#watched the golden disc awards got emotional about it etc

[jinjjayo]

waugh my gfriend ;u;

[happyqiupill]

A tribute to Kim Jong Hyun (pt. 1)

I never knew I am capable of experiencing this kind of sadness until now. The intense aching in my heart... I don't think I've ever experienced it before. Initially, I tried to repress my emotions because I felt I wasn't hardcore enough a fan to get upset over his passing. But I soon realised that even though I don't know him personally, I don't buy his albums, I don't listen to his songs religiously, he still had a huge impact in my teenage years. For a whole night, it was a hard internal struggle between feeling sad and consciously putting those thoughts away because "I shouldn't be feeling this way". Eventually I came to terms with myself - I am allowed to validate my feelings as a fan, albeit not as hardcore as the rest.


I was introduced to SHINee back in 2010, when Lucifer came out. This was 2 years after they debut = I had 2 years worth of music to catch up on! 😀 Thanks to Youtube (240/480p), I managed to watch all their previous MVs - Replay, Love Like Oxygen, Amigo, Juliette and Ring Ding Dong, Ring Ding Dong was my favourite at that point in time because of its catchy lyrics and beat :")


SHINee then introduced me to the world of Kpop. I started watching music shows (Music Bank, Inkigayo), variety shows (Strong Heart, Star King, Star Golden Bell), Music Awards (Golden Disc Awards, MAMA) mainly because I wanted to see and know more about them. I would type "SHINee variety eng sub" into youtube/google every now and then to catch up on their TV appearances. Along the way, they also got me interested in other Kpop groups - Super Junior, TVXQ, BEAST, 2PM, INFINITE, SISTAR, SNSD, Miss A, etc (mostly boy groups HAHA). So many other groups but SHINee has always been my favourite.


I love SHINee for their catchy songs, powerful dances, amazing visuals and ability to make me laugh. SHINee never failed to make me laugh whenever they appear on TV. Onew as the dubu leader who is known for his love for fried chicken (think SM wanted fans to remember members by these unique traits), Jonghyun as jjong (gosh, jjong felt so long ago), Key as the fashionista diva, Minho as the visual and the flaming charismatic one and Taemin as the pretty boy maknae.


I picked Jonghyun as my favourite without much hesitation, almost like love at first sight. He was the one, in my opinion, with the best features, best body, best voice, best on screen personality, basically the best amongst the rest. It didn't help that he was a popular favourite for many of my friends and I will remember "fighting" over who Jonghyun belongs to.
But I am a very logical person. I know I will never get to know my "oppas" personally and that I will never marry them. I never went for their concerts because I hated the overnight queues and crazy fans. I never bought their albums because I don't listen to CDs. I never supported them monetarily but I always made it a point to promote SHINee to my friends HAHA free advertising for them :')


I have to admit the time spent on SHINee lessened as I grew older. It also didn't help that SHINee was "growing older" (in the kpop scene), SM started focusing on other boy groups (EXO) and the time between their comebacks grew longer and longer. I would only be notified of their comeback when I see their new MV appearing on my Youtube feed. Nonetheless, I still love the kind of music they produced. I really love how they surprise me with every comeback, how they always experiment with different music genres, different concepts and yet still manage to pull it off. I also learnt how to appreciate the precious bond between SHINee members -- how they are the only group with original members, how they know each other well enough to imitate each other (Eric Nam's variety show), how they show up at each other's individual promotions to show support, how they celebrate member's birthdays, etc. I learnt how to be thankful as a fan. I also remember feeling proud of them when I read a comment saying how it is obvious that SHINee always put in their 200% in performances because they are thankful for every chance to perform with the group :')


to be continued.....