#we all have one safety net and one party is like yeah you can have that it's fine!

[imwritesometimes]

ngl to you guys I have started to feel consistently, really, legitimately physically ill reading news sites and I am uhhhhhh really fckn worried and also mad so lmao idk man

[d3m0nicdream]

Safety Net: Sam and Colby

Fem!Reader x Sam and Colby

Tags: Fluff, Semi-Abusive bf

****************************************************

"Hey, babe. Sam and Colby are having a party tonight." You yell from the bathroom.

"Cool, you're not going." He yells back as he screams at his game a second later.

"What do you mean I'm not going? I'm getting ready as we speak." You scoff as you stand in the doorway with your eyeliner in hand.

"Cuz I said so, now come sit and watch me play." He stares contently at the screen as the images of war flash on and off.

"No, I'm going to the party." You spat before turning around and finishing your liner. You double check one more time before walking out of the bathroom.

"Okay, well you're dressed like a slut so you're not going." He takes off one side of his headphone and looks you up and down. You were super confused. You were wearing jeans and a cute crop top. You wore this kind of thing everyday. Today was no different.

"You're crazy. I'm leaving." You grab your jacket and keys while heading out the door. You hear yelling behind you but you don't care. You were going to the party.

***********************************************

You knock on the door after Colby nor Sam were answering their texts. You knew they were going to tell you to just walk in but you didn't do that sort of thing. The door opens and Sam smiles.

"Y/N! Glad you could make it. You know you could have just walked in, right?" You laugh and he smiles. He leads you through a crowd of people. Most of them you didn't know, but you saw a few familiar faces. Jake and Corey. Kat and Stas. Nate and Seth. They were all living it up. You see Colby in the kitchen. You and him make quick eye contact and he smiles at you.

"Look who decided to show up! I thought you weren't going to come." He hands you a shot and you down it in one swig.

"Damn, Boyfriend got you worked up?" Colby looks at you concerned. You never drank like this on a normal day, nor so eager to take a shot like that.

"I don't wanna talk about it. I'll be lucky if I have a boyfriend by the end of the night." You say as Colby hands you one more shot and you take it.

"More like he will be lucky if he has a girlfriend. I know you don't want to hear it but he treats you like shit." Colby is blunt with his words but you don't expect anything less from one of your best friends. They have been through every boyfriend you have ever had and they tell you the same thing everytime.

"Yeah, your taste in men is awful." Stas walks in at the butt of the conversation grabbing a drink from the fridge behind Colby. He then points at her and looks at you knowingly.

"See, she gets it. We just want to see you happy and he definitely doesn't make you happy, Bun." Colby casually pulls out the nickname him and Sam gave you so long ago. That's how you know he was serious. You sigh and turn to walk away before you face drops. Your eyes meet your pissed off boyfriends from across the room and you quickly try to maneuver away. You were almost in the clear but then you feel his hand grip your arm roughly.

"Didn't I tell you to stay home?" He yells.

"Let go, you're hurting me." You wince and try to break his grip but he was much stronger than you.

"Lets go, we are going home. Unless you would like to stay and fuck these guys. Your clothes scream how desperate you are." He pulls you toward the door and the crowd of people start to stare. The music stops and you are now center of attention. You guys come to a halt as you feel another hand on your other arm, pulling you in the opposite direction.

"You can let her go now. She's not going with you." Sam smiles at your boyfriend and now they are looking at each other. Colby comes up from behind your boyfriend and grabs the wrist of the hand on your arm. He doesn't say a word as your boyfriend lets go.

"You can have the slut. We are done here." He tsks and leaves the house with a slamming of the door. You rub the spot where his fingers dug in. There were definitely going to be marks left behind. You sit on the couch and breath out a sigh. Colby sits next to you while Sam makes sure the guy leaves.

"Sorry about that. So embarrassing." You speak up to Colby. You hated bringing unnecessary attention to yourself, especially in front of your friends. Colby places a hand on your shoulder.

"It's okay. You can stay here as long as you want. We can go your stuff when you're ready." Sam walks back over to you two and states that he has indeed left the property. You just wanted to be alone right now.

"Hey, I'm gonna go sit in your room. I'll be back out a little later." You look at Colby and he nods. You take your leave and head upstairs. Once behind the door, the tears you had been holding back pierce through. They are warm and rush quickly down your cheeks. You had no idea why you were even crying. Stas was right, he didn't treat you well at all. The constant belittling and insults were a clear sign of that. So why were you so sad about it?

Some time passes and you sit on the couch in Colby's room watching something on the t.v. Your eyes are getting heavy and eventually you welcome sleep. You are awoken by someone behind you trying to be quiet and failing. You look behind you to see Colby looking at you as he rummages through his drawer.

"I was trying to grab you some sleeping clothes but I dropped something. I'm sorry if I woke you up." You giggle at his explanation. You get up and walk over to him, looking at the clothes he had laid out for you. You thank him, grab the pile and head to the bathroom to change. You come back out and Colby had also changed his clothes.

"You can sleep in the bed, I'll sleep on the couch here." You nod and lay in the bed. You nestle into the blankets and Colby turns the lights off. The only ambient light is his LED strips set to red. After about ten minutes, you just lay there. You couldn't sleep.

"Colby?" You whisper, not sure if he was still awake or not.

"Yeah?" He whispers back. He was still awake.

"Would you come lay with me?" You don't look in his direction but you can hear him shuffle over to the bed, crawling next to you.

"You okay? We haven't done this in awhile." Colby looks over at you. You guys used to do this alot way before you got with your boyfriend. Sam and Colby both. They were your best friends. The best support system you had was with them. You know they would look out for you, no matter what.

"Yeah, just sad." You say softly and you feel Colby shift, moving his arm around your shoulders and pulling you in to him. He smelt good all the time and right now was no different. You lay your head on his shoulder and sigh. He presses a small kiss on the top of your head. You hum in content.

"He didn't deserve you, Bun. It's better this way. You can stay as long as you need." You were thankful for Sam and Colby, They were the perfect safety net. Colby's body warmth was beginning to lull you to sleep when you both hear a small knock on the door. Sam peeks his head into the room.

"We are having a cuddle session without me." Sam closes the door and acts offended. He was already in his sleeping clothes. He runs and jumps into the bed with you and Colby.

"Come oooon, share Colby. She's my friend too." Sam laughs as Colby tries to push Sam off the bed, laughing as the two basically fight over space in the bed. Once everything calms down, you are sandwiched between the two guys. Sam places a kiss on your cheek and wraps his arms around you from the other side, snuggling you close.

"Goodnight, Bun." Their combined warmth puts you to sleep almost immediately.

****************************************************

[cafecourage]

I have been thinking about haikyuu a lot recently and their dynamic in the team compared to how I think the Chain interacts. Please if anyone wants to add on or add their thoughts, even if you haven’t watch the show, it’s always fun to discuss these things! :D

TL DR: Let me tell you about how I think the Chain’s dynamic and reference one of my favorite animes. It’s a lot underneath have fun understanding my tired brain.

Lets start with Time, automatically I am going to say he is the foundation of the chain. Time is the guy that all the boys rely on. Time isn’t flashy, he isn’t the strongest, but he is solid. If Time is out then things start to crumple a bit. Not because there is lower power but like I have been saying Time is reliable. Also I think it’s funny if someone drew Time as Daichi in this scene.

I still laugh at this panel with hindsight. But I genuinely want this.

Warriors is a tactician, he is a setter in the team. I feel like Warriors is the type of person that while he is a strategic and thorough person. He is completely able to vibe with anyone given he has enough time to be with them. This man thinks even in the middle of battle. Yes, while he is an Suga type he also gives me Akaashi or Kenma vibes.

Twilight is an Ace. He is the strongest physically and the most heavy hitter of the group. He is there to do crowd control and break down barriers. He is the tank. I don’t think there is more to be said. If people want someone to be the muscle it’s Twilight. I don’t know who to compare him to tho, he ain’t an Asahi type.

The person that is both a defensive and offensive person is Legend. He is definitely a middle blocker, but the reason I think he can swap at the drop of a hat, is because the amount of stuff he has. He can quickly look at a situation and go “I got something for this” and pull out a magic weapon that will help.

Another person that is a swap is Wild. I think he is like Johzenji the party team. In the way that he is unrefined and easily able to adapt to his surroundings and other people around him. Wild is holding back probably most of the time since he is so used to being alone. That doesn’t mean his attacks are worse, it just means he can be anything, anywhere at anytime in a battle.

Four and Wind are both more defensive fighters. They are both small and had to figure out how to fight people five times their size. Four is obvious he is the Libero of this weird volleyball metaphor. He really is the safety net, he is on the look out to see who need the most help. Because let’s be real in video games normally the smallest enemies are the most annoying ones to fight. Wealthier or not that is true irl I will just say Four will probably make it so. I can see Four mostly helping the heavy hitters to make sure they aren’t blind sided. But he is also probably zooming around the battle field to see who needs the extra hands. I’ve been comparing the boys to people so I guess Noya in this case or Yaku.

Wind, though, is defensive in the same sense of Hinata, where he is the ultimate decoy. Wind needs to be more aggressive in fast and quick succession. He is probably the most chaotic attacker because of it. Yeah, he has training but he is also trained in pirate. There isn’t much to say other than Wind is probably adjusting to more traditional fighting. I mean this boy is probably more similar to Wild in attack style but with the slight formal training. Even then he was trained by an old man in his isolated island village.

Hyrule is a glass cannon. Yes thats because of the blood thing. However, even with that I think Magical wise Hyrule is the most powerful as he doesn’t need items to do his spells. But also his attacks can get out of hand really fast. But he has been using them for a long time and as we saw he can control it pretty good. Ironically the first time I drew Hyrule I gave him freckles because he reminded me of Yamaguchi so if im bias i am bias.

Sky as much as I love him, I don’t know where he would place. Even though he is what started this whole things. Like it’s something to be sad that he killed god, but i don’t think he is necessarily fighting on the offense. Sky is the moral and emotional support, just like Tanaka is to Karasuno. This means more after battle wise where he doesn’t show emotional weakness if something went wrong. Even durring battle he isn’t getting pissed off or outwardly stressed. I suppose he is like time as well where Sky is reliable. But if Sky is taken out it’s more mentally panic as the person that keeps everyone positive is down and is hurt.

Anyway I am going to go watch the stage play again because i miss the music.

[yellowhollyhock]

day 16 dance competition

Couldn’t resist making this about 03 Raph

post-canon, uhhh no trigger warnings this time I think. includes my take on 03 versions of various characters from other versions, not super developed here but very relevant.

It felt like the future.

Raph hated saying that, too, because it sounded like some cheesy tag line instead ot the specific type of headache he really wanted to describe.

It was the high ceilings, and being surrounded by machines he didn’t know the purpose of. Not to mention the uncomfortable suit he had to wear.

“I don’t know why we even have to come,” he said to Leo, half-hoping he’d persuade him to turn back. “I mean, Mikey and Donnie have jobs to do.”

“This is about building relationships,” Leo replied, though he didn’t sound thrilled either. “It’s the first time they’ve had potential off-world clients visit, and since most of their staff don’t have any experience with aliens, we need to be there as a buffer.”

“But Mikey’s already been studying all those cultures with Irma and Oyuki. Isn’t he in charge of being the buffer?”

“He studied the cultures so he could help plan music and a menu that wouldn’t start any wars. They’re still going to need our support in case anything goes wrong. Besides, our presence is symbolic. We’re two of only five people on earth who have ever met a Neutrino, even if it was in passing and we didn’t know it at the time.”

Raph knew that, but it was still unfair. Fugitoid was way more familiar with aliens.

“Yeah, well I bet there’s at least one other person,” he muttered darkly.

“Another important reason for is to be here,” Leo said seriously. “Even though April has government approval and protection, if Bishop somehow finds out—”

They both stopped short at the entrance to the meeting room. The outside wall had been let down as a balcony—with a safety net, something Leo had insisted on in the design phase—and the big conference table had been moved out to make room for a few smaller tables. The bright overhead lights were off, soft yellow tones lighting the room instead.

Leo gripped Raph’s arm nervously. “We’re very exposed this way.”

Raph reached over to pat him on the shell—and was interrupted by a screech and someone jumping onto his back.

“You guys are here! Can you believe we’re really doing an alien party? This is like straight out of Star Trek!”

“I really can’t believe it,” Raph assured him, unable to resist a fond smile. “I hope at least the food is better than on Star Trek.”

Mikey released them both, and they turned to face him. Raph frowned.

“Hey, how come you don’t have to wear a suit?”

Mikey was instead wearing a loose-fitting reflective jumpsuit with seams making hexagon patterns. Since it curved around his shell, he kind of looked like disco ball. He twirled happily.

“You like it? It’s the latest Neutrino fashion. Since I’m a cultural liaison April said I could wear their party clothes instead of ours!”

Raph looked at Leo. “Aren’t we cultural liaisons?”

Leo shrugged. “You wanna wear a disco ball?”

The fact that Raph thought about it for a second was a real testament to how uncomfortable their suits were. “No.”

Mikey laughed. “Come on, April and Fugitoid went up to meet them when they land, Donny’s briefing the staff in the break room. We want to all come in together ‘cause it’s more polite im their culture.”

They glanced at each other to confirm they both felt completely out of place, then followed Mikey.

In the break room, they found Irma, an older woman Raph was pretty sure was named Libby, and Timothy dressed in waitstaff uniforms, white aprons and loose black clothes. Casey wore a suit, Oyuki a black dress. Master Splinter wore a brand new blue robe. Donny was dressed like Leo and Raph, and looked about as nervous as them too.

“The Neutrinos are shapeshifters; they’ll explore their environment by shifting to match us, or other objects they find, so be mindful of what you grab. Remember, you’re all here because we trust you. We’ve done the impossible together before. Just be yourselves, and we’ve got your backs.”

Raph glanced sideways at Leo, unsurprised to see a soft smile. It was almost the same speech he’d given Don that morning. They gave each other thumbs up.

“Is it gonna give them a weird idea about earth for so many of the humans to be the waitstaff?” Oyuki pointed out as she glanced over the group.

Donny frowned thoughtfully. Unfortunately, Raph wasn’t quick enough to recognize an opportunity to change outfits. Leonardo was.

“I can be waitstaff. Timothy, trade me.”

Raph bit back a swear as he realized the opportunity he’d lost. Not only that, he was now the only ninja turtle present without a job.

Meanwhile, Timothy stood at attention, eyes wide. “It’s an honor, Leonardo Ninja Turtle!”

Leo tilted his head. “My last name is Splinterson. Do you know where the bathroom is?”

Timothy gave a very serious nod, and briskly led the way. Leo gave his brothers a backwards bewildered glance before following.

Casey clapped his hands. “Alright so, I guess we’re just waiting on word from the boss. Hope the landing’s going okay.”

“I hope after I spent this much time on my hair there at least some cute aliens my age,” Irma drawled, earning a few chuckles.

Master Splinter gave Raph a very serious look, putting a paw on his elbow. Raph leaned down a bit.

“Yeah, Sensei?”

“You seem particularly nervous, my son.”

“What, me? Nah. Just don’t like dressing up. And it’s kinda pointless, you know? I mean, I’m not exactly your average earth representative, and I don’t know about technology or alien culture. Not really a reason for me to be here.”

He crossed his arms protectively over his chest, realizing that while he had intended to dismiss Sensei’s concerns, he had instead confirmed how nervous he felt.

“I believe you know more about life from outer space and accepting those different from you than most people,” Master Splinter reassured him, “But regardless, you are here to support April and Donatello. They value your presence immensely, my son, and need your support.”

“Yeah. I know.”

He did know, but it was nice anyway, hearing it from someone else.

April and Donny just better be grateful he dressed in the worst kind of human clothes for a whole evening.

“Got her text,” Casey announced, just as Timothy and Leo reappeared. “Let’s go.”

So Raph tried to put his discomfort and insecurities out of his mind, and went to the weird business meeting party.

He gave polite nods and kept his distance. He would have liked to talk to Casey or Don, but both of them were occupied discussing recent work projects with interested aliens.

He looked around for Leo, wondering what there was to eat. He didn’t really want to ask Irma.

He spotted Leo across the room, holding a plate of appetizers and trying to explain food he didn’t understand himself to a bewildered alien.

He backed into something, and heard a surprised trill. Startled, he turned around to find a—uh, creature, with six insect-like limbs and a beak like a bird.

“Oh, uh, sorry.”

The Neutrino made a strange garbled sound. Raph took a half-step back, trying to decide if the tone seemed upset.

“You got a universal translator? I don’t have a universal translator. Were we supposed to get one?”

They dropped—or, looked more like, threw—a bright orange handkerchief at Raph’s feet.

He hesitated, thinking of what Don said about being careful what he picked up. Was that their friend? Had he hurt them when he bumped into them?

Keeping an eye on the insect-bird, he stooped to pick up the handkerchief. They leaned forward expectantly, so he went through with it and carefully handed it back.

Then they whirled and morphed into a turtle, matching Raph exactly, other than the orange handkerchief they held up.

Mikey appeared, beaming and clapping Raph on the back.

���She challenged you to a dance competition!”

“Say what.”

“Yeah yeah, it’s a big thing in their culture! We didn’t expect it to happen here because it’s usually for royalty. Hang on—hey Donny! Could you say into the translator that we need three judges for a dance competition?”

And that was how Raph found himself dancing with his clone, with Libby, Fugitoid, and a Neutrino who’d adopted a mostly human appearance, sat to judge. It wasn’t any kind of music he was familiar with, either.

It was shaping up to be one of the weirdest nights of his life, and that was saying something.

Oh, well, might as well make the most of it.

“Hey, don’t worry, I’ll take it easy on you since it’s your first time being a turtle.”

They matched him step for step.

“Alright, you get some pretty good footwork, but can you breakdance?”

They could breakdance.

“Here on earth we like to call this a moonwalk. You ever walked on the moon?”

Their moonwalk looked quite a bit different from his, and involved inflating their feet to make themselves float a little.

He talked less as the music picked up speed. There was no one else in the room; all he had to do was stay moving for longer than her.

When she was still doing spins and he was down to fist pumps, he fell to his knees in surrender. The music slowed to a stop.

“So what happens,” he panted, “If I lose?”

His clone knelt in front of him, then morphed into a humanoid figure to match her friend.

“Wow, you were great!”

He gaped. “You speak English?”

“We pick up languages pretty quickly,” her friend chirped happily. “You have to as a shapeshifter.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Raph acknowledged while his dance partner helped him to his feet.

The scores came in at a dead tie, mostly because Zak, the Neutrino judge, rated Raph so highly. Everyone was in good spirits, and by now all the Neutrinos appeared humanoid. A group of more official-looking ones were telling April they believed her technology would prove life-changing for their home planet. The dancer, Kala, said her and Zak would have to bring her friend Dask on their next visit, and that the three of them may even want to apply for a job here.

Raph listened to all of this with a detached satisfaction; maybe it was good he’d been here tonight, after all.

Donny leaned against him, a quiet show of gratitude.

“It’s been a weird night,” he said.

“Beyond weird,” Raph replied. “You owe me.”

Don gave him a crooked smile. “That’s fair. Want a laser gun?”

Raph shook his head. Don raised his eyebrows.

“What about a new bike?”

Raph motioned him closer so he could tell him quietly.

“Next time, no suit.”

Donny laughed out loud.

“You got it. And I’ll still throw in a new bike, just cause I like you.”

[femmesandhoney]

Genuinely asking why are Americans all talk and no action. Like theres sooooo many ppl just complaining about wages,health-care but then yall aren't protesting or doing anything?????? Like in my country we complain but we also protest. Why aren't the most affected states doing anything fr

this question involves a lot of components you might not even care about but sure okay ill try

a lot of americans are very apathetic to our institutions and/or think the institutions are fine as they are. a lot of right leaning and conservative americans legitimately think anything that minutely resembles a social safety net is socialist commie bullshit and oh why can't everyone just work hard and pick themselves up by their bootstraps. then theres a general american climate of people just not caring about politics, local or national, for various reasons. people often do not pay much attention unless its big buzz event stuff, often pointed out for them by their party.

a lot of people are sick of seeing nothing getting done (generally) in our government, but also people who are tuned in may get burntout from how obviously lobbied to hell everything is. a lot of stuff that gets passed often goes against a lot of american citizens wants or interests. you can see how over time the american public gets apathetic to this.

also notable, you act like we do not protest anything ever, which just isn't true. social movements often come in waves with peaks occuring when prominent events happen. theres always political movement and protests in the states when big shit happens, but there's gonna always be less activity for stuff thats gruelingly slow to change and doesn't really have "large" events attached to it, such as healthcare or minimum wage. not saying no one is fighting for those things as i type this, but most americans usually cannot agree on the best ways to solve these things. these issues are actually nastily hardliner issues that protesting would be...interesting for sure. i think most people think protests wouldn't change many minds and thats likely why we don't see more of it tbh. everyone is set in their red or blue corner.

continuing with the party talk, americans often put the responsibilities of those issues on their representatives, not ourselves. our job is "vote". its their job to go fight for those issues in congress. and i already stated americans are quite lenient about how much they pay attention to their local or national politics in the first place, so you can easily see the downsides to this. "put pressure on ur reps!" you say, well yeah duh, but that would require a majority to care or pay attention to their reps enough to do that. again, i think a lot of americans have a dejected attitude towards government and politics and very little interest in personal civic engagement. the reasons why to that particular element are outside the scope of your question though, but i think it helps explain why you don't see massive nationwide protests for all of our hardliner issues. not to mention protests occur more often at a local or state level rather than national since state interests can vary from national on most issues, making it difficult for outsiders to see the actual social protests or movements occuring within states, so i wouldn't ever say we do not do anything ever. theres lots of active and wonderful politically engagement americans nationwide.

also this is a tangent but you ask why states most affected don't do more and its likely, depending on the issue, a lack of time, energy, and resources. people who are struggling to live and go about their daily lives will find less time, energy, and resources to invest into going out and physically protesting shit. i think thats kind of obvious. and in a country with very little traditions of strong protest culture such as in, say, France, and one that also has strong cultural values of individualism, capitalism, and classical liberalism to a point, well, it all very much explains a lot about what americans prioritize or actually see as a problem or threat.

[calicohyde]

Tagged by @winterandwords to post seven snippets and tag seven people.

[AMNESIA]

"So I think something bad probably happened to me," Richie tells Sandy when he finally realizes that they're something more than people who are sleeping together regularly. Friends, maybe. Like real friends, who know things about each other. "Um," says Sandy, which is a fair response. Richie has kind of sprung this conversion on her out of the blue. He gets nervous, is the thing, and sometimes he can't say what he means unless he can fuck around with something else at the same time. So he's blurted this out while staring at the split screen of a two-player session of Halo 3. "You think?" "Yeah," Richie confirms. "I think. I don't actually remember. You're getting killed." Sandy's head jerks back to the screen, her automatic response, his safety net. She's got a competitive streak, Sandy, and it never sleeps. So she manages, by the very skin of her teeth, to keep her character alive just long enough for Richie to tell her that all his memories from before college have been scooped out of his head like pumpkin seeds out of a Jack-o-Lantern, that he's talked to his parents, and to doctors, and to shrinks, and that the best he can say is - something bad probably happened to him. He doesn't tell her that he has his suspicions about what it must have been, given what he turns into every full moon. (He doesn't tell her that if he's not careful, he'll be the bad thing that happens to somebody else.)

from the idle wilds, currently 4k

"Rough week?" he asks, gently amused at her expense. She nods in agreement, too high strung at the moment to be anything other than earnest. "You wouldn't think learning how to teach classes you literally just graduated from would be so hard," she jokes wanly. He actually laughs and it doesn't even seem fake. His smile and the way the ugly fluorescent lights reflect on his eyes take her breath away. "Expert level major drop," he praises, sardonic now but still as soft as he started. She could compare his cushioned abrasiveness to the plush scratch of wool against her thighs. (She's already that far gone.) "Accounting," he adds, his tone unchanged. "I know, I'm a loser." "I'm wearing a wool skirt to a party I technically wasn't even invited to," Patty counters, feeling a rush at having a way to one-up someone that won't ostracize her. "If you're a loser, so am I." "Well, in that case," he says, with a wide dimpled grin. "I guess we were meant to find each other." Patty gives him the charmed laugh he's looking for. It's easy, comes freely, genuine. Somehow she does feel like she was looking for him. She certainly was looking for someone, after all, and here he is. In his crisp starched shirt and his sweater vest, maybe he was here waiting for her and her sensible flats to walk in.

from summer birds, currently 4k

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"You know, my children-" "I'll fucking cut your tongue out," Ed snaps, cutting that shit off as fast and brutal as possible. He's not a child, hasn't been for longer than most his age, and he doesn't want to be compared to one. He doesn't want Stede's understanding, his lenience - given on the condition that Ed will grow out of this or whatever the fuck else he finds pitiable. Stede stirs his tea with significantly more focus than the task requires. Eventually he mumbles, "That's fair. Don't really know where I was going with that anyway." He laughs, one of his weird ones that might be forced or might not and Ed still can't tell even now. "Quite a poor start." The fight goes out of Edward and he disintegrates into a loose pile of limbs and hair on the table. "We don't have to talk about it," he whines into his arms and the wood beneath them. "We can forget it ever happened. Or pretend it was just tea." "Can we?" Stede asks. Unfortunately, it sounds like a genuine question. Ed leaves it sitting there between his head and Stede's cup, unacknowledged. If he ignores it well enough maybe it will go away. "It's just, you don't seem surprised. So I would presume…?" He leaves that assumption dangling, implicit. He doesn't say out loud he's figured as a matter of course that this has happened to Ed before and therefore will probably happen again. Ed doesn't know whether to be insulted again, or grateful. This must be how it feels to be Izzy. It sucks.

from The Drowning, currently 2k

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Instead he growls, "There's nothing wrong with me." His teeth don't come apart to let the words through. His voice is low again, in a dangerous way now. The blushy pink light that starts creeping in through Keeley's window seems out of place on him. He looks like an entirely different man suddenly. The man he used to be, but the one Keeley herself never quite had to meet face to face. Keeley waits for him to storm out. Or to say something horridly mean she can temporarily hate him for and then storm out. She waits to hear him stomp down the stairs and slam her front door shut behind him, to leave her to collapse into her explosive mixed feelings. But Jamie doesn't go. He stays there like a stone, glaring up at her, with his expression challenging her to just try and move him - if she thinks she can manage it. They stay there in that strange and unexpected stalemate for so long that Jamie's alarm goes off.  Keeley jumps at the sudden noise. Jamie doesn't, but he does look away from her at least, which is an embarrassingly huge relief. Something tells her she wouldn't really like what he was seeing in her right then. She sinks back down into sitting on the bed, letting the alarm go until it stops. It'll go off again in five minutes. "I-" Keeley stutters. Like her voice flipped a switch in him, Jamie's shoulders drop immediately. His face doesn't soften exactly, but it loses that battle-ready edge. "Of course there's nothing wrong with you, I didn't… That's not what I meant." Coolly unimpressed, Jamie folds his arms and raises both eyebrows. It takes Keeley a moment, but not long enough for the alarm to go again, to figure out what he's after. She smiles a little at it, the irony. "I'm sorry, Jamie. I shouldn't have said that."

from take away the glass, currently 45k

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[ALCOHOL ABUSE]

Eddie wakes naturally, roused more by the growing heat than the light. She breathes deeply. She wipes her face on her pillowcase. She reminds herself she's going to meet with Jessica this morning, and brushes her teeth. On a whim, she grabs her dream journal on her way out. Fred still isn't home, so Eddie makes herself an Irish coffee and eats the leftover macaroni cold. She makes her way up the narrow, enclosed staircase to the Watchtower office, her refilled boozy coffee in one hand and her carabiner in the other. She freezes with her key in the hole. The door is already unlocked. Eddie holds her breath, heart racing. Butch she may be, but she's not tough. She can't fight and she's only as strong as it takes to lug the camera and all its gear around town. The most she could do against an intruder is throw her mug at them. But underneath the fearful spike of adrenaline, an insistent curiosity makes itself hard to ignore. They've never had a break-in before. Most witches never do. Their power sinks into the bones of their houses, making them feel almost aware of their visitors. The sensation usually wards off any would-be intruders, even those of the animal variety. It would take someone with a very strong will indeed to pick this lock. Eddie opens the door.

from Curse The Messenger draft 1.4, currently 30k

Ferris sits just inside and watches her. Impulse and rage carried it all the way here, and the latter hasn't died down one bit from arriving. Camille is dangerous, a fast acting poison to the city that Ferris loves. It's spent a century here and it knows every last corner, knows its spirit. Camille Fay is nothing special. Not unusual, no anomaly. She has always been here, and she is everywhere. But all the same, she does not belong. But Ferris is only barely more than a cat. It can't threaten her, and if it did it would be taken as from his master. A bribe is just the same. Both options are beyond Ferris's abilities, unreliable, and implicate someone else. Ferris needs to figure out some other way to protect this city.

from Feline Retribution, complete at 5k

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"You could stay," Fiona says after a pause. The suggestion doesn't sound cautious, but she looks over Kieran's shoulder into the middle-distant line of the trees. Kieran hesitates. He hasn't yet done anything to keep him here permanently ‒ at least not as far as the legends he vaguely remembers have told him. He could leave, still, and return to his safe and ordinary human life. His safe, ordinary, boring, underappreciated life hunting to feed a village that doesn't want him. This world is so much more beautiful, so much more alive, and Fiona is here. And she wants him. Kieran can feel in the way she traces the marks she left in his back, opening them up, that she wants him. "Okay," Kieran agrees. "Yes, I'll stay with you. I'll stay with you forever." Almost before he's finished speaking, Fiona is kissing him again. When she pulls back there is an unbelievably plump blackberry pinched between her fingers, looking almost black against the pale pinkness of her skin. Fiona presses the fairy fruit of her land to Kieran's lips, and Kieran eats it from her hand.

from One Feeling Only, complete at 5k

Sign up here to be tagged when I publish erotica short stories.

I tag @words-after-midnight @second-hand-heaven @drunkkenobi @treesofgreen @ceph-the-ghost-writer @fallenangelontheceiling and @outgridwrites.

[hiiddens]

[ ♛ ]  ° • LIGHT UP THE SKY !

001. what’s a song you can put on repeat & never get tired of?

cherry, rina sawayama — “when they tell you that you've got to stay the same / even though you're not yourself / and you've got somebody else / when they tell you that you've got yourself to blame / even though it's not your fault / but your heart just wants to know, know”

honourable mentions: sunburnt through the glass by prep, cupid (twins ver.) by fifty fifty, whistle by blackpink braveheart

002. a song that instantly lifts your mood when you’re sad.

fermata, oh!gg — “first fermata (rest) in my life / i found the smile i had lost / first fermata (rest) in my heart / although it’s not a perfect world / life changes in relaxation, first attempt”

honourable mentions: after moon by twice flora, paper plane by girls’ generation

003. your favorite song from your all-time favorite artist.

mirror, hyuna — “you want perfection / but the more you want it, the farther you get from it / stop with the endless greed / don’t forget what’s important”

004. a song that inspires or motivates you.

alien superstar, beyoncé — “i'm too classy for this world / forever i'm that girl / feed you diamonds and pearls / ooh, baby / i'm too classy to be touched / i pay them all in dust / i'm stingy with my love (unique)”

005. what’s a song that reminds you of someone?

ok on your own, mxmtoon ft. carly rae jepsen — “it wasn't meant to be / maybe we knew that from the start / i can't complete you, baby / but i'll hold you in my heart”

006. the song that gets you in the mood to party.

summertime, flo — “me and my girls are going in this summer / rolling, rolling in the back of the Hummer / and we gon' do anything we wanna / yeah, we gon' do anything we wanna”

007. your guilty pleasure.

candy, nct dream — “everything’s changed / including my feelings for you / doesn’t mean that i don’t love you / because now I’m going to change myself”

008. a song that’s out of your typical music preference.

jet black heart, 5 seconds of summer — “the blood in my veins / is made up of mistakes / let's forget who we are / and dive into the dark / as we burst into color / returning to life”

009. what do you listen to when you’re in love?

little little, red velvet — “the wind blows past my cheeks / my heart churns because of you / it keeps softly blowing / you shake up my world / this feeling is probably love, love, love”

honourable mention: safety net by ariana grande ft. ty dolla sign

010. do you have song you’ve listened to all your childhood?

remember the time, michael jackson — “do you remember / how we used to talk? / you know we'd stay on the phone at night 'til dawn / do you remember / all the things we said? / like, i love you so, i'll never let you go”

honourable mentions: hide and seek by imogen heap, milky way by boa

011. is there a song your parent / sibling / friend / etc. introduced you to that you love?

back to life, zayn — “what if we never met / what if i never saw her / ‘cause i've been burning up for so long / in a world that just keeps getting colder”

012. a song you didn’t expect to like.

lucky one, exo indigo — “at the raging moment / and you stop in my world / you are my only one / the moment i discover you / you shine more radiantly / i’ll be the lucky one”

013. what song would be your ‘intro’ music?

shooting star, xg — “uh, everything i do, i do it a1, flawless / make 'em go insane, pandemonium riot / always looking fresh / got that green in my diet / head to my toe / shinin' like canary diamonds ”

014. what song best represents your outward look —  or your attitude towards life?

the state of dreaming, marina — “if only you knew my dear / how i live my life in fear / if only you knew my dear / how i know my time is near”

015. the song with your favorite lyrics.

i, taeyeon fleur ft. verbal jint — “but strong girl, you know you were born to fly / tears you’ve cried, / all of the pain you’ve felt / for the day you’ll fly even higher, / it’s to prepare you”

honourable mention: been though by exo indigo

[partiallyinsideout]

The whole system here is made to force us to work or die. Our food is trash, our air and water is bad too, so our health is terrible. And with healthcare being tied to employment if you lose your job you lose your healthcare. You can get medicaid and hopefully get your health back on track, but you're forced to stay in poverty or lose that healthcare too.

Even if you're able bodied, the majority of Americans are 1 paycheck away from being homeless, and being homeless is basically criminalized. You can't get a job without an address, or if you're convicted of a crime (like sleeping outside).

Employers pay so terribly that most people need multiple jobs just to survive, so we're exhausted. To get good paying jobs you need connections, and higher education which is cost prohibitive for many. Childcare is also so expensive that it's often better for someone to be a stay at home parent, and one income can barely support a family. What used to be considered good pay is now barely enough to scrape by for many.

If you're healthy and able to risk losing your job, getting a union together is still a long shot because of union busting. They will fire anyone and everyone, and get replacements immediately because they keep us poor so people will still take those jobs because some pay is better than none. Even if everyone protests, our police is so militarized they'll gladly murder civilians, and have done so before. Yeah we can risk our lives, but if your paycheck supports someone else you're also risking their lives because we don't really have a financial safety net.

Even voting doesn't do much because with a 2 party system our options are usually someone who won't do anything to help or protect us, or someone who will actively harm us. Our politicians are bought by corporations and don't care about our best interests. Gerrymandering is also a big thing so the minority can easily win and have all the power. Not to mention how hard they make it for many people to be able to vote.

Also felons can't vote, and with our for profit prison system that gives corporations slave labor they try to imprison as many people as they can and keep them in that cycle.

We're told we have a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, but that's really only true for a minority of Americans. We also have so much propaganda drilled into us since we're children, so many people are blind to these things. We're held captive here financially so getting out is impossible for most.

Every system here is against us. Of course we want universal healthcare, better working conditions, livable wages, free childcare, free education, affordable housing, healthy food, clean air and water, and to not be constantly afraid of being murdered by cops, but we live in a fascist oligarchy. We aren't lazy, we're prisoners of capitalism.

Meanwhile in France:

[ashlee-bonfamille-lyons]

A Final Pinky Promise {Tiny Dancers}

Ashlee says goodbye to Nemo.

@justkeepdancing-nemo

Date: A couple days after the showcase.

Ashlee

So this was it. Boxes were moved into a truck and the movers were heading out. Juniper was asleep in her carrier by the door. Her room felt empty, even with some of her items left, even with it being a place she could come back and call her room, it was still just a fraction of the life she had created in here.

It was empty, it was scary.

She was leaving everything she considered her safety net.

She was leaving the first place she ever felt safe, she was leaving one of the people that made her feel so safe.

And even though she didn’t want to think that far ahead she couldn’t help it.

She had to because this was it. 

Staring at her room one more time Ashlee took a deep breath.

“I’m not sure I’m ready.”

NEMO: 

Ashlee was leaving. 

Ashlee was leaving. 

No matter how many times Nemo had told himself this to prepare himself, it never really felt real. Not as long as he saw Ashlee around – going to Hatter’s for coffee and tea, or meeting up in the uni dance studios to mess around. It’d been a really good summer, honestly. It was a summer of dance. A summer of laughing. A summer of Nemo-and-Ashlee.

But today, Nemo had woken up to a chill in the air, the sign of coming autumn, and he knew that the summer was over. And Ashlee was leaving. Here he was, in her doorway, staring at her empty room and for the first time, he started to believe it.

Nemo felt his throat get a little tight, but he was determined to be wrong. That’s what he needed to do for Ashlee, yeah? As her partner, Ashlee was supposed to rely on him - to know that if she jumped, Nemo would catch her.

“Aw, I’m sure you are!” Nemo said with a bit of mock cheer. He grinned brightly, trying to make Ashlee grin too. “It’s gonna be amazing! Maybe a little scary at first, but just think. Soon you’ll have all kinds of cool shopping around, and like, ten different coffee shoppes to choose from. That’s nutty. In a good way!” 

Ashlee

Ashlee did smile at him, but for once she didn’t need him to be her cheerleader. This was sad, and while it was going to lead to good things and she was proud of it, she was also sad she was leaving her dance partner behind.

Who knew what the future would hold for them? Would they get time to meet up and practice and make routines like they did before?

She hoped so.

“You’re going to be able to experience it too you know. Maybe not as often as we like but you’ve always got a place to stay and you can see all the ten different coffee shops in walking distance.” Ashlee mused nudging him once.

NEMO: 

Ah, yeah. That was true– but also felt so unrealistic to Nemo. He knew that he was probably being silly, but London felt just as far as Paris to him. Or Seoul. Or anywhere else where his friends had gone off to, and then forgot him.

No, no, they didn’t forget him. But… it had never felt the same, after they had left. 

Would things change with Ashlee too? 

Yes. Yes, he knew that it would.

His smile softened a bit, and Nemo wasn’t able to hide some of the worry that crept in. “Ah yeah– yeah, I guess I’ll have to save up and come visit you sometime, huh?”

Ashlee

Ashlee moved to rest her head on his shoulder just for a moment, she would miss moments where she could do this. She wasn’t sure she would ever trust anyone the way that she trusted Nemo. “Exactly, and then I can show you all around the place and dance in some of their studios. It’ll be fun.” 

But even she was having a hard time making that sound upbeat and joyous. 

NEMO: 

Yeah, it would be fun, if it happened. It was just that now Nemo was used to life happening. Everyone had to pick priorities and a lot of the time those priorities didn’t involve fucking around with friends, having sleepovers, going to parties– or even dancing just to dance, with no show to practice for. He couldn’t resent Ashlee in case it happened with her too. If she got busy, if she made new friends, if she forgot him– as long as she was happy, that’s what mattered. Or, that’s the kind of supportive friend that Nemo wanted to be. So he smiled again, though Ashlee couldn’t see it since she was still leaning on his shoulder. “Yeah, that sounds awesome. And– you’ll be back here too, right? Maybe– for Christmas?” 

Ashlee

“Yup, I’ll come back for holidays. Whichever ones I can make it.” She was too sure considering performances but she would make it work.

Holding out her hand she took Nemo’s in hers giving it a tight squeeze. “I’m not gonna disappear okay? This is my everything and my safe place. You’re my safe place and I’m not giving that up any time soon okay.”

NEMO: 

Nemo was trying to be breezy. He was trying to be bright. He wanted to be a beautiful last memory for Ashlee– something she could look back on and smile about. He didn’t want to make her feel guilty or make her cry or anything like that–

But she knew him too well. And so of course her words made Nemo’s eyes fill with tears, and before he could stop it, they slipped down his cheeks. 

It was just so, so hard to say goodbye. 

“I–I know,” he said, voice wobbly. He sniffed. “Sorry, I– I just– you’re my safe place too. I– I dunno what I’m gonna do without you here.” 

Ashlee

Ashlee’s bottom lip wobbled as Nemo’s voice wobbled, she didn’t know how she would do this, but she knew she had to. So she would power forward. 

“You’re going to be Nemo, and you’re going to excel, One way or another.” Ashlee stated sternly. She believed it too. He deserved it, he had racked up so much good karma that she believed life has to work out for him.

“And I promise, I’m a call away, a text away if you ever need anything, if you ever wanna gossip, just hit me up, okay? I still wanna know everything.” Ashlee offered lifting her head and with her free hand wiping away any tears that wanted to fall. 

NEMO:

Nemo wanted to argue. Just look at him so far – look at how much he struggled, how hard everything was when he didn’t have his friends to lean on. He didn’t know how to excel, not really. He only knew how to mess up. He needed Ashlee around to make sure he didn’t mess up. But Nemo knew how selfish that was. He was almost twenty now, and he couldn’t lean on Ashlee, or use her ambition to push him ever forward. He had to reach down deep inside himself and find that drive for himself. He knew that he had it. That’s why he and Ashlee got along anyway– because as different as they seemed on the surface, deep down, they were the same. They were ambitious. And they loved to dance. He just had to love dance without her.

Nemo swallowed again. “I–I will, I promise. Probably more than you want me to.” He sniffled again, another tear sliding down his cheek. He smiled though. “You’re gonna think I’m so annoying, I’m gonna text you so much.” 

Ashlee

Ashlee shook her head, that’s what she wanted, what she needed. She needed to be able to stay connected to this town, to the people here. “You underestimate how much I want that. You’re going to get all the drama from my side too.” Ashlee stated simply before wrapping her arms around Nemo in a tight hug.

She didn’t want to say goodbye but they only had so much time left and she was going to make the best of it. “I love you, okay? Never forget that.”

NEMO:

Nemo put his arms around Ashlee and hugged her back. He shut his eyes, and pretended this wasn’t goodbye at all. 

It was. It also wasn’t. Realistically– he’d probably see Ashlee sooner than he thought, right? He’d definitely talk to her sooner. He could almost imagine it. In a few hours, his phone would light up with pictures from her new flat. In a day or so, she’d send him a video of herself practicing, and ask him for tips. In a month, his phone would ring and ring and Ashlee would wish him happy birthday. He’d miss her, but he’d also always be connected to her. There was something about the two of them that was– meant to be. Nemo couldn’t explain that, but he did believe it. Nemo pulled back then, put his hands on Ashlee’s shoulders and smiled through his tears. “I love you too, Ashlee. Thanks for being the best dance partner I could ever have. Let’s– promise each other that we’re gonna dance together again someday, okay? Even if it’s just for fun.” He held up his pinky. “Cuz all I wanna do is dance with you.” 

Ashlee

Ashlee blinked back tears but she nodded. That was an easy promise, something that Ashlee wanted with her whole heart. Nothing would stop her, after all both of them were stubborn and resilient as hell and if they wanted it. They would get it.

Holding up her pinky she locked it with his. A finale suited for both of them, with promises to the future.

“I promise- we’re going to dance together again someday.”

[wheresgamora]

crush

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

peter parker x f!reader

summary: spider-man hangs out with his crush all the time but this time it's different

warnings: swearing??

peter has been crushing over y/n for a very long time to the point where it's not even just a crush anymore, he's full on in love but he could never have the courage to tell her

luckily, he still gets to be with her, through spider-man.

nobody really remembers how it happened, it just did and for some reason y/n and spider-man are friends now. she's never really told anyone cause she's not that type of person. besides, he was just a normal person

she obviously doesn't know it's peter and he plans on it staying that way, spider-man was like his safety net. if they ever get into a fight, there's spider-man, if something's up with her, there's spider-man, anything that happens, spider-man knows about it

for once, peter was at a party and everyone was called to gather around in a circle. they decided to play spin the bottle, which made peter extremely nervous since y/n was part of the circle

once it was y/n's turn she span the bottle and of course, it had to land on peter. she wanted to lean in until she noticed how peter was frozen and clearly did not want to be kissed

"if peter doesn't want a kiss i'd like to volunteer instead of him" some guy said annoyingly

peter simply got up and left, y/n wasn't gonna let him ruin her day so she got the other guy and kissed him, making everyone laugh at how the guy was so happy

after the party was over, y/n went home and headed upstairs, to the roof. it's usually where she waits for spider-man to show up so they can talk and hang out

as usual, spider-man swung by when patrol was over.

"hey" he said, stuttering in the beginning since it felt awkward to talk after what happened

she didn't answer though

"what's up, talk to me" he said

she looked down, she looked pissed off and sad at the same time

"there's this guy, i don't know what his problem is- i mean, i was at this party today and we were playing spin the bottle, alright? so i spin the bottle and it lands on him and instead of kissing me like a normal person does he just- left! who does that? i don't get it! is- is it me? am i just that type of person that nobody wants to deal with? he always avoids me and it's just- it's me isn't it." she said

"what?" he said, shocked. he never realized how much he affected her with his actions

"i...i mean he probably doesn't mean it that way, right? maybe he just gets nervous around you cause you're so pretty and sweet and literally my dream girl and i would never hurt you i was just scared cause i've loved you for years and i don't know how to tell you-"

her head perked up in shock

"what? are-are you- oh my god, peter is spider-man?! all those things i said- oh my god this is so- you probably think i'm such a weirdo this is so embarrassing-"

peter stood there just staring at the girl who was spiraling. once she stopped talking and looked at him, he burst into laughter.

"what- why are you laughing?!"

"cause you're crazy! i tell you that i've been in love with you for years and all you care about is what i think of you cause you act like your weird normal self around me?"

"cause- i don't know what if you stop feeling the same way and i would be in love with someone who doesn't love me back-"

"did you just say you love me?"

"maybe..."

peter then used his webs on her and pulled her to his chest

"say it" he said

the girl smiled shyly in looked down

"please?"

she looked up and smiled

"i love you" she whispered

"again?"

"i love you"

"one more time, please?"

"i love you, peter."

"yeah that's it" he said, chuckling as the two shared a kiss

a/n: requests are open babes so don't be shy cause i have no ideas anymore help

[bilbobagginsomebabez]

op is this a question about the neoliberal position (like sitting Party Line Democrats) or everything left of "kill them without mercy or compassion." because that's an extremely wide political range for a very diverse group including public, private, and nonprofit actors. includes everything from the new govt-crated homeless camps in San Francisco (disturbingly similar to Sanctuary Zones from Star Trek DS9) to the murmurings about that for-profit start-up a few years ago that wanted to contract with cities and build tiny-home developments to house homeless populations to the nonprofit I'm currently at where the best practice approach is literally Give Them Free Housing And Money For As Long As We Can.

you'd never hear a party-line, moderate democrat address homelessness unless cornered. they talk about "joblessness" instead. they don't have any answers or thoughts about it much beyond that. farther left, they'll talk about infrastructure and social safety net expansion to prevent homelessness, but they'll rarely offer solutions to current homeless problems because they're either too far left or an obvious on-the-nose human rights abuse like the sanfran camps. homelessness is actually a really interesting political issue because any substantive exposure makes it clear that the only effective solutions require systemic change. like you can either treat them like humans and provide extremely vulnerable people with money and food and medical care (ew we don't take care of other people ever) or treat them like a nuisance and round them up like pests into a camp to die out of sight (too reminiscent of all the WWII camps, bad optics, people usually don't like it). it's politically toxic, they literally cannot suggest even mildly effective solutions that do not include deep and far reaching criticisms of our society. because the second you give a group of people permission to 'give up' on 'social productivity' without being forced into death, your society that is very culturally defined by forced labor has some big questions to face up to. so the farthest they'll go is encourage homeless people to "take advantage of services" and try to restabilize. their party line is near total neglect, which is less outright than "kill them without mercy or compassion" but as morlock-holmes said, still not an immediately available political alternative.

private sector 'investments' are always a doomed-to-fail shit show because you cannot turn a profit on the homeless. no idea what happened to those tiny homes but i doubt they were ever successfully implemented.

on a practical level, the government itself barely does anything with homelessness. an easy bench mark is we do not typically have government-run homeless shelters for the most part. that's brand-spanking-new and to this point, the majority of work done with and for homeless populations is conducted through religious orgs and nonprofits, which are approved not as contractors providing a standardized federal service but as independent grant-recipients and are also a quality crapshoot. you might end up in salvation army, which attempts to control and surveil its occupants (no drugs rules sending community members into withdrawal and endangering their lives) or a good one like mine who prioritizes rapid rehousing initiatives with trauma-informed case management and support. so yeah it's fucked and unlikely to get unfucked soon, but there are a lot of organizations out there doing fantastic, compassionate work with homeless community members.

important to note: the american political overton window represented in our government is far-right to center-left and remains that way largely because of voter suppression, gerrymandering, and the prison industrial complex. solutions to homelessness that hinge on the previously-homeless living long, healthy, happy lives reside in legitimately leftist political ideologies.

here's an example (US parties compared to German):

and this looks kinda bad, but it's a serious improvement from a few years ago, when our democrats were center right:

in this one, you'll notice that in 2008, british conservatives and american democrats looked almost identical.

I just don't really understand the modern discourse on homelessness. I mean the conservative position is pretty well staked out at this point (send the police to harass, arrest, and occasionally kill them) but what's the liberal messaging here? Affordable housing, sure, but seriously, what's the plan for people who can't work or otherwise make money?

[apocalypticgargoyle]

𝙅𝙀𝘼𝙇𝙊𝙐𝙎𝙔 | 𝙠𝙖𝙧𝙡 𝙟𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗𝙨 (18+)

∘ request(s):

Ooh maybe edgy!karl teaching skateboarding :o. I’m also in uni and I remember my first frat party was quite interesting 😂 -🦋

ahhhh part four of your edgy karl was soooo good!!! could i get jealous karl? maybe someone else is hitting on the reader at a party

please please please more edgy!karl if u can. like maybe where him and reader get into a fight because he gets like jealous and he just shows the reader who they belong to fjsjjsj thankyouuu !! 🤍🪐 x

∘ pairing: edgy!Karl Jacobs x fm!reader

∘ warnings: nsfw (18+ minors dni), smut, light bdsm, jealous, somewhat toxic behavior, crude language, frat boys (again), mentions of masterbation, biting, domination, spanking

∘ word count: ~3200

∘ links: 𐐪 ao3 𐑂 𐐪 previous part 𐑂 𐐪 submit an edgy!karl edit 𐑂

a/n: not me having to watch daddy tony hawk tutorials for this bc I'm uncultured and only skateboarded for like three months when I was 14 :)))

thank you for all the requests (especially 🦋 ily). if any of you have ideas for what I should call this series, lemme know! as always, have a great week and happy reading :)

♡ ᵍᵉⁿᵉ

The parking lot behind the campus union was barren. The morning dew in the air left a sweet smell to combine with Karl’s cologne as he walked beside you, his arm bumping yours as he listened to you nervously ramble on about one of your classes. You weren’t sure why, but the thought of falling on your ass in front of Karl terrified you more than anything. This man had degraded you and made you completely submit to him in the past, yet you were worried that not being able to master his ~craft~ would ruin his image of you. 

He dropped his skateboard, his feet settling on it lazily as he rolled beside you. You watched quietly as he stopped, kicking his foot down on the front of his board so it popped into his hand. “You won’t fall. I’ve got you,” he joshed, tugging on your hand so you were in front of him. 

He set the board down, his hands going to your hips as you stepped on it. His fingers dipped under the hem of your sweatshirt, your skin lighting up at his touch as if his hands belonged on you. “You look like an anemic Victorian boy. I don’t trust you as a safety net,” you grumbled, your hands covering his. You knew, roughly, how to skate from a middle school phase you had. Karl only promised to teach you a few tricks, but to say you were rusty would be an understatement. 

He chuckled darkly, nudging you closer to the middle of the board and peering over your shoulder to look at your stance. “I’ve fucked you without your feet touching the floor. I think I can catch you before you hit the ground, baby,” he chided, making you scoff. 

Your cheeks flushed with heat at his words. “Dirty, dirty boy,” you mumbled. He instructed you on how to kick the board up to where you needed it. His words were simple and almost plain like he knew you could figure it out. You attempted to push the board up, but crashed into Karl’s arms, your back thumping against his chest. 

He giggled slightly as he straightened you up, setting you back on the board as his foot kept it from rolling out from under you. His hands hovered over your hips again as he moved his foot, leaving you to balance on your own. “If you fall correctly, people will just think you were giving really good head,” he jested. You shoved his arms away at his words as he laughed at his own joke. 

You attempted a few more times and nearly had it down before Karl’s hands were on your hips again, giving you further instructions. You fought not to smile as his breath ghosted against your neck. You knew he cared about teaching you something that---on paper---was seemingly so easy, but his vulgar teasing was beginning to swarm your head. With his next steps set as your goal as well as the feeling of his hold on you, you kicked the board up and attempted to jump with it. While your brain was up to speed, your feet weren’t, sending the board out from beneath you and you to fall into its place. 

Karl snorted as choked back a laugh at you scrapping your hands on the concrete. “Come on, don’t be a pussy. Try again,” he chided, voice uneven and laced with whatever dark humor he was getting from watching you do this. 

You rolled your eyes playfully, letting him tug you up in front of him. As you wobbled on the board once again, you let his hands dig into your sides. Obviously, it seemed that he actually was worried about dropping you again, despite the fact that he was holding back some kind of sick laugh. “You would be great at teaching a kid how to ride a bike,” you quipped, the fact that he called you a pussy seeping into your mind. 

You gasped slightly as you slipped again, this time Karl’s arms wrapping around you tightly, pressing your body against his. “Awe, you want me to put a baby in you, pet?” He jeered with his lips near your ear. You shrugged out of his grip, breaking up your indecent thoughts at his comment. 

You could feel the heat rising to your ears as you balanced on his skateboard again. “Stop, you perv,” you deflected, hoping he couldn’t tell how hard you were having to bite back a smirk. 

After your skateboarding escapades, you sat typing away at your computer, Karl occasionally looking over his phone to peer at you. His legs were thrown lazily on either side of you as he stretched out on his pillows. 

An alarm went off on Karl’s phone, startling you in the process. He fought against smirking at your surprise as he sat up, crawling over to you. “Okay, I gave you two hours,” he stated, leaning forward to press his lips against yours and gently close your computer. The taste of him on your tongue was like a drug for you, leaving you constantly wanting more. 

You smirked into his kiss as your brain finally caught up with you. “I hope that document saved, asshole,” you groaned, pushing him back into his pillows as he chuckled at you. His fingers dragged up the length of your thighs, squeezing the flesh in his hands as you straddled him. “Fucking weirdo, timing me. Who are you, my dad?” You teased, pressing a kiss to his neck and digging your fingers into his hair. 

He moaned lowly, grinding against you. “Oh fuck yeah. Call me daddy,” he cantered. 

“No,” you answered simply. You sat up, reaching over to his top drawer in search of protection, but running your fingers over a lacy garment instead. Your brows knitted together as your gaze shot to the drawer, your underpants dangling from your finger. Karl tucked his hands behind his head, looking up at you nonchalantly as your mind flashed with memories of your time in the bathroom. 

Before you had the opportunity to ask him what he was still doing with them, his door popped open to reveal one of Karl’s roommates, his name beginning with a D but slipping your mind. “What are you guys doing in here?” He asked with a rather dopey smile, gesturing to Karl still between your legs. “Everyone’s downstairs, come on.” You and Karl shared a look as he left. 

You leaned back down to him, kissing him briefly before pressing your lips to his neck again. “Wanna come over instead?” You suggested softly, your lips ghosting over his ear. 

Karl loped down the stairs in front of you, a heavy layer of smoke hanging in the air above your heads. A mass of people crammed themselves together, finding solace in each other after the long week. If you weren’t so hung up on getting into Karl’s pants, you might have considered joining them. 

Before the two of you could reach the door, someone called out for Karl. Their voice boomed over the loudness of the music, making Karl wince slightly. His face flattened into a frown as “Todd” waved at the two of you. Karl took a few slugging steps to stand close enough to Todd’s group that they wouldn’t have to yell at each other. You settled your hand on Karl’s hip as you wrapped your hand around his waist, leaning against him. Todd’s eyes traced over you. 

He wet his lips. “You guys leaving already?” He asked, leaning back in his chair and accepting the joint offered to him. From an outsider’s perspective, he looked like the king of the castle. Luckily, you knew better. “Come on, play a game with us!” He suggested, patting the empty spot beside him. Even though you couldn’t see his face, you could tell Karl was rolling his eyes. “I got a seat warmed up for you, baby girl,” he nodded towards you. 

You perked an eyebrow in his direction and Karl slipped his hand into yours nonchalantly. “Thanks, but no,” Karl stated. 

“Come on, Karl. Don’t make me pull pin.” At Todd’s words, Karl groaned reluctantly, the sound barely audible. You furrowed your brows at him. “Fifteen minutes. We were gonna play Never Have I Ever.” 

You leaned towards Karl. “What’s pulling pin?” You mumbled. 

“Flexing rank,” he grunted back. He tugged you with him to join the group. Before you could sit down, Todd pulled you into the spot beside him. You laughed nervously, watching as Karl’s features darkened as he sat across from the two of you. Todd handed you a drink, which you took but avoided sipping out of. 

A boy beside Karl piped up. “Okay, so never have I ever graduated high school. My degree is literally fake.” The boy smiled before taking a drink, making you giggle slightly. Todd draped his arm around the back of the couch where you were sitting. He wasn’t touching you exactly but every ounce of his being was getting under Karl’s skin. 

Todd smugly shook his head. “No, Zeke. Those aren’t the rules. You have to say something that’s not true about you. Like…” he trailed off slightly, his gaze settling on you before his mouth twisted into a smirk. “Never have I ever slashed someone’s tires.” 

You humored him with a subtle smile as if to ask if he was serious. He gestured towards Karl, who took a drink. You bit back a grin. “Well, never have I ever masturbated to a girl my roommate’s sleeping with,” Karl retaliated. Your eyes grew wide, suddenly happy to watch the event unfold before you. 

Todd took a drink after glaring at Karl. He leaned closer to you, this time his arm dropped to pull you against his side. “Do you wanna take a turn?” You shook your head, flashing your eyes to Karl before looping your fingers with Todd’s. Karl chewed the inside of his cheek, looking like he was holding back another laugh. “Alright, I’ll go.” Todd brought your hand up to his lips, kissing your palm. “Ah, I know. Never have I ever betrayed the secret oath of the frat and called the police.” 

Karl took another sip, his eyes on you. “Yeah, because never have I ever set the house on fire trying to light a bong,” he answered, making you snort. 

You let your free hand settle on Todd’s knee. “Awe, I’d light your bong for you,” you chided, making Todd laugh as he took a drink. 

“I bet you could do a lot for me, Princess,” he flirted, his lips nearing your ear. You raised your eyebrows in Karl’s direction, who was sitting with his chin in his hand. His expression was darkly entertained as you flirted with Todd. “Speaking of,” Todd looked to Karl again. “Never have I ever fucked someone on my roommate’s bed,” he teased, tucking his nose in the crook of your neck. 

Karl smirked. “You’re right, you probably haven’t,” he stated simply, downing the rest of his drink. Todd tensed slightly beside you. Karl stood, ruffling the hair of one of the other Brothers that were in the group before holding his hand out for you to take. As the two of you left, you heard one of the guys whistle and say something about never having peed in a pool before. 

As the two of you left the house, you walked in time with Karl’s heavy steps, swinging your entwined hands as if you were completely oblivious. “I can’t believe I made you jealous,” you taunted. You could practically see the steam rolling off his shoulders as he opened the passenger car door for you. Before you could slip into the seat, Karl’s hand gripped the back of your neck, bringing you to press your lips roughly against his. He pinned you between him and the cool metal of the car as the taste of beer spread across your tongue. 

His fingers dug into your hips, his other hand tightening around your throat. The coolness of his tongue ring was a welcomed sensation as you attempted to find friction against his hips. Your fingers moved to close around his wrist as he pulled away, leaving you gasping for air. His face was expressionless as his gaze danced from your lips to your eyes. “I’m going to fuckin’ ruin you for the way you acted,” he ribbed, stepping away from you. 

You nearly slid down the side of the car at his words. “Okay,” you whispered, heat rising to your cheeks and ultimately to your core. 

Karl’s calm exterior followed you until you finally got your apartment door open. Karl pinned you against the wood of your bedroom door, reaching to twist the lock as his lips began to commandeer your own. His hands dragged up your thighs beneath your skirt, squeezing at the flesh roughly. He yanked your shirt off, grinding his hips up and against yours as his teeth moved to nip at the skin of your neck before returning to badger your lips. 

The taste of beer on his lips blended with your flavored chapstick as your tongue slipped into his mouth. In a mess of tugging and biting each other, your body melted into his rough grasp. You wanted whatever repercussions his twisted mind could come up with. You wanted him to do whatever he wanted to you. You fought against diving your hands into his jeans to beg him to continue, but he broke away from you as you fought to catch your breath. 

Your lips were buzzing as the feeling of him still lingered. He brought his hand up to your jaw, tipping your chin up to him. “Fucking slut,” the devil’s grin painted across his face before he continued, pressing his lips against yours once more, his grin dragging your bottom lip between his teeth. “You act like I don’t fucking own you,” he nearly growled, his face hovering over yours as his hand squeezed your throat. You moaned quietly as he regulated your breathing with his hand. You wanted to drink in his dark, commanding appearance. 

He pushed you back on the bed, making you instinctively crawl up towards the pillows. He smirked slightly, undoing his belt and slipping it into his hands. He put the garment on your bedside table. After tugging his shirt off, he was on top of you again, pushing you into the pillows and the fluffy comforter. Karl’s lips seared yours, showing you how much command he had over your body. He ground his hips against yours, the fabric of his jeans digging into you to elicit a moan echo from your mouth. You could feel his erection hardening against your leg, the tension deep within you tightening at the prospect of what he was going to do to you. 

His fingers tugged at your skirt, gripping the material in his fist and dragging it down your body as if it was nothing. He flipped you, your elbows crowding the pillows as you felt him sit on your back, snapping the belt in his hands again. You let out a short breath as Karl’s nails raked up your back before his fingers dipped in your hair, tugging your head back to look at him. “I want you to scream my name tonight,” he groaned. You obliged as he dropped his grip on you. 

He pulled your wrists between the bars of your headboard before binding you to the metal with his belt, yanking the leather to sinch against your skin. He dropped his head to press his lips against your shoulder, a tender nod of affection you knew would be the last. You leaned on your side to watch him sit back on his knees to unbutton his jeans. “Be gentle,” you leered, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth to fight your grin again as you watched him spit into his hand and stroke himself in preparation.

He chuckled. “I’ll take good care of you, sweetheart,” he murmured darkly through a smirk. He pulled your hips up and against his own, forcing your face into the mattress. Your hands tightened around the metal bars, as he angled himself at your entrance before driving himself into with an act of force you knew you deserved. A moan of his name slipped past your lips as his fingers dug into your hips, thrusting into you to drive himself deeper into you. “That’s right. I want the neighbors to know who’s fucking you,” he groaned, snapping his hips against yours. 

Moans of pure bliss escaped your lips as his head neared yours. Karl used your hips as leverage for his unwavering pace, leaving you a mess of pleasure beneath him. His lips found their way to your neck as he nipped against the sensitive skin. You wanted him to mark you, to claim you, and he deserved to. His hand from your hair became wrapped around your throat as he began to reach his peak. 

His hand slapped your ass with such force you knew there was a handprint, but you were too overwhelmed with the noises escaping his lips and your climax threatened to disobey your control to be concerned with the sting. If anything it threatened to push you over the edge. Your hands pulled against the leather of his belt as he pounded into you. 

Your toes began to curl as he leaned over you, his breath fanning against your shoulder as you bit back heavy moans of pleasure. Karl’s hand was knotted in your hair again, his other fisting the sheets beside you. “Who’s making you feel this good? Huh?” You moaned out his name as he punctuated his sentence with the thrusts of his hips. “That’s right, you fucking slut.” You tightened around him, your orgasm sweeping over you with an element of shock. 

You could practically hear Karl’s smirk as he moaned at the sight of you coming undone beneath him. He continued to ride you, finishing rather abruptly. He pressed his lips between your shoulder blades before loosening the belt around your wrists. Your back popped as you were finally able to move freely. He bit back a chuckle as you gingerly snuggled beneath the covers beside him. You slipped your hand across his torso, hugging his side against your chest as he rested an arm behind your head. 

As you laid your head on his chest, his heartbeat began to steady, his fingers lightly brushing against your skin. “I’d rather eat my own feet than sleep with Todd, you know,” you croaked, realizing just how much your voice was weakening, breaking the silence between the two of you. 

Karl chuckled softly. “Me too,” he commented, making you smile slightly. “I’m actually…” he paused slightly before continuing as if searching for what he wanted to say exactly. “I’m actually not sleeping with anyone else.” 

You couldn’t fight the smile spreading across your face. “I’m not either.” You hugged him tighter, letting his fingers twirl into your hair. “I’m good with you.” 

“I’m good with you, too,” he mirrored, a smirk evident in his voice as his other hand traced over the red marks on your wrists from his belt. 

Tags: 

@mrwinemaker @madsbbg @idiotinnit @xxtakechancesxx

[userholland]

all for her [1]

pairing: dad!bartender!tom x female!reader

summary: a single-dad bartender, a supportive best friend and their continuous, unrequited love noticed by his optimistic daughter. is it possible to break a heart they never knew they had?

word count: 13k!

the soundtrack: yellow - coldplay, safety net - ariana grande, it’s okay if you forget me - astrid s, liability - lorde, bye-bye darling - børns

a/n: first fic of 2021! please enjoy this long disaster of angst and will they’s wont they’s lmao. i’m really proud of this one and already working on part 2! feedback is always welcomed ofc 

— masterlist ☆彡

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The smell of a coffee woke up Tom from his deep sleep. He quickly squeezed his eyes shut from the bright sunlight shining in from the window facing him. With his one leg over the arm of the couch and his weak arm pushing into the cushion, he stretched out the kinks in his shoulders, hearing his bones crack throughout the rest of his stiff body. He let out a low groan before he ran his fingers through his dirty curls, pushing them back on top of his head.

A reek of booze overpowered from him, but it was from his clothes and the sprinkles of various liquors stained in it. Working late nights at the bar was slowly becoming a daze and waking up with shooting pains up the ankles than what he began with and it was a few hours with great tips. It was great to have a big pay out for simply making cocktails and serving beer, but he wanted a break to spend time with his one and only.

“Daddy, wake up!” The most angelic and innocent voice spoke.

Tom rubbed his eyes with his palms before his daughter, Summer, jumped into his lap, wrapping her small arms around his neck. He held back his hiss from the pain he left in his legs when she put her weight on him, but all that mattered was that she was there. Remembering why he was doing this. It was all for her.

You smiled as you set Summer’s Paw Patrol backpack on the hook by the door, placing it on top of other miscellaneous things and Tom’s winter jackets. There was always a glimmer in Tom’s eyes when he was with Summer, as if he’d never seen anything so remarkable yet small in one person. She was everything to him so, helping him was the least you could do.

“Someone’s energetic this morning.” Tom chuckled, pushing her hair back to see her sweet face.

“We got up early to see the duckies at the park!” She smiled as Tom lifted her like she was a feather, sitting her on his hip. She leaned her head on his shoulder as they walked to the kitchen.

“Oh, yeah?” Tom asked, glancing at you pouring coffee into two patterned mugs. 

“Yeah, Y/N promised.” Summer sang and Tom grinned, “And we always keep our promises, right?” he sweetly spoke, winking at you as you pushed his coffee cup toward him.

Tom sipped it, the bold brew warming up his throat, “Hmm, why don’t you get dressed for school and we’ll grab something on the way for breakfast.” He told Summer, putting her on the ground.

“Okay, daddy.” She quickly said before running to her room down the hall.

He took another long sip of his favorite morning brew, a satisfied and low groan passing his lips. Tom tilted his head back before looking over at you and the sweet smirk painted on your lips.

“You always make it perfect.” He grinned, quickly taking another sip.

“Then where’s my tip?” You cocked your left eyebrow and he rolled his eyes, putting his cup back down.

“How about a bigger slice of cake at Summer’s birthday party?” Tom joked.

“Didn’t make enough last night, even in those obvious tight shirts you wear?” You retorted, giggling as you sat on the bar stool at the kitchen island.

Tom chuckled, but he nodded, “It’s not as packed as it used to be, still keeps me busy. But, all I wanted to do was come home… see Summer. Surprise her, maybe.” He sounded defeated, loose and dirty curls falling as he looked down at his feet.

“Well, if it makes you feel better, she always misses you. Sometimes, she even asks me to go to the bar so she can visit you, but then I have to explain to her how she’s too young, but she thinks it’s because she’s too short.” You explained, a laugh following and Tom grinned, “That’s my girl.”

There was no one you could think or even imagine Tom loved more than her. She was the reason he got out of bed every morning with a smile on his face or tried to come home before midnight to tuck her in and check under the bed for monsters. He kissed her once on the forehead, once on the nose and then scattered kisses all over her bright and soft face, crinkles by her eyes as she shut them tight while she squirmed and giggled. He knew that with time, she would eventually be too old for those things so he wanted every second to count, wanting her to remember all of the good times.

“Daddy, I’m ready!” Her voice echoed in the hall, followed by the same feet stomping against the hardwood.

She spinned around in one of her favorite outfits, a white long-sleeve shirt with her jean overalls and white sneakers she’d grow out of by next year.

“Y/N, can you put my hair up, please?” Summer asked politely, handing you a dark orange scrunchie between her two fingers.

“Of course.” You grin, walking to the couch and sitting on it before she stood with her back toward you.

Tom grabbed his keys off one of the hooks, along with a jacket as you carefully bundled her hair. He watched you pull the scrunchie tight for good measure and Summer kindly thanked you. She ran over to Tom, hugging his side tight and you grinned at the two of them.

“Are you gonna be here after school, Y/N?” Summer asked, Tom halfway through the door and holding her backpack.

“It would be weird if I wasn’t here.” You jeered at her and she giggled, “Yeah! So, maybe we can go see the duckies again! With daddy this time.” She stretched on her tippy toes, her bright eyes shifting to Tom as well as yours. You two loved messing with him sometimes, always reminding him that he was a boy in a girl’s world.

“I’d love to see the duckies, so, sounds like a plan. Alright, say see you soon to Y/N.” Tom smiled at the two of you.

“See you soon!” Summer waved at you by the door.

“Have a good day.” You replied, giving her a wave back before Tom flashed his warm smile at you before leaving.

Every time Summer got downstairs to the lobby, she jumped from the second step while holding Tom’s hand, pretending she was a superhero jumping into action. Her mind painted her doodles into these ordinary places, making it her own world and Tom encouraged her. He didn’t know where she got so much optimism from, but he was happy that she stayed happy. That’s all that mattered.

Tom didn’t know much about Summer’s mom. It was six years ago from one drunken night and next thing he knew, there was a baby on his doorstep with a note. He thought situations like this only happened in movies, and he didn’t know what to do at first, nothing could have prepared him for it. Summer was just a baby, a small being that could barely wrap her hand around his finger, but once he got attached, it wasn’t the question how to give her a better life, but how he could provide for her.

“I think that jump was higher than yesterday.” Tom grinned, holding her hand as they walked through the front doors.

“Yeah!” Summer boasted, scrunching her nose.

He smiled back at her, adjusting her jacket that was slung over his shoulder while his other hand held her backpack with his free hand. Even though they were trying to be quick, Tom taught her to look both ways before crossing any street. She skipped to Tom’s car and he opened the back door on the right side. As Tom put her backpack on the floor, he made sure she was buckled in tight.

“Too tight?” He asked, catching his breath from the pace he was going.

She nodded and he fiddled with the buckles before cautiously closing the door. Tom paced around the front of the car and slipped in, already turning the key in the ignition and looking over his shoulder to back out of the spot.

On the way, they listened to music and talked about whatever they wanted to. No matter what it was, having mac and cheese everyday, different types of dinosaurs or what dogs would say if they could talk, they loved their car rides. It was one of the times nowadays where Tom felt true peace, sometimes thinking about if they could go on a trip together and see whatever she wanted. The desert, the ocean, the hills, anywhere. He was torn between wondering if he was spoiling her or not giving her enough, but he tried his best to detect that even though he didn’t feel like he was around that much recently.

When Tom arrived at school, everyone else was getting in at the last minute so he quickly parked in the first empty spot he saw. After getting Summer out and making sure she had everything, he pulled on his black jacket and zipped it up so no one could see his shirt from the night before. The tiredness was painted on his face, but the cold breeze against his skin woke him up and put a pep in his step.

“Alright, princess. I’ll pick you up later and remember, behave.” Tom kneeled down so he could look up at her. He pulled her overall strap back on her shoulder, flashing her a quick smile.

“Okay, daddy. Is Y/N gonna come too?” She asked, her eyebrows raised.

“Of course, always.”

“Good… ‘cause I like Y/N.”

“Oh, yeah?” Tom chuckled.

Summer nodded, “Mhmm, can she be my mommy?”

Tom’s smile faded slowly, knowing it was an innocent question, but he forced the smile back.

“She’s your friend. She’ll always be there for you.”

He wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to say, but there was limited time and he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Okay.” She simply answered, a small sigh following.

Tom kissed her forehead, “Have a great day, bug. I’ll see you later. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Summer said before wrapping her arms around him, leaning on her tippy toes.

He didn’t want to let her go, but his heart went with her every time they were apart. Summer walked up to one of the teachers who then escorted her into the building, and without fail, she looked over her shoulder at Tom, her dad who looked like he hadn’t slept in days, but still had a smile on his face. Adjustment to kindergarten was tough for both of them at first, Summer crying from the fear and Tom trying to make it through the day without thinking she was hurt or confused. Now, three months later, she was excited to go to school and meet her new friends.

Tom lingered for a few seconds, waiting around until she got through the door and he told himself that he couldn’t just wait there. He exhaled through his lips, able to see his breath from the cold of the morning air. When he started to walk away, a few other parents glared at him and flashed their grins. Tom felt bad for not knowing much about any of Summer’s teachers or classmates’ parents, but he was too wrapped up in his own work.

When he got home, a wave of exhaustion hit him again, making his eyes feel heavy even with a cup of coffee running through his system. You were still sitting at the kitchen island, your legs crossed while you looked through your phone. Tom unlocked the door, your head lifting as he walked in and you grinned at him when he looked at you.

Tom faintly grinned, “Is there still coffee?”

“Just made another pot.” You beamed.

He grabbed his empty mug from before, placing it on the opposite counter. Tom quickly poured it, just the amount he likes and sipped it immediately and hoped for some sudden boost.

Your eyes looked him up and down, “You need to go back to sleep.”

Tom lazily smiled, “I’m okay, I promise.” But, the darkness under his eyes told a different story.

“You need to take care of yourself too..” You trailed and he walked around the kitchen island to sit next to you.

“I’m an overworked, minimum wage paid dad, not a wounded soldier in Iraq. It was just a long night.” He shrugged, licking his lips. He looked into your eyes so you knew that he meant it. Tom was tough, outside and in, and you’ve only seen him hit rock-bottom once so you trusted him when he said he was “fine”. But, you knew there would come another day where it could all get too much, but he never wanted to do it in front of Summer. He had to be strong for her, at least that’s what he kept putting himself up to.

Third grade was the first time you met Tom. A little boy with brown curly hair who always played on the monkey bars. You and your friends sat on the swings across the playground, watching the boys run around and pretend they were soldiers or astronauts. Sometimes you liked pretending you were a bird when you swung so high up, reaching your hand out to see if you could touch the clouds. Imagining how fluffy and soft they were made you want to swing higher and higher, but all birds get a broken wing.

Next thing you knew, you were on the ground and wood chips scattered throughout your hair and all over your clothes. Your chest hurt, your arms hurt, everything hurt and the pain spread throughout your small body. Before you could get up and a teacher could come over, Tom was there, his head covering the sun and shadowing your face from it.

“Are you okay?” He asked, his voice so sweet.

“My arm hurts.” You groaned, Tom helping you up as everyone circled around with the teacher.

Tom walked with you to the nurse, not even bothering to tie his left shoe and he stayed the whole rest of recess to make sure you were okay. You ended up with a broken arm that summer, only from landing on your wrist, but it was enough to need a cast. You didn’t go to school the next day, stuck in bed because of your mom’s anxiety, but you didn’t mind watching TV in a warm blanket.

You kept glancing at your bright green cast, using a ruler to scratch underneath and lifting it up to feel the weight of it. You grazed your nails against the fiberglass, hoping the next nine weeks would fly by until there was a knock on your door.

“Sweetie, you have a visitor.” Your mom said while she opened the door, only to see Tom standing next to her holding a few notebooks and a textbook underneath them. You lifted up in your bed, putting your back against the pillow and your mom left the door open.

He wore a baseball jersey with jeans, his hair gelled back unlike his messy curls, “I brought your homework since you missed school today.”

Tom was nervous since he had a crush on you since the beginning of the year. He transferred in when his parents got divorced, living with his dad since his mom was away for travel. After being friends for a while, you’d find out that Tom’s mom was constantly traveling for work, rarely seeing him a full weekend so Tom was left with his father, but they were always close.

“Thanks.” You blushed, reaching out to take it but he nodded, “Don’t want you to use your arm too much.” He chuckled and set them on your bedside table, “Can I sit on the chair?”

“Yes.” You nodded, “You didn’t have to bring over my stuff.”

“It’s okay. I told my dad that I wanted to. It was a bad fall.” Tom furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes big and brown.

“Yeah, really bad. But this cast is stupid-looking.” You giggled, lifting it off the bed.

He quickly asked, “Can I sign it?”

You raised your eyebrows, surprised by him even asking, “Really?” Feeling your face heating up, your tiny heart beating fast in your chest.

“Yeah!” Tom got up, finding a sharpie marker on your desk across the room.

When he walked back over, Tom leaned in as you lifted your arm up. He put his hand underneath it to support it as he got closer, carefully writing a big “T” to start and you couldn’t help but giggle the whole time. From that point on, he was your best-friend and you were always there for one another or tried to be throughout your lives. Thick and thin or on opposite ends of the earth, you knew to call each other.

You always viewed him as that same kid who cared about you and you saw him project that in everyone else, especially his daughter. Tom said the same of you and how you cared for Summer, wanting her to be happy and safe, knowing that he couldn’t do it alone. In some recent nights, he would come in quietly and see you two sleeping on the pull out couch with the TV still on, usually the rolling credits of a movie. Even though he was tired, Tom would carefully pull a blanket over you two then turn off the lights.

“I’m fine, Y/N. I’d never lie to you.”

“Is that so?” You joked, raising your left eyebrow.

“Yeah.” He chuckled, taking another long sip of coffee.

“So, when you say you didn’t eat the last rice krispy treat yesterday-”

Tom cut off his sip, shaking his head, “I gave the last one to Summer… for lunch.”

“Really? Because I happened to find it in the back pocket of your jeans last night while I was doing a load of laundry.” You glared at him, half-smiling.

“I told you, you don’t have to do that for me… and okay, fine. I took it.” He cracked a smile.

You rolled your eyes, “You’re lucky you’re so endearing. No wonder why you get so many tips.” You brushed your hand over his hair, running your fingers through his loose curls, as you got up from your chair to rinse out your cup.

“I got a bit more than I thought last night, some bachelorette party came in. Told me they would tip me more if I took my shirt off.” Tom raised his eyebrows, smiling at you even with your back toward him.

“Wow, sounds like a fun night. Too bad we missed it.” You joked.

“They were my mom’s age and decently drunk, but that didn’t stop them from tipping more.” Tom smirked, leaning his cup back to finish the last sip.

You turned around, “You’re such a tease, Holland.” and scrunched your nose.

He thought it was cute, a random chill going up his spine. When you walked back over to grab his cup to get him another coffee, you took a step closer when you saw something on his shoulder. You picked it off, brushing his shoulder, but you didn’t notice how the twinkly gaze he had in his eyes.

“Sorry, you had something in your hair.” You giggled, taking his cup and he didn’t reply, just grinned and hoped his face wasn’t red because he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks and neck.

As the day went on, you and Tom cleaned up the living room before watching TV. You both had the day off, but told yourselves you would start planning Summer’s birthday party since it was a week and a half away. You helped Tom, contacting most of the moms in her class and thinking of places to get a nice cake. Without you, he wouldn’t know how to completely pull this off, and he constantly told you that, but you knew that Tom would find a way if something didn’t go right.

Your legs were criss-crossed while he had one leg out and the other bent at the knee, his pad against it while he tried to write legibly. Sometimes, Tom would stick his tongue between his lips when he was concentrating and you noticed since you were kids. Homework, tests, the SATs, even letters to Santa. You knew that he wanted to make this party perfect and Summer was growing up faster as every year went by.

“She’s been talking about ice skating for her birthday, but I don’t have time to. She goes to school in the morning and I work nights, so I feel kind of bad that all I can give her is the party... I went skating all the time with my family and I want to do the same with her.” Tom trails as he puts items on the beat up notepad, making his to-do list for the party.

You shrugged, “I can take her tomorrow while you’re at work.”

Tom nodded, “No, Y/N. I don’t want you to if you don’t want to.”

“Who says I don’t want to?” You chuckled, “I used to go ice skating all the time when I was a kid. I thought I wanted to be some olympian.”

“And what happened?” Tom smiled, glancing up at you.

You nodded, “School, my parents, other things. They thought it was a hobby so they didn’t care anymore.”

“Well, you can take her if you want. Maybe I can meet with you guys after.”

“It’s okay, Tommy. You work hard. You’re there for her when you can be.”

“But, that’s the thing. I want to always be there for her where my hours don’t revolve around what’s best for everyone else, but her. I want to be there for everything from when she wakes up until I put her to bed.” He said with hurt in his voice, a crack toward the last words.

“You’re never gonna lose her, Tom. You have time. I promise..” You trailed, tilting your head and looking at him from across the couch.

Tom grinned, it was weak, but enough to convince you he was alright.

“I’m gonna try to get off work as early as I can. I can promise her that.” He said, almost under his breath while writing down ideas for the party. 

The anxiety running through Tom’s veins mixed with the caffeine made his face head up, his palms feel sweaty and it felt like there was a skip in his heartbeat. You glanced at his foot bouncing against the cushion, placing your foot on-top of it which made him glance up. 

“Tom, relax... It’ll be okay.” You reassured him once again, you always had to say it twice for him to know sometimes, “You’re a great dad, I think you’re allowed to admit that for once.”

He half-smiled, “I do it all for her.”

You two grinned at each other before Tom changed the subject, “Does your friend, Amy, still work at the florist?... Because I know Summer likes white orchids and sunflowers.”

“Pretty exquisite taste for a five year old.” You raised your eyebrow, chuckling as you clicked your pen.

Tom shrugged, “She saw them in a magazine and she said she needed them… even said she wanted them for her wedding.” He faked a shiver and huffed, “That’s the last thing I need to think about, blinking and she’s gonna be twenty-five and I’m helping her pay off student loans.”

“She’s gonna be a smart cookie, just like her daddy, so I think medical school will cover it.” You joked, playfully pushing your foot against his shin and he threw one of his crumpled paper balls at you, his nose scrunched and crinkles forming by his dark-brown eyes.

Later that day, the two of you picked up Summer from school and drove back to the duck pond at the park. Tom walked to the small market down the road, buying a loaf of bread to feed them so you and Summer sat on the park bench, ogling the ducks that were bobbing into the water, pointing out the ones who would submerge and guessing where they would plop back up.

“Did you have a good day at school?” You asked her, glancing down at her.

She giggled before interrupted by a sudden hiccup, “Ye-Yeah.”

You smiled, looking into her big, bright eyes, “Yeah? Did you make anything?”

“Mhmm! Do you wanna see it?” Summer asked in a sweet tone.

“Of course, I’d love to see it.” You said softly, watching Summer unzip her backpack on top of her lap.

The piece of beige construction paper was between her two favorite books she brought with her everywhere, The Very Hungry Caterpillar and The Story of Ferdinand, both stories that Tom read to her at bedtime every night or she refused to go to sleep. She loved cuddling up next to him and warm under the fluffy, pink duvet.

“What’s this picture about?” You ask her as she hands it to you.

Her finger pointed toward the figures she drew, “That’s me, you and daddy… we’re on a farm.”

“Oh, yeah! There’s the cows and the chickens.” You pointed to them, noticing she ran out of white for the cows so she improvised the rest with a light purple, almost lilac.

“Yeah… we’re happy.” Summer hiccuped in-between her sentence, “Do you.. Like my daddy?”

You paused, “I do like your daddy. He’s very nice.” You told her, gently wiping your thumb under her eye to take off some spot of dirt.

“Will you marry him?” She quickly asked, glancing up at you and she closed her left eye from looking at the direction of the sun.

You half-smiled, running your hand over her soft, loose curls, “I can’t.”

“But, daddy likes you too. You like daddy. You can get married.” She made it sound simple in short sentences, but that was just it; you wanted to say it was complicated to avoid your feelings all together.

Before you could think of changing the subject, Tom got back with the loaf of bread and Summer hopped off the bench to run toward him, antsy to get a piece already. You gulped, your teeth sunk into your bottom lip and you quickly tried to clear your head. She was just a kid and she didn’t know her mom, so of course, you didn’t take it personally, but it made you start to think if you should continue on with this vicious cycle of wondering if Tom felt anything about you.

You forced a smile as you walked over to them at the edge of the pond, Tom helping her throw scraps of bread closer to the ducks. He had his one arm wrapped around her small hips while the other lightly grasped her hand, helping her extend the throw. You cheered Summer on, Tom as well and she clapped a few times when she was able to get it further than her other tries.

An hour passed and next thing you knew, you headed back to the apartment, heading into the sunlight. Tom curled his arms around Summer to carry her up the stairs and you followed behind, watching her head bobble at every step you Tom took. Once you got through the door, Tom carefully walked in to make sure he didn’t hit Summer’s head on anything, bringing her to her room till dinner. He laid a soft, pink blanket over her, nuzzling her fluffy teddy bear by her arms.

“Love you, kid.” Tom whispered, pushing her hair from her forehead so he could plant a light kiss on the center of it.

Before he walked out, Tom glanced at Summer one more time. She was angelic, the sun shining through the sheer, white curtains covering the window behind her. With her mouth gaped a bit and her head sunk into her pillow, Tom thought he could blink and she was going to be in high school. He wanted days like this to last, practically slipping away when he thought about her birthday coming up, but without being there for her, it felt impossible to give her the world she deserves.

As you scrolled through your phone, checking if you missed any texts or calls, you were surprised to see a notification from your dating app. Heat rose to your cheeks, your whole body becoming warm as your thumb hovered over the message. Your jaw clenched after you pressed it, anticipating and nervous, but you saw one of the cutest guys you swiped on liked you back and started a conversation.

“Want to meet? Let’s get a drink.” 

Simple and straight to the point, just the way you liked it.

At first you smirked, receiving some assurance that you could have a quick one night stand, but a part of you didn’t want to and you couldn’t figure out why. Was it the mystery of a stranger? That thrill could be a familiar feeling, like coming down from a long high. It wasn’t your first online fling, but you were beginning to get tired with the same routine every other weekend. Swipe, sex and leave. 

Every guy wasn’t the same, obviously. 

There were the frat guys who were mostly vanilla and no foreplay. A bit boring, but it was better than nothing. One of them had a girlfriend once, a terrifying experience of having to sneak out of a fire escape because you woke up to pounding on the front door.

Then there were some business guys. A bit more to offer, lasted longer, but you left after you were done because they had no personality other than they worked in the city and were top of their classes.

Sometimes you’d get a shy guy, some innocent-looking beta who hasn’t had much experience, better known as guys who talk for an hour before you make out.

No one was the best, but no one was a fuck you couldn’t get out of your mind. It was hard to be open-minded the more you were on the app. It didn’t keep you up at night until you started to imagine Tom, Summer and the possibilities of being together or sharing your lives more than you already have for the past few years.

The thought of ruining that unique bond with one hookup or even one kiss? It made you sad even imagining them not in your lives, let alone losing yours and Tom’s friendship. But never once did you take advantage of his situation because of the convenience and you wanted to keep that until you could wrap your head around if you felt for him or there have been feelings lingering for more than longer than you’d like.

You wondered if something stable would be better, but relationships were messy and complicated— as if hookups were any better.

“Want a water?” Tom interrupted your racing thoughts.

You quickly turned off your phone, clicking the side button and shoving it back in your purse, “No, thanks, I’m fine. I have to get going soon.”

Tom chuckled, “You have plans outside of us? Y/N, I’m hurt.” He joked, intertwining his fingers and placing them over his heart.

You smiled, “Surprising, I know.” You sat with your legs criss-crossed so Tom could sit next to you, his weight lifted off his feet as he fell into the cushion.

There was a slight hesitation in what you wanted to tell him, that you had to leave to meet some random guy at a local bar, but he didn’t ask so why tell? Then, again, it wasn’t like you were together either. You lived your life, he lived his, but when they came together, they were beautifully woven. In-sync beats that never stopped playing, two waves becoming one or even simultaneous fireworks at the finale of a show.

“What are your plans?” He asked.

Shit.

“Um, meeting up with a friend.” You lied, sealing your lips.

You tucked your hair behind your ear, grabbing the TV remote to fill the room with something else but silence and the cars passing by outside.

“Sounds fun.” Tom nodded, “Where at?”

“A bar, probably have a few drinks and catch up.” You told him, tossing the remote on his lap.

Tom fluffed the pillow behind him, slouching into it and relaxing his shoulders for the first time that day. He was surprised he even wanted to lay down on the couch from how many times he woke up on it, his back muscles sore and his feet cold. Nevertheless, Tom still sunk into the soft cotton cushions, stretching his arms above his head.

“Well, get out of here. Have some fun.”

“I always have fun with you guys.” You mentioned, a small smile painted on your lips as you checked your purse for your pack of gum.

Tom’s brown eyes scanned you, softening the more he did. Your beauty was ethereal with the sunset coming through behind you, resembling an orange glow around your figure. After you got up, his glance was still locked as you brushed your hands down your jeans and fixed the ends of your t-shirt.

When your eyes met his, you could see how tired he was. The bags under his eyes were getting darker and his skin was pale, Tom’s grin a bit weak. He had a hard time taking care of himself when all he wanted to do was take care of Summer, but that cost him hours of sleep and exhaustion building into stress and anxiety. But, you know it was all worth it.

“Get some rest, Tommy.” You said softly, running your hand over his curls. “You overwork yourself.”

“I’m okay, really.” He grinned, a part of him wanting to ask you to stay.

You brushed your hand again over his hair, trailing it before walking away, “Okay. I’ll talk to you later. Maybe we can talk more about the ice skating.” You said as you put your purse strap on your shoulder.

He looked over his shoulder, “If I don’t, I’m sure Summer will.” Tom smiled.

You grinned, “She has her dad’s mentality.”

Tom half-smiled, “Drive safe.”

You opened the door, “I will. Later, loser.” You said your quick comment, quietly shutting the door behind you and locking it with the spare key under the mat.

Tom’s smile faded, resting his head back on the pillow and staring at the TV. His body needed to rest, the pain of the aches and knots in his back draining his energy. He was still young, yet he thought he couldn’t walk some days from how bad the discomfort was in his ankles and feet from standing most of the day.

As he began to drift to sleep, focusing on his slow breaths, Tom felt a light poke on his rib. When his tired eyes fluttered open, he saw Summer standing in front of him with her stuffed animal wrapped in her tiny arms.

“You okay, daddy?” She asked, concerned as she could be.

“Now that you’re here, kid. C’mhere.” Tom lazily grinned, opening his arms and she quickly curled up next to him, her stuffed bear squished between them. “You can’t sleep?”

She nodded her head into his chin and he wrapped his arm around her, keeping her on the sofa without falling off the side.

“You want me to sing to you?” He asked and she nodded again.

Tom kissed the top of her head, nuzzling his face against her hair as he sang her favorite song to her at a low volume, above a whisper and calm enough for her to fall asleep. His hums in between settled her down and his thumb rubbed against her arm. He squeezed her a few times, trying to hold on to this memory before the next.

As she fell asleep, bundled in the fleece blanket he put over them, Tom promised to himself that he would try harder not knowing he already was. He kissed the center of her forehead, tears welling in his eyes and his lip quivered.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The bar was packed for a Monday night, mostly college students and football fans. A few guys passed by your table, their shifting eyes and quirk smirks making you roll your eyes. Your hookup was almost an hour late and your confidence lowered along with your patience. The ice in your drink had melted, leaving a watery ring on the cocktail napkin underneath it.

“Hey there.” 

You glanced up, expecting the blonde guy from the picture, but to your surprise, it was a tall, brunette stranger with a nice, sharp jawline. 

“H-Hey. Um, do I know you?” You furrowed your brow.

“No, I’ve just been watching you over here and wanted to say hi.” He shrugged, his smile beaming.

You sighed, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I got stood up, so nice to know people were paying attention.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.” He spoke kindly, enough to know he was sympathetic.

“You didn’t, I just…” You trailed, tucking your hair behind your ears, “I should leave.”

As you walked away, pulling your purse off the back of the chair, you heard him say, “Wait!”

You turned around quickly, a glassiness over your eyes from the tears you held back.

“You can come over to my table? We’re watching the game and you seem like a football girl.” The cute stranger jeered, nodding in the direction of where he was sitting.

“I don’t hang out with strangers.” You teased, the left corner of your mouth turned up.

He liked your wit, making him smile, “I’m Nick.”

“Y/N.” You cheekily grinned, putting your hand out and shaking his lightly.

“Now that we’re not strangers, let’s get a drink.” He offered, getting a glimmer of his hazel eyes under the warm light above your table.

“Only if you’re paying.” You joked, getting off the stool and taking your purse off the back of it.

The conversation was endless with Nick and you were thoroughly enjoying his company. You sat at the high-rise table most of the night, nursing your drinks and sharing an appetizer. He was charming, understood your sense of humor, and he had the cutest laugh. Just from talking to him, you noticed how he scratched the back of his head when he got nervous or the way he smirked after you told a joke, seeing the pink on his cheeks.

“So, I guess the question of the night is… are you seeing someone else or getting over someone?” He chuckled before taking a sip of his beer, keeping eye contact with you.

The answer could have been simple, but you knew that you had to be honest with yourself sooner or later, whether it be with this guy you just met a few hours ago or by yourself in the comfort of your own four walls.

“I’m afraid to say.” You admitted, tracing a circle on the polished wood of the table.

Nick chuckled, “Why’s that?” He rolled the bottom of his beer bottle on its edge, glancing back and forth from the table and at you.

“If I say it out loud, it feels too real.” You sealed your lips, the booze slowly manipulating your emotions.

“Because you’re holding out for someone?” Nick asked, trying to guess and hoping to not sound rude.

You nodded, “He has a kid...”

“Shit. Is that a dealbreaker?”

You quickly retorted, “No, no! I love her to death and I’m there for them always, but I don’t want to butt into their lives, you know? I’m not her mom, she’s not my daughter, but sometimes, I think I don’t deserve them. But, I deserve love too, ya know?” You snorted a bit, lifting your head.

Nick smiled, only knowing just from a few hours of talking to you that you had a big heart, but you didn’t deserve to be led on. He didn’t know the entire situation, but he heard enough to know you were worth more than this.

“Sorry, I’m kind of buzzed.” You apologized, tilting your head a bit.

“It’s okay. Drunken words speak a sober mind. Right?”

You giggled, “What philosopher said that?”

Nick grinned, pulling out his wallet to pay the tab, but your smile slowly faded when you looked off. This sudden date with a stranger got your mind off Tom, only for it to circle back to him and how you were still confused about your feelings for him. Everything seemed to be about him lately, but you couldn’t get yourself to finally confess because of being ate up by the fear of rejection.

After seeing the bottom of your wine glass, your face screwed together before you shook your head, “I think I’m gonna get going. I have to get up early.”

He quickly gulped down his sip of beer, “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”

“I called an uber a few minutes ago. I’m only a few blocks away.” You reassured him, grabbing your purse off the table and trying to get off the high stool in the most modest way, holding the end of your dress down as your feet touched the ground.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Y/N.” Nick smiled at you, watching you walk around him as he was still sat in his chair.

You blushed, “You too.”

“And maybe we’ll bump into each other again sometime.” He shrugged as you faced him getting up.

You rested your arm on top of the table, “Or I can get your number?”

He smirked, “How do I know you’ll call me?”

Nick gave you back your phone and you grinned, “Guess you’ll have to trust me.”

His smile beamed as you stood there, gazing into his eyes and you wanted to stay longer, maybe even go home with him. But, you took a step back from the table, leading yourself out before you made a decision you’d regret later. You didn’t turn back to him, stuffing the napkin in your purse, but you froze when your phone vibrated at the bottom of it.

You grabbed your phone, the screen turning on and you read a text from Tom.

“Summer is excited about ice skating for her birthday. Asked if you could show her some tricks.” He ended with a smiley face.

Your thumb hovered over the message, wondering if you should slide it or not.

Another message appeared, “How’s your night been? Not missing us too much, I hope.” It’s like you could hear his voice and the sweet chuckle that came after it.

Just like that, you were pulled back as a small smile painted on your lips. You didn’t know why you were sucked in so easily, but you knew you needed to tell Tom how you felt before you can let go of those feelings. You couldn’t keep going on with wondering and not to your knowledge, he didn’t want to either.

Tom stared the conversation on the screen, watching the grey bubbles continue to move before your message came through.

“Headed back to my place, the pain of being away from you two made me so heartbroken.” You jeered through the text, ending it in a sad face.

Tom smiled to himself, typing back, “Hope it was fun while it lasted. Sleep well. Love y-”

He stopped his thumbs, wondering why he started to say it. Quickly, he pressed the backspace button, ending the text with “sleep well” and sent it with no hesitation. Tom gulped, turning his phone off and gently sliding it on the table before Summer ran out in her pajamas with her purple fairy wings on her back.

She danced on the hardwood floors, spinning around and waving her wand above her head. There wasn’t much grace to the routine, but she loved to run around the apartment, pretending she could fly and Tom could watch her for hours. A few times, his heart would skip a beat if she cut the corner around the counter too fast or she was wearing socks, slipping along the floor, but he knew he’d catch her if she fell.

“Look at you go!” Tom cheered, seeing her twirl on her one foot before charging at Tom.

Summer jumped into his arms, swooping her off her feet and spinning them around twice. She giggled, raising her arms as he rose her above and then gently set her back on her feet. She still clung to him, wrapping her arms around his legs and he ran his hand over the top of her head.

“Again!” She asked, her eyes sparkling. “Please, Daddy!”

Even though his arms and back hurt, Tom would do it over and over just to see her smile and laugh. He picked her up, spinning her around before sitting her on his hip and they headed to her bedroom. She had already brushed her teeth and Tom put her hair up, but he let her tire herself out a bit before laying down for the night.

After he told her stories, cuddled in his arms, they both fell asleep in her bed with her nightlight on by the door. She had her hand by his chest and he massaged the back of her head, knowing it helped her go to bed faster. He cherished these moments because he didn’t have many of them anymore now that he was getting busier. It killed him when you’d call in the middle of the night and you told Tom that Summer couldn’t go to bed without hearing his voice.

Tom looked over his shoulder at the window, seeing the rain start to trickle down the glass. The light storm was calming as they laid there, comfortable and safe, he needed something stable for her. He didn’t want to keep treating you like a babysitter rather than a best friend. But, he didn’t know how much you’d do anything for them.

His mind began to wander the more he stayed up, thinking about you and how close you had become over the past few years. He went to bed alone, sometimes wanting to wake up next to you, both of you waking up after a long night of playing with Summer. He even thought of how he wished you were Summer’s mom, but he knew that wasn’t meant to be for a reason. That didn’t stop him from keeping you close and wanting to have a relationship with you, it just scared him to death thinking about how’d you react to him telling you that he had feelings. 

Would it be a new life for you? 

Would you feel more pressure?

Would it change how Summer sees you?

Would it ruin your friendship even though he knows you’d never do that? 

Anything could happen, and that came with a kid, but he knew whatever happened, he focused on Summer and that’s all he knew he needed to do. Even if it meant losing you.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The next morning, you got up bright and early to get ready for your day with Summer. Sunlight came through your window above your bed, beaming off the light walls and making you feel more awake. When you rolled on your side, your right side of the bed was always empty. You ran your hand over the top of the untouched pillow, trailing it down the bed and imagined Tom next to you. 

You imagined being able to feel his soft skin against your fingertips before they raked through his messy, dark-brown curls that were like a mop. His eyes, a warm chestnut, looking down at you in a sleepy daze. That weak smile slowly curling on his lips.

Your stomach filled with butterflies thinking about seeing him every time you opened your tired eyes.

You sighed, pushing yourself up on your elbows and you tried to think of where your ice skates were hidden in the closet. You sauntered over, opening the door and pulling on the string in front of you to turn on the light. As you got on your tippy toes, your hands reached for the big white box on the top shelf, but as you tilted it, another box slid off the top of it and fell on your chest then to your feet.

The beige shoe box was on its side, most of the contents scattered on the floor. You groaned, squatting down and you noticed how most of it was from college. Miscellaneous things that reminded you of the great times you had. There was a small journal you kept to write down your thoughts and stamps and stationary your mom sent you in case you needed it. You collected it all, putting it back into the box before you saw a picture under your dresser.

As you pulled it by the corner and flipped it, you grinned when you saw it was a picture of you and Tom when he came to visit your first year. His hair was grown out, pushed back and he was wearing the black hoodie with the collar of his white t-shirt peaking. It was nudged into the corner of your window across your twin bed and it always made you miss Tom, remembering to call him when you could. Hours of conversations, talking about your classes, movies, how your lives have been apart.

You brushed your finger over the picture, something that was so small and two-dimensional yet it incased so many memories. Your feet were giving out from squatting so you sat on the floor, putting your back against the dresser and staring at the picture. You opened the box again, revealing everything inside and it brought you back in time. It reminded you of how it was the first time you realized you liked Tom.

After scraping to the bottom, you found a note he left in one of your notebooks. Suddenly, you thought back to that grueling 8am anatomy class and the piece of paper falling to your worn-out converse. You pushed your headphone cord to the side as you leaned down to get it, grabbing it between your fingers and quickly unfolding it.

“Come home soon. I know you miss me already.”

The messy handwriting was all too familiar. He still wrote like that and it reminded you of this. Little notes and all the pen marks he wrote along your body when you’d sit on the couch together after high school. You tried to think back if the butterflies were there, when he ran his hand up your ankle and to your knee, wondering if he was more than a friend, but you didn’t want to ponder about the past.

When you got back up, you quickly grabbed the box with your skates in it then got dressed. You made sure you brought a scarf for Summer in case she didn’t have one and extra fuzzy socks. With your jacket over your shoulder and your duffle strap hanging on the other, you were out the door with your key ring dangling from your middle finger.

Tom pulled out his navy button-up from the dryer, pushing his arms through the sleeves and over his white t-shirt. As he rolled his left sleeve to his elbow, Summer sat at the table, carrying her cereal bowl with both hands while the spoon was between her teeth. A splash of milk left the bowl as she set it down on the table, but Tom quickly grabbed a napkin from the counter.

“Messy girl.” He jeered, giving her the napkin and he tapped her nose.

She giggled, scrunching her nose as she blotted the spot of milk, then dipped her spoon into the colorful mixture of cereal.

“Y/N should be over soon. Are you excited to go ice skating?” He asked her, rolling up his right sleeve while he sat next to her.

Summer was sitting on her legs, still in her butterfly pajamas and Tom pushed her hair out of her face.

“Yeah!” She said, taking another big bite of cereal, milk dripping down her chin and Tom quickly wiped it.

He checked his phone for any messages from you, but nothing had come up.

“Daddy, may I have some strawberries? Please.” Summer sweetly asked, shifting her legs to sit on her bottom.

“Sure, sweetie.” Tom grinned and got back up, walking over to the fridge.

Tom opened the door quickly, searching for the container of strawberries before he saw them behind the eggs. He grabbed the plastic box, shutting the fridge with his hip and he lowered down to get a cutting board from the kitchen island.

“I don’t want them cut up, Daddy.” Summer said, making Tom quick rise up.

“Why’s that?” He smiled, leaning against the counter.

“I’m a big girl now. Big girls eat full strawberries!” She held her head high, smiling big at him.

He chuckled, “Is that right?”

“Mhmm!” She giggled again, scooping another mouthful of cereal.

He took a handful of strawberries, running them over lukewarm water before placing them in a hollow bowl. As Tom walked back over to the table, there was a knock at the door which he replied with, “Come in!”

When Tom glanced over his shoulder, he was greeted by your beautiful, warm smile. You put her jacket on the back of Summer’s chair, leaning over to see her and she arched her head back.

“Are you excited?” You grin, seeing her big brown eyes widen.

“Yeah! We’re gonna do lots of spins.” Summer snickered, small creases by her eyes the wider she smiled.

You nodded, “Lots and lots of spins.”

She grabbed a strawberry, biting into it while holding it by the stem. There was no getting around how messy she could be, but that just made her Tom’s daughter.

“I hate that I’m missing out, but I’ll come by after and we can all get dinner.” Tom kissed the top of her head as he passed by to go into the kitchen with you.

“You won’t be missed, it’s a girls day out.” You jeered, setting your duffle on the counter.

“Isn’t it always?” He smiled, putting some his coffee cup in the sink.

You hesitated to reach in your bag, but you pulled out the picture you found this morning. Tom cleaned out the cup as you stared at the picture, but he took a second glance at it and a smile painted on his lips.

“Who is that good looking guy?” Tom teased, taking the picture that you handed to him.

You rolled your eyes, “Nothing ever changes.”

Tom smiled wide, his cheeks turning pink as he continued to gaze at it. He turned around, taking one of the silver magnets and put it on top of the picture. You both stood there, looking at it and not knowing that your lives would end up where you were standing. Tom crossed his arms, stretching his neck and back before he turned to you.

“Hey, I’m gonna pick up some cupcakes after I get off work, so we can have them tonight after dinner.” He whispered, glancing at Summer who was watching TV from the table.

You grinned, “You’re too sweet to her, you know that?”

Tom hummed, but you fixed his collar and brushed off his shoulder. You pulled out his silver chain hiding under his shirt, liking the way it looked with the small pendant weighing at the bottom. You didn’t notice his fixated eyes glancing at you and quickly at your lips then back to your eyes. He started to hold his breath when you were this close to him, having to remember to take a deep breath out.

“Are you just doing inventory?” You asked him, taking a step back to lean on the counter.

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat, “Shouldn’t take too long. That way I’m able to see the birthday girl flying on the ice.”

Summer walked over to give her used dishes to Tom who put them in the sink and he lifted her up, kissing her cheek a few times. She was light as a feather, sometimes Tom thought she had invisible angel wings or she was like a bird, trying to fly as high as she could. He gave her a tight squeeze before putting her back on her feet.

“Alright, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you guys later.” Tom quickly says, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter. After flashing a smile, he left and Summer immediately wrapped her arms around your legs.

“Can we go soon?” She smiled up at you, jumping up and down.

“Yeah! Go get dressed and we can head over there.” You chuckled at how excited she was, watching her skip down the hallway and into her room.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

The two pages of checklists seemed to take longer to get through because Tom anticipated the plans to meet you guys at the rink in almost an hour. He constantly glanced at his watch, stretching his arm every few minutes to adjust it to the start of his wrist. His patience was being tested, every minute seemed to slow down purposefully, time knowing that he wanted to get out of there to simply spend time with his kid.

As he trailed his fingers along the labels of the bottles, accounting every one of them and taking second glances to make sure, Tom froze when he heard his ringtone blare from down the bar. He quickly walked over, leaning on his leading foot enough to see the screen of his phone, but took a few more steps to pick it up when he saw it was your contact.

“Hey Y/N, how’s it going?” He smiled, putting the clipboard on the bar, but there was silence.

Tom furrowed his eyebrows before he heard your voice added with your sniffling and wheezing, “Tom?!”

“Y/N, what’s going on?” He asked, his eyebrows still pushed together..

“Summer broke her arm! I was right there and she slipped and- and then she just- like… I’m sorry, Tom. I’m so sorry.” You panicked, tears streaming down your cheeks as you paced in the waiting room with everyone staring at your frantic state.

He interrupted, hoping to calm you down, “Slow down. Where are you guys?”

Your mind blanked out on the name of the hospital with how much doubt and anxiety filled your brain in a matter of seconds, but after a few stuttering starts, you told Tom and he said he’d be there in a heartbeat.

The ten minutes Tom drove from the bar to the hospital was a blur, not realizing where he was going as he swerved through the lanes of traffic. It was dangerous, he could admit that because all he cared about was getting to you and Summer. At the last red light, he finally took a deep breath, composing himself and remembering he had to get there in one piece. Once he exhaled, his body started to shake and tears filled his eyes, gripping his hands tight around the leather steering wheel.

His breaths were shaky as he got closer to the hospital, quickly pulling into an empty spot. He tried to tell himself “it’s just a broken arm”, but it was much more than that because he wasn’t there.

Tom walked to the front desk, the adrenaline pumping through his veins so much that his hands were shaking. The receptionist glanced up at him, furrowing her eyebrows at the panic painted on Tom’s face and the pink on his cheeks.

“Sir? Can I help you with something?”

“Yeah, my daughter came in maybe, like, an hour ago? Her name is Summer, she has brown hair and she’s, she’s…” Tom panted, his mind still foggy from everything running through it.

“She’s getting an x-ray then they’re gonna take her to get a CAT scan to make sure she’s okay.” She told him with a kind tone, trying to say it slow and clear to calm him down.

Tom nodded, gulping before a nurse escorted him to where he could wait. He quickly followed behind her as she turned the corner, giving glances to the patients and doctors that filled the halls. When the nurse guided him into the emergency room, most of the beds were filled of people with minor injures. He couldn’t help but glue his eyes to everyone, fueling his anxiety more until he heard the sound of the curtain pull back behind him.

He saw you sat in the chair by the monitor, but Summer wasn’t there. The nurse left you two to talk, leaving the curtain open, but Tom closed it enough to give you some privacy.

When you stood up, he saw the red in your eyes and tears dripping off your chin, staining your shirt.

Before he said anything, Tom hugged you tight. He wrapped his arms around your neck while yours were around his waist, linking your hands together. Your head was on his shoulder, the tears on your chin staining his button down.

You sniffled, “I’m sorry, I took my eyes off her for two seconds.”

Tom pulled away, “Hey, hey, it’s not your fault.” He reassured you, his hands moving to your waist, but you felt so much guilt no matter how many times he could have told you.

“I’m sorry.” You whimpered, but Tom wiped your lingering tears with his thumb.

He knew you cared for Summer, but this made him realize how much you truly cared about her and it might be as much as he did.

“She’s getting checked out now, she’s fine. It’s just a broken arm.” Tom chuckled, trying to calm you down and you half-smiled, wiping the rest of your tears with the back of your hand.

Your face was tingly from how hard and long you cried, but as you relaxed, it went to just feeling warm. You sat back down, scratching the nape of your neck and Tom sat on the arm of  the chair. He ran his hand along your shoulders and back, hoping it would comfort you while you patiently waited with the noises of heart monitors and mindless medical banter go on around you two.

Summer wasn’t your child, but the weight of this accident was as if she was. It was a confusing feeling. 

How much were you allowed to feel or care?

The two of you continued to sit in silence before the curtain pulled back and Summer, stood right by the nurse’s leg, had a bright blue cast on her right arm. Tom chuckled in relief, walking up to her and wrapping his arms around her. He placed his left hand on the back of her head as his right arm swooped under her to pick her up.

“Are you okay?” He asked her with a smile on his lips.

“Yeah, daddy. I got to go in the ambulance.”

“Yeah? Did they put on the siren?” Tom grinned as he put her on the bed.

“Yeah!” She giggled and he kissed the top of her head.

Your smile curled up as you looked at hers, grateful that she wasn’t upset.

“It was a small fracture, but she’ll have a follow up in a month then get it off in six to seven weeks.” The nurse explained to Tom in a kind and warm tone.

The nurse escorted Tom to signing out while you stay with Summer. Her legs dangled off the bed, her sketchers lighting up when they tapped against one of the legs and her ruffled white socks uneven. You sat next to her on the bed, wrapping your arm around her and kissing the top of her head.

“I’m so sorry, my sweet.” You said, muffled against her hair.

“It’s okay. I promise.” She giggled.

You couldn’t help but chuckle, kissing the top of her head, “And we always keep our promises.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

A few days passed since the broken arm accident, but it was finally Summer’s birthday. The day she waited for since her last one and she wanted to soak up every second with her dad and all her new friends she’s made in kindergarten. She beamed everywhere she went, like a comet flying through the galaxy of many moons and suns. Tom knew more than anyone she was destined to have an extraordinary life.

“No peaking.” You smiled, holding back your giggle as you lead Summer from her bedroom.

Your eyes covered her eyes, continuing to walk behind her and Tom lingered in the kitchen, trying to place the arrangements of flowers around the apartment.

“Okay… one, two, three!” You cheered, pulling your hands back.

She gasped, leaping up and down as she saw everything she could have dreamed of. Pink and white streamers hanging from wall to wall, the flowers she placed aimlessly and a lot of confetti balloons that said “Happy 6th birthday!” on them in white and black.

“Oh my gosh, it’s amazing! Thanks, daddy.” Summer jumped into his arms even though his hands had decorations in them.

“Anything for you, princess.” He said close to her ear, kissing her cheek.

He tried to be careful with her since she broke her arm, making sure she took care of her cast. The first bubble bath was a challenge because he had to think of some way to cover it. They tried a few things until he had to run to the store to get plastic wrap. When they came back, he wrapped it in the tight film and sealed it off with a plastic bag and rubber band to keep her hand dry.

People saw him that night as a struggling father, wondering how he could take a five-year-old to the grocery store later than her bedtime while she was in polka dot pajamas. But, what you saw was a man doing everything he absolutely could to keep his daughter.

You smiled at them as she pointed out his attention to detail, walking around the apartment and being amazed at the perfection she saw.

Throughout the party, kids flooded in along with their parents. They carried various presents ranging from party bags and others wrapped in colorful paper with big bows on the top. The kids asked how her arm felt, all of them wearing birthday hats and crowns, and they were all just as eager to be able to sign it in metallic sharpies.

Tom stood back by the kitchen counter, watching his daughter become a social butterfly and the life of her own party.

“Great job, dad of the year.” You jeered at him as you stood next to him, bumping your shoulder with his.

He turned to you, “Well I owe it all to you.”

“C’mon, you did all of this yourself. It looks amazing, just take the credit for once.” You praised him, reminding him that it was all him.

Tom smiled, biting his bottom lip to hide it, but it was hard not to when it was coming from you.

“You’re a great dad… own it for once.” You winked, rubbing his back before your placed it on his cheek. 

Your thumb brushed over his freckled skin until you walked off to join in on the commotion between the happy parents. Tom’s lips went to the side then bit the inside of his cheek, wondering how he could have gotten someone so great like you to stay in his life. 

He really loved you and he was ready to say it.

After the party ended, Summer was asleep on the couch from her sugar crash. The sun was setting past the windows, the dark orange rays fading into a dark night as it sank into the horizon. You and Tom were beginning to clean up the aftermath of a mess that a few kids could make within a few hours in a small apartment. They all enjoyed it, giving them goodie bags you helped Summer make the night before that were tied with pink and yellow curly ribbons.

“Is there any cake left?” You asked Tom as you cleaned off the dining room table.

“Yeah, I put the rest in the fridge. Enough for just one though.” Tom scrunched his nose.

“And I’ll fight you for that.” You giggled, tossing all the paper and plastic into the garbage bag.

Tom walked over to the couch, kneeling to the ground and curling his arms under Summer’s body. He had one arm across her shoulder blades while the other were under her legs and you followed with him into her bedroom. He carefully slid into the room, hoping to not hit her feet or head on any corners or walls.

As he held her, you gently slid her sneakers off, placing them at the bottom of her closet as he laid her down in bed. Tom pulled her birthday crown off, slowly so he didn’t pull at her hair and he set it on the bedside table.

“Goodnight, princess.” He whispered, kissing the tip of her button nose, “I love you so much.”

She stirred in her slumber as Tom tucked her in the fluffy sheets. You walked by, running your hand over her hair as Tom turned on her nightlight. The two of you quietly walked out and Tom slowly closed the door behind him, turning the knob so it wouldn’t click against the doorframe.

Tom felt a wave of emotions come over him, his stomach feeling light and tears welling up in his tired, brown eyes. He quickly wiped his tears with the end of his t-shirt, letting out a low groan.

You leaned against the wall, your hands behind your back as he had his back to the opposite wall.

“God, I don’t know why I’m… crying.” He trailed, “Fuck.”

“You’re tired and you just threw the best party any six-year-old could ask for.” You grinned.

Tom still held back his sobs, red painting across his cheeks and around his eyes. You watched a tear trail down his cheek while he hung his head low. You couldn’t help but walk up to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting him burrow his head in your shoulder.

His hands felt warm on your back, running them up and down your sweater. This is the comfort he needed for so long. He didn’t understand how he felt an instant relief, wrapped around you while your fingers ran through his hair.

You smiled, moving the two of you side to side and he chuckled against your ear.

“Sorry. Shit…” He pulled away, wiping his tears again.

“You never have to apologize to me.” You tilted his chin up.

Tom bit his bottom lip and nodded, not able to say anything without feeling the lump in his throat.

“C’mon, let’s start cleaning now before we regret it in the morning.” You tried to lighten the mood, taking his hand and pulling him behind you.

As you cleaned up the kitchen, the music helped get it done without it feeling tedious. The two of nursed your glasses of liquor, passing by each other with used glasses and handfuls of garbage. An old song began to play, one you both remembered hearing a lot in high school, and it made you both let out a gasp.

“Didn’t you used to love this song?” You asked Tom, wiping the inside of a glass with a dry rag.

He nodded, “Absolutely not. It was overrated.” He laughed, running the dirty glass under the warm water.

“C’mon! You used to sing it in the car all the time.” You continued to tease him before you started singing it to him.

The two of you shared a few belly laughs before your phone vibrated on the counter, catching your attention while Tom was still singing the last few words of the chorus.

“How was the party?” Nick texted, plain and simple.

You chewed your inner cheek, tapping your nails against the screen.

“What’s wrong? Why do you have that look on your face?” Tom smiled, drying one of the glasses he washed.

“I’ve been talking to this guy.” You said, turning to him and he already met your gaze.

Tom’s heart skipped a beat, “Really?” He said, his tone a bit surprised.

“Is that so hard to believe?” You joked, taking the glass from him to put in the cabinet behind you.

He took another glass, half-smiling, “How long have you guys been talking?” 

“Not long. I met him last week when I went to the bar.” You said as you put the glasses on the shelves, “He’s sweet and funny. Works in business.” You trailed, biting your bottom lip and wondering what he was going to say.

“Funny is always a good sign.” Tom replied.

You walked back over to stand next to him by the sink, “And what’s not a good sign?”

Tom turned the water off, “Well…” He trailed.

You got comfortable, lifting yourself on top of the counter and he wiped his hands dry.

“If he say’s “it’s not you, it’s me.” or… talks a lot about his mom and probably the worst is a guy that talks to you about how much money he makes.”

“Well what if I want a billionaire? Never have to work a day in my life again.” You jeered, tilting your head at him.

He smiled, “Because I know you.” placing his hand on your knee and his thumb brushing over your skin.

Butterflies filled your stomach and your eyes focused on his hand. He chuckled, so light and soft, as he continued to caress your knee. The warm light from the stove glowed behind him and his face was shadowed, but you shifted your eyes to his lips.

The music was still playing, letting it fill the silence between you two. Tom lifted his head to look at you and your eyes were fixated on him, a layer of glass over them as his hand moved further up your leg. You ran your fingers through his soft hair, still keeping your gaze with him. There was a magnetic pull between you, the comfort of your closeness making it impossible to stay apart.

“Y/N?” He asked, standing between your legs.

“Yes?” You giggled, your face heating up.

Tom still looking into your eyes, “Thanks for being there for me.”

You nodded, “Always.”

You slowly moved in, your foreheads pressing against one another’s and you shifted your weight forward so his hands could hold your hips. Both your eyes were closed and you felt the warmth from your bodies as you practically intertwined. You wrapped your arms around his neck as his nose brushed by yours, both of you hesitating to move on to what could be next.

“I love you.” He mumbled.

You grinned, “I love you too.”

There was nothing to think about anymore and it felt relieving in just those few words.

You placed your hand on his neck, running up the back of it before your lips grazed against his. He hesitated to kiss you at first because he wasn’t sure if this was real, but he had nothing to lose if he did.

Tom pressed his lips on yours, pulling your hips closer and it was pure bliss. Your lips were soft, like velvet, and he tasted the vanilla chapstick you put on. The kiss was long yet slow and relentless, a light one before taking a breath and leaning back in. You teased your tongue, letting it press against his and you lightly bit his bottom lip.

His hands moved to your sides, a quick and gentle squeeze before they moved underneath you. Tom lifted you off the counter and you let out a giggle, not expecting it from him and your legs wrapped around his body. The tender kisses lingered on and you wanted to stay in this scene of your lives and forget about the rest of the world.

Everything was euphoric… until there was three harsh knocks at the door.

You two paused, Tom still holding you up and you stared at the door.

“Maybe they’ll go away.” Tom said while catching his breath.

You giggled as he turned to kiss you again, but another set of loud banging hit against the door.

Tom let out a groan as he put you on your feet, your face feeling heated while you fixed your hair.

When Tom opened the door, he wasn’t surprised if it was a parent who’s kid may have left something, but to his surprise, he saw the last person he was expecting nor wanted to ever see again.

“...Maggie?”

“Hey Tom.” She stood there with her arms crossed.

“What- what are you doing here?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowed. 

You awkwardly stood behind Tom, trying to fix the ends of your dress. Maggie looked the same as she did six years ago, dark black hair to her shoulders and piercing, emerald eyes that could see past anyone’s walls. That drunken night she went home with Tom, it unknowingly changed the rest of his life forever.

“I’m here to take back my daughter.” She retorted, ignoring your presence.

Tom was baffled, “What do you mean?”

“I want Summer back, end of story.” Maggie shrugged, her face stone cold.

“You decided to stay out of her life the day you left her on my doorstep, you don’t get to just take her back when we haven’t talked in years. She doesn’t even know you!” Tom quickly argued back.

“Well, I’m better now, okay? I have my shit together and she’s my daughter.”

“Bullshit! I’ve been raising her for six years now, no thanks to you.” He was heated.

“Hey, hey, Tom, calm down--”

“Stay out of this, Y/N.” Maggie cut you off, sticking her hand out to point at you.

“Don’t talk to her like that.” Tom defended you, “Maggie, just leave. Please.”

“I’m not leaving till I get my daughter back.” Maggie yelled again.

“She’s my daughter too!”

“No, she’s not! You’re not her father!” She belted out.

In that second, Tom felt his entire world freeze all at once.​

[pradaksj]

Safety Net || part two (final). (m.)

all rights reserved © pradaksj

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ summary ⟶ on new year’s eve, you and jungkook reflect on each other’s entire year together.

❧ pairing⟶ jungkook/reader

❧ genre⟶  enemies to friends, friends to lovers, fluff, angst, pining, smut, boxer!jungkook. two-part series.

❧ word count ⟶ 16,000+

❧ warnings ⟶ descriptions of an anxiety/panic attack, character death (non-major), smut which includes ... passionate to rough sex, oral (female receiving), penetration, fingering, unprotected sex (please have sex responsibly lol). 

❧ music⟶ safety net, selfish, stuck on you, exile, +more

❧ a/n ⟶ I am still fairly new to writing smut so sorry if it doesn’t meet your expectations 😭 also to all my people who don’t like smut “*” signals where you can stop reading as the smut is really just a bonus scene at the end. and remember dark purple = entering/still in the past, light purple = present

01 | 02 (final) 

“God were we dramatic,” you laugh, glad that the recollection of your big fight with Jungkook was something that could by now be laughed at rather than seen as something you’d dearly regret, “Don’t you think?” you ask Jungkook, concern immediately washing over you once you see the sad look on his face, “Jungkook?”

Jungkook stares blankly at the lake in front of him, surprised at the resurgence of the same heavy feeling in chest he had felt several months before, “Did I—Did I say something wrong?” you worry that you’ve hurt his feelings, that being one of, if not the, last thing you wanted to do tonight.

Quietly he nods his head no, “I just—” he struggles to voice his thoughts, “I was—” he shakes his head and you grab his hand in comfort, giving him a small smile.

“Hey,” you giggle, “what happened is in the past,” you reassure.

“I know but—” he sighs, pushing his hair back with his other hand, “I just still feel bad, you know? I mean we went a whole month without talking…. practically hating one another…”

August 2019. 

It had been about a month since your explosive argument with Jungkook, and despite living together... the two of you had never been so far apart. Not only were you not on speaking terms, but it was as if neither of you existed in each other's proper world, completely avoiding each other at all costs.

One would think that because you two lived with one another, you’d be bound to have some kind of awkward bump ins from time to time, but somehow the two of you managed to steer clear of each other. From eating breakfast and dinner at separate times, to talking to Hobi at your own respective times, and of course the first thing Jungkook did the next day after your fight was move his things out of your restroom and into Hobi’s. You weren’t going to lie, it did sting just a little , but you were quick to get over it. The part that made Hobi roll his eyes even further back than they already did, was how quickly you two scrambled around each other whenever you did happen to coincidentally be in the same place such as the kitchen.

Originally Hobi tried any and every method possible to get you two to make up, knocking on doors and trying to trick you two into talking, faking handwriting, stealing personal belongings, and of course begging. Hell, he even tried confronting you two in one of the rare times you guys were in the kitchen at the same time, but all you two did was remain silent and go back into your respective rooms. Not bothering to even spare a glance at one another.

He had given up about two weeks in of trying, deciding that it was up to you two to figure out how you guys would make up. But it wasn’t until this Friday morning when he saw a certain letter stick out of the mail that he found himself loudly sighing.

“Oh Jungkook…” he whispers to himself, shaking his head as he read the letter in front of him. What was he going to do now?

It didn’t take long for Jungkook to get used to being the lone wolf in the apartment again, in fact it was easy for him to completely ignore your existence. It was easy to watch you struggle opening a jar full of kimchi. It was easy to catch a glimpse of you and Hobi watching One Piece on the couch whenever he was making his way out of the apartment to go and party. It was easy to hear you sing along to some new girl group song and not join along whenever he passed by your room. And it was very easy to hate you. Very easy indeed.

Gosh, who was he kidding? It was the hardest freaking thing in the world to do. Especially because he didn’t hate you at all. Pretending to? Yes. Actually? Fuck no.

If he was being honest, any hatred he had felt in the moment of the big argument had been rapidly washed away the moment he slammed his door shut. Instead it had been quickly replaced by the feeling of hurt and sadness. He even found himself sneaking into the kitchen that night to grab an extra pint of ice cream from the freezer and watch some stupid K-drama from his laptop back in his room. Even shedding a small tear when the male and female lead had to break up due to unforeseen circumstances. But of course if you asked him if it was true, he’d deny it in a heartbeat.

He’d often find himself zoning out and replaying the fight in his head. God, was he an idiot. What was he thinking destroying your painting like that? Did he really think you weren’t going to react the way you did? Sadly, the answer was a mixture of both yes and no. Yes, he wanted you to feel as hurt as he did, but he didn’t expect you to go fully ballistic on him. Did he blame you for it? No, of course not. You had every right to be mad at him as he had acted out in completely blind rage. Not bothering to stop for one moment and ask himself, am I okay with the possible outcome of what I’m about to do? Had he known it was going to be this, and well … he would’ve never done it.

It just happened so quick. One moment he was staring at the floor covered with broken pieces of glass and the next he had his fist going through the canvas of your painting, destroying the very thing he convinced you to work on. No wonder you hated him…

You hated him and you had every right to. He just wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to take it anymore. Having to only catch glimpses of you from time to time and not being able to say anything because he was too ashamed to even look at you was truly killing him. And he could only imagine how you felt having to see him every day and night. Knowing the person you hated most was living under the same roof as you. Hell, if the roles were reversed he probably wouldn’t want you around at all.

Which is why as Jungkook currently stares aimlessly at the ceiling of his room, he knows he’s made the right decision.

The night of the fight between you and Jungkook, you had felt a range of emotions that honestly were quite overwhelming. Whenever you’d stare off into space you’d find yourself feeling very sad and reflective, but whenever you even caught a glimpse of your then destroyed painting on the floor you’d feel the rush of anger return all at once. It was like that the whole night, not even an episode of One Piece could cheer you up. If anything it made you feel even more confused because you were on the episode where (spoiler alert) *** dies, and well not only were you mad at how it happened, but sad because it was happening. Hell, that was probably the best way to describe how you felt about the whole argument.

The first couple of days had been hard to say the least, the dynamic between all three of you drastically changing in the matter of a couple days. No longer were there grocery shopping trips together, nor were there laundry days where you and Jungkook would compete to see who could fold the fastest, and of course there were no longer Netflix movie nights where Hobi would complain because you and Jungkook kept cracking too many jokes during the most intense scenes. Your laughs always echoing across the living room walls thus ruining the buildup of the scene.

You were good at pretending you didn’t care, in fact you were great at it. Maybe because a part of you actually didn’t care. You had long been fed up with Jungkook’s moody antics, and him destroying that painting was the final straw. Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have gone into his room after he specifically told you not to, but you only did because you were worried about him and actually cared about him. Couldn’t he have seen that before he went full on rampage mode and destroyed your painting? He was wrong for what he did, and at the end of the day he had no right to hate you. Right?

These days you found yourself doubting it. It wasn’t like you were in the entire right, you mean you had invaded his privacy … you shake your head, begrudgingly getting out of bed before dwelling on your thoughts for any longer. The re-do of your painting, which currently sat on its easel, serving as reminder that you weren’t planning on talking to him anytime soon.

“Good Morning to you,” Hobi greets, watching you stomp your way into the kitchen, clearly running on an empty stomach. Jungkook was currently out, either working out or …. Hobi sighs recalling what he saw in the letter this morning.

“Good morning,” you mumble, the grouchy mood that Hobi found himself a little too used to making its morning return. In all the years he’s known you, to see you always this …. down …. was very unlike of you to say the least.

Whether you liked it or not, your fight with Jungkook had definitely changed some aspects of your personality, even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself yet. Because no matter how good you were good at faking it, and trust him you were good (a professional indeed), behind that tough wall you had put up in the last month was a person who was hurt. A person who had their heart crushed right in front of them.

Grabbing two slices of bread, you place them in the toaster, preparing to make yourself some avocado toast. You sigh when you hear Hobi’s footsteps getting closer, not wanting to hear the whole “You need to talk to Jungkook” speech this early on a Saturday morning.

Turning around to face him, you’re prepared to protest against his usual lecture, “Hobi I don’t—” the sound of an envelope hitting the counter catching you off guard, stopping you from continuing any further. Furrowing your brows, your eyes glint with confusion. Hobi stares at you with a stoic expression, waiting for you to grab the letter from the island’s counter.

Slowly you grab the white envelope, extremely confused as to what this had to do with. The name on the recipient line reads, “Jeon Jungkook” and for a small second you feel your heart stop, but you’re quick to shake it off.

“This isn’t mine, if you can’t tell,” you scoff, preparing to hand the envelope back to Hobi.

Pushing your hand away, he says, “Read it,” his tone telling you that it wasn’t exactly an option.

Rolling your eyes, you pull out the single piece of paper that’s inside, unfolding the tri-folded letter. Your eyes quickly gaze over the subject line which reads, “Application Approval,” catching your attention. From there you continue to read…

Dear Jeon Jungkook,

We are pleased to notify you that we have received and accepted your application for the lease property of **** Jangsin-Ro, Apartment 32. Your lease will begin on September 28, 2019 and your rent amount is ₩****  for every 1st of the month. Any cancellations will result in a ₩*** fee. I want to thank you for your application and anticipate that you will have an enjoyable living experience in your new home.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,

Bang Si-Hyuk.

Wait what? Your eyes reread the letter that’s in front of you because clearly you were reading something wrong. Your eyes must’ve been deceiving you because there was just no way…. Looking up at Hobi, you hope this was another of his attempts to get you to talk to Jungkook, but there he stood, straight faced as ever.

“He’s—” your voice whimpers like a little kid, “He’s moving out?”  

“Ow!” Jungkook squirms, the feeling of your fingers pinching his arm hurting him, “What was that for?!” he yelps.

“For trying to move out without telling us! And don’t you dare ever pull something like that again,” you scold him, tempted to pinch him again.

Garnering a laugh out of him, you cross your arms like a kid and huff a loud breath of air, “Ah I won’t, I won’t,” he giggles, “Maybe…” he mumbles, but he’s quick to raise his arms in defense once he sees you ready to pinch him once again, “I’m just kidding,” he sings and you roll your eyes.

“Serves you right,” you mutter, letting out the hurt you felt that day to him because honestly, you had never gotten the opportunity to do so…

September 2019.

“Jungkook is moving out. Jungkook is moving out. Jungkook is moving out,” you think to yourself, having to come to terms with the fact that in exactly 48 hours from now Jungkook was officially going to be out of your life … for good.  

You were shocked to say the least, when you saw the application letter, not exactly sure about what you felt. You mean, yeah you were definitely mad at Jungkook, but enough to the point where you wanted him officially out of your life? Hell no.

So then where the hell did he even get the idea to move out? It wasn’t like you two were being mean to each other, nor was there blatant hatred being shown on your part. All you two were doing were ignoring each other like two little kids. That should not be cause for someone to move out. Not at all!

A knock on the door catches your attention, “You ready?” Hobi asks, dressed in business like attire. His all black suit made him seem almost intimidating, that was until your eyes landed on his newly dyed cherry-red hair only causing you to stifle a small laugh.

Nodding your head, you look at yourself in the mirror one last time. Tonight was the night of the art exhibition, and you were very very nervous. You had turned in your piece a couple of days prior, but to have to later unveil it in front of everyone along with giving a small speech was nerve wracking. Especially considering you hadn’t involved yourself in the world of the arts for several years now, if anything you were used to constantly talking about accounting numbers and different business statistics.

“It’s either now or never,” you whisper to yourself, not knowing what awaited you.

“I just don’t get it Hobi,” you rant in the car, on your way to the galleria’s location, “he didn’t see me trying to move out when he was being nothing but a complete dick to me those first couple of months!” you pout, still not having accepted that Jungkook was moving out, despite constantly reminding yourself that he was.

Hobi sighs, feeling as if he’s heard you rant about this since you’ve found out … oh wait … you have! “Y/N—” he begins.

“No listen to me Hobi!” you interrupt, “Can he really not stand the sight of me that he feels the need to move out?? Was me going into his room really that big of an issue,” your voice wavers a bit, but you continue nonetheless, “And the fact that he hasn’t even bothered to tell you! So what? He was just planning on disappearing this coming Monday! Thinking no questions were going to be raised? I mean imagine you hadn’t seen that letter, he would’ve left thinking I hate him!” And to that Hobi lets out a scoff.

“What do you mean?” he scrunches his face, “He still is!” Hobi raises his finger before you could talk, “My turn,” he firmly states, only causing you to drop your defensive shoulders and roll your eyes.

“You two have not talked at all since your stupid little argument where clearly both of you were in the wrong!” he rants, repeating what he’s been saying for the last two months, the topic becoming tiresome, “And now one of you is leaving because neither of you can get over yourselves and just initiate some kind of freaking conversation! Just one conversation and I am one hundred percent sure everything will get cleared up and we can all go back to our daily lives, but nooooo both of you think we’re in some freaking K-drama, actually no, even K-dramas make up faster than the two of you!” he ends his rant on an insult, and you’re left there momentarily speechless.

“You are so—”

“I’m what?” Hobi glares at you, and you only narrow your eyes at him in return.

“You are so wrong,” you state, refusing to now look at him, instead looking out the window.

“I’m right and you know it,” you mumble something under your breath in response, “You invaded his privacy after he repeatedly told you not to, but for some reason you just felt the impulsive need to go into his room and find out what he was hiding. You know, I’m sorry Y/N but if Jungkook’s the biggest dickhead in existence then you my friend are the pushiest one,” he complains, finding his grip on the steering wheel becoming tighter. God, did the two of you get his blood pressure boiling up.

“You don’t get it, I had to go into his room,” you mutter, not exactly happy with the fact that Hobi is reading you for filth.

“No you didn't,” the two of you begin to go back and forth, voice raising with every sentence.

“Yes, I did.”

“No you did not.”

“Um yes—”

“Um n—”

“Yes, how else was I going to be able to find out what was hurting him?” you interrupt, turning to face Hobi, feeling the migraine in your head about to pop.

“And why would you need to know that?”

“Because I lo—” you quickly catch yourself before you could complete the sentence, crossing your arms and pouting. Like hell you’d confess in front of Hobi.

Hobi looks at you knowingly, “Because you what,” he taunts, knowing exactly what you were going to say,

“Just drive,” you mumble, your attention back to the window beside you, focusing on the view of the city streets.

“Ah Y/N, there you are!” Jimin greets you and Hobi, having barely walked in from your argumentative car ride, “You’re on in like ten minutes,” he nervously chuckles, worrying only minutes ago that you were going to be a no-show.

“That quick?” you ask in complete shock, barely having taken off your dress-coat. The churns in your stomach begin to make you feel physically sick and there’s now a certain dryness to your throat that you could only accredit to the tension you were now feeling. Your palms were even beginning to get a little sweaty. Why were you doing this again? Oh yeah … Jungkook.

“Come on let’s go and get you set up,” Jimin tugs at your hand, pulling you to follow him. With your other hand, you attempt to look for your flash cards, wanting to remind yourself of the specific points you needed to cover.

“What the—” your heart drops, unable to feel the flimsy piece of paper anywhere near the coat that hung against your arm, “Oh no,” you murmur to yourself, not wanting to panic Jimin, “No, no, no,” you repeat to yourself.

“Okay here we are,” he stops you two in front of your draped-covered painting, pulling out a lapel mic from his pocket, clipping it onto the collar of your outfit. Now that you weren’t moving, you were now barely taking note of just how many people filled the galleria, and it was a lot. There had to be at least 200 people, minimum. Each and every one of them slowly looking around at the already unveiled art pieces, their eyes doing the judging for them.

“Jimin I don’t know—”

“Hey, you’re gonna do just fine, it’s just a bit of stage fright I’m sure,” he reassures, and though you appreciate the gesture, coming from him it just didn’t mean much. You see, Jimin has always been what's called an optimistic person, similar to you in a way. Always trying to find the good in the bad. But in order for his words to really have some effect, it would’ve been better if he was a pessimist, someone who always saw the negative in everything because then to hear that you would do just fine would come more as a shock rather than as something expected, someone like—

You shake your head,“I’m just,” your outfit suddenly begins to feel as if it's squeezing the life out of you, “I’m really nervous,” you whisper to him out of breath, watching as people begin to crowd around your area. Were the walls closing in or was it just you?

He begins to test the mic, “Jimin—” you repeat his name, a cry for help, “I can’t—” but it’s too late.

“Hello everyone,” he speaks into his own microphone, and you scan the audience to see if you can spot Hobi. When you do, you notice the look of panic he has on his own face, probably aware of your distressed state, knowing that there was nothing he could do about it, “This artist I’m introducing to you, has been a personal friend of mine for years. I’ve known her since my first year in college, and I can vouch for just how talented she is,” Jimin glances at you, unaware of just how truly panicked you were, “So without further ado, y/n take it away,” he steps away, leaving you under the sole spotlight.

Remaining silent for a moment, you stare at the several pairs of eyes that had their gaze solely focused on you. “H-Hello,” you stutter into the mic, glad that it wasn’t a handheld one as you were sure that you would’ve been a jittering mess, “Um my name is y/n l/n,” you nervously smile, trying to find something to focus your attention on. Originally you planned on staring at Hobi the whole time, only to find out it made you even more of a stuttering mess. God, was it getting hot in here.

“So um I think we should um reveal the painting first,” you sputter out, signalling to Jimin that it was time. Slowly he removes the drape, the sound of clapping providing you a bit of a soothing effect. People liked it. People freaking liked it. It felt as if a brick or two had been dropped from your shoulders.

You gulp continuing with your speech, “So I um—” breathe y/n, “I call this piece safety net,” you turn sideways towards the painting, ready to explain, “I call it that because as y-you can see in the painting,” you mindlessly point to it as if the audience couldn’t see it themselves, “There’s the um the figure falling into what I call a safety net of flowers and—” you stare at the painting along with them, finding yourself getting lost in your own work, “well I painted this after—” you pause, the room completely silent, “after finding myself wanting to be someone’s safety net,” you mumble to yourself, a certain person coming to mind.

There’s an awkwardness to the room, the kind of stiffness you only find in tense moments. You weren’t sure if it was because the audience was trying to be respectful or you were just making a complete mess out of yourself, but either way Jimin awkwardly coughs, “So um we will now take questions from the audience,” Jimin hesitantly says, by now noticing the extremely panicked state you were in, but unsure of what to do.

A woman raises her hand, a volunteer for the galleria handing her a mic, “Hello,” she politely greets, giving you a warm smile, “So I was curious as to why you chose two colors that don’t conventionally go well together, I was wondering if you did that on purpose or…” and though you know her question means no harm, the voice in your head was convincing you that this was some kind of an attack.

“I um—” your breathing becomes heavier, “I—” Just speak, you keep telling yourself. Tell her that you chose two colors because they represented two different personalities. Say something you freaking idiot. “I um c-chose—” you begin to hear the sound of people murmuring all around you, their voices echoing loudly through your head. What were they saying? Did they hate your painting? Did they think it made absolutely no sense? Was it really that bad? What were you thinking when agreeing to do all this? How could you have been convinced to do this? You didn’t paint anymore for this exact reason.

With every thought that races through your mind, the sudden sense of impending doom only becomes stronger and your rapid breathing becomes louder. You had to be sweating because God did it feel like a fucking sauna in here. The tightness in your throat wasn’t helping at all as well only making the feeling of nausea further overwhelming. You needed to get out of here. Now.  

And so without thinking… you run.

You yank out the mic and begin to run to God knows where, ignoring the shouts of your name along with the small number of gasps that could be heard.You needed to breathe again, and you desperately needed this feeling of danger to be gone.

Trying not to bump into too many people walking the dark city streets of Seoul, focusing on the sound of your heels clicking against the pavement, tuning out everything around you. “Just run,” you tell yourself, “Run until no one can find you.”

Soon the sound of your heels clacking against the pavement becoming the sound of your heels crunching against leaves. The pitch blackness of your surroundings causes tears to begin to well up, the trembling of your fingers along with the chills running down your spine making you feel as if you were running in an endless loop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

You come to sudden halt, pushing your arm against a nearby tree, desperately trying to catch your breath. You were alone now, isn’t this what you wanted? So then why did you still feel as if the world was crashing down on you. Why couldn’t you breathe? Why were hot tears spilling from your eyes? What the hell was wrong with you?

By now your sobs are in full force, your heaving chest only adding to its force. Because of your crying, you fail to hear a voice, “There you are!” Jungkook catches his breath, surprised at how fast you could run in heels. For a small second he thought he had lost you in the chase, with the way you maneuvered around everyone, he was thankful he hadn’t.

“Y/N,” he calls out, expecting you to turn, but he’s met with silence. You were having a panic attack, a bad one at that. Making his way closer to you, he’s careful in how he approaches you, grabbing your hand before you could run any further, “Y/N,” he repeats, this time turning you to face him, but you continue to cry in hysteria, your vision blurred by just how fast tears were falling from your eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me y/n,” he cups your face with his hands, a worrisome but firm look on his face, “I need you to breathe with me, okay?” your chest continues to heave, the rapid breaths of air coming from your mouth at an alarming rate, “Y/N!” he shouts, causing you to go silent, “Y/N…” he softly repeats, knowing he’s gotten your attention. You stare at him in silence, “One,” he inhales a big breath of air, “Two,” he exhales out, “Inhale,” he repeats his actions again, “Exhale,” he breathes out.

Slowly you begin to follow. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

In no time, your heartbeat begins to slow down, your mind focused enough on the task at hand that you begin to forget why you were ever panicked to begin with. “Hey,” Jungkook whispers, caressing your cheek with his hand, “You’re doing great,” he reassures you, providing you the words of comfort you so desperately needed to hear right now.

It had been so long since you’d gone through having a panic attack, almost forgetting just how bad they could sometimes get. But for now staring into Jungkook’s eyes and practicing some breathing exercises was enough to remember that no matter how bad they got, you’d get through them.

His fingers gently graze your cheeks, continuing to mumble small phrases of reassurance while you were getting control of yourself.  “Has anyone ever told you,” you place a finger to the corner of his eye, quietly breathing your words out, “you have very round eyes,” you say and Jungkook lets a huffed laugh out in response.

He scrunches his nose and smiles, “Yeah, a lot of people have actually,” he laughs, a toothy grin spreading across his face while he uncups your cheeks, feeling a sense of tranquility wash over him as he knew you were going to be just fine, “I’ve been told they look like a doe’s eyes,” you quietly nod your head yes, agreeing with his statement, a warm smile on your face.

“Come on,” he intertwines your fingers, gently pulling you to follow him and leading you to a park bench that was near. But the thing was, it wasn’t just any park bench, it was the park bench from the night Jungkook was drunk and the two of you had gotten into the fight with that drunk man. What were the odds? You hadn’t even noticed that you ran this far till now...  

He exhales a large breath of air once you two sit, allowing a neither comfortable nor awkward silence fill the air. Despite the heartwarming moment that happened only minutes ago, there were still things that needed to be talked about. Things that simply couldn’t be forgotten. It was the sole reason he had gone to the art exhibition because he wanted, no, he needed to talk to you.

He just hadn’t expected to see you running out in complete panic right as he walked in. The tears that were slowly rolling down from your eyes, causing him to feel a sudden sense of heartbreak. For the only reason you’d ever cry would be if your hard work were to be destroyed, whether physically or emotionally. It was the same despaired look you had given him that fateful day he decided to throw everything good that was becoming of his life out the window.

And so to see the scene in front of him play out had definitely caused both a mix of anger and sadness to boil within him. His urge to defend and protect you, almost overcoming his need to go out and make sure you were okay. That was until he found himself running out the door, signalling to Hobi that he’d handle it.

And so now here the two of you were, quietly sitting on a park bench with your hands being the only things physically touching, a comfort of its own for the both of you. It didn’t feel weird nor did it feel wrong because if anything it just felt right.

A part of you thinks and hopes it could remain like this forever, scared that if it didn't, you’d have to return back to the world where you and Jungkook were nothing more than strangers who were once friends. The world where acting as if one or the other didn’t exist was completely normal. The one where you’d find your heart selfishly longing for him despite stubbornly not wanting to. And so whether it be for a small second, a minute, or an hour, for now at least you just wanted to savor the moment because who knew what would possibly happen if he decided to leave and never come back.

“Y/N…” he begins.

“Shh,” you whisper, your puffy eyes softly gazing at the view of the trees in front of you, the silhouettes of trees as well sound of the wind softly pushing against the branches, a view you were once so scared of, not so scary anymore, “Just one more second,” you close your eyes, taking in one final breath of air. Jungkook feels his heart swell at the sight, remembering the scene from only months ago where it had been you doing all the staring. You pull his hand when you’re ready, your soft gaze now directed towards him.

“I just—” he begins to stutter, “I wanted to—” he feels his eyes get watery, the rush of emotion he was beginning to feel almost overwhelming him, “I wanted to say I’m sorry,” his voice slightly cracks, “for everything,” he whispers, allowing a tear to fall from his eye, feeling the weight he had been holding onto his shoulders now falling. The small leaks of vulnerability that you had occasionally seen now completely flooding through his walls of defense, that single tear becoming several, until soon you hear a sob emit from his mouth, but by then you have him wrapped in a hug, the sound of his sobs being muffled by your shoulder. Slowly you caress his hair, gently stroking and twirling the locks of his wavy hair in between your fingers, deciding that this time around silence was the best way to go.

“I’m so sorry,” he hysterically cries, holding onto you tighter, as if you’d go anywhere. He begins to shake his head, struggling to find the words that’d best describe how he felt at this current moment, “I’m—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” it’s your turn to say the words, gently pushing him off you so he could meet your gaze, “I know,” you reassure, “and I forgive you. The same way I’m sure you’ve forgiven me for snooping around your room like that,” you jokingly assume, and he smiles despite having red bloodshot eyes, “We were angry, and we said and did things that we shouldn't had but that doesn’t mean we have to hold them over our own heads for the rest of our lives,” you grip his hand tighter, “you made a mistake, and I made one as well. And rather than explode on one another and ignore each other, we should’ve talked about where we went wrong, and yeah,” you repeat your words from months ago, “maybe we didn’t get to do this as early as we hoped, in fact we’re quite late,” you giggle, “but we’re here nonetheless. And so let’s talk,” you say, ready to listen to the boy you had fallen in love with.  

Jungkook stares at you in silence, a million thoughts racing through his mind, wondering how you always knew exactly what to say at the exact moment, “I,” he hesitates before continuing, “I need to start from the beginning,” he says, wiping any residue from the tears in his eyes, ready to open up the book he had kept closed for so long.

You nod to him, signalling that you were listening, “When I was a kid, I um,” he gulps, “I guess you could say I had a knack for boxing. Originally, my dad had taught me as a way to protect myself if I ever came across a situation that’d require me to defend myself,” his fingers begin to fidget within yours, a sign that he was nervous. Quick to soothe him, you rub small circles on the palms of his hands, his gaze occasionally avoiding eye contact.

“But I also think it was because my dad, who once wanted to be a boxer himself, saw me a way to vicariously live out his dream. Because soon he noticed that the knack I had for it was more of a talent,” a small smile appears on his lips, “and well by then he had begun to seriously train me… I remember always coming back after school and dulging right into practice, waking up on weekends and running laps at the park with my dad in order to gain stamina, and just,” he exhales a breath, “and just thinking to myself how proud I wanted to make him,” uncontrollably a tear falls from his face once again, and he tries to gain his composure before continuing, not wanting to begin the sob fest too early, “Once he thought I was ready, my dad had begun to sign me up for amatuer competitions, and well I did amazing,” Jungkook laughs.

“And soon boxing would become the sport I’d find myself building my life upon, but one day—“ he sighs, knowing the conclusion to his own story and well this was only the beginning, “one day during high school we had this um career day I guess you could call it, and well long story short after going around and listening to how passionate some of spokespersons were of their careers, I remember thinking, is boxing something I was doing for myself or for my father?”

A sad smile appears on his face, “I think the most confusing part for me was that I wasn't exactly passionate about anything else but I also just knew deep down in my heart that boxing wasn’t for me, you know? To this day I don’t know what exactly it is I'm passionate for,” he laughs, “and I certainly don’t see myself making coffee and flipping pancakes for the rest of my life,” he jokes around, an attempt the make the atmosphere a little lighter, “but I think with the help of someone I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s okay to be a bit of a late bloomer,” he winks at you, “one day I’ll wake up and just know…”

You give him a small reassuring smile, happy to know that he’s learned his own lessons along the way, even if it required a bit of pushing.

”But back to my story,” he awkwardly laughs, the small feign of happiness gone, “Though I had realized it already… maybe it was because I was scared, or maybe it was just—” he shakes his head, unable to find the words, “I just,” he sighs, “I just couldn’t tell my dad because for me telling my dad would feel as if I was telling him that all the years of hard work were going down the drain. That the endless nights of working out and exhausting ourselves to sleep were all for nothing. And so when my dad told me that managed to get me a spot at some training camp in the states, I took it. I mean it wasn’t like I had anything going for me here in Korea, and well I needed to guarantee my own future,” he shifts uncomfortably, remembering everything a little too vividly.

“I did pretty well for a couple years, slowly began climbing the ranks, and the natural talent I had for the sport was beginning to really shape itself, even catching the attention of prominent sport reporters. Long story short, I’d find myself surrounded with nothing but yes men and leeches who wanted nothing more than a piece of my so called success,” he gazes off to the distance, ashamed of the ego that had been built as a result of such people, “and well when you get told that you’re the best, that no one can stop you, that you’re untouchable, you truly begin to believe it,” he lets out a chuckle, “so when Brandon Star, a man who was nearly out of my weight class, began to provoke me for a fight on television after winning some match and I kept hearing from my so called friends that it’d be an easy match or that it was a guaranteed win, how could I say no? Of course at the time I didn’t know that they would be betting against me… so I said yes.”

A momentary silence fills the air as Jungkook had never told this whole story to anyone, the revealing of everything somewhat freeing for him, “A part of me knew I was way in over my head, it was like a gut feeling, you know? But I needed someone, anyone, to tell me the truth and to confirm what I was thinking. I needed someone who was going to criticize me instead of nodding their head yes and pretending that everything was going to be just fine. I think that’s why when I first met you, you reminded me so much of the people who were around me in the states, faking a smile in order to spare my feelings.” Sadness clouds his features, ashamed of how he took everything out on you when all you were doing was simply being the person you always were... kind. For that, he was truly sorry.

“Anyways,” he continues, “that night of the fight, the feeling I had in my stomach was overwhelming. I told my dad, who was helping prep me backstage like he always did, that I felt nervous. That I was scared,” his voice cracks and he closes his eyes, remembering the scene as if it was yesterday, “and my dad well...he’s always struggled with separating being a father and being a trainer,” Jungkook tries to contain the sob that’s begging to come out, “but at that moment I just needed my dad. I needed him to tell me that win or lose everything was going to be fine. That he’d be proud of me no matter what,” he finally cries, and as you’re about to pull him into another hug, he vigorously shakes his head, stopping you from doing so.

“No, I need to finish thi—”

“Jungkook,” you softly interrupt because it wasn’t that you didn’t want to hear anymore, you just weren’t sure if you could hear anymore without at some point sobbing yourself,  “you don’t need to, especially if you’re not ready,” you stare at him with a sad look on your face.

“No, you deserve to know,” he firmly states, “you deserve to know,” he quietly repeats to himself. You nod your head in understanding, waiting for him to continue as he wipes away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt, composing himself.

“He told me that I’d do just fine, that the son he’s trained so long for wouldn’t fail him now,” he mumbles, the words of his father still echoing in his mind, “When you go and box, you’re supposed to enter that ring with no concerns of the real world, you’re supposed to put any negative or anxious thoughts you had outside the ring to rest. Because the moment you let just one of those thoughts seep through, you might as well hang up your gloves right then and there,” his expression hardens, “I went into that ring knowing I was going to lose…”

“From there I don’t remember too much,” he bitterly lets out a laugh, “I just remember being on a gurney and feeling the heaviness of Star’s punches beginning to weigh down on my chest, clearly having done some damage to my ribs,” he sighs, “but the moment I remember so clearly is my parents trying to make their way to me, doing their best to push their way in an effort to see me. I don’t know if it was because I was just so mad at myself,” his voice shakes, “or because I confused the look of sadness on my dad’s face with disappointment, but at the time—“ his voice falters again, “At the time I thought how ashamed he must’ve been of me,” he fights through his tears, trudging through the story, “And so as I was being lifted into the truck, I kept yelling how this was his fault, that it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be in this position,” Jungkook lifts his head up, combing a hand through his hair.

“When I got to the hospital, I refused to let my parents see me, I was just too—“ God, did he sometimes wish he could go back in time and change everything, “I was too stubborn, too ashamed with myself to even look at them. So I ran,” he says, catching you by surprise, “I needed time alone so I ran,” he repeats, “I ran before they could find me, I just got up and ran,” there’s a haunting emptiness that lingers in his voice, one that brings chills down your spine.

“I called Hobi, and I told him that I needed to redeem a favor,” your mind flashes back to the night Hobi told you what he knew, “And I thought this is what I needed. That I’d be okay with starting anew, and that if I could firmly plant my feet in Seoul then I could visit my parents in Busan, and tell them how sorry I was without them having to worry too much about what the future would hold for me… and explain to them what happened, what I felt, and why I ran. That was my plan,” his voice cracks, “I was reaching a point in my life where I felt so content, so happy. I’d wake up to see you and Hobi making breakfast while imitating some random girl group dance and think to myself how things had managed to turn out so well for me despite my failure in the states. Or when we binged on One Piece episodes that whole night while stuffing our faces in tubed ice cream and I just felt like a little kid again without a worry in the world. But then …”  

Jungkook feels the heavy feeling in his chest grow, “He passed away,” and just like that Jungkook feels as if the air has come out of his lungs, the same way it did the night he found out.

You feel your heart break at his words, recognition dawning over your face as everything was beginning to make sense. “My mom had managed to find my number in order to tell me there’d been an accident, and I just couldn’t believe it at first,” he attempts to hide his grief by stifling a sob, “I didn’t want to get up from bed at first because getting up would mean facing reality, it’d mean accepting that it wasn’t some kind of twisted fucked up nightmare but that it was real. That the last sight my dad saw of me was on some gurney,” his face twists, “that the last words I ever said to him were so—“ he breaks down, sobbing once again and this time you feel your own hot salty tears fall from your eyes, wrapping in such a tight hug that you weren’t sure if it was for his or your own sake.

He cries a sound so raw that it was almost as if the wound was still freshly cut, his hand clasping tightly onto your clothing for support. Any last defensive wall he had up was washed away by his salty tears, finally facing the final waves of grief, loss, and devastation in the arms of the person he had taken everything out on. The person he didn’t deserve at all, but had stayed nonetheless. You whisper sweet comforting words to his ear, wanting more than his grief to subside so that you could see the smile you loved so much appear on his face again.

“I just wish there was something I could’ve done differently,” he shakes his head, “so that he could know just how much his son loved and appreciated him,” he lifts his head up from your shoulder, wiping his tears away, and practicing his breathing as his chest had been heaving so bad because of his sobs, “And so that was why I completely changed that June and became cold. That was why I got so mad when I saw you in my room with the broken trophy I had gotten when I was a kid because I was just so reminded of everything,” he frowns, “and it had hit me like a freaking truck. To see my current world and the past one collide was just—“ he pauses, “overwhelming to say the least,” he concludes everything and you’re left there completely speechless.

You could’ve never in your wildest dreams even guessed that this was why Jungkook had come back to Seoul and why he had acted so cold for so long. His grievances had happened in such a short period of time, that all it took was one wrong move to set him completely off. No wonder he had kept himself so isolated … he knew he was ticking time bomb waiting to finally explode at any given moment.

The two of you stare at each other in silence, his words processing in both of your minds. You want to say the words that are currently repeating themselves in your mind, I love you. Three simple words that could make him forget his past, even if it was for a small moment in time. “Jungkook—” he looks up at you, “I—” you stutter, the words clinging onto the tip of your tongue, “I um,” you feel your chest become heavy as he stares at you in curiosity, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” you force out instead. He furrows his eyebrows, ready to protest against your apology, but you’re quick to interrupt before he gets the chance to.

“Since you’re being so honest with me, I feel like it’s only right I’m honest with you,” you bite your lip, disappointed with your cowardice, “So that like that we get a better understanding of one another,” you feign a smile.

“There’s a reason why I got so um…” you pause, “anxious before and during the galleria,” you narrow your eyes, it was now your turn to open a book that’d long been left incomplete. “I told you right? That I was an art student at Busan’s Art college but that I ended up transferring after an incident occurred…” He quietly nods, allowing you to continue, “and well I think I’m ready to talk about it,” you let out a breathy chuckle.

He stares at you in silence, ready to listen as well. “Growing up, I really liked painting,” you laugh, recalling the memory of you painting on the walls as a kid, “for some reason it was something I found myself falling further in love with every calendar year, but my parents, well they were on the more skeptical side of making a career out of it. I mean I don’t really blame them,” you sound unsure, “I mean I know that it’s hard these days to find success in the world of arts, or at least the level of success most people want to obtain but originally for me it didn’t matter,” you chuckle, remembering how naive you had been.

“Before entering college, I’d sell my little paintings and merchandise on those small-business centric websites like Etsy and stuff,” you say for example, “and you’re right, when you get told that you’re good at something, you really begin to believe it…”

Jungkook wants to interrupt and tell you that whatever your situation was, was much more different than his. That you were actually good at what you did, no, you were amazing at it. He wasn’t sure if he could listen to you talk down on yourself, but nonetheless he continues to listen.

“My first year of college I met people like Jimin who were so passionate about what they do that it really cemented the idea I had in wanting to turn my water painting into a career,” you sigh, “but in the back of my mind I always did have tiny doubts that lingered, and I always made sure not to feed them too much, but when you’re surrounded by people who are just as talented or even better than you, it gets hard not to.”

Jungkook completely understands where you’re coming from, having been in a similar position himself before. “And it didn’t help that my parents were constantly breathing down my neck about finding a different career to focus on,” you shrug “anyways,” you continue, shaking your head, “In Busan’s Art College, like many other colleges there are departments, like STEM and Business for example, but in this case things are separated by like dance, art, film, et cetera. And well if you can’t tell I’m a bit of a … pushy … person,” you laugh and Jungkook softly smiles, neither agreeing or disagreeing, “I think it’s due to me always feeling a need to overcompensate my insecurities, I guess. Like when you first moved in, in order to reassure myself that you didn’t hate me, the pushy side of me came out,” you explain, and the same way you began to understand Jungkook as he was explaining his story, Jungkook was beginning to understand you as a person.

“Well back to the focal point, I was a part of a committee club for painters within the art department, thinking that if I took charge of something, it’d increase my chances in succeeding in my career once I graduated. But the thing is, is when you join those committees I guess you could say there’s like a hierarchy of some sort, a cliché come to life,” you try your best to keep the conversation as lighthearted as you can, wanting the energy in the air to become one that was positive, a reflection of just how much you two had grown, “and well during my second year we were all assigned a project for some city poster in which we’d present to the committee’s leader, Nari, and where she and a couple of others would then choose which one was going to be used. And let me tell you, this was a career making project. The people who were going to be at the unveiling were names like Ji Hye Yeom, Haegue Yang, and more,” you sigh knowing you were coming to the rough part of the story.

“Nari had specifically told us that we were to only use materials she had chosen for us, and limited us to certain color schemes that in my opinion were the ugliest schemes I’d ever seen,” you scoff, “So me being the pushy person I am, I went ahead and continued with my original plan, which was making a watercolor painting because at the end of the day if my painting did happen to get chosen, I wanted it to be a genuine work of mine, not something that was limited by someone who was no more superior than me all because of some flimsy title,” you softly shake your head, “And so I poured my heart into it, working on it every chance I got during that school year in order to make sure that the committee would be so amazed , they’d have no choice but to choose it even if it didn’t exactly follow Nari’s regulations.”

A feigned smile graces onto your lips, refusing to cry at a situation from years ago, “I was so nervous that day to present it, but I was also so excited. Excited because I knew I created a piece that was so beautiful I—,” for a quick second your voice falters, but you’re quick to catch yourself, “I was just so sure they’d choose it,” you whisper, voice sounding frail and defeated.

“That day I presented it, I thought the silence that filled the room was because they were amazed,” you close your eyes for a moment, trying your best to push back any tears that wanted to make their way out, “God I still remember the extra specks of white and gold I added to it the night before, thinking those extra touches were really going to tip the scale in my favor,” you mumble, the embarrassment you felt that day coming back.

Jungkook feels his jaw harden, at this point an automatic response to the thought of your feelings being hurt. He didn’t know why, but to see someone as kind as you act out of character whether it be because you were mad or sad, always caused a heavy feeling in his chest. The only thing you deserved to feel was happiness and comfort, and though he wasn’t sure it was something, he, himself, could guarantee you … he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try.

“After what felt like 20 minutes, of complete silence she slowly got up in front of everyone,” you blankly stare at the trees in front of you, “I remember my heart beating out of my freaking chest for some reason, and the sweat beginning to form at my palms. And the moment she started speaking, I just went blank—” you turn to face Jungkook, who had a worrisome look on his face, “She started to berate me in front of everyone, insulting my hard work and telling me that even despite me breaking her guidelines, the painting still wasn’t any good,” you gulp, “But in fact, her words didn’t bother me at all,” you pause, “it was the comments from my supposed peers that really twisted the knife for me,” you scoff, “and then she did the unthinkable...”

Jungkook feels the heavy weight in his chest drop because he knows what you’re about to say. He knows what that woman did. And he knows why you were so hurt when he destroyed your painting, “She grabbed the canvas from the display board, and she ripped it,” you say, managing to muster up the smallest of smiles, but Jungkook knows that it's nothing more than a facade. An illusion so that he could think that you were no longer hurt by the actions of that woman.

“Once she did that, it just triggered everything else that followed after,” you furrow your brows, refusing to look at Jungkook, “I was being laughed at while having a panic attack,” you scoff, “I felt like I was in a scene from a high school movie,” you attempt to mask your hurt by making a joke.

“I ended up running out of the building, feeling as if my heart was going to explode from how fast it was pounding, and the compression in my throat was almost unbearable,” your voice cracks, “in just 20 minutes she took away any confidence I had in my artistic abilities, In just 20 minutes she made me question everything I knew about myself,” a tear finally falls from your eye, speaking the words you’d never said out loud before into the world.

“I attempted to stay at the school for a couple more weeks after that, but every time I picked up a paint brush, I just kept hearing her words along with the rest of my peers’ as well, second guessing every stroke I made on canvas. I had lost my spark,” you stifle a sob, “After that, I decided to transfer out and follow the plans’ my parents had always set out for me… and well, you know the rest,” you laugh in between your tears, wondering just how pitiful you must’ve looked. But soon enough you feel Jungkook's arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug so tight, you never wanted him to let go.

“Don’t leave,” you mumble into his chest.

Jungkook reassures you by cooing a small, “I won’t”, but gently you pull away once he does, holding onto his hand instead. A look of confusion washes over his face.

“No—” you shake your head, realizing he’s misunderstood, “I mean don’t leave our apartment,” you sniffle, giving him a small warm smile, leftover tears still brimming the corners of your eyes. His mouth gapes slightly open, taken back by your statement. He had completely forgotten that he was supposed to be moving out by Monday.

“We—” you shake your head, deciding that “we” wasn’t the right word in this case, “I need you,” you state, nothing but sincerity behind your words. Jungkook feels his heart skip a beat, the close-eyed soft smile that covers your face only making him smile in return.

He doesn’t need to say anything because you know … you know that he needs you just as much as you need him. You know that he’ll never leave your side from this day on because tonight was the start of a new chapter in your lives, one that included each other. Gently he pulls you into another hug, the warm fuzzy feeling in his chest being a feeling he could get used to.

“How did you even know where the venue was, or what the time the whole thing was?” you ask Jungkook, questions that hadn’t crossed your mind that day now forming.

“Hobi sent me a text that same night, very um … straightforward?” Jungkook chuckles, “It read, Art Exhibition. **** Namgang-Ro. 7:30 PM. Formal attire. You either go or you don’t. Up to you. Just don’t go crying later on that you regret not going. And well I had debated for several hours, originally chickening out and deciding to use me not having any formal suits as an excuse. That was until I walked into my room to find that Hobi had ironed one of his own for me to use,” Jungkook explains, “And well luckily I grew some balls and went and well now we’re here,” he smiles at you.

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t cut off too much of the story. We still have to remember all the good that came afterward,” you giggle, and he only flashes you an even bigger smile.

“Ah you’re right, you’re right. How could I forget?”

October 2019. 

“Happy Halloween!” you and Jungkook wave to the kid dressed as Iron Man, glancing at the clock which currently read 10:00PM. Mm you’d give it one more hour before permanently closing your doors and calling it a day even if Jungkook protested for more time.

“Happy Halloween!” you and Jungkook wave to the kid dressed as Iron Man, glancing at the clock which currently read 10:00PM. Mm you’d give it one more hour before permanently closing your doors and calling it a day even if Jungkook protested for more time.

You see, tonight was Halloween, and for the first time since you and Hobi moved to your guys’  apartment, you were giving out candy to the little kids of your apartment complex who usually went floor to floor trick or treating and it was all thanks to Jungkook. You were surprised really, you would’ve never taken Jungkook as being someone who was such a kid at heart.

After weeks of begging, he’d finally managed to convince you and Hobi to not only dress, but distribute candy. Usually you and Hobi would turn off all the lights and ignore the knocks you’d receive on the door, choosing to have a movie night than to participate in Halloween festivities.

Realistically speaking, you sorta expected Jungkook to go out and party tonight which is why when he notified you weeks prior that all of you were going to be participating in giving out candy, you couldn’t find it in you to say no. Hobi on the other hand required a lot of convincing and though he wasn’t exactly helping with the distribution of candy, watching him dressed as Batman while lazily sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in his hand was a gift in its own.

Jungkook, who desperately wanted to be a male version of Harley Quinn, had made you help him with cinching his crop top, exposing his toned lower abdomen every time he even stretched the slightest bit. It was…. quite a site … even causing several moms with their kids to “accidentally” stumble on your apartment floor again after only being there 10 minutes prior, your own little green monster finally making its appearance ….

But besides that, your favorite part of his whole costume was definitely the face/eye makeup he had done. The smoky blue and red along with the fake tatted heart under his left eye truly acting as the selling point of his costume. It just made him look very hot, more than usual. Hobi had even caught you staring at the boy on several occasions, teasingly nudging you whenever he did.

With Hobi dressed as Batman and Jungkook dressed as Harley Quinn, that of course only left you, who was currently dressed as none other than a female version of the Joker from Suicide Squad because despite how shitty the movie was, the style in which they made the Joker was still indeed very cool. Jungkook had even lent you his own natural artistic abilities to draw the tattoos where your dominant hand couldn’t firmly paint, laughing at the “twinsies” jokes you made in reference to his own tattoos. It had even given you the opportunity to ask him what each one of his own real tattoos meant to him.

Most of his tattoos, he explained, were done out of impulse. A majority of them being done in the states on a complete whim, but a couple of them held significant meaning to him. For example, his tattoo of a bandaged hand clearly represented his history with boxing. He explained that rather than get the overused boxing gloves as a tattoo, he’d get a simple bandaged hand done, deciding that it looked cooler and that you agreed with. Another example was the tattoo that translated to “Life Goes On” which was pretty self-explanatory, but meaningful nonetheless. Jungkook explained that it was one his favorite mottos growing up, and well recently it seemed to weave perfectly into his life.

But your favorite tattoo? The small One Piece manga strip he had across his left forearm. The story behind it almost caused you to shed a tear, had it not been for your white powdered makeup, you probably would've cried. You see, when Jungkook was a young boy he’d always watch One Piece as a distraction from boxing, falling in love with the story and its characters.

His dad, who’d always scold him whenever he caught him late at night watching the anime, never understood why Jungkook liked the show so much. It wasn’t until one night he somehow managed to convince his dad to watch the episode he was on, and despite not knowing anything about what was going on nor the characters’ names, his dad ended up loving the show just as much as him. The show had acted as a new bond between the two, from buying the latest manga volumes to staying up late at night to watch the newest episode. And well the strip on Jungkook’s arm was from the exact episode he had managed to convince his dad to watch with him that night. The tattoo serves as a representation of a memory he holds dearest to him, a memory of his dad.

“Ah I think that’s the last of it,” Jungkook looks into the last bag of candy he had bought, absolutely nothing left inside, “Wasn’t this fu—”

“Let’s go get a tattoo,” you interrupt, the idea coming to you out of nowhere. Jungkook tilts his head in confusion, eyebrows furrowing. A tattoo? You? Ms. I do not even have a dot of ink on my skin?

“A tattoo!?” Hobi turns from the TV, now having got his attention.

Both men stare at you in silence, thinking this was all some big joke until you begin to nod, reaffirming your choice, “Yes! All three of us! Matching roommate tattoos,” you smile, not exactly sure what had gotten into you, but surprisingly... completely okay with it.

Jungkook, noticing just how serious you were about this, begins to feel a smile form on his face. It wasn’t like he minded, he just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to regret it the next morning, “Y/N, you sure you one? I mean … you’re not someone I picture getting a tattoo, I mean think of your job,” he chuckles.

“Yeah, think of your job!” Hobi butts in, clearly not in favor of getting a tattoo.

Vigorously, you nod your head, “I’m one hundred percent sure,” you laugh, “I promise you, I won’t regret it,” you stick out your pinky finger, and Jungkook is quick to hug it with his own.

“W-What the?” Hobi stutters, unsure if it was the alcohol or shock in his system causing it. Probably both.

You turn to Hobi, “If you really don’t want it, then you don’t have to get it,” you shrug, “But at least come with us,” you smile, hoping that once you were there at the parlor shop you’d be able to convince him.

Sitting on the leather stool with your forearm displayed, the tattooist begins to prep your skin placing rubbing alcohol on the area in which you had chosen to get your tattoo. Now that you are here, you couldn’t lie, you were a bit nervous. But mostly because you were skeptical of the pain the needle would give you. 

Jungkook had described it as “a cat repeatedly scratching a sunburn”... as if you were supposed to know what that means. He also said that depending on your pain tolerance you’d either like the feeling, get used to it, or absolutely hate it. It just varied from person to person as well as the placement where you were choosing to get it.

Supposedly the inner wrist didn’t hurt, but with the sudden stinging sensation you were feeling, you were a bit unsure of that now.

“So is that your boyfriend out there?” the woman tattooing you suddenly asks, catching you completely by surprise. If she didn’t have a pricking needle against your skin , you probably would’ve jumped at the accusation.

Trying your best to keep your cool, you respond, “Oh um—” you shake your head, “No,” you awkwardly laugh, “I wish”, you think to yourself.

“Hmm,” she hums, the same smirk Jimin once gave you appearing on her face, “Sorta seemed like it out there, I mean I’m sure if he had the option he would’ve chosen to sit here right next to you and hold your hand,” she teases, and a blush appears on your cheeks.

“Oh that’s just how he is with everyone,” you reason, not wanting to feed into the delusions that Jungkook could possibly return any feelings for you, “He’s a very protective person, sometimes a little too much, but it has its benefits,” you joke around.

She shrugs, continuing to work on the small tattoo, “”Mm I don’t know, I mean the way with the way he looks at youuuu,” she sings, “because you clearly like him,” she laughs.

“No I don’t!” you pout, “We’re just close friends, that’s all….”

“Close friends don’t look at each other like that, and they’re certainly not as touchy as you two are,” she says, only causing you to scoff.

“You don’t know what you’re ta—”

“All done!” she smiles, wiping over the fresh new ink on your skin one last time, “Look how easy it was for me to get you to stop wincing so much,” she winks at you, and suddenly everything begins to make sense. She was trying to get you to relax. Was the topic she chose really the best one? No. But it worked didn’t it?

She places the plastic wrap over it, “So what do you think?” you stare at the new permanent piece of work on your skin, a small smile gracing your lips.

“Ah I—”

“Love it so much!” you flash Jungkook the two-month old ink on your skin, the digital numbers “00:00” acting as a permanent reminder of the day all three of you officially became roommates. It was small, yes, but to you it meant so much.

Jungkook pulls his own sleeve, showing you his own matching ink, “Zero o’ clock,” he hums, recalling a song he heard not too long ago on the radio.

“Ah too bad we couldn’t convince Hobi to get one,” you sigh, remembering how firm he was that night, “but we’ll get him next time,” you laugh.

Jungkook quirks his brow, “Next time?”

You nod your head, “I can see why people get addicted to these things,” you joke, “they’re like their own pieces of art,” you smile.

“Design mine next time,” he suddenly says, his statement coming off more as a command than a question. Turning to face him, you look for any small sign that he was joking.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” he pops the ‘p’, “I think a watercolor style painting would look amazing rightttt,” he points to the side of his ribcage, “here.”

Eyes widening in shock, you’re in complete disbelief, “You—you’re crazy!” you laugh, refusing to take him seriously.

“Ah I’m being serious Y/N,” he pouts, “Come on you know you want toooo,” he sings, softly nudging you.

You stare at him for a moment, “Are you sure?” you ask, skeptical about his seriousness.

He nods, “As sure as you were about getting that tattoo that night,” he teases, and you only roll your eyes in return.

“Mmm,” you hum, “I’ll think about it.”

“Think?! I’m your roommate!” he dramatically complains, throwing his head against your shoulder, suddenly in a clingy mood. Maybe the tattooist was right… maybe you two were a little too touchy….

You mean, just last month during friendsgiving, Hobi just had to complain in front of everyone claiming, “If you two don’t get your own room—”

“Then I think at some point this turkey is going to come back alive just to tell you two himself,” he slurs his words, wine glass in hand.

Drunk Yoongi tags in, “How do you know it’s a he?” he squints his eyes, gearing up for a debate.

Hobi rolls his eyes and makes a dismissive motion with his hand, “Not now Yoongi,” he says, causing everyone sitting at the table to laugh, and he turns his attention back to you and Jungkook, currently sitting next to each other, “Are you two going to continue playing footsies or are you finally going to—”

Seokjin interrupts by awkwardly coughing and tapping his champagne glass with his fork, getting up from his seat in the process, “I think it’s the perfect time to do our annual “What am I thankful for” toast, so I’ll begin,” he laughs, all eyes on him, “So um this year I am thankful for all of my friends who continuously stick by side throughout the years, and for the wonderful woman I’ve grown to love more and more every day,” he warmly smiles at his girlfriend, the two already seeming like a married couple despite having only met this year. Seokjin turns his attention to Yoongi, signalling that it was his turn.

He groans before getting up, peeved as to why Seokjin always insisted on doing these things, “Okay okay—”

“This is gonna take a while,” you whisper to Jungkook, Yoongi’s speech now fading into the background.

Jungkook quietly chuckles in response, “You think? How long do you think it’ll take before he starts with his  “back in my day” speech?” he jokes around.

Suddenly Yoongi’s voice becomes more audible, “Back in my day we didn’t use—”

You and Jungkook snortle a laugh, “Not long,” you respond, the two of you trying your best to keep your snickering at a low.

“So … got anything prepared?” he asks, this being his first year and all doing this kind of thing, he was a bit nervous as to what to say.

You shake your head, “Mm no, you just sorta say what’s on your mind? I guess?” you awkwardly laugh, “Trust me, as long as they have their bottles of soju next to them, whatever you say will go in one ear and out the other,” you reassure, remembering the first year you did this and gave a heartwarming speech, just for it to be ignored because Namjoon could’ve sworn he’d seen the “turkey move”. From there it led to an hour debate on whether a dead freaking turkey could still possibly be alive after having it in the oven for several hours.

He nods his head, noting what you’ve said.

After going around it was now the last toast of the night,“Ah and lastly onto our newest member in this friend group,” Namjoon, who had just finished his own speech, turns to Jungkook and pats his shoulder, “take it away,” he gives him a dimpled smile before sitting back in his seat.  

Jungkook awkwardly blinks at him for a moment, not getting up until you nudge him to do so. “Oh yeah…” he forces a laugh, “Um so where do I begin,” you almost feel second hand embarrassment, if you thought you weren’t any good under pressure, Jungkook might take the crown.

“So… The first thing I want to say I’m thankful for are the new friends I’ve made since coming to Seoul,” he spares a glance to the boys, “um..” he bites his lip, “The second thing or person may I say, that I want to thank is Hobi…” he smiles at the drunk man, “well for giving me a second chance per say,” he chuckles, “I know I don’t say it often, but I’m truly grateful for you picking up my call that night,” Hobi gives a small warm smile, “And well the last person I want really want to mention that I’m thankful for is … you,” Jungkook suddenly turns his attention down to you, catching you by surprise.

Raising your eyebrows, you wonder where this is coming from, “I um—” he feighs a small laugh, “I know I wasn’t exactly the nicest person when I first moved in, but—” he exhales a breath, “But you gave continuously gave me a chance to prove otherwise every single time until I finally got it right,” he smiles, “and well last year I had a pretty rough year,” he jokes around, “and honestly I thought coming in 2019 it’d be just bad, but you single handedly proved me wrong and made sure this was going to be a year for me to remember and well for that I’m forever grateful,” you silently blink away any tears, not wanting to get teased at for crying after this his speech was done. He breaks away the gaze he held on you in order to finish his speech off, “So with that I say … cheers everyone!”

Everyone raises their glasses of whatever it was they chose to drink, clinking it all in the middle and repeating “Cheers!” before gulping down whatever was left of their drinks. The rest of the night is filled with nothing but laughs and joy, as well as the remainder of the month, every single day creating a new memory for the three of you, until you were left with nothing but...

“The present day,” you whisper to yourself, unable to believe that the year had gone by so fast.

“What a year it’s been huh…” Jungkook softly smiles, glancing at the time on his phone which reads 11:50. 10 more minutes until the new year. 10 more minutes until zero’o clock.

“Yeah…” a comfortable silence fills the air around you, how had the hour gone by in the blink of an eye? You wonder if it’s the effect Jungkook just naturally has on people because never did you find time going by so fast unless you were with him.

“I—”

“So—”

Your cheeks become a tinge of pink , “Oh you go first—” he shakes his head.

“No, no, go ahead,” he laughs, insisting that you go instead.

This was the perfect chance, the chance to tell him about the feelings you’d grown to have for him in the past year. You just needed to grow the courage to say those three letter words that were itching to be said. It was either now or never.  

“I um, I just wanted to say thank you,” you chicken out once again, “I didn’t get the chance to say it on friendsgiving, but,” you gulp, “your speech it um meant a lot to me, and well I’m just as grateful for you,” you chuckle, “I think maybe even more.”

Had you noticed, you would’ve seen the slightly disappointed look on Jungkook’s face, “Oh..” he says, a small pout appearing on his face.

“What were you going to say?” you ask, faking the pep in your voice, ready to eternally scold yourself for being a chicken once you got back to the cabin.

He sighs, “It’s nothing really,” he shrugs, but you nudge his shoulder before he could divert the conversation elsewhere.

“Come on, just say it,” you tease, “because you either speak now or forever hold your piece,” you look at the time, “5 minutes till midnight.”

He stays silent for a moment, contemplating whether or not he should say what had been on his mind for quite some time, “I um—” fuck it, it was either now or never, “You know how I told you that I couldn’t sleep right? That it’s why I came out here…” you innocently nod your head as he continues, “well it’s cause I had already sorta been thinking about everything that’s happened this year…” he lets out a small chuckle.

“I mean isn’t it crazy?” he pushes his hair back with his hand, “Someone who was nothing more than a stranger before the clock hit twelve that night is now someone I can’t picture not being in my life,” you feel your heart flutter at his words, “And I mean to think we didn’t get along at first,” he lets out a breath of disbelief, “All because I was a person who was—” he pauses, unsure of how to describe himself from that time, “angry,” he decides to say, “I was an angry person who mad at the world,” he bites his lip in retribution for his attitude back then.

“No,” you laugh, shaking your head, “you were just someone who was… hurt. That’s all it was,” you say.

“You think?” you nod your head yes, “I never really thought about it like that,” he mumbles, “Would you do it all over again?” he suddenly asks, and you find yourself quirking your brow at his question, “Like if you had the chance would you do it all over again…” he further explains.

Without a second thought you say, “Yeah I would,” you giggle, “And you?”

He remains silent for a moment, pondering on his own question before nodding his head as well, “I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again because then I’d get to relive the process of falling in love with you all over again,” he finally says, “I’d get to pinpoint the exact moment this year that I fell in love with you.”

“In ten, nine, eight…” the families around you begin to shout the countdown, and all you can do is stare at Jungkook in disbelief of what you just heard come out of his mouth.

“Y-You love me?” you manage to stutter out, a smile now forming on your lips.

“Seven, six, five…..”

Silently, he nods his head, a loving smile on his face as he leans towards you, the flutter in your stomach only intensifying.

“Four, three, two, one….”

And as if time had stopped, his lips finally meet yours and the only thing you could feel were the placement of warm lips against yours, giving you a New Year’s kiss that would be remembered for years to come.

“Happy New Year!” the sound of fireworks popping are echoed in the background because the only thing you could focus on were the soft lips that were moving with yours. His fingers curl around yours, creating such an intimacy that you were sure you had to be dreaming. It wasn’t until you found yourself kissing him back that the reality of everything finally set in. Jungkook loved you.

Slowly he pulls away, savoring the kiss till its very last moment, “Happy New Years Y/N,” he whispers, a grin plastered on his face.

Laughing in return, you smile, “Happy New Years Jungkook.”

**

Once you and Jungkook returned to the cabin, you were met with several complaints from Hobi, “Finally! We’ve been freezing all night!” Hobi exclaimed the moment you two walked in, harshly grabbing the firewood from Jungkook’s hands. It wasn’t until he peeped your linked arms that everything began to make sense, “Ahhh,” he gives you two a toothy grin, “You guys, look who’ve finally confessed to one another,” he yells, catching the attention of everyone in the living room.

Suddenly the room is filled with several “finally’s” causing both of your mouths to slightly agape open. “What do you mean “finally” ?” you furrow your eyebrows, looking at Hobi for an explanation.

He scoffs, “Don’t act dense you two!” he laughs, “It was so obvious you two liked one another, you two were just too blind to see it yourselves,” he scolds both you and Jungkook by flicking your foreheads, “You just didn’t have to go confessing while all of us were freezing in here!”

Both you and Jungkook awkwardly laugh, a guilty look on one another’s face. “Well choo you two before I make you two clean everything up and babysit our friends!” Hobi makes a motion with his hands, and the two of you are quick to make your way upstairs into Jungkook’s room. Thankful that he didn’t punish the two of you.

Jungkook is quick to take off his puffy jacket, plopping himself onto the bed like a little kid, a loud breathy sigh following after. You stare at him for a moment, unsure of what to do, that is until you see him open his arms wide with a pout appearing on his face, “Come onnn,” he sings, “Let’s cuddle,” he shoots you a smile.

Playfully you roll your eyes before taking off your own jacket, plopping onto the spot next to him. Small feverish giggles escape your lips once he begins to give you tiny kisses all over, enveloping you in a hug so tight, it would’ve been impossible to ever doubt his feelings for you.

“Jungkook stop,” you laugh, the tickles he was now giving you making the sides of your stomach hurt, “Jung—” you attempt to push his hand away, face becoming red at just how much you were laughing, his own high-pitched laugh echoing across the walls of the room with you. From there he does a mixture of both tickling and kissing you, the two of you truly in your own world.

Soon though, your little game of tickles becomes a full on makeout session, not that you were complaining. Currently you lay under him with Jungkook leaning against you, using his arm that rested on the bed as support.

Slowly he slips his tongue into your mouth, gentle but demanding, nothing less than pure love behind the kiss. “Jungkooook,” you quietly whine once he begins to move onto your neck, every suckle lasting a little longer than the last. His hand interlocks with yours as he continues, you’re hand subconsciously playing with his hair from behind, making small twirls with the brown wavy locks of hair.

“I love youuu,” he cooes, a certain gleam to his eyes. Soon enough, his fingers were teasingly playing with the waistband of your leggings. And God, were you dripping. “Can I?” he innocently looks at you, licking his lips in the process. You’d be crazy to say no.

Nodding your head yes, he nudges your legs apart and begins to pull off the cotton fabric from your legs. You help him along the way, desperate to receive your own pleasure.

Teasingly, he swipes his index finger over the fabric of your underwear, continuing to pepper you with warm kisses on the underside of your jaw. The grip you had on his hair became tighter with every swipe, “Aren’t you wet?” he slyly chuckles, rubbing small circles with his placed finger.

“Stop teasing,” you whine, only causing him to muffle a laugh against your shoulder.

“I just wanna take my timeeeee,” he hums, placing a kiss to your cheek, “Can I take my time?” he pouts, only causing you to roll your eyes, agreeing nonetheless, “That’s my girl,” he whispers, pecking you on the lips before continuing, cupping your cheek with his … unoccupied … hand.

“God you’re beautiful,” he says staring at your pleasured expression, a result of the friction between his finger and your underwear becoming more intense.

“Jungkook,” your voice shakes, wanting needing him to do something before the muscles in your leg spasm any more.

“Shh shh not too loud,” he softly mumbles, because considering how drunk the boys’ were, any loud noise and you’d have someone idiotically stumbling into the room in order to find out whatever the noise was. Not wanting you to complain any more, he slips his finger under your underwear, pressing both his middle and index finger to the centerfold of your sex, “Look how wet you are,” he smirks, coaxing another moan from your lips.

Jungkook couldn’t lie, he’d envisioned this moment a couple of times before, but to have it becoming a reality was completely different than what he imagined. It was indeed better.

“I bet you’d love for me to take these off,” he teasingly pretends to pull down your panties, knowing exactly what he was doing.

“Please Jungkook,” you cry, how was it possible to already be on the verge of releasing when he hadn’t even done anything explicit yet? He begins to move his fingers up and down your clit, coating his fingers with your wetness, preparing to insert his fingers in your aching hole, “Please—” you attempt to whimper his name again, but his lips passionately kiss you before you get the chance to. It’s once he does that, that the energy in the room shifts, becoming one of playful teasingness to one of passion and love. It’s while he kisses you that he finally sinks his single finger into your pussy, your wetness helping him in gradually picking up the pace until soon enough he’s able to slip in another. Your moan being suppressed by the pressing of his lips against yours, softly nibbling on your lower lip.  

“So fucking tight,” he mutters, the squelching sounds coming from your pussy bringing him a sense of pleasure, “Can’t wait to make love to you,” he whispers watching as your eyes lazily roll back, the sight being one he’d remember for a very long time.

“J—Just like that Jungkook,” you manage to stutter out, your arousal dripping in and out of your pussy as he continues with his motions. By now you feel his hardened member kneading against panties, his self-restraint holding on by a string. God, did he wanna fuck your brains out already. Had you been some kind of one night stand and he probably would already be doing so, but you, well you were different. You were his. And he was going to make sure you knew it to.

With his other hand he begins to slide his way under your shirt, caressing your breasts while fingering you, “Take off the shirt,” he mumbles while planting kisses on your neck, and you’re quick to obey, pulling the shirt over your head and uncaringly throwing it onto the floor.

By now you were dressed in only your underwear and bra, which to you seemed a bit unfair and so purposely you begin to play with the hem of his shirt, in hopes that he’d get the message. When he doesn’t, you momentarily stop him from kissing you any further, mumbling a tiny, “Mm take off your shirt,” causing him to let out a breathy laugh. He does as told, exposing the toned torso you’d find yourself frequently gawking over for in the past year. Because truly, his body proportions were insane.

Gently pulling him from his hair, you deepen the kiss by running your other hand across his bare back, the warm skin to skin touch providing another level of intimacy. “Let me eat you out,” he murmurs against your lips, waiting for a simple three letter word so that he can finally pull off your panties.

Instead you give him a small “MmHm,” with a small nod which in this case would suffice as he was sure you were too lost in your own world of pleasure to properly respond. Delicately he removes your underwear, parting your legs in between before lowering his head.

Without saying a word, he runs his finger against your slit, licking and sucking on the fluid that dripped from his finger. What. A. Fucking. Tease. “Jungkooook,” you whine like a brat, the heat you felt below almost unbearable at this point.

“What a pretty pussy,” he rasps, gives your clit a gentle kiss before suckling against it, his saliva mixing with your fluids. Immediately you feel a wave of pure bliss, your fingers slightly trembling at just how good the sudden sensation felt.

“Oh God Jungkook,” you needily whisper once he slips his finger back inside, pushing it deep into your core all while eating you out. Your breathy moans along with the sound of your wet pussy being toyed around with, fill the room. With your eyes half-open, you manage to look down at the sight of Jungkook licking through your folds, his messy hair covering most of his face until you use your hand to push it back, wanting to savor the view in front of you.

“Just look at you,” he groans, admiring the view of your back arched along with your thighs which slightly quivered at the flicks of his tongue, “All fucking mine, you got that?” he asks.

When you don’t respond, he inserts a second finger, catching your attention.

“Yes!” you cry at the sudden jolt of pleasure, his fingers scissoring inside of you, “I’m all yours,” you answer and to that he smirks, curling his fingers inside you. His ego at a level unthinkable. From there he continues to suck and slurp any remnants of your wetness, ignoring your warnings that you were about to orgasm.

It isn’t until he feels a quick rougher than usual tug to the hair followed with a gentle release that he knows you’ve came. Only then does he stop, quickly making his way to sweetly kiss you as you ride through your orgasm. You barely manage to kiss him back, too overwhelmed by orgasm he just brought down on you.

He cups your face once again, making out with you once again even if you were lazily kissing him back, “Jungkook,” you croak out, “Make love to me,” you dazedly whisper, recalling his words from earlier, and without a single word he begins to kiss you again, this time even more passionately (if that was possible) your words triggering a certain fire within him. And despite being in a post-orgasm state, you kiss him with just as much passion as he is doing to you.

By now the two of your hands’ were entangled with each others’ hair, Jungkook roughly pressing his clothed erection against the barity of your pussy. Releasing one of his hands from his hair, he smoothly travels down your back, removing the clasp of your bra with his hand. Deciding not to question his skills, you help further remove it until you’re only left completely nude. Your tits now on full display for him.  

He soon begins to tenderly suck on your hardened nipples, one hand caressing the opposing tit whenever he was sucking on one, providing equal attention to both. You begin to play with the button of his black pants, desperately ready to have Jungkook completely inside you. Jungkook notices your lack of patience, deciding that just this time he’d give you what you want.

Pushing himself off you, he begins to unbutton his pants, your heart now beating out of excitement once you see the band of his black boxers. This was really happening. And though you’d seen Jungkook’s cock before, specifically with a woman having it wrapped inside her mouth, to see it this time around was definitely much more shocking than the first…. Was he always this big? The veins that run along his fair-colored cock only add to it’s intimidating appearance.

Pushing himself back on you, he sloppily kisses you all over, from your mouth to the side of your neck, slowly making his way downard. His cock teases the slit of your entrance, coaxing along the delicate folds of your pussy. Intertwining his hand with yours, he looks at you one last time, “You ready?” he breathes out.

Biting your lip, you slowly nod your head yes, his head then slowly pushing into your tight entrance, a groan coming from both of your lips, “God I fucking love you,” he breathily moans beside your ear.

“I love you too,” you whisper in return, his gaze never leaving yours as his cock tortuously enters you inch by inch, the grip you have on his hand tightening with every passing second, “Oh my god,” you whimper, his pre-cum along with your prior wetness making the push inside more bearable.  

It isn’t until you’re completely filled up by his cock that he slowly begins to move. Each and every deep thrust garnerning both whines and mewls from you, “Fuck,” he moans, his voice raspy from pleasurable sensation he was feeling. Somehow he manages to continue to plaster kisses all over you, his hands tightly wrapped around your waist as he continues to grind his hips against yours, making nothing but love to you.

Your hot walls now take him with ease, the small pressure you had originally felt having slowly faded away. He keeps his thrusts at a moderate pace, wanting to savor the moment.

“J—Jungkook,” you cry out, feeling your second orgasm coming as you wrap your legs around his waist. He begins to pick up his pace, “Faster,” you moan, remembering that he was definitely okay with having rough sex, considering how many times you’d have to hear other woman moan just how harder they wanted back in the beginning of last year. Who said he couldn’t do the same for you?

“Faster?” he questions, a certain spark now in his eye, “You sure?” eagerly you nod your head yes, too lost in the idea of your possible orgasm to think of the repercussions of your answer. Because soon you find yourself getting completely fucked out, the pace of his thrust becoming almost uncomparable to the pace he was going before, this time not caring at all for rhythm. By now you're sure that your different number of cries and moans could be heard from downstairs, but honestly you could give less of a fuck.

The sound of your skin slapping with his echo against the wooden walls, your eyes screwing shut as you felt your high come. His rapid thrust continuing as he fucks you into oblivion, “Just look at you, creaming on my fucking cock,” he groans, by now sweat was forming on the creases of his forehead, “and to think I get to have you like this all to myself, every single day,” he chuckles, the tight feeling in his abdomen signalling to him that his own release was coming.

“Cum in me Jungkook,” you whine, and with that he does, his white milky cum coating your walls from the inside and out. He admires the view in front of him, the sight of you completely fucked out with his cum dripping from the entrance of your pussy, wondering how he got so lucky.

Out of breath, the two of you cuddle with one another, your eyes half closed, ready to knock out at any moment. But before you do, Jungkook peppers one last kiss onto your cheek, mumbling a final “I love you,” ready for the new memories this year would bring for the two of you.

a/n : ahhhhhh! finally finished with my finals so i was able to finally get this done! for some reason i sorta got attached to this couple, i think it’s because we got to see literally every month of their forming relationship so i just ended up really loving the dynamic between the two lmao. butttt all stories must come to an end :( and i’m very happy with how this story came out, but who knows maybe we’ll this couple again in the future. anywayssss like, reblog, comment, message me an anon or even directly! anything is appreciated (I swear im not a mean person) and ill see yall next time! 💞 

mini taglist: @ggukkieland​ @unicornbabylover​ 

[fluffymcu]

Ik you've probably been getting a lot of prompts, but I was wondering if you'd feel inspired to write this one?

So platonic Steve x reader, where she has a sticker or something stuck to the side of her shirt, and when Steve starts trying to get it off, she squirms and he notices. Then he can tell that she's trying so hard to hide the fact that she is super ticklish and he exposes her and thinks it's so cute! (And of course wrecks her)

Sorry if this is bad lol

———

“Our school is making us come up with our own glue adhesive as a school project. We have 2 weeks to turn it in and have to use these laminated papers to put the adhesive on. I’m so gonna use bits of my web formula to make the best sticker!” Peter chortled, telling everyone about his project at dinner.

You nodded with a hum, taking another bite of spaghetti. “Cool. How much have you gotten done?” You asked.

“I’ve done many samples dealing with different strengths and thicknesses. All I have to do is apply them to the papers.” He nodded.

——

The next morning you woke up extra early due to Thor coming in and asking you where the PS4 controller was at. You told him it was where you left it last but he proceeded to say it wasn’t there and made you get up and look for it with him; claiming that Korg was waiting for him to join the ps party. After that, you just decided to stay up and make yourself some coffee since you were still more than half asleep.

Once you made your mug, you lazily sipped and laid your upper body flat on the island, sighing in content at the cold feeling of the counter on your face. Just then, Steve walked in the kitchen and gave you a bright smile. “You’re up early!” He grinned, wiping off his forehead with his towel even though he was barely sweating. That man could spend hours at the gym and come out without a drop of sweat.

“Sarcastic thanks to Thor for that.” You jazzed your hands. Steve chuckled and patted your back.

“Go back to sleep then, sleepy head!”

Right as you were about to agree, Peter walked in the kitchen, overdoing his safety gear. Goggles, gloves, an apron, and even a hair net. All that for glue?

He stopped in his tracks once he saw you. “Uhh, y/n? Did you lay on my stickers?” He asked, a nervous tone is his voice. You furrowed your eyebrows and leaned up to check your side. You had indeed laid on his sticker. Your eyes widened.

“Oh, goddd.” You groaned. “Can it come off easily?”

“I mean, I did use the same components as my web formula so, I’m guessing it’ll be really... sticky?” He shrugged apologetically.

“Why were you doing your school project on the kitchen counter?” You cried.

“In my defense! None of you are up this early except Steve so I was planning to be done with this by the time you’d all be up!” He raised his hands defensively.

Steve bit his lip and stepped toward you. “Here, lemme see if I can take it off.” He said, taking a seat on the island stool and motioning for you to come close.

Since the sticker was stuck on your side, right under your armpit and on your ribs, when he began to try to pull it off, the constant scratching at it was tickling a lot. You pursed your lips and tensed up, closing your eyes and trying to steady your breaths.

“In the mean time, I’ll go see if I can find my web dissolving solution. Hopefully that could help!” Peter said, running up to his little mini lab Tony made for him.

“Why didn’t he just do his experiment in his lab?” Steve chuckled. You shook your head along with him.

“But have you seen his lab? It’s a mess. I’d be surprised if he’d actually be able to find that solution in that pile of storage boxes.” You sighed, jerking a bit when he started to scratch harder.

Steve smirked as he quickly realized what he was doing. He’s seen Bucky tickle you sometimes to tease you and he’s seen that he usually targets your ribs and gets a big reaction. He found it cute. “Am I hurting you?” He asked, pausing what he was doing. You shook your head quickly.

“No. Just- no.” You shrugged, hating yourself for not being able to think of a good excuse. Steve nodded, hiding his smirk while continuing to pry at the sticker. It was so hard to keep your arm up!

After a minute you felt his thumb scratch at your lower rib which made you pull your arm down out of reflex. “Woah, you okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah I’m great! Just... umm maybe I can try to take it off myself.” You said, trying to walk away but Steve gently grabbed your arm.

“Hang on, it’s ok. No need to get frustrated or impatient. Let me help you. Peter should be here with the solution soon if this doesn’t work.” He said. You sighed and lifted you arm again, letting him try to peel it off.

A few moments passed of you trying to desperately hold in your laughter and keep your arm up. Steve has smirking behind you, knowing how hard you were trying. Finally, he spoke up.

“You think I don’t know what you’re doing, y/n/n? You’re hiding your laughter.” He teased, smiling widely when you turned to look at him with slightly wide eyes. “Yeah, honey. I know you’re ticklish.” Right then, he pounced, pulling you to his chest and instantly pinching all around your waistline, chuckling as you let out your laughter. “Thaaat’s it. Let those little giggles aaaall out.” He grinned, laughing when you threw your head back on his shoulder.

“STAHAHAHAP!” You cried, trying to escape from the super soldier’s grasp. But he had you caged against him and basically sitting on his lap. You were done for.

“But this is too cute! Look at you giggling your worries away, I bet you’ve forgotten about the sticker already, yeah?” He teased, blowing a raspberry on your neck, making you scream.

“AHH! HAHAHAHA WHO TOHOHOLD YOU I WAHAHAS TICK- HAH! TICK- HAHAHA!! STEHEHEHEVE!” You squealed, kicking out your legs.

“Yes, y/n?” He sang, wiggling his finger in your belly button. You arched your back with a squeal and fell into silent laughter. Steve took it as a sigh to let you breathe and let you go. You went limp in his arms and panted, a smile on your face and letting out residual giggles. Steve held you close to him with a smile and gently rocked you. “Your laugh is adorable, y/n.” He smiled.

You groaned in embarrassment and turned a bit to hide your face on his shoulder. “You’ve heard it beforeee.” You grumbled.

“Yeah, but not like this!” He whined, mimicking your tone and pinching your hip, causing you to flinch with a giggle.

“Hey guys, I found the solution!” Peter squealed, running down the stairs. “I got it! This can probably take it off!”

“Probably?? Peter with what I just endured, it better work. I wanna get out of here and go back to bed.” You sighed tiredly.

“What did you endure?” He asked. You hummed in thought, hesitating to answer. He smirked. “Just kidding. I heard you from upstairs.” He said cheekily.

You narrowed your eyes at him as you felt heat flush through your cheeks, making Steve chuckle.

“Just put on the damn solution.”

——-

[sxnnimoon]

Bambi Ch. 7

:)

taglist: @multistan30 @hobi-love @pshekalus

@purpleyoongles @gabhrrng @v-6893

@kayjah17 @cutiequeen122 @briii-14

@iiamjungkookwife @maddypool31 @spideyxxboi

You were currently at your studio, well old studio. It surprisingly still looked the same. Nothing was touched, although the equipment looked new. You shrugged it off, you were bored and Yuni was with your mom since her fathers had some last minute preparations for their comeback that was happening and you didn’t feel like partying. Walking around the space you looked at all the memories that were left behind. You tried your best to not let the past bother you as much but with the way things were going, the past would be resurfacing more than you liked. Pulling out your laptop you hooked it up and decided to do a live on instagram. As fans started piling in you were just messing around dancing to the music you had playing. Looking at the comments you decided to answer a few.

“Is that LXNA LXB?” you read allowed, smiling soon after. “Yes it is.”

“New music?” was the next question. “I do have a lot for the future.”

You smirked as the comments went wild.

“Request some songs.” you say looking into the camera. “I’ll sing a few.”

You could barely read them as song after song filled the chat. As it slowed a bit you read a couple.

“I can barely read these comments.” you giggle. “I’m just going to give y'all a sneak peek for a song I'm working on.”

You’d regret this as the song held a lot of meaning but you were always open and honest with your fans, you had nothing to hide.

Pulling up the instrumental you got into the zone.

You know you really something,

yeah

How’d we get here so damn fast?

Only you can tell me that

Baby, ‘cause you know i’m coming

back

You stopped for a bit to read a few comments off your phone.

“Be patient my doves,” you smiled before singing again.

I came to peace with my path

Now you got me off track

I’ve never been this scared before

Feelings that I can’t ignore

Don’t know if I should fight or fly

But I don’t mind

Mmmm

Tripping, falling with no safety net

Boy, it must be something that

you said

Is it real this time or is it in my head?

You paused the music.

“That's all you get babes.” you smirked, trying to hide your emotions.

release it now!!

i need more

whyyyyy

she doing this on purpose.

You shook your head laughing, “I promise once I'm done with work here I will release a few things.”

You sang a few songs that they requested and some you wanted to do. You noticed how the comments were going wild again.

“What the hell is going on.” you looked confused. “All i’m seeing is a ton of ‘HALSEY!!’ comments. Is she watching?”

You waved and blew a kiss, “hiii baby, i miss you. Call me after this, will you?”

“Y’all know what song I gotta do then.” you smirked.

Bad vibes, get off of me

Outta here with that fuckery

Treat my goals like property

Collect them like Monopoly

I probably won’t come if there’s

not a fee

And if they try come stoppin’ me

I show them my discography

I like women and men

Work so fuckin’ much, need a

twinny, twin, twin

You were now talking with the fans, answering some more personal questions when a knock was heard on your door. You looked back at the door and then the stream.

“One sec.” you put up a finger.

Opening the door you see Chan & Yuni.

“What happened to my mom having her?” you stare at him confused.

“She got a call from her old friends and asked if i could bring Bean over.” he smiled. “I hope that's ok.”

“No it’s fine, I'm actually live right now, umm did you wanna just join haha.” you smiled back.

“Of course,” he said, setting Bean down.

“We have a few guests before I hop off.” you say bending down to lift Bean, “Say Hi Bean.”

She reaches her hand out grabbing at the air as if to say hi.

“We do have one more,” you smile, kissing Yuni’s head, “you want an intro or what?”

He nods.

You roll your eyes giggling. “Nowww, don’t let his smallness fool you, he’s the biggest baby of all. My best friend and y’alls favorite Chrisopher.”

He comes into view laughing.

“Hi everyone!” he waves.

You three end the live and head out to get some food. You settled for your favorite cafe that served the best ramen and dessert. Ordering your usual and getting a small bowl to give Bean some noodles. It was quiet and it was definitely what you needed. Having slept with yoongs and hobi you really needed someone to talk everything out with.

“So are you going to tell me what the hell you have been doing? Or am I going to have to pry it out of you?” He raised a brow.

You put your head on the table.

“What am I doing Chris?” you say. “I can’t help but be drawn back to them, for god sake I have a child with them.”

You were defeated.

“I’ve been doing so much to distract myself, but sleeping with them really did it for me.” you looked at him.

“I love you and you know where I stand in all this.” he reached for your hand. “But you really gotta talk to them.”

“It would be easy if they weren’t getting their dicks wet as we speak..” you show him your phone.

“This is the game they wanna play Chan and I will not hesitate to play right back.” you say powerfully. “Could you watch Yun a bit more til my mom is back?”

He nods. You thank him, kiss Bean on the forehead and get up to leave.

You drive back to your hotel. Once inside you make a phone call.

“Hello?”

“You free?”

“For you? Always.”

“Perfect, see in like 15?”

“Can’t wait.”

You gathered a few things in a duffel bag before heading out. Looking at yourself over one more time you close the door and leave.

As you pull up to the house, every ounce of anger you had before had left your body. You didn’t need them right? Whatever the case may be, you were ready to get your mind over it. As they opened the door you smirked, taking in their appearance.

“Shall we?” they said.

“Lead the way.” you smiled.

“You look good.” they smirked. “Really good.”

“You look hotter since the last time I saw you.” you licked your lip.

“You staying the night?” he looks down at you.

“Of course.” you bit your lip.

A couple hours and a lot of photos later, you were currently making out on the couch. Hands were everywhere, lips kissing every inch. His hands never leave your ass. You soon are straddling his lap. You are too entranced with one another to notice the constant spamming going on your phones. As he flips you both over, now lying between your legs he peers down at you. His eyes are dark with lust, the bulge pressed against your thigh proving it.

“You sure this is what you want?” he says softly.

“More than you know.” you look up with pleading eyes.

He nods, dipping his head down to capture your lips one more time.

As the night begins your notifications are going crazy. The reason for it being sweeped away as you were far too occupied to pay them any mind. Beating them at their own game was by far the best thing you could have done. You wished to see the look on their faces as they opened up their social media to see you trending on every single platform. They knew you won, but how long would it stay like that? Only time will tell.