#watchingspnagain 3x09

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Malleus Maleficarum

Welcome to "The Nice and Accurate Protests of Dean Winchester, Witchfinder General: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog" with Lor and Mace!

  Up today, s3e9: Malleus Maleficarum

    The boys stumble onto a coven of suburban housewife witches, who are using their power to become president of the PTA or some ridiculous nonsense. Dean's not happy with the job because he hates witches because they're messy, and to be honest he's not all wrong - there some seriously gross stuff going on, including teeth falling out and maggots in hamburgers. So yeah, ew. It turns out, though, that one of the witches isn't a witch at all, but a demon. Fake Wifey Witch Demon slams Sam and Dean up against a wall while revealing Ruby's interesting past. Then Ruby does some revealing of her own, telling Dean that all demons are humans who've had the humanity tortured out of them in hell and that's what he has to look forward to once he's been hellhound dragged down there. Dean's...not happy about this either, but isn't quite ready to open up about it to Sammy. Which is, of course, SHOCKING.

  Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

  Mace:

Oooh, the witches one!

  Lor:

YES

  Mace:

  Dean won’t be happy

  Lor:

he will not

Lor:

is this the one where he almost walks into a dead rabbit?

  Mace:

she… keeps her toothbrush in the original box?

  Mace:

  I think so?

  Lor:

they are so rich they use a new one every time

  Mace:

  Ooof, too soon for me

  Lor:

AAAAAUUUGGGH TEETH

AGAIN

  Mace:

  HAHAHAHA

  Lor:

two eps in a row!

  Lor:

holds you

  Mace:

So rude.

  Mace:

leans in

  Mace:

  EWEWEWEW

  Lor:

SO GROSS

  Mace:

  but would that really kill her?

  Lor:

i wouldn't think so?

  Mace:

  stupid witches

  Lor:

mmmm Dean looking PRETTY

  Mace:

YAS

  Mace:

  SO IS SAMMY

  Lor:

"I dunno. I was under his sink"

  Mace:

“awww gross"

  Mace:

  poor Dean

  Lor:

YES

  Lor:

awww, rain on their shoulders

  Mace:

  YES

  Lor:

"I hate witches"

  Lor:

"it's downright unsanitary" pets him

  Lor:

he likes things CLEAN

  Mace:

“some craggy old Blair bitch in the woods"

  Mace:

  HE DOES

  Lor:

LOL

  Lor:

the first rule of book club...

  Mace:

  HAHAHAHA

  Lor:

oh GROSS

  Mace:

oh GROSS

  Mace:

  SNORK

  Lor:

LOLOLOL

  Lor:

oh man I forgot just HOW MUCH gross there is in this ep

  Mace:

YEP

  Mace:

good thing she got all dolled up in her lingerie for this.

  Mace:

  not creepy at all, lady

  Lor:

right?

  Lor:

so easy to get worm guts out of silk

  Lor:

it's just practical, really

  Mace:

HAHAHA

  Mace:

  EEEEEWWWWW

  Lor:

EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW

  Lor:

"you'd be a doornail right now" HIS IDIOLECT

  Mace:

YEP

  Mace:

  He watched the muppets version every year

  Lor:

YES

  Lor:

"that's a curveball"

  Mace:

HA

  Mace:

  I love the shot through the bottom of the table

  Lor:

YES

  Lor:

HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA DEAN

  Mace:

  FREAKIN WITCHES

  Lor:

YAAAS

  Mace:

“poor little guy"

  Mace:

  omg DEAN

  Lor:

"why's the rabbit always gotta get screwed in the deal? poor little guy"

  Lor:

YES

  Lor:

holds him

  Mace:

  witch on witch violence

  Lor:

the FLIP PHONES. the way they SHUT THEM

  Mace:

YEP

  Mace:

  yeah, Ron, take your misogyny elsewhere

  Lor:

right?

  Lor:

"people don't just spit out their teeth all of a sudden" "uh-mm"

  Mace:

  these ladies are CREEPY

  Lor:

RIGHT?

  Lor:

I was gonna say, "you're a little dicky, Ron, but maybe run? like, don't come back here"

  Mace:

  SNORK

  Lor:

"getting these herbs to grow out of season like this" SAMMY

  Lor:

he's so SMART

  Mace:

Bachman and Turner I LOVE IT

  Mace:

  YES HE IS

  Lor:

YES

  Mace:

  he would SO have an herb garden at the bunker

  Lor:

YES

  Lor:

"but she was an Episcopalian" hahahahaha

  Mace:

  SNORK

  Lor:

"would you like me to spell it for you?" "i'll get by, thanks"

  Mace:

  why would she say her name like that? I mean, just SAY you’re a witch and get it over with

  Lor:

LOOK, LADY. don't be a jerk to Dean

  Lor:

LOL

  Lor:

it's like she thinks it should mean something to him

  Mace:

yeah

  Mace:

  but it just comes off awkward

  Lor:

yeah

  Lor:

and Dean recognizes all those plants

  Lor:

THEY ARE SO SMART

  Mace:

  they are

  Lor:

hahahahaha Sammy saying her name the way she did

  Mace:

YAS

  Mace:

  such snark

  Lor:

"stopped like STOPPED?"

  Mace:

  this whole moral code switching between the two of them is so interesting

  Lor:

his gun don't jam and HIS BABY DON'T STALL

  Mace:

  and also sort of confusing

  Lor:

right?

  Mace:

  omg his “HAHAHAHA right."

  Lor:

yeah

  Lor:

YES

  Lor:

"you mean besides you?"

  Mace:

“put a leash on your brother”

  Mace:

  ooooo

  Lor:

"put a leash on your brother Sam if you want to keep him"

  Lor:

YES

  Lor:

and Dean's FACE

  Mace:

  Dean, slow your roll on the bitch and skank language pls

  Lor:

seriously

  Lor:

we need to have a little talk with him

  Mace:

  we do

  Lor:

mmmm the little snaps on Sam's shirt

  Mace:

  YAS

  Lor:

Dean washes his face!

  Mace:

YES

  Mace:

  those jeans really show off Dean’s adorable bowed legs

  Lor:

Dean's all worried about Sam wanting to kill people

  Lor:

YAAAAS

  Mace:

YEP

  Mace:

  poor Dean has a tummy ache

  Lor:

oooof Sammy

  Lor:

he DOES

  Mace:

  “into you” OOOOF

  Lor:

RIGHT?!

  Mace:

  and the tears in Sammy’s eyes

  Lor:

except Dean is a marshmallow on the inside

  Mace:

  with knives, apparently

  Lor:

I like it a little too much when he's hurting

  Lor:

HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH OMG

  Mace:

YEP

  Mace:

quit. calling. her. bitch. Dean.

  Mace:

  HAHAHAHA OMG RUBY

  Lor:

LOLOL YAS

  Mace:

  I don’t like that I’m pre-quoting her

  Lor:

it's like the only time she gets any points

  Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

  Mace:

HAHAHAHA

  Mace:

  “you’re the short bus”

  Lor:

"you're the shortbus" omg Dean

  Mace:

HAHAHAHAHA

  Mace:

“nice dick work"

  Mace:

  HAHAHAHA

  Lor:

"nice dick work, Magnum" LOLOLOL

  Mace:

  the women’s synchronized gasp

  Lor:

YES

  Lor:

yeah RENEE

                        Mace:

  HAHAHA

  Lor:

"just who did you think you were praying to?" like RIGHT? it's working so what did they think was happening?

  Mace:

  RIGHT?! Dummies.

  Lor:

"you're not our messiah. we don't believe in you"

  Mace:

  I BELIEVE IN YOU SAMMY

  Lor:

ME TOO SAMMY

  Lor:

I mean, I can see him, he's right there

  Mace:

  SNORK

  Lor:

way to save the day, Dean, baby

  Mace:

  HAHAHAHA

  Lor:

Dean mouthing "told you so" haaaaahahahahaha

  Mace:

  right? Now’s not really the time, Dean

  Lor:

right?

  Lor:

but what if they die an it was his only chaaaance?

  Mace:

  HA! true

  Lor:

Abbot and Costello hahahaha

  Lor:

OMG I NEED to see Sam and Dean do who's on first

  Mace:

snork

  Mace:

YES

  Mace:

  hm, I think it would be better with Dean and Cas

  Lor:

OMG YES

  Lor:

DANG Dean, once woulda done, hon

  Mace:

oh Dean, once was prolly enough

  Mace:

  HAHAHA OMG

  Lor:

HAAAAHAHAHAHA

  Mace:

  and now Sam’s washing his face!

  Lor:

yep

  Lor:

ooooof Dean

  Mace:

  yeah

  Lor:

oooof he's trying to joke

  Mace:

  yeah

  Lor:

omg his little nod when she says there's no way to save him

  Mace:

  yeah

  Lor:

he really DOESN'T think he deserves to be saved

  Mace:

yeah

  Mace:

  oooof

                     Lor:

right?

  Lor:

this must have been WILD to watch live

  Mace:

YES