#watchingspnagain 4x16

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching On the Head of a Pin

Welcome to “Shockingly Little Soft Shoe: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

Up today, s4e16: On the Head of a Pin

“Castiel and Uriel want Dean to help them get info out of Alastair using the, um, very special skills he learned during his residency Downstairs. But the phrase “This hurts me more than it hurts you” has maybe never been more truthful, and Dean is clearly shook by the experience. Also, Alastair manages to escape the demon trap and Smarty Cas figures out it was Uriel who let him. All is fraught in the world of angels and boys.”

Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

Lor:

my god look at him

Mace:

so young

Lor:

all stern and hair and coat flapping and striding

Lor:

YES

Mace:

YES

Lor:

the burnt wing thing is SO COOL

Mace:

it really is

Lor:

oooo Sam is driving

Mace:

yeah that’s weird

Lor:

yeah

Lor:

"I'm tired of burying friends, Sam" oh hon

Mace:

“get angry"

Lor:

"we just got back from needed"

Mace:

he’s so done

Mace:

“good times"

Lor:

he really is

Lor:

and the look on Cas's face

Mace:

he’s so cute when he’s pissed

Lor:

omg Uriel giving Cas the "don't coddle them" look

Mace:

and Cas pursing his lips

Lor:

yep he's not about it

Lor:

he wants to coddle the short one so bad

Mace:

snork I love that he’s the short one at, what, over 6 ft?

Lor:

YES

Lor:

ooooof this whole storyline the asking Dean to torture the demon who taught him to torture I just

Mace:

oh Sammy is pissed too

Lor:

YES

Mace:

yeah it’s a great story line

Lor:

"this is too much to ask, I know, but we have to ask it"

Mace:

yeah

Lor:

the dynamic between them is just chef's kiss

Mace:

yeah, give them some privacy pls

Lor:

BACK OFF URIEL

Lor:

uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison lolololololol

Mace:

SNORK

Lor:

"i've been told we need it" I love how he puts it that it's not HIM that wants it

Lor:

"I would give anything not to have you do this"

Mace:

ooof

Lor:

and Dean's watery eyes

Mace:

yep

Mace:

this dude is so gross

Lor:

right?

Lor:

he's so good at the part

Mace:

too good. it’s gross

Lor:

Sam looks very nice in that shirt

Mace:

he really really does

Mace:

oh Sammy, I adore you, you know that, but you don’t have it in you. Dean… does.

Lor:

John only lasted that long because his heart was already a stone

Lor:

yeah

Lor:

that's kind of the problem, Sammy

Lor:

THAT'S why he's not right since he came back

Mace:

“Daddy’s little girl”

Mace:

I LOVE IT

Lor:

YES

Mace:

he needs a cutoff T with that on it

Lor:

YES HE DOES

Mace:

and Cas needs one that just says Daddy

Lor:

OMG YESYESYES

Mace:

this super shouldn’t be so hot

Lor:

eh

Mace:

yes, Dean LET’S GET STARTED

Lor:

oooof Cas's FACE

Lor:

HOW do people think these two don't love each other

Mace:

they’re dummies

Lor:

spells are in Latin but ending spells is in English?

Mace:

pls don’t get me started

Lor:

I mean

Lor:

I would not be above getting you started

Mace:

i know this, Lor

Mace:

oh Sam

Lor:

weak. he should be drinking it straight from her neck

Mace:

you sweet tall dipshit

Lor:

come on, boy, if yer gonna do it, do it

Lor:

LOLOLOL

Lor:

YES

Lor:

no no Alistair. there may be no going back, but Cas is building him into something so much better

Mace:

besides, he’s more interesting with the torture competence and the being tortured by the torture competence

Mace:

exponentially hotter

Lor:

DEFINITELY

Mace:

“went to receive revelation” = “having a poop"

Lor:

OMG that look on his face when he holds his jaw SO HOT

Lor:

HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

YES

Lor:

oh Cas. lean into your doubt, baby

Mace:

oh honey, Chuck is a dick

Lor:

right?

Mace:

oh, we’re calling it doubt now? See, I thought it was Gay Feelings for Dean Dean

Lor:

I do love that the emphasis here is on what the torture does to the torturer. like it's obvious that you shouldn't torture people because of what it does to the victim of the torture. putting the emphasis on how it harms the person doing it is so much more interesting

Lor:

HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

I think it's both

Mace:

yeah

Lor:

(I feel like there's an understood but maybe needs to be said "in fiction" here)

Mace:

(nah)

Lor:

(oh good)

Lor:

oh Dean

Lor:

is the hardest part of this for him learning that he was responsible for breaking the first seal or that he was a righteous man?

Lor:

OMG the quivering lip. the twitch in the jaw. HOW does Jensen DO that?

Mace:

How much of it, I wonder, is Moral Law that the torturer is damaged and how much is actually that the damage is self-inflicted, in the sense that Dean thinks he shouldn’t like it, Mr. Black and White no Grey (at this point in the show, at least)

Lor:

ooooo interesting

Mace:

oh look, he’s actually showing damage here - maybe because he believes he deserves this?

Mace:

oooh and look, Cas has no qualms about twisting that knife

Mace:

that in itself is pretty darn hot

Lor:

I am FASCINATED by this question. has Alaistair hurt him in a way that we can see or is he ABLE to because Dean thinks he deserves it?

Lor:

YES

Mace:

I mean, I think that’s the best/most interesting interpretation of the whole idea of Hell: it only exists for those who believe they deserve it

Lor:

and what, exactly, is the differentce between using Dean's torture knowledge he learned from a demon and Sam doing it because he's jumped up on demon blood?

Lor:

so it doesn't exist for turdburgers who think they're okay?

Lor:

hmmm

Mace:

Yes! Sam believes in his ‘cause’ and so isn’t at all tortured by what he’s doing. And as much as I love him, Dean’s anguish is better/more complex.

Lor:

like, I don't think it exists as a literal place, but I have always kind of thought of hell as the twisting up you do to yourself by not being a good human

Mace:

I don’t really think there’s anyone who’s actually that simpleminded

Lor:

the turdburgers bit?

Lor:

oh Cas

Mace:

so for you that version exists.

Mace:

yep

Mace:

aw, he had a good poop

Lor:

the way he loses his faith is so heartbreaking even though it is the thing that lets him become who he authentically is

Lor:

HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lor:

I mean one does often feel more clear minded after a nice movement

Mace:

exactly

Lor:

Cas looks so LITTLE and LOST

Lor:

take that boy and run away with him and find a nice place to live together, Cas

Mace:

lost faith tends to do that

Lor:

yeah

Mace:

yes, Cas, do that

Mace:

“I’m considering disobedience” THAT IS SO HOT

Lor:

YES IT IS

Mace:

he’s aiming to misbehave

Lor:

and the fact that it MEANS something to him makes it even HOTTER

Lor:

YAAAAAAS

Mace:

now, fuck off, Anna

Lor:

"please tell me what to do" oh hon

Lor:

yep, think for yourself

Mace:

oh, I’ll tell you what to do, sugarwings

Lor:

yeah, Anna, get lost. and don't ever touch Dean or Cas again

Lor:

YAAAAAAS

Lor:

GOD LOOK AT HIM

Mace:

YES

Lor:

Uriel you lying piece of shit

Mace:

yep

Lor:

I mean. it probably was forever, Cas

Mace:

HA

Lor:

nah. it's the blade

Mace:

angel blades don’t kill angels. angels kill angels.

Lor:

LOL

Lor:

careful Uriel. that's Lucifer talk there

Lor:

also, have you met Cas? shittalking humanity is not the way to get him on your side

Mace:

HA

Mace:

Uriel would be so cool as Luci

Lor:

oh. Uriel knows he's Lucifering. I had forgotten that piece

Lor:

he WOULD

Lor:

I'm cool with Uriel exiting stage left but I wish they had either cast this actor as someone who stuck around or found a way to bring him back

Mace:

yeah

Lor:

(shockingly this is true of many of the Black actors on this show)

Mace:

(NOOOO. I’M SHOOK.)

Lor:

omg his little bloody face

Mace:

YES

Mace:

everyone’s getting torn up today

Lor:

YEP

Lor:

on SPN blood is either silly or HOT

Mace:

yep

Lor:

he goes to sit with him I cannot

Mace:

YES

Lor:

"you need to be more careful" "you need to learn to manage a damn devil's trap" MARRIED

Mace:

AND ANNA IS BANISHÈD

Mace:

YEP

Lor:

"it is not blame that falls on you, Dean. it's fate" OOOOOOOF

Mace:

now THAT’S an excellent debate

Mace:

Oedipal like, and all

Lor:

the one who starts it has to stop it. the CIRCLE of it all kicks feets in stupid symbolism glee

Lor:

YES

Mace:

“then you guys are screwed” oh HONEY

Lor:

"I can't do it, Cas. It's too big" and his VOICE

Lor:

THIS MAN SHOULD HAVE AN EMMY

Mace:

he really should

Lor:

"I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be"

Mace:

“either of our dads” oh jesusfuckingchrist that’s good

Lor:

WELL THEY WERE BOTH ASSHOLES, DEAN

Lor:

RIGHT?

Lor:

ooooof that is AN EPISODE

Mace:

CRIPES

Lor:

I feel like you could do a whole semester-long course on THIS ep. the symbolism! the family dynamics! the weird-ass Christianity

Lor:

hello, this is interdisciplinary shit 101. our text is one (1) episode of Supernatural

Mace:

snork

Lor:

how not to do Latin

Lor:

Blood-born diseases and how they make you able to smish demons

Lor:

the possibilities are endless