#we all had a teenage dirtbag phase

[leonsliga]

so many fetus leon posts on my dash... bri why would you remind us of his cringey fboy days 😔😭

Because if you don’t love him at his

Then you don’t deserve him at his

[callsignvulture]

141 + Graves Music Headcannons‼️🎶

This is based off of a conversation I had with my roommate and boyfriend months ago. Idc if these are accurate- these were just our headcanons! This took me all damn day to write, so I hope it’s…at least decently good!:]

Simon “Ghost” Riley:

Bands: Shinedown, Theory Of A Deadman, Seether, Three Days Grace, Saving Abel, Avenged Sevenfold, Disturbed, Drowning Pool.

Top 5 listened to songs: Rx(Medicate), 45 , Just Like You , The Vengeful One, California Dreaming

In his younger years, he definitely would have joined in mosh pits at concerts. If he tried that now? God he’d be leaving out of that venue with a headache, body pains and more bruises and scars on him than when he arrived there. Because of this, he prefers to sit a fair bit away from the stage, but in the middle so he can see the whole stage.

Soap makes fun of him for it, making comments like it, “Ah cannae decide if ye're tryin' tae be somebody's faither, or if ye're just actin' like Price. Come on, LT, get wi' the times. Ye're no an auld man like Price just yet.”

But don’t let that fool you- Ghost has definitely influenced Soap’s music taste. Soap just won’t admit it.

Bonus!: Ghost would listen to…well, Ghost. Why? “‘S my name, ain’t it?”

John “Soap” MacTavish:

Bands: Twenty One Pilots, One Republic, System Of A Down, Måneskin, Limp Bizkit, Green Day, Blink-182, Weezer, Fall Out Boy, The Offspring, Games We Play.

Top 5 most listened to songs: Coffee’s For Closers, Get A Job, Fairly Local , Beverly Hills , What’s My Age Again?

Had a pop punk phase he never grew out of, and was definitely a teenage dirtbag(🥁).

His whole reality breaks when he overhears a recruit call any of the late 2000s/early 2010s bands he listens to “vintage”.(Price and Ghost just laugh and tell me he’s too young to feel that way.)

Really fun at concerts surprisingly. He always tries to be in the pit at the concerts for his favorite bands, and goes WILD if he gets noticed by an artist he really likes.

Price, Ghost and Gaz don’t really understand why he likes the music that he does.

Bonus!: When Gaz listens to Kanye, he’ll blast Taylor Swift just to fuck with him. He doesn’t like Taylor Swift, he just likes to see Gaz get frustrated. “You know she’s only popular ‘cause of ‘im, right Soap?” “Ah dinnae care. Ah juist like te disturb yer peace, Gaz.”

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick:

Bands: Arctic Monkeys, Rihanna, The Neighborhood, Kanye West, The Weeknd, Shaggy, Dr.Dre, Kendrick Lamar, Hozier, The Cardigans, Beyoncé.

Top 5 most listened to songs: It Wasn’t Me, Reflections, Love The Way You Lie, Knee Socks, Dark Times

God he’s a certified lover boy AGH-

Imagine: Gaz waking up in the early hours of the morning, sunlight on his skin, looking fine as hell…and “It Wasn’t Me” is playing on the radio AAAAAA-💕(like a damn scene straight out of a movie I swear-)

Gaz likes going to concerts and like Soap, will try to be front and center, but he’s not nearly as energetic and wild. He’d more than likely mellow out with some fruity drink.

Before Gaz joined 141, back when he was an officer, he would definitely make whoever was his ride along listen to Rihanna or Beyoncé in the early hours of his shift. Now when he’s on missions with 141 and he’s in control of the radio, he’s more likely to play Kendrick Lamar or Kanye West, much to Ghost and Price’s annoyance. Soap is the only one who doesn’t complain.

Bonus!: Surprisingly, Gaz is open to listening to any kind of music, even if he doesn’t like. Once sat down with Ghost in the common room and let Ghost show him the music he listened to. Obviously, he wasn’t a fan of it, but he appreciated it nonetheless. “Sorry, ‘s just not my style. But thanks anyways, Lieutenant.”

Captain John Price:

Bands/Artists: Guns ‘N Roses, Metallica, Kiss, AC/DC, Twisted Sister, Ozzy Osbourne, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Rolling Stones, Mötley Crüe, Ramones, Post Malone(there’s a reason for this, stick with me-)

Top 5 Most Listened To Songs: Seek & Destroy, Rock You Like A Hurricane, Dr.Feelgood, Sunflower, Street Fighting Man

Headcanon(Thanks to my boyfriend): 141 had a movie night. Soap and Gaz wanted to watch Into The Spiderverse, which Ghost and Price agreed too(reluctantly). Price really liked the song Sunflower, and after the movie, Gaz and Soap sat down with Price and showed him more of Post Malone’s music. He’s not a huge fan of the rest of his music, but he does really like that song.

Price’s music taste hasn’t changed since he was younger, still listening to the same bands he listened to in the 80s. Definitely gets somewhat upset when he sees someone his age wearing a shirt of the band but can’t tell him any songs by the artist.

Doesn’t go to concerts anymore unless the team wants to go. Would prefer to go to a bar and listen to music while getting drinks with his mates.

Bonus!: Price is the type of guy to look at people who don’t listen to his kind of music and ask, “Oi, lads, who sings this?” “Eh...Ah havnae a clue...Guns N Roses?” “Metallica, Cap’in?” “No, ‘s definitely Kiss.”In reality, he already knows who’s singing it, and they’re all wrong.

Commander Phillip Graves:

Bands/Artist: Morgan Wallen, Tim McGraw, Blake Shelton, Bruce Springsteen, Florida Georgia Line, Carrie Underwood, Luke Bryan, Big & Rich, Jason Aldean, Sam Hunt, Luke Combs, Toby Keith, Alabama, Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Top 5 most listened to songs: God’s Country, Save A Horse(Ride A Cowboy), She’s Country, Dirt On My Boots, Should’ve Been A Cowboy.

What can I say? Southern man loves country music.

He’s not allowed to go to concerts anymore due to the fact that he has gotten drunk on several occasions & had to be escorted out:(

He had a crush on Miranda Lambert and Carrie Underwood at some point in his life and I won’t explain how I know that.

Makes the Shadows listen to his playlist when out on missions to the point where most of them could easily identify what country artist is who.

Bonus!: Absolutely hates any non-country artist who tries to make country music. Like when Beyoncé released Texas Hold ‘Em, he was absolutely livid.

[knife-em0ji]

(as many of the) evens (as you'd like) and 21 for the music questions!!

2. A song to sleep to

God ok... this is gonna sound weird but I’m Going Slightly Mad by Queen is instant sleepytime juice for me, if only because the one time I’ve ever been to Europe it was for like, an education tour when I was 15, and I listened to Innuendo every time we were on the bus and used it as a little sort of lullaby whenever I needed to sleep. I would always catch the title track and then fall asleep after, so other than Innuendo itself I’m Going Slightly Mad is the only one I remember with any clarity.

3.  A song that hypes you the fuck up

LMFAO Sono Chi no Sadame by Tommy Tominaga is an incredible hype song, even if I can only like parrot the words like a trained bird. It always lights a fire in my heart. 

6. A song that’s on at least 3 of your playlists

Lmfao I’m gonna have to say Wayfaring Stranger by....lots of people !! I’m interpreting this question a little differently, considering Wayfaring Stranger is a bluegrass standard so lots of people have covered it, so different versions of it appear on lots of my playlists. I’m particularly fond of the Emmylou Harris version, though.

8. A song that you liked when you where 10 that still slaps

Temperature by Sean Paul.....it came out in 2005 right when I had turned 10 and it still absolutely slaps. Also Hawai’ian Roller Coaster Ride by Mark Kealiʻi Hoʻomalu

10. A song you’d want to dance with your partner to ( or future partner )

Not to be gay but.....Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine......

12. A song to listen to whilst you lie in a meadow

Flesh and Blood by Johnny Cash, no question

14. A song to sing to the sun

Oh.... The Legend of Mother Swan by the Hu. I can only listen to this song going 70 mph while driving in the late afternoon and the sun is setting over the foothills near my house. 

16. A song that you like that romanticises being a teenager

LMFAO Seventeen by MARINA, absolutely. Or just like the entirety of the Family Jewels and Electra Heart lmfao. Or Teenage Dirtbag Wheatus

18. A song that you like that the lyrics are just so beautiful they’re practically poetry

Okay, like, don’t @ me but I love the lyrics to Southern Cross by Crosby, Stills, and Nash...but like, aren’t all songs lyric poetry ?? idk I dont particularly pay attention to lyrics bc my form of adhd parses songs as “these sounds sound good to me and evoke an emotion” and less “these lyrics evoke an emotion” lol....all of those uQuizzes that have song lyric questions are incredible unrelatable to me. The only artist who’s ever gotten me with lyrics is Marina, and that’s just because she got me at the height of my extreme depressed isolated nineteen year old phase

20. A song from the soundtrack of a film that you like so much after the film finished you immediately looked for it

LMFAO Brandy by Looking Glass! I know it’s from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 but that song slaps so hard. I love singing it in the car

21. A song for when the sun has gone down and you are feeling absolutely buck-wild with exhilaration!

I Drove All Night, specifically the cover by the Protomen!!! Fuck that song slaps. Or Tusk by Fleetwood Mac.

24. A song to listen to on a long drive when you have the really strong urge to keep driving until you find somewhere to start a new life (preferably a european city whose language you don’t speak)

In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins..... it’s the QUINTESSENTIAL moody driving song :’^)

[rovvboat]

Painted Flaws - Colossus/Piotr Rasputin x villian!Reader

Part 3

A/N: The story finally begins! Enjoy :)

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: n s f w, smut

Summary: You’re a villian with a moral grey area. You meet Piotr at an art exhibit, but both of you are there for completely different reasons. Though the attraction was inevitable, will it be enough? A growing passionate love wrought with secrecy, both of you try to move through this maze. But when the ball drops, what will you choose? 

You arrive at the Starbucks 10 blocks away from your house. You had no idea what the contents of the suitcase might be – it was merely a drop-off. But you always made sure to be in the know about your Boss’ activities. Working at the whims of The Hand absolutely didn’t cut it for you, and you were adamant to never go down that road again.

Not again.

 Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear someone’s name being announced from the collection area.

‘’Venti Espresso for Ruben!’’ The barista calls out.

V-E-Ru.

That was the code. And you silently watch from the door as a man cheerily collects his order from the counter. You act swiftly, walking towards him – and just as he’s about to find a table from himself, you fake almost bumping into him.

‘’Pardon.’’ You apologise, in an accent that tips towards French – as was routine.

‘’Oh! You must be Ivana!’’ He exclaims. You shake his hand, and give him a curt nod, before joining him at the table. The both of you make small talk, and in the back of your mind, you think about the ingenuity of setting a drop-off like this; You talk to them like you’ve known them since childhood, but the questions and answers are all preconceived in the most meticulous fashion, to make sure the package gets delivered to the right person.

Once you’ve settled the formalities – all 30 minutes of it – and he asks about your non-existent dead relative, ‘’Ruben’’ bids you adieu – leaving the suitcase for your taking. You lazily move to grab it, and exit the store – as unnoticed as you first arrived – and make your way to the secondary destination.

You knock on the heavyset wooden door, painted a nice and easy brown. The house looks as similar to the ones surrounding it as it could – hidden in plain sight, they’d call it.

The door opens – with no one to greet you – and you enter with the all-important suitcase.

You walk into the living room, and there he was – his mouth bolstering a cigar between his lips.

‘’It’s nice to see you again, Y/N.’’ He greets with a genuine smile, as he puffs out a few clouds of smoke.

Your face doesn’t change as you stare at him, edging him on to get this over with.

‘’A stare of daggers. I assume you’ve still not forgiven me for the... misunderstanding.’’

You feel a spark of hatred within you, building slowly, rising up to your chest.

‘’They were kids. How could you have expected me to have gone through with it?’’

‘’We weren’t out to harm them. They were of good use. Unsuspecting. Perfect proxies to carry out the… financial aspect of our cause.’’ He explains, as if that made any of it better.

‘’They were caught. And the children that didn’t exactly fit the perfect mold of what the authorities thought a child worth saving should be? What the fuck did you think happened to them?’’ You feel the anger filling within you, seething. You grit your teeth, and toss the suitcase onto the floor in front of him. It skids across the clean, marble floor – coming to a stop when the man casually stops it with the lift of his black leather shoes.

The carefree expression of his face changes, his face now stiff and challenging. He walks over to you, his eyes hard and intimidating as they bore into you.

Your body tenses, when he abruptly grabs you by your hair, violently pulling your head back. He brings his face close to yours, his cigar now disregarded – leaving in its place a thick air of ashy musk that you’ve always hated.

‘’Listen here, you insolent punk. I have a business to run.’’ He snarls. ‘’Those teenage dirtbags needed a quick buck, and we were more than generous for the utterly harmless jobs they did for us.’’

Your eye twitches, and your stare burns right into him as he continues the intimidation game.

‘’I would even go as far as to argue that the quality of life of their families improved. They were old enough to know what they got themselves into,’’ he says, releasing you from his grip as he regains his cool, insouciant composure, and walks back towards the dining table.

‘’I’ve made my stance. Your job is to carry out the next phases.’’ His unforgiving eyes find yours, and he stares you down. ‘’One more quip out of you, and there would be no need for me to keep you, or your family around anymore. You are indebted to me. Try not to forget that the next time you feel like running your mouth.’’ He lights up another cigar, and takes a few puffs.

‘’Oh and, I personally think it was a big mistake to get attached to either of them, your little big man and your flower boy. But who am I to judge, right?’’ He remarks off-handedly, as he paces back towards you. To anyone else, it might have sounded like a mere observation – but it was more than that.

It was a threat, plain and simple.

He laughs maliciously against his cigar, using two fingers to bring your chin up. ‘’Smile for me, darling. Anger isn’t a pretty look for you.’’  You whip your face back away from him. But you’re instantly back to staring him down.

‘’Watch your back, Demetrius. No man stays at the top forever.’’ You say through gritted-teeth.

He watches you, dumbfounded, brows furrowed.

An unnerving smile crosses his face, and a chill runs down your spine.

‘’Now that’s a name I haven’t been called in a while.’’

He walks over to the suitcase, picks it up and places it on the table. He flicks both of the clasps over, and the suitcase release the tension as the top flips open just a little. He opens the top down in one swfit motionto, revealing in it a small, red velvet string pouch. He slowly picks it up in his hands, unravelling the string, revealing a vial with a dark looking serum-like liquid in it. And right as you’re about to ask what is it –

that’s when you feel a shift in the air.

You look at Demetrius, who only smiles at you. You know he feels it too.

A flash of red and black comes breaking through the kitchen window, and you step back, instinctively bringing up your turtleneck to cover half of your face. You fasten the scarf securely over your head, making sure you were, at least, harder to identify.

The man was attired in the unmistakable red and black suit, with two katanas on his back. You know him. Heck, the entire town knows this asshole.

It was none other than Wade Wilson – better known as his ‘’superhero’’ persona: Deadpool.

‘’My, my. What have we here? Another bunch of assholes and – oh! And who might you be?’’ He asks – turning to you as he draws his gun for its hiding place – in a light joking rhythm, which makes you smile under the fabric.

‘’Well, I guess I will leave him to you.’’ Demetrius orders – low, off-handed but commanding still –  before turning around and sauntering towards the back door.  

‘’You’re going nowhere fuckface.’’ Deadpool hops off the table, ready to fire at your boss, and just as he catches his aim, you kick the gun out of his hands – before kneeing him in the guts.

Deadpool turns to you, ‘’Oh you really shouldn’t have done that, bootleg Elektra.’’ You shift your legs, grounded and on the offense, hands in front of your chest and stomach – your heartbeat accelerates with purpose, and the smile you had from before doesn’t leave your face.

You hear the unsheathing of his katana before he attacks. You dodge the quick swipes – his swords almost unseen from the speed, as you danced around his assaults, stepping back –

then left

then right

‘’Wow, looks like someone took the phrase ‘let’s dance’ a little too literally. I can see that smile on your face.’’ He brandishes his weapon in front of you, and lunges at you before you have time to move.

He swings back, as he gives a purposeful swipe across your body but before the katana makes contact, you jump up out of the way – and duck, before lunging forward – your body landing a hard blow onto his torso.

You feel a wetness on your shoulder, and you notice a superficial slash on your shoulder, but the adrenaline refuses to let you feel the sting of the air against the cut. You scowl at the fact that he managed to land one on you. You notice that the front door was unlocked, and you eye it.

‘’Oh you mother– ‘’

‘’HEY ASSHOLE, You’re letting her get away!’’ A gruff voice hurries through the back door, holding a futuristic gun – as the sound of a motorcycle screeching away echoes into the room.

‘’Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that, you silver fox. Got a tracker on her.’’ He brings up a GPS device that shows a red blinking, beeping dot moving farther and farther away on a grid.

  You revv the engine, speeding through the street and onto a junction – slowing down as you see the traffic up ahead. You immediately switch on your electromagnetic device; no asshole is going to unwittingly follow you around.

  Back in Dopinder’s car, Deadpool notices that the blinking dot disappears and he punches the dashboard with a more than suitable ‘’OH THAT FUCKING. PIECE OF –‘’

  You zoom through, and past your neighbourhood – the wind flipping your loose hair wildly behind you, before you leave the motorcycle in the alley – near an abandoned shophouse a few blocks away; deciding to walk back to your apartment – just in case.

 You walk up the steps to your apartment. The daylight was burning out, and you think about what just happened. You were shaken, and that was such a frequent occurrence in this job that you’ve become quite numb to it. But…

He wasn’t supposed to know about D.K.

You breathe in, and release the pent-up stiffnesses with a deep exhale.

One problem at a time.

You enter your apartment, dropping your bag and coat onto the floor with a thud, and promptly enter your washroom – stripping yourself of the heaviness of the day. You were so focused on getting into the shower that you hadn’t heard the noises of confused hands sifting through your kitchen cabinets.

Standing under the shower head, the knob squeaks as you twist it to its hot setting, and you stand under it, letting the gushing water ease away at the tensions and knots in your body -- and once you’re out of the shower, you rifle through the medicine cabinet to apply some antiseptic to the cut on your shoulder. You had an odd tendency to recover really quickly from small wounds, but you still made sure to be extremely careful; which makes this cut an irritating reminder of your failure at that. 

You clad yourself in nothing but a towel, pretty sure that Piotr was still deep in his sleep, and amble into your room. You look at your bed, and immediately notice an absence of the big muscular protuberances you had left under the covers. You worriedly trace back into the kitchen

‘’Piotr?’’

‘’Y/N, I was just – ‘’ His head immediately looks up from its previous position of squatting down and facing the oven – his hands toying at the knobs – and when his gaze lands on your figure, he becomes a mumbling mess. He quickly straightens his body, and as he does, the back of his head slams against the bottom of the cabinets – a groan escaping him as a hand goes the place of injury.

You jump at the scene and quickly move to comfort him – tipping on your toes, in front of him, to reach the top of his head with your gentle hands – fervently rubbing the spot where the impact had fallen on the back of his head.

His stare remains on you, dumbfounded – the fragrance from your cherry blossom shampoo doing a number on him, when he realises just how close your unclothed skin was – 

but his chivalrous nature calls for him to look away, and as he does.

Time feels like a standstill, and he realises he’s been holding his breath.

 She is… truly beautiful.

 ‘’Wow, you hit your head pretty hard didn’t you, big guy?’’ You break the silence, as you slow the rubbing down to a stop.

You get back down on your feet and smile, but when your eyes meet his, you suddenly feel the tension in the air. His gaze intense -- searching deep into you.

And you feel more naked than ever.

 Will she accept, if I kissed her?

 You don’t look away, as your hand trails down to the side of his face – and you realise he’s been looking at your lips -- and before you could move closer, he steps forward – nudging you back, pinning you against the adjacent wall.

You feel the rush in your chest, as you feel his lips – soft, yet strong – melting into yours; your palms were on his chest, feeling him up, and moving up his neck – snaking over – as his hand tilts up your chin; bringing your face closer to his.

His kiss was tender, yet ardent, through shallow breaths. His fingers move to entwine between the locks of your rough, dripping hair; his palm now resting on the back of your head. He gets a whiff of your sweet-smelling hair again, and his hands go to run over the softness of your neck, making you titter as his ticklish touch makes you retract for a moment.

He doesn’t stop though, but he was now moving slowly down your neck – his lips nibbling from one side to the other – his sultry breath trailing close behind, as you shift your head to accommodate his loving touch. His hands have progressed to holding your body closer to him, big and secure against the small of your back.

You feel the towel’s lazy wrap-around losing its security, as the bottom most fabric moves away – exposing your legs your audience of one. It was now only held up by Piotr’s hands, and the thought of him pulling it off and doing you right there was turning you on belief.

You moan against the nippy air of the kitchen as he trails back up to your lips, needier and hungrier than ever. Hot, shallow breathes fill the air, punctuated by the stifled sounds of smacking lips.

You cup his face in your hands, pulling him into another burning kiss, as tips of both your noses sidle against the silent lulling of the kiss – like how the waves lull back and forth against the shore. You lower you hand down to his belt, to find his hard member - taut against the fabric of his pants as you cuff around his girth; and you feel him take a sharp breath.

You break away – your head tilted up against the wall, entirely breathless. He stops to look at you, concerned brows raised. ‘’Are you alright?’’

‘’Yeah, please don’t stop – ’’ you hurriedly unbuckle his belt – as you bring up your leg, hitching it over his waist – tugging his body closer to your core; and just as you do, you feel the towel slipping off your body.

Piotr kisses you once more, and you feel his smile against your lips, letting you pull him closer. His rough hands hold your waist, feeling the way your skin curves in different ways. He moves gradually up to your chest, his thumb over the side of your breast – gently grazing over it – before rubbing circles as sparks of pleasure run down to your core.

You bring your face to his neck, whining into his ear. He lowers his face and catches your neck between his lips – as he fondles your breasts, squeezing your nipples between two skilled fingers.

‘’Oh fuck, Piotr.’’

He huffs, amused by the profanity elicited by his actions. Your heartbeat bounces all over the place – and you start to wonder what he’s feeling.

 She cusses into my ear, and I have to laugh. Normally I would chide whoever would use such hard language – but she punctuates the word with my name, with a lust that I myself cannot keep inside. The feeling of her skin against my fingers – having her, a treasure, be completely dissolved under me – I am nothing but a lucky man.

She has her leg wrapped around me, and all I want to do is…

‘’ Fuck me, Piotr.’’ Your heavy breath fills his thoughts.

 And she takes the words right out of my mouth.

‘’ Whatever my lady wants.’’ Piotr obliges. He pulls up your other leg, holding you close as he carries you off into your room.

He lowers you gently onto the edge of the bed, and you know he’s getting restless – his towering body tenses, and you feel the telltale moisture on his body; you help his out of his shirt, before lacing your arms around his neck – pulling him close – inviting him onto you.

His forehead rests against yours – stealing kisses, as you feel him shifting your legs apart, aligning himself at your entrance.

Your eyes don’t leave his, as he teases you with the tip of his cock – rubbing up and down against your wet folds; and with one swift move, he pushes into you – you wince, taking in a sharp breath, but keep your eyes on him. His intense gaze never leaves you, as he pushes in a little more – slowly allowing his length to delve into you.

He begins with slow thrusts, being careful to ease you into it. But when you inevitably moan ‘’Harder, baby.’’ – his pace picks up, and just when you open your mouth wide to release a moan, Piotr’s mouth captures yours, his tongue finding yours as he toys around the sounds of your smothered moaning.

You feel the pleasure building in your core, arching your back – tense and rigid – as he determinedly, repeatedly drives into you; dissolving into a thread of Russian, compliments heavily breathed into your collar.

‘’That’s it… Don’t hold back… Just cum inside me.’’

Your candid profession drives him over the edge, and with one final thrust – hands clutching at your shoulders; pulling you in deep into his drive – he ejaculates inside you, his cock throbbing against your walls, as his pleasure – rough and low – voices into your ear. The carnal lust swells inside you, as you find your own orgasm amidst his – as you pulse against his hypersensitive member. He hisses at the feeling, before sluggishly falling limp onto you; your body tensing, then relaxing as the orgasm wanes.

The air fills with the remnants of sex – relaxed, naked bodies draped across each other, heavy panting diluting into slow, steady breathing – followed by the lazy trailing of your fingers down his back – as his face smothers your neck.

‘’That was… amazing, Piotr.’’

His body lifts a few inches off yours, as you come face to face with his beautiful blue eyes, dulled not even in the slightest by the darkness of the room, and his deep, calming voice reverberates in the silence. ‘’And you as well, moya–‘’

 DING

The sound of your oven rings from the kitchen, and you both turn to the direction of the sound. You chuckle as he groans in disappointment of the ruined moment – and leaves a lingering kiss on your cheek – before getting up to sort the matter of the ding.

You get dressed into your signature robe, and stroll into the kitchen as a hunched over Piotr carefully places a brownie onto a plate, before putting a scoop of vanilla ice-cream onto the brownie. You beam at the desert then look back at him, his attention focused on making the food look as presentable as possible. He has his back to you, and you sneak up on him – your warm body embracing him from behind as you let your chin rest on his shoulder. He takes a seat, before lifting a fork up to his side – towards your mouth, and you see the delicious looking match of sweet, savoury brownie with vanilla ice-cream. You graciously accept the treat from your position on his shoulder, before moving to sit on the chair next to him.

‘’Mmmmm theze arhre sO GOOD, Piotr!’’ You say, as you chow down. Piotr laughs at your attempt at talking while eating, before giving you another spoonful; which you bite down immediately – before taking the spoon from him and giving him a generous helping for the desert.

‘’So, I guess you’re feeling all better, huh? Judging from the fantastic performance a short while ago…’’ You smirk as he chews, and he beams at you sheepishly.

‘’Yes, all thanks to you.’’

His response has you smiling back at him suggestively, and he brings his hands up in defense.

‘’I meant… not the… I meant, because you took care of me, Da?’’

You laugh, as you finish off the rest of the brownie on the plate – saving the big batch Piotr had made for later. When you both get done clearing up the kitchen, you hear knocking from the front door, making you raise an eyebrow.

‘’I’ll go get it.’’

You weren’t expecting any guests – mailman or not. You slowly walk to the door, looking into the peephole – where you vaguely make out the form of a black man of medium build, his baby blue button-down shirt – patterned with vague pink shapes – giving away his identity.

‘’Hello, I really gotta pee here sis! I can feel the pee trickling–’’ He sounds through the door and you quickly open up before he could finish, but just enough to peek your head through.

‘’GOD D.K. – keep you voice down. What the hell are you doing here? I told you to never follow me home. What part of never did you not understand?’’ You ask under your breath, careful not to let Piotr overhear you.

‘’Can I please just use your bathroom? Questions later?’’ He asks, an innocent urgency in his voice. You eye him, before letting him through. He stops when he notices the bouquet Piotr had gotten you.

‘’Wait. What? This was the same bouquet that–‘’ he looks at you, then back at the bouquet – ‘’Wait. Don’t tell me. Beautiful blue eyes? 6 ft tall? Strong Russian accent?’’

Your eyes widen. ‘’How the hell–‘’

But before you finish, D.K. books it to your bathroom – locking the door behind him with a loud clunk.

Piotr walks into the hall from inside your room, seemingly just getting off the phone.

‘’I think I need to leave soon. Who was at the door?’’

‘’Oh, just a friend who needed to use the bathroom… You gotta leave so soon?’’

‘’Da. I had a wonderful day today, and I owe it to you. I will call you once I’ve reached home.’’ He pulls your waist towards him, placing a tender kiss on the top of your forehead.

‘’Alright. Have a safe trip home, Piotr. And thank you. For everything.’’ You smile at him, responding with a kiss on his cheek – as you follow him to the door.

 D.K. exits the washroom, wiping his wet hands onto napkins, before tossing it to the wastebasket.

‘’I’m surprised, Y/N. I thought you swore off men?’’

‘’Stop. You aren’t supposed to be here. And how did you know about him? Don’t tell me you’re working at the flower shop near here. You know how risky that is, D.K.!’’

‘’Woah, woah. I just needed some cash! And I convinced the old man to pay me in cash, so all’s good!’’

You roll your eyes. ‘’You don’t get it D.K. He knows about you. We need to be more careful. No more coming around here. He’d kill you if he saw you around. Just because we’ve gotten away for all this time, doesn’t mean we won’t get caught.’’

D.K. stays silent, contemplating the gravity of the situation for the umpteenth time, as you go into your room to grab your laptop.

‘’Look. Your new passport is still processing. I have friends in Long Island who will take care of you until all the other paperwork settles. But for now, we got to stay under the radar. You’ll be more useful from over there – and don’t worry about law school, your grades were good enough to get you an exemption at Cal State. In due time, we might even be able to move your family over.’’

He watches you, solemnly working on your laptop. ‘’Thanks, sis. I really appreciate it. But I honestly just wanted to see you. The guys at school are a bunch of asses. I think – ’’

‘’You need to get back home. I’ll book an Uber.’’

His face falls, as he takes a seat on your couch – quietly waiting for the Uber – with the sound of you typing away at your laptop permeates through the house.

 ‘’Oh, chrome-dick finally decides to show, huh? Was the sex so good that you blow off an important mission? Well, guess what! Because of your carelessness, they got away!’’ Deadpool complains as Colossus enters the living room of the X-Mansion.

‘’What are you talking about?’’

‘’Those underground ‘anti-mutant serum’ assholes? Yeah, they got away – zoomed away on their bike into the horizon! –‘’ Deadpool waves his outstretched hands in front of him– ‘’POOF! Vanished into thin–‘’

‘’He’s right.’’ Cable interjects. ‘’We saw two suspects. The man in the suit, and a woman – loosely covered. We couldn’t identify her. But I can trace the disabled tracker to where we think she might be. And maybe she’ll lead us to the top.’’

Colossus considers it for a moment. ‘’Right. Please get on it as soon as possible. Maybe get NTW to help as well. She is well-versed in mechanics.’’

Cable smiles, as he pulls up the GPS device Wade used to link the tracker, and disappears into the back room.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist! @emma-frxst @fluffymadamina

[suncannon]

Thoughts On Dragonball Z and How People Spend Their Time

So, I’m not going to pretend that I’m a Dragonball Expert, but I’ve followed and enjoyed the series for a significant portion of my life. I’ve also, like I’m sure many people who used to be teenage boys did, spent a lot of time thinking about that world and the people in it.

There is an opinion I’ve seen voiced in many ways and in many places that says something along the lines of “It’s just a show/game/movie/whatever, just consume it and have fun, why are you thinking about it so much.” To that, I’ve taken an idea from Lindsay Ellis to heart. It goes something along the lines of “These properties make ungodly amounts of money, and influence the thinking of countless people. To pretend that they aren’t worth thinking about seriously because they’re silly/made for children is shortsighted, and ignores what we can learn from those things”. She was talking about the Michael Bay Transformers movies at the time, but that kind of thinking can be applied to most things.

This is a long-winded way to say that I have Thoughts about Dragonball, and the way both the narrative and the characters within it discuss things like hard work, training, and the decision of how to spend your time.

I’ve always liked the human characters in Dragonball more than the others. Don’t get me wrong, I like Goku as much as the next guy, and I, like many others, went through a phase where I realized that Vegeta is both Incredibly Cool, and also A Pretty Good Dad. But it was always the human characters(Krillin, Yamcha, and to a lesser extent the half-human Gohan I suppose) that I really identified with. I guess it’s because I am a human? But I think even then, I identified with the feeling of other people outpacing me, getting better at things while I’m just trying to catch up.

Krillin and Yamcha are frequent fandom punching bags. Yamcha more than Krillin, and for good reason. Yamcha is kind of a dirtbag, so he deserves most of what he gets. But a lot of what I see when I see people talking about the human characters of Dragonball, is that they aren’t worthy of fandom because they’re weaker than the Saiyans, and that’s why they’re lame. I don’t agree with that line of thinking.

Sure, the human characters in Dragonball are probably always going to be weaker than the Saiyans, because Saiyans Cheat At Kung Fu Magic. They, as a species, are basically designed to always win in dramatic ways, and it’s hard to impossible for a human to catch up with that. They’re also the Designated Protagonists, so they always have to be the strongest. But the reasons I like the human characters aren’t because they’re good fighters, but because they’re more interesting characters, and their existence says interesting things about the setting.

Okay, before we keep going, I feel like it’ll be helpful to state what my sort of thesis is. Dragonball is a setting where hard work and determination can allow a person to transcend their normal limits, and become a being on the level of gods. But in order to attain that level of power, a person has to let everything else in their life fall away, and devote themselves solely to Getting Better At Punchwizarding. Saiyans have a natural disposition towards this singleminded focus, but Goku in particular, because he’s A Moron(and, like, brain damaged, I guess? Yikes), will always be best at this. The fact that other characters in the show, from Vegeta to Gohan down to Krillin and Yamcha, don’t reach that level isn’t an indictment of their skill or dedication, but a sign that they value other things in their lives. This makes me like those characters more, but that contrast wouldn’t exist without Goku doing what he does.

So, lets talk about Yamcha. Yamcha is a dingus. He dumped Bulma because he’s an idiot, and then effed off to use his Punchwizardry to become a famous baseball player. And while he’s an unenviable person(in a lot of ways, he has manufactured his own misery), he is a good example of what I’m talking about.

During Original Dragonball, Yamcha was a respectable martial artist. He wasn’t as good as the Designated Protagonist, but he could hold his own, and was likely one of the strongest humans on the planet by the end of that series.

Then, Dragonball Z happened. Raditz was a sign that things were climbing to a new level of power, and Yamcha managed to hang for a little while. He trained with the other Z Fighters for a while, preparing for the fight with Vegeta and Nappa. He also got immediately smoked my the Saibamen, getting brutally killed.

It’s around this point that I feel like Yamcha begins seeing the writing on the wall. He trains with King Kai alongside the others, and by the end of the Frieza saga he’s respectable, but not exemplary. Once the Android saga starts, and he challenges Android 20, he also immediately gets smoked, this time literally, with a massive hole blown in his chest. 

After this point, he is basically not a factor in any of the major battles of the series. He sits out most, if not all, major battles in the rest of the series, and during the timeskip between Cell and Buu, has completely stopped his training. He coasts by on his residual physical skill to make money. And while there’s something to be said for him abandoning the fight to protect Earth, to some extent, I get it? Like, he saw what was coming. Goku is doing sit-ups in 1000x Earth’s gravity or some nonsense, and lives for nothing but the fight. That was never Yamcha’s goal, so he got out while the getting was good. While he regrets this decision by the time Dragonball Super is going on, I understand the motivation.

So, lets take a quick detour to talk about Krillin. He’s probably my favorite character in the series. He looks like a weird gremlin and literally doesn’t have a nose. He’s great and perfect. A lot of his story is similar to Yamcha’s so we won’t have to talk about him long.

Krillin managed to avoid most of the pitfalls that Yamcha blunders into, but based on the person he is, he was always going to. Yamcha was a bandit who stumbled into World Shaking Nonsense, so his lack of dedication to back-breaking training is expected. Krillin was a monk who devoted himself to training when he was in Original Dragonball, and he stuck with that training for much longer. Accordingly, he stays relevant for much longer. By the time of the fight with the Saiyans, he survives when most of the others don’t, and he manages to hang during the fighting on Namek. Hell, his chops are still decent by the time of the Android saga, and he holds his own when he needs to. 

But he still makes the cardinal sin when it comes to Keeping Up With Goku: he cares about things besides training. He gets married, has a kid, settles down. Lets his hair grow back. Becomes a good dad and has a wife who loves him. He still does some training to keep himself in fighting trim, but by the time of the Buu saga, he’s basically no one of consequence. And that bites him in the ass when he gets taken out basically immediately.

I find this arc incredibly relatable. Who among us hasn’t devoted their lives to protecting Earth, but then fallen in love with an incredibly cool android woman and had a precocious kid, and then decided to skip leg day once or twice? Krillin manages to avoid falling as far as Yamcha did because Android 18 is another Z Fighter, and I’m sure they keep each other in shape. But they’re retired by the time of the Buu saga.

However, in Super, you can see how far a human can go when sufficiently motivated. Krillin makes it all the way to the Tournament of Power, while Yamcha is looking like a scruffy piece of trash, sad that all of his friends are going off and fighting without him. Like, of course they are, Yamcha. You haven’t lifted a weight in longer than Goten has been alive. Damn, even Master Roshi hit the gym when the chips were down, and he busts out some OG Dragonball moves. You see him in Resurrection of F, and the Tournament? Damn.

Y’know, I think I might’ve been wrong before. I said Krillin was my favorite character, but really, I think it has to be Gohan. He’s just the best.

So, a lot of the impetus of writing this piece has been because I’ve been vicariously reliving Dragonball Z through the All Systems Goku podcast. Seeing the series through fresh eyes has been neat, and it’s made me think about a lot of this for the first time in a long time. 

There’s a part at the beginning of the Buu saga where Vegeta drags Gohan for his decline in power level, and while I understand that frustration from Angry Saiyan Dad, like, I get it. Even by the time of Dragonball Super, Gohan has not, and likely will not, develop into the fighter he Could Have Been. But like, that’s fine. Vegeta didn’t, either.

So, to wrap this up and not write another thousand words, lets talk about the Saiyans as a group.

Goku is a Committed Idiot, who will always be the best at fighting because it’s all he cares about. Because of this, he is a negligent father and husband, and also not a very good person or friend.

Vegeta can hang on Goku’s level because he’s a Saiyan and has a very understanding wife that will build him weird gravity chambers, but he also takes an active role in parenting his children, and actually wants to be present at the birth of his daughter instead of going to train with an angel. Like, for real. Goku tries to convince Vegeta to miss the birth of his daughter to go train, because Goku missed the birth of Goten because he was dead, so it’s fine. Whis ends up making it a non-issue by using Angel Magic to just poof the baby out of Bulma, which is kind of horrifying, but Bulma was pretty alright with missing those arduous hours and having the work just done for her.

Vegeta compromises his training by being a person with a life, and watching Goku keep pulling ahead of him was the impetus for the Majin Vegeta stuff. He had his mid life crisis, but realized what he was doing, and I guess eventually got over it. He knows he’s not as strong as Goku, but he takes his son to Disneyland sometimes and he’s mostly cool with it.

Gohan could have been the greatest martial artist the Earth has ever produced. When he beat Cell, he was far and away the most powerful being that had ever set foot on the planet. But between then and the Buu saga, he just started to care about other things. He was a teenager, and went to school, made friends, fell in love. Between then and Super he got married, had a kid. People talk like they’re disappointed that Gohan has “gotten lame”, especially after the glimpse of him we get in Future Trunk’s Bad Future. But they don’t get it. 

Gohan won. That’s his happy ending. He can still hang with his dad and Vegeta; he’s probably the third strongest person on the planet. Piccolo might have him beat some days, but probably not. And he also has a wife and daughter and a life outside of lifting weights and screaming. That’s what Future Trunks would’ve wanted for him. 

At the end of the day, the Earth needs someone like Goku, who is willing to forsake everything else and keep doing push-ups until he can punch out God. It’s a good thing that he relishes the opportunity, because a more self-aware person would probably be pissed that the weight of the world/galaxy/universe/Creation keeps getting put on his shoulders. 

But to say that other characters are less interesting, or somehow “bad” because they don’t have that single-minded devotion to Punchwizardry is foolish, because that dichotomy and contrast between Goku and everyone else in his life is what gives texture and weight to the choices the characters make. Krillin sees Goku punching out deities and probably feels bad that he can’t help. But his family makes him happy, and that’s worthwhile, too. It’s what makes the fighting worth doing.

Okay, so that’s it. Feels good to get these thoughts out of my head. Been percolating them for a while. Not gonna do any more passes on this for editing because I’ve already been writing this for like an hour and I wanna be done. Happy to hear thoughts or comments. Be excellent to each other.

[aglitchinemotion]

Tagging: YOU. Wait, no, sorry. I thought you were someone else. Tagged By: Nobody. I have sticky fingers and zero shame.

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag some people you’d like to know better.

A - Age: 26, or very soon to be, despite how CERTAIN PEOPLE insist I’m actually around twelve.  B - Birthplace: Ontario, Canada or from the weird dredge puddle at the bottom of a glass of chocolate milk. Take your pick. C - Current Time: 4:09 PM. Gotta go to work soon. May have to finish this later. D - Drink you last had: Water. Girl’s gotta stay hydrated, ya know? E - Easiest person to talk to: My best friend, my boyfriend, my sister. F - Favorite Song: There’s no one favourite, but lately I’ve been weirdly into songs I remember from the late 90′s early 2000′s, when I was growing up. I’M JUST A TEENAGE DIRTBAG, BABY. G - Grossest Memory: I work in a career that is sometimes inherently gross, so not too much phases me. That said, post-bean-consumption dumps are the worst to clean up after. God, the smell. H - Horror yes, or horror no?: Yesss! I love horror let’s plays and scary stories and creepypastas. I’m a complete sissy for jumpscares and stuff, though, so I don’t play scary games or watch scary movies myself. Look, I jump when the toaster pops. Even after promising myself I won’t. I - In love: Yes, despite the ENDLESS FUCKING TROLLERY. J - Jealous of people: Sometimes? I’m sure I am occasionally, but I couldn’t tell you when, to be honest.  K - Missing: Honest to god roleplay, like just a back-and-forth four-hour-long session with a friend, y’know? I haven’t done one in ages and it can be so much goddamn fun. I guess I’m nostalgic because I’ve been rereading a lot of old skype roleplays. L - Love at first sight or should I walk by again?: No such thing, if you ask me. Infatuation at first sight, sure. But not love. As a wise robot once said, ‘Love is needy. Love is greedy.’ M - Middle name: Leigh. My full name kinda rhymes. N - Number of siblings: Older sister, younger brother, with me stuck in the middle.  O - One wish: ENERGY. Not anxious energy, but the kind that gets shit like tidying up the apartment done. P - Last number you called: Not sure, probably my parents or my sister. I was texting with my sister, if that counts. We were insulting each other over who was prettier. ‘NO, YOU’RE PRETTIER, YOU STUPID GORGEOUS PIECE OF SHIT.’  Q - Question you were always asked: ’Why do you rock like that?’ One, because it’s a weird comfort thing and I’ve done it since I was little and most people do something similar, just less obvious. Two, I just rock, motherfucker. R - Reasons to smile: Something heartwarming, like when my kitty does that stupid adorable flop onto his back and sticks his arms straight in the air. S - Song You Last Sang: Probably ‘Love Like You’ from Steven Universe. I like that song. WAIT, no, I sang the lyrics to Teenage Dirtbag while writing ‘em down. T - Time You Woke Up: About 10 am - would have slept longer or gone back to bed to nap, but I work today. U - Underwear Color: Lame-ass pastel colours, probably, or some cutesy design. I don’t pay attention. V - Vacation Destination: Part of me very much wants to do ‘real’ travel, like go see my best friend in the Netherlands IF SHE WAS GAME OF COURSE (BUTTPLUG GNOME) or go see my boyfriend in the States. However, part of me also just wants to go somewhere warm and luxurious for a week of all-inclusive hedonism.  W - Worst habit: Picking at my skin, usually. I hate weird little marks and hairs and stuff. I’m also a nail-biter.  X - X-rays?: I once got an X-ray of my head to see my wisdom teeth, but forgot to take off my glasses for it. Hence my X-ray pictures were just a row of glowing teeth and glasses above them. I am the spoopiest. Y - Your favorite food: All that shit that’s real bad for you - poutine, wings, pizza. I love roast chicken, too. Omnom. Z - Zodiac Sign: Aquarius. TITANTIC WAS AN INSIDE JOB. MY MONEY’S ON ROSE. WHY? COS SHE A THOT. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

Originally posted by laweyd

[monstrousgourmandizingcats]

for the catholic tell me meme, i dare you to answer ALL OF THEM!

Tell me about a rosary you have

I have a rosary that I got on Etsy made of rhodonite beads (the Massachusetts state gemstone!) with some soil from Thérèse of Lisieux’s grave embedded in the Hail Holy Queen medal. I’m reasonably confident that the person who made the rosary sold it in a way that complied with the canon against selling relics; it was the same price as non-relic rosaries from the same Etsy. I recognize that it’s still a little dicey and if I were shopping for a rosary now I’d get a less ~problematic~ one, but as it stands, I have it and I love it very much.

Tell me about a rosary you don’t have 

My first rosary was one of several minor bits of religious paraphernalia that I swiped from an Anglo-Catholic church in New Jersey when I was living there as a teenager–not quite the embryonic stage of my faith journey, but quite possibly the embryonic stage of my moral development. It was simple black plastic held together with little metal eyelets and eventually I lost it or it broke, so I don’t have it any more.

Tell me why you picked your confirmation Saint

Already answered!

Tell me your vocation story

I’ve gone back and forth on my vocation a lot, but…I think I’ve finally figured out that I actually am called to marriage and children. I know I’m not even close to ready for that right now, and yet I still can’t wait. I pray for my future wife as oft as I remember to.

Tell me about your profound encounter with Christ

I actually just told you about this via PM, but here’s my conversion story, for my followers:

When I was in my early teens (see above, with the Anglo-Catholic church in New Jersey), I developed a habit of going to Christmas and Easter services at this church because I was going through a teaboo phase after getting really into the James Herriot novels. One Christmas Eve, I had this really strong desire to go up for Communion. The service booklet said something along the lines of “All baptized Christians who believe in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist may receive Holy Communion.” I decided “[guess I’ll die shrug] guess I’ll believe in Real Presence”, I went up for Communion, and I’ve never looked back. Even though I’ve left Anglicanism and am bound to accept Rome’s determinations about the invalidity of its orders and thus of its Communion, that encounter is still deeply meaningful to me.

Tell me about a lesson God has to keep teaching you

I’m not good at patience or at trusting authority, even/especially Church authority. God has to keep hammering both into my head, generally by putting me in frustrating or disorienting situations.

Tell me how Mama Mary has influenced your life

So much! I say the Hail Mary multiple times a day and the Memorare is always the last thing I say before going to sleep at night. The fruits of this have been a greater awareness of my own sins but also more compassion and gentleness towards both myself and others. People who knew me four or five, or even two or three, years ago and knew how harsh and emotionally rigid I was back then will (I hope) be able to tell you that I’m a lot more easygoing now.

Tell me about your family’s reaction to your conversion

Both of my parents are lapsed Catholics, lapsed since well before I was born, and both of them still seem sort of confused, but generally accepting. They’ve both tried going to Mass with me since I converted, but didn’t really seem to get the appeal (and, in my mom’s case, seemed to actively refuse to get the appeal). pray for them?

My extended family has more or less just gone with the flow with every life decision I’ve made for about a decade now, probably because I’ve yet to self-destruct quite as spectacularly as some of my cousins have.

Tell me about your friends’ reaction to your conversion

My friends’ reactions have been all over the place, from fear that this would make me turn away from them out of newfound homophobia to generalized acceptance and happiness for me to taking my conversion as an opportunity to reacquaint themselves with the Church too and everything in between.

Tell me about a priest who has had an impact on your spiritual life

Already answered!

Tell me about a sister who has had an impact on your spiritual life

Sister R____ was somebody who used to hang around my undergrad college’s Newman Center around 2010-2011, when I was just starting there. She was the first person to get me to start thinking seriously about Catholicism as a religious possibility, although there’s a lot we’d probably disagree on now. She moved abruptly at some point in 2011 and I lost touch with her.

Tell me about a private devotion you practice

I try to say the Rosary as often as I can, and (on your advice!) I’m going to start saying the St. Michael Chaplet. Pretty #basic, I know. I’d also like to start keeping a Mary garden if/when I can.

Tell me when you gave your life to God

tbh that’s still a work in progress. I like to think I’m getting better at giving myself to Him, but I’m still not sure I’m quite there yet.

Tell me about when you lost a relationship because of your faith

There’s an online friend I’d had since about 2009 to whom I’ve recently become almost completely unable talk to due to moral beliefs (especially about her very active sex life; nothing against her for this, it was just that after a certain point we started to have unaccountable difficulty talking about other subjects) that slowly but steadily diverged. That wouldn’t be so bad had it not been for our other interests also diverging; we just don’t have much in common any more, and my faith shifting my moral attitudes is part of that.

There’s also a good friend from high school–we “dated” for a few months in the spring semester of our sophomore year, back in the early-teenage dirtbag golden days that I can’t seem to stop bringing up in this post–with whom I lost contact when my family moved out of New Jersey in 2013 and with whom I’m sort of wary of trying to get in touch again for similar reasons (afaik minus the sex). I’m sure we still have interests in common, but she was already a little put off by how much I talked about religion before I was Catholic.

Tell me about a time Jesus answered your prayers

I prayed for my mother’s life last year when she was deathly ill. She’s recovered a lot since then, although it’s not clear if she’ll ever be quite the same again.

Tell me about a time the Holy Spirit moved through you

I’m not sure how to recognize this happening when it does, sorry.

Tell me about a time you saw God in your suffering

I see God in my suffering at this very moment tbh #millennialcatholicculture

Tell me about a time God said no to your prayer

I had a relationship that I was really committed to and prayed for all the time but that turned really unhealthy. Eventually God had to say (through the woman I was dating) no, this isn’t good for either of you and I’m not going to prop it up. And, sure enough, we’ve since turned out to work much better as friends.

Catholic Tell Me

[rinadewolffe]

My Impression on Life is Strange: Before the Storm

I played the first episode of Life is Strange: Before the Storm last night and it left me speechless. I actually had to think about what I could say. Massive spoilers ahead, please don’t read on if you haven’t played the game yet! Also, it’s gonna be an extremely long post, so buckle up!

So, I had my doubts about the game but I really wanted to know Chloe’s story. I also knew a different team was working on Before the Storm and I was very curious what they could make of all the things we learned from the first season of Life is Strange.

It’s extremely rare when I feel a connected to someone, especially to a fictional character, but Chloe Price couldn’t be a more real character to me. I knew she was put through pain, she was disappointed, she was abandoned, left alone, in grief, she lost people she loved. And I was the same as a teenager, however my dad is alive, I can say I was growing up fatherless, because he had to work far away from home, almost always, even now, when I’m way more than 14 or even 16 years old. I was like Chloe when I was sixteen, friendless, left alone with my thoughts, full of disappointment and anger. I loved getting to parties and I loved drinking, trying to drink away the pain, but I never did drugs. Almost never, to be honest. Chloe developed several mental diseases, like abandonment issues, she had PTSD, she had major depression, she was neglected, she was a cast-out, so to say. And so was I. People with mental health problems are still stigmatized and it’s a shame on society!

Chloe has always been different from other people, before she met Rachel she only had one friend, Max, who left her alone. I can totally understand Chloe’s passive-agressive behavior towards Max. When Rachel stepped into Chloe’s life it felt unreal for her. The energy that surrounded them was incredible. Deep down they were the same: full of pain.

We learned that Chloe became a delinquent not because she was stupid, simply she didn’t care about school. Same here. People say that high school is the time of your life: massive bullshit. Nobody knew Chloe’s name before Rachel posted that photo!

The way Chloe couldn’t really understand and handle her feelings towards Rachel just put the whole situation more life-like to me. We learned that she most probably dated a guy, Eliot, but after a while he just left her cold. The whole thing that she didn’t understand that she might be gay was just priceless. The way she felt nervous around Rachel just made it so sweet I almost developed diabetes.

Rachel... Rachel Amber, the enigma of the first season. A popular girl, beloved by everyone decides to befriend (or even more) the outsider. The popular girl is not so perfect. The popular girl is not invincible. The popular girl is in pain. Their friendship (or more) seems to be unlikely, but these girls actually have so much in common. They need each other.

But let’s just take a look at how other characters treated Chloe. Not all of them of course, I’m already writing a novel here...

Joyce was disappointed and worried and Chloe understood that. She was as helpless as her mother. She was hurt when her mother brought another man to the family house, a man Joyce called a “friend”, but... Chloe, you. didn’t. see. the. condoms... The way Chloe needed to choose between being kind or honest just made the whole situation more heart-breaking. And she was also worried for her mother, despite all the anger, because she knew her mother wanted to change so David might love her.

David... Right... The reason why I decided to act disrespectful towards David was he acted disrespectful towards Chloe. He thought he already earned his place in the Price house. He claimed that Chloe will respect him. No way. People just can’t claim that they will be respected. Respect needs to be earned. David tried, but he did more harm than good. He thought that she might respect him only because he served in the army. He ignored the fact that it’s far from enough to earn her place in a family house. The way he acted towards that teenage girl simply disgusted me.

Victoria. Ugh... She got interested in Chloe only after Rachel posted the photo. What can I say, she didn’t even know her name, of course I decided to sabotage her homework. Well, because of that and because that’s what I’d done when I was 16.

Oh, and Rachel, of course... The perfect girl, beloved by everyone. I mean, who wouldn’t love her? She’s beautiful, smart and has ambitions, but she also loves partying. But nobody knows that this girl is broken. She only revealed this part of her to Chloe. And she didn’t understand what was going on between them either. She claimed that it was new and strange, but special (or something like that). She wanted to get to know Chloe. They gave each other a chance, and well, it worked out much more than okay. These two girls have much more in common than we’d imagined.

Friendship or more??? Well, who knows. Chloe’s clearly crushing on Rachel, she even claimed that in the first season. (Well, okay, but who wouldn’t crush on Rachel?!) Even if it was just a friendship, it was more than friendship. I mean, more, but not in a romantic way. It’s something guys, I know, because that’s what I’m having with my best friend. And the way William reacts if you choose the “Something more” option with Rachel?! That’s so sweet I can’t even... Anyway, they both knew there’s something special between them. (*fangirling hard*)

The reason why I got worried about this project though was I read lots of comments about people hated Chloe. How can you hate a broken girl without knowing her story?! Wake up, people. People can have issues. Life can break you. People with mental health problems are still stigmatized. I know, I’m living it. It needs to stop! I have no idea how many times I read something like “Chloe’s toxic”, “Chloe uses Max”, “Chloe’s selfish”, “Chloe befriended Max only because she has superpowers” and other statements like these. Let’s be real: Chloe’s dad died. That sucks, and it puts it mildly... Not much later the only person she could call a friend left her. Heartbreak? Hell yeah. (Oh yeah, the way Chloe revealed how she crushed on Max before just put me into fangirl mode...) Abandonment issues? Yeah! Being afraid of left alone? Yeah! Not giving a shit about anything anymore? Yeah! Trying to drink the pain away? Yeah! Even getting high to escape that reality? Yeah!

Seems selfish? Maybe. These are all temporary solutions, but there was noone there for Chloe. Think about it now. When Max returned, Chloe took her back in a heartbeat! She could’ve left her in the parking lot, but no, she took her back! And she didn’t even know she had superpowers! Wake up, people. Chloe was damaged, partly because of Max, she had the right to give her some guilt-trip. She really had the right to make Max feel guilty for leaving. But still, she forgave her, she loved her, she turned her life more exciting, just when they were kids! Remember this, guys: Max ignored her texts. 

And the people who said that Rachel is trash? What did we learn from the first seaon about Rachel? Very little. That she was beloved, that she took drugs, that she partied like the devil, that she didn’t tell Chloe she was banging Frank? Does this make her a bad person? She had issues. She was broken. The person she looked up to, her father, turned out to be a dirtbag. Of course she was looking for ways to get far away from Arcadia Bay, I guess she took every opportunity she could. And maybe, just maybe she was not really okay with the thing that kept happening between her and Chloe. Most people have a denying phase, you know.

Oh, and the thing that Pricefield is getting thrown away just because something new and better, Amberprice, came along? People... Amberprice is not new. We knew that Chloe was crushing on Rachel. I place Pricefield before anything else. But Chloe had a life when Max was not there. Chloe needed love, too. Chloe needed to feel like she mattered. Rachel gave that to her. But Rachel had her own issues she couldn’t talked about to Chloe. What a surprise, they are humans! So do these things make them bad people?

Anyway, I loved the game and I guess I’m gonna replay it at least as many times as I played the first season (that means at least 12 times, lol). So thank you Deck Nine, the game turned out to be pretty awesome. Expectations met (and they were very high), I hope the rest of the game will be at least as great as the first episode. And I also hope the fandom will not ruin this wonderful project. I’ve seen it happening before. I don’t wanna be part of a fandom which destroys its own “god”.

Peace, OUT!!