#way that'll make me worse :)
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Everyone tell me how cool I am and how good of a job I did please and thank you I want to wake up to nice messages. I'm so so brave I feel like I just had an insane day and I need external validation
#i finally did one of my late essays#20% docked on it but the pass mark is 40/100 so we are Good#even if i get a 50 i'm fine and surely this is at least a 50#like it cannot be worse than the last thing i handed in and that was 50-55#anyway yeah i did it!! yippee!!!#so i'm going to go enjoy my well-deserved 10 hours of sleep#see you a 6pm! (yeah it's 8am. sleep schedule who. i'm a vampire we said)#the monster gave me a headache also i think :( i don't like that#BUT. essay done. tomorrow. special considerations for the last subject#and then next week i have a few days to do captions but that'll be easy#the annoying bit will be explaining why i did things the way i did with the correct vocabulary#but. we thrive. we move. we ball. i can do it (kinda)#we're limping along but it's fine i'm almost done#the finish line is close. we're getting there#and next week i get to make my lil guy kiss the vampire for my enjoyment. all will be well#wow i have a ramble tag now#england adventures
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I've got to watch Leverage again. I can not let this stupid stupid man replace Eliot 🙈
#yeah yeah same guy technically but no#one of them is Eliot and the other one is a giant dumbass (but aww that's so cute and he's old and stupid and he needs a hug and)#but it would be very funny if he was replaced by another character played by the same guy#that doesn't usually happen. usually it just ends up being the actor and all the characters at once#but since I'm not letting myself like him... hm yeah it's weird#feels wrong somehow. which is hilarious actually. it literally doesn't matter they're all not real lol#I was about to start watching the librarians too but. can I risk that? what if I like that one too 🙈 it's already so stressful#but I'll watch it anyway. more of his face. that's all I need. if I just look at it long enough I'm sure that'll fix me :) there's no#way that'll make me worse :)#I love overthinking stupid irrelevant things 💖#personal
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FINALLY.... Moe reference sheet 🤯🫡
As a disclaimer, this is just as much of a reference for myself as it is for anyone who may need it! I don't expect anyone to need all of this info LMFAO 😅 Plus, it's just fun for me to talk in-depth about the thoughts/motifs behind Moe's design, and all the little details!
I apologize if the format itself is a bit janky. Unfortunately I've been cursed to draw one million small doodles forever. This was my solution to that 🧍👍 (I tried my best to break it up and organize it though!!)
Full pic! Also, full text transcripts under cut -- for better formatting!
MOE.
Pronouns: It/its
Gender: Like if a creature was some guy who's doing it wrong.
Sexuality: Kind of.
Preference...? Yeah!
___
Color Palette:
Hair: Deep red (natural), bottle blonde (amber hued, slightly burnt.)
Eyes: Bright yellow (lighter than its hair/gold accents)
Skin: Warm toned [peach/light orange], blemished [red/pink], tired [violet under eyes], face often shadowed [I use a dark, desaturated blue for this!]
Body Hair: Dark brown to black
Clothes: [shows pallet]
Fave Color: [green]
___
Details!
• Mix of silver/gold jewelry
• Angel fangs (lip piercings)
• Acne/Bandaids (can be randomly placed)
• One single freckle on the tip of its nose
Has a mix of round (especially in the face) and sharp features!
___
Typical Out and About look:
> Hood may be up or down
Silhouette it invokes: Porcelain angel figurine/doll
[pointing at its shorts poking out from beneath the robe] Resembles bloomers
Under the Robe:
Silhouette it invokes: Baphomet (Balance), satyr. [Above the Baphomet doodle, meant to also reflect Moe's body] Top Surgery.
[Pointing at its shorts] Resembles hind legs
[Pointing at its shoes] Hooves (you bitch)
[⭐ leads to] A Closer Look: Its clothes mimic beastliness... but this handmade tie-on tail is the only bit of fur in its entire ensemble! (It's like a phone charm, the way it ties on.)
Dressed Down...
Beastly: Casual look
Angelic: More like PJs
> 5'3" without the heels
> Hairy legs under tights
⭐ Can mix and match! [This star leads to an example of this]
___
Please look away this is private :(
(Jockstrap garment keeps packer in place!)
___
*releases a singular angelic note* 🎶 [This doodle offers a closer/cleaner look at the back of Moe's robe, featuring a wing pattern with the Askr symbol in the middle]
#summoner oc#moe tag#moe ref sheet#WWWUAGHGHGHHHH.......#i made it...... i survived....... 👍#no one is doing it like me (probably bc my process is. worse.)#i may eventually make a carrd for moe but that'll require me learning how to use carrd.#and organizing more info. way more time/effort than i have rn!!!! so this'll have to do!!!!#my art
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Man. All I do these days is fail to meet expectations and then get upset at myself for failing to meet those expectations. This sucks.
#the dragon sings his songs#blowing out smoke#i'm supposed to be taking this break from my course as an opportunity to do the things I've been meaning to do and I've just been rotting—#—in bed on my phone and sleeping in and jacking off like i hardly even get up to eat or go to the bathroom#side note i know this is a textbook sign of depression and burnout (comma) most likely both (comma) but who in my Chinese family is going—#—to believe that? def not mom who'll just scream at me for not sucking it up and pushing through it and not dad who won't do shit#my grandparents might believe me but there's a language barrier on mom's side plus 公公 seems to think I'm the perfect infallible capable—#—[granddaughter] and I can't bear to break his heart with the truth#and then on dad's side they'll probably be sympathetic but everything i tell them makes its way back to my parents and that'll just result—#—in ont huge blowup that'll drive another wedge between mom and dad. and I mean PLEASE hurry up and get divorced but I also don't want 爺爺—#—and 嫲嫲 to get caught in the crossfire#plus I'm supposed to be helping them esp now that 爺爺 is running out of time as an active able-bodied person but instead of doing that I—#—spent all day in bed. which is not helping my guilt and shame on top of everything else i have to deal with (comma) let alone his workload#today's such a nice sunny beautiful day too which makes me feel even worse for not even going for a walk or anything#it's still light out so i could but sunk cost fallacy is kicking my ass plus i have Mandarin class kn a couple hours#and k know it's a couple HOURS but I'd have to get dressed and set a timer and everything and just the thought is so overwhelming that I—#—just can't. i'd ask to be institutionalized if it wasn't for the rampant ableism in the mental health field plus the fact that—#—institutionalization is just an extension of incarceration#if only the people who have power over me would just listen and actually take care of me so i wouldn't have pushed myself to this point
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scared they're just. keeping in touch. because I give them my money by buying tickets and merch orz
#stupid anxieties and paranoia lmao#maybe this is why i have such a hard time getting to know people irl and forming proper interpersonal relationships#because i tend to be cringe and overshare way too early#and it's not like i scare people off BUT i scare myself into withdrawing and the connection doesn't go anywhere from that point in#*on. and there's always this aftertaste of of i told them way too much too fast#this is awkward and i'm so embarrassed. they know way more about me than i know about them.#and then i kinda. run away and isolate#making everything even worse and not fixing anything#maybe it's just. the fear of people seeing my innermost self. and thinking i'm disgusting and ugly and broken and not worth their time#IDK just. low key spiralling 👍#i should shut up my brain and just watch saw. maybe that'll calm me down
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can fucking harvard maybe not try to sell me weight loss diets?
#tw weight loss#ok to rb but no contrarians. not in the mood#harvard🤝the kardashians for SOME FUCKING REASON?#tw weight talk in the tags but in a way that's critical of weight loss' pervasiveness as a put-forth cure-all.#but yo i just need an article on how to not gag while taking my meds and it shows me this pop up#I HAAATE how weight loss has become synonymous with health#to the point of ads automatically assuming you need it#like. no. that's not automatically something that'll make you healthier.#less is not better#even if less WAS better for someone that's so individualized#like. for me less is worse with my medical issues and a sign something's wrong.#weight loss for me is a worrying symptom and not something to strive for. i wish it would stop being painted as a universal net positive.#it means i'm not absorbing nutrients properly/too sick to eat/it's taking a lot more energy for my body to function than most people/etc#like no. it's actively fucking worrying for a LOT OF PEOPLE#like. don't @ me playing devil's advocate on this. i know weight loss is something healthy for some people.#but don't for a second even try to pretend that it isn't a core part of our society in ways that negatively impact millions.#that's my problem with this moreso than the pop up itself. this pop up is a symptom of that#i'm not in the mood for a debate on this topic to be honest. this is not an invitation#AND I'M STILL NOT FINDING GOOD TIPS ON HOW NOT TO GAG WHEN TAKING MY MEDS but that's another long ramble#but like tldr i'm FULLY capable of taking my meds. i've had to take like 8 in a single sitting before#but i've had one recently that made me feel really sick#so now i've pavloved myself into preemptively gagging at the mere thought of taking pills#and i can't undo it. which sucks as an emetophobe#ughhhhhh. just one of those nights. i'll manage.#pms is not helping kjdfhkdjg
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so my referral for my psych appointment went through but it's explicitly just for a "medication consult" and i'm so fucking annoyed about it. i hate the public healthcare system here sometimes like i know it sucks to pay $400 for a single 1 hour appointment but i'd rather do that and pay for someone who MIGHT give me the time of day as opposed to someone who has literally over a hundred patients, is overworked to all hell, and makes it extremely obvious within the first 30 seconds of meeting them that they do not give a single shit about you and just want to up your meds and move on to the next fucking patient
#i have to start being more of an asshole to these people it's the only fucking way they'll listen#but i am. quite literally physically incapable of doing that. lol!#also they'll just label me as oppositional and belligerent and that'll make everything worse :)#exe
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i think i'm just gonna let myself hyper focus on one or a few muses here at a time ( instead of making new blogs ) bc mind is cycling through a lot lately & can't remain still for more than a few days at a time.
#mobile.#i think that'll be easier for me#but idk if it'd work multimuse-wise#bc i already get little in way of interactions#& this might make that even worse#idk#but i gotta figure something out
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I wonder if I'm makin things better or worse for the collective bein like this. On one hand I'm not happy or makin any progress towards it, but...I can't rly even imagine that. I can't imagine a life without him. It's not that I don't want it, on some level I know it'd be better for me, but...I can't even dream about it cause I just can't imagine it at all.
On the other hand I make a great decoy. He's basically dropped all interest in Angel cause now he knows I'm the one who still wants him n loves him n can't exist without him. So at least one of us will make it out this time, I think.
#mafia honey#it's not a self-sacrificing thing. i'd stay all the same even if it did nothin for anyone else. but it's nice that it does!#at least some good that'll come out of this fucking mess#whatever happens to me is.....i mean it'd happen anyway. i'm neither ready or strong enough to try n get away. i don't rly even want to#i'd rather just stick around n trick myself into thinkin maybe someday he'll care about me too#i guess i make a pretty good pet too. i don't rly talk back anymore or get angry or say no. i don't make a fuss about much.#n i mean....contract or no the chain's still there. he knows it i know it there's no place far enough that he couldn't pull me right back in#nothin out here for me anyway. all i do is abuse substances n cry. at least this way i can just go to val instead of wrecking the body too#or just self soothe w/ the most horrific violent abusive scenarios i can think up. or the care i can pretend comes after#cause in reality he's been rly skimpin on the aftercare lately n that's. not great. makes the inevitable crash a whole lot worse#it's like he looked at the list of what NOT to do in a dynamic like this n made it his how-to guide instead...#though it's probably just all part of the game. needs to keep us low enough that we don't get too strong n start gettin ideas.#needs to keep us desperate enough that we keep comin back instead cause nothin else gives us the rush like he does#i think i saw the term for that recently. breadcrumbing? maybe#i can see what he's doin i know all the steps by now but i'm just lettin it play out anyway#not like i could stop it anyway. he knows everythin. he knows what i feel better than i do#plus if he doesn't he can just make it up n convince me he's right cause i can't tell the difference#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it is what it is. at least angel n silk seem to be breakin free of it now. i'm not around that much anyway#spdrvent
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it has to be said though, I had a lovely rest of the day after my breakdown this morning. it was very cathartic. painted for like eight hours after that, and had a good time doing it.
#also watched Sad Boyz for... well that entire time tbh#maybe that also helped. probably. Jarvis in particular is always incredibly calming to me. I relate to him so much so it helps when he says#something very eloquent about his feelings or whatever. idk it's just good#big feelings day today I guess#alsooo had a......... long shower... for the first time in a month/since I've been here. if you get what I'm saying. because I'm#uncomfortable saying it lol. anyway that... also helped#removed a lot of the way-too-horny anxiety lol.#annnnnyway no one needs to know that but whatever 💖#then I rewatched the night court episode with the law club where Dan is really just. selfless. and does something so nice for Christine#man I love that episode#he's my good boy. I could totally fix him and show him that he isn't the worst person on earth. that'd be fun#it'd fix me too tbh#or we could make each other worse 💖 I'd be okay with that too#anyway it's bed/daydream time. so that'll be fun haha#it is very frustrating that I can only realise things about myself and my own life through fictional characters and random guys. but#whatever I'll take what I can get#personal
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Hm
#my posts#look yes i keep making at least one post like this a day and it will continue but its either letting it out or i have no idea#also in my defense y believe most of my mutuals arent up so it is peak time to post about feeling like shit#my plan isnt for someone to read these its for the bullshit to get out and try to not get to the point shit hits the fan#anyways man teen me would be so fucking disappointed by so many things the mere fact we are still alive would make them livid#and alive and living like this?#probably if they knew it was gonna be like this it would have happened lmao#they would just think we are a coward and a dumbass who can't do anything right tbh but they did know then too it's not knew#if it was new we wouldn't be here wouldn't we. why am i referring to is in plural it's just two dif timed mes#but yeah they are probably like 'hey of you are gonna keep living at least you could do it in a way no one regrets it' but alas we do#and we will keep regretting it bc our death won't be our choice. the deadline for it was extended until we were 20 and it's long closed#.... things are getting worse tho they put true but like. that isn't an option anymore lmao it sucks tbh#... i don't have anything else to say that isn't repeating it#i. do wish it was still an option idek why it isn't anymore it's some stupid arbitrary rule#i hate this. it's like. i really don't do a single thing that could make any version of me proud of myself#not teen me not child me not current me. none of us is okay with whatever the fuck i have going on and yet!#.man. I've spent all day tired and wanting to cry for nothing particular but also for literally everything so like#that would fix me. i don't know how to make it happen#... I'm gonna go to sleep#i need my phone to finish charging but that'll be over soon#so yeah I'll. go to sleep soon
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LET ME BE THE JUDGE OF THAT - T . NOTT
Mature Content Ahead
Theodore Nott x Fem!Reader
Summary: You and Enzo are best friend, you have a bi-weekly gossip session at the astronomy tower during your bi-weekly smoke break. During said gossip, Enzo drops some juicy goss about a certain slytherin boy and how he's 'packing', iygwim ;)
Warnings: SMUT, Switch Theo and Reader, Mentions of Smoking, Graphic descriptions of sex, Slight Male!Receiving Oral, Squirting
A/N: I apologise for any spelling mistakes or slightly off sentences. I did proof read but I am dyslexic with acrylics on so my spelling gets progressively worse.
Theodore Nott. The man he was. He was one of your friends, he was in the group of the original slytherins from day dot. You always harboured something towards him - you just didn't know if it was feelings or pure lust. The man was an absolute pantie dropper. He just got even hotter with puberty.
Though he wasn't as much as a whore as Mattheo, he definitely stuck his dick in a few things (stupid bitches). There were many rumours about him but no one knew it was real, no one kiss and told with him. For all you knew he could've been an absolute virgin. But one of the rumours was true, Enzo mentioned over your bi-weekly free period cig break in the Astronomy tower.
"Oh! I've got some goss for you" Enzo chuckled as he pointed his slender fingers at you. His cigarette perfectly slotted inbetween his index and middle.
"What?" You looked over at him intruiged, as you stayed sat against the railing of the tower, your feet dangling over the old cobble below.
"Theo" He smirked. If you were a dog your ears would've perked up. The way your body instantly sat up straight away as you looked over at him more alert than ever. Your hand paused infront of you, the cig butt burning out. "Its big" He winked.
"Oh fuck off 'Zo" You took a puff from your cig, letting it hit your throat before exhaling. "You're full of shit, I'm not sitting here and listening to you bullshit another stupid 'Big Dick of Hogwarts' again. Do you know I actually got with Adrien just to fucking see" You rolled your eyes.
Enzo laughed "Did you actually?!"
You nodded as you inhaled the smoke from your cigarette, flicking the end as ash fell from the tip. "Well embarassing too, was so turned off at the.. what 3 inches I had to work with, just walked out" You groaned.
Enzo snickered but collected himself. "I'm serious though, it's literally huge. He sent a picture to the lads groupchat-"
"Why?" You cut him off
"We wanted to compare dick sizes so we measure it against our DADA text books" Enzo shrugged.
"You lot are fucking stupid..." You shook your head. "But.. out of interest where abouts was it? Would you say centered with the authors name in the centre or? I know the book is 15 inches tall" You spoke, putting out your cig on the metal bar.
"Jesus fucking Christ you are a freak" Enzo laughed putting out his cigarette beside yours. "But it was to the title lettering"
You stood up in shock. "You're saying Theodore Nott has a 9 inch penis.."
"How do you know the size- Wait I'll just show you" He pulled his phone out of his pocket, pulling up the groupchat and showing you the picture. Now with Enzo, if you couldn't guess it by now, he was the male gay of the group - him and Pans representing the rainbow together. You all thought it would be Blaise he turns out he ended up hitting it off well with Luna Lovegood.
"No.. fucking way" You gripped the muggle phone as you stared at the picture. "This makes me want to fuck Theo even more 'Zo. I've been toying with the idea but fuck this solidifies it"
Enzo laughs "Well he's been having a 'dry spell at the moment' said he can't get it up because of an 'inconsistency' he said but he won't tell anyone. Sounds like he's seen something that'll only make him hard".
"Inconsistency? Pfft, I'll be the judge of that" You smirked.
"Oh I bet you will" He snickered.
"Jesus, this cig break was crazy" You laughed, giving Enzo his phone back and the two of you walked down the steps of the tower.
"I'll update you if I hear anything more from Mr 9 inches" Enzo winks.
You shook your head bidding him a goodbye.
Later that day, You made your way into the dungeons, walking to Enzo's dorm to tell him about the crazy fight between Astoria and a random Ravenclaw over Draco.
"Zo you'll never fucking believe it. Astoria ate shit today and got her ass handed to by a Raven...claw-" You flung open the door, looking up and locking eyes to chest with a very naked, towel covered sadly, Theo.
"My eyes are up here bella" He smirked.
You gawked at him, shocked to see him, especially how chiseled he was... as your mouth practically salivated at the sight of him.
"Bella?" Theo chuckled at your frozen figure.
"Respectfully Theo, I've always found you so fucking hot. But now I'm going to have to definitely suck you off" You smirked up at him.
He snickered as he gazed at you. His tongue running across his bottom lip before biting it. "You really dont play around... Come on then"
You slammed the door behind you as you lunged yourself at Theo, crashing your lips onto his. His hands roaming your body as your slid from his shoulders to his damp chest. Your fingers working through the crevasses slowly.
"My.. my.. So eager" He laughed as you pushed him back against a bed while yanking at the towel watching as he caught himself with his hands on the bed, sitting up as he supported himself completely naked.
You bit your lip as you dropped to your knees. "Fuck.. Enzo wasn't lying" You placed your hands on his thighs.
"What?" Theo froze.
"Enzo showed me your dick pic.. Its even bigger in person though" You bit your lip.
"Fucking Enzo.. So you saw my cock and now wanna suck it because of a picture?"
"Yeah pretty much" You licked a stripe up the base of his shafts to the tip as you peered up at him smirking as he let out a shaky gasp.
"You are a weird one Y/N.. Now hurry up before I fuck your face with it" He groaned slightly agitated at being teased.
"He also said about your inconsistency to get it up Nott.. you seem to not be having an issue" You smirked as you took his length into your hands as you jerked him off slightly as you kissed up his pelvis.
"Don't act so suprised bella.. We both know it was because of you and that cheeky thong of yours. Why'd you think that was OK?" Theo sighed as he bit his lip peering down at you.
"Me?" You questioned.
You peered outside your door, looking left and right before slithering out. You really wanted to grab some water from the kitchen but it was so late and you couldn't be asked to wait till breakfast.
You snuck out the common room, running down to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water but also stealing a few biscuits while you were at it.
You had successfully made it back to the common room, slowly walking down the stairs before turning to walk up the stairs to your dorm. You felt a presence near you but you, looked around and saw no one. So you shrugged it off.
Third POV
"Fuck-" Theo hissed as he flicked his cigarette out the window as he stared at your figure stood at the end of the stairs.
The way you stood in your little black knee high socks, paired with an absolute ravishing black lace thong - leaving nothing to Theo's imagination. Not only that, a tiny crop top with underboov practically spilling out. Theodore was spoilt by this view. He noticed you didn't notice him as you crept back upstairs. The growing tent in his joggers as he stood up to readjust but ending up moaning at the slight friction of the fabric.
What you didn't know, is that night Theo went and jacked off 6 times thinking about you. He'd never came so much, let alone been so weak for anyone. You were all he could think about for weeks. Even when he came to the situation of fucking a random ass Ravenclaw after a party, he couldn't get it up. It wasn't until he thought about that night. You. He could. He ended up ploughing the fuck out of that poor Ravenclaw imaging the girl was you. After that he vowed to celibacy until he could get his hands on you.
"What are you talking about" You laughed as you kitten licked his tip, staring up at him as he fought back his moans. His fists whitening as he clenched then tightly.
"I.. saw you" He gulped, submitting and sitting on the bed as you shuffled closer. "Two weeks ago- You went somewhere I don't fucking know. But you were in a tiny fucking thong and- there was just so much boob and ass.." You tilted your head as you stared at him. "Y/N- I fucked my shit so hard- I fucked a random bitch- I nearly fucking moaned your name" He was pratically begging for you at this point.
You stood up, straddling his hips as you smirked at him, caressing his cheek. "I'm flattered Nott, if you wanted to fuck me you should've just asked" You bit your lip.
"God- S'bad.. I want you so bad Y/N" He pratically whimpered as his cock twitches up against your thigh.
"Who knew Theodore Nott was a begger.. especially with all this" You chuckled, running your hand up his whole length. You lifted your thong to the side as you lined up his dick with your entrance as you slowly sank down on it. Sighing softly as the poor boy whimpered under you.
"Good boy" You cooed, ruffling his hair as you slowly rocked your hips back and forth, biting your lip at the feeling of his dick moving inside of you, hitting your G-spot every. fucking. time.
"I fucking hate.. how weak you make me" He whines, a soft pout upon his lips as his hands grasp at your clothed breasts through your uniform.
You capture his lips, kissing him softly, speaking between the breaths- "You're so.. fucking.. hot.." You sighed as you arched your back, throwing your head back as you gripped his shoulders as you sped up the pace as you rode him. Your hips buckling against his chest as you left out soft whines and moans. Supporting yourself by your arms but you were growing weak. As much as it was hot to see a submissive Theodore, his dick was perfectly hitting your G-spot every fucking time that you were crumbling.
You threw your head forward, looking at Theo as you panted, your mouth open agape as you stared down at him. Lust in your eyes. "Ruin me Nott" you gagged out.
It was like a code word or something. In that moment, Theo pulled out and flipped you over. Ripping off your uniform but leaving your tie on. Slapping your ass harshly as he theusted his dick back into you, tugging on your tie, choking you slightly as he began to piston into you from behind. You gasped, a moan catching in your throat as your head leaned back slightly at the tug of the tie as you felt Theo's hand grip at your neck tightly as you gasped.
"Good girl.. Be good for me.. principessa" He whispered lowly as he let go of your tie, wrapping an arm around your waist as he yanked you up, leaning your back against his chest. You moaned lightly, gritting your teeth as his dick absolutely crushed your insides. His lips upon your neck, biting and sucking on the skin, as his free hand gripped your left breast.
"Fuck!" You whined out as you gasped. The overwhelming feeling of his dick and his touch was driving you insane. "I'm co-" You screamed out as he sped up his thrusts. You gripped his thighs, digging your nails into them as you screamed out. Your eyes rolling back as you let out a low groan as you came harshly against his dick.
Theo let go of you, letting you fall forward against the bed as you panted heavily, breath shaky as you gripped at the sheets below you. His dick still in you as he stared down at your twitching body.
"I'm not done yet, amore mio" He smirked, slapping your ass as he pulled out. Flipping you over as he leaned over kissing you softly. Your arms snaked around his neck, pulling his closer as you sucked on tongue as he gasped feeling him enter you once again.
"Theo- I don't think I can take anymore" You panted, giggling softly, slightly scared.
"You will" He smiled at you, kissing your cheek as he slowly dragged himself in and out of you. "I need to cum too, and you need to come atleast 2 more times" He winked.
His lips captured yours as he kissed you passionately. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your hand finding it's way through his curls as you tugged on them with each pummel into your G-spot. Theo definitely knew how to use all inches of his deadly weapon. You did question why you left it so long.
He pulled away, peppering kisses down your jaw, neck and collarbone, nibbling and sucking lightly occasionally scattering hickies and marks. "So. Beautiful" He growled as he grit his teeth. His grip on the headboard directly above you tightened as he thrusted harder onto you.
"T-Theo" you yelped, scratching down his back harshly with your sharp acrylics. Gasping as he cocked his leg up slightly hitting into you at a tilted angle driving you insane.
"Doing so good, darling. You look so beautiful" He pecked your lips as his grip tightened on his bed frame, thrusting faster as the bed below the pair of you began to creak with each movement. "Good girl.. You are doing so well" He kissed your cheek softly as you let out a soft string of moans.
Your eyes rolled back slightly as your panting became erratic, your toes curling as you shrieked, digging your nails further into his back. "Fuck! Fuckfuckfuckfuck- I'm cumming!" You screamed out as you arched your back, your legs twitching as Theo continued to relentlessly pound into you, showing no remorse for your sensitive state. You yelped loudly, throwing your head forward, locking eyes with him as the knot harshly unwrapped in your stomach as you came harshly against him. He continues to fuck you through your high causing you to squirt. Everywhere.
You threw your head back, squinting your eyes as you gritted your teeth whining as your hands fell from his back to the sheets as you fisted them. It took you a moment to come round, you were seeing white during your high. You noticed Theo slow down, but still continuing to slowly pump into you. You felt his hand caress your cheek as he chuckled softly.
"You alright bella? Thought I lost you there" He smirked softly as he kissed your forehead.
You looked up at him, panting softly, pulling his neck as you placed a soft kiss on his lips. "You're going to kill me Nott.. How have you still not came-" You groaned.
He laughed, hooking his arms under your thighs, he lifted you up causing you to shriek. The boy stood up, lowering you once against fully on his length. His hands gripping your ass as he thrusted into you. Your body recoiling against him as your skin slapped harshly against his.
"Fuck- There-" You gulped biting your lip as your hands gripped his shoulders.
"Love making you feel good.. I could make you cum all day, I don't care if i do too" You groaned, his jaw tensing as you noticed his dick twitch inside of you. He walked across the room, your body rebounding every thrust back into him as you whimpered lowly. He pushed you up against the door, his pace quickening once he leant u against it.
"Fuck yes! You're so tight for me bella, just for me-" He moaned softly into your ear as his face buried into your neck. Soft whimpers leaving his lips turning you on even more. Your hips bucked against him as you tightened your core as you began to lift yourself to bounce up and down. Soft moans leaving your lips as he bit at your neck, whining into your skin.
"M'close!-" He yelped, gulping as he kissed your roughly. You pulled him as close as you could as he continued to plough into you against the door. The pair of you gaining closer and closr to your releases. His thrusts progressively becoming more erratic.
Suddenly, Theo halted before he drop you to your feet, pulling out as you gasped at the sudden lack of pleasure. He pulls you to the bed again, pushing you face first down as he climbed ontop of you. You had no time to compute what was going on or question him. It all happened so fast. His legs eitherside yours trapping you down as he slaps your ass. A soft yelp leaving your lips as he spread your ass and thighs with his hand as he pushed back in. The boy was fucking mounting you like a horse.
He kisses your shoulder messily as he bites down on it, his thrusts becoming messy as you gripped at the sheets again. "Tell me if your- uncomftable" He groaned in your ear. His thrusts growing messier and messier as he sped up. His poor bed frame screaming for a break, constant creaking and slamming against the wall as you both moaned. You were worried for the dorm next door, the pair of you didn't think of a silencing charm.
His whimpering driving you over the edge as you screamed into the pillow. Theo knew you were close, he could feel it as you tightened around him.
The boy chased for his high along with you. You both letting out some rather unattractive groans and whines as you drew close together.
"Sei cosi' sexy" (You're so sexy) He groaned, nibbling at your shoulder as he continued to whimper softly in your ear. His pants become erratic as he continued to thrust into you, at a wildly animalistic pace. "Mio, tu sei mio..~" (Mine, you are mine..~) he whined out, pushing your hair aside as he sucked at your neck. His pants becoming gasps as his dick twitched inside of you. You had no clue what he was saying, but his Italian accent was making you even more wet.
"FUCK!-" you screamed as you sobbed into the pillow, biting the plush object as you harshly came against his thrusts as he sped up one last time, before delving deep inside of you, practically burying himself and his cum deep inside of you.
"Porca puttana, cosi' stretto! Tutto mio. Ti amo, cazzo-" (Holy shit, so tight! All mine. I fucking love you-) He groaned as he held himself above you, his arms shaking as he panted heavily. "Holy fuck.." He collected himself before pulling out and crashing beside you, pushing his hair out of his face.
The pair of you had a few minutes of silence, panting heavily and collecting yourself together.
You lifted your hair out of the pillow as you turned to look at his fucked out face beside you. You let out a soft snicker as you moved to cuddle him, putting your head on his chest.
Theo didn't know you knew a bit of Italian not much, but enough to know he just professed his love for you.
"Ti amo" You smiled up at him. His face shot to you, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed.
"You understood?-" He gulped.
"Only slightly but, I love you too Theo" You kissed his cheek.
He shook his head, laying a soft kiss on your lips.
The two of you cuddled a bit longer before you retreated to the shower where you went another round. You don't know how you did it. Your legs certainly hate you at this point. He decided to leave some nasty bite marks and hickies on your thighs. He even drew blood a few times but that's something the two of you can toy with later...
Later you stumbled down the stairs in one of Theo's tshirts. Your hair very messy and skin peppered in hickies and bites from neck to thigh. Theo followed behind you.
You noticed your friends sat upon the couches in the common room.
You looked to Enzo "Can confirm it is definitely 9 inches" You both laughed as your friends look at you confused.
"Who-" Draco questioned before gasps came from them all as Theo walked downstairs, covered in scratch marks, bites and hickies as he stood behind you ruffling his hair in just his trackies.
"Oh my god" Pansy gawked.
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#theodore nott x reader#theo nott x reader#theo nott smut#slytherin boys fanfiction#slytherin fanfiction#slytherin boys#theodore nott smut#harrypotter fanfiction#lorenzo zurzolo#angelfrombenethfics
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How can you consider yourself any sort of leftist when you defend AI art bullshit? You literally simp for AI techbros and have the gall to pretend you're against big corporations?? Get fucked
I don't "defend" AI art. I think a particular old post of mine that a lot of people tend to read in bad faith must be making the rounds again lmao.
Took me a good while to reply to this because you know what? I decided to make something positive out of this and use this as an opportunity to outline what I ACTUALLY believe about AI art. If anyone seeing this decides to read it in good or bad faith... Welp, your choice I guess.
I have several criticisms of the way the proliferation of AI art generators and LLMs is making a lot of things worse. Some of these are things I have voiced in the past, some of these are things I haven't until now:
Most image and text AI generators are fine-tuned to produce nothing but the most agreeable, generically pretty content slop, pretty much immediately squandering their potential to be used as genuinely interesting artistic tools with anything to offer in terms of a unique aesthetic experience (AI video still manages to look bizarre and interesting but it's getting there too)
In the entertainment industry and a lot of other fields, AI image generation is getting incorporated into production pipelines in ways that lead to the immiseration of working artists, being used to justify either lower wages or straight-up layoffs, and this is something that needs to be fought against. That's why I unconditionally supported the SAG-AFTRA strikes last year and will unconditionally support any collective action to address AI art as a concrete labor issue
In most fields where it's being integrated, AI art is vastly inferior to human artists in any use case where you need anything other than to make a superficially pretty picture really fast. If you need to do anything like ask for revisions or minor corrections, give very specific descriptions of how objects and people are interacting with each other, or just like. generate several pictures of the same thing and have them stay consistent with each other, you NEED human artists and it's preposterous to think they can be replaced by AI.
There is a lot of art on the internet that consists of the most generically pretty, cookie-cutter anime waifu-adjacent slop that has zero artistic or emotional value to either the people seeing it or the person churning it out, and while this certainly was A Thing before the advent of AI art generators, generative AI has made it extremely easy to become the kind of person who churns it out and floods online art spaces with it.
Similarly, LLMs make it extremely easy to generate massive volumes of texts, pages, articles, listicles and what have you that are generic vapid SEO-friendly pap at best and bizzarre nonsense misinformation at worst, drowning useful information in a sea of vapid noise and rendering internet searches increasingly useless.
The way LLMs are being incorporated into customer service and similar services not only, again, encourages further immiseration of customer service workers, but it's also completely useless for most customers.
A very annoyingly vocal part the population of AI art enthusiasts, fanatics and promoters do tend to talk about it in a way that directly or indirectly demeans the merit and skill of human artists and implies that they think of anyone who sees anything worthwile in the process of creation itself rather than the end product as stupid or deluded.
So you can probably tell by now that I don't hold AI art or writing in very high regard. However (and here's the part that'll get me called an AI techbro, or get people telling me that I'm just jealous of REAL artists because I lack the drive to create art of my own, or whatever else) I do have some criticisms of the way people have been responding to it, and have voiced such criticisms in the past.
I think a lot of the opposition to AI art has critstallized around unexamined gut reactions, whipping up a moral panic, and pressure to outwardly display an acceptable level of disdain for it. And in particular I think this climate has made a lot of people very prone to either uncritically entertain and adopt regressive ideas about Intellectual Propety, OR reveal previously held regressive ideas about Intellectual Property that are now suddenly more socially acceptable to express:
(I wanna preface this section by stating that I'm a staunch intellectual property abolitionist for the same reason I'm a private property abolitionist. If you think the existence of intellectual property is a good thing, a lot of my ideas about a lot of stuff are gonna be unpalatable to you. Not much I can do about it.)
A lot of people are suddenly throwing their support behind any proposal that promises stricter copyright regulations to combat AI art, when a lot of these also have the potential to severely udnermine fair use laws and fuck over a lot of independent artist for the benefit of big companies.
It was very worrying to see a lot of fanfic authors in particular clap for the George R R Martin OpenAI lawsuit because well... a lot of them don't realize that fanfic is a hobby that's in a position that's VERY legally precarious at best, that legally speaking using someone else's characters in your fanfic is as much of a violation of copyright law as straight up stealing entire passages, and that any regulation that can be used against the latter can be extended against the former.
Similarly, a lot of artists were cheering for the lawsuit against AI art models trained to mimic the style of specific artists. Which I agree is an extremely scummy thing to do (just like a human artist making a living from ripping off someone else's work is also extremely scummy), but I don't think every scummy act necessarily needs to be punishable by law, and some of them would in fact leave people worse off if they were. All this to say: If you are an artist, and ESPECIALLY a fan artist, trust me. You DON'T wanna live in a world where there's precedent for people's artstyles to be considered intellectual property in any legally enforceable way. I know you wanna hurt AI art people but this is one avenue that's not worth it.
Especially worrying to me as an indie musician has been to see people mention the strict copyright laws of the music industry as a positive thing that they wanna emulate. "this would never happen in the music industry because they value their artists copyright" idk maybe this is a the grass is greener type of situation but I'm telling you, you DON'T wanna live in a world where copyright law in the visual arts world works the way it does in the music industry. It's not worth it.
I've seen at least one person compare AI art model training to music sampling and say "there's a reason why they cracked down on sampling" as if the death of sampling due to stricter copyright laws was a good thing and not literally one of the worst things to happen in the history of music which nearly destroyed several primarily black music genres. Of course this is anecdotal because it's just One Guy I Saw Once, but you can see what I mean about how uncritical support for copyright law as a tool against AI can lead people to adopt increasingly regressive ideas about copyright.
Similarly, I've seen at least one person go "you know what? Collages should be considered art theft too, fuck you" over an argument where someone else compared AI art to collages. Again, same point as above.
Similarly, I take issue with the way a lot of people seem EXTREMELY personally invested in proving AI art is Not Real Art. I not only find this discussion unproductive, but also similarly dangerously prone to validating very reactionary ideas about The Nature Of Art that shouldn't really be entertained. Also it's a discussion rife with intellectual dishonesty and unevenly applied definition and standards.
When a lot of people present the argument of AI art not being art because the definition of art is this and that, they try to pretend that this is the definition of art the've always operated under and believed in, even when a lot of the time it's blatantly obvious that they're constructing their definition on the spot and deliberately trying to do so in such a way that it doesn't include AI art.
They never succeed at it, btw. I've seen several dozen different "AI art isn't art because art is [definition]". I've seen exactly zero of those where trying to seriously apply that definition in any context outside of trying to prove AI art isn't art doesn't end up in it accidentally excluding one or more non-AI artforms, usually reflecting the author's blindspots with regard to the different forms of artistic expression.
(However, this is moot because, again, these are rarely definitions that these people actually believe in or adhere to outside of trying to win "Is AI art real art?" discussions.)
Especially worrying when the definition they construct is built around stuff like Effort or Skill or Dedication or The Divine Human Spirit. You would not be happy about the kinds of art that have traditionally been excluded from Real Art using similar definitions.
Seriously when everyone was celebrating that the Catholic Church came out to say AI art isn't real art and sharing it as if it was validating and not Extremely Worrying that the arguments they'd been using against AI art sounded nearly identical to things TradCaths believe I was like. Well alright :T You can make all the "I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with a catholic" legolas and gimli memes you want, but it won't change the fact that the argument being made by the catholic church was a profoundly conservative one and nearly identical to arguments used to dismiss the artistic merit of certain forms of "degenerate" art and everyone was just uncritically sharing it, completely unconcerned with what kind of worldview they were lending validity to by sharing it.
Remember when the discourse about the Gay Sex cats pic was going on? One of the things I remember the most from that time was when someone went "Tell me a definition of art that excludes this picture without also excluding Fountain by Duchamp" and how just. Literally no one was able to do it. A LOT of people tried to argue some variation of "Well, Fountain is art and this image isn't because what turns fountain into art is Intent. Duchamp's choice to show a urinal at an art gallery as if it was art confers it an element of artistic intent that this image lacks" when like. Didn't by that same logic OP's choice to post the image on tumblr as if it was art also confer it artistic intent in the same way? Didn't that argument actually kinda end up accidentally validating the artistic status of every piece of AI art ever posted on social media? That moment it clicked for me that a lot of these definitions require applying certain concepts extremely selectively in order to make sense for the people using them.
A lot of people also try to argue it isn't Real Art based on the fact that most AI art is vapid but like. If being vapid definitionally excludes something from being art you're going to have to exclude a whooole lot of stuff along with it. AI art is vapid. A lot of art is too, I don't think this argument works either.
Like, look, I'm not really invested in trying to argue in favor of The Artistic Merits of AI art but I also find it extremely hard to ignore how trying to categorically define AI art as Not Real Art not only is unproductive but also requires either a) applying certain parts of your definition of art extremely selectively, b) constructing a definition of art so convoluted and full of weird caveats as to be functionally useless, or c) validating extremely reactionary conservative ideas about what Real Art is.
Some stray thoughts that don't fit any of the above sections.
I've occassionally seen people respond to AI art being used for shitposts like "A lot of people have affordable commissions, you could have paid someone like $30 to draw this for you instead of using the plagiarism algorithm and exploiting the work of real artists" and sorry but if you consider paying an artist a rate that amounts to like $5 for several hours of work a LESS exploitative alternative I think you've got something fucked up going on with your priorities.
Also it's kinda funny when people comment on the aforementioned shitposts with some variation of "see, the usage of AI art robs it of all humor because the thing that makes shitposts funny is when you consider the fact that someone would spend so much time and effort in something so stupid" because like. Yeah that is part of the humor SOMETIMES but also people share and laugh at low effort shitposts all the time. Again you're constructing a definition that you don't actually believe in anywhere outside of this type of conversations. Just say you don't like that it's AI art because you think it's morally wrong and stop being disingenuous.
So yeah, this is pretty much everything I believe about the topic.
I don't "defend" AI art, but my opposition to it is firmly rooted in my principles, and that means I refuse to uncritically accept any anti-AI art argument that goes against those same principles.
If you think not accepting and parroting every Anti-AI art argument I encounter because some of them are ideologically rooted in things I disagree with makes me indistinguishable from "AI techbros" you're working under a fucked up dichotomy.
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It's Hard to Believe | Jungkook One Shot
Summary: Getting pregnant with your best friend's baby definetly wasn't a part of the plan... Pairing: f!Reader x Jungkook (fwb, f2l) Word Count: 2.7k Warnings: A tiny bit of explicit and suggestive language but nothing crazy a/n: This is something I started writing at like midnight and it's kinda shit but I thought I might as well post it since I haven't posted in a while (Like five days short of a month wtf?!?!? How has it been that long?!?!) (I just barely checked rn lmao my bad 🥲) p.s. I kinda wanna do a full on series on a concept like this but it'll be different and less fluffy but that won't be happening for a long ass time but yeah lol Requested by a lovely anon 💜
"How am I supposed to tell him?" I ask my friend Sam for the millionth time since I found out. "Y/n just tell him. You guys have been friends for how long?" she asks and it's like I'm having deja vu from both of our responses. "Like ten years" I mumble and pull my sweatshirt sleeves down over my hands in an effort to stop my nervous fiddling but it only makes it worse.
"Right and you guys have been messing around with each other for over a year now, maybe even more...I don't wanna know" she says while holding her hand up in a way to assure me that she doesn't need the details. "Just tell him. If he's as great of a guy as you keep on telling me he is then I promise everything will be okay" she says and places a hand on my shoulder before she gets up off my couch.
"Where are you going?" I ask while she shrugs on her jacket. "Didn't you say he's supposed to be here around five?" she asks and I nod my head, checking the clock and seeing that it's already 4:30.
"Yeah...are you sure you don't wanna stay and say hi?" I ask and she glares at me. "Let me know what his response is to that bun in the oven and then we'll talk. I wanna figure out if he's an asshole or not before I decide to waste anytime on him" she says while lacing up her shoes.
"Promise me you'll tell him tonight?" she asks and lifts up her hood, getting ready to shield herself from the pouring rain outside. I nod my head reluctantly, that being way more progress than I've made for the past few weeks since I found out. "I promise" I utter under my breath and she smiles, pulling me in for a bone crushing hug.
"Text me if you need me" she says, worried for what might happen but hoping for the best. "I will...thanks" I whisper and she nods her head before walking out of my door and turning slightly and waving to offer me one last farewell.
I close the door after I see her get into her car and lean my back up against it, steadying myself for a second and taking deep breaths, trying to stop my racing heartbeat before pushing off of it and tidying up before Jungkook gets here to distract myself.
Sam has been the only one I've been able to count on and honestly the only person I can trust since I haven't told anyone else. She was the one I called when I missed my period and she's the one who brought me a pregnancy test...and then when out and bought me ten more because I couldn't actually grasp the concept that I was pregnant...am pregnant.
Jungkook and I have always been careful and taken all the necessary steps to keep this from happening but I guess we got careless this time.
Through out this whole arrangement we've made it very clear to each other that we're not sleeping with anyone else but neither of us are looking for any sort of commitment either so that's why this has gone on for so long.
Like it or not though we're going to be committed to each other in one way or another no matter what because I'm keeping this baby. No matter what he says I'm keeping them.
Jungkook is my best friend, the one person who has been there for me through everything. He's seen me at all of my highest highs and especially at my lowest lows and no matter what he's never made me feel shitty about it. I know he's not the kind of guy that'll turn on you because of something like this but I can't help but still feel terrified.
This wasn't supposed to happen but even if this child wasn't made with love from his side...it was made with love from mine.
I don't know how long it's been since I fell in love with him but I know I shouldn't have said yes to this whole fuck buddy ordeal. I just couldn't stand the thought of him being with someone else so when he offered up the idea I said yes.
I figured that if this was a way to prevent him from getting his heart broken by all those sorry excuses of girlfriends he's had in the past then I guess I'll be okay with breaking mine.
He's been acting different lately though. He's been a lot touchier, asking to come over more often, going out of his way to help me with things, offering to feed me all the time and all of it is making me feel like he already knows.
Does he know? Have I started showing already? I haven't really noticed a difference in my body yet but he looks at me naked a lot more often than I pay attention to myself naked so I mean I guess he could've noticed right?
Only one way to find out though...
A half an hour later I hear him take out his keys and unlock my door and soon I'm greeted with a smile that tugs at my heartstrings.
"Hi baby" he says, using that pet name he's become very fond of since this whole ordeal started. The sound of it after finding out I'm pregnant with his baby has made me a little uncomfortable though since I haven't told him yet.
Don't get me wrong I love it when he calls me that but I can't help but think that if this goes south that he won't ever call me that again.
Maybe the hormones have started to scramble my brain already because those uncomfortable feelings are quickly thrown away when I take in the sight of him after he shrugs off his rain coat. A simple black baggy hoodie and jeans engulf his form and the comfy sight just makes me want to curl up in bed with him and forget about everything and everyone.
Just him and I, it's always been him and I. I just don't know if this little one is going to change things.
I place a hand on my stomach for a second as a way to gain some strength from my itty bitty baby before finally working up the courage to greet him.
"Hi" I greet him softly, walking over to where he's stopped to take off his shoes and when he looks back up at me he smiles again and kisses me. I sigh into it, savoring it for just a little bit longer and when it finally breaks he looks down at me with concern now written all over his face.
"Are you okay?" he asks, sensing that something's off right away from the just the small change in the way I kissed him. I hesitate for a second then simply hold out my hand for him to take and he does, following behind me as I lead him over to my couch.
Getting this over with sooner rather than later is my best option right now so there's no reason to delay.
He needs to know, he deserves to know.
We sit there in silence, longer than he would like us to since I can tell how tense his body has gotten in a matter of minutes. "Y/n you're scaring me" he whispers, not wanting to pressure me but relaying his feelings.
I take a couple more deep breaths before finally starting. "I need you to listen to me and I need you to please not speak until I'm finished" I say while looking down at my lap, not being able to meet his eyes.
He murmurs a soft 'okay' and waits for me to continue, taking one of my hands and placing it in his lap. He needs some form of physical contact to keep him grounded since he's not too sure what to expect and I let him, knowing I need some reassurance too.
Even if I don't know what his reaction is gonna be, in this moment I need it more than ever.
"I guess there's really no right way to go about saying this because this wasn't supposed to happen so I'm just gonna come out and say it..." I start off and he squeezes my hand, encouraging me to keep going.
"I missed my period...over a month ago...and I haven't had it since then" I say and finally look up at him where he has an unsure expression. It's not one that's mad or disappointed with what I've said thus far which is a good thing but more like he's trying hard to hold himself back so he can keep that promise.
His hold on my hand hasn't loosened, in fact it's gotten even tighter and that gives me hope that we'll work this out so I take another deep breath before continuing.
"I tried to kid myself into thinking that it was late but when another week passed by I got nervous. I asked Sam to get me a test and it came out positive. I didn't believe it and thought it was a false positive and so to ease my mind she went a bought ten more from a bunch of different brands and...all of them came out positive" I say and he still looks at me with that same expression, waiting for me to give him the okay to speak and so I do.
"How long have you known?" are the first words out of his mouth and although they're not negative they aren't necessarily positive either. "About a month now" I say and he nods his head, taking another second or two to formulate what he's gonna say next.
"I'll support you no matter what you decide" he says and I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding in. "I wanna keep it" I say and he nods his head and smiles softly at first and then as the seconds go by it gets wider and wider making my heart beat faster.
"Am I allowed to get excited now?" he whispers and I can't help but chuckle as tears start to prickle my eyes and give him a nod. "You're excited?" I say, my whole being slowly overcome with emotion.
"How could I not be?" he scoffs playfully but that answer has me confused. "But Jungkook we're not together. I mean we're not in a relationship, we're just friends" I explain and there's a playful glint in his eyes after I say that that's making me even more nervous.
"You wanna know what I thought you were gonna tell me?" he offers up, slightly changing topics but I look at him in a way to urge him to continue. "I thought you were gonna break up with me" he says and I smile, "Jungkook we're not together. How could I break up with you?" I chuckle in disbelief.
"Correction, I thought you were gonna break up with me before I even got the chance to ask you to be my girlfriend" he says with a grin and my jaw drops, the dots all connecting as to why he's been acting so different lately. "You were gonna ask me to be your girlfriend?" I utter quietly as if we were in a crowed room and I had a secret for just the two of us.
"I had actually planned on asking you tonight" he explains, walking over to where he had placed his backpack on the floor, taking out a bouquet of slightly squished flowers. "Sorry they're all beat up. I forgot and rode my bike over here so I didn't really have any other option but to put them in there" he says almost as if he was nervous, rubbing the back of his neck and it's then that I notice how pink his ears have gotten.
He is nervous
I take them from him and smile, waiting for him to say it but he simply stands there and admires me and I can't help but laugh. "What so funny? I told you what happened to them" he utters through pouty lips which only makes me laugh more. "No, no it's not the flowers it's just that...don't you have something to say?" I ask, calming down my chuckles and when he looks at me with the same confused expression I have to try my hardest to keep the laughter at bay.
"Do you have something you would like to ask me Jungkook" I rephrase it and after a second his lips go from a pout to the shape of an 'O' as he's figured it out. "Oh um, yeah, right. Well I um" he starts off, rubbing the back of his neck again while stuttering and trying to find the words and after struggling for a second I decide to poke fun at him again.
"Jungkook I am literally carrying your child and you're too afraid to ask me to be your girlfriend?" I laugh, giving him a slight reality check which he scoffs at before responding.
"I was trying to remember what I had rehearsed to say to you but now that you're being a little brat I guess you'll never get to know all the nice things I was gonna say" he retorts, his voice suddenly taking on a darker tone that sends a shiver through my body and he smirks when he sees my reaction to it.
He cups my face and rubs his thumb along my bottom lip, making them part and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops just shy of my lips. "Will you be my girlfriend?" he whispers, nudging his nose against mine and making me smile.
"I'll have to think about that" I play coy with him which he chuckles at. "You know if you weren't pregnant right now I would have thrown you over my lap for that smart mouth" he warns and I smile before leaning in and kissing him for just a second before pulling back.
"Yes I'll be your girlfriend" I say and nudge my nose against his as well and before I can register it my back is on the couch and his lips are pressed against mine, the kiss not rushed but full of so many words that have yet to be said and he gives in, not being able to hold it in anymore.
"I love you" he says, pulling back and looking down at me to see my expression which is completely dumbfounded to say the least. "You what?" I ask and he chuckles, "Is it really that hard to believe?" he points out and I guess now that I think about it it really isn't.
"I guess we've both been in love with each other for a while now huh?" I smile and his eyes light up at my round about confession. "Say it" he says, and I can feel my cheeks heating up. I hadn't planned on actually saying those three words to him even though I've felt them for so long but I don't want to hold them back anymore.
"I love you" I whisper and he smiles, "Say it again" he repeats, clearly not believing it just yet. "I love you Jungkook" I say and the little switch up with attaching his name to the end darkens his gaze. "I guess there's no chance in me getting you pregnant a second time right now huh?" he asks, sliding his hand up my thigh and I giggle.
"No I think that's pretty much impossible but the odds are never zero" I say and he rolls his eyes. "I'm trying to tell you that I wanna hit it raw" he states the obvious while rolling his eyes. "I know I know...and the answer is yes Daddy" I tease, testing to see how that word affects him now that he knows.
He tongues his cheek at that making me bite my lip, knowing that's gonna be even more of a trigger word for him from now on. "Daddy huh? Well I guess that title is a little more fitting now isn't it?"
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Short: Leon (The Long Suffering)
Arthur: I'm gonna mess with this goofy eared kid.
Leon: *Internally thinking* Why do I feel like Arthur just met his match??
Arthur: He's absolutely terrible, the worst Manservant I've ever seen!
Leon: I'm sure with time he will improve, Sire. It's only been the first week.
Arthur: I've already sacked him, but then changed my mind and re-hired him back.
Leon: Ah... I see... Why?
Arthur:... *Internally thinking* Because I liked the way he looked at me when I won.
Arthur: It was difficult to find good help nowadays.
Leon: Right...
Arthur: Can you believe it, Merlin went and accused himself of being a sorcerer! In front of my father during the council meeting!
Leon: He what?! 😨
Arthur: I know! All because a girl gave him a flower. That idiot. I don't know where his head is at.
Leon: Hold on a second sire, he really said that in front of the King and didn't get executed?? 😧
Arthur: *Waves it off* Yeah, I had to explain that it was cause he had a crush on Gwen. *Mutters to himself* Maybe I should get him some flowers? 🤔
Leon: !? ⁉���❕❔
Arthur: My idiot Manservant got sick and I got him flowers so he'd feel better. 💐
Leon: Arthur, he drank poison for you and you went off to find the antidote. 😑
Arthur: So you think he liked it?
Leon: ... *Takes a deep breath* I'm sure he did Sire.
Arthur: 😁 See! I take care of my servants~
Arthur: *Breaks into Leon's room*
Leon: *Jumps in fright* ⁉️
Arthur: I can't believe him!
Leon: What is it? Is there an attack Sire? Something happened with the King?
Arthur: No! It's that insolent brat Merlin. He came back with some guy, singing him praises and wants me to make him a knight?!😤
Leon: *Thinking* Is this really worth barging into my chambers? 😮💨
Leon: Really, then what did you do? 😑
Arthur: Ha, had the guy cleaning the stables.
Leon: 🤦🏼♂️
Leon: *Watches as Arthur sits with goofy smile and practically hearts in his eyes*
Leon: Sire?
Arthur: Isn't it the loveliest day to go out for a picnic? 🥰
Leon: Yes Sire, it is indeed.
Arthur: *Nods* I had Merlin pack a picnic for me and the lady Sofia. Where gonna go later today.
Leon: *Confused and concerned* But don't you have a meeting with the King today?
Arthur: *Waves it off* It's fine, I have Merlin to cover for me!
Leon: *Thinking* Oh boy...
[LATER]
Merlin: *Coming back from the stocks* I'm gonna kill that cabbagehead! 😠💢
Arthur: *Walks in* Merlin~! 🥰💐🌈
Merlin: 🌩️🔪😠
Leon: *Makes a break for it*
Leon: *Walks by Morgana's room*
Morgana: Please Arthur he just a boy and he's sick! 🥺
Arthur: I'm sorry Morgana, but my father is looking for him and if he were to find out you harboured a druid, you'll not only get into trouble but so would Gwen and Merlin.
Morgana: *Angry* 😠
Merlin: *Steps in* Please Arthur, we can't let the King kill him. 🥺
Arthur: ... *Turns away* I saw nothing, heard nothing. I've got to look for the Druid boy because clearly he isn't here. *Leaves room without noticing Leon*
Morgana: Tsk, of course he'd listen to Merlin.
Gwen: *Giggles*
Merlin: Arthur has a good heart. Of course he'd help. *The face of loyalty and innocence*
Morgana: 😏 He followed his heart alright. I'll remember next time to have you around to convince him for some things.
Merlin: 🤨❔❔ What do you mean?
Leon: *Overhears and follows his princes lead and continues like nothing happened*
Leon: *Witnessed Merlin doing Sorcery, trying to burn the Black Knight and fails*
Leon: ... I saw nothing. Just tired eyes. Yup, nothing here. *Mutters* Not like Arthur would believe it, or even care.
Uther: Where is my son and ward?! 😠
Leon: They've decided on a friendly hunting trip, they'll be gone for several days.
Leon: *Internally* They went after Merlin to his home village to fight bandits alone. And I'm not gonna say anything because
1. You'll blame Merlin and send him away
2. Merlin's a sorcerer who you'll kill if you knew
3. If any of the above happens Arthur might likely kill you and that'll be a worse headache then his pinning.
Uther: Those brats!
Leon: *Thinking* I couldn't agree more.
[LATER]
Arthur: If I ever retire from royalty, I think I'd like to live as a farmer.
Leon: Ah, is that so?
Arthur: Yup. Of course, Merlin would be there to do the work.
Leon: 😓
Arthur: But I'll get him Cows and chickens, maybe even a horse. He has a soft spot for animals.
Arthur: Merlin's mad at me. He started talking politely to me Leon! Politely. As in using my titles instead of insults. Even avoids looking at me in the eyes. 😟
Leon: 😬 Oof, what did you do?
Arthur: He's angry at me after killing the Unicorn. 😟
Leon: ... That would do it.
Arthur: What do I do Leon!
Leon: Try giving him some space for now and maybe flowers, you've said Merlin likes those.
Arthur: Alright!
[LATER]
Arthur: Merlin's not avoiding me anymore. 😊
Leon: Great to hear, what happened?
Arthur: We faced off the sorcerer of the Unicorns and I drank fake poison before Merlin could.
Leon: ... What?! 😱
Arthur: It's fine. Merlin's still mad about that but now he insults me about my intellect being the size of a peanut. ☺️🌈✨
Leon: I'm almost inclined to agree with him Sire.
Leon: *Spots Merlin and follows him to the Isles*
Nimueh: For a life to be saved, another life must be forfeited.
Merlin: He's my friend. I'd gladly give my life for him.
Leon: *Thinking* God these two are cut by the same cloth. I'm gonna go fully grey by 30.
[LATER]
Arthur: 🥰 Merlin said the most weirdest thing. He said he'd serve me for the rest of his life. That he was happy to be with me. ❤️🥰
Leon: *Bore witness to Merlins power and dedication to his loved ones*
Leon: He cares for you Sire. Would hardly leave your side if he didn't need to help Gaius make your cure.
Arthur: ☺️ Don't tell Merlin this, but I think Merlin's my best friend.
Leon: *Internally swears on his honor as a knight to support Merlin however he could and potentially get his prince to be less of an idiot. Hopefully*
Merlin: *Sneezes*
Gaius: You alright my boy?
Merlin: *Sniffs and shurgs* I'm alright.
Gaius: Hmm, some say that when you sneezing abruptly, it's because someone is talking about you at the moment.
Merlin: Ugh, probably Arthur talking about all the chores he has in stored for me. 😮💨
#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merlin fandom#bbc merthur#arthur x merlin#shorts#leon the long suffering#Leon#short story#short fanfic#arthur loves merlin#prince arthur#Pray for Leon's sanity#He was close to committing treason
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It does make me wonder about... about people's comprehension as a whole, where it's just like... somehow you've failed to understand the basic premise of the question and by going off on an unrelated tangent you've done nothing
It's like if someone asked "I'm allergic to beets and I don't really like yams, was there another option I could use for that recipe?"
And the person responded "I agree, I don't really like yams either, that's why I usually use beets"
Or it's like the post where the person was lamenting not having disposable income enough to even afford an impulse buy of something like a mug, and everyone gets hung up on giving them tips to buy mugs, when... the mug was clearly an example, the problem they're complaining about is too tight of a budget
It's not just reading comprehension either, because I'll experience this in face to face conversations too, even with very intelligent well educated people like therapists (my really good fit therapist I could say "that's not what I want to talk about", and she'd just be like "cool", and we could get to what was really the problem on my mind that week)
I'm sure I do this too, but like... I at least think I do it relatively rarely at least compared to the times where I've just taken a stab at inferring what someone's feeling based on what they said and having them go "exactly", and at least I usually am willing to just stop in my tracks if someone says "no, I'm talking about this"
Then you've got the question of why people do it, and the easy answer is just "oh, something something intelligence", but... lets say for a second that the majority of people are just plain stupid... well then that's how it is and you have to work with it anyway, but I really don't think that's it
Maybe it's just that we all get so fixated on our own lives and our own values that it's hard for people to stop viewing things through their own personal lens, and that makes it hard to engage with what's actually being said
Maybe it's something totally different... I don't know... there's just a huge communicating issue these days and... and I don't like it
#is it worse now than in the past? better? I can't say#I just know it's there and you see people talking past each other all the time#you get stuff like me asking the power company if they had any programs to help with insulation#and getting back a response like:#'you'll need to contact an electrician to see what's drawing more power than it should'#???#that wasn't remotely the question#I know what's drawing power and it's drawing the correct amount of power for what it's doing#the question was if you knew anyone who could help do stuff that would make me have to run heating less often#'no we don't offer or know of anyone who offers insulation assistance programs' would have been a very reasonable answer#I'm not mad that I got a no (I'm not mad in general; just confused); I'm perplexed by a response to a question I didn't ask#and I see it all the all the all the time; not just happening to me either#and I see it in not question based formats like with politics#where there are people that'll be like... I actually have similar goals to you; if you'd stop insulting me I might be willing to cooperate#but you're being very nasty and you're stubbornly insisting it's one very narrow solution or nothing... no thank you#which is a shame because I think this is a real problem and I'd like to see it fixed or at least worked on#but you can't communicate; and so... so what am I supposed to do? just smile as I take shit from you as you bitch about me#because I don't come to the conclusion that this is a problem in the right way for you?#and you're probably thinking 'yeah; you're right; I hate when x group does this'#but friend I'm telling you that when I'm talking about this I'm thinking of two issues on opposite ends of the political spectrum#where I agree that there's an issue that needs addressing but people are so nasty if you don't fall totally in line#so it's like... who needs it?#so all I'm saying is no judgement and no saying you specifically have a problem#but saying we could all do with taking inventory and see if there's places we're so hostile no one can approach us#unless they're already in our corner and thinking how we think#and I could name both of the issues but like... who needs that?#like I do agree to an extent with both of them; but I don't think either one is going about it in a way that will work#and the moment you're not totally in line you're a monster; and that's not just me putting words in people's mouths#...eh#no one can fucking communicate
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