the time of day. And I willnae stop until I get it through yer pretty head how much ye mean to me. And if ye come back to me, I promise ye, I'm gonnae work my arse off to prove to ye every day how special ye are. Even if it means moving to London to be closer to ye. All I'm asking for is a second chance."

Looking at him, she knew he meant every word, and there was an intensity about him, that told her he would go through with his threat of following her to London. A lump stuck in Claire's throat, so huge she could barely speak. Her face crumpled, and she let the unshed tears she'd held all morning flow. Unable to stand a moment longer without feeling his arms around her, she let go of her grip on her suitcase and began to make a move towards him. Jamie fell back a few steps, both hands flying to rest on top of his head, relief and disbelief visible in every line of his body. She covered the distance separating them in three steps and flung herself into strong arms that circled around her without hesitation. Applause, cheers and whistles from passengers who had witnessed the scene erupted around them, making them both laugh through tears. 

"Jesus Christ, Jamie," she stammered with a hiccup. "You really know how to cause a scene and really make it count." 

A hand tunnelled through her hair, gripping her neck so he could angle her head and kiss her. "I'm so sorry, Sassenach. Oh, God, I'm so sorry," he muttered against her lips. "I was an idiot. I thought I wasnae gonnae make it." 

A shudder passed through her. "I almost got on a plane and spent Christmas on my own." 

Jamie fell back into the nearest seat, taking Claire with him. Obviously spent from all the emotions. "Dinnae remind me ...ever again, please. But just so ye know, I have my passport with me. I was ready to come after ye. Today." 

Claire clung to him tighter. "It's Christmas, and we're together. Let's just focus on that." 

"Christ, I thought I knew fear." His breath shook and fanned her skin. "That was the scariest situation I've been in." 

She let out a sigh, inhaling his scent from the crook of his neck. How had she thought for one second that running away would have been a better option? She thought of the woman she spoke to earlier in the cafe and smiled. 

Jamie shook her a little. "Ye're going to think this is mad, but I dinnae want to take another second for granted, so I'm just going to say it, so ye ken once and for all." 

"Say what?" she whispered. Jamie tilted her face up for a slow, deep kiss, then stood, lifting her in his arms. 

"I'm in love with ye, Sassenach. I ken it's too soon, but I want it out there just in case something happens and I dinnae get another chance to say it, or I do something stupid like making ye cry. Life's too short for over-analysing things and keeping something like that to myself." 

She smiled through fresh tears. "I'm in love with you too, Jamie. And next time you say something stupid, I'm just going to get into a fight with you about it, instead of running away."

Jamie's laughter rumbled in his chest before his face turned serious. "Merry Christmas, Sassenach. May it be our first of many more to come."

Claire reached out and clasped his face with her hands and laid a soft kiss on his lips. Her heart broke open, and for the first time, all the pieces clicked together in a perfect puzzle, and everything made perfect sense. Because she'd learned early on you needed to take the bad with the good and embrace it all. Despite Jamie's condition and fear of uncertainty, she'd taken a gamble and trusted her guts, and by giving him a second chance, they'd ended up with the best thing of all. 

Love at Christmas. 

She knew it wasn't going to be smooth sailing forever. There were going to be long talks of how they ought to proceed with their relationship, compromises to be made, and probably many teething problems during their phase of getting to know each other. But as long they both keep their hearts open, they should have a fighting chance.

"Merry Christmas to you too," she whispered, her voice raspy with emotion. 

"Shall we go home?" he murmured, smiling.

"Yes, let's go home."

Hand in hand they left the airport and headed back to Broch Mordha to celebrate Christmas.

 Dear Readers,

Firstly, thank you for your best wishes and feedback from the previous chapter. This latest update was supposed to be published on Christmas day. Unfortunately, because I was so overly ambitious about the storyline, I was unable to deliver. I didn't want to rush it after having gone through the story in my head many times.  Rushing it probably would have made me miss many of the elements I wanted to put in this story.

Anyway, I had a lovely quiet Christmas. With everything that's happening globally, it was more of a time for reflection for us instead of celebration. I am just grateful that my love ones are safe and healthy and hope you're own dearests are as well. As for this story's direction, I don't know how many chapters there are to go, but I can safely say there is another one after this. I will try to publish before New Year, and if I am unable to do so, I wish you all a New Year full of exciting possibilities, good health and lots of love. Keep the good vibes rolling and take care. X

[ryttu3k]

Doctor Who - Flux: War of the Sontarans thoughts!

Holy shit those opening moments. The cloister bell, the black and white dead forest, the creepy house... I wonder if it's representative of the TARDIS being messed up? Or the state of time/Time?

And onwards. Historical and space! The duality *chef's kiss* Mary Seacole is rad, I did read up on her afterwards and she did indeed seem that cool. Lowkey love historical figures getting temporarily promoted to companion.

Speaking of companions, I am very worried about Yaz (also Vinder, but like, much less so given that he only just appeared and instantly got a crush on her, dude has good taste). Her WWTDD was... ow, my heart. Assuming she survives this mini-season (which, uh, is not guaranteed), I would like to see her change that to WWID? "What would I do?" Not trying to be the Doctor, but trying to be Yasmin Khan, who's awesome.

And Dan! Dan! I was skeptical about him when he was announced but he's rad! I love that he got a mini-adventure with his Mum and Dad. I love that he snuck into a Sontaran base armed only with a wok and a phone. Tempura, oh bless. "........that makes more sense."

"How'd you like that, eh?! Pan-fried Sontaran! Now I'm gonna... wok right outta here!"

Dan and Karvanista though. "I've still got a human in this fight!" Karvanista shaking himself off! Dan screaming his head off as he gets, um, flushed and Karvanista's just going, "WHOOOOOOOOO!!" Scooby Doo! I love their whole dynamic and I absolutely want this season to end with them going off on Space Adventures together.

...is it bad I lowkey ship them? It's bad I lowkey ship them, right. *peeks at tags* Okay we're good I'm not the only one. Kardanista or Danvanista, apparently.

Quoth @famdommcfanface who articulated it perfectly I hate it here:

*Deep breath* Okay but Dan and dog boy have so much enemies to lovers potential, they have a kind of soulmate thing going on and I know they’ll bond and I think dog boy will die and Dan will cradle his dying body and it'll be strangely homoerotic and Chris why are you doing this to us I don't want to ship Dan with a dog but you're leaving me no choice.

There was this moment in the ship yard where he saw those people being executed and his expression just... changed. Like there was this look in his eyes that was like, "I'm a Companion now." Honestly, chills.

The General needs a punch in the dick. And most of the Sontarans (Linx shoutout, though!). Very impressed at both the Doctor's slingshot and Dan's Mum's wok, heh. Back of the neck!

("I wanted to ride a horse" was lowkey hilarious tbh. Also, "Take your hat off, mate! ...Eugh, on second thoughts, put it back on." And the mischievous eyebrowraise after, “You're talking to her." And "I'm gonna need a pointy stick." And, "Hit the road, Skaak." Thirteen I would die for you.)

So that temple, the Moirai, the Bling Siblings and their silent friend, and Time as a planet and a physical force... I'm guessing that the two Moirai fading out is why Flux was unleashed? Time broke slightly, so now it's being eaten and stuff?

Next two episodes are 'Once, Upon Time', which has Cybermen and the Doctor with a new coat, and Village of the Angels. I'm guessing the latter is where we'll see the Weeping Angels and Claire again, and still no idea what's happening with Dan’s friend Di (unless she is the Passenger?) or the guy from old Liverpool making the tunnels (apparently, he's Joseph Williamson, who really was excavating Weird Tunnels. With Dan as a Liverpool tour guide, he almost certainly knows about them). We shall wait and see!

(As a side note, I am really enjoying the serial format. We haven't had a proper serial since Trials of a Time Lord! I'd love to see this get picked up in the future!)

(As a side, side note, Thirteen's hair.)

(That is all.)

[addictedtostorytelling]

Hello ! I just saw your reblog of a daredevil gif and, do you have an head canon on wether or not Matt and Karen would have been back together and how , if the show had been renewed ? Thx !

hey, anon!

i will admit that few things in television baffle me as much as the way the defendersverse powers that be approach romantic pairings.

don’t get me wrong: i generally like the love stories told in this fictional universe. 

i just also don’t know exactly what to make of them.

usually, even without possessing any foreknowledge as to how each individual ship will pan out, i can still be relatively certain as to whether or not a given story world “believes in great loves.” 

but with the defendersverse, i’m not quite sure. 

that so, my short answer here is: i don’t know whether or not karedevil would have gotten back together, had daredevil been renewed. on the one hand, i feel like they were kind of set up to be endgame from the beginning. but on the other hand, i feel like as the wider defendersverse developed, there were also other viable options introduced for the both of them. 

ultimately, i think it would have come down to how the powers that be conceived of the story universe overall—and whether they were interested in telling structured, trope-compliant love stories or not.

more discussion if you click the “keep reading.”

___________ 

a big part of my uncertainty regarding how the defendersverse treats romances stems from the fact that its shows end mid-story, skewing my perspective of what’s there. 

none of the shows has more than three seasons to their names, and all were cancelled abruptly, without really affording the writers a chance to implement final conclusions. they all suffer for having loose strings, never to be tied.

consequently, it’s hard to tell which broken-up ships of the defendersverse were actually broken-up for good and which ones were just at a midgame impasse and might have later reconciled, had they only been given more time and narrative space in which to do so. 

however, another obstacle to making this determination is not in the circumstances but in the storytelling itself, as the defendersverse powers that be tended to be fairly indiscriminate in how they used romantic devices surrounding their ships, which means that a lot of the usual “midgame” vs. “endgame” signposts in this story world are blurred. 

in the first seasons of both dd and jj, the defendersverse powers create deep and compelling romantic relationships for their respective main characters, playing to all kinds of familiar “this relationship has long-term significance” tropes.

you want the jaded female superhero who’s given up on both love and the world, who then meets a guy who’s both so good and so good for her that she has to reevaluate her priorities? check.  

you want the male superhero who rescues the girl-next-door in body, only to have her rescue him in soul? check again.

there’s all sorts of smiles, talk of “before you, i never allowed myself to think about this kind of stuff,” heartfelt sacrifices, expressed vulnerabilities, etc., etc., etc.

in a story world that “believed in great loves,” no one who watched these seasons could be faulted for thinking that jessica jones would be endgame with luke cage and that matt murdock would be endgame with karen page.

the question, however, is, “is the defendersverse actually a story world that believes in great loves?”

in my mind, the evidence is ambiguous.

at most, the defendersverse powers only allow these relationships to progress for one or two seasons before dismantling them—but whether they mean to dismantle them temporarily or permanently is difficult to say.

the characters lead such complicated, dangerous, and ethically fraught existences that whatever happiness they experience in love is generally and perhaps unavoidably short-lived. 

as secret identities are revealed, moral stances compromised, trauma experienced and assessed, and heroic stakes raised, their relationships inevitably crumble under the pressure.

this crumbling could perhaps speak to this fictional universe being one in which all loves come with an expiration date printed on them, with none being given special narrative priority over any of the others.

however, the crumbling could also be a story component.

maybe the writers planned these breakups, knowing full-well they were temporary and that eventually the couples would get back together in the long term. maybe they’re just a midgame detour en route to the final endgame.

so cut to the next leg in defendersverse development, when tptb reshuffle the pairings between their main properties, sending character a from show 1 to be with character b from show 2. the process then continues and multiplies as more properties are added to the ‘verse, with characters spinning off into new shows and coupling in new and increasingly intricate permutations with one another.

of course, the truly interesting thing is that once these reshufflings take place, the new relationships created often prove just as deep and compelling as the relationships which preceded them and are marked by just as many typical endgame signposts.

matt murdock is willing to die for elektra and very nearly does so.

karen page repeatedly throws caution to the wind to choose frank castle over public opinion, common sense, and even her own well-being.

there are indicators to suggest that these new pairings could be endgame, just as there were with the ones before them. there’s deep connection. there’s ride-or-die stuff. there’s cuteness. there’s even potentially destiny. 

so, as a trope-savvy fan, one is left thinking, “well, okay, if the first pairing wasn’t endgame, then maybe the second one will be,” but then by the next season, the second pairing has often been dismantled much in the same way that the first one was previously.

a salient example here would be claire temple’s various relationships: in s1 of dd, her involvement with matt murdock ends because his vigilantism and masochism drives a wedge between them. after their falling out, she eventually starts dating luke cage. while she and luke are devoted to each other through much of lc s1 and the defenders miniseries, their relationship crumbles at the end of lc s2, when luke’s attitude toward “justice” prompts claire to ask him for “a break.” her second relationship within the defendersverse thus ends much in the same way that her first one did: with claire stepping back from her man because she finds his intense approach to heroism unhealthy.  

by the point of cancellation, the net effect is that because all of these relationships have in some ways been treated as “sacred,” none of them feels sacred overall, or at least not definitively. 

i can’t really look at them and say, “karedevil is the endgame; mattlektra is the midgame”—and especially not when elektra keeps miraculously resurrecting after she’s killed—because both ships have been set up in ways which suggest lasting significance.

i also can’t look to the comics as a cheat sheet, because while most of the relationships depicted in the defendersverse do have some basis in comic lore, the shows themselves don’t strictly adhere to that canon—and, in some cases, actively go against it.

in the new avengers comics, jessica jones and luke cage get married and have a daughter, but in the defendersverse, their relationship is pretty thoroughly trashed in the aftermath of jj s1.

still, where things get truly complicated is in the way that these various relationships interact with one another within the wider defendersverse.

if luke cage is jessica jones’s great love, but he is also claire temple’s great love, then someone is bound to lose out, right? and since the audience should in theory be sympathetic to all three characters, who are we supposed to be rooting for? likewise, if matt murdock ends up with karen page, then she can’t be with frank castle, you know? so does that mean matt has to be with elektra? but what if elektra dies (and for once stays dead)? then what?

the writers are playing “musical chairs” with their ships, but, as per the game, it would seem that someone is going to be left standing at the end.

so.

all of this discussion is a very long way for me to say that i genuinely have no idea what the defendersverse powers intended for romantic karedevil.

they are initially set up using many of the same tropes and storytelling techniques that would be used for an endgame pairing—but that framing only matters if the defendersverse is one where “endgame” is actually a legitimate thing that the writers are actively working toward.

it could be that matt and karen were meant to be a slow burn endgame, but the writers got cut-off midway through telling their story, before they could be romantically reconciled after their midgame falling out.

however, it could also be that, whether they were initially interested in creating a karedevil endgame or not, by s3 of dd, the writers had moved on from the possibility of romantic karedevil altogether, being more enticed to pair karen off with frank due to deborah ann woll’s unexpectedly good chemistry with jon bernthal.

of course, maybe endgame karedevil was never even on the table at all, either because it was always meant to be a midgame ship OR because this isn’t a fictional universe that is geared toward endgames, period.

“endgame” is a concept somewhat antithetical to how comic books work, as there’s always going to be another iteration and another series and another run, and the details will change, depending on who’s doing the writing and which universe the story takes place in; maybe the defendersverse was working on a similar model, where while matt murdock has history with many women, including claire temple, karen page, and elektra, he’ll never be tied one woman forever; his love life will always be a revolving door, depending on what suits the purposes of the story.

or maybe nothing had been decided yet, one way or another.

maybe the powers were more writing from season to season, keeping their options open, seeing what was available to them.

after all, there were a lot of moving parts in play across the wider ‘verse. 

who’s to say what might have happened had some of the defenders shows been cancelled but not others? who’s to say what might have happened due to the changing availability of various actors?

prior to the cancellations, rosario dawson had decided to step down from playing claire, a decision which would have undoubtedly sent ripples across the entire defendersverse, romance-wise.

up until the point when netflix pulled the plug, all sorts of possibilities were still open. there were still so many ways the writers could have chosen to swing things.

as for my personal headcanon (regardless of writer intention or what might have been), i should preface my thoughts by saying that while i enjoy karedevil, they’re not my number #1 preferred ship for either matt or karen, so i would have been perfectly happy with them as a midgame romantic ship that eventually reverted back to a platonic baseline, as per the end of dd s3.

that said, i can definitely see a road that leads to them getting together in the end.

my thoughts are these:

by the end of dd s3, matt and karen are back to being friends again after having been “fallen out” for a long time. since s2, karen has known matt’s secret identity, but now matt likewise knows about karen’s past, meaning that, in a way, the playing field is level between them.

still, their relationship is somewhat fragile. 

for the first time in their history, they’ve been honest with each other, and now neither one of them can “hide” in the ways that they used to. they’re both highly aware of this new vulnerability, and neither one of them wants to screw things up. they’re still sussing out what it will mean for them to work together again.

they don’t want to leave foggy caught in the middle of things like before.

so with that in mind, i see their romantic reconciliation as a slow burn process.

of course, they’ve always had a palpable connection, and that connection would be there from the start, even when they were working hard at “just being friends.” 

gradually, that connection would grow stronger and more impossible to ignore. 

there would be moments when they were working late nights together (after foggy had gone home to marci) when they’d stumble on a lead in their case and start talking excitedly, finishing each other’s thoughts, drawing closer and closer together, until suddenly they realized that there was only an inch of space between their faces and had to pull back, awkward and businesslike once more.

there’d be times when their clients would mistake them for a couple, and they’d laugh and try to brush it off but both be blushing too much to truly convince anyone that they were unaffected by the suggestion.

eventually, they’d start testing the waters—matt purposefully saying flirtatious things, karen touching matt more than she had reason to.

at some point, they’d have to broach the subject.

maybe matt would have taken to walking karen home after work, and one night, after a lot of laughter and arm-holding, she’d stop on the top stair and turn back to him and say, in that breathless, incisive way of hers, “i know you can hear how fast my heart is beating. is yours beating fast, too?” 

but, of course, since their relationship doesn’t exist in a vacuum, matt would probably be on the trail of bullseye or some other villain by this point, and, inevitably, these other story factors would come into play. 

i don’t know exactly how everything would go down, but my sense as a storyteller is that something would have to impede karedevil’s relationship; the path to reconciliation would, by necessity, have to be a long and wending one for them.

maybe for whatever reason they’d decide not to risk their friendship by pursuing a romance.

or maybe they would pursue a romance, only to have that relationship endangered by whatever villain they’re up against OR to have some of their past interpersonal issues resurface.

(for example, maybe as matt gets deeper and deeper into whatever case he’s working, he starts to emotionally shut karen out again, or maybe karen starts to distrust matt because he’s being evasive; etc.)

hell, maybe elektra turns up in hell’s kitchen, flipping their dynamic on its head.

after all, elektra’s body was never found after the destruction of midland circle, and karen has never gotten to talk to matt about finding elektra in his bed in s2; the potential for angst would be huge.

in any case, i imagine that things would deteriorate for a while—maybe to the point where, if they were already together, karedevil might once again break up.

but, ultimately, something would happen that would remind them of the depth of their feelings for each other—one of them would be hurt or captured or undergo another near-death experience; matt might end up fighting elektra to save karen; or karen might do something to help matt, even though they’d been on shaky ground before.

i don’t think karen would ever make matt give daredevil up completely—because she understands his thirst for justice and even his recklessness, to some degree, and she doesn’t begrudge him those parts of himself—but i think that in the end, matt would have to change; he’d have to become less self-loathing and not compartmentalize his feelings to the extent he always had before. he’d have to start to care more about his own life and well-being than he had in the past so that karen didn’t have to worry about him committing passive suicide via superherodom.

dying for a cause is one thing; dying just because you can and because you don’t value your own life enough to take self preserving actions is another.

karen would also have to learn to trust that matt and not to hide things from him. she’d have to learn to be truly emotionally intimate with him, which would be difficult for her at first, considering that she’s spent her whole adult life holding back important parts of her person.

(one of the interesting things about karedevil is that even though they have this deep, implicit understanding of each other, for most of their relationship, they’ve not really known each other, as both of them have been hiding significant secrets.)

i can see an endgame for them where matt is daredevil with karen’s help and blessing, and she provides him grounding and solace, while he proves to her that, despite her prior experiences, not everyone in her life is going to reject her and send her away; he knows her, and he knows her past, and he’s staying for as long as she wants him.

of course, in all fairness, i can also see many endings for these characters that don’t involve them being in a romantic relationship with each other; this is just one of the possibilities.

anyway,sorry i can’t give a more definitive answer, anon! thanks for the question.

[likethetailofacomet]

Worth 1,000 Words

Closing in on the end of the social season and I don’t know who is more relieved, me or Drake and Claire...Anyway, proud to announce that EVERYONE made it out of Applewood Murder Mansion, and we’re back safe and sound...

tagging: @ooo-barff-ooo @sleepwalkingelite @zaffrenotes @brightpinkpeppercorn @endlessly-searching-for-you @endlesstaylormckenzie @agent-bossypants @andy-loves-corgis @drakewalkerrosenberg @nekkidmolerat @gardeningourmet @indiacater @roonarific @mind-reader1 @notoriouscs @cordoniantrash @jovialyouthmusic @akrenich

Tunes: Never be Ready- Mat Kearney 

Sitting on the back porch watching the setting sun turn the sky orange as it sunk beneath the rippled surface of the lake, Claire took a full, deep breath for the first time in days. Here, with Drake, secluded and safe, tucked away in the trees she felt more at home than she ever did in her own apartment, and thought to herself that it wasn't her apartment anymore- her lease had expired sometime last week. This was the only home she had now, this cabin, and the arms around her. She settled against his side, tucked under his arm, her knees hugged up in front of her and her head resting lightly against his shoulder. The last few days at Applewood Manor had been some of the most terrifying moments in her life, and some of that still lingered, but she was astonished at how much of it he was able to erase simply by holding her, by brushing his lips to hers, by saying her name, by meeting her airy blue eyes with his deep chocolate brown ones.

The ride back to the palace had been stressful, especially with Kiara's random interest in her safety, and seeing him after their brief separation had produced the biggest sigh of relief that her soul had ever felt. He'd pulled his truck into the garage just two cars behind hers, and both of them had sought out the other's eyes as they exited their vehicles. Claire allowed Micah to escort her and Kiara all the way into the palace hallways, with Drake just a few steps behind. She felt his eyes on her and knew she was safe. When he'd caught up to the two ladies and Micah, he turned to the young man to thank him for getting Claire and Kiara back safely. Micah had smiled slightly, nodding and replying that he was happy to do his job before excusing himself to join Bastien for the security meeting. Kiara turned to head towards her room, looking back over her shoulder at Drake and Claire, still standing there together. The look in her eye was unreadable and Claire's heart thumped at the strangely pointed question that Kiara had asked her. She shook her head and let Drake's hand on the small of her back lead her down the hall to her room.

As soon as they were behind closed doors she wrapped herself around him and he pressed her as close as he could. She tilted her face up to meet his as he brought his left hand gently to her face. “Hey, beautiful,” he said softly, eyes shining as he leaned down to kiss her gently, stealing her breath slowly. She needed to talk to him about what Kiara had said, but she needed this too. She gave in to the kiss, letting his tongue part her lips, her own tongue entering his mouth hungrily. She felt his hand slip to the back of her neck pulling her even closer as the swell inside her chest grew and overflowed resulting in her whimpering into his mouth. The sounds she made pulled a breathy groan from the back of his throat as his lips worked against hers, hot and passionate. She wanted to melt into him, to become nothing but this kiss in this moment, to feel nothing but this love, this warmth, this desire. She pulled lightly away, lips tingling with the absence of his as she ended the kiss before it was too late.

“Drake,” she breathed, and he could tell instantly that something was off, his eyes filling with concern, jaw setting firmly in preparation for whatever she was about to say. “Drake, I...I think Kiara  might know something. Or she might... I don't think we can trust her.” Her voice shook a little as she told him what Kiara had asked her, how she'd not told her anything, but then how the other woman had completely retreated into herself and left the conversation alone once she realized Claire wouldn't play her game. Her forehead wrinkled with worry and he brought his thumbs up to smooth it back out before gripping her face and kissing her again.

“It's okay, baby, you didn't tell her anything. And she was probably just looking for gossip, if I know Kiara.”

Claire wanted to believe that, but something was gnawing at the corners of her mind. She's not on the list. Drake. Liam. Hana. Max. Olivia. Bastien. Kiara was no where near the list, no where near Claire's trust, and she wondered how much of that had to do with the fact that she knew that Drake knew Kiara well. Very well. She pushed those thoughts from her mind, knowing without a doubt that he harbored no feelings at all for Kiara, that Kiara seemed head over heels for Liam and Liam for her, knowing without a doubt that she was completely in love with Drake and he with her. But something still told her that Kiara's questions were more than common curiosity, though she didn't say anything else about it. They waited together, Claire's back pressed against his chest as they sat in the window seat watching the rain. Drake rested his bandaged hand on her bent knee, her thin fingers coming up to twine with the tips of his where they stuck out from the cast, his good hand running gently through her hair and down the side of her neck. They talked about all the things they were looking forward to when the social season was over in ten days, and for just a little while the terror faded away and they were just Drake and Claire, in love and happy, making plans for next month, next year, forever. Bastien's knock on the door interrupted their bubble, and Drake sighed before laying a kiss to her temple and removing himself from behind her to answer the door. She followed closely.

Bastien greeted them with a nod, looking professional as always, but Claire could see something else in his steely gray eyes. He looked tired, but more than that, he had the look of a parent who'd been worrying, though he was trying to hide it. Claire's eyes flicked from Bastien's face to Drake's, and it didn't seem that Drake had noticed anything. She returned her eyes to Bastien's and tried to convey sympathy to him, tried to let him know that she knew this was all taking a toll on him and that she appreciated all he was doing to help them, to support them. She thought she saw a glimmer of recognition pass across his face, his lips twitching almost imperceptibly, but she saw. He cleared his throat and let them know that the security sweeps had all turned up clear, and that they could return to Drake's cabin if they so chose. Claire couldn't think of anywhere else she'd rather be. Bastien also relayed that while the garage attendants were refueling the cars, they noticed a flat tire on Drake's truck, and while they stocked extra tires for the cars used to transport the nobility, they would have to order a tire to fit his truck, which could take a day. “Or, I can have Micah drive you back before he rejoins me for detail,” he offered, and Drake jumped at the chance to get her back home quickly. Bastien nodded and arranged for them to head back to the garage to where Micah would meet them.  Claire felt something nibble at her brain again, but Drake had told Bastien that he'd hit a pothole on the way back from Applewood, shrugging and saying that must have been when the flat happened and he just hadn't noticed. It checked out so Claire tried not to give it a second thought- there was enough going on up there as it was.

Micah stood waiting by a shiny black car, a friendly smile on his face as he greeted Drake and Claire by name, asking Drake about his hand, opening the door for them. He really was a nice kid, like Drake had said, like Bastien had said. There was just something. He wasn't on the list. The ride was quick, Drake giving directions through the open partition, Micah nodding and following, making rights and lefts as instructed. Before long they were back, they were home, and Claire felt another chunk of the last few days fall from her mind as Drake's hand closed around hers and he brought her up the steps and through the front door. Micah pulled away, arranging to drop Drake's truck off as soon as possible, the sound of his tires on the gravel receding as they closed the door behind them. They'd spent the day as normally as possible after that, taking showers, making lunch, making love, sharing kisses and sharing things like what they wanted to be when they were younger. When the sun began to set he'd suggested that they watch it from the porch, bringing a blanket to wrap around themselves.

Four days went by just like this. Just the two of them laughing at the other's bed hair in the morning, dropping lazy kisses to bridges of noses and crests of cheeks, learning the freckles and birthmarks and scars that dotted each other's skin like constellations. He'd fallen further in love with her when one morning he's left her in bed to start making coffee, expecting to find her still curled up beneath the sheets when he returned. Instead she'd gotten up, the red and blue plaid blanket wrapped around her skinny frame, and was inspecting the few framed photos on his shelf, holding one, a smile on her lips and warmth in her eyes. He tilted his head to see which one she was looking at, and his heart skipped and flipped when he realized it was the last family photo he'd had with his father...when his family was still whole. She set the frame back down and turned to face him, the smile still there. “Good morning,” she said, crossing the room to wrap him in the blanket with her.

“Good morning, Adelfi Psychi,” he murmured, burying his lips in her hair and leaving a kiss there. “You found my favorite picture,” he added, his voice dropping just a bit, laced with bittersweet longing.

“It's beautiful,” she sighed. “I'm so glad you have that to hold onto.”

“I'm so glad I have you to hold onto.”

On the sixth day they went out for a hike in the woods, the green canopy filtering the light through the clean air, changing the color of everything around them. These woods seemed enchanted, filled with magic and love and safety. She couldn't imagine anything penetrating this perfect dome of simplicity, and each step through the rooted, muddy, rocky woods, her fingers meshed with his, made her feel more and more sure that this was home, that he was home and this was family. That this was perfect and sure, that there was nothing more certain, and that nothing could shake how she felt when she was with him, in this place. The breeze danced through the branches of the trees and through their hair, and she felt her heart soar at the grin on his face, knowing that he was thinking the same as she was. They found a spot near a stream to sit and relax a while, and it didn't take long at all for her to find her way into his lap, for his lips to be drawn to her neck, her collar bone, sliding her shirt down her shoulder to brush them there as well. Her sweet sighs joined the songs of birds and the bubbling of the stream as it slipped over smooth stones while his tongue slipped and flicked against the hollow of her throat. She tilted her face back towards him, brushing her nose softly against his before leaving a trail of kisses across his cheeks, over his eyelids, finally finding her way back down to his mouth.

Several minutes later, after they'd fallen into one another, breathless and dizzy, they sat still dragging their fingertips over bots of exposed skin, like their fingerprints could memorize each pore, each goosebump. “Drake,” she whispered, not wanting to break the moment, but needing to, as the kiss dissolved and that nagging thing at the back of her mind came back. “Will this really be over when the season ends? All of this...will it really go away? Will we be safe then?”

He sighed, wanting to just jump at a yes, but knowing it wasn't quite that easy to answer. He thought back to what Bastien had told him, about how he needed to keep his priorities in line. His number one priority was sitting right here in his lap, and he knew how he needed to answer. “I don't know, Claire.”

She looked at him sadly, clearly wanting to hear a different answer, but understanding why he hadn't lied to her. She took a deep breath through her nose and let it out slowly, her eyebrows coming together in concern.

“What I do know,” he said, tracing a finger along her jaw and up behind her ear. “Is that I love you, Claire Berkley. And you and I are what I'm focused on. I can't promise you the things I thought I could, I see that now. I can't promise you that nothing bad will happen, or that we'll always be safe. What I can and will promise you, every day of my life,” she softened her gaze as her eyes melted under his, and he kept them on her as he continued, “Is that I will always put us first. I'll always put my love for you first.”

“Every day of my life, too,” she said, her lips already pressed to his half way through her response. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear. It was so much better. It was everything. As the sun started disappearing behind the trees, they made their way back home. Drake carefully lead her around every rock and root, not needing the light, having memorized these woods from the years he’d spent running through them as a child, and then later tromping through as an adult. His feet found the way home and they came around to the front door, but stopped in their tracks at the sight of a plain, unmarked cardboard box sitting on the third step. Claire’s heart started beating so wildly Drake swore he could feel it in his veins, causing his own heart to thump out of control. “Stay here,” He said, squeezing her hand before he walked over to the box. The lid wasn’t quite shut, one flap waving in the breeze. Claire hugged her arms around herself and tried to steady her breathing as he neared the object. He used two fingers to lift the open flap, leaning away until the box was opened. When he looked inside his blood crystalized and he sat on the step, his mouth agape, his hand shaking as it reached in and gripped the hard wooden edges of the picture frame. He pulled it from the box and as soon as Claire saw it she felt a scream inside her lungs that never made it past her lips.

 In his hands he held the photo of Jackson Walker, a tiny Savannah on one knee, a toothless, grinning Drake in the other, and a smiling Bianca looking down on all of them. He slowly turned to face her and the look in his eyes was a mixture of all the things she’d ever seen there, with the addition of one new thing that broke her heart and made her fly to his side: for just a second, and a second too long, she saw a flash of hopelessness, like he knew this wouldn’t end easily, like he knew that he couldn’t keep them safe... like he knew that they weren’t safe. Not at all.