#watched Ep 5 two nights in a row and cried both times

[wanderingrain]

How does life continue to move forward after the Rooftop Scene TM? The way Pran, for one moment, allows himself to take the one thing he wants most in the whole world into his shaking hands. The way their tears fall at the same time right before they move towards each other. The music that feels like everything's about to change but also like coming home. The way Pat just stares at Pran before he even walks up to him and then just keeps staring because he's ready to give in, ready to admit to himself that he's in love with this boy, possibly has been forever but never noticed.

The way Pran tries to put on his Everything's Fine façade but just can't because you can see the pain in his eyes. The way he calls Pat out for sending him mixed signals, the first time he's ever hinted at his feelings for Pat. The way Pat kisses him first and it feels like relief. The way Pran pulls him back in for a second kiss because if this is all he's allowed, he's going to make it count. The way they're so desperate for each other.

The way Pat's hands clench at the back of Pran's head. The way Pran's sweaterpaw hand comes up to hold Pat's neck and cheek. The way you can tell how much Pran loves him from how delicately he holds him. The way the first time the separated, Pran was the first one to open his eyes and the second time Pat is because Pran knows when he opens his eyes it's all over.

The way Pat is so happy and relieved because this is just the beginning for him. The way Pran finally shatters because he's been in love for so long, has had years and years of telling himself that they'll never work out, that his love is a tragedy. The way Pat's whole world pieces itself together just as Pran's breaks apart. The way Pran walks away broken. The way Pat slowly realizes something's wrong. The way his face goes from relief to heartbreak. The way their parents messed them up so much.

How can we move on from this moment? How does the world keep turning?