#watching Hilda and the mountain king together probably isn’t helping

[literallyanythingabouteverything]

Does anyone else who’s carried a pregnancy ,and eventually wants to again, get anxious that a second one might be the death of you?

I was so ill, I thought I was going to die once or twice. I thought my kid might die from the stress of it before she was born.

The hormones from the baby made me diabetic. They caused the hyperemesis gravidarum that sent me to the ER multiple times to be given fluids and anti nausea meds through IV’s.

I feel so fucked up with the baby fever rn and the thought of raising a family with my partner being this big golden glow of love is being dulled by the thought of leaving them behind. My partner was there for me during my pregnancy as a friend and I know he’d be loving and supportive throughout it all, but I’m terrified I’ll be as sick as last time or that it could be worse. I don’t want to put the person I love through that. And yet it all feels selfish to want to be a mom again and to see my daughter play with her future sibling(s) even at the expense of my health.

Don’t know why this ramble is getting out here but oh well here it goes