#watched most of rivals yesterday with my best friend so life is worth living again

[ace-turned-confused]

wip wednesday thursday

ty @604to647 @sizzlingcloudmentality & @milla-frenchy for tagging me today, and everyone for the tags the past three weeks ❤️

remember when i said this fic was almost done… yeah. see it’s done in my mind, and rn my mind doesn’t wanna put it into words, so… that’s great.

Joel unpacks when you arrive home and leaves Whiskey to rest, heading back into town on foot to catch up on missed work. You figure Mrs. Wilson can make do without you for one more day, so you spend the afternoon stewing, pacing around the house then flopping down on the couch when your legs get tired.

Joel still doesn’t talk about much when he returns in the evening. He stares at his glass, then out the window — it’s too cloudy to stargaze tonight, so he heads off to bed with a sigh. No goodnight sweetheart, no sleep well, no join me in my bed.

Maybe that last one is a stretch, but it would still be a nice gesture. And, naturally, you wouldn’t say no.

You toss and turn that night, confused by Joel’s feelings and your future here, hoping that after a few hours of sleep you’ll wake up with a clearer mind — only you don’t.

npt bc i’m late and been MIA: @sixhours @evolnoomym @almostempty @whocaresstillthelouvre @bitchesuntitled

@clawdee @luxurychristmaspudding @mermaidgirl30 @yxtkiwiyxt @burntheedges & anyone else 💖

[dragonseattofu]

NekuShiki question time! #2 :)

Who said "I love you" first? When?

Do they ever go dancing? How does it go?

Who is more affectionate with the other?

First I love you

The person who I envision to say the first “I love you” in the post-NEO world would be Neku. Pre-NEO I would hands down have thought it would be Shiki, because out of the two I feel like Neku’s more of an awkward sort and wouldn’t know how to put romantic feelings into words. But after NEO I feel like Neku became a little better at conveying his feelings and here’s why:

He watched her exit the elevator. She was talking to someone holding a camera bag, possibly the photographer she had just hired a couple of days ago. He remembered their evening meal yesterday, one he had to pry her away from her work to partake in, relating to her upcoming photoshoot. He learned their usual photographer had double booked and she had to scramble to find a replacement. The replacement looked young, around their age, and seemed to be bowing a goodbye to her before walking towards the exit behind him.

Neku continued to watch her, as she pulled out her phone from her Mr. Mew purse. Shiki tapped furiously at the screen, with speed rivaling Nagi, and seconds later he felt a buzz in his pocket.

After tucking her phone back away, Shiki moved toward the turnstiles situated near the door and finally saw him. It took her a second to overcome the surprise, he didn’t tell her that he was coming to pick her up, but she immediately brightened as she walked toward him at a steadfast pace.

How many days, months, years had he waited and hoped for to see a sight like this? To feel like this? Like his chest tightening in anticipation of her being in his arms, his cheeks warming at her smiling at him for simply … existing? How long had he spent thinking about the life he could have had with his friends, with her?

When Neku was dropped into the Shinjuku UG, he went into shock. Why? Why was he back when he was banned from ever playing the game again? He had just gotten his life back. He finally didn’t feel so alone in the vast seas of Shibuya.

But then he got shot … again.

His cynical side thought, maybe this was his retribution. He didn’t deserve friends, not after what he did to him…

But then he remembered them, and what they had all said to him.

“Let me in! Tell me what you're thinking!”

“Give up on yourself, and you give up on the world.”

“You're not my partner anymore man, you're... my friend. So trus' that yo!”

Come on, work with us. A problem shared is a problem halved!

And then he could have sworn he heard her…

“You finally came back to us … I knew you would.”

“I’m so happy you're back, Neku.”

He didn’t remember her saying that to him, but it wasn’t the first time he felt like he saw things that haven’t happened yet, things that could happen if he played his cards right. Visions of a future that gave him some … hope.

Every battle he fought, every new area he stumbled into, every floating thought he passed, all led to this hope that he would get back to his friends.

When he wasn’t fighting to survive, or when Coco was standing watch so he could rest, he thought about them. Was Beat skipping classes still? Was Rhyme learning how to do those ollies Beat was trying to teach her. Was Shiki … was Shiki hanging out with Eri right now? Was she fixing a stitch on Mr. Mew? Did she miss him, the same way he missed her?

His time in the RG after playing three weeks in the reapers game was short, but nothing less than wonderful. Shiki and Neku went on a couple outings together, just the two of them when the Bito siblings had family errands. It started out a little awkward, especially when familiar restaurant and store keepers thought they were an item already. A specific ramen owner was the worst of them all even though his teasing came from a place of fondness for the pair.

Without him realizing, being with Shiki was almost as natural as breathing, and every moment he spent with her was fun, interesting, precious to him.

Neku didn’t get the time he needed to work out how important Shiki was to him before being plunged into the Shinjuku UG, but three years of company to only the disembodied thoughts of lost souls and an occasional “fairy” reaper gave him the opportunity to delve into it. The conclusion he reached gave him the motivation to keep fighting, to keep surviving. For once, he had someone worth living for.

“Earth to Neku?” Shiki waved her hands in front of his face.

He blinked, bringing himself back to the present. Shiki stood on her toes, trying to look at his face underneath his overgrown bangs. He felt her touch his cheek, concern marring her adorable face.

He hates that he brought so much strain to her life. Maybe she could have been happier with someone else, someone who wouldn’t break their promise to go shopping the next day and abruptly disappear.

But then she smiled at him, having noticed that he simply zoned out. And all of a sudden his negativity stopped spiralling and he felt grounded again. He may not feel like he deserved her, but she chose him nonetheless.

She chose to never give up on him, that he would survive the ordeal he was thrust into. She chose to be the best version of herself that she could be while she waited for him.

And then even after all that time had passed, she still chose to be with him.

Neku didn’t know if there was a word that encompassed the overwhelming emotion he felt whenever he thought of Shiki. One certainly felt close enough though.

“Hey Shiki?” He asked, putting his larger hand over her smaller one that lingered on his cheek.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he said that to anyone, if he did at all. Even though Neku had told Shiki almost immediately after his arrival in the RG that he wanted to be more than friends, he hadn’t used that word before. Love was still such a foreign concept that he wasn’t sure he understood it completely, but if there was anyone in the whole world he could associate love with, it would be Shiki.

Shiki’s hand on his face stiffened at the sudden confession. For a hot second, maybe it wasn’t the time or place she expected him to say it. He felt a slight panic from the doubt of her not reciprocating his feelings.

But those thoughts were quickly thrown out when she leaned in and kissed him.

It was a kiss longer than they had ever shared before. She was physically telling him something, but he was a little preoccupied to fully process anything. Shiki pulled away, far quicker than Neku would have liked, carrying the sweetest grin he ever saw on her.

“I love you too, Neku.”

Dancing

Shiki would have this fancy company dinner that she’d have to go to for networking. As friendly as Shiki is, she’s still introverted and the whole event just sounds utterly exhausting. Neku would be her plus one, because even if that’s the last place he would rather be, he’s her partner, and that’s that. She gets well enough along with everyone, but she has to make the rounds and greet everybody, leaving Neku alone at times. Thankfully Eri’s also there, and the girls take turns between networking and keeping Neku company. He surprises both of them when the head designer for Jupes notices Neku’s deep purple button down shirt from Jupes under a Gatto Nero’s half grey plaid - half black solid blazer (it’s visually better in my head than what I just described), and wants to talk to the designer of the jacket. Neku goes full endorsing mode for his girlfriend, and smiles smug when the girls realize they didn’t need to worry about him, much less securing a major deal with a major brand for a collaboration. He’s pretty happy with himself when he hears a version of Someday play on the surround sound. The dance floor opens up, and a couple of people start a waltz.

Neku thinks to himself, it’s an odd thing to have a dance in the middle of a company dinner, but dinners in the fashion industry are often hosted by the most eccentric of people, and he supposes it’s not so peculiar after all.

The melody plays soft and slow, and if he’s honest with himself, it’s a pretty good rendition of one of his favorite songs. He sees Shiki from the corner of his eye, silently asking her to dance as he extends his hand out. She’s surprised at the gesture. Neku’s many things, but dancer’s not one of them. The exaggerated kicks he’s so fond of are sort of hard to move elegantly in. A simple slow dance, he thinks, is enough for him to handle. Her thin finger slipped effortlessly into his hand.

More affectionate

Post-NEO, I feel that both are pretty affectionate toward one another, but in different ways. Shiki’s more physically affectionate, she’s more of a hugger and is always holding his hand, or his clothes, just so she can feel that he’s there. He doesn’t initiate physical touch as often as she does, but he never let’s go, or moves away from it. This happens more naturally as they start dating, snuggles and such.

Neku’s more affectionate verbally. He’s gotten comfortable saying what’s on his mind more often. He’s not shy about complimenting her, she doesn’t need his reassurances but his opinion is important to her nonetheless. He’s a natural flirt; says things that would be considered suave without intention. He would say pick up lines without realizing that they were pick up lines.

Okay, so I’m like not really sure how best to put my thoughts together but here goes:

The Shibuya and Twister kiddos would all be at some fashion function, and the Fret and Beat would comment on how attractive some of the models are. Neku would just be like, “yeah, they are attractive, but they aren’t as beautiful as Shiki.” Him referring to how much he loves her appearance as well as her personality, whereas he knows nothing about these girls so all he is going on is their looks.

And of course Shiki, who has pins in her mouth and is trying to get her models ready, hears this. Her jaw loosens and the pins fall on the floor. She’s essentially flushed and flabbergasted, by what he said and how nonchalant he said it. He looks at her like he said nothing wrong. Then he just smiles at her, and she just stutters out curse words. She doesn’t have time for this.

Notes: I’m so sorry for the late reply. I’m such a slow thinker and writer! But thanks again for the ask! The first prompt sort of snowballed. Hope you like it! @doesitringabell, I added a collection on Ao3 dedicated to you for any/all other prompts that end up longer than I had anticipated. Check out the source content.

Also sorry for any typos and such, let me know if you spot any. If anyone is still interested in my rambling mess of Neshiki fanfics/ficlets, don’t hesitate to send me more asks! It might take a while, but just know that my moments of silence are just me tinkering with ideas (writing something, hating it, revising it, writing again, rinse, repeat, then screw this, just take it.)

[fluffy-lee-boa]

Arkham’s Sweetheart and the Grumpy Riddle Bug

a batman rogue ticklefic uwu

A/N: hey everyone!!! this took me a bit, but it kinda got away from me and turned into a little story of its own haha. i wrote this with the animated universe in mind, but honestly i think it’ll work with a few.

anyways, this was a request! lee!edward getting ganged up on by ler!harley and ler!pamela. hope you like it!!!

It was rare that anyone in Arkham would be such a ray of sunshine, being the drab and dank place that it is, but Harley Quinn was definitely the exception. Despite her treatment at the hands of guards, her clown of an ex, and the bat alike, she was always surprisingly upbeat as she passed through the halls of the facility, hands cuffed behind her back.

Her cheery attitude didn’t exactly mesh with her fellow rogues, though none of them were immune to her disarming charms. This meant that the room full of murderers and scoundrels all took pause when she entered, giving her soft smiles or begrudging greetings as she went ahead to settle into the rec room.

Well, all but one person.

Edward Nashton, or Nygma, as he had legally changed it to, was not exactly chipper on this stormy day- not that he was ever “chipper.” It’s just that today he seemed more put off than usual, based on the way he was stewing in the corner. There was an abandoned chessboard on the table beside him, likely from Jervis or Jonathan having grown frustrated with his attitude mid-game. It wasn’t uncommon, though it did present a challenge to the doctor as she assessed the situation.

Edward was one of her closest friends. It would be a crime not to help him out! He obviously needed someone there to cheer him up, for whatever reason, and who better than the sweetheart of Arkham herself?

(No, not Ivy. She was currently busy by the window, gardening. Though Harley was sure she could get her to help out if necessary.)

“Hey Eddie~!” She cooed as she skipped over and took the seat across from him, giving that same magical smile.

Edward gave her a half-hearted, “Quinn.” not even looking up from the floor.

Hmph. This was worse than she thought!

“What’s got ya so wound up today, hon?” she asked, a bit of her professionalism seeping through from her days as a staff member in this same institution.

He raised an eyebrow at her, before staring back at the ground with a rather childish, “You just wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.” she deadpanned, leading to her fellow inmate to purse his lips.

Edward knew that Harley was not somebody to underestimate. While Joker had tossed her aside and treated her like a jockey, he could tell she was much more intelligent than she let on. She was also stubborn- Which meant there wasn’t much of a chance of him getting out of this without telling her the truth.

He sighed, finally looking directly at her as he laid his chin in his hands, “It’s Batman. I’m sure you’re aware I was only just sent back here yesterday... I have reason to believe he’s found someone else to antagonize. Why won’t he realize that I’m the only one in this city who’s worthy of being his equal...?”

Harley blinked, a part of her tempted to admit that pretty much everyone but him knew he was a second tier villain at best. Though she knew how fragile the other’s ego was, and what he really needed right now was moral support. Like a break up! He’d been there for her when she went through her messy separation, albeit with his usual awkward stoniness, so it was only right that she return the favor.

“Aw, come on Ed. He’s not worth your time.” she waved her hand dismissively, “If anything, he should be locked up in here with us! He’s no better than... Jonathan! Just using fear to escape a lonely life and exert some sort of sick power over others.”

From the couch across the room, Crane looked up from his book, unimpressed. Clearly, he wanted no part of this.

Harley gave an awkward laugh and wave to her old professor, before turning back to Edward, “-Either way, I think you could do better.”

Edward raised an eyebrow, “...Really?”

She nodded, swinging her legs excitedly, “Yeah! Once we bust outta here, we should get you on some dating apps. Maybe go to a few Comic Cons. There’s gotta be someone out there who’s just as nerdy as you-!” she giggled as she poked him in the shoulder teasingly, watching the other puff up defensively.

“I don’t need a partner! I need a rival to sharpen my wits. I just- I want him to see that we’re the same. Is that too much to ask?” Edward snapped, pouting once more.

Harley’s smile faded for a moment, and she seemed to think for a moment, “....Get up.”

“What?” Edward seemed baffled at the sudden order, especially coming from her.

“Stand up! I wanna try somethin’!” She beamed, motioning for the other to get out of his chair. At this point, most of the other inmates were busy in their own little worlds, though a few took notice when Nygma stood. Especially since Harley looked so unnervingly excited.

Quinn walked over with a rather threatening look in her eye, hidden by her giddy smile, “Ok, now put your hands up.”

He hesitated, leading to a gentle, “Come on~! I’m not gonna hurt ya!”

Edward nervously raised his arms above his head, his baggy uniform falling over his slender form due to weeks of avoiding meals. He’d probably been up for days, based on his demeanor. He really put his whole heart and soul into this rivalry, Harley thought.

These small details of the other’s appearance only spurred on the psychiatrist as she stalked around him like a predator, deciding she knew exactly what she had to do. Then, when she was sure he wouldn’t expect it, Harley clamped down under his arms, wiggling her fingers against his skin through the loose fabric. In her opinion, laughter was the best medicine, and if Eddie was going to hold back like that, she certainly wasn’t.

If no one had been paying attention to them before, Edward sharp yelp would have tipped everybody off. He immediately brought his arms back down with a strangled giggle, doing his best to shoot Harley a look as she continued with her hands wedged under his arms.

She merely laughed along in response, cooing, “Awh Eddie, you’re so cute when you’re laughing like this. Kitchy koo~!”

“Harleen!” he hissed through gritted teeth, his cheeks already a bright red color as he tried to squirm free of her grasp.

After a moment he managed to pull away and get those blasted fingers out from his hollows- only for his arm to once again by suspended above him by some unidentifiable force. He looked up in horrified confusion, only to find thick vines wrapped around each wrist, holding him up like he was the catch of the day at Gotham Harbor..

“ISLEY!”

The purring voice of the botanist did nothing to soothe his flustered anger as she appeared beside her current partner in crime, “Yes, Edward...?”

Eddie bit down on his cheek to keep himself from bursting into laughter from the light yet overwhelming sensations, leading to his fiery responses being entirely silenced. Harley had barely even let up while the fiendish red-head had done her work, her fingers now trailing up his biceps and back down just to make him jump.

“Look Eddie, we just wanna help ya! Now, be a good little gigglebug and laugh.” Harley gave her victim an evil smirk, before moving down to dig into his prominent ribs.

Edward immediately acted like all the air had been sucked from his lungs, before he finally fell into real, authentic laughter. It was honestly a marvel that no guard had come to check on the group yet, considering how noisy they’d become both from Edward’s current predicament, and the snickers of onlookers.

His laugh was more sweet and melodic than most people would think, and it was almost bouncy as he squirmed around. It sounded much more innocent than the man who was behind it.

“C’mon Eddie, that’s it,” Pamela hummed as she stepped around him, obviously enjoying watching the other get so flustered. His cheeks heated up as she fluttered her leaves and flower petals across his neck from the greenery continuing to hold him up, affectively turning his mind to mush.

“Youhou’re both dEAHAHAEEEE-!” Edward’s final attempt at a threat fell off into a squeal when Harley suddenly moved down to his hip bones with her own sporadic movements, making him buck as he tried to pull his arms free.

“Jackpot!” Harley sang, focusing all her attention on the dips and protruding bone. She was pure evil alright.

Edward’s squealing soon tapered off into begging and hiccuping giggles as he slowly lost his energy, all of which were practically indecipherable anyways, “Harleen! Pleaseheheheease-! Noho-!”

Harley hesitated, making an over-exaggerated face as if contemplating something grand, “Mmm... I don’t think you’re all cheered up yet...”

“I aham Ihihihiamm-!!!” He wheezed, his laughter starting anew as Quinn moved up a little to trace at his sides.

Harley and Ivy shared a look, and Harley eventually shrugged, slowing her movements to a stop. He’d had enough for the day.

Edward immediately sunk to the floor as Ivy’s vines guided him in a manner that would keep him from injuring himself, and soon the green weeds bloomed flowers to serve as a sort of mattress for the man to rest on. He continued giggling airily from the leftover ghost tickles and slight movements of the flora, the two watching. him curiously. Eventually he looked up at the both of them with a more genuine, honestly pretty cheesy smile.

There’s the Edward they knew and loved!

Harley was the first to react, per usual. She squealed excitedly and went to tackle him in a hug, which he begrudgingly returned as Ivy sat down cross legged beside them on their living carpet. The rest of the rogues had gone back to their own business, leaving the three to their own devices now that Edward had been so fiercely pulled out of his funk.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Edward spoke up with a surpassingly shy, “Er... thank you. Both. I needed that. Even if it was insufferable, it was... nice.”

Harley simply hummed happily and hugged him tighter, while Ivy was left to wave him off. He made Harley happy, so he was clearly worth their time.

Harley remained cuddled up between the two indefinitely after it was all said and done, rambling on about nothing in particular and helping get Ed’s mind off of the Bat for once in his life. And after recreational hours were done? She would get Edward to a meal and help him get back to his feet before their next breakout and/or parole hearing. And even if she acted aloof, Ivy would be with them every step of the way.

[quenbyleth]

The Sleeping Professor: Fire Emblem/Sleeping Beauty AU

If you saw my picture, you know the story. I drew that thinking I wouldn’t write this. But, here we are I guess. Without further ado, here is, as described before, the Sleeping Beauty AU, (BL Route) which asks a couple questions:

What if Byleth doesn’t wake up?

What if she’s found right away and hidden away, waiting to be awakened? (Which could make this..... Fire Emblem: Awakening 😎)

==================

Ugh, what was that feeling? She felt like She was hit by a ton of bricks..... or maybe SHE was the one who hit a ton of bricks......? Who cares. Somehow, She felt sore. And sleepy. So very sleepy. Nothing new there. She was always sleepy, but....... somehow it was more so this time. Maybe She could sleep a bit longer, I’m sure they could both use.......

Oh, yes, how could She forget? How could She forget the poor, simple child, who needed Her constant guidance. How very sad. Ugh, where was the child? She could feel her, but the connection was weak and...... how, how, HOW can She be feeling pain? She possessed no body of her own, and had combined with the foolish girl. She should feel nothing.... That very feeling caused Her to become aware of Her surroundings. Very aware. Aware that darkness surrounded Her in this.... cavern, the only light source miles away above..... No, not a cavern. The bottom of a canyon, with what looked like a rockslide that took place. She shivered, for it reminded Her of a tomb, and She had already spent an uncomfortable amount of time in one already. But how did She......? Oh yes, that’s right, the young one ran, a lion prince screaming her name, as she ran towards a very Immaculate One and..... oh, how foolish. How very foolish. How many times had She lectured this young one about NOT putting them in danger? She was the goddess in the equation! The very fact she hadn’t killed herself yet was only by Her divine intervention, surely. Oh yes, when She found this foolish, no, COMPLETELY IGNORANT GIRL, she would get a most severe lashing-.

But wait, where was she? Surely she couldn’t be far....

Oh. Oh no.

There she was, debris lightly covering her small frame. Her limbs were laying on the bigger rocks, splayed about as if someone discarded an old doll. Green, minty hair was covered in dust, and had light splashes of red in it. Her face was undisturbed, as if she were sleeping peacefully, which Sothis would have believed if the blood trickling from her nose and the dirt covering her face didn’t exist. The Sword of the Creator laid in her hand, somehow undamaged by the fall.

The pain was immense, that much Sothis knew. She may have missed having a body, but ouch.... not like this. She never felt what Byleth felt before. She watched the scrapes, the wounds, and had only shared a headache with her. How could She feel this now..... was it because her connection was continuously weaker.....?

It dawned on her. Byleth was dying. She was dying, and Sothis was taking over.

No. Nonononono. She refused. She couldn’t. This child was meant to live. Not for Her. Not for anyone. But what could She do? It wasn’t that She could shout, the only one who could hear Her was not long for this world. She couldn’t get up and run, again, different situation, same problem. Ohhh, what to do....?

Well, if She combined with her once, surely She’d have to do it again. That would surely solve things. Sure, Byleth would sleep for.... awhile. But what’s 100 years or so? Surely her friends would end this war. It had just started, sure, but surely it would end..... at some point. Byleth’s Blue Lions were strong. How could they not be, the class nearly tripled its size.... huh, maybe she was accurate to call claim she was the favorite teacher. And if she’s was anyone’s favorite, it would surely be that charming prince. The looks exchanged between the two were proof of that. Oooh, She did love to tease Byleth of her little infatuation with Dimitri....

Sothis smiles sadly to Herself. When they combine again, Sothis will truly be gone. There’s no hiding away this time. She would cease to exist, to be a simple memory in the minds of all Fodlan....

But She was ready. They needed this coddled child more than Her. She had made peace with this long ago. She smirked.

“Heh, some might say that you’re more trouble than your worth.... and they’re absolutely right,” as she spoke, Byleth glowed with a soft, divine light, illuminating the area. Sothis felt Herself fade, feeling the most drowsy She’d ever felt, “but this war torn land will need your guidance one day. Lead them well.... but know this. You will sleep for a very, very long time. Your body needs to recover. And the only way.... for you to.... *yawn*.... wake...... is for the one who needs you most..... to come and awake y-you..... w-*yawn* with.............”

Sothis’ head fell limp as she combined with Byleth for the final time, her mind feeling numb, like she was falling to the deepest of sleep.......

===================

“Flayn, I know you’re desperate, but this is completely unsafe! We’ll come back when it’s safer.”

“Absolutely not, brother! I owe he Professor my life, it is my duty to make sure she is safe! You may leave, but I will not!”

Seteth grumbled lightly as he followed his.... sister into the depths of the canyon. Rhea has disappeared after the battle yesterday, along with Byleth, but Flayn’s sharp eyes saw Byleth fall here. Add the fact that Garreg Mach was crawling with Imperial forces, and you’ve got one dangerous rescue mission that Flayn was determined to complete.

“Flayn, it’s not too late to turn back. I too feel like I’m in the Professor’s debt, but this is madness! And, however grievous this may sound, the chance they survived is-“

Flayn turned quickly and eyed him with a very serious look, “Do not finish that thought. If it were any other being, I would agree,” she turned and continued on her quest, “but the professor is not ordinary. You know this as well Brother.”

“*sigh* yes, yes, of course. But at least promise me-“

He was cut off by a glow in a far-ish distance. He and Flayn didn’t even give it a second thought as they ran towards it, and why wouldn’t they? It’s not hard to guess who would give off such a holy light.

It took a bit longer than normal to reach their destination, with tons of rocks (and a couple corpses) littering the way, but it turned out that Flayn’s mission was a success when they reached the sleeping Professor. Flayn squealed with a mixture of joy and worry as she ran to Byleth’s side, wiping her bloody nose and checking her for serious wounds, but....

“B-brother, I know the professor had a.... unique heartbeat, but she is now lacking a pulse as well....”

Seteth shook his head and picked her up bridal style, “Fear not Flayn. I know this looks bad, but she isn’t dead. She’s in a very deep stasis. Even deeper than the one you were in. Besides,” he started backtracking, back through the same secret route they had used to get here, “she breathes. Slowly, but she is breathing. This is the work of the Goddess, no doubt.”

Seteth and Flayn brought Byleth back to a cabin, and waited out the Imperial forces. Flayn had healed any minor wounds Byleth had and patched up her clothing, to the point were it seemed she hadn’t just gone through a battle. All the while, Flayn watched for even the smallest sign that she would wake. A twitch of an eyelid. The slightest movement of a finger. Something.

But it wasn’t meant to be.

Seteth had kept her presence a secret. Not even the Knights of Seiros knew that the professor they searched for was right there. And Seteth knew it had to be this way. If Edelgard found out that the professor everyone looked to for guidance was in her current state, she’d attack once again. No, this was a secret that he and Flayn would have to keep tight lipped..... and hidden elsewhere. It would be hard to keep said secret if he traveled with THE secret. And it didn’t take him long to know where...

The Imperials had abandoned Garreg Mach after 2 weeks. The Knights of Seiros had disappeared, Claude went to the Alliance, and the Blue Lions scattered, with their leader being arrested by the Empire. Garreg Mach was now home to thieves and other scavengers. However, one of Garreg Mach’s best kept secrets was the entrance to the Holy Tomb. No one but he and Rhea knew how to open it. After all, Edelgard was only able to attack when it was opened. And who would think to look for a comatose girl in a tomb?

So, one night, when the thieves who resided there were passed out drunk, Seteth and Flayn made their way to the entrance with relative ease and made the slow descent to what was once Sothis’...

The tomb remained as it always was, a serene holy place. The difference being that by some strange magic, Sothis’ throne was replaced by a strange stone altar, which when Byleth was laid on it, fit her perfectly. Seteth was fine with leaving her as is, but Flayn wouldn’t have it. She adjusted her clothes to flow on the stone naturally, as well as her hair, so every strand looked perfect. And after placing her hands on her stomach, Flayn was satisfied by her work.

“See Brother? Now she looks like a picture-perfect goddess.”

“Lovely. Now, we must leave. She will be safe here, I promise.”

“I know......,” she turned once more to Byleth, not knowing the next time she could see her face, “sleep well Professor. One day, our class will reunite, and you will have come back to us. We..... we will be a family again. I look forward to that day.”

On that fateful night, Seteth sealed the Holy Tomb, which now housed a sleeping maiden, with powers to rival the Goddess. No one knew this secret, save for a pair of “siblings”.... as well as two other saints, who had long abandoned civilization. They felt their Mother’s power flow even more into this maiden, and knew that their Mother was permanently gone. They did not know where she lay, but that she was hidden, somewhere. Waiting to be awoken. And that day would come. The day would come where a random thief would come to steal their relic, and that he wouldn’t leave a physical treasure, but a knowledgeable one. That a real treasure lay in wait, one more beautiful than any gem, gold piece, or rare weapon.....

But not anytime soon.

======================

Dimitri was chained to the wall of his cell, injured and, somewhat...... eyeless on one side. He felt like a feral animal that was locked away, waiting to be put down. He grit his teeth, feeling hopeless and vengeful. Edelgard has gone too far. As if she hadn’t already! She.... she killed his father... her own mother! And now, she even took his beloved professor away. No, just beloved. She was gone, and now... his father and mother clawed at his skull, demanding her head. Why hadn’t he killed her already? Why had he grown to be such a failure? Glenn could’ve done it by now. He would’ve tore down the entire Empire, but he died. Died for a boar that couldn’t live up to these expectations.

These were the thoughts that tormented him each night, making sleep beyond his reach. And then...

Lambert and Patricia stood above him, hurling their usual insults his way when, but all of a sudden... silence. They suddenly backed away....

And there she was. Wind blowing through her mint hair. Her emerald eyes focused on him. Her boots hardly making a sound as she slowly walked toward him, her face as neutral as always. When she finally reached him, she knelt down to him, to the point that he almost smelled her favorite perfume.

“Dimitri....”

“Prof-.” She put her finger to his lips, hushing him.

“Oh Dimitri, I think we’re past the formalities. I know how you felt about me, surely you know I felt about you?”

She slowly removed her finger, and Dimitri slowly found his voice again.

“.....Byleth..... beloved....”

Satisfied, she cupped her hands around his face, slowly hovering above where his eye used to be.

“This.... is not your fault. You didn’t kill me.... Edelgard did. She took your eye, and she took me away from you. It’s not your fault... but what will you do about it?”

Dimitri’s face become very angry, looking his now lost love in the face.

“I...... I WILL remove her head from her shoulders. I will do it in your name. And I will kill anyone who gets in me way. This.... this I promise to you beloved.”

She smiled at his promise, the one she gave only him. He felt his heart beat at this smile and could’ve swore he felt a very slight kiss on his lips, waking up his feral side again.

“I’m very glad to hear this. Once her head is gone, we will be able to rest. And then I can wait for you in peace, and when you come back to me, we will be together for eternity,” as she said this, she hugged his head, so he could hear her heartbeat, lulling him to his first night of sleep in a long while, “but remember, this can only happen if she dies.”

==============

==============

Oooh wow, I just did that. I actually wrote something. This happened.

It’s been years since I’ve written something. YEARS. I’m.... really happy to be back writing. It feels great!

So, this isn’t going to be 20 chapters long or anything. I’m going to skip over things. But I hope you find some enjoyment in this!

[isitandwonder]

And Then We Danced

And Then We Danced is a Georgian-Swedish queer movie directed by Levan Akin that premiered at Cannes this year and won hugh praise. It has been to some other festivals since and will be the Swedish contender for the Foreign Language Oscar. I watched it yesterday at my local queer film festival.

What a movie! I’d seen the trailer and read some reviews and interviews with the cast so I was already hyped. And I didn’t get disappointed.

What is it about? Merad is a young dancer training with the Georgian National Ensemble. It’s not Ballet they perform but traditional Georgian dance, a very formal, rigid, controlled form of dancing, following strict rules. There’s not much room for free expression in it, it’s more about executing the figures as exactly as possible. Still, it has a powerful aura. Men are told to dance ‘masculine’, strong, while women are to dance as innocent as possible (something that makes the dancers laugh). As the teacher says ‘There’s no sexuality in Georgian dance.’

Merab has been teamed with his female partner Mari since he was 10. He can’t live on dance, this is not a happy dance movie just about rivalry in a company, he has to work as a waiter in the evening, bringing home left-overs to his family so they can get by. His mother had been a  dancer too but now drinks and works at a shop. His father had also been a famous dancer but has left the family and now works on a market, selling scrap metal and car parts. Even Merab’s grandmother who shares the family flat had been a dancer. Later we learn that they all danced at the Scala, the Met, the Royal Albert Hall when on tour with the Ensemble. Yet nothing of that fleeting fame staid or got them anywhere.

Merab also has an older brother who also dances but doesn’t take it that serious. He’s a bit of the black sheep of the family, going out partying all night. The family dynamic seems somewhat difficult but also affectionate.

Just when a vacancy comes up at the first ensemble (because one principal dancer had been kicked out because he was discovered having had sex with another man), the one that tours Europe and could mean at least making some money, Irakli, a new dancer, shows up. He’s talented but also somewhat nonconformist, wearing an earring for example. Merab quickly determines that he will be his biggest rival to get into the main company.

They have one very intense dance scene together in which they both try to impress the other but also are suddenly in perfect harmony.

Merab is fascinated by Irakli. And he’s smart. So he suggests they train together, to learn from the best, to push each other. One night, they all hang out together with their friends and in the morning Merab and Irakli have breakfast at Irakli’s and Merab is really reluctant to leave.

There are glances, touches, but it can all still be summed up as just being bros.

The next weekend they all spend at the summer house of Mari, Merab’s dance partner. There are girls and boys and they party and get drunk. Mari makes a shy pass at Merab but instead he wanders off into the woods where he finds Irakli, alone.

God, the tension! They end up giving each other a handjob (you don’t see much but it’s pretty clear and must be quite explicit by Georgian standards). It’s not so much about the sex act, anyway, it’s about the desperation with which both finally succumb to the ever building desire between them.

The next day, Merab is somewhat unsure how to go about things but then Irakli dances with him again and all seems fine. In the evening, Merab dances for Irakli, and it’s one of the most erotic moments I’ve seen in a while. Merab teases and taunts and is quite beguiling in this movements, it’s beautiful to watch.

Later that night, they have sex again, and this time the visuals provided are a little more explicit. When they return to the house afterwards, Mari realizes that something is going on.

Merab is so in love the next days, radiant with love, relaxed, happy. He’s to meet Irakli for training, and on the bus there even smiles at a beautiful boy.

But then Irakli doesn’t show up and doesn’t answer his phone.

Merab tries to find him and learns that he’s left Tiflis. No one knows if he’ll come back. Then Merab loses his job because of his brother. Then his brother is also kicked off the Ensemble. Merab doesn’t even have any money on his phone left. He’s utterly lost.

But then he meets the boy from the bus again by chance and they go clubbing and Merab discovers that there is a gay scene in Tiflis - but it exists on the fringes of society, in dark clubs, and many lgbtq folks have to prostitute themselves to get by. Yet he learns that he’s not alone and is welcomed into this scene with open arms.

But all this excitement, the emotional rollercoaster, his inner turmoil and his very real life problems, take their toll on him. He injures himself during training. And a fellow dancer has seen him at the gay club and outs him in front of his friends, calling him a fag. Merab’s devastated, still tries to dance but even that seems taken from him due to his injury. Has he lost everything?

Then Merab learns that his brother has knocked up a girl and has to marry her now. The affair is traditional and not very happy but at the party afterwards Merab meets Irakli again. Who tells him that he also will get married, because of his family, because he’s not that into dance as Merab is, because he just wants a good, stable life.

In a last gesture, Merab hands him his earring back that he’d found after training and kept as a token of their love ever since.

When I saw Merab sit on a bed afterwards, slumping down, crying, I thought, ‘well, yeah, another queer movie with unhappy ending’... what had I expected within this setting? But then... oh, folks!

First, Mari tells Merab that she understands him and accepts him. Then Merab comes out to his brother, who got into a fight at his own wedding to defend Merab’s honor as someone calls him a fag again. When Merab doesn’t deny it his brother hugs him tightly but also tells him that he has to get out of Georgia, that he doesn’t have a future there.

Then it’s the day of the audition for the first company. Irakli doesn’t show. But Mari supports Merab, who’s still injured. He can’t perform at his best and so the director of the first company wants to end his audition early - but Merab refuses to leave. The musicians play on and he dances, even as his ankle starts bleeding. He’s graceful, powerful, mesmerizing - but he doesn’t confirm to the stirct rules of Georgian dance anymore, his movements become softer, beguiling, erotic, lascivious, yet stay strong, precise. He creates something new there, something unique, his own dance. His trainer realizes that and lets him finish even after the director has left.

Irakli walks out, head held high, proud, in pain but also undefeated. He won’t get into the first company. But he found his own way, his own language, his own dance, he didn’t hide who he is - and you know that he’ll at least be true to himself, whereever and at what cost. This is such a powerful, hopeful, strong ending without being saccarine or soppy.

The movie looks very lush, set in Tiflis’ old town. But it’s not a touristy set design, trying to lure you to spend your bext holiday there. We see the peeling paint, the gloominess, we also see ugly concrete tenements. It feels very real.

And the music and choreographies! I didn’t know much about this kind of dance but it is marvelous, amazing, beautiful.

The actors are magnificent. Esp Levan Gelbakhiani as Merab, who acts so nuanced, subtle, but is also a great dancer. You can read every emotion on his face. What a discovery!

There re some cmbyn moments, for example when Merab sucks the cross he wears on a chain around his neck into his mouth; the way he gazes at himself in a mirror; him running around just in shorts in the old summer house. He’s also a boy, like Elio, with a somewhat unusual obsession (in his case dance, not the piano). But where cmbyn created an idyll removed from reality, without any real life problems, ATWD incorporates those into the story: many people are poor, work numerous jobs and still don’t get anywhere, there’s homophobia all around, church and traditions threaten to suffocate society and esp the young generation. Still, the movie manages to end so hopeful, making such a strong statement, even hinting at the possibility of gwrowing acceptance for queer people in Georgian society. This movie is more than ‘just’ a beautiful love affair as it tries to bring different traditions together and asks for acceptance.

Please, if you can, watch this movie! It’s important and so worth it!

[thecandywrites]

Isthantari- The Series Part 1

And we’re back with more Jika! So, because I am super awkward, I ended the Isthantari story the way I did because I was trying to invite anyone who wanted their own date with a Jika to tell me so I could write that and @wolfofbluestardust was the first to take me up on my offer. So here we are! So this is her OC Lenora who is a pastry chef and owns her own bakery/pastry shop. And her own Jika- Jabari, who is awkward, pessimisstic and shy and Lenora is loud, bold and a hopeless romantic. Forbidden romance with a prince? Check. Sweet and fluffy overload? Check. Love at first scent? Double check. Awkwardness? QUADRUPLE CHECK. Lets do this!

And if anyone else wants one of these, message me.

Isthantari- Jabari and Lenora

“Thank you so much for doing this.” Sable thanked you as Jaxon and his brother Jabari carried in cases of the Jika fruits into your pastry shop.

“You’re welcome, I’m excited, so what do I need to do to them?” You posed curiously as you looked the fruits over curiously.  

“Well they’ve already been frozen and thawed so they’ll be sweet for you so you don’t need to do much else. I’m really excited to see what you’ll be able to do with them.” Sable beamed happily as she arranged one of everything onto a long counter with a set of tools to open the fruits so that you could try them yourself, grinning when you ‘oohed’ at the different flavors as your brain kicked into overdrive as you quickly wrote out what your inspiration was telling you to do with them.

“Well give me a few days at least to play with these and see what I can do, but right off the top of my head, macaroons and cupcakes, with this as a filling or to flavor buttercream frosting.” You suggested.

“I was thinking the same thing. Well, if you can’t get a hold of me you can tell Jabari because he’s been put in charge of getting the produce to earth chefs and he’s also in charge of pricing. I can already tell you, this one will probably be pretty expensive because a giant tree only grows one seed pod, granted that pod has over a thousand seeds but you only get one pod a season. So I’m still working on trying to see if I can cross breed it to either get bigger pods or more pods per tree. But the fruit around the seed is literally the blue raspberry flavor a lot of candy has and the seed to me is a cross between a macadamia and a cashew.” Sable explained as you bit into the fruit and felt your knees go weak and ate the rest of the fruit before biting into the seed in the middle.

“I see what you mean by the macadamia nut but I’m getting hints of Brazil nut too.” You pointed out as Sable tried it again.

“Yeah, you’re right, Brazil nut. The nuts I think would be good dipped in chocolate or perhaps into a baklava or something.” Sable mused as you nodded in agreement to that and wrote that down too.

You and Sable had been friends for a long time, you had become a pastry chef and owned your own bakery but because Sable was a friend of yours and her inter-galactic and inter-species connections meant that you were usually her go-to person to see if alien foods would be palatable or be made palatable for humans and as a bonus, you were also who a lot of aliens like to come to for sweets that were for them a taste of home. And when aliens got married, you were their go to for wedding cakes in flavors that were literally other worldly, you had alien staff that helped you with flavors and styles that were even a hit with the humans.

And then you noticed it. Sable’s relationship with Jaxon and the absolutely doting way he was around her and the smitten way she acted around him.

“So…? What’s up with that?” You whispered to Sable with a mischievous glint in your eye.

“Oh, Jaxon and I are together, it’s just uh, supposed to be under the radar, you see, the Jika are controlled by a queen and “technically” speaking, she’s the only one who’s supposed to breed in the colony and will kill rivals. And...yeah, so she’s not. And let me just say, damn.” Sable giggled as her whole face blushed beet red.

“Oh?” You giggled yourself. A forbidden romance? Be still your beating heart!

“Ok so the Jika are really sensitive to smells, in particular pheromones, that’s how the queen controls the hive, just like our bees do, so anyway, so Jaxon took one whiff of me and thought I was a queen and  he quickly kind of totally fell in love with me and dear god the sex is out of this world, but don’t worry, he can’t knock me up, it’s fine, but he calls me his ‘Isthantari’ which means ‘one I am devoted to for life’ and so while we have to be careful and as long as I don’t pose a threat of any kind to the actual queen and as long as I don’t attract any others, we’re fine. I just have to wear a fuck ton of deodorant and perfume. Actually Jaxon’s brothers, because Jaye started a relationship with another doctor a couple of years ago, most think that because they’re not the queen’s consorts that they’ll never find love but when Jaye and Jaxon realized that they could, their brothers are realizing they can have a life and romance outside the hive. So if you’re interested, I can try to set you up. You just, literally have to be very careful. And if they’re attracted to your scent, great, if not, don’t take it personal, more fish in the sea and all that, and one may think you’re the living end and another won’t, so it’s an individual thing too.” Sable tried to explain and warn you as Jaxon and Jabari finished getting the last of the fruits inside and you got a good look at him. He was handsome and that purple sheen to his black was quite beautiful.

“How big of a dick are we talking here?” You whispered before Sable gestured and described it and your eyes went wide but the biggest excited smile plastered on your face before she described the sex too and the royal jelly and you were beyond intrigued.

“Hell yeah sign me the fuck up,” you agreed before a plan bloomed in your head.

“Jabari right?” You repeated his name when he came back to stand next to Jaxon who was standing next to Sable, waiting further instructions as you held your hand out to shake one of his before he stepped forward and shook your hand.

“Hi, I’m Lenore, so Sable said to keep in touch with you when I have something for you guys to try, so I’ll need your phone number and email address.” You insisted before he puled a cell phone out of his, what you could only describe was an alien fanny pack because he wasn’t really wearing any other clothes and gave you his phone number and email address.

And then like a woman possessed, you spent the next three days experimenting before you created a plethora of cup cakes, macaroons and all kinds of desserts before you texted Jabari that you had things for him to try. Sable and Jaxon were delivering goods to another chef so that only Jabari could come which was perfect. You had worked up a sweat working on all this and part of you was hoping that Jabari would like your scent the way Jaxon had liked Sable’s.

“Hey, you made it, come on in,” you invited him warmly as you took him back into the kitchen where you had everything displayed on the long counter for him as your other employees manned the front counter.

You watched Jabari very carefully for his reactions, remembering that Sable had told you to watch his antennae movement as well and noticed that on most of it, his antennae were wiggling like crazy as you wrote that down. But to your chagrin, he didn’t seem to give you much of any other reactions other than simply moving down the table and continuing to eat one of each item methodically.

And you did your best to stay close to him but the closer you tried to get, the father away he tried to stay. Ok, so this one didn’t like you. Maybe he was one of the brothers that didn’t think the risk was worth it.

“Can I take this with me?” Jabari requested as he gestured to everything on the table.

“Sure. For Sable to try?” You guessed as you got a to go box and started putting the treats in it for him.

“...yes.” Jabari slowly affirms and not only takes the box but went to the front and ordered one of everything you make at the store and he leaves with a few cases of your goods.

The next day you texted Sable to see how she liked your sweets.

‘I didn’t get any.’ Sable informed you. ‘Although with Jika, when they find something they like, they inhale it, they must have been really good that he ate it all.’ She tried to assure you.

‘Well it would have been nice for him to SAY so. He wouldn’t give me so much as a hum or any thing. Not even a ‘this was good’.’ You complained.

‘Jika are really AWKWARD at first. I had no idea Jaxon liked me until three days after I met him in person. Jaxon fought with himself to keep away from me because his instincts were telling him to mate with me already and he was trying to be professional. So if he came off as stand off-ish it’s because they are usually pretty stoic. Once you get passed that, then their personality will come through.’ Sable explained. ‘Do you have what you need to make more? Because now I really want to try some.’ Sable urged.

‘Yeah, I should, give me by the end of the day today.’ You answered and right at ten minutes to close, Sable, Jaxon and Jabari returned, Jabari’s antennae were a bit droopy though and were your eyes deceiving you or was his abdomen bigger than it was yesterday?

“I’d like to apologize for making you make these again, I had a lapse in self control and ate it all.” Jabari apologized meekly.

“I’ll only forgive you if tell me your honest appraisals of everything.” You returned with a wicked curve to your grin and he perked up quite a bit at that before he just went on and on in amazing detail about every tiny little thing as Sable and Jaxon tried and really enjoyed each item as you were just suddenly overwhelmed, it was like getting the most glowing review from a food critic but in person and when he grabbed your hand to lead you out into the front to the display case as he then gave you a review of each thing, you realized, he did, eat every. Single. Thing. And you fell in love with the way he described your food because he made it sound like you had made each thing just for him and he appreciated and was deeply moved by it all and in awe of it all. You should have recorded this to write it down to actually put it into your menus. When he was done, you were almost ready to cry.

“Thank you.” You thanked him and flung your arms around him to hug him as he awkwardly hugged you back and you felt his antennae tap the back of your head gently just as the employees were closing the store.

“You’re welcome. You’re very talented.” Jabari praised as he seemed to give into the embrace and hugged you so tight it was a little hard to breathe and you noticed he’s petting your hair. You quite like it.

“Would you like to go get a drink with me?” You asked boldly as you pulled away from the embrace.

“Uh, you have drinks here?” Jabari tiled his head slightly in confusion as he gestured to your coffee bar and your fountain drink dispenser.

“No, alcoholic drinks.” Sable corrected as she came out from the back and handed you a sheet of paper with her and Jaxon’s reviews written on it and on the other side was suggestions of pairings which you folded and put into your pocket.

“Uh, can Jika…?” Jabari put to Jaxon who nodded ‘yes’ before he said something in the Jika language and it sounded encouraging.

“Sure,” Jabari confirmed and you could tell he was nervous.

“Come on.” You urged as you grabbed your things and took his hand and led him down the street to a local bar and pub that you liked to go to after a long day and you got dinner and a drink and smiled when he got the fruitiest drink they had and ate the slice of pineapple and orange that came with it.

“So how come you couldn’t tell me all that yesterday?” You posed after you placed your order.

“I needed time to compose myself and get my thoughts in order.” Jabari answered as he played with the rind of his orange nervously.

“Do I make you nervous?” You asked as you tilted your head to the side.

“No,” Jabari answered probably a little too quickly and a little too loudly.

“Really? Because your body language says otherwise.” You argued before he stopped fiddling with the rind and sat on his hands.

“It’s ok to be nervous, I don’t think any less of you if you are. But I do appreciate honesty. Just tell me and don’t leave me guessing.” You advised before a fight broke out at the bar and in a split second and faster than you could blink, you were wrapped up in his arms and he literally flew you both out of there and towards the Jika ship. You struggled until you realized how high you were and literally stopped struggling to cling to him so tightly you wrapped yourself around him even though his hold on you was pretty hard already.

“Jabari! What the fuck are you doing?!” You screamed as you looked down over the city and noticed it was...actually really pretty as that suddenly seemed to kick some sense into him and out of the instinct that had taken over him.

“Huh?” Jabari seemed to ask as he came to his senses and quickly changed direction to fly you back to the pub before he landed gently on the ground and put you down.

“Don’t move.” You ordered before you went back into the restaurant, got your food to go and came back out, paying the waitress and leaving a hefty tip, because the poor thing thought you ran out on the bill.

You came back out and practically hopped back into his arms.

“Ok, now you can go wherever you were taking me before.” You told him before he seemed to look at you a little more appreciatively and took off, his wings easily flying you through the air as his hold on you was secure as you held onto the food before he seemed to fly into a blue beam of light and in a flash, you were on the Jika ship and he was flying you through the ship as you watched on in wonder before he came to his quarters before he put you back down.

“That was really fun, just warn me the next time you want to go flying.” You gently teased as you looked around and saw what looked like a table and chair and had to hop up to sit on it and got your food out.

“So this is your place? It’s nice.” You appraised.

“Thank you.” Jabari nodded as he opened his food container and pulled up a chair and sat down and began to eat.

“So are you just naturally flighty?” You asked.

“No, Jika are fierce warriors.” Jabari countered.

“And yet half a second after the first punch was thrown you had both of us out of there and half way here already.” You argued firmly because you knew he was being protective, he just didn’t want to admit it.

“An instinct to keep you from danger kicked in and took over.” Jabari tried to explain delicately and a little dismissively but you were undeterred.

“Really? Aww, why?” You demanded with a bright smile.

“What Sable told you about Jika in my position?” Jabari returned.

“That you weren’t chosen for a royal consort and so you simply have a job to serve the hive but that you and your brothers are learning you can have a life outside the hive.” You repeated with a smug grin.

“Uh huh.” Jabari nodded.

“And that you’re affected by pheromones and that that’s the reason her and Jaxon are together because she smelled like a queen to him. So, do my pheromones do the same to you?” You asked plainly.

“Yes, and it will get both of us killed.” Jabari confessed.

“So it’s dangerous, some people really like that, the whole forbidden romance thing, that’s what sells books and movies and love songs.” You shrugged.

“It could be the downfall of the Jika as a whole, because if it’s seen as something any and all Jika can do, soon all the worker Jika could go back into incubation and have the ability to ignore the hive mind and our society and ways of doing things could cease to...” Jabari tried to argue before you grabbed his face, used your thumbs to move his mandibles out of the way to kiss him and smiled into the kiss when he kissed back and nearly climbed over the table to pull you up out of your seat to hold you as he picked you up and kissed you deeper.

“Oh fuck,” Jabari breathed as his hands pet your body which made you feel feverish because holy shit, did he taste good and this was great.

“So don’t tell the hive mind.” You managed to say between heated kisses as his bed appeared out of the floor.

“I need, I need you to tell me to stop.” Jabari pleaded desperately in a last ditch effort to save you from his imagined fate.

“Why?” You asked as you pulled away to look at him as you cocked your head to the side.

“Because if lay you down, I’m gonna mate with you and I won’t be able to stop myself at that point, right now, if you don’t want this, you have to stop me right now.” Jabari pleaded.

“Yeah I don’t want you to stop though because the forbidden romance is totally my thing and if I smell like your queen by all means, make me your queen but without actually getting us killed.” You breathed.  

“Fuck, well ok then.” Jabari caved and pinned you to the bed and in lighting fast speed, he stripped you out of your clothes, which having four hands came in handy and then his cock emerged and you gasped in surprise.

“Wow, that’s huge,” you purred before you wrapped your legs around his waist and tried to align yourself onto him and when the tip touched your slit, the slightly cooling yet tingling sensation began to spread into your womanhood before you noticed a duct appear on his chest and start oozing a yellow liquid.

“What’s that?” You asked as you pointed to it.

“Royal jelly, we make it during mating,” Jabari answered as he got into position and his breath shuddered when you licked it up and to you, it tasted like a mango, passion fruit, papaya, lychee and super ripe pineapple smoothie. It was so good. You easily licked it up and had to strain your neck a little to reach the duct and closed your mouth over it and sucked it before your tongue swirled around it just as he entered you and his hips stuttered as his breath fluttered as he temporarily forgot how to function because it felt so good and you couldn’t help but moan when he filled you, no stuffed you full and you whimpered as your hips rocked into him, trying to take him as deep as you could and when he really started to move as one hand held him above you so he wouldn’t crush you but the other three arms were wrapped your chest, your waist and your rear.

“Am I hurting you at all?” Jabari asked worriedly.

“No, but if you stop now I’ll hurt you.” You insisted before you played with the duct with your tongue which practically made him come apart again as he picked up the pace as you greedily sucked down that royal jelly.

“You’re so small and you’re so soft, yet you’re fiercer and bolder than any warrior I’ve ever met.” Jabari tried to praise you as you snorted a laugh.

“Oh no, are you choking?” Jabari asked as he pulled away before you pulled him back.

“Nope, laughing. Everyone says I’m tiny yet fierce.” You grinned before you attached your mouth over the duct again and sucked hard and that only made him hump you harder which was exactly what you needed to reach orgasm and just as you were barely coming down that knot at the base was now at your entrance and was drenched in your essence and with one last good thrust it popped inside and you cried out as your lower belly really bulged but instead of pain, you only felt a slight discomfort but otherwise it was nothing but pleasure as you were pumped full as your mouth was suddenly pumped full of royal jelly too and you tried to gulp it all down.

“Fuck,” it was your turn to cuss once you finished drinking it all down but you were still basking in after glow and you felt like you had melted and had slowly started to solidify in his arms again. “Wow, that was...wow.” You tried to have a coherent thought.

“Uh huh,” Jabari nodded in agreement as he very carefully laid down on his side with you still in his arms as he tried pulling a soft blanket over both of you to make sure you didn’t get cold without your clothes on.

“So why were you so weird the other day?” You asked him.

“I was trying not to mate with you and tried to stay professional, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings by not giving you the feedback you needed at the time.” Jabari explained as he ran his fingers through your hair marveling at it.

“Hey, it’s understandable,” you chuckled before you felt his cock shrink and the knot popped out and you expelled, what to you- felt like a gallon of his cum all over the bed and when you reached down between you to touch it, you marveled at it’s holographic nature and then out of curiosity you licked your finger clean and giggled.

“My cum tastes funny?” Jabari asked in confusion.

“Your cum literally tastes minty, like sweet mint gum.” You cackled as you licked your other fingers clean.

“What?” Jabari asked as he watched you curiously.

“Your cum, it tastes like mint gum, something humans actually like and think tastes really good.” You explained.

“Oh,” Jabari blinked.

Once you both recovered, you got redressed and he literally flew you home. “So am I your Isthantari now?” you asked as he put you down on your front step with surprising precision and care.

“If you want to be.” Jabari returned.

“Hell yeah,” you beamed before you pulled him down to kiss him again.

“Goodnight Jabari, I had a lot of fun tonight, by the way, you owe me for dinner.” You teased as you playfully pat his chest.

“Oh, that’s right, uh, yeah, I’ll...take you out for another alcoholic beverage, soon. Tomorrow?” He asked.

“Tomorrow. And I want to go flying again after, so don’t drink too much, don’t want you flying while drunk.” You winked before you went into your apartment.

[apartyofone]

Eyegasm

That’s the only way I know how to describe today’s tour of the Vatican. When we plotted this trip i knew that today - our second in Rome - would be the highlight of the trip. Mind you I’m not catholic - in fact I’m of the feeling that this group is more a cult than a religion at this point. But there is no denying that their vast storehouse of art is simply second to none.

One of the reasons I went to the New York Times Travel show back in January was to find some special tour groups and information. That’s where I met the people at Eternity Tours. For the 3.1 people who still read this blog - these are the folks for you to use when you find yourself in Rome someday. Highly professional, knowledgeable, just wonderful folks.

But they aren’t cheap. In fact nothing we’ve done on this trip has been economical. And I’m more than OK with that. For one thing - I’m in a better place now to be able to afford things like this. The other is that I don’t know how many more of these trips I have in me - more about that in another post. For example, just this private tour of the Vatican was $750+. But money well spent.

And when I mean private? It was exactly that. Just the three of us with a lovely woman named Celevi. She was a treasure - 12 years of experience as a guide to the Vatican. Excellent English speaker - not a given here - she helped us separate the most incredibly amazing stuff from the merely wonderful. The Vaticans contains so many treasures that one could spend 10 weeks simply looking at everything. Tourists on the move can’t afford that kind of time and she understood it. She deftly guided us to only the best of the best in her narration. She was simply wonderful company for a 5 hour tour. And even with this lengthy private excursion we simply scratched the service.

We started with reviewing thousands of statutes - and partial statues - purchased by the Vatican over 1000s of years. I’m afraid my pictures will never do justice to the incredible beauty I saw. In fact there was a gap where I simply taking it all in with my eyes and mind and not trying to commmit the memory to my digital devices.

Celevi gave us the background story on Michael Angelo and Raphael, and how the two were lifelong rivals and yet admirers of each other. Raphael lived only to his late 30s, had 1000s of friends and students, loved the good life and understood the commmercial opportunities of his art. Meanwhile Michael Angelo was a cranky, miserable sod without any friends, stubborn - insisting on doing all the work himself and not laying off to students as Raphael did. For them to create this art in the same time and space in Rome is breathtaking.

I can’t imagine even thinking about going through the Vatican or any art space without the guidance of a tour guide. And I’d say that having a private tour - not a group thing - is worth the extra money. I will remember this day for as long as I live, thanks to the guidance of Celevi.

From the statues we worked through some of the early art obtained for the Vatican. The stories of how the various Popes rose to power - and then lost is - are fascinating. I don’t pretend to be a student of Catholic history but I’m now intrigued. I even see a little Trump in some of the worst assholes....

Celevi paved her commentary with special attention to Peter and Paul - the rocks of the Catholic Church. I’m not a catholic myself - in fact I view today’s church as much more of a cult or crime syndicate - but I’m able to separate my disgust for their inability to bring the church into the 21st century to admire the treasures they have collected and cared for over the millennium.

One highlight among many - we walked through a 400 foot long hallway filled with breathtakingly detailed maps of Italy on the walls, under a gold gilt ceiling of artwork. I’ve posted a few pictures to T of this but it’s a poor representation of the magnitude of beauty in this corridor.

The high point of every Vatican tour is a peak at the Sistine Chapel No photos or videos are allowed of it, but Celeviti had prepped us well before we entered. The chapel itself is smaller than I had imagined. Probably large by Roman standards of the day. To gaze up at that ceiling and take in the masterpiece by Michael Angelo....unforgettable.

From there we entered the Church of St Peters - a simply mammoth building filled with treasures in every nook and cranny. Again it’s impossible to describe the vast amount of treasures, marble, sculptures - beauty overload.

In fact - that’s it. That’s the word. Overload. The Pope and the Church have this almost ridiculous storehouse of world treasures in this tiny walled off nation called the Vatican. Meanwhile there are millions of people who line up to see these wonderous sites everyday. We were in the city during a so-called shoulder season. And yet we have probably 10000 others going through these tours at the same time. Did the crowds marr the experience? A little. But when the eye is constantly flitting from one treasure, to the next artistic wonder, to the next religious icon.....you stop worrying about the other people in the room.

We finally emptied out in St. Peter’s Square - the place we all know so well from films or TV reports. We said our thankful goodbyes to Celeviti and wandered around the cavernous open space almost in a daze. Both C and S had the same reaction as I did.

We made our way back to our apartment almost in silence. The day had that kind of effect. For the evening we split up - the kids took a tour with yesterday’s tour guide Alexander to discover some alleged tombs and catacombs of Rome. Meanwhile I wandered down to the fascinating alleys surrounding our place for a long leisurely dinner.

I found this seafood place that had a long description of its house special - Cod. Not a special fish - and that was the thing. During WW2 it was the only thing that most Italian fishermen could bring in during the conflict. The owner of the restraurant told a story on the website about how his father - a chef - had worked out recipes to bring out the best of this very modest fish. Of course with a back story like that i was hooked! (Pun not intended). I got to the restraurant around 8 pm - and it was deserted. I was a bit alarmed.....is it open? Is it any good? The waiter - who turned out to be a family member - assured me. Wait 15 minutes and see. Yeah - it was packed in the next 30 minutes. When I told the waiter why I had chosen the spot, the owner came and sat at my table for 10 minutes to talk about his passion for cooking. And his house speciality - the Cod - was to die for. Sautéed with garlic, cherry tomatoes and olives. He took me to the kitchen to watch how it was prepared.

A perfect end to a perfect day.

[kee-writestrashh]

Guns for Hire

Ramsay Bolton x Reader

Ao3

Summary:  You are the wife to the Heir of the Red Kings, Ramsay Bolton. living the undercover life of a mob wife has its perks, and you love your husband. But you find out something that seems to unfold a series of unwanted events...

Chapter 4: Friday Night Brawls

You adjusted your green and red elf skirt, placed your little hat on, and gave yourself one last look in the mirror. You frowned thinking of all the clothes and outfits you would probably never be able to wear again when summer rolled around.

You loved dressing up for holidays. Ramsay wasn't a fan, but money was money. This costume was a bit more modest as you wore tights under the skirt because it was cold as shit. Thankfully the snow had been put on hold.

You walked into the living room. Ramsay was sprawled out on the couch watching TV and biting at his nails.

"Alright, baby. I gotta go." You said stopping at the end of the couch.

"Take the Nova." Ramsay said, sitting up as you walked in. He held out the keys.

You narrowed your eyes, "why?"

"Because I said. Be a good girl. Don't argue."

You took the keys and leaned down to kiss your husband. He pulled you down into his lap and kissed you hungrily. You melted into him as he kissed across your jaw and worried what was surely a large and very prominent hickey on your neck. He often liked to mark you before you went to work. You were his and he wasn't about to let anyone forget that.

He finally let go of you. You smiled, giving him one last quick kiss. He slapped your ass when you turned around to leave.

"I'll see you later?" You asked, opening the front door and glancing back at your husband.

He simply nodded.

×××

You walked through the backdoor, hanging up your keys and then hanging up your purse in a locker, exchanging it for your waist apron.

"Oly! I'm here!" You called, glancing around. The bar didn't open officially for another thirty minutes tonight, so it was just you and Olyvar until the new girls showed up.

"Up front! Finishing the decorations!" Olyvar's voice called.

You walked into the cavernous, empty bar. Olyvar too was dressed as an elf, in his green tunic and red tights. He was standing on the counter hanging the last of the Christmas lights.

"Be a dear and plug them in?" Your coworker asked.

You followed the trail of lights to the outlet and plugged them in.

Olyvar jumped down from the counter, jingling as he did so from his bells on his slippers and hat, admiring his handiwork.

"Not too shabby." You said, looking around the festive place. "So, what company?"

"Lion Gate." Olyvar said, walking behind the counter, grabbing two glasses and pouring out two shots.

You felt a panic surge through you. Lion Gate was owned by Tywin Lannister, head of the Rampant Lions. The Rampant Lions and the Red Kings had been at war in the city and surrounding areas for a long time. While Ramsay was heir to the Red Kings, he had formed his own little gang, the Bastard's Boys that he kept busy with the most. If the Lannister's showed up, it was sure to be trouble. What were they playing at? They didn't hold any ground or footing on this side of town.

"What were you thinking? They can't come here. If Ramsay finds out..." You began as Olyvar downed his shot.

"We are one of the best places in the city of a Friday night. And, money is money."

Olyvar pushed the second glass to you, but you shook your head. "I can't."

Olyvar scrunched his brow before realization spread over his face and he practically squealed like a teenage girl.

"Oh. My. God! How exciting! When did you find out? What was Ramsay like? Tell me everything!" He said, smiling broadly.

Olyvar was one of your oldest friends. He had started working at the bar when you did, both putting yourselves through school. But when the bar owner died he had split the place between you both. Olyvar did work from time to time for Ramsay, selling things on the side. He was like a brother to you, and it didn't hurt that he was into men. You assumed this to be the only reason Ramsay never said anything about you talking to him, or being friendly with him.

You took a seat and smiled, "well, I found out yesterday afternoon after Ramsay left. I've been feeling like shit for like two months now. Cramps. Headaches. Constant upset stomach. And then remembered I hadn't had my period in months. So on the way here I picked up a test and it said yes. I was actually kind if afraid of how Rams would react. We had never talked about it before. So, anyway, I told him last night and he demanded we go get some tests. You know him. Well, I took four. They all said yes. I guess he's excited. But, hard to tell. He doesn't really express excitement. Then he made me an appointment this morning and the doctor said I was about eight or nine weeks. Heard the heartbeat and I wanted to cry. It was so amazing. I have an appointment on the third to get an ultrasound done." You gushed, glad to have someone to tell.

"Little baby Bolton. This city is not ready for that." Olyvar said with a laugh.

You laughed. He was not wrong. There was a knock on the front door. You glanced at the clock. 4:45. You got up from your stool and walked to the front door, letting Damon and Ben in. You gave them both smiles, which they didn't really return.

Ramsay probably religiously threatened them to not look at you. He was a very scary person when angry, or bored. Whichever.

"We're streaming the fight tonight. Sure we'll be fine with only four of us and the two in the kitchen?" Olyvar asked turning on the various TV screens.

"Yeah. I think. Sorry, I forgot all about the fight. But we've had bigger events with fewer. Maybe could have done with a couple extra hands in the kitchen though. See if you can get anyone else to come in to kitchen duty?" You said, as two girls walked in.

Roslin was a quiet college student, who was looking to make a bit of extra money. She wasn't overly pretty with her dull eyes and mousy Brown hair, but she wasn't ugly either. But you weren't sure bartending would be something she was cut out for. She was timid and you were afraid of men taking advantage of her innocence as far as the bar scene went. But you had hired her anyways. Remembering how you were when you had first come here. And now look at you. Wife to the heir of a multi million dollar organized crime family.

You had no worries with the other girl, Tyene. She was loud, wild, and more than capable of handling herself. She had been working here for a couple weeks now, and the men loved her. Her dark skin, hair, and eyes made her stand out. Made then men pay extra attention, and money. She was born to hustle and get what she wanted. If she proved her worth, loyalty, and cunning you may talk Ramsay into getting her in with the girls.

"Hey hey!" Tyene cried, putting her reindeer antler headband on.

"Glad to see we all dressed up." You said, grinning broadly, looking the two girls over as Tyene snapped on a big, red blinking nose.

Roslin flushed and gave a timid twirl in her Mrs. Claus dress.

"Alright, so it's us four tonight on the floor. Kitchen will be a bit understaffed, as it's only Mac and Dag, tonight unless we can get a couple more in. So only finger foods and appetizers tonight. Big party coming in, plus the fight. I'm assuming you advertised we were playing it?" You said, glancing at Olyvar, who gave a nod. You left him in charge of the Facebook page and other advertising outlets.

"Great. So, we will be crowded and busy. Anything you make you keep, other than prices of the drinks and food. Remember ladies, they can look, but they cannot touch you. We may not be a strip club, but we follow those same rules. Anyone gives you any problems just raise your fist in the air and Ben or Damon here will come to your aid." You motioned to the two burly men. "Don't let no man give you any shit. Feel free to drink, just remember to pay for it, and stay with it enough to do your jobs. By the time the night is over, you ladies will be very happy." You continued, clapping your hands and glancing at the clock. The two cooks walked into the bar and giving you thumbs up before disappearing into the kitchen to let you know they were there.

As assumed, the bar filled quickly and the volume steadily increased with the flow of liquor, smoke, and smells of greasy buffalo wings, fries, and mountains of nachos.

When the Lion Gate group arrived you didn't recognize anyone that could possibly cause trouble. They seemed to just be regular employees, not gang members. But, you could be wrong. You weren't as good as Ramsay when it came to picking rival gang members out of a crowd. They were a very loud and rowdy group. Both your girls were pocketing bills like crazy, and Olyvar spent his time behind the counter mixing drinks and flirting with a couple guys.

The smoke, smells, and sounds were starting to get to you. Your stomach turned over and you suddenly felt nauseous. A headache was starting to form. You caught Olyvar's attention and mimed taking a 'time out'. He gave you a thumbs up as you disappeared to the safety of the back room.

You sighed, taking a deep breath. You pulled your phone from your apron pocket. It was almost ten. Only another hour.

You sat at a small table, resting your head on it for awhile, trying to compose yourself and fighting the urge to throw up when the police scanner in the corner sounded.

"All available units to seventy fifth and Trident. Multiple gunshot wounds. Back up requested immediately."

'No mans land.' you thought to yourself with a frown. What was Ramsay up to? Nobody every held that stretch very long.

After awhile you got a hold of yourself, stood up, and pulled a water bottle from the employee fridge, and chugged half of it before getting back to work.

"(Y/n)!" Olyvar called. You glanced over at him, who nodded to the corner to Roslin.

She was being harassed by a couple of men. Tyene was across the room cutting up with a group, and Damon and Ben were busy keeping a fight from breaking out. You frowned, clenching your jaw and stomping over to the corner.

Roslin's eyes were wide in pleading when you appeared at her side. One of the men grabbed her ass.

"Excuse me, sir. But you are not allowed to touch my girls. Release her and keep your hands to yourself or you will be asked to leave." You said, pulling Roslin away, and shielding her.

The man laughed, grabbing your hip. "Oh come on baby, it's just a bit of fun. Get into the holiday spirit. I could make it worth your while." He slammed a stack of bills on the table with a drunken laugh.

You stepped back, but his grip tightened. You narrowed your eyes at the man, "get out of my bar."

He laughed, releasing his grip and slapping your ass. You brought your hand up to slap him, but he caught your wrist.

"Or what, doll? You'll call the police?"

A hand landed on the man's shoulder and you looked to see Ramsay flanked by five men. He gripped the man's shoulder until the man squirmed in pain, fury painted all over his face.

"Unfortunately for you, we don't call the police around here." Ramsay growled as two of the men pulled the man from his seat and drug him towards the back exit.

Ramsay looked you up and down, "how many times did he touch you, baby girl?"

"Three." You said, watching the fire burn in his eyes. He gave a nod, gave you a fleeting kiss, and stalked towards the exit.

"(Y/n), I'm so sorry." Roslin squeaked.

You gave a glance at the other man. He was oddly calm, for his buddy being dragged away as he simply sat there, scrolling through his phone, pocketing the stack of cash. This made your pulse quicken. You hurried to the bar counter and then ran towards the exit.

You stepped into the alley to find Ramsay bouncing the man's head off the brick wall next door.

You averted your eyes and pursed your lips, trying to ignore the sick, crunching sound. "Rams, we have a problem. He's a Rampant. As was his buddy."

Ramsay stopped in his action, dropping the man, who fell in a heap. Ramsay grabbed the man's arm and ripped his sleeve back. On the man's forearm was a tattoo of a rampant lion in red.

Ramsay pulled a knife from his pocket. One of Ramsay's men stuffed a rag into the Lion man's mouth as Ramsay hacked at the tattoo until the skin came away. You watched in horror as Ramsay clutched the piece of skin.

"Make it clean, boys." Ramsay said, looking at the group of men. They all left quickly, pulling guns.

"Don't you make a mess in my bar!" You hissed at your husband. "The cops are already being nosy!"

Ramsay gave you a long look. "Not a drop." He said, walking past you and holding the door open.

You glanced at the severely injured man laying on the pavement. "What about him? You can't just leave him."

"Baby girl, don't worry yourself about anything. It will all be taken care of. They started it, coming to my kingdom. Now, get back in there and get back to work. The lions won't be back." Your husband said, rather impatiently.

You just gave a nod and went back inside. You hurried back to the counter, pulling Olyvar to you so you could whisper in his ear. "Volume up, lights down. Now." You hissed.

Olyvar did as you instructed. Nobody seemed to notice. They were all too absorbed in the fight and drowning in beer. You glanced around and gasped as a hand grabbed you. Instinct brought your hand up, but Ramsay's chuckle stopped you. You relaxed.

"Come on." He said, pulling you along.

You furrowed your brows, but followed him to the table the other man still sat at. Ramsay took the empty seat across from him, pulling you into his lap, as his group of men formed a tight circle around the table. He leaned forward, his wicked smirk in place.

"I believe you owe my wife an apology." He said casually to the man.

The man scoffed, "I didn't touch her, speak to her, or even look at her."

Ramsay tutted and rolled his eyes, "I said that you owe my wife an apology. I will not tell you again."

"Listen punk, I don't know who you think..." the man started, puffing up, but his words were lost as Ramsay slammed the crudely flayed tattooed skin on the table.

"Our blades are sharp." Ramsay breathed with so much malice the temperature seemed to drop.

Your stomach churned at the piece of flesh on the table. You frowned, closing your eyes, and saying a small prayer.

What happened next was a blur. You saw Ramsay pull his knife, but everything that followed wouldn't come into focus as you were on your knees, vomiting in the toilet of the bar bathroom.

"(Y/n)? Are you okay?" Came Tyene's voice.

You leaned back, heaving a shaky sigh. "Yeah, dear. I'm just... I'm pregnant. Apparently the little one didn't like what I ate last."

Which was true. Nachos had been a very bad idea. However, you weren't sure if seeing a man murdered in front of you or the morning sickness had made you wretch.

"Okay, well, your husband, I think, is waiting on you. Says you should go home and rest. I was confused at first. But now it all makes sense. Congratulations! You know, even if it's not the ideal position to be told." She said with a small laugh at the end.

Well, now you were confused. Didn't complete chaos just unleash in the bar?

You pushed yourself up, sighed, flushed the toilet, and stepped out of the stall. Tyene peered at you curiously as you washed your hands, vigorously.

"What's it like out there?" You asked, drying your hands.

"Normal? A few men were escorted out, but other than that, everyone seems to be having a hell of a time."

You sighed again. This time relieved.

Tyene held the door open for you and you stepped back on to the floor. Sure enough, it was like nothing had ever happened. Ramsay pushed his empty shot glass back to Olyvar and rose from his stool when he saw you.

He looked you over, and held out his hand.

"You sure you'll be alright without me?" You asked Olyvar.

He nodded and gave you a smile, "of course. You just worry about you. We've got this."

You nodded and let Ramsay lead you to the back room. He said nothing as he untied your apron, grabbed your purse, and the keys hanging up.

"Come on baby girl. Let's get home."

You turned to Ramsay, who was as calm as could be, lighting a cigarette.

"What the fuck just happened?" You cried, throwing your hands up.

"Business. Seat belt, baby doll." He replied simply, exhaling smoke.

"Business? I just watched you kill a man in the middle of a crowded bar and no one freaked the fuck out. Explain." You said, demanding the last part.

Ramsay gave a harsh laugh, "If no one hears, no one sees."

"What the fuck were you thinking? The cops..."

"Will know nothing." He cut across you.

"How many men did you kill?"

"Just the cunt in the alley and at the table."

"What about the others?"

"We saw them out and sent them running along with messages to deliver."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't worry, baby girl. Everything will be okay. You just worry about my child inside you."

You frowned. This city was about to become very unsafe. For everyone. Including the unborn child inside of you.

Fear and dread welled inside you as you burst into tears.

Ramsay raised his brows in surprise and gave you a quick look.

"This is not right! Everything is such a mess!" You sobbed, snatching your hat off and clutching it in your hand to cry into.

"Whoa there, little momma. Calm down. Everything is fine. It will be fine. I have eyes everywhere." Ramsay said, softly.

It wasn't a very reassuring voice. That wasn't him. He wasn't one to comfort.

You simply gave a sniff and nodded.

Neither of you said anything for the remainder of the trip home.

Ramsay opened your door and helped you out. He placed a kiss to your temple as he led you inside and straight to the bedroom.

You simply stood there as he undressed you, kissing each bit of skin he exposed.

"What do you want?" He asked, kissing along your collar bone.

"Something to make me forget the things I saw tonight."

"Oh come on now baby girl. It wasn't that bad." Ramsay chortled, grabbing your hips.

You rested your cheek on his chest and sighed, "Rams, I watched you smash a man's head into a brick wall and then cut his skin off. I watched you stab a man point blank across a table while I sat in your lap. You could have hurt somebody innocent. What part of that wasn't so bad?"

Ramsay placed his finger under your chin and brought your face up to look at him.

"First things first, baby girl. Nobody at a bar is innocent. Second, both of those men disrespected you. Therefore disrespecting me. I will not have that. At all."

You looked away from him. Maybe he was right. Or at least had a point. You looked back up at him and opened your mouth to say something when your breath caught. The cramps were bad enough. But the increasing nausea was getting really fucking annoying.

Ramsay raked his eyes over your face and frowned, pulling you to the bed. He undressed and slid into the bed next to you, pulling you close and running his hand through your hair until you finally fell into a deep sleep.

[haikyuu-imagines-and-others]

can i get something angsty with hanamaki and iwaizumi. maybe liking the same girl and thats why hanamaki wants to beat iwaizumi in arm wrestling so bad? SO is good friends with both of them?

Ahhhh why would you break these loves hearts like this??? Waaah T~T I love it tho hehehehe >:) It’s literally my bread and butter~ Thanks for the request! - Admin Satori

Hanamaki Takahiro:

It was no use, he knew. How could he ever think he could compete with someone as goddamn perfect as Iwaizumi Hajime? Compete and win? That was way out of the question! Hanamaki knew he wasn’t anything special. Just some tall, pink haired, meme-y dork who took jokes and pranks way to far for his own good. The only redeeming quality of his was his choice of friends - Mattsun, Oikawa, Iwaizumi… His kouhais, and maybe his really thick collection of movie ticket stubs.

Iwaizumi was a GOD among men. Everyone was a little gay for him, including Hanamaki, but it was the girls that stripped away Hanamaki’s confidence. Well, one in particular.

You.

You, Iwaizumi, and Hanamaki had been friends since elementary school, primary school just learning about the world. The three of you were good friends all the way throughout high school, and now, thankfully, still hung around in the same college! The three best of friends, an odd looking trio but who gives a damn when you enjoy the company you’re in? Not Hanamaki! He loved…

Hanamaki slowly inhaled as he pulled on his college volleyball practice jersey, his mind racing onto thoughts of you. Your sweet smile, the classiest meme’s you’d send him, songs you’d share with him that would then get stuck in his head. He loved you. Hanamaki didn’t know when it happened, but he did know that your attention was split between himself and Iwaizumi.

He didn’t think you had noticed all his failed power moves over Iwaizumi - trying to prove to you, and himself, that he was worth catcalls from the opposite sex. Hell, he’d get them from Mattsun, why couldn’t he get them from some random passing girl? Why not from you?

All throughout their friendship, Hanamaki would try to get the upper hand over Iwaizumi - pranking him in the most vulnerable of times… Just so he could feel a little better about his situation.

“Yo! Haji-Iwa, I think I’m going to win this time, come on - let’s du-du-du-duel!” Mattsun snorted at Hanamaki’s dated reference, coughing on the water he’d been drinking, and Hanamaki smiled widely. If he could count on someone pumping his pride, it was Mattsun.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at Hanamaki, “So ready to lose again? You just tried this stunt yesterday.”

Hanamaki held up a finger as he made his point, “Ah, but I’m counting on your exhaustion from carrying this team to wear you out.” Another chortle from Mattsun and Hanamaki was on the gym floor, resting his elbow on the empty bench.

Suspicion pulled at Iwaizumi’s upper lip, but Hanamaki only gave him a smirk, “I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment.”

“But it was a com-“

“Ah, ah, let’s just get your participation award already.”

A strong grip brought Hanamaki’s eyes from Iwaizumi to his hand gripping his, hard, with purpose. Another thing Hanamaki felt he’d never relate to. Iwaizumi lived with purpose. He knew what he wanted, and he was going to get it. But Hanamaki? Hell, he never knew what he was doing. Ever. Always just walking through life, and taking the experiences as they came, never seeking them out or even for a deeper connection to those memories formed. Iwaizumi lived life, Hanamaki felt as if he were stale, growing old in seconds from just not being good enough. Stagnant, almost.

Soft tugging on his sleeve brought Matsukawa’s attention to the small form by his side, and he gave you a gentle smile when you nodded towards the duo now sitting on the floor. “Ready, Set, GO!” Matsukawa called suddenly, in rapid succession, making not only you jump but Iwaizumi to groan in exertion when Hanamaki tried to slam all of his weight into the match.

He almost had him too. So close. A hairs width away from losing to the pink bastard! But Iwaizumi fought back, gained his footing in this battle of hands, of arms, “You damn cheater.”

Hanamaki chuckled and applied as much force as he could, he didn’t have much of a reserve to tap in after that initial blow. He’d been hoping that would have taken care of it. But he should have known better. “It’s not cheating! It’s tactic.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was going to lose, and he knew. A large sigh escaped his lungs in the guise of a grunt, “Mattsun, go ahead and order the takeout.. I’ve already lo-“

Pink head tilted backwards, his heart stopped when he saw your watching his failed attempt at gaining dominance. You’d seen how much of a failure he was. How useless he could be when it came to Iwauzmi’s amazing ability, skill, or just plain born with it quirkiness. Hanamaki’s head snapped back up when he realized he was now on the brink of losing, Iwaizumi almost had his knuckles touching the bench below, and Hanamaki’s forearm felt like it was about to be ripped off!

Not in front of you. Please, anything but that. His pride was already set at a low point, he didn’t need you seeing him in that way!

An awful, terrible, horrid idea entered Hanamaki’s mind, catching the wave of panicked impulse, and before he knew it, his left hand was punching against the soft spots of Iwaizumi’s arm and side. Not hard enough to really injure him, not hard enough to really cause any damage. Just perfectly aimed to cause Iwaizumi to yell in pain and pull his hand from Hanamaki’s, his own left hand kneading out the knots in his arms. A goddamn Charlie Horse.

Hanamaki held up both arms in victory, “Fuck yeah! I win! I win!” He quickly got to his feet and rushed over to where you were staring at the finished match, “_____! Did you see? I won! I finally won! Years and years of never being able to beat him, and I finally won!”

“You sick bastard!” A familiar voice roared before the collar of Hanamaki’s shirt was bunched in a very awkward hold of a non-dominant hand. Iwaizumi glared up at Hanamaki, “Are you out of your mind? Do you know how dangerous it is for my volleyball career to get a cramp in my arm? Do you HAVE a death wish?” He was livid. Not only because his pride had taken a little bit of a hit at the lost game, but mostly because his arm was now twinging in pain and curled against his chest. The pain was so much, it was making his face flush with his effort not to cry out.

You quickly pushed the two away from each other, “Oh my God, Hajime! Shhh, shhhh, come on, we need to get you to someone that can help.” Your hands cupped Iwaizumi’s face, and Hanamaki felt his entire world deflate right before his eyes. How long had he been blind? How long had he been pining for someone… who was no longer available to be his….? How many nights had he laid awake thinking of you, when you were in the stronger, more capable arms of his…. Newfound rival? “Jesus, Takahiro, you need to relax! It was just a game! Why did you go and hit him?” Now you were mad at him.

Of course you were mad. Why wouldn’t you be? You just witnessed your boyfriend be assaulted by who you thought was your close friend? Hanamaki tried to gulp down his sudden realization, tried to talk around it even, but all that could come out was a choked, “For you.”

[sinrau]

There’s a strange and grim thing happening in America. Well, another one. Call it the Red States of Coronavirus.

Red states are seeing rises in Coronavirus so explosive they rival — or are greater than — the world’s poorest, devastated countries.

Yes, really. Florida had 4000 new cases yesterday. Just Florida alone!

Pakistan — the entire country — had 5000 cases. Florida’s population is 21 million. Pakistan’s population is…212 million. On a per capita basis, that means that Florida alone has about ten times as many new cases as Pakistan.

Pakistan is one of the world’s poorest, most devastated, dysfunctional countries.

And yet Florida alone is outdoing it in terms of acceleration in Coronavirus.

My God. Are you seeing the surreal, absurd, bizarre, shocking scale of this yet — what I mean by the Red States of Coronavirus?

Florida’s just one Red State. What about the others? Arizona, another 2500 cases. Texas, another 4400 cases. Utah, another 600 cases. Tennessee, 1200 or so. These might sound like tiny numbers, but this is just on one day. Now, I’m just grabbing the numbers from Google, so nitpick if you must, but don’t miss the point.

When we add those up, the total number’s probably north of 10K new cases, across all the Red States, per day. Again, that might not sound like much, either, until you realize.

That’s more than many of the world’s poorest, most deprived countries…in absolute terms. Bangladesh, for example has about 4000 new cases per day right about now. Bangladesh’s population is about 161 million, which is about that of Red States. So Red States have twice the per capita new Coronavirus cases of…Bangladesh. What the?

Think about the meaning of this for a moment. Bangladesh and Pakistan are two of the world’s poorest countries. They are failing states, and have been for most of their short, terrible history. They have no — no — functioning healthcare, in modern terms. They barely have decent sanitation and water for people. They don’t have working governments (but at this point — neither does America), but teeter on the brink of perpetual upheaval, and they certainly don’t have anything like the resources of a rich, developed country. And yet Red States are even outpacing them.

Now, you can go right ahead and assume that nations like Pakistan and Bangladesh are undercounting Coronavirus cases. That’s probably fair. But even if they’re undercounting them by a full 100%, that only puts Red States on par with them.

Let’s do one more example to drive the point home. India had about 15,000 new Coronavirus cases yesterday. That’s more than Red States, for once. But India’s population is about 1.4 billion — which is ten times that of Red States. Again, in per capita terms, Red States are doing much, much worse. How much so? About eight to ten times worse, if we believe India’s official numbers. And if we don’t, the best we can say is that they’re doing about as well as India, in a very very generous interpretation.

But India is also one of the world’s poorest and deprived societies.

What on earth?

Here is my point. There are three of them, actually.

America’s failure on Coronavirus has had shattering consequences. Red States are now some of the worst performing places on earth, when it comes to Coronavirus. Yes, really. We probably have to look at completely devastated countries like the Congo or Somalia to see worse outcomes.

That’s a result of three things.

The first is the failure to have a national strategy or approach whatsoever. Trump denied, then he dithered, then he told people to drink bleach, then he…cut funding for the WHO. To this very day, there is no national strategy whatsoever for Coronavirus. America is almost alone across the globe in this respect. How many other countries have no national strategy whatsoever for dealing with the greatest catastrophe in a generation?

That is what it means to be a failed state. And in that vacuum, with no national agenda, approach, vision, plan, American states were left to do…more or less whatever they wanted.

That brings us back to Red States. Red States are the empire of the American Idiot. They’re places where people carry guns to Starbucks, because who knows, the Indians might show up to raid your carriage. No, not everyone in Red States is an American Idiot — but there are certainly enough of them to make America’s Red States some of the most backwards places on earth.

Hence, Red States did things so bizarre, when I tell my European friends, their jaws drop. Like Texas’s Governor blocking mayors from making masks required. “Lol…what? It’s illegal to make people wear them…not not wear them?!”, my European friends splutter. “But how can he?” I shrug, and say, “I don’t know.”

But it’s not an outlier: Arizona’s governor blocked city and town mayors from mandating mask-wearing, too, among others. What the?

If the political leadership of a state is making it illegal for people to wear masks, then of course it’s probably going to be the case that it has zero plan for dealing with a pandemic in a sensible, thoughtful, even scientific way. And that’s precisely what we do see in Red States. No plan — to this very day.

What the rest of the rich world — and much of the poor world — now takes for granted as a plan: track and trace, lock down, isolate, quarantine, test: that’s entirely missing in Red States.

To be fair, most of that’s still missing even in Blue States.

Astonishing — because none of that, by now, is rocket science. Even poor countries, like Vietnam, and less rich ones, like Taiwan, have gotten all that precisely right.

America’s Red States are about at the point of political development of a Pakistan or an India. Sure, they might have a little bit more money. But they sure as hell don’t know what to do with it. The outcomes for people’s lives are now becoming every bit as catastrophic. That is how much of a failing state America now is — or at least the parts of it the American Idiot now controls and manages.

So if Red States didn’t follow the by-now proven and tested plan for controlling Coronavirus — track, trace, quarantine, isolate, lock down, test — what did they do?

Well, they reopened. Far too soon. That is what produced all the new spikes above.

They reopened not just because they are run by lunatics — but because they are poor states. People in them “need to work” to put bread on the table, or, by and large, their families go hungry. Red States are America’s underdeveloped and deprived regions — and since America is led by a set of hyperconservative old men, Americans received barely any support during the pandemic. Just $1200, or one week’s worth of income.

Red States needed support most, precisely because they are the poorest. But because they are the poorest, they are the most heavily conservative, too — and so they didn’t want support: they wanted to go back to work.

That’s another eerie parallel to failing states like India and Pakistan, too, by the way. Why are Corona cases spiking there? One, because people have to go on working, to put bread on the table: these are not rich societies. Two, because governments can’t support people through the pandemic, because again, these are not rich societies. Three, because there is no real national plan that follows the international template for best practices, because these countries have backwards political leadership.

But all that’s true of Red States, too.

I pointed out about a decade ago that America was about to become a failing state. I don’t take any particular satisfaction in being right.

But it’s beyond debate at this point.

Who has some of the worst Coronavirus trends and outcomes in the world today? It’s not just the world’s poorest, most shattered societies.

America’s Red States are outdoing them.

That’s how badly they’ve failed at governing themselves. That’s how badly their ideas and values — individualism, selfishness, indifference, cruelty, brutality, ignorance as a way of life, those old slavers’ values — have failed. America’s Red States are self-destructing. We are watching a bizarre and gruesome historic event, the suicide of a swathe of a society.

There’s a lesson in there, too. Self-destruction is what happens to societies that follow their model — putting I before Us, self-preservation over cooperation, power over prosperity, conflict over peace, ignorance over knowledge, old tribal and racial hatreds over dignity, worth, and value of and for all.

Bang! This is what hate and stupidity do. They destroy you from within, making you burn down your own house, and grin in glee — just because no one else will ever live in it. Well done, well done. But where will you go now, dummy?

I’m sorry if that sounds harsh to some of you. But isn’t it true?

Umair June 2020

[lubdubsworld]

The unfaithful Wife

Chapter 4

Jiminstayed perfectly still while the car pulled up in front of the daycare and I bit my lips, trying to think of a way to make this work without upsetting Jin Soo. Jimin looked stubborn and angry and somehow, I was being pushed into becoming the guilty party. I didn't know why it hurt so much. But for now, I had to think about Jin Soo.

"It would help if I had just a minute with him.." I tried again and Jimin gave me an impatient look.

"I'm not going to barge in and demand attention and love from him. I know kids need time. I'm not a complete idiot, so don't talk to me like that." He snapped.

I sighed and nodded. He got out of the car and came around to hold the door open for me . When we went in, Jin Soo was the only kid there and Jimin's eyes softened naturally.

"Hey buddy..." He said softly.

"Hi uncle." Jin Soo said brightly, remembering him from yesterday.

Jimin stiffened again. But then he smiled.

"Jin Soo... Do you like toys? Trucks? Guns?" He smiled. Jin Soo's eyes went wide.

"Yes." He breathed, stunned to hear his favorite things in one sentence.

Jimin turned and gave his chauffeur a quick nod who promptly went out.

"Would you like to have a ... Daddy?" He smiled, before sinking down to his knees till he was almost eye level with Jin Soo.

I fidgeted, nervous.

"My Daddy lives in a castle and someday he'll come to meet me." Jin Soo said promptly with a proud smile.

Jimin's breath hitched. He turned to look at me and I looked away. Suddenly his fingers reached out and gently touched mine. I pulled away, scalded. And then realized that he was probably playacting for Jin Soo's benefit.

"I expected that you would have told him he didn't have a father or something.." He whispered, face oddly blank. I stared at him, suddenly feeling very lonely. And hurt.

"Of course not. I wouldn't have kept him hidden forever. I would have told you... someday." I said, realizing as I said it , that it was true. 

"Well, I'm from a castle. And i want to be your daddy.... Can I?" He said, turning to Jin Soo like he hadn't heard my response. Jin Soo looked alarmed, looking at me for reassurance. I'd never felt so torn in my entire life.

"It's... alright... He'll be a nice daddy.." I choked out.

There it was done.

Now no one could undo it.

I felt like i was sinking into a quagmire of regrets already.

Suddenly the chauffeur reappeared, carrying what looked an entire shopping mall worth of wrapped gifts. Jin Soo's eyes went even wider if that was possible.

"I know Daddy hasn't been there for a long time, so i thought I'd make up for it. " He said, reaching out and ruffling Jin Soo's hair before gathering him into his arms. My breath caught in my throat. Resentment rose like a living thing, choking off my airway.

"You can't buy his affection..." I hissed before I could stop myself.

"You have a five year headstart... I deserve this much..." He snapped back.

And it was working, i thought in disbelief watching the way jin Soo's face lit up with excitement as he saw all the packages.

"We can't do this here though. Would you like to come to Daddy's castle?" Jimin said with a bright smile. I felt my breath catch at the sight of it. He still had the most beautiful smile on the planet , I thought miserably. I was doomed. I then kicked myself mentally. Granted it had been five years, but had I forgotten everything he had put me through?? He had wrecked my life.

Feeling a bit more stable, I watched Jimin as he carried Jin Soo out of the daycare while I followed limply, already feeling like the third wheel. Jin Soo was mine, I thought despondently. I'd raised him all by myself. Carried him myself, through a nightmare pregnancy that had nearly killed me. I didn't want to share his love with anyone. Least of all the man who had thrown me away without a second thought. I stared at jimin and tried to understand what was going through his head and failed. It was obvious he wanted to be with his son, seemed to actually care for him but ... he could have another one. With a woman he loved.  

I climbed into the car behind him, watched him as he spoke easily with his son, now together, they looked breathtakingly alike and similar. The same lovely wide smile, enough to make anyone's heart skip a beat and half-moon eyes that sparkled. Jin Soo looked like he belonged with Jimin. Like he'd always belonged with him and i could feel panic build up inside me. I felt like the intruder all of a sudden. Like i was the pnly thing wrong with the picture perfect happiness . 

When the car pulled up to the huge Park Mansion, smack-dab in the middle of Seoul. I felt something very much like nausea creep up my thorat. i had the best and the worst memories of my life here and i'd never once thought I'd be coming back.

Suddenly, Jimin reached out and took my hand in his.

"I've got a different home now. We won't be living here." He said, as though he could read my mind.

I nodded numbly.

Living.

We were going to be living together.

It made no sense.

He hated me. I was supposed to hate him and well, really the entire thing was supposed to be over before it ever began.

"I don't think..." He gave me a look of warning, nodding at Jin Soo and I swallowed my own words. I couldn't talk in front of my perceptive son.

The car drove past the huge Manor and then further into the estate, past rolling meadow, artificial woods and lakes with fauna and flora to rival the world's best . After nearly twenty minutes , we pulled up in front of a modest two-story house, set at the end of the lane.

"You'll have drivers on call at all times. There will be staff to take care of jin Soo and you can drive to your bakery from here." He said briskly, carrying Jin Soo out and directing the chauffeur to bring all the packages in. I hesitated, still feeling like I'd stepped into some sort of an alternate reality. I watched him move and then slowly followed, legs feeling like lead in my shoes.

When I stepped in, the last person I expected to see was Jimin's sister, Jin Hee. I stopped short, heat flooding my face as she stared at me, a mixture of awkward sympathy and concern on her face.

"Min Hee... It's nice to see you.." She said hesitantly and I felt like death. The last time I'd seen her, I'd been branded a prostitute by her mother and kicked out of the house. Bile rose in my throat and humiliation threatened to choke me. Resentment for my husband came in waves. Why on earth was he doing this to me??..

"Please.. don't look so stricken. What's in the past is in the past.... I'd love for us to move on. We were friends back then, weren't we?" She said desperately and I tried not to pull away as she wrapped me in a hug, her arms easily going around me.

"You've become so thin.. Min Hee.." She said disapprovingly and I couldn't trust myself to speak. Suddenly the sound of pattering feet made me lookup and I found myself staring at adorable twin boys, maybe a bit smaller than Jin Soo. Jin Soo too was looking at the newcomers with great interest.

"They're my children. Their father.... well, he isn't in the picture anymore. i stay here with Jimin, i hope you don't mind." She said nervously and I shook my head.

"Of course not.. I.. I won't be here for long anyway..." I stopped when Jimin shot me a glare that could kill.

"She means that we may be going on a honey moon for a few weeks at least. Start fresh." He said loudly.

I tried not to clench my teeth. Honeymoon? Over my dead body...

"That's a wonderful idea. I think you guys .. I mean I've always thought you're meant to be together and well, everyone makes mistakes. What's important is that you love each other and your son, enough to want to move on."

Jin Hee made both of us sound like saints.

I wanted to burst into tears and tell her the truth. That her precious brother had blackmailed me into this.

"We do. By the way, did the designer come?" Jimin asked, standing up and shrugging out of his jacket. I felt my eyes widen as I took in the increased breadth and width of his shoulders and chest, the soft fabric stretching taut against his muscled frame. i didn't have to touch him to know he was probably hard as a rock in all the right places. Even now, he looked every inch the rich, sophisticated CEO that he was.  I felt shabbier than ever considering my own stick thin figure and lank hair.

"Yes. He's left a lot of dresses in the fitting room. Min Hee can try them on..." She smiled brightly.

I frowned.

Try them on?

"I'll take the kids to the play room.." She said brightly and Jin Soo waved cheerfully before rushing away with his new friends, Min Ho and Ji Hoo.

I waited till she was out of earshot before turning to Jimin.

"I don't want you to buy me clothes.." I said automatically and he rolled his eyes.

"They're just some cocktail gown for when we go out in public. "

Public?

"I'm not going to be your trophy wife.." I said angrily .

" If I wanted a trophy wife, I could damn well do better... " He snapped.

I recoiled in disbelief. His sharp tongue had hurt me often during our marriage. Clearly he hadn't changed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't even mean it.. fuck.. you're beautiful and you don't need me to tell you that anyway." He ran an impatient hand through his hair. " What i meant was that, once we get married some public appearances are mandatory. You'll need nice clothes. I'll try to keep you as far from the public eye as possible but ... sometimes it may be impossible to avoid." He said.

i looked away, tired. I hadn't slept in a long time and the days exhaustion was slowly beginning to creep in. My eyes fell on the unwrapped packages of toys on the floor and i bit my lips.

"you're right. You can give him a lot more than I ever can.." I said quietly, staring at the expensive toys which probably cost more than what I'd make in a year.

Jimin made a noise of impatience and stepped closer, grabbing my shoulders suddenly and forcing me to look up at him.

"I didn't mean it that way... " He said roughly, giving me a little shake.

"I can't compete if you throw your money around.." I said softly.

"It's not a competition... I.. i mean if you look that way, he loves you way more than he would ever love me. i cannot compete with the bond you have with him.. But it isn't a competition... Minnie.. I meant what I said. I want to move on from this and trust me it's difficult for me too. But I just.. it's not about whether we can give him more love or more money ...i just want him to have both. His parents love, a comfortable life and a complete family. He deserves it, don't you think?" He said softly , fingers gently massaging my shoulders. The touch was oddly familiar , soothing and normal. While my mind hadn't agreed my bodily was already getting used to being touched, i thought miserably.

"I didn't sleep with Tae Min." I said without thinking.

Jimin stiffened, hands falling off my shoulders.

"Minnie... "

"I swear I didn't.. I never cheated on you..."

"Enough." His voice was low. Furious. " Don't ever mention his name again. Like I said, I'll forget it, for our son's sake. I won't bring it up ever again. Only if you promise not to either. We can't move on if you keep clinging to that ridiculous story... " He snapped.

I sighed in defeat.

"Minnie... listen to me. This doesn't have to be bad. We can make this work. I swear.. I'm.. I'm sorry about the way I handled things back then. I was upset. I was...hurt. I was young and immature. i should have.. i should have been there for you. I looked for you... For a long time.. But i didn't know you changed your surname. "

"I had to ... to get away from the reporters..." I mumbled.

"I didn't know you were pregnant. didn't even consider it. If I had.. God. .. I swear to God I wouldn't have left you alone. But.. But what's done is done. I can't undo it. Neither can you. So we'll just have to agree to put it all behind us. Start something new, together, We don't have to fall in love again but we can respect each other and like each other enough to do the right thing for our son... can't we?" Jimin appealed.

"Okay." I said finally. Too tired to say anything else. There was just too much baggage between us, for it to ever truly work, i thought miserably. But he was right.

It wasn't really about us was it?

Jin Soo would grow up someday and it would be better if he had a complete family. And it's ridiculous how much a mother can be willing to give up for her son. I felt tears sting. I'd been through hell and back, nearly died ,  giving birth to him.

I'd go through it all over again if it meant giving him the life he deserved.

Even if it meant staying with a husband who believed the worst of me.

"It's getting late. I should be going home." I said nervously glancing at the darkening sky.

"About that. Would you like to stay here the night? We have a press conference in the morning and.."

"No.." I said panicking.

Jimin rolled his eyes.

"There's a guest bedroom .. I'm not going to force myself on you..." He said impatiently.

I stared at him.

"I have to open the bakery at seven." I said softly. He shrugged.

"I'll drive you down there. You look like you're going to collapse any second. Jin Soo's already asleep with his cousins.."

cousins. '

Family. My son had a family now. The one thing that I'd always felt so incapable of giving him. 

"Will you... wake me up at seven then?" I said nervously.

My phone was out of charge. usually my body clock was enough to wake me up but I couldn't rely on it when I was so tired and in a different place.

"I'd have to sleep with you then..." He said casually.

The air between us shifted and I felt my breath catch.

Silence.

"Would it be so bad? To sleep with me again?" He said gently and I looked at him in disbelief. He had changed into a grey shirt that hung loose around his collarbones and I noticed that he still had that little dip over his chest to the left of his shoulder, deep enough to hold water. I'd traced, my fingers,  lips, and tongue over that cleft a million times.

"I think it would be the worst mistake of my life." I said , voice trembling.

He sighed.

"We were so good together. At least in the bedroom. I remember that." His voice was husky and I felt my thighs clench involuntarily. He noticed.

Suddenly he moved towards me, quickly, and he was close, so close, nearly touching as he reached out, wrapped one arm around my waist, around me but not touching me at all and I froze in shock. I couldn't throw his arm off because he wasn't touching me. Even though it felt like he was.

"You'll have to do it. Eventually When we marry. To make the marriage legal. " He hummed , bending low till his breath hit the side of my face. He still wasn't touching me but he was all around me. He was everywhere and the scent of clean male skin and shampoo , the sight of his wet hair so close was driving my inhibitions down, but simultaneously driving my terror up.

"Jimin... don't." I choked out.

"It will be hard. to live here together in the same house...under the same roof. Knowing how good we can be together. Knowing how fucking fantastic we can be together..." He said, voice husky and dripping with promise . i shut my eyes.

"Get away from me. Or I'm calling a cab and getting out of here. " I said voice surprisingly steady. He looked like he'd been slapped.

Silence.

"Fine. I'll back off tonight. But in two days we're getting married. And you're coming back into my life. And my bed. Even if i have you to drag you there. "  He said angrily, Then he turned around and stalked off.

I swallowed.

It was better this way. I was better at dealing with angry Jimin , rather than the one who wanted to start fresh.

The one who reminded me too much of the man I'd fallen in love with once.

[iloveyoupittsburghpirates-blog]

Until We Meet Again, Pittsburgh Pirates

My Dearest Pittsburgh Pirates,

I’ll give you this: you finished strong. The 2017 baseball season ended for you yesterday and you finished with a record of 75-87 by going 4-2 in your final week. You were only a measly seventeen games out of first place but the good news you avoided finishing in last place by seven games. Way to go! This season will go down as even more disappointing than last season and you were coming off a 98 win year in 2015. This one hurt more because last year you expected, at least slightly, to take a step back. A.J. Burnett retired, Neil Walker has been traded, and you were still trying to fill the void left by Edinson Volquez’s departure the year before that. The “bridge year” had ended and it looked like the young staff could take steps forward. You can argue that it did but the offense took about thirty steps back. Losing Kang to the Visa, Marte to the suspension, Matt Joyce and SRod to free agency, and Polanco to multiple hamstring injuries cost you over sixty homers. That’s a lot especially when the league destroyed the record for most overall homers hit in one season. That immediately puts you at a huge disadvantage. Obviously some of those things were out of your control (i.e. Kang and Marte) but you had opportunities to do something about it and you didn’t. Maybe you knew this roster wasn’t where it needed to be without them. I don’t know. I do know that after back to back losing seasons you need to do something to improve this roster. You can’t stick with the status quo and expect things to change.

Could this be it? Everyone treated the final two home games of the year on Tuesday and Wednesday against the Orioles as if they could be Andrew McCutchen’s last in front of the Pittsburgh crowd. I still think the chances of that are very slim but it’s important to give one of the greatest players in franchise history his due just in case it comes to fruition. Cutch gave the home crowd a show on Tuesday night and they paid him back in full. Cutch hit his first career grand slam in a 10-1 smashing of the Orioles. The relief Cutch showed rounding the bases showed how much it meant to him. He took a curtain call after the fans wouldn’t relent and that would be his first of three that evening. He hit a three-run homer later which garnered another standing ovation and a tip of the cap. The final one came when Clint Hurdle made the classy move of sending Cutch out to play defense only to immediately pull him so the crowd could give him a much deserved round of applause. He went 4 for 4 in that game with two homers and eight RBI’s. I’m glad Pittsburgh acknowledged what Cutch has done for this franchise just in case it’s over. I believed for a long time we would never see a winning season again and never see a player of Cutch’s capabilities step onto the field in a Pirates’ uniform. Talk about the pitching all you want but we don’t make three straight playoffs if Cutch isn’t on your roster. Hell, we very well might still have the consecutive losing seasons streak going without him. He is a generational player. After an abysmal start to this year, he finished with splits of .279/.363/.486 for a .849 OPS, 28 homers, and 88 RBI’s. He even added eleven steals and played a far more respectable center field. Cherish the moments you watched him play. Cherish him handing his batting gloves to two elated kids in San Diego. Cherish an MVP winner. Cherish a man who loved to play for this city. Cherish a man who made you a winner again. This dedication might be pointless right now if he’s standing in center field on opening day next year but, in case he’s not, thank you Cutch for helping me believe in Pirates’ baseball again. You are easily my favorite Pirate that I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching in person.

In a down year, you look for silver linings in order to keep you optimistic moving forward. Obviously, Cutch’s bounce back was a big one. Josh Bell becoming a home run hitter and looking like he has the potential to be a corner stone piece was gigantic. Felipe Rivero becoming one of the best closers in baseball was a lovely surprise. I think the biggest surprise though might be the performance of Trevor Williams. When quality starting pitching is so hard to find, you can’t overstate how important Williams breakout season could be. Williams 4.07 ERA and 1.31 WHIP look decent especially for the number four or five guy in your rotation but when you see his second half numbers it’s becomes even more interesting. In the first half of the season, his ERA was 4.80. That included his first start in Los Angeles when he got tagged for ten runs. In the second half, his ERA was 3.35. His WHIP has actually remained fairly consistent in the two halves. First half it was 1.27 and second half it was 1.35. Those aren’t WHIP’s that blow you away but they are decent and, given it’s his first season starting in the majors, there’s reason to believe that could improve. His FIP’s were about the same as well with the first half at 4.06 and 3.99 in the second half. His strikeouts increased in the second half of the season but so did his walks which would explain his increase in WHIP. He stranded 64% of the runners he put on base in the first half and improved to strand 78% of runners after that. These are all very encouraging numbers. When you remember that you acquired Williams from the Marlins as compensation for pitching guru, Jim Benedict, taking a position there, it seems like a smart move. When you learn that Benedict was fired by new CEO Derek Jeter this weekend, the move looks brilliant. I don’t know if Williams can continue to perform at this level but there’s reason to believe that you have found your number four starter for now and for the future.

Jameson Taillon finally looked like an ace caliber pitcher again on Saturday night against the Washington Nationals. The Nationals didn’t have anything to play for but they still had their normal starting lineup in there and Taillon dominated. He pitched seven innings allowing four hits, one run, one walk, and striking out five. We haven’t seen this Taillon since his return from testicular cancer and if that’s not a good enough reason to give someone leeway than nothing is. Taillon has the ability to be a true ace and his ceiling could even be higher than Gerrit Cole’s. I don’t know what the state of the rotation will be next season but I’m optimistic. If they don’t trade Cole, which is possible, they have someone who pitched almost 200 innings and struck out almost 200 hitters. His home run numbers have to decrease significantly for him to be a force but given that he gave up more than two and a half times the amount of homers this year than he has in any other season, there’s hope that this was an anomaly. With Williams at the four and options like Chad Kuhl, Steven Brault, and Nick Kingham at the five, the only person you really need to get back on track is Ivan Nova which might be easier said than done after his poor second half (5.83 ERA, 1.61 WHIP). You would like to think that Tyler Glasnow could be a part of this conversation too but seeing as he can’t pitch three innings without walking five to six batters, he’s in the “worthless until proven otherwise” category. I’m not certain the rotation will be great or even good next year. I do have more confidence in this staff than I have had in the last two and I believe they are in better position for next year than the offense.  Let’s hope these pitchers play up to their potential and that you find a way to improve the offense.

I bitch and complain a lot. I harp on the mistakes you make over and over again. I have the luxury of sitting in the peanut gallery and analyzing everything you do with a microscope without knowing everything that goes on behind the scenes. It’s weekends like this past one that put things into perspective. Sports are fun. I take them as or more seriously than anyone else and sometimes you realize they only matter so much. When you see the devastation in Puerto Rico or the senseless massacre in Las Vegas, you remember that sports only have one responsibility: to entertain. Enjoy them. Enjoy them more than I sometimes do. That’s why they exist. I could complain more about a disappointing season but instead I’m going to thank you for being there. Thank you for giving me something to focus on, even once in a while, to take my mind off the insanity that’s out there. Many things need to drastically change to prevent tragedies like this but they don’t happen in a baseball blog. I tell you how much I love you all the time, and I do, but right now I want to say I love you to all the people who make my life worth living. You don’t know what could happen next and you never want to be in a situation wishing you would have said it more. To the people that read this, to my family, and to my friends, I’m grateful for you every day. These are difficult times and the one thing no one can stop you from doing is loving. I know this has devolved into schmaltz and cheesiness but there are few days when it’s felt more appropriate. Be more compassionate. Be more appreciative. I know I will be. We have a long fight ahead of us to stop horrific tragedies like today. All I currently have is the power of words so I will just want to say it once more: Thank you, all. I love you dearly.

                                   With Sincere and Desperate Hope For a Better Tomorrow,

                                                                                           Brad

P.S. stands for the Pittsburgh Steelers who got their season back on track with a huge win on the road against the division rival, Baltimore Ravens. You grinded out a 26-9 win on the back of great defense and Le’Veon Bell having his first real Le’Veon Bell type day (186 yds from scrimmage and 2 TD’s). You are now 3-1 and standalone at the top of the division ahead of the Ravens (2-2), Bengals (1-3), and Browns (0-4). You get only your second home game in five weeks on Sunday against the Jacksonville Jaguars. You are 3-1, you have had one home game, and your franchise QB has been above average at best. I’ll take it…