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#we all know I'm much too attached to this blog and i never shut up lol
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I think I'm going to go on a hiatus of sorts for a bit. I'm sure you could all already tell I've been struggling with irl stuff coupled with fluctuations with my writing. Don't worry, it won't be permanent but, I think I need to focus on irl stuff for at least the next week or so. Also, I have been working on my fics for Kinkuary! Which I'm super excited about. That might be when I come back writing wise though since I'm trying to pour all of my energy into those fics. I'll likely still come online but, yeah, things have been really off for me lately and I think I need to put all of my energy into moving for now.
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amysubmits · 8 months
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Hi Amy! I just found your blog and really wanted to talk to you if you've got time but I got nervous so here's an anon. So I'm in my very early twenties and in the last few years have been really interested and taken by the idea of d/s dynamics. I don't have a boyfriend and am not really comfortable signing up to any sites so that's not really the issue. But as I'm going on dates and stuff I do find myself looking for that character that would resemble a dominant guy. I didn't realize it but I am attracted to that energy. What I'm concerned about though is the reason...for that attraction. So I'm in drama school but we can't really afford it so I have 2 part time jobs rn. One is this modeling agency that sometimes gets me by. It doest do much in my country but once a month a few hundred if im lucky, do come in handy. The issue is that the people I'm around and the environment is very toxic. Not just in a photoshoot but mainly. I've had to shut my mouth and smile and "submit" to guys just to remain part of the project. I don't feel comfortable doing more provocative stuff so that's been an issue and my manager keeps pressuring me about it at every opportunity. The relationship w him is weird he's a nice guy in general but sometimes he's too pushy. I also had a bf in the past (the only one) we were together briefly but he ordered me around a lot, and we never talked ab any of this but he was very strict with what I wore ect. What I'm trying to say is, I've had very traumatic experiences w all these people and am really worried whether the dynamic between us pushed me to want it? Like if my desires are somehow influenced by my trauma? Have you had similar concerns? How did you realize this is what you wanted and that it is not a response to something? I hope you're comfortable answering, but if not thank you for what you're doing your page has been really informative and I've learnt a lot xxxxx
Hi there!
I would be happy for you to message me if you decide you feel comfortable at any point, but anons are okay too! It's a big part of why I leave them on, for people who feel comfortable sending asks but not asking questions or whatever on DM. :)
This worry you're sharing about wondering if your desire to be a sub or be submissive comes from your trauma is something that I think a ton of subs have considered or worried about at some point. You'll definitely get a different answer to these questions if you ask other people. In my view, this is one of those areas where the 'right' answer can vary from person to person. So, this is just my take of course.
I am trying to avoid writing an extremely long post, so if you want or need me to elaborate feel free to follow up. But in a nutshell...I think most people have "little t trauma" from childhood that caused them to adapt to try to find connection and feel safe (physically or emotionally) and loved from a SUPER young age, to the point where it's challenging to know what it even would mean for a lot of us to say X is me, but Y is my trauma. Like 50% of the population has an insecure attachment style, and that primarily develops in the first year of our lives. So then we're still babies but we're already trying to change our own behavior to feel connected to our mother or our primary care giver. When that's the case...I think it's really, really tough to know who or what you would have been without the trauma as it's baked into your personality and coping methods SO early that we can't remember anything else. And so...I guess my goal has been to try to do a combination of accepting myself while also looking as honestly as I can at who/how I am now and look to change anything that I want to change or think needs improved. And with that in mind...I couldn't begin to tell you if I'd be a sub sexually or personality wise if I didn't have trauma. I just think that's an impossible question to try to figure out. Instead, I try to look at whether what I crave is healthy. If what I want to do is healthy for me, then it's okay if it IS based in trauma. I mean, plenty of things can be caused by trauma but still be really good things. For example, I feel pretty confident that the reason I seek healthy, safe feeling communication with my partner is because I grew up with lots of yelling and conflict and meanness. But I think that desire to have healthy, loving, safe communication is a good thing so I don't feel the need to reject that desire I have, as it's good, regardless of the cause being 'negative' or sad. I've come to the conclusion that D/s and BDSM can be healthy things for me. That isn't to say that I think I could do anything I wanted and call it D/s or BDSM and have it be healthy. But I think that a lot of what I desire sexually and within my relationship is healthy, and I embrace those things. And when I find myself craving something that is less healthy, I try to avoid embracing those ideas, or avoid acting out those fantasies, or resist those behaviors. For me, one thing I have to fight against is the instinct to be extremely passive. Passive feels safe to me because of my trauma, and I can sometimes incorrectly convince myself that I am being a good sub by being passive. That isn't always true, so I have to really keep an eye on any passivity and make sure that I am truly submitting from a place of desire and choice, and not from a place of it 'feeling good' because my brain is telling me that inactivity to appease others is safe and familiar. We try to regularly re-look at the things we do and ask ourselves again if all the details of how we're managing our D/s and BDSM are healthy for both of us. We try to ask if we're reinforcing healthy ideas or unhealthy ideas. Sometimes it changes over time and we have to adjust.
With you being new and young, I'd also suggest that you try to be extremely careful with what you learn about D/s and BDSM, and triple check that it's healthy. Some people will claim that literally anything done in the name of kink is healthy as long as it's consensual. I think that is a really wild viewpoint, personally. I think consent is really the absolute bare minimum, but a lot of people will consent to things that are harmful to them emotionally, and I think that is unhealthy. Of course, what is unhealthy is extremely opinion based, and I think it also can vary a lot from person to person...something could be unhealthy for me to consent to but perfectly healthy for you to consent to if we have different life experiences, different traumas, etc. At a really basic level I'd suggest looking really closely at whether D/s and BDSM make you feel good in terms of things like...confident, loved, empowered, authentic, loved, safe, secure, etc - or if it feels outright bad, or 'good' but only in the sense that feeling bad feels somewhat good to you (this is true for some with trauma), or if it makes you feel small, inferior, used, scared, insecure, etc. And then also if/when you get into a D/s relationship look at whether the things you try seem to be inspiring positive changes and growth, or negative patterns. Maybe at first you happily agree to let your dom decide whether or when to cut your hair, but over time you realize that you feel less 'yourself' when you can't control your own hairstyle fully. If that becomes the case, then in my opinion, it would be healthier to go back to deciding your own hair.
Sorry this is so long. I hope it's helpful in some way. Good luck to you, please continue to look out for yourself! It can be a scary world out there for young subs. It sounds like you're doing a good job of trying to look out for yourself though...even in wanting to figure out what your answer to the questions you sent in this ask are. So, good work. :)
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yanderelovlies · 2 years
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Hi I'm new here and I wanted to say hello and nice blog first and foremost secondly I was wondering if you can make up a scenario of Jack/Joseph and Shaun with a thick s/o that is insecure about themselves during Valentine's day ( you can make if fluff or something or you can choose to ignore it. Thank you for your time and again I like your blog 💜I suck at typing)
I'm gonna do all three because I love them so much
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Sunny Day Jack
🔪THIS FIC IS 18+ AGELESS AND BLANK BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED 🔪
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It was first Valentines day with Jack so you wanted to make it something special. It wasn't easy due to him being attached to your hip, but you were able to find cute light blue baby doll lingerie.
When you first saw yourself in the mirror you were quiet happy with how it looked on you it made you feel sexy. However, the longer you looked at yourself the more you saw "flaws".
The more you focused on your appearance in the mirror the less aware you were of your surroundings. So you nearly punched Jack we his arms wound themselves around you. You looked up at him in the mirror to be met with a hungry look in his eyes.
"God sunshine...you look fantastic." He squeezed you body before his hands began to wonder.
You wanted to push against him, but it was hard when his felt touch felt so warm and inviting. As one hand began to wonder down caressing and squeezing you body his other hand traveled up to your chest finding you nipple.
He began kissing and leaving marks on your neck before pulling away his hungry eyes meeting you desperate one.
"Allow me to show you how beautiful you really are sunshine.."
"P-please jack....." that was all he needed to hear.
Joseph
You would never tell him, but sometimes it was hard being his lover. Not because he was bad man but because he seemed to always be surrounded by such pretty women. They were thinner,prettier, and obviously family oriented.
Now that Valentines day was here you wanted to prove to him and yourself that you were just as pretty as those women, and just as worthy to sit at his side.
Little did you know Joseph thought you were too good for him. He did care for the women who swarmed after every show. They didn't know him like you did. They wouldn't accept him like you did. You are his everything, and since it's Valentines day he wants to show you how much he adores you.
Which cause the current confusion between you two. As he walked into the apartment, about to inform you to get to go out when sees you there sitting so pretty on the table chair in nothing.
"Hey doll I ne-......holy shit..."
That man has never shut, locked, and dropped his things quicker then he has now just to get to you. As soon as he reached you his lips met yours as his hands roamed to wherever he touch.
"Fuck doll....look at you...being so ready for me when I get home....looking so gorgeous."
"Joseph....I wanna have a family with you...please." He pulled away to look at his he was completely frozen.
"A-are you sure...?
"Please...!" You didn't need to say more as he picked you up throwing you over his shoulder. Finally he can have the family he always wanted with the love his life.
Shaun
Despite how long he was gone due to his work he always made you feel loved and secure in your relationship. That didn't stop you from missing him.
He told last week he was gonna be on Valentines day for a couple days (he made sure to take the day off). So you decided to do something for him. However while you were putting on the outfit you KNOWS he loves you notice everything didn't fit like it was suppose to.
The collar was a little tight along the rest of the outfit. You had gain weight since the last time you put that on, and it disheartened you. You tried to pull at the garments hoping to stretch out the materials.
Just when you were about give up you hear the thump of things falling causing you to look at the doorway. There stood your boyfriend eyes wide, mouth open, and his face red.
The two of you stared at each other like a kid getting caught doing something you weren't suppose to giving Shaun time to collect himself. Once he did you could see the lust in his eyes as he smirked looking you up and down.
"A present? Just for my kitten?" He walks over to you his hands immediately me attaching themselves to you as he began caressing and fondling what he could touch.
Though his fevered touches calmed down a bit as he got a better look at you. You seemed uncomfortable in the outsit that seemed to cling more then he remembered.
Though he thinks it's sexy how it clings to you showing everything. He had feeling you didn't feel the same. His gave softened as his hands went up to your face cupping it lovingly
"You look absolutely gorgeous kitten...." He gave you deep loving kiss before pulling away "I want to worship you and show you how beautiful you are to me..."
All you could was nod you need that reminder sometimes.
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omi-nor · 1 year
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Rules and brief about!
Welcome! This is a rp blog for ygo characters. Probably going to just stick with mostly Yami Bakura right now. But I might add others later.
Here are some general things you should know:
- I am very new to rp still. And still not super familiar with Tumblr. Still a lot of things I don't know or have never done before, so please keep this in mind
- It almost feels like my first time ever encountering ygo.
I've just picked up the manga for the 1st time about three days ago too.
- I am an adult and would prefer characters and muns to be 18+. No nsfw stuff with minors
- I really do try to read and remember everyone's rules, but sometimes I forget my own rules, so please forgive me if I forget something
- On that note, I am pretty forgetful, in general. I try to jot down notes to help with this, but there is a chance I may forget an ic interaction
- Try to give me about a week before giving me a reminder, though.
- I am VEEERY slow a lot of the time. Like, many days, maybe a week, slow. Sometimes more than a week. Not always, but just giving you a heads up.
- I try not to spam notifs or dash, but, it might happen, occasionally. I will always reblog from the source, unless the mun has made it explicitly clear that they actually prefer it be from them or don't care either way or, for some reason, I can't get to the source.
- I am kind of the exact opposite of most people, it seems. I actually would LOVE it if you went on a like spree. And I actually prefer it if you reblogged memes from me (as long as we have spoken at least once). And dash spam almost never bothers me. You can also come into my ims, that doesn't really bother me either.
- I'm not the best at # tagging stuff. I haven't really got a system going yet
- I follow #omi-nor and #ominor, but I don't look at tags very often
- Please don't be afraid to @ me for dash games, lmao. I usually love those. May not always do them, but yeah.
- I am a very heavy cell phone user, but, so far, I don't think I've run into trouble because of this. Trimming is the only big thing I have doubts about still right now.
- Rules could change. I tried my best to give some solid info here, but it could change. I'll probably make a post if there is a change?
(I really hope I'm not forgetting something because I am writing this from memory.)
- I am pretty anxious about stuff. I'm trying not to be, but it's hard.
Like, sometimes I look at a meme and there's a part of me that wants to do it, but there's also a little pang of anxiety a lot of the time. Lol, I dunno, man..
- I may not answer every ask or do everything thing. And I'm trying to get better at sometimes saying no to things. But I don't want people to get discouraged about interacting, either, lol.
I also try not to pressure other people and a lot of stuff coming from me doesn't have a whole lot of expectation attached to it. (Like, if I @ you in a dash game, for example)
- One important thing about communication: I always feel like I'm in a tug of war of trying not to talk too much to people because I'm worried I'm bothering them just a bit and then realizing I may not be talking enough, so I'm basically a stranger to them.
- "Plot something out" kinda scares me a bit, cause all the rp I've ever done - I think - was just off the cuff. Maybe it's not as scary as it sounds and maybe I've technically already plotted without knowing it. But yeah.
- I might need to take 2 or 3 weeks off from time to time. Just giving you a heads up. I'll try to say something.
- Going by Rainy for mun name. It just kinda stuck, lol.
- It's very easy for me to feel a bit overwhelmed. A part of me hates to do this, but I may need to temporarily shut down my ask box and not accept @s or #s for a bit if I feel like I have too much to do. I may need to make a very short ooc post just to let people know?
- I'm going to say, yes, all my memes have no expiration date, though.
- On a similar note, I think it's very possible I will go through your posts and send in stuff from a very long while back, in some cases. I usually assume there is no expiration date for other people's memes, but I usually try to ask first. But if there is, please feel free to ignore.
- I may or may not use icons
- If I see a reply to a thread and I am super tired, I won't read it until I've slept long enough for me to feel better (which could be a long time). I feel like being tired while reading really distorts things, so I like to only read it after I've gotten some sleep.
Honestly, the same is usually true for even ooc conversation. I just don't do well when I'm sleep deprived and sometimes I will just pass out for, like, 12 hours. (I LOVE it when this happens, though. I feel great afterwards.)
***ABOUT YAMI BAKURA***
My Yami Bakura is, right now, based off of anime English dub canon, for the most part. But now that I have the manga, it might slowly start to change a bit. Not sure.
I kinda wanted to try Ryo, but I haven't found Ryo in the English dub to be very inspiring, so far. A lot of his screen time was him just kinda flatly explaining the duels. Poor Ryo. You see glimpses of an actual character, at times, but it's rough, man.
I was debating keeping Ryo or not, but just to avoid confusion, I'm gonna wait to see what the manga has to offer.
Can I lastly just say? I really like the ygo rpc so far.
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alyszaen · 1 year
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NVM I’LL JUST SEND THIS AND NOT BE A PUSSY HIDING BEHIND SMALL TALK!!!!!!! i’m going to keep this short cuz i talk too much and i’ll send more messages later maybe but i hope this gets my point across for now YOLO!!!!!
thank you for your dms aly :(((( i’m really bad at talking to people and i don’t like getting to know anyone anymore cuz there’s so much pain that usually leads to BUT AS SOON AS I SAW YOUR BLOG I WANTED TO BE YOUR FRIEND!!!!! YOU’RE UNREASONABLY COOL AND FUNNY AND YOUR ENERGY IS!!!!!!!! IDK!!!!!!! you scare me cuz of how awesome you are :((( THAT’S A JOKE KIND OF YOU’RE NOT SCARY BUT I AM AWESTRUCK BY YOU!!!!!
you’re someone brave who isn’t afraid to be themself and that’s a power that escapes most of us. being myself is hard and it’s terrifying but you make me unafraid and happy!!!!!! i want to be myself and prove i’m someone worthy of being your friend!!!!! i hope we can become really good friends? - 🐿️
EXACTLY NO PUSSY SMALLTALK SHIT YOU SLAY I SLAY WE ALL SLAY
Also please talk more omg I'm a SUCKER for long messages you have no idea! Like genuinely I talk too much as well and so I stan people not shutting up. like yes babe never shut up ever again. Talk to me about everything. I want all the words. gimme
okay okay getting serious tho
Ahhh trust me on that - I feel that. I've had more friends betray and hurt me than I can count. As much as I have a high level of instant trust that I give out (faster than others, too), I also never give that last bit of trust to anyone. For what it's worth I get attached too fast and am already like madly in love with all of you fuckers!! And honestly even if you don't respond to my dms i will SPAM you until you do. If it takes weeks it takes weeks I have too much time on my hands anyways lmao
PLS I AM NOT COOL the other day I was rewatching pirates of the carribian and the amazing kiss scene finally came on. Unfortunately I was in the kitchen grabbing water. I KNEW the scene was coming. So I RAN to my desk with a higher speed than the flash himself and then i fell...on my ass...it hurt...i missed the scene too because i fell. My friends laughed at me. Only cool I am is a person in need of a cool fan in the summer
Oh believe me, I am absolutely scared to bits to be myself. I was bullied and had so many experiences that told me not to be. And as you probably saw an hour ago that shit gets to me sometimes. BUT at the end of the day being yourself is too fun not to be. Why would I be someone else when I'm clearly already awesome omg JK
You're already my friend and obv you're absolutely worthy of that wtf??? Just respond to my dms and you'll slay even more 🙄✋🏻 jk take all the time you need
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wanderingrain · 2 years
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Blogging through Till the World Ends Episode 3
Every time they show me a wide shot of this apartment I can't help but think about TharnType. I'm sorry.
Ew what are the hets doing here? Also where is this gang holed up that they're still here?
Lol not them arguing over who gets to kill Art.
No it's 4am and the way I just screeched!! The fake blood! Golf just killed a man with a lichen knife. Why are you dropping the knife? Did Art just kill bubblegum girl? They've both gone feral!
At least Golf seems to be traumatized after killing someone now cause I thought for a minute we were gonna breeze right past that.
Major props to Art's actor for just straight up sobbing like that.
Once again Golf showing his obsessive tendencies. He's known this boy for three days and is unhealthily attached. I would normally wave it off as "just one of those tv show things" but they said he only knew his girlfriend for a week and was overpossessive of her too. Seems like a pattern to me.
I hope you're gonna turn more lights on before you try and stitch him up.
Nope we're doing this in the semi-dark.
Art's face I can't
Babes you can barely handle him touching the wound with a cotton ball and you're asking him to sew it up? You know you're gonna need to hold still for that right? Maybe we should break out the drinking alcohol.
Wow i really don't need these sound effects thanks.
Oh good it's over.
Wait shower? After you just got stitches? Wait.
Wow this bed is huge.
Golf already looks so in love. I love how Art is clutching the blanket to his chest lol
ugh I'm so soft for hand holding. I love how quietly they're talking. I love how the camera doesn't want to focus on them lol
Babes this is the second time he's called you cute actually.
The way Art looks so scandalized from being called cute!
Oh so it's more than just a 2 person pattern.
I love that Art is just casually playing with Golf's fingers as they talk. We need more casual touches like this where the touch isn't the focal point of the scene.
Not the instrumental Christmas music again! Why Thailand why?
The way Art's hand is fully resting over Golf's now while he's trying to comfort him. The way they didn't make a big deal about it and they're just allowed to touch each other casually.
Both of these boys are good actors. The emotion, the body language. Good job boys.
I'm not sure I believe Art would really leave the apartment again after what just happened but I'm willing to suspend my disbelief.
🤣🤣🤣 Not Bubblegum gang girl still laying on the ground! Guess she's alive then. Didn't expect to be getting her pov.
Shut up Art! Do you want to alert Bubblegum to your presence? If you get taken hostage by the same girl twice in 24 hours I swear...
Ohhh is he about to remember? Nope nevermind.
Oh good Bubblegum's got his wallet.
Breakfast on the- why would you leave the apartment? How do you know the roof is safe? Ya'll literally almost died less than 12 hours ago in this apartment complex and now you want to go up to the roof?! Are you inane?
WOAH OK that's a lot
Anybody else feel weird about bubblegum touching him when he's still all sweaty from sex?
Is he not a new recruit after all? Then why were they trying to pressure him into killing someone in the beginning?
Honestly this gang doesn't scare me so I don't really feel much about them having Golf's picture. Lol.
If Golf and Art would just stay locked up in the apartment the gang would probably never find them unless they went door to door kicking in doors. So I'm sure some sort of shenanigans will ensue to make sure our main characters are dumb enough to expose themselves. I'm betting that Art remembers what happened and tries to run away for the third time and gets caught by bubblegum and she uses him to lure Golf out.
I still think one of the gang members is probably Art's brother because that's usually how these things work. Or maybe Golf's brother has something to do with the gang. Either way I'm sure they'll be saved by some kind of brotherly intervention.
On to episode 4
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September 2nd, 2024 - Favourites
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I had a sad day. But instead of doing the same old entry about that, I decided to do something different.
Yesterday I checked my drafts and noticed that I never finished my top 5 things.
So... here it is. My favourite things. Because why not.
Singers/Vocalists
Hope Sandoval. Ex-vocalist of Mazzy Star and current one for Hope Sandoval & The Warm Inventions. I really cannot explain why I love this woman so much. I listen to her music all day, every day, and I never get tired of it. I'm completely in love with her voice, her harmonica, and her whole vibe. She's just so AAAAAAHHHHH.
Victoria Legrand. Vocalist of Beach House. I hate a thing for very emotional singers/bands. Sometimes she sings like she's on the verge of tears, and UGH I love it. I feel her. Oh God. And she's so beautiful, to??? Now everytime I see a redhead with wavy hair I think it's her.
Björk. I don't wanna hear anyone say a single negative thing about this woman's work (Kate Bush reference?). She's a genius. Like, I totally get it. Yes, queen. Totally. I don't know, I just think she's very creative.
MARINA. Formerly known as Marina and The Diamonds. She was my favourite singer for a long time. I still love her songs, but now it's mostly emotional attachment. She's like my second mother, she gets me.
Gustavo Cerati. Ex-vocalist of Soda Stereo (RIP). I love blasting his discography when I go on car rides with my mother. I mostly listen to him there, not a lot during my daily life. He's still really cool.
Tumblr blogs
Most of these are just aesthetic blogs. That's what I mostly see and search for on Tumblr. Aesthetically pleasing displays of images.
whimsigothic
cheezitofthevalley (this one is actually for blog and web resources)
ultraviolencesaints
carm3n-carm3n
stainedglassjam
Honourable mention: Yours! Even though you don't post anything. I like its existence.
Food
YOU shut up about my pasta with meat sauce. SHHHHH. Zip it.
Rice. Specifically my beloved simplified risotto. I have a borderline unhealthy obsession with that meal, I could eat it every day if that wasn't so bad for my body.
Noodles. Usually with cream and tuna (I swear it's delicious). Or I could use garlic and parsley. Or just some piece of beef. I don't care, it's pasta, and I love it.
Cheese. It elevates ANY meal. Seriously. It has to be the best invention in the world. So what if I get health problems because I eat too much cheese? It'd be worth it.
Tomatoes. I worship tomatoes. The best fruit in the world. You probably don't wanna see me eating one when I crave it.
Beef. My favourite type of meat. The others are fine, but there's just something about cows. I love it. And if there's no beef, pork is okay, too.
Imagine a combination of all those... Dream meal.
Since when are someone's favourite foods completely healthy?
School subjects
Philosophy. It completely drains my brain in under an hour. But when I finally understand everything, I feel some kind of epiphany. Pure euphoria. Also, I somehow do really well in it. And I love my teacher!
History. I like reading about the stupid mistakes that old men made in yhe past centuries to fill the void in their souls with money, power, and glory 😍 (Lana Del Rey reference).
Literature. I hate those activities we do after reading a story or a novel, but the reading itself is very nice. I don't understand why most or even all of my classmates hate it.
Math. I don't know why. I like solving exercises sometimes. Only when I understand it. If not, it's absolute torture.
Physics. The same reason as in Math, but this one is a bit worse. I don't know how to explain it.
Instagram accounts
sotce. Including her other accounts sweetrelease08, and flower808080808. I don't understand a single thing of what she posts, and at the same time I fully get it. I feel seen. I don't know how to explain it. I don't even remember how I found her lol
ihatekatebush. They're just so cool. They're the reason why I downloaded Substack and I gotta thank them for that. Love ya, beautiful soul. I know you won't read this ever.
takatoy999. My actual favourite artist. Completely in love with his work. It's perfect.
mako_vice. One of my favourite artists. MAYBE my own drawings are a bit inspired by theirs. I just wish I could afford their merch.
odilepauline. What a woman, oh my god. She's beautiful, interesting, simply perfect. I uses to be more active in the comments but then I got shy lol
Honourable mention: Girlbloggers. Specifically:
atelierlaurenjane
brokenlipstickgirl
clownluvrr
girlblogger2008
luckydaygirl
pinkmotel444
unbalancedfemme
I'm not ashamed to say that I fucking love these girls.
Two quick ones now.
Decades
90s
2000s
80s
60s
70s
Nail combos
Just straight up black. A classic.
Aqua and red (middle and ring fingers). Yeah, that's exactly why.
Green and black (middle finger and thumb). So brat. So Julia.
Black and light blue (with blue sparkles). For some reason it's really "Among My Swan" by Mazzy Star.
Black with blue and hot pink. TV Girl reference.
I'm not talking about my favourite albums because I wouldn't finish this ever.
AND THAT'S IT. It took me longer than I expected. But I had fun anyway.
Now I'm gonna do my Religion homework at the last minute. Just like I said yesterday lol
Rest well.
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kirieshhhka003 · 3 years
Note
(First, I'm French and my English is terrible, so let me know if you don't understand something).Hi darling, I've read your blog for a long time, but it's the first time I've placed an order. Can you call me Venus if you like? Anyway, I've been thinking about Josuke declaring himself to his S/O who studies in the same class as him. I keep thinking about him screaming "I love you" and running away. Would you have any headcanons about it?
Hi Venus! Thank you for your request, my lovely
Pairing: Josuke Higashikata x GN! Reader
Warnings: language
Josuke confessing his feelings to reader headcanons + scenario
This is the first time ever Josuke feels this kind of attachment to someone, and honestly, it annoys him so freaking much. He hates the way his breath hitches when you smile at him, asking how he’s been. Hates how he spends all day staring at you and then gets a detention for not listening properly to the teacher
We all daydream before falling asleep and Josuke is not an exemption, he loves making fake scenarios in his head about him becoming a fashion model or Tomoko getting him a dog etc. But once brunette catches himself on the thought of him spending time with Y/n. It’s not only hanging out together, but something way more… pleasant and romantic. That time Josuke realized that he fell in love
Realization of falling for someone really disquiets poor boy, he doesn’t know how to act around Y/n! They’ve been friends since first day of high school, and if Josuke tries to ignore or avoid them it definitely will hurt them deeply! But what if Y/n notice how strange he acts around them? They’d immediately understand what’s going on, and Higashikata doesn’t want to ruin their friendship!
Josuke is a pro at procrastination and avoiding important conversations. After months of beating around the bush, trying to find a proper way and excuse to approach you, boy just decides to let it be, not making any attempts to confess
The main reason for Higashikata’s inaction is of course doubt. A shit ton of doubt. What if Y/n doesn’t feel the same way about Josuke and want everything to stay the same between them? What if they reject Josuke’s feelings and won’t even want staying friends with brunette anymore? What if they actually secretly hate him and keep on being friends with Josuke just because of congenital politeness? All those thoughts gnaw poor diamond boy, he can’t even sleep properly at night. Few weeks later it’s impossible not to notice dark bags under brunette’s eyes, and even layers of Tomoko’s concealer don’t help hiding them
One day Okuyasu gets sick of his bro always keeping his head in a clouds and suffering from insomnia. “Listen dude. Either you go and confess to Y/n, or I’m doing it myself! Even I got tired of this shit”. Josuke freezes at Nijimura’s words, the image of his best friend coming to Y/n and saying something like “Hey, my bro Josuke wants to kiss you and stuff, so go and finally do something with it” makes goosebumps rise on his skin, so Higashikata jumps off his seat yelling “Okay okay I’ll do it myself, just shut up!!!”
The next day brunette catches you up in the hall at the end of school day, asking you to stay for a little bit longer because he has something to talk to you about
- Oh, Josuke! Did something happen? You need help? - you ask, looking up at your classmate intently, your eyes full of confusion, but also interest
Boy rises his hands up, shaking his head carefully, so he won’t damage his precious pompadour, letting you know that he’s fully fine
- Ughhh, no, there’s nothing to worry about, - brunette smiles shyly, scratching the back of his neck nervously. - I just… gotta tell you something real quick, - Josuke says and you notice how red tips of Josuke’s ears are
- Oh, what is that? - you inquire, patiently waiting for your classmate to answer. You’re caught off guard, to say the least. You’ve been friends with Higashikata since first day of high school and you’ve never seen him acting so anxious before
Josuke feels his heart racing wild, trying to tear through the rib cage, and boy swallows a thick lump in his throat, worrying if you can hear this sound too. Higashikata closes his eyes, inhaling deeply, making a vain attempt to calm down
- I like you very much! - Josuke blurts out, looking down, staring on his shoes, desperately avoiding eye contact with you
Thick silence settles between you two, you look at Josuke, now completely baffled
- Um, I like you too? - you answer a few seconds later, shrugging your shoulders. You notice how Josuke lowers his shoulders a little and only now you start realizing what exactly Higashikata meant
- No, like, I like you way more than just “like”… I mean… goddamn, - Josuke prattle, his thoughts scatter and it looks like all the right words run away from him, not leaving brunette even a single chance to explain himself. He shuts himself down for a few seconds, taking a deep breath and pulling himself together before saying:
- Look, I like you. Not like a friend. I wanna hold hands with you, go out for dates and stuff. Sooo, what would you say? - Josuke finally finds the strength to look you in the eyes, his fingers fiddling nervously with the sleeves of his jacket as he waits patiently for your answer
Josuke’s heart twist into a tight knot and boy almost forgets how to breath as he looks into your deep e/c eyes
So, what is your answer?
Masterlist | Smut Masterlist
249 notes · View notes
liyuesbian · 3 years
Text
✧ 101 dalmatians!au [ayaka]
notes: ........this is actually an updated (not rly) version of my 101 dalmatians!au with seulgi on my kpop gg writing blog..... sorryyyy i'm not being lazy i promise!! i've just got back from holiday and am working on a ningguang x reader but it might take a while (i rly wanna perfect it) so this is a placeholder for now :p
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you would occasionally spot kamisato ayaka in the park walking her dalmatian. she's well-known around the local area because of her older brother: the mayor of the city. in fact, you also have a dog of the same breed, which is what drew you to her in the first place—minus her eye-catchingly extravagant outfits and cute facial features.
your own dalmatian is wonderful. when you were ten years old, your christmas wish was to get a puppy. much to your younger self’s disappointment, santa claus had gifted you with a rather large—and older—"puppy" than you had imagined in your head. nevertheless, you treated the newly named pongo with as much love as you could give him.
fast forward about ten years later and here is the same pongo eagerly trying to gain your attention as you sit in front of your piano. you’re thinking of how best to go about composing the last few bars of a song you’re working on.
unbeknownst to you, the dalmatian had sneakily altered the time of the clock and is now motioning to the door, howling. you double-check the time on your wristwatch but despite the inconsistency, you decide to go for the daily walk and attach a leash to his collar. it seems like you have no other choice: pongo has your hat between his teeth and is scratching at the door handle. you laugh as you give in to your dog’s contagious enthusiasm, taking your fedora from his mouth.
with the leash in one hand and a ball in the other, you are manhandled—or should i say doghandled—as pongo drags you all the way to the park. he appears to be looking for something, but you dismiss it. you attempt to undo the clasp of the leash, failing when pongo suddenly dashes off.
“slow down, pongo!” you yelp. this kind of high-energy behaviour isn’t new to you but it certainly catches you off-guard. in the end, you let your dog indulge himself in his antics and you’re led to the edge of the lake where you take a seat and gasp for breath. goodness, you don’t think you’ve ever done so much running in your life.
exhausted, you fan yourself with your fedora and loosen the top button on your dress shirt. the grass underneath you feels nice to rest on compared to the wooden chair you’d been sitting on for the whole morning.
it takes you a second to notice your companion gazing at a certain animal behind you. turning around, you recognise the dalmatian who’s seized pongo’s eyes from her pink collar and apprehensively look up to the owner. she’s perched on a bench next to the dog with her signature fan and a book in her hands. in shock, you jerk your head forward and blink a few times.
should we move somewhere else?
as if sensing your uneasiness, pongo barks and jumps to grab your hat. you sigh but grin at his mischievous face.
“come on, pongo. give it back.” taking her eyes off the pages of her book, ayaka glances at you and your dog, the ends of her mouth curving up ever so slightly to form a smile which stays hidden behind the upright fan. you throw the ball lightly in an attempt to get him to drop your hat.
it doesn't quite work and instead, rolls in the direction of the occupied bench. perdita, ayaka's dalmatian, glimpses at it, trying to withhold the urge to play with the bouncy toy. ayaka chuckles which causes you to cease your glaring at pongo to face her. the ringing of her laugh is pleasant and something you haven’t noticed before.
if only i could hear it every day. gently, you hit your cheeks to awaken yourself from your thoughts.
pongo is now frolicking in circles with the captured hat, vying for the attention of ayaka's dog. while you’re battling a two-way argument in your head and one with your dalmatian, you feel a soft nudge on your thigh. perdita has given you the ball back, and you could hear pongo whimpering sadly. impressed, you pet perdita who reacts with a delightful pant. the female dalmatian glances at pongo and apathetically walks back to her owner, who attaches a leash. they start to walk away.
pongo yaps in surprise. quickly, he abandons your hat and is about to take off when you tell him to stay, which he does obediently. you could tell your dog is planning to go after perdita, but you don’t want him running around aimlessly so you fasten his leash.
as soon as you do though, you’re being hauled once again towards kamisato ayaka. the hyperactive dalmatian follows the blue-haired woman and playfully circles her, earning a giggle from the subject of interest. unfortunately for the both of you, your legs have gotten tied to hers.
“oh my, i'm very sorry about this!” you blush. of course, you’ve never been in such close quarters with her before making it all the more embarrassing but you don’t entirely regret this moment either… until you realise that with the both of you frantically trying to get out of the awkward position and your dog pulling at the leash, the result would be all three of you tethering on the edge of the lake and perdita helplessly grabbing onto her owner to prevent the fall.
“oh no.” a splash is heard throughout the park.
clothes damp, you sit in the shallow water in cold shock, finding yourself no longer tangled around the dog leash. next to you, ayaka stands up to try searching for her hat and fan which pongo finds and gives to you with an almost apologetic expression.
“it seems i've lost my belongings,” she says worriedly.
“don’t worry, i have the things you're looking for right here.” you hand her her possessions and fix her hair but to no avail.
“ah, thank you.” you brush her wet bangs to the side so she could see.
“i'm truly very sorry! i don’t know how we ended up in the lake of all things.” you apologise profusely to the bewildered lady and attempt to make things better by removing the plants from her clothes. meanwhile, pongo has shaken himself dry and is relaxing next to perdita.
gosh, what kind of situation have i gotten myself into?
“no, it’s alright, i'll just dry myself off for now.” you see ayaka fetching a… soaked handkerchief from her purse.
“hold on, i usually carry one in my pocket.” however, yours too, is also drenched. “oh—"
ayaka begins to giggle. dumbfounded, you laugh with her. both of your dogs glance at each other and back at the pair of you, cocking their heads. you thought the pleasant sound and amicable smile were the only things about her laughter that could make your heart swell but now, with ayaka right in front of you, you notice things you would’ve never been able to before. you witness how her eyes crinkle and close shut and how her cheeks balloon revealing an even more charming side to her. you wonder what it would be like if you could make her this happy all the time.
after helping ayaka out of the pond, you feel it wouldn’t be right to leave her to go home all doused in water.
“would it be possible to invite you to our house? we live close by so it would be no trouble at all if you want to dry off there. it would probably be very uncomfortable to journey home in this state and i can't bear to watch you attempt to.” shyly, you meet her eyes after your impromptu offer to see ayaka grinning.
“i think i'd like to accept that offer. i suppose it is your fault too!” she quips and jokingly nudges your shoulder.
you smile back and turn to face your dalmatian who you will whisper many thank yous to later in life.
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88 notes · View notes
221bshrlocked · 3 years
Text
One Too Many
Pairing: Marcus Pike x Fem!Reader
Words: 1541
Warnings: Drinking. Awkward confessions. Spiraling thoughts. Cuddling.
Summary: Perhaps that last drink was one too many...
A/N: For @autumnleaves1991-blog Writer Wednesday Picture Prompt. I feel like I might just turn these prompts into little Pike oneshots. Sorry this was late I'm not myself lately for some reason. Let me know how I’m doing in the comments please and thank you. Add yourself to the taglist here.
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"Are you kidding me?" You throw your cards on the table and relax back into the couch, taking a long sip from the beer can in front of you before standing up and pulling off your tank top. You shake your head as you add it on top of the pile of clothes you've been losing for the past couple of turns.
"Guess I underestimated you Pike," you lay back again and tilt your head to the side to rest it on the pillow behind you, watching as Marcus does everything in his power to avoid looking at your exposed skin.
"And I thought you'd be better at this," he replies as he mirrors you and shugs down the rest of his drink, all the while refusing to acknowledge how almost naked you are.
"Go on then, deal." You point at the cards as you lean forward again and push the beer cans aside.
"Maybe we should stop..." He collects the cards and sets them on the side of the table, barely meeting your eyes for a few seconds before he feigns checking his phone.
"What? You're not getting shy on me now, are you Pike?" You smile when he blushes underneath your scrutiny and huffs in irritation.
"N-no, we just had too many drinks, and I...and you look cold so-"
"I'm sitting in front of you in nothing but my bra and panties, and you're worried about me being cold? God, who are you?" You stand up and make your way to the fridge to bring out some more beer.
"No no, that's enough for you." Marcus runs behind you immediately and shuts the door to the fridge before filling up a glass of water and handing it to you.
"Wha-"
"Drink the damn water...please," Marcus whispers, and you frown at him as you drink the cold liquid. Marcus can't look away from the way your throat bobs up and down as you drink, and he almost moans when a few drops of water escape the corner of your mouth and roll down your neck. When you put the glass back on the counter and turn to him, you find the blush from earlier much darker. As you follow his line of sight, you smile to yourself and raise an eyebrow at his shameless staring.
"See something you like, Agent?" You tease him and try not to giggle when he drags his eyes away from you and apologizes for making you uncomfortable.
"You didn't make me uncomfortable. You never do. It's why I like you so goddamn much actually. You're always so kind to everyone, even when they don't deserve it. And you're really good at your job, and you make sure everyone knows how much you rely on them to do theirs even though you probably don't need any of us because you're smart and- and...ugh, now I probably made you uncomfortable. I- I can't help it, I'm sorry. You're just so perfect. Perfect and sweet and- and pretty."
Marcus doesn't know what to do other than stand still as you continue to lean into him. His breath hitches when he feels the palms of your hands on his cheeks, and he feels bad for not shaving earlier because the last thing he wants is to cause your soft hands discomfort. He's grown even quieter somehow and shuts his eyes as soon as he feels your thumb caressing his lower lip.
"And you have the most kissable lips I've ever seen. I've wanted to kiss them for so long..s-so long." Marcus thinks you're going to do it, and he prepares himself to feel your lips against his. But then you're pulling away from him and leaning back on the counter, whispering something beneath your breath and making Marcus open his eyes. He watches as you hug yourself and try to appear smaller, and when he stretches out his hand to try and bring you into his arms, you wriggle away from him and apologize.
"I'm s-sorry, I- I think I had one too many drinks. I should go and- oh god, what did I do?" You're talking to the floor, and Marcus finally realizes the power dynamic between the two of you. Before you spiral any further, Marcus walks around until he's standing in front of you. He takes hold of your shoulder and shakes you lightly to grab your attention.
"Sweetheart, I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?" He asks calmly and waits until you nod at him before he continues.
"Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to give you some change of clothes, and you're going to stay for the night. I'll take the couch, and you can take my room alright? There's a lock on it so you don't have to worry about-"
"I'd never think you'd do anything to me, Marcus." You cut him off suddenly and Marcus feels his heart skip a beat at how angry you sounded.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. We can talk about all of this tomorrow morning, yeah? You're not in trouble sweetheart. You and I had too many drinks, and we need to discuss this with clearer heads. Does that sound like a plan?" He looks at you in a way that makes your stomach twist and you nod at him before you move across the living room. Ever the gentleman, he throws his suit jacket around you as he helps you walk to his bedroom and once you're inside, he hands you one of his pajamas and tells you to change into them. As you do, Marcus heads back to the kitchen, grabbing some Tylenol and a glass of water before returning to his room. He stops at the foot of the door when he sees you in his pajamas, gulping nervously and trying to calm himself as he approaches you.
"These are for when you wake up tomorrow. Do you need anything else?" He asks as he tucks you in, smiling when you shake your head and shut your eyes as you feel him brushing your hair aside.
"T-thank you." He barely hears your murmur and nods at you before standing up and heading out of the room.
"Good night sweetheart." Marcus calls out just as he shuts the door to his room and he clenches his fist on the knob when he hears you call after him in return.
"Good night Marcus."
He stands in the middle of his living room and looks around. Marcus begins to clean up shortly after when he realizes that there's no way he will get any rest tonight. He tried his hardest not to get attached to a colleague again but you were different. Just hearing you talk about him made his heart flutter and he hoped that it wasn't the beer talking. He wasn't sure what he'd do if you woke up tomorrow morning and told him that none of what you said was true.
So busy moving back and forth from the kitchen and the living room, Marcus didn't notice you coming up behind him and standing in the middle of the hallway. When he turns around and sees you standing there, he stops what he's doing and approaches you slowly.
"Everything okay? Do you need anything?"
"I- I don't want to be alone tonight." You break the silence and Marcus' breath hitches when he registers what you're asking of him.
"Sweetheart, I- I don't think I should- you've had a lot to drink and you probably need some space to-"
"Please," the soft whimper shakes Marcus to his core and he immediately nods before shutting off the lights and following you back into his room. You waste no time at all and slither back underneath the covers. Marcus grabs his sweatpants and moves to the bathroom to change. His nerves are eating him up, but he reminds himself that you needed him to be his usual self right now. Walking out in his white undershirt and sweatpants, Marcus moves around the bed and slips into the covers. As soon as he shuts off the nightstand lamp, you're crawling across the bed and into his arms, not bothering to say anything as you rest your hand on his chest and nuzzle into his side. It takes him a few seconds to collect his bearings before he wraps his arm around you and leans down to kiss your forehead.
"Is this okay sweetheart?" He asks and shuts his eyes when you somehow grow closer to him.
"Y-yes."
"Alright, sweet dreams baby." Marcus knows he shouldn't be calling you such intimate pet names but he can't hold himself back, not when you were touching him like he was yours. Like you were his. He doesn't have to wait for too long to hear your soft snores and against his better judgment, he turns on his side and faces you, immediately wrapping his other arm around your back to bring you into his chest.
Having you in his arms, with your hands fisting in the front of his shirt, makes Marcus realize that his previous efforts were all in vain.
He was already attached to you. And he hoped to god that the feeling was mutual.
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Pedro Pascal (and any of his characters):
@pastel-0-princess @feelmyroarrrr @libbymouse @its--fandom--darling @spideysimpossiblegirl @princess76179 @cheekygeek05 @miraclesoflove @purple-mango @freeshavocadoooo @metalarmsandmanbuns @acthenerd @greeneyedblondie44 @cannedsoupsucks @purplepascal042 @talesfromtheguild @f0rever15elf @vibin-hippie @onesmokinbabe @leaiorganas @words-way-of-life @kideyz @lovesickmadsadpoet @niall7inches @rosiefridayrogersunday @tati-adventures @sleep-tight1 @itsfreeekinbats @cybergroupie @vibin-hippie @marsplsstop @mouthymandalorian @diogodxlot @janebby @juletheghoul @bii-aan-ckaa @nohartandsole @djjarins @lamelyssher @giselatropicana
103 notes · View notes
tinyboxxtink · 3 years
Text
"Not My Yacht" *Chapter 2*
Yes, for two days this is a semi short chapter, but I had another long today and have one more tomorrow and I wanted you to have SOMETHING. Weirdly though I had an entire different chapter written in my head, but when I started typing this came out instead. My original idea is still coming, this just added a fun little bonus getting there. I promise, tomorrow you will get a longer chapter.
Thank you loves for sticking by me through everything! I love you all.
Also, I'm finally using CHAPTER. I kept wanting to use it instead of PART but I just kept writing PART and was like WELP. But they're chapters, right?!
Ok I'll shut up.
Part 1 Here
Part 3
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Tag List
@madamsnape921
@lolliepopsicle
@chasingeverybreakingwave
@milkshqke
@wanniiieeee
@word-scribbless
@gibbs274
@sassyada
@aprildecker-blog
@bookishfanfic
@stars-in-the-skies-world
@stars-trash-18
@omgsuperstarg
@objection-argumentative
And @storiesofsvu for Rita check. lol.
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When five o’clock rolled around, Rita came walking out of her office with a stack of papers and her briefcase, balancing her purse on her barely free arm.
“Y/N, Why are you still here? Did I not unlock your chains?” She laughed.
“Haha….no, ma’am” You nervously laughed. “I um, I think I’m waiting for someone,”
“You think?” She raised a curious eyebrow. “If you’re waiting on Barba, you’re going to waiting a long time, sweetie,”
“Wha-? How--? Why, exactly?” You asked her totally flabbergasted by the insinuation that not only had Rafael asked you out, but was bailing already.
“He tends to get a little...involved, in his cases. Poor man is a workaholic,” She feigned pity for him.
“Right,” You nodded to her comically overflowing briefcase and papers. “Something you know nothing about,”
“Touché,” She winked. “I’d give him a call, make sure he hasn’t forgotten about you, dear. Before the cleaning staff shows up,” She laughed and sauntered out of her office, leaving you alone in the dark.
You glanced down at your phone. He hadn’t really specified a time, just-- “Tonight”. What did that even mean? Tonight. Like early evening dinner, or a midnight snack after he was done with his cases? You should probably text him. Or call him. Or text him.
TO BARBA: Heyyy….
Wait. Was three y’s too many? Wasn’t that a rule? You show affection by how many y’s you use? Is that a thing kids do these days? Wait, no you’re not a kid. And he certainly was NOT a kid. No. Be a grown up about this.
TO BARBA: Hi I’m just...checking in.
Checking in? What did that even mean? And why the ellipsis? There doesn’t need to be a pause in a text. That’s why it’s a text. You pause in your mind before typing. Idiot.
TO BARBA: What’s up?
Ok. Short and simple. To the point. No pressure, no demanding. Just... ‘checking in’. You hated yourself. Alright fine, good enough send it. SEND IT. HIT SEND NOW.
MESSAGE SENT.
Your phone shook in your trembling hand as you waited for the ellipsis of him writing back. That was too much, no no just put it back in your pocket and he’ll text you when he--
BARBA CALLING
Oh god, a phone call? Who calls people anymore? Grown ups, that’s who. Answer the phone like an adult.
“H-Hello?” You answered it as if he had the wrong number.
“Hey, Cinderella,” His smooth voice came through your earpiece. “I’m so sorry, I should have been more specific about the time,”
“Oh, yeah no-- no big deal, I’m just here at work….alone, in the dark…” You muttered the last words to yourself as you looked around the dark office.
“Right. Well, I’m kind of wrapped up in this case right now--” He started, making your heart drop. Well, Rita called it. He’s just married to his job, no time for women, let alone you. Time to just--
“....Would you hate me if I asked you to come help me?”
“...I’m sorry, what?” You blinked in confusion at your phone. So, was he actually asking you out or trying to snake you as an assistant from Rita? Is that what he meant by ‘dinner’? “Hey come bring me food and help me file these cases, because I’m so sexy and cocky and--”
“You know what, I’m so sorry I just heard how that sounded. You’ve been doing this all day, the last thing you wanna do is come--”
“Sure!” You cut him off a little loudly. What were you doing?! You’re just going to lay down and let him use your services for free? Well, when you put it that way it sounded pretty skeezy about yourself.
“....Are you sure? Because we can just have dinner another night--”
“....Yeah I have a feeling that will never happen,” You cut him off with a laugh.
“Wha--no, it will! I just--”
“Your wife comes first, I get it,” You cut him off again.
“My wife?”
“Yeah you’re married to your work,” You smirked into the phone.
“Wow, quippy Cinderella. Guess you’re more confident on the phone without my gorgeous face tripping you up now, aren’t you?”
“Do you want my help or not, Casanova?” He was totally right; without those green emeralds staring into your soul you were actually a pretty funny and smart person. Maybe it would be better to just have this date on the phone.
"Yes, absolutely," He sighed with a smile.
“Did you want me to bring food, or am I just supposed to eat paperclips and vending machine leftovers??”
“I’ll order some pizza, do you like pizza?”
“....I live in New York Barba. Obviously I like pizza,” You teased.
“Right,” He chuckled. “Well I’ll be here--”
“I know where your office is,” You cut him off for the third time.
“Oh, do you?” He asked in a sneaky tone, as if he thought you’d been googling him or something.
“Um, yeah,” Your voice fell an octave softer. “Actually I’ve been there several times, dropping off stuff from Rita for you,” Of course he wouldn’t remember that. Why would he remember that? You weren’t anything special.
“Shit,” He muttered as if chastising himself. “Y/N I’m so sorry, I--”
“It’s fine,” You assured him as you headed down to the subway. “I’m uh, I’m getting on the train so I’ll see you soon,” You hung before he could reply.
--------------
It wasn’t that far to Rafael’s office from Rita’s, just a few stops away. You quickly hurried up the stairs back into the Manhattan air as you swiftly walked through the sea of people leaving corporate America to go home to Suburbia. Finally you reached the building, went for the door and-- it was locked.
Well of course it was locked, nobody else in their right mind would be here this late-- so clearly you and Rafael were out of your minds. Shit. Should you call him? Was there a buzzer? Before you could think of another solution a pizza delivery man was walking up to you. Maybe ‘man’ was too generous, he was probably around 16 or 17.
“Delivery for Mr. Barba,” He handed you the pizza. Did you look like a “Mr. Barba” to him?!
“I um,” You stammered as the hot pizza burned the sides of your arms you were holding it on. “I’m not Mr. Barba,”
“Are you taking it to him?” He asked you with a slight attitude.
“I um,” You thought a moment. Well you were going to see him, so yes theoretically you would be taking the pizza with you to him. “...Yes,”
“That’ll be 46.57.” He whipped out a credit card scanner on his phone.
“E-Excuse me?” You were taken aback. Now Barba had you buying him dinner? And what kind of pizza costs basically 50 bucks?!
“2 Large pizzas, an order of cheesy bread, a dessert pizza and delivery fee,” The kid read off the receipt from his phone. “I only accept credit or debit cards, and please tip generously,”
“Yeah right,” You muttered with a roll of your eyes as you pulled out your credit card and swiped it across his phone. The light turned green and a receipt printed off an attachment to his phone. He ripped it off and handed it to you, then nonchalantly walked back down the stairs to wherever he was parked.
“Awesome,” You sighed. You still didn’t know how to get inside, and now you were carrying all this hot food. All of this for a pair of green eyes?!
To make matters worse, your phone started going off in your purse. You groaned and tried to put all of the boxes down softly, but the night wind blew them onto the pavement, HARD.
“Shit!” You groaned louder as you tried to salvage the food while pulling your phone from your purse. Of COURSE.
BARBA CALLING
“I can’t get in,” You simply stated as a greeting on the phone.
“What?”
“I can’t get in the building, Barba,” You grumbled, now on a 8 on the annoyance scale.
“Oh! Oh God,” The line went dead. Awesome.
After a few minutes while you were trying to rebalance all of the boxes in your arms, one of the big glass doors swung open right into you. The boxes all pressed against you, their hot, saucy, cheesy and chocolatey goodness smearing all over your work outfit.
“SHIT!!!!!!” You screamed in horror.
“Oh my god, Oh god Y/N I am SO--” Rafael started to apologize profusely, but you noticed he was trying his best not to burst out laughing.
“I’m sorry, do you think this is funny?!” You asked angrily while you peeled a pepperoni from your hair.
“No, not at all,” He shook his head vigorously, but kept giggling behind his eyes.
“You do!” You stomped your heel, causing marinara to roll down your legs. “You are absolutely laughing at me being covered in all of your stupid food that I had to pay for by the way--”
“Oh no, really?” He suddenly turned sincere.
“No, Rafael,” You scoffed as you tried pulling cheese from your skirt. “I just had sex with him in the parking lot and we called it square,”
“Really--?!”
“NO NOT REALLY!”
“Okay! Okay I’m sorry, really I am,” Rafael tried to show you sympathy, but you looked so damn cute covered in a tasty meal.
“Yeah I can see that, you’re grinning like a five year old,” You rolled your eyes.
“I’m sorry, Y/N I really am,” He gave up trying to hide a laugh. “But you have to admit it’s pretty funny--”
“I DON’T THINK--” You started to scream at him again, but his smile made these cute little crinkles in his eyes, and his laugh was like an angel’s chorus. You might have been covered in food, but you would be covered in manure if it made him laugh like that.
“For what it’s worth, you look delicious,” He teased you, pulling an actual full piece of pizza from your chest and biting it.
“Oh my god, you’re so gross,” You did your best not to laugh, you were still supposed to be angry.
“Yum, Y/N flavor, my favorite,” He laughed for a moment just as you both realized what he had said. “Uh, I mean--” He looked away in embarrassment, and you swear you saw his face flush red.
“Um no counselor,” You bit your lip with a smile. “I’m pretty sure I taste better than a mix of pizza sauce and chocolate,”
“I’m sure you do,” Rafael bravely retorted, now that he knew you were in the playing mood.
“....But seriously, now I have to go home and get this shit off--”
“I have a shower in my office,” He blurted out.
“....Excuse me?” You blinked, not believing you heard him right.
“I...I have a shower in my office,”
“Oh my god, Rafael Barba are you that addicted to work that you live here?”
“No!” He rolled his eyes. “It’s for emergencies,”
“Emergencies? Like what?”
“Like a beautiful woman covered in pizza toppings and chocolate,” He smirked. “Now come on, I don’t want anyone around here thinking I’m dating a crazy person,” He opened the glass doors again and escorted you into the lobby of the building.
Your mind didn’t know what to focus on first; the fact that he had this mysterious office shower, that he had offered for you to use said shower, or the fact that he just referred to you as a ‘woman he was dating’. You just followed him silently into his office with a smitten grin on your face.
He wasn’t lying when he was in the ‘middle’ of something. Papers were strewn all about his desk, a white board with bullet points for arguments and cross examinations scribbled on it. You finally got a good look at him without the anger of having food all over your judgement. He looked tired, not the usual smooth and pristine Rafael Barba you were used to. But when he looked back at you to show you where his shower was, his green eyes sparkled gazing into yours.
“So, I have some spare suits in a closet here, would you mind hanging out in one of my dress shirts while I wash...these?” He gestured to your dirty clothes. Wait, wash?
You suddenly realized he had led you into a secret room to the side of his office, behind a bookcase.
“Wha…” You looked around the room. There was a shower, a wardrobe, a washer/dryer combo, and a suit steamer. “Jesus Barba, are you sure you don’t live here?”
“No I promise I don’t,” He shook his head with a laugh. “...But I may have on occasion fallen asleep here enough to invest in this,”
“And what happens when this office is passed on to a new ADA?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Then I’m sealing this place off like a mausoleum,” He stated very seriously, causing you to giggle. He loved your giggle, it was so small and soft, just like you.
“Anyway,” He shook off his momentary daze at your giggle hoping you didn’t notice. “Like I said-- Shower, dress shirt. Just put your dirty clothes in the washer and we’ll pop them in the dryer later,”
“Right,” You nodded, definitely having noticed his dreamy stare at your giggle. How had you gone from completely under his radar to making him giddy like a school boy in two days?
“Right,” He nodded back. “I’ll just be out here...ordering another pizza,” He smirked. “By the way, I’ll totally reimburse you for the one you’re wearing,” He stuck his tongue out at you with a huge grin.
“Oh you better,” You gave him the same face back. “Or I’ll cover you in it,” You lightly pressed a marinara sauce covered finger into his perfectly white dress shirt. He glanced down at it in horror.
“Oh that was so--” He started to tickle and attack you, but realized that would only make his outfit dirtier. “This isn’t over,” He wagged a finger at you as he pointed you to the shower. You gave him one last cheeky smile as he walked out and shut the door to his secret room.
What was happening? Why were you getting to him so easily, so fast? How could he have not even remembered that he had ‘met’ you several times? Well, one thing was for sure. He was never going to forget this night.
43 notes · View notes
marindram · 3 years
Text
full transcription of Marin's blog from Omega Mart!
huge thanks to @b0chelly for recording a scroll-through, which i typed this out from. (and warning for Omega Mart lore/story spoilers. second half is in reblog)
Marinknows.best
Location: Seven Monolith Village
Last Login: 12/31/2019
Profile Views: 101,275
About me: I love listening to music and glitter
Friends (0)
June 26, 2018
Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!
So 14 feels way different than 13. For real. I think it's because I was expecting 13 to feel different, but sometimes when you expect something it turns out the opposite ya know?
Plus, 13 is like, "I'm new to being a teenager!!"
14 is more like, "I'm becoming the person I want to be." At least that's how I want it to be. I wanted to start this blog as a record of all that.
I should ask Did you guys feel the same way when you turned 13 and 14?
But probably nobody's gonna read this because I'm just a weirdo in the weird dessert. I mean, I know my best friend Jesse is reading this (hi Jesse). Besides her, crickets.
But yeah, if you are reading this and you don't know me - I live in Seven Monolith Village, a teensy tiny town that you've only heard of if you're into aliens or homesteading. And I'm literally stuck. As in, I'm physically unable to leave. My first memories are of all the adults in my life (Charlie, my great-uncle/father-figure - Rose, my what? Roommate? Mother-figure? Pseudo-aunt? All of the above? and my mom, Cecelia. who doesn't live here) telling me that for some reason, there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't leave a certain radius of where we live. I got older and thought that they were just exaggerating to keep me safe, but then last year I tried. And it was, let's just say not good.
Anyway. That part of my life sucks, but not everything sucks. This year is all about Marin Dram 2.0. Not new, but definitely improved.
And maybe someday, somehow somebody will read this and care about what I have to say. Somebodies, even. Until then, this is Marin Dram signing off and sending my lame contemplations into the void!
July 1, 2018
Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 20 (and some of these will never happen like are literally unable to happen but JUST LET ME DREAM
1. Kiss someone (who???)
2. Meet HTB (kiss him) (jk he would never) (plus meeting him would be enough)
3. Go to Paris
4. Go to Rome (or somewhere cooler in Italy, look up where is the best pasta???)
5. Go to Greenland (why not???)
6. Go to New York City
7. Go to LA (with a dream and my cardigan lol)
8. Go to the Grand Canyon (this isn't mine, but 9, Jesse is sitting right here and she went to the GC when we were 12 and she's like blah blah blah it's my favorite place in the world and you'll love it. I'm doing this so she'll shut up.
9. Live in a normal house with normal rooms → ideally 12 of them: living room AND TV room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, study/library.
-plus an upstairs downstairs
-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I got my own
-plus an upstairs/downstairs
-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I get my own room with an actual door. Very into doors.
10. Go to a mall (Jesse says there's a bunch of bonkers ones in Vegas)
11. Make friends who aren't Jesse (no offense, Jesse)
12. Get Cecelia (my "mom") to teach me about business stuff so I can open my own cool coffeeshop/bookstore someday
13. Learn to drive (ask Charlie to teach me, he's obsessed with his truck) (Jesse says she can teach me because she's Little Miss Mechanic and thinks she knows everything about cars but news flash Jesse: you're you get than me)
14. Figure out my signature style- like I want people to send me pictures of things and be like "this just screamed Marin" and for that to be true
15. Liquid eyeliner??
16. I'm stopping here because I just read over all this and want to die/cry because easily 3/4 of these are literally impossible?
17. Kill me
18. Bye
19. Lololol Charlie just came in and I was complaining about this, not being able to leave and stuff, etc and he said that I should visit new places by... reading books?? And I mean I like to read. But dude. That's the dumbest thing I've ever head.
July 30, 2018
Okay so this is what I want my life to look like:
I want a pink room. Not just pink... P I N K. Cool pink wallpaper (floral? jacquard??), pink carpet, lots of pink flowers everywhere, a four-poster bed with a pink silk canopy, lots of cool pink throw pillows. Like, so pink that
people think I'm being sarcastic! Oh, and BOOKS. Floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and some of the shelves have, like, STUFF on them that isn't books, like gifts people gave me, or things I've collected on my JOURNEYS. You know, normal stuff that people who live on normal places and do normal things have.
If I lived in in this room, it'd be in awhite three-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac (did you know "culs-de-sac" is the plural? Not "cul-de-sacs"? crazy) and I'd wear very classic girly clothes and my hair would always do what I wanted it to. It'd be one of those towns that people call small, but it's actually a city. just one with a kinda small, cozy feeling. Somewhere that gets cold enough to wear cute jackets but not so cold I have to to like, shovel my driveway. Not a non-place with like 100 people where you can't even go outside without going crazy.
August 2nd, 2018
I guess I should explain where I live, for all my avid fans out there! (lol) (hello??)
So like... I don't live on Earth. At least, not the Earth you think of when you think of EARTH. I live in some some weird off-brand version of Earth called the Forked Earth where there are aliens and magic wells of magic energy and everything is MAGIC but like the crappy kind of magic, where the sun never fully rises and some goo called "runoff" has made everything wacky and oh yeah, my mom is responsible for that and everyone here hates her!! LOL
Also, I can't leave! Like, literally can't! Rose says I'm a "special child of Source" and that's why but that LITERALLY explains tells me nothing, in fact it just raises further questions that no one can seem to answer! AHHHHHHHHHH
Anyway, the last time I tried to leave I felt. When I try to leave I feel like I'm being pulled back by something, like you know those old cartoons where someone's on stage doing something dumb and then someone offstage pulls them away with a giant shepard's crook? It felt like that, and when I opened my eyes I was back in 7 Monolith Village. UGH.
I know this sounds crazy!!!!! But believe me when I say that I am the least crazy person here. Also, """here""" is C R A Z Y. Runoff has made everything the bad kind of psychedelic and then people here actually DRINK IT! Not only do I not DRINK THE STUFF THAT HAS MADE THE WORLD INSANE, I also do not talk to aliens (or whatever Nula are) like Rose or believe crazy conspiracy theories like Charlie, so I believe that qualifies me as the most normal person in the Forked Earth, thank you for this honor, I accept this award with humility and grace!
September 4, 2018
I had the weirdest dream last night?? I was swimming in a pool full of cereal, and when I came up for air, my mom was pouring milk on my head like she was rinsing my hair. She had her hand over my face like I was a little kid and she was shielding me from soap getting in my eyes.
Anyway I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I went to bed hungry and I need to take a shower? Lol
October 16, 2018
I was trying to hide this entry from Jesse, but JESSE IS A NOSY PERSON. She says that blogs are for readers, and if I wanted something to be private then I should "Just write in a fucking notebook and hide it under your bed like a normal person, Marin." I'm allowed to have secrets!! Anyway, I'm making her a freaking playlist, that's why I wouldn't tell her what I was writing about. but EVEN STILL! I'm allowed to have secrets!! But I have this blog because I wanna get my feelings out, I wanna see everything in my head typed out all nice in a way that doesn't make it look insane. You know? I don't know who I'm asking.) Because, it's not like I go to a normal school or have a normal life where I'm surrounded by normal people I can talk to. No one knows about me! I'm trapped in this crazy place and This blog is my only outlet to the world outside. I KNOW that's heavy but it's true! The point is: Jesse's birthday is coming up. The central consistent thing in pretty much my whole life is sharing headphones with her and listening to music. The soundtrack to my entire existence is her. I wish I had money and could buy her the best presents of all time, but I can make her the best playlist of all time. I want it to be so good it feels like magic. I want her to think I'm magic. I had another dream the other night. I don't remember much, just glitter. I must be crafting too much. Or looking at festival makeup tutorials. Or both.
November 12, 2018
WARNING- Weird thoughts ahead, lol.
I can never tell which feelings are normal, and which are me being a giant weirdo. But for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling like every part of my body that's possible to have a ribbon tied around it, has a ribbon tied around it. It's so weird. I can't see the other end of the ribbons - how far they go. where they're attached, nothing. And sometimes it's fine, because sometimes I can hardly feel them. I can forget about them for days at a time, weeks, months if I'm lucky. But then other times I can feel them like, pulling at me. It's freaking spooky, to have something pulling at you from somewhere you can't see. I can't tell if it's pulling me toward whatever it is? Or if it's trying to warn me? Or if I'm just insane??
Does that make sense? Does anybody else feel that way? (she asks into the void)
So idk I guess this ribbons-feeling is why I'm really careful all the time. Like I'm just a careful person. Charlie tried to give me a hard time about it, and I can't be like "I don't wanna pull back in the ribbons too hard without realizing it and wreck something!" because he'd be like "WTF Marin, do we need to get you help?" But also, more and more, I want to be the opposite of careful. I want to take a pair of comically oversized scissors and cut the ribbons into so many pieces that nobody can even tell what they are any more.
I don't know why I'm such a freak, only that I am. I don't know why I can't leave 7 Monolith, only that I can't. But there must be a reason, even if I can't see it, and I feel like it makes sense that the ribbons-feeling is part of that reason, right?
There's just a lot.
January 15, 2019
Happy new year! Lol I forgot to write on the actual first day of 2019, but OH WELL!
I got this new glitter nail polish, thanks to the monthly makeup subscription box my "mom" sends me as an outlet for her abandonment guilt. It has like, every color glitter imaginable without quite reading as "rainbow" which is fine just not really what I was in the mood for and it's vaguely halographic and shifts into all these different colors depending on the light. I'm obsessed. Anyway.
I was putting on another layer because I chipped it like 20 minutes into wearing it, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I recognized the glitter? Like I felt this thing way deep in my gut and for a minute I couldn't breathe. It's the closest thing I've felt to how books and movies make Christmas look. Like I was home, with family, cookies and cider and all that stuff. Familiar and safe. I almost didn't recognize that feeling. And it came from the nail polish. How weird is that.
I mean, I don't want to make it sound like I've had this awful Charles Dickens childhood - Rose and Charlie are the best ever and always there for me and I love them a lot. But things never feel like...home. You know?
My mom always says this cryptic stuff about how I'm "special" and I wanna strangle her because I'm not, but you try getting my mom to stop doing anything she wants to do. Rose told me once that one day, I would "lead the charge into a new era of existence and access" because I'm "of the Source" and I was like uhhhh okay?? Charlie mostly treats me pretty normal, except when I ask him questions about our family. my mom or any Dram. He knows that I want to know more about them and he's my only real entrypoint, but apparently he's like the black sheep of that whole family. He and my mom were close way back right before I was born, but now whenever she comes to visit he barely even looks at her.
So that's to say: nobody tells me anything, ever.
January 16, 2019
Okay this is so weird. I wrote that entry yesterday about glitter and then last night I dreamed about glitter. Then I woke up with purple glitter in my bed?? Like not a lot, so at first I thought it was from my nail polish, but it was just a handful of purely purple glitter that looks nothing like my nail polish. SO WEIRD!!!!!!
February 14, 2019
Rose has an old book full of "ye olde" style fairy tales, and I flipped through it for the first time in forever today.
Not so weirdly, I've always been drawn to the story of Rapunzel.
Rapunzel couldn't leave the tower, or else she'd break her neck and die.
Same.
February 19, 2019
I was reading this article the other day in one of the teen magazines my "mom" gets me a subscription to and it was all about body positivity, which is great, but it was basically just like "wear a crop top if you wannna wear a crop top! it doesn't matter what size you are! You go, girl!" And like, sure. Yes. I am all for that. But doesn't it seem like there are some steps missing in there? Like, I can physically put on a crop top and wear it outside. But how do I convince myself that everybody isn't looking at me and making fun of me in their minds? How do I unlearn the last almost-fifteen years? How do I get actually positive about my body, not just put on a crop top and fight the urge to cry all day?
It's the same thing like when my mom sends me brochures from the CEO camp she ten when she was my age (her dad started the camp for her, which is an insane thing just by itself, but she did all the work, which is even more insane) and she's like "Marin, you lack direction for your life" and I'm like, cool mom. Yeah. I can see that. What I can't see is how to get there from here.
March 2, 2019
This is what I want my life to look like, volume 2:
The walls of my room are covered in Polaroids of me and my friends. There are lots of mirrors in all kinds of shapes. hearts and moons and stars. There's a record player and a lot of vintage records by Billie Holiday and Lena Horne and Peggy Lee and Nina Simone. And Christmas lights! Everywhere! Lots of of pink and purple Christmas lights everywhere.
If I lived in this room, I'd have so many friends and be part of so many clubs. My best friend would have a collection of vintage cameras, and every place we go to that has a photo booth, we'd get photos taken. Every time I'd look at myself in one of those mirrors, I'd feel happy at what I see and never weird or sad. (Jesse hates taking pictures, so even when I actually do normal stuff with her there's no evidence. What even is a life supposed to be without evidence? That's not an actual question you need to answer Jesse, it's just a question)
Anyway, if I lived in this kind of room, my mom would probably be like, an art history professor at a liberal arts college. That's how come everything looks so cool, because I would know stuff about art. My mom and I would love to try new recipes together. We get each other new cookbooks for every special occasion, and right now we're working out way through a Moroccan one. Moroccan Mondays.
In actuality, there's a dust storm happening outside and my eyes sting.
March 9, 2019
Here's what I'm obsessed with lately.
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Can. You. EVEN???
February 3, 2020
Omg I totally forgot this blog existed!!
I lost the password and instead of just resetting it I got in one of my super stubborn moods (Taurus moon lol) and just kept putting in guesses and jokes on me, it locked me out. Anyway, that's a boring story.
But my friend Ximena is really good at hacking and stuff, so she got me back in. Yeah you read that right - I have friends. Obviously a lot has happened since my last post. Ximena moved out here a couple months ago (X's family used to live here but they moved away a while ago) and she introduced me to Lora who I sorta-not-really already knew, and Jesse and I have been hanging out with them a ton. Jesse kind of more than me. Which is fine!!
Anyway I'm 15 now? If I lived somewhere normal I'd be psyched about almost being 16, because I'd get a car and have a Sweet Sixteen and eat a huge PINK cake, but I don't!
February 16, 2020
I read this fanfic the other night that was written in the second person so everything was like "you." "you're doing this" etc you know?
So... You go to a drive-in movie with Heartthrob Boy, and he spills soda on you by accident. And you take off your shirt ( you have a tank top on, don't worry) to clean it up, bit you're still all sticky and self-conscious about being sticky and HTB like... used his tongue to get it off??? AAHHHHH I'M DISGUSTING
but also I wonder if a boy will ever touch any part of me with his tongue
March 2, 2020
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Hi I don't know if you heard but I have friends :)))
March 15, 2020
I think I'm so into painting my nails and doing my hair because those are things that always fit. I don't have to worry about places not carrying about a size 8, or places that carry XLs but when you read the measurements they're actually size 8s too and it's like jesus if that's an XL what am I
My "mom" was confused why I needed new pants because mine still look new, but I showed her the thigh holes and she was like "that's a weird place for a hole, how did that happen" and I realized that when your legs are a certain size, you just don't know about thigh rub and what it does to clothes. Pants could just last for years.
No matter what, I can paint my nails with a different color nail polish on every finger, and I can always do a braid crown. And I know I'm cute as hell, etc, so this is not a Marin Needs to Learn to Love Herself thing. It's just an UGH thing
April 17, 2020
So Rose does all these Source experiments on plants and flowers and stuff. Tbh, it's just one if those things I hardly even register anymore because it's just always there. She's explained to me a million times what Source is/does/means, but the way Rose explains things sometimes is just a LOT to take in and she refers to me as a "child of Source" but I kinda figure that's like "child of God" right? What else would that mean?
But anyway, it's really annoying because dried flowers are a part of my new aesthetic and I pinned a bunch of them up on my wall but I woke up this morning to a freaking jungle of very alive flowers. I freaked out. on Rose, and she Rose said she didn't do it and I was like WELL THEN WHO DID and she said that I did??
Which like. Obviously that doesn't make sense. I asked her what she meant and She just shook her head and said " It's happening. We should have known" which is some horror movie shit that she refused to elaborate on. I love to feel safe and normal!!
Or maybe it's not a horror movie at all. But maybe it's a superhero movie? Maybe there's some kind of origin story I don't know about yet, and all of this will be worth it once I figure out my powers. I wonder what my costume will look like. Lol.
April 23, 2020
Is it possible to die from longing? I know that sounds melodramatic, but I'm also kinda serious?? Because it seems like one of those things that could fester and get infected and kill you. It's like when you fall down and bang up your knee, and you need to put a band-aid on the scrape for a while, but THEN you need to air it out - but how do you know when you're supposed to do each one of those things? And if you do either one too much, your knee gets infected. What if I smother my heart with band-aids for too long and it gets infected? This isn't about anybody. I just keep having these dreams about someone I never expected to have dreams about and they're so intense that they keep leaking into my life and I wonder if I need to do something about them.
May 2, 2020
So Jesse's gotten really into metal music, and I tried to get her to play me something since, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, that's what we've literally ALWAYS DONE with music and each other, and she kinda looked at Ximena out of the corner of her eye and said like "I don't think it's really your thing" And it was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me.
So later I looked up Zenion, the band she was talking about, and I listened to every single fucking song they've ever recorded turned up as loud as it could go with my own headphones that are better than hers anyway, and I loved it. And I didn't love it just because she said I wouldn't. I loved it because it was loud and weird and wild and when I listened to it it made me feel like it's not crazy when so feel stuff so hard it's like my heart's gonna vibrate out of my body. And I would have told Jesse all this and we could have shared it, but I guess she thinks just because I like HTB and glitter and stuff, I don't have the capacity for anything else.
She clearly doesn't know me at all. So much for any kind of whatever, why would she ever want to kiss someone she clearly sees as like a stupid baby.
May 7, 2020
The dreams are getting weirder and they're happening more. I'm getting scared to go to sleep. Not that the dreams are always scary (they almost never are, or not scary like in a typically scary horror movie way). I mean, I've only ever been me. I don't know what other peoples' dreams are like.
The other night in one I was jumping on a trampoline, which is something I've never done in real life. I told Rose about it when I woke up, and she said "do you even know how to jump on a trampoline?" and I said "Rose, it's not like riding a bike. You don't have to learn. You just jump." and then we got into this whole thing about how some things we just know, and jumping's one of them, and how that's so weird. Sometimes I really like talking to Rose about stuff.
May 19, 2020
So, it's prom season in the real world. If I lived somewhere normal, my prom dress would be pink with lots of tulle and silk flowers at the shoulders, and it would fit perfectly and trying in dresses would be fun and not anxiety-inducing.
But since there are only like 10 teenagers currently in 7MV, were not having a homecoming. Cool.
May 27, 2020
So, mom came to visit this weekend, and I asked her about her prom. She was Typical Cecelia at first, very "Prom is a waste of time and money, Marin. It's a night when lesser people play dress-up to engage with their aspirations of grandeur." And I was like eyeroll forever and just stopped talking. BUT THEN she actually talked to me like a human being. She was like, "I actually didn't go to my prom" and when I asked her why she said that she didn't have a date, and was very self-conscious about it. I almost passed out at her admitting that she's ever been anything less than perfect.
(gonna continue this in reblog)
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nightswithkookmin · 3 years
Note
Hey Goldy, i'm positive Yoongi isn't straight and has been fairly open about it from the early years. So do u think that Yoongi could've influenced Jikook (especially Jimin cuz he is very close to him) in any sort of way on their journey?
Jimin is VERY close to Yoongi
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Thank you so much for this statement😭
I feel seen and heard🤧
Not a lot of Jokers out here appreciate Yoonmin's bond😭😭😭😭
The disrespect! How dare they!
In reality, Yoonmin is one of the best ships that reflects the hyung dongsaeng dynamic perfectly in BTS in my opinion- Jinkook and Yoonkook, NamTae are heavy contenders I'd say but Yoonmin is right up there with them. Love Jihope too- if they could cut down on the flirting chilee.
No JHOPE I don't want you to call Jimin sexy or look at him like you want to gobble him with a glass of Sprite- it's weird😭😭😭
But also don't stop
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From Suga 'bullying' Jimin, teasing him, praising him, mentoring him, the bickering- he is the biggest PJM right next to JK and Namjoon. I said what I said.
So thank you for this. I literally cried.
Feel so good to hear someone say that.
I'm having an existential crisis at the moment and Yoonmin is what is getting me through it at the moment.
People need to stop invalidating the members' bond. Seriously. Not cool. They all have beautiful dynamics real or not.
But he's gay? 🤔
You believe Suga is gay??
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Damn.
He's queer and has been pretty open about it from the beginning???
A lot of people assume that about him actually. I think it's interesting.
Did he influence Jikook, Jimin in anyway...
If by influence you mean support then yes. I think he was and has been very supportive of Jimin and JK individually and has helped them embrace and make sense of certain aspects of themselves.
I think he's more understanding than most of the challenges and difficulties of being young and uncertain of who you are growing up under public scrutiny and in a highly hostile environment.
I think he is wise beyond his age and I have a ton of love and respect for him as both a person and an artist.
I love 'People' so much...
I think the most Iconic thing he's said so far to me is this totally woke, fanservice questioning and ridiculing statement:
'I didn't want to wear the maid outfit. I was surprised when they said it's for the fans. We don't have any interest in seeing girls wear men's clothes so why does the fans want us to wear women's clothes?'
It's weird. Fanservice is weird.
My least favorite moment of his is when he admonished JK not to say things like he'd want a tattoo when he grows up because the fans wouldn't like that.
I found that very contradictory for someone who's life motto is nevermind- or is it I don't give a shit?😏
Find it equally triggering whenever he teases JK about crying too much or being a cry baby as if it's wrong for men to cry. There's nothing wrong with shedding tears. Men cry too.
Then the bit about him not wanting tattoos or just a dot on his toe or feet or something because he has things he might want to do post BTS that having a tattoo would just be an inconvenience... quite conservative I'd say.
He don't give a fuck but then he gives a fuck?
Mans gotta be a realist or I'd chalk up these inconsistencies in his values to the clash between his Persona and his real self.
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To be fair, he's not the only one. That conflict plays out in almost every member's outlook.
I see Yoongi as that one person who'd say to a person, go for it but end that advice with a caveat such as, 'but understand people will hate you for it' or some truth along those lies.
He places consequences right next to desire and as long as the person is not oblivious to and can bare the consequences of their actions, decisions and choices then I think he'd ask them to go for it and stand in their truth.
That much I know is his value and I can see how that might have impacted both JM and JK. But rather than encourage them to take risks, I think he pushes them to seize opportunities and put themselves outside- there's a difference there. Their not one and the same.
More than anyone in BTS, I think he understands the gravity of being queer, closeted or being in a relationship with a bandmate in the industry they work in.
I think he is much mature enough to understand the consequences of over attachment and risks of detachment and that too plays out in the way Jikook carry themselves around in the group.
Other than that, I think he minds his business most times.
Do I think he is open minded about conversations on sexuality? Absolutely.
But that's as far as I can go on the topic.
I do not believe he is queer and I'm not convinced in anyway he is pansexual or bisexual either- don't quote his song lyrics to me I already know. Lol.
Boy or girl my tongue will send you to hongkong....
And then his interviews about what he finds attractive in women??
'... it's not limited to boys or girls?'
Lolololololololol
I think that bit was heavily misconstrued.
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'I'M NOT GAY'
This was his response when he was asked to talk about moments his heart skipped because of JHOPE. Similar to moments when the members had said their they almost fell for a band mate perhaps.
Other translations of that statement he made in the interview was, 'since we are both men, how can my heart throb for a man' and then he laughs it off.
Knowing Suga, I think he probably meant that in the most ridiculing, most mocking way possible- these interviewers be asking some stupid questions sometimes.
But imagine Suga saying that with two gay members sitting right next to him in that interview and how these members would feel hearing him say that about homosexuality.
One thing about BTS, if they be making loud openly 'woke' statements, take a shovel to their past- it's usually because they've messed up somewhere and are simply acting conscious of the things they say that can come across as problematic. In my opinion.
They do learn and grow from their mistakes. That's one thing I love about BTS.
They've all had their problematic moments as I keep saying.
To me, this interview moment would be one of such said problematic moments if not one very homophobic moment of Suga's- if the translations were right I mean. chileee. Lemme shut up. Lol.
And before anyone says but JK said the same thing too...
JK had a 'fear' of coming across as Gay in his early years. Part of the reason he wanted JM on the west of his east when the cameras came around- in my opinion.
He'd stutter when similar 'gay' questions were thrown his way- prompting Jimin to ask him straight away not to answer said question when an interviewer asked him.
You pair that with some of the members describing him as 'wanting to be manly' or appear like a manly man and it's not hard to figure out what was going on with him.
He'd pause and look at JM funny when JM would describe their relationship as in between friends and romance...
Jimin had to tell him to relax and that it was normal for men to say 'love' to men without it being weird or gay.
He knew gayism was a thing. He simply didn't want to be viewed as one- either because of his own repressed homosexual desires, in which case that would be internalized homophobia or he really really didn't like being thought of as gay- homophobia.
Suga's is different.
He either genuinely didn't know gay was a thing or that some men's heart actually beat for other men- seems to me he thought the idea of a man's heart skipping for another man absurd or impossible- or dude thought he was being a smart pants with that remark. Lol.
Baring his age in mind at the time of the interview, that in anyway reflects his ideals or assumptions about sexuality. That heterosexuality is D norm. That straight is all he can be or should be thought of as- He clearly hasn't read the blogs. He's in for a rude awakening.
If JK had this ideology about sexuality I think he would have been able to hide his sexuality better and not freak out each time people made jokes about it💀
Suga's said explicitly he is attracted to gal's who wear headphones, doesn't like gals who play hard to get- said he'd kick em if they didn't quit playing hard to get (misogynistic and abusive lyrics there but it's hiphop- let's not talk about that) finds it ridiculous that men should wear female clothes, thinks 'men' shouldn't cry.... all the making of a fine gay man😃
Should we chalk it up to internalized homophobia then??
I wouldn't.
A very dedicated Sope shipper will tell you, he said what he said to cover the fact he is gay so there's that. Lol.
I'm just not convinced Suga is part of the community but I think he is open minded now, leans less into his conservative values and more towards progressive values and thoughts.
I don't think he in any way shape or form 'influenced' Jikook to be gay or to do the gay if that's what you were asking.
But I do respect your opinion on Suga. I think we are all free to assume whatever we want in this case.
I might be wrong about him. You might be wrong about him or we could all be right. We will never know.
Thanks for the ask.
Wasn't comfortable answering it though. Lol.
I don't like when I have to watch what I say.
Sigh.
Signed,
GOLDY
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luna-helps-writing · 3 years
Note
I just found your blog and it is ✨amazing ✨
Anyways, I love how you do match-ups! (I've never asked for one so this is my first time!) Can it be with Star Wars Prequels, Mandalorian, Star Wars Originals and Marvel (MCU)
My name is Leanne, I'm 16, I'm a Virgo ♍, I'm a girl and I'm straight. I am quite a shy person due to my anxiety but once I get to know someone, I'll never stop talking to them.
I only speak sarcasm and quotes
My entire life is based around TV shows, Movies, writing, gaming and TikTok.
I find it hard to have attachments but once I do, I never break the bond that is there.
My trust for people has gone down the drain since my ex broke up with me to get with my best friend.
I don't back down from arguments or fights (but when girls come for the hair ✋) and I usually am the one to find ways to put big words in to demolish the other person (yes, I'm a little bit of a bish when someone angers me)
When I get my 'attacks' (anxiety of anger flares) it's hard to get over. Sometimes I wish I just had someone who didn't try and tell me to "calm down" and just sat next to me and hugged me, saying it would get better, ya know? I hate it when people say "calm down"...Like...THATS WHAT IM TRYING TO DO DEBRA ✋
My humor is quite dark/dry but sometimes it is light and appropriate.
I'm taking a Level 3 course for Early Years Child care.
I hope this is enough for the match-up, it is my first time so I'm sorry if it's terrible but it would mean the world if you would do one for me!!
(Btw, you're the first person I've like opened up to 🖤🖤)
Keep up with your amazing work ❤️❤️
~Leanne (but you can call me Lea) xx
please I’m crying. I almost finished this request and then my Tumblr crashed and it didn’t save ;-;
Anyways, thanks for your request and thanks for the compliment! It really made my day ;-;. Also, your remark about people telling you to “calm down” is so reLATABLE. PLEASE IT’S SUCH A PROBLEM.
For the Mandalorian, I ship you with Din!
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• This one was probably the most obvious. Sarcastic humor? Trouble forming attachments? Say less.
• Okay, so as stated, this man has trouble forming attachments too. He could be a Jedi for all I care. But we see how much he truly cares when he becomes connected to Grogu. The same goes for you. One time you’re fighting him, then you’re traveling with him through the galaxy while babysitting a green frog with overgrown ears.
• He is sarcastic himself too, so you’ll often have loads of (fake) arguments that mainly consists out of stupid, sassy comments. It’s hilarious really, because it’s the one thing that can truly make him laugh.
• He knows you don’t hold back during arguments. Sometimes, someone will disrespect Din or Grogu and then you just go off, saying anything you want to against that person. Din will just be standing in the background, holding Grogu’s ears while his face is similar to this one: o-o
For the prequels, I ship you with Obi-Wan!
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• This one was a bit difficult for me, so it might be a bit out of character. Sorry in advance!
• He is the sass-king himself, but he knows his boundaries. You do not. Sometimes you’ll be talking before thinking and he’ll be the one to tell you to shut up. At first, you’ll test the waters and make another remark, but when you see his face, you quickly stop.
• He knows how to help you during your anxiety. You made that very clear to him. He’ll just get you out of the room and just soothe you in a way you prefer. He’s so gentle and calm, it’s adorable, really.
• He’s definitely the more reasonable one out of the two of you. During arguments, he has to drag you away, quite literally. You know it’s no use fighting him, so you’ll just let him drag you away while you flip the person off who angered you, adding something childish such as blowing a raspberry.
For the Original Trilogy, I ship you with Lando!
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• Listen, combine the two of you and you’ll have fun for days. He’s such a cheery person to be around and you humor is so easily combined. He loves your smiling and hearing your laugh, and you love to make him happy, so it’s a win-win situation.
• Even though he loves your humor, he fell for your caring side. You met when you were watching a couple of children and, for him, it was love at first sight. You looked do peaceful and happy, that it just made his heart melt.
• Keep the one above in mind, he’d be so surprised when he sees you during arguments. With others, he’ll join in, but when he realized how quickly your mouth runs, he picks you up under your armpits and just lifts you out of the room, while you’re still talking and calling that person out.
For the MCU, I ship you with Stephen Strange!
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• This was a close call with Tony, to be honest. Yet, I feel like you and Stephen have more in common.
• Even though his earlier path was on physical health and not mental health, he knows how to best help anxiety and what it does to you. Therefor, any overwhelming situations? He’ll get you out of there immediately as he tries to calm you down in the way you once instructed. He’s surprisingly gentle, bless his heart.
• He has much difficulties with attachments too, but he lets go relatively easy around you. He’s very comfortable with you and loves to talk about everything, really. Seeing him talk to you so easily, helped you a lot in opening up to him too.
• Sarcastic remarks all the time. “Where are the cookies?” “At the C of cookies.” or “Why did you donate that much money to the girlscouts?” “World domination.”
• He is not great with kids, but you are. Kids love you. At first, he’d be a bit confused by it, but after a while he learns how to get along with them (thanks to you) and grows to love the little gremlins.
I hope you liked it! Stay safe during these times please❤️
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eryiss · 3 years
Text
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Ship: Freed x Laxus
Rating: Teen
Prompt: Demon in Disguise x Angel Undercover
Summary: Being a demon was boring, particularly in peacetime. For Freed, passing the time consisted of sneaking into nightclubs and forcing men off the moral path. Thankfully, the angel with beautiful wings and almost rigid set of morals was always there to make things interesting.
Notes: This is Day Two of Fraxus Week, hosted by @fuckyeahfraxus. Be sure to look at their blog, I'm sure there's lot of other great Fraxus content on there for the event already.
Links: Event Masterlist ||| Archive of Our Own, Fanfiction
Off The Moral Path
Year: 2025
Location: Paris, France
"Come now, Darling," Freed purred, gently stroking the raven-haired beauty on the cheek. "You know you want to."
To think he'd come to this. Freed Justine – Albion the Slayer, Absolute Shadow, The Nightmares of Angels – resorted to flirting with men in a bar. It was humiliating. He was a soldier, a demonic mage whose power was the stuff of legends, and by rights everyone in the damned club should be bowing for him, on their knees and begging for his mercy. He would have been kind to them, were they giving him the respect he was owed, and perhaps he would have made their night more interesting with a display of his power.
But he couldn't. The war between demons and angels had long since ended, humans had forgotten about the battles and all the people who had been part of it, and as such they didn't know him. To them, Freed was nothing but another human. Better looking of course, but otherwise no different.
Frankly, it was boring.
War between unkillable forces was fun. You didn't have to worry about being hurt, because you couldn't be, and a demon didn't care for guilt. It was simply posturing, and it had allowed Freed to show off the magic that he'd been slowly building from his creation. He was explosively powerful, and he'd sent many of the enemy forces back to heaven time and time again. It was fun seeing them disintegrate as they screamed, but now that was gone.
Technically speaking, he shouldn't have even been in the nightclub at all. Earth was off limits, but he was hardly doing anything too bad. He wasn't poisoning a water system, or luring a man to his death. He was just having a little fun. Nobody could begrudge him a little magically fuelled flirting.
Well, one angel might. But he hadn't arrived yet.
"I dunno," The raven-haired man shrugged, swirling his drink absently.
"I do. You want to do it and you know it," Freed smirked, and his eyes glowed red for a moment. He placed his hand on the mans exposed forearm, and magic flared in his next words. "I'll do it if you will. And you've got nothing to be ashamed of."
A lie, but a fun one.
"You know what," The man said, confidence in his words now. "You're right."
The man was standing up a moment later, walking towards the raised stage with a pole attached to it, removing his shirt. Hm, if the sounds of the cheering at the sight were reflective of the mood, Freed had been right about him having nothing to be ashamed of. It was good guess; Freed really had no idea what a human saw as attractive anymore.
Freed watched from the bar, drinking his wine with a smirk as the man began to gyrate over the pole. Men and women alike cheered, and Freed liked to think that he had done his good deed for the day. Of course, the dancing man might disagree when the spell wore off, but that was hardly a problem.
He'd dispel his magic as the man was dancing. It would be fun to see him crumple.
"The hell are you doing?" A loud rumbling voice came from behind, and Freed smirked.
Right on time.
"What does it look like, my dear," Freed said, not looking towards the angel looming over him. "Exercising my Devil given right to annoy you. Is it working?"
"Take the spell off him," The angel demanded. "Now."
"During his dance. Imagine the embarrassment, it would be debilitatingly humiliating," Freed laughed quietly. "Would he be able to look himself in the mirror? Would he be allowed back out of his home? Would he cry? Rather cruel, aren't you angel?"
"Shut it, devil," The angel growled.
"So rude," Freed tutted while grinning. When a hand planted itself firmly on his shoulder, Freed turned to look to the man. "Good evening, Laxus."
It was always disheartening to see Laxus disguised as a human. He was good looking in their terms, with broad shoulders, a thin waist, handsomely rugged features, and a damn cocky smirk when he used it. But Freed always missed seeing his wings. They were long stretching, tinged and scarred by lightning, with feathers so soft that Freed couldn't decide whether he wanted to stroke them or to pluck them out to see the man scream. He was a magnificent beast of an angel – the counterpart to Freed's demon – and very fun to annoy.
"Hypnosis on humans is fucking illegal," Laxus growled.
"Then it's good that I didn't use it," Freed dismissed, placing the wine on the bartop. "I only lowered his inhibitions. He's lost all doubt and regret, and he's simply doing what he wants to do. Hardly a war crime."
"Tell him that when the police come," Laxus murmured, and Freed laughed. Would the man be arrested before he was naked? Freed hoped not; human anatomy always made him chuckle. "You ain't supposed to be on earth. The hell is wrong with you?"
"You're here," Freed retorted, ignoring the question. "Won't you get in trouble too, angel?"
"I'm only here because I knew you were pulling this shit," Laxus whispered harshly, hand on Freed's shoulder tightening. "And I wanted to get you to cut it the hell out before," he jutted his chin up, "they figure out what you're doing."
"But the danger is half the fun," Freed smirked.
Laxus said nothing else, instead surrounding them both with a wave of angelic magic. As was natural for a demon, the overall holiness of the gesture sent a shooting of pain over Freed, but he grit his teeth and allowed the spell to take effect. A moment later, he was teleported to a blank, bland, nothing room nestled in the middle of limbo.
This was always how his little dance with Laxus went. Freed would sneak down to earth, annoy, and torment a human in a way with very few long-lasting consequences so that he could get a fill of fun, Laxus would somehow be informed of what Freed had done and would stop him before any other heavenly figures realised what he was doing, and he would be teleported away. It had happened hundreds of times, and always ended with Laxus yelling at him for his stupidity but never actually doing anything to stop him.
His face would soon be angry, and his wings would be spasming and flickering. Anger was a good look on the man.
But, truly, this dance was getting boring. They were all-powerful beings, opponents by very nature, who had met in the middle of battel and had underwent fights that would be studied for history in years to come. They shouldn't have gotten stuck in a rut. It was almost insulting.
"Why don't you leave me alone?" Freed asked before Laxus could begin shouting.
"What?" The angel asked, taken unaware.
"Well, I understand that your side likes to preach forgiveness and repentance and so on, so perhaps I can understand you trying to stop me the first ten or so times, but we've been doing this for years now," Freed smirked, leaning forward and leaning against a white table. He looked up at Laxus from under his lashes, flirtatious and smirking. "I'm not changing my ways, and you know it. So why not leave me to get killed by your darling overlords?"
Laxus tensed his jaw, grit his teeth, and let his wings shoot out from his back. What a lovely sight. Freed quickly removed his own human disguise, horns cracking from his skull and eyes turning a red and purple swirl.
"Everyone can improve," Laxus retorted. "I think that, given-"
"I've known you for centuries, Laxus, I know when you're parroting that ridiculous heavenly mantra," Freed cut off the argument before it could be made. "I want to know why you, angel supreme Laxus Dreyar, is being ever so kind to me so often."
He said nothing, and Freed grinned.
"May I offer my thoughts, since you don't seem to want to answer," Freed continued. "I think we're more alike than you think. You and I, you see, we're fighters. You can claim pacifism all you want, but I know you loved every moment of engagement. Showing off your power, proving yourself to be an overwhelming force of nature, it was everything you ever wanted. And then it was taken away from you, and you were at a loss of what you could do. Everything was peaceful and there was nobody to do battle with. Nobody to impress. Nobody but me."
"That ain't what happened," Laxus grunted. He walked towards a door Freed assumed would take him back to heaven, and Freed quickly intercepted.
"It's exactly what happened. I'm your opponent, in this little game we've created for ourselves," Freed smirked, took a single step forward so he was in Laxus' space and yet not quite touching him. "It was fun, as games go, but I think we should move past it. Flip the board and do something a little more," he smirked, and raked his claws over Laxus chest before hissing, "tactile."
Laxus' face held an expression Freed was familiar with. He was on the brink of doing something he wanted to do more than anything, but knew it was wrong. A look that, on humans, brought Freed a giddy thrill.
Seeing it on Laxus was euphoria.
The angel swallowed slightly, looking over Freed's face, his claws, his horns and then back to his face again. His eyes were dilated just a little, body tensing and muscles hardening as if he was trying to steel his resolve. He was so close to breaking, and making both of their lives both more pleasurable and much more interesting. He just needed a nudge. Freed was happy to oblige.
"That was the problem with the war, I feel," He purred, voice like silk and seductive. "Place men of unsurmountable power together and make them fight. It fuels passion. We were purpose built to feel strongly about one another. To obsess over one another. To rely on one another," He raised his hand and dug his claws into Laxus' jaw. "What did they think would happen when we could no longer fight? Falling for each other was inevitable."
"I ain't fallen, not for you," Laxus murmured as he leant close to Freed, tenseness giving way. He was even smiling, ever so slightly, and that was all the encouragement that he needed.
"Aren't you?" Freed grinned, stroking Laxus' cheek and loving the restrained mewling that bubbled in the angel's throat.
"No," Laxus murmured, bringing his lips closer to Freed, and his grin was just as unhindered as Freed's.
"Well," Freed purred, pressing into Laxus' chest. "Put your money where your mouth is then."
He closed the gap between them, and two millenniums of tension exploded to life in a slow, tender kiss. The mixture of magics gave their kiss a burning, fizzing sensation that spurred them both on. The contrast of their bodies stung and felt fantastic, addictively peculiar and driving them to kiss harder.
Laxus' wings outstretched behind him, then wrapped around them both. The comforting feathers tingled at Freed's back, and he leant against the man with a smirk as they pulled apart. Laxus was smiling at him, not a lingering sense of doubt in sight, and Freed grinned.
As fun as it would have been to taint an angel, bring him to his knees and make him turn his back on his culture, Freed had truly believed his words. They were fated to be together; it only made sense. Freed had broken countless rules set after the war, and he should have been struck down by lightning or burned at the stake for his crimes. Even with Laxus looking over him, the powers of fate were more powerful, and breaking of the rules came with immediate punishment. He hadn't been killed, despite his flagrant disregard of the rules. There was a reason for that, and he liked to think he'd been saved for Laxus. The fact Laxus had showed no regret, nor no fear about what he had done, seemed to suggest Laxus agreed with the sentiment.
Now, Freed was in a new game, a much more fun one. A game where it wasn't simply a demon fighting against an angel. No, this game had only one side. A flirtatious demon with an abhorrence for boredom, and his darling, virtuous fallen angel. Who would dare oppose them?
Le Parisien – 02.11.2025
Une Célébrité Populaire Prise Dans Le Scandale De La Nudité En Public.
Hier soir, le chanteur et danseur populaire Grey Fullbuster a été arrêté à Paris. Les rapports ont affirmé que, dans une démonstration de confiance ivre, il est monté au sommet d'une scène dans la discothèque Devil's Door, et a commencé à enlever tous ses vêtements et à danser contre un poteau. Les réactions à la situation vont du dégoût moral au plaisir divertissant. Dans une déclaration faite par le manager du chanteur, Fullbuster a affirmé que "Le diable m'a fait le faire".
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taehyungsgrowl · 4 years
Note
thinking abt that ask u once got abt outpost! michael finding out he's interviewing a little kid and. i'm not w e l l. my heart is swelling just from imagining the scene,,, ma'am, no pressure, but if u would be so kind as to give us even a short blurb abt it 🥺❤
hey 🥺 
i loved that concept too omg ty @ anon who had originally sent the ask!
i just used the name Noah for the little boy bc i looked up “boy names” and it was #2 (plus i like the biblical theme) so yeehaw
tw: this is a little angsty @ times. talks about the child having a bit of an unstable and rocky childhood that makes michael 🥺
--
Michael didn’t really care to know how the people in his outpost got there. He could assume were people who bought their way in - the wealthy that made generous contributions to The Cooperative. 
He waited behind the mahogany desk in his dim-lit office, waiting for the residents to trickle in for his interviews. He had to admit, this was the most entertainment he has had since the bombs struck. 
Messing with the likes of Coco St. Pierre or her stylist fueled him. Making them believe that they actually had a shot of salvation - making them believe they were special? He could laugh. 
He opened the file for the next resident. 
Odd... he thought. Normally the Cooperative did an excellent job of providing him with as many details on the lives of the residents, but this file was different. 
There was no photo attached, no age or description. Just a name stamped in red ink like the others. The inside of his file had the name of an elementary school along with various families and addresses. At the very bottom of the page, the department of social services was listed. 
It was common for the files to have information on the residents' childhoods, but this file had nothing beyond his younger years. No parents listed. No information on how he was admitted. Nothing he could use. 
This kept Michael intrigued. Who was this mystery man?
He heard the door timidly open. Michael didn’t look up from his paperwork - feigning to be uninterested. 
The door shut and he heard small footsteps approach. Was it a Grey that had mistaken her interview time? Michael looked up to reprimand her, but the words caught in his throat.
This was no Grey. And certainly not a man.
But a child. He couldn't have been older than ten. The clothes Venable had put on him were far too large for his small frame. He had ashy brown curls that framed his chubby cheeks and sad green eyes. 
He stood near Michael’s desk, looking down at the ground. 
“Are you Noah?” Michael was surprised at how soft his voice came out. 
“Yes, sir.” the child kept his eyes down. His heart was racing. He was scared. 
As much as he hated the Outpost, this was the first time in his life he’d been able to stay in one place for longer than a few months. Before the dropping of the bombs, he had bounced around from foster home to foster home - a permanent ward of the state. 
The cubes were gross, but there were constant. The other residents and greys kept an eye out for him. Gallant would trim his hair every few weeks and Mallory would do her best to pin his clothes with what little she could find. 
Secretly, Venable’s right hand, Mead, would even check on the boy before bedtime. He strangely reminded her of a familiar feeling she wished she could remember. 
It had taken the end of the world for this boy to in some twisted fate, find a family of sorts. 
He’d heard the whispers about Langdon’s visit. He worried Langdon would toss him out much like other fosters had. 
Michael cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. 
A child?
“Take a seat.” the boy did, letting his feet dangle off the chair. “How old are you?” 
“I’m eight, but we don’t have birthdays here.” he looked up at Michael for the first time. 
Michael grimaced. His heart felt like it was being grasped in a tight fist, almost making it hard to breathe. There was a knot in his throat that he pushed through. He’d just met Noah, but he saw so much of himself in the young boy. 
Scared and with nothing but a sliver of a family - if either of them could even call what they had that. 
“I never had much of a birthday either,” Michael answered out loud without meaning too. He saw the boys face drop. 
“Are you gonna hurt me?” he tugged at his too large sleeves, a tear forming in his eyes. 
Michael shook his head no, slowly getting up from his chair. He kneeled in front of Noah, getting eye level to make him more comfortable. “I’m not here to hurt you,” he reassured him, patting his knee. 
“Do you know how you got here?” Michael’s mind flashed with the boys' memories - his mom not being able to care for him leading to years of toxic and unstable relationships for him. 
“I don’t wanna get in trouble,” he whispered. 
“No one will get you in trouble,” Michael promised. “Not as long as I’m here.”
“I ran away,” he looked at Michael, “I only remember being in a cage next to Emily and Timmy,” he sniffled. 
Michael nodded. 
“What is something that you want, Noah?” Michael stood back up.
He shrugged, his gaze back on the floor, “I don’t know,”
“Are you scared of me?” 
Noah took one long look at Michael, really thinking before he answered. 
“No, sir.” the boy shook his head. 
Michael ruffled the boy's hair a little. “I’d like for us to be friends, Noah. Would you like that?”
He hesitated, unsure if Michael meant it. Michael walked to his suitcase and opened up the zipper. He dug through it silently until he found what he was looking for. 
He pulled out a brown horse toy. One from his childhood room. He was never able to fully part with bits of his childhood. 
“This is for you.” he handed him the toy, watching his face light up. 
“Ms. Venable said there were no more toys!” 
Michael chuckled, “Well, there aren’t a lot, but this one right here? It’s special and I want you to take care of it. Can you do that?”
“Yes!” he beamed. 
“Good,” Michael sighed. He glanced at the clock. “It’s late. You should go to bed. But I’ll visit with you tomorrow, alright?”
“Yes, Mr. Langdon.”
Michael scrunched his nose at the name and sent him off to bed. 
The look on the boy’s face when he walked in reminded Michael of his interview with a detective many years ago. It made his stomach turn. 
The apocalypse was about new beginnings after all. Why couldn't he start by giving this young boy a fresh one? 
--
its been a lil bit since i’ve written something + i decided to try something that isn't really michael x reader so i wanted to tag a few blogs that might be interested in this 🥺👉👈
lmk what you think or if you’d like to expand on Michael and Noah concepts.
@xavierplympton @lvngdvns @langdonswhoreprobably @desertsunflower00 @sadhoecentral @getdevils @moonanonwriting @rpwithjayn @chloewinchester13 @shyvirgoanon @littledemondani @little-grunge-flowerz @ritualmichael @wroteclassicaly @shenevertricks1831 @duncansshephard @midnightontheearth @leatherduncan @xavierplym
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