#waterdeep tadfool heist

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Success!

After probably way too much procrastination, preparation, and far too in-depth research, I finally found a way to make solo D&D 5e work in a way that my brain understands!

(Actually Trevor Duvall's actual play sessions on Me, Myself, and Die were a great help in kind of helping me wrap my head around a lot of the concepts. A channel I highly recommend, just because it's also a lot of fun to watch his solo sessions.)

I've started to run Ari and Gale through Waterdeep Dragon Heist, an official 5e adventure module that doesn't really make complete sense to happen post-BG3, but I'm handwaving it. The highlights of the first session were:

Gale trying to take Ari on a dinner date to the Yawning Portal, and somehow thinking that would go well

As his brawny fiancee goes to stop a bar brawl, Gale tries to help and immediately gets swept up in the crush of the crowd and is bullied by some random dock workers

Ari, mighty paladin with her strength of 18, rolls a 3 to pull a half-orc off of the guy she's pummeling

So he decides to leap up onto a table to get a better vantage point, and steps into someone's shepherd's pie

Gale decides that he can diffuse this entire situation by loudly yelling he's going to buy a round for the entire Yawning Portal like he did that one time. He rolls a Nat 1 on his persuasion check.

This leads to more bullying, and people laughing at Gale for being poor (because he left his pouch of gold back at the dinner table -- what sound financial planning!)

In trying to escape this unwarranted wizard harassment, he loses his balance, falls ass over tea kettle and knocks an entire round of ale from a passing server's tray, and lands on the floor in an ungraceful heap, covering himself in ale, and somehow flipping the shepherd's pie into a graceful arc that it lands on his head

Somehow throughout all of that, he still manages to get over to the bar brawl and provide oh-so-intimidating backup and half of the brawlers leave. Somehow Ari does not notice all of the mashed potato in his hair until after they battle a troll and several stirges

After all of this unnecessary chaos, Gale basically microwaves their now cold dinners with a cantrip as Volo talks them into the adventure hook

Volo waxes wayyyy too much poetical about his super totally good friend with wide shoulders and lucious blonde-red hair friendo who he somehow lost two days ago, and just now remembered to try to find

Neither of them are actually dressed for adventuring so now they have to go home to change

These level 12 ass characters absolutely faceplanting and failing miserably at a level 1 encounter in the most true-to-form Tadfool fashion. I love them.

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The dice really are telling a story here with poor Gale. (A very funny story, but still).

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Me: Two level 12 adventurers against 4 regular old kenku isn't a fair fight. Let me try and give the poor Kenku at least a fighting chance of some sort... I know! I'll say they found some of the fancy BG3 arrows in the Zhentarim's stock. And since they passed an extra stealth check I'll give them a surprise round. That should help!

Me: oops.

Initiative Tracker says "Easy", but it didn't understand what I did to my poor babes.

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Waterdeep Tadfool Heist - A Familiar Detour

The next two sessions of Ari and Gale's solo 5e campaign went about as expected. Not completely off the rails but they're still haven't even reached the second encounter. Highlights include:

Ari getting way too into character as they enter a seedy dive bar, and Gale rolling low on his performance check, panicking, and awkwardly ordering dinner after Ari orders some drinks in order to talk to the bartender

Gale needlessly performing magic just because he can (trying to keep his mug clean from the sticky bar surface), and then poofing away the evening's special of mystery gray gelatinous seafood dish

His suspiciously empty plate being noticed by the waitress who thinks he's starving and she takes pity on him deciding to bring him a second serving "on the house"

Gale rolling a 7 on his persuasion check to convince the waitress that no he doesn't need seconds, and in his fumbling asking to meet the chef

Ari abandons him to his fate, because he's cramping her style. She proceeds to actually advance the plot (somewhat)

Gale meets the dice determined NPC Chef: Ol' Crabby

I would die for Ol' Crabby you don't understand

Ol' Crabby is a towering, extremely tidy avant-garde firbolg chef. He has tattoos of various sea creatures, predominantly crabs, covering his hands, and has a special affinity for crabs, both as ingredients and as "friends".

Gale nearly blunders another deception check trying to be enthusiastic about Ol' Crabby's cooking, but manages to stick the landing and actually wheedle some information out of him

This does not distract Ol' Crabby from creating a new dish on the spot, inspired by Gale, that is somehow flavorless yet overwhelming

They finally escape the bar, and remember that Tara needs rescuing, but encounter more gang war stuff on the way

Ari pretends to be a gang leader, rolls insanely high on her deception check, derailing her and Gale having to fight off nine thugs simultaneously

They finally find Tara and the drunken dock workers, Ari rolls stupidly high again, and convinces the drunks they stole her precious housecat (Tara is not amused)

Finally the party is back together and headed to the plot

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Waterdeep Tadfool Heist - Session 2

The second session in Gale and Ari's Waterdeep Dragon Heist campaign went off the rails the moment it started, because instead of heading to the area in the adventure module, they decided to go home to change.

Instead of just changing clothes, they were immediately greeted and fussed at by a tressym who pointed out Gale hadn't effectively cleaned his robes of the evidence of his tavern mishap

Ari has apparently not met Morena yet, and while they were out Gale got a message basically saying 'show me your elf girl', meanwhile, Tara is impatient for grandkittens

It's at this point they realize that the tower is a mess courtesy one cat tressym being a little too thorough in trying to make 1000% sure there's no funny business going on with an invitation left for Gale from Blackstaff Academy (you can't trust those wizards, they didn't lift a finger to help with your condition, Gale!)

So before going out on their rescue mission they have to try and clean the house back up (because Tara doesn't have opposable thumbs, sorry dear), and Tara overhears them talking about heading to the roughest part of Waterdeep after dark, and decides that since the Tadfools' only braincell went to Avernus to help Karlach, she's going to accompany them undercover

So now Gale has to cast Seeming on the three of them (because Ari refuses to leave without her sunshine mace and singing sword), and so Gale and Ari are plain dock workers and Tara is their friendly gray alley cat. She is not amused.

They bypass a grisly scene of gang violence but immediately get distracted by an extremely purple shop. Partially because there's a taxidermied beholder in its window and Tara is offended someone would waste perfectly good beholder meat like that

They of course head inside. Ari charms the proprietor, Xoblob (an old deep gnome that has scribbled a bunch of purple eyes on his bald head), while Gale's attention goes laser focused on a shiny magical object on the shelves. Poor Tara gets overwhelmed by the everything that is this purple palace but seems to find something like a false wall

Ari turns on the charm a little too much, and now Xoblob has a very weird... crush? Not crush? It's hard to describe, but she has, um, and admirer I guess now?

She is almost able to get information out of old Xobby when they're interrupted by someone pretending to be a Waterdhavian Noble (something Gale sees through but feigns ignorance of), who wants to talk to Xobby alone

Ari, apparently the apple of Xoblob's eye, convinces him to not kick them out, and they're able to get a clue on what happened to Volo's friend (FINALLY). The fake noble tries to threaten the gang, which makes Tara's mother instincts kick in

Tara follows the fake noble out of the shop and goes and witnesses a SEKRIT meeting between him and a shadowy figure talking about world city domination, but before she is "catnapped" by a bunch of drunks who think she's a very pretty kitty that they can sell for a fortune. Oops. I think she may have failed at becoming the new holder of the collective brain cell.

After Daemir leaves, Ari pretends she was suuuuper scared of the threat lobbied their way, but old Xoblob rolled a Nat20, but because he's now weirdly taken with her, finds her excellent performance super charming and attractive. Xoblob openly starts making weird suggestions about Ari coming back when they're "free from... unexpected" interruptions. LOOK. The dice made this weird.

Gale gets a bit protective and "wtf" about this and tries to get Ari away from this suddenly intense gnome. They leave to FINALLY go to the tavern they were directed to in the first session. The dice say that Tara will be fine and rescued next session

What will happen next time? Will they actually stay on plot? Will Tara disguised as a ratty gray alley cat get sold off to an "exotic pet dealer"? (look, these guys are REALLY drunk) Will Ari remember she's actually disguised? Wait... I just realized Ari was disguised. Xoblob will not remember her if she comes back to the shop unless she redoes the Seeming disguise. Oh Tadfools, what a tangled web we weave...

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I forgot to update you all on how the rest of that encounter/skill checks went:

The dice really are telling a story here with poor Gale. (A very funny story, but still).