#wdym you kidnapped your own kids

[king-nyx]

I just found out that apparently there's an interpretation where Zeus straight up kidnaps Artemis and Apollo from Delos to fight Python. It's not a popular one, but it exists and all I can think of is this:

Apollo: I do care about Zeus although he kidnapped me and Artemis.

Dionysus *chokes on wine*: EXCUSE ME??

Apollo: Not the worst thing he's done.

[askstevella]

Things my husband says 🐾

—Husband!Steve Rogers x Wife!OC

~ god help Stella 😅

Stella: Please tell me you didn’t drag Sam and Bucky into this.

Steve: I didn’t drag Sam and Bucky into this.

*the doorbell rings*

Stella: *cross her arms* Who’s at the door?

Steve: *smirks* I think you know.

———

Steve: What’s does IDK, WDYM and ILY mean?

Stella: I don’t know, what do you mean, I love you.

Steve: I love you too but you’re not gonna be any help, I’ll just ask Sam.

Stella: I-

———

Kendall: *tapping on the table*

Steve: *tapping back*

Stella: Stop that please.

——-

Steve: What would you do if I died today?

Stella: I’d die tomorrow.

Steve: Marry me.

Stella: Already did.

———

Stella: I hate you with every inch of my body right now.

Steve: That’s not a lot of inches.

Stella: I-

———

Sam: *at Stark party* Uhh I think we lost him.

Bucky: No we haven’t. Watch this.

Sam: Huh?

Bucky: *shouts* Your wife is useless piece of sh-!

Steve: *pops out of nowhere* SAY THAT AGAIN MOTHER—

———

Stella: So Steve got drunk last night.

Thor: Oh no.

Stella: And tried to set our marriage certificate on fire.

Steve: Good luck trying to return me without the receipt!

———

Steve: Did it hurt?

Stella: *rolls eyes* Let me guess, when I fell from heaven

Steve: No.

Stella: What?

Steve: *smiling* Did it hurt when you fell for me?

—————

Liane: Hey what are you getting Steve for his birthday?

Stella: I am married to Steve and gave him 2 kids, that’s enough presents to last him for a lifetime.

Steve: Hey, you married Captain America, you didn’t do so bad yourself.

————-

Stella and Bucky: *kidnapped by Hydra and HIVE*

Strucker: Soon the Captain and his team will arrive, then will see what true power tastes like

Bucky: Let us go asshole.

Strucker: Not a chance—

HIVE Agent: *hears guns blazing through the halls, grunts and screams of stuff being blown up* Uh sir, who was that?

Bucky: Your fucked.

Stella: *grins*

Steve: *bust the door open as he snarls* Say your last prayers, Strucker!

————

Stella: *looks at him while he’s drawing and mutters* I’d date you.

Steve: *smirks, definitely heard her* What?

Stella: *blinks and half scoffs* I said, I hate you.

Steve: *smiles to himself* I hate you more.

————

Bucky: *drunk on Asgardian liquor* Sam is the hottest person I ever met.

Steve: He is your fiancé.

Bucky: Bullshit. I can’t stand the guy.

Steve: So why did you just say find him hot then?

Bucky: Cause I got eyes, Steve.

————

Steve: *under his breath* I don’t wike it.

Natasha: *gasps*

Steve: Nat don’t—

—————

Stella: *at 3am reading* Wow, some few hours earlier some couple just tried to kill each other in their own home. Can you imagine someone ever snapping like that?

Steve: *trying to fall asleep glaring at her* I can.

—————

Steve: If I dislocated John Walker’s arm, would they arrest me despite being the original Captain America?

Stella: Yes. Yes they could.

———

Steve: I’m dying!

Stella: WHAT?

Steve: -of hunger!

Stella: Oh thank heavens.

~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~

We might need a Steve one soon 🤔 what do we think? Which couple is next? Liane & Ethan? Rose & Finn? Peter & Rei?

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Tags: @missstrawbs2001 @purpleprincessonfyre @meiramel @gcthvile @rickb-chaos @gaminggirlsstuff @wizzzardofoz @cherrysft @thechoooooosenone @luna-d-marsh @rooster-84 @sherloquestea and etc

[childotkw]

Here's an interesting prompt, so imagine one time the marauders were sneaking around they heard/saw regulus being comforted by Pandora (about how he doesn't want to take the mark but he doesn't have a choice) during their prefect rounds.

So Sirius gets this stupid idea about gently kidnapping regulus bc he doesn't know how to stand up for himself...

So before regulus can find his mom to be aparated, Sirius grabs him and apparates/ yeets him away....

I have to admit, even though Hogwarts!marauder-era stories don't interest me a whole lot, this concept is fucking hilarious and also has a great capacity for brother-angst with Regulus and Sirius!

Sirius doesn't do things by halves, so kidnapping his brother to save him from being a Death Eater is absolutely a logical decision in his brain. And god knows James, Remus and Peter would enable the hell out of him.

Poor Regulus wouldn't know what hit him, and the first time he wakes up after they knock him out and bundle him somewhere to keep him away from Walburga and Voldemort, he definitely shrieks at them at a volume that makes Remus' ears bleed.

Sirius is all like "this is for your own good", and Regulus immediately hits back with the whole "you lost the right to have an opinion on what I do when you left me in that house, you prick".

James trying to mediate, only to get the tongue lashing of his life because Regulus is still salty af at Potter 'stealing' his brother. Peter tries Exactly Once but Regulus sends him scuttling with a single Look.

Only Remus is semi-spared from Regulus Black's particular brand of viciousness, and even that good-will is limited because he still helped kidnap Regulus and is holding him against his will.

It doesn't matter that Regulus, in this AU, has doubts about being a Death Eater. All that matters to him is Sirius trying to 'control' his decisions and interfere with his life. Regulus would go back to Walburga and take the mark just to spite his stupid brother at this point - which is the ultimate younger sibling energy.

Sirius: you know, i should have known - this is the kid that exists just to be contrary to me James: wdym buddy? Sirius: i once told reggie to not drink a potion because it would make him sick and he looked me right in the eyes as he downed it just because James:... Sirius: telling him not to be a Death Eater is like daring him to do it Remus: so if we let him go and demanded he become one...he wouldn't? Sirius: yeah probably Peter, cradling his hand because Regulus bit him when he tried to give him food: i vote for that option

[eviltiddyproductions]

Flower of Evil: Episode 2

we’re starting with a very bad blonde wig 😭💀

for a second I thought he was going to do something cute and then realised he was practising a happy face (in a bathroom his wife can just walk into…) she does not deserve this!!! love her or leave her weirdo

I was about to say we haven’t seen any cooking yet and sure enough. we’re cooking now !!! 🦀

the baby throwing shots at her mom’s skills lmao </3 😭

the grandma lying dead with a cut fruit plate oh the killer was ruthless….. leave old people alone 😭😭😭

Um I felt bad for the journalist but what is this flashback

Put that stone down!!! my god teenagers are evil sometimes

okay put that hammer down babes even though the journalist is trying to use the disgusting ‘we were just kids doing kid things’ excuse

my double identity man you might not be a murderer (emphasis on MIGHT) but you sure do teeter the line <3

i cannot believe i was the person who watched any and every detective procedural while eating lunch not flinching and now a kdrama (which is so sanitised!) bruised thumb is making me flinch.

why do I think his motive for killing the chief of the village was to protect the girl. HEAR ME OUT! they’re keeping the details really hazy, they’re making him look like a serial killer or someone predisposed to this because he’s weird (?) and his dad BUT this is a kdrama so they’ll probably give him a benevolent reason.

Or, I’m totally wrong and he’s a serial killer.

His Samsung phone. 💀 First of all these phones look SO good but it reminded me of that weird Apple rule where they don’t let bad guys have iPhones. I guess Samsung is pretty chill it.

Idk about anyone else in this show but I’d die for Eun Ha. My little baby 😭😭😭

people in Korea must really love egg tarts because how are they in every show I watch?

y’all he kidnapped a young girl’s doll and threw her in the trash (killed her) 💀

i heard lipstick and i think it’s the social worker

also the senior detective choi is kinda cute (this title will be taken! if found to be deceptive)

just as I said this he’s fighting with our girl and being DUMB. like you’re a police officer, if someone gives you new evidence, follow it ?! 😭 fighting with her because he got the bare minimum like look at the thumbprint ON the will

don’t spill important details to people till they identify themselves babe!!! but also the double identity man’s identity has been stolen ??? what

lmaooo one thing a murderer who thinks they’re too smart or too safe is divulge details that will point a big sparkly giant arrow on their head (the social worker)

WHY would you agree to let your prime suspect wear makeup babe I feel like she’s going to try and run 😭

She killed the old lady because it took too many stairs to her place !!!? (#real) but also she’s the one climbing them in heels like ??? i knew they focused on the shoes a bit too much.

she killed her because of the stairs oh god 💀 the motives up until now have been so bad 😭 first (attempted) it was because they wanted the assets in divorce now daily exercise….

the detective is me because wdym you killed her because of stairs

lmao she’s having a I’m a sociopath monologue and they cut straight to the detective’s husband.

GIRL someone tried to murder our double identity man. What is going on? first getting stones thrown at you, now getting stabbed 😭😭 it is BAD for him

girl she (the old lady killer) got her sociopathy smacked out of her in 2 slaps 😭

I guess the detective and double identity man are a match.

he might not be normal but he gets patient’s rights! don’t disclose a patient’s prescription pharma mom

Raincoats are unnecessarily terrifying

for a second I was like why is your restaurant empty and then remembered maybe this guy owns it

idk why the detective gives me kim jisoo vibes

and that’s a wrap

[kenziecrystai]

Am I allowed to go ham with this? I wanna go ham with this

The pillars are the Jedi council, Ubuyashiki is a highly-respected planet/military leader that the council regularly goes to for strategy/advice

Tanjiro and Nezuko had a regular childhood, but lost their family and got separated during a battle between the Jedi and the Sith on their planet

Nezuko got kidnapped by a sith, who decided they wanted her as an apprentice

Jedi Master Urokodaki took in Tanjiro, who literally begged him to teach him how to be a Jedi so he could go rescue his sister

Obviously Urokodaki was like “that’s. Probably not gonna happen. But I guess a little training before sending him off wouldn’t hurt...?”

Turns out that Tanjiro is like. Actually really Force-sensitive. So Urokodaki pulls some strings and manages to get the council to let Tanjiro become his padawan

So 2 years pass. Tanjiro goes from incompetent with a stick to fairly skilled and gets his own lightsaber!! Hooray!!

Jedi get word of Sith operations on some random planet. Urokodaki and Tanjiro get sent in.

Tanjiro meets Zenitsu, who is a padawan that technically hasn’t completed his training but his master killed himself after learning that his last padawan went and joined the dark side so they gave him the Jedi equivalent of a participation medal and threw him in the field

Obviously Zen is still a cowardly moron here. He and Tan end up alone at one point and Tan definitely gives him an earful about what being a Jedi means

Which is super ironic considering that Tanjiro isn’t a regular padawan either but someone needed to say it ok

While out scouting, Tan and Zen come across a battle between a few Sith and.... some kid wearing a scuffed up clone helmet but no shirt and wielding 2 lightsabers???

Oh yeah it’s Inosuke time baby. And he’s kicking ass

Not because he actually got trained or anything. He stole the lightsabers from the bodies of a couple dead Jedi he found a few years back and is super force sensitive so teaching himself how to use them wasn’t too hard.

And the clone helmet he also scavenged but it was when he was really little and he's barely taken it off since so when the rare person he comes across is like "yo wtf are you wearing" he's like "wdym, this is just what I look like?? Do you wanna fight???"

Tanjiro and Zentisu help Inosuke take down the sith, and while he's a little pissed that they got to his prey before him he respects their strength and tags along

So Tanjiro brings back his new friends to Urokodaki, who very respectfully goes "Tanjiro what the hell are you doing. But ok good for you I guess."

On another round of scouting, Tanjiro is alone when he gets ambushed by a lone Sith

They have their lightsabers at each other's throats before they realize they're brother and sister

Yup its Nezuko!! And she's a Sith now. Great.

Tanjiro screams at her and she has a bit of a crisis

Then Tomioka shows up out of nowhere and damn near kills her in one fell swoop

It takes..... a lot of shouting and a bit of dueling to convince this member of the jedi council to not take down the enemy standing right in front of him with her hand on her saber

Eventually tho he's like "fine. Just make sure you keep her out of trouble because you're a dead man walking too buddy"

Tanjiro brings Nezuko back to Urokodaki, who tries to help her but using the dark side has messed with her mind a lot (and so has her PTSD of watching her family get killed) so she's stuck in a bit of a limbo between light and dark

Urokodaki tells Tanjiro "this has never happened before and I'm pretty sure I've taught you everything I can. Take this ship and go fulfill your goals, but if you fall to the dark side I stg I will hunt you down myself"

So Tan, Zen, Ino and Nez are now travelling around, looking for a way to heal Nez and kick some Sith ass while they're at it.

Eventually they end up in a giant battle against a ton of really powerful Sith. Who may or may not have had a spider theme. Idk bro I wasn't there but apparently Nez did some freaky force shit to save her brother so it was cool.

A couple of council members also show up to this battle. Cue Nez almost getting killed by the people she's helping. Rude.

Everyone gets taken back to jedi headquarters to get medical treatment and sort out what to do with this wack ass kid and his gray-aligned sister.

Ubuyashiki, being the saint he is, kindly advises everyone that Nez could be an asset they could use. And also council member Tomioka and master Urokodaki swore their lives on her not being an enemy so that counts for a lot.

Uuuuuhhhh oh shit this is long and I'm tired lol

Mitsuri has a lightwhip and its pink and awesome and I love her please appreciate my girl

Himejima has a lightaxe on a chain and he throws it around with the force, which is dope as hell

Uzui has dual sabers but they're like. Really thick for some reason. Like him

Shinobu has a super thin lightsaber but is super strong with the force and sciences so it balances out

Everyone else just has a normal lightsaber lol

Genya is a Mandalorian foundling. He can't use the force for shit but it doesn't take magic to shoot someone in the face.

Muzan is like. Darth Michael Jackson Blood or smth like that.

..... yeah I went ham with it lol

Demon Slayer, but it’s a Star Wars au.

I saw some pictures for a Demon Slayer bnha crossover and I thought, “Huh? These outfits could also work for Star Wars.” Now we’re here and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Okay, but imagine what happens when Inosuke gets a light saber!