#watch me learn how to graphic design in real time

[waning-and-waxing]

happy public release for Fields of Asphodel (@chrysanthemumgames)!!

[infizero]

Why Ambrosius and Ballister’s Relationship Feels So Different in the Movie (Nimona)

As someone who read Nimona countless times growing up, I am very familiar with the story and these characters. Which is why when I watched the movie, I was struck by how different Ambrosius and Ballister felt. They seemed like totally different and unfamiliar characters to me, and it didn’t have anything to do with their designs.

After rereading the original Nimona graphic novel recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that the main reason they feel like completely different characters in the movie comes down to one thing: the removal of the joust.

When I watched the movie, I was surprised by the fact that they changed the circumstances that drove these two apart. But it didn’t hit me just how much this one event shapes both of their characters and their relationship to each other until I reread the book. 

The joust is CRUCIAL to their dynamic. It pervades every interaction they have with each other, they bring it up constantly, it is literally the crux of their collective storyline. We learn about it on PAGE 5 of the whole book, and their big heart-to-heart when Ballister is captured near the climax of the story is based around Ambrosius finally admitting the truth about what happened. Honestly I’d say that him finally coming to terms with what he did and apologizing for it is probably what allowed these two to finally find peace together by the end of the book.

We get something similar to it in the movie. Ambrosius still is responsible for Ballister losing his arm, but it is under WILDLY different circumstances. So I want to talk about how the joust affects them in the book, and then explain why the movie’s version of events, while similar on the surface, has a completely different effect on everything. So let’s get into it!

(All images of the book are via pictures of my own physical copy btw, so apologies if they’re not the best quality.)

(Also I want to make it clear that I don’t hate the movie nor its adaptation of these two. I do personally greatly prefer the book, but this post is not here to tear down the movie and exclaim that the book was way better. I just find it interesting how changing one event can have huge ripple effects!)

Part 1: The Graphic Novel (AKA: “My Boyfriend Shot Off My Arm Because of His Wild Ambition!”)

Like I said before, we learn about the joust very early on; Chapter 2, page 5. It is told to us first via Ballister’s perspective. Nimona asks if she can kill Ambrosius while they’re making evil plans, and Ballister says no -- if anyone is going to kill Ambrosius, it’s going to be him. We then get a flashback to the joust itself.

Ballister explains how they were friends and how the joust was the first time they had been pitted against each other. Ballister won fair and square, but in his words:

BALLISTER: “but Ambrosius hates to lose.”

BALLISTER: “He always claimed it was an accident. No one could prove otherwise.”

BALLISTER: “Turns out the Institution had no use for a one-armed hero. I took the only other viable option.”

Ambrosius used a weaponized lance and blasted Ballister’s arm off. After the incident, Ballister was rejected by the Institution, and became a villain instead of the hero he had originally set out to be.

In Chapter 3 we see Ambrosius appear for the first time, and he and Ballister have a very relaxed sort of cartoon hero-villain dynamic going on. There’s definitely real animosity between them, but they don’t hesitate to simply talk casually to each other or help each other when things go south. It’s all pretty lighthearted and lowkey. 

They fight briefly, but after Nimona triggers the building they’re in to self-destruct, Ambrosius doesn’t hesitate to help Ballister escape and Ballister doesn’t hesitate to accept his help. Ambrosius even tries to reassure him that Nimona will be fine. After they make it out, with Nimona presumed dead, Ambrosius puts a hand on his shoulder and tells him to go before more guards show up. They may be “arch-nemesises”, but they certainly don’t act like it.

AMBROSIUS: “Haven’t you missed our fights? We haven’t done this since you tried to clone the king’s daughter!”

BALLISTER: “Ambrosius, I really don’t have time for this.”

AMBROSIUS: “Are you trying to make me jealous?”

BALLISTER: “You’re an idiot.”

By the way, I’m not going to be doing a full breakdown of every single scene with them, don’t worry. I just think that their first interaction shows off their dynamic very well. This is presumably how they’ve been with each other since the incident, as it’s made clear both here and throughout the book that they’ve both been doing this for a while at this point. They have a very established dynamic, which is important as that is one of the big differences between the book and the movie. (I’ll get into that more later.)

Whenever these two interact throughout the book, it’s clear that they have very different opinions on the incident that drove them apart and how their relationship functions now.

Ambrosius tries to act like it was simply an accident and that it doesn’t matter. Ballister became a villain of his own volition, and now they are arch-nemesises who have to fight because that’s their job -- though he doesn’t exactly act like he hates Ballister. 

Meanwhile Ballister saw it as a deep betrayal, and while he definitely still cares deeply about Ambrosius, he cannot get over the incident as easily as Ambrosius can.

Their respective feelings about what happened are shown perfectly in the scene in Chapter 7 where Ambrosius invites Ballister to meet with him in secret. Ambrosius tells him that the Institution has ordered him to kill Nimona and begs him to send her away, both so he doesn’t have to kill her and so things can go back to “normal.” Ballister then says that Ambrosius gave up normal at the joust.

AMBROSIUS: “I can’t believe you’re still hung up about that. It was a long time ago, you know.”

AMBROSIUS: “Besides, it was an ACCIDENT.”

BALLISTER: “I bet you’ve said that so many times you’ve started to actually believe it.”

Ambrosius insists it was an accident, and Ballister claims that he blasted off his arm because he couldn’t stand that Ballister was better than him. This sets Ambrosius off and they begin to argue.

AMBROSIUS: “You can’t blame me for how your life turned out! You made the choice to turn evil!”

BALLISTER: “Choice? I never had a choice! The Institution needed a villain. That lot fell to me. I never chose it.”

BALLISTER “And it could just as easily have been you, had that “accident” happened differently!”

AMBROSIUS: “Oh please! Do you really believe that?”

AMBROSIUS: “You never had it in you to be a hero! Everyone always knew that you were going to be the one to go bad!”

Ambrosius has convinced himself that Ballister chose to become evil, and that he isn’t responsible for what happened because it was an accident. We later learn that it wasn’t an accident though, which means that this really is him just making excuses so he doesn’t have to accept responsibility.

Ballister brings up the idea of Ambrosius becoming like him again after they fight, in one of if not my favorite scene between them in the whole book:

AMBROSIUS: “uugghh”

BALLISTER: “What if I cut off your arm right now?”

BALLISTER: “Then you’d see how fast the Institution would cast you aside. Just like they did me.”

AMBROSIUS: “You wouldn’t.”

BALLISTER: “No, I wouldn’t.”

BALLISTER: “And I’m the villain.”

BALLISTER: “What do you suppose that says about you?”

Ballister and Ambrosius are both very complicated individuals, and I think they lose a lot of their moral grayness in the movie. (Which I will get to later.) 

Ambrosius is the “hero”, but it was his ambition that drove him to blast Ballister’s arm off, and he’s never accepted responsibility for it, instead trying to convince himself that Ballister turned out this way because of his own actions. But he doesn’t disagree here that the Institution would throw him out if he were to lose his own arm, which I think is very telling. He knows deep down that he is not a good person, and he is not working for good people. But he doesn’t want to admit it.

Ballister is the “villain”, but in many ways he is better than Ambrosius. He abides by his own rules of never killing unless it’s necessary, and goes out of his way throughout the book to make sure that as few people are harmed as possible. He knows that the Institution is corrupt, because he was one of the people it failed. And he works to try and bring it down. 

Ambrosius cannot accept what happened, and because of that they aren’t able to get anywhere. They both know it wasn’t an accident. But because Ambrosius cannot admit it, they are stuck like this.

It’s a fascinating part of Ambrosius’ character that though he is adamant about Ballister being the one to destroy himself, he still cares about him. Much more openly than Ballister does in return, in fact. Ambrosius consistently does whatever he can to avoid having to kill him and always seems to have his wellbeing in mind. While he initially refused to kill Nimona, revolted at the idea that he should be ordered to kill “a little girl”, he eventually agrees to do so, but only under the condition that Ballister would be spared.

THE DIRECTOR: “Your motivations are quite transparent. I KNOW what the nature of your relationship was. I made it clear at the time that I disapproved. If your fixation on him has impeded your ability to do your job, then he truly has outlived his usefulness.”

THE DIRECTOR: “We’ll find you a new nemesis. Perhaps you will be more competent without Blackheart as a distraction.”

AMBROSIUS: “I won’t kill him. If you demand I kill the girl, I’ll do it - but I won’t kill him.”

Despite him and Ballister’s separation being his fault, he is the one who wishes most for things to go back to the way they were.  And this is likely why he refuses to accept responsibility about the joust. If it were truly an accident, then there shouldn’t be anything preventing them from continuing to be together. By painting it as an accident, Ballister becomes the villain for refusing to move on and let things go back to the way they were, not Ambrosius.

But finally, after Nimona disappears and Ballister lets himself be captured, we get probably the most important scene between these two. Ambrosius has been demoted due to his failure to kill Nimona, and is now forced to guard Ballister’s cell. Ambrosius is at his lowest that he’s been throughout the story, disgraced and discarded by the Institution who he had always been so loyal to.

It’s notable that Ambrosius says here that they both know Ballister is not evil, since he has been paddling that idea this whole time that Ballister made the choice to turn evil. By admitting that he is not, it shows that he is both starting to turn against the Institution, and starting to be more honest about what really happened.

Naturally, after Ambrosius wonders how things ended up like this and reminisces on when they were together, Ballister once again brings up the joust. And finally...

AMBROSIUS: “I- I never wanted to hurt you. I- I didn’t- It was-”

BALLISTER: “Don’t you dare try to tell me again that it was an accident.”

AMBROSIUS: “It wasn’t.”

...he admits the truth.

Ambrosius shares his side of the story, letting both us and Ballister in on what really happened that day. It wasn’t fully his fault -- the Director had called him into her office the night before the joust and told him that he had promise, that he was her choice out of the two, but that he had to prove himself against Ballister or that opportunity would go away.

On the day of the joust, Ambrosius received a weaponized lance instead of his regular one, which he instantly noticed. He asked what the Director expected him to do with it, and was told that she expected him to win.

To Ambrosius’ credit, he had no intention of using it, as he was confident that he would win. But the weight from the weaponized lance threw his balance off, and he ending up losing. And so...

AMBROSIUS: “I wanted it, more than anything. You never wanted it as much as me. You were just BETTER, without hardly even seeming to try.”

AMBROSIUS: “I don’t even remember- but I must have-”

[...]

AMBROSIUS: “I’m sorry, Ballister. I’m so sorry.”

To be fair, Ambrosius is not entirely to blame here. I doubt he would’ve come up with this idea on his own; he only acted on it because the Director had already given him the weaponized lance, and stressed the night before that the opportunities she dangled in front of him would not be given to him if he did not win. He was manipulated.

But he still made the decision to do it. He could’ve simply not used the lance. But he chose to. It is his fault.

It’s fascinating that the version of events Ambrosius had been swearing by this entire time is the exact opposite of what really happened. He claimed that it was an accident, he didn’t choose to do it, he had no choice, and that it was Ballister’s choice to become evil that caused all of this. But in reality, Ambrosius was the only one who got a choice here. And that choice is why their relationship was destroyed.

Ballister then brings attention to something even more damning:

BALLISTER: “You’ve never said it before.”

AMBROSIUS: “What?”

BALLISTER: “You never said you were sorry.”

AMBROSIUS: “I- didn’t?”

AMBROSIUS: “Oh god.”

I feel like you could interpret this in a lot of different ways, but the way I see it, they probably didn’t see each other much right after the incident. Ambrosius was catapulted into stardom as the kingdom’s beloved knight, and Ballister became a villain. I don’t think they really interacted much until their hero-villain antics started up, so I don’t think Ambrosius really had a chance to apologize. And if he did, he didn’t think to. Regardless of why, I do think it is messed up that he never apologized, and it goes to show just how much this event destroyed the bond they used to have.

From here, there’s not too much, as Plot Stuff starts getting serious around this point. Ambrosius ends up betraying the Institution after they continuously attack Ballister to provoke Nimona, attacking the guards who are holding him. This is when Ambrosius finally chooses Ballister over the Institution, which is great for his character, but there’s not really much more than that to say about it.

He and Ballister plan together to try and save the kingdom, with Ambrosius being adamant that they have to kill Nimona while Ballister refuses to. It’s during this conversation that Ambrosius mentions that he “never did anything good [his] whole life”, which is really sad but also kind of accurate, and it goes to show how he’s finally accepted responsibility for everything he’s done and had a part in up to this point.

Eventually Ballister is able to find a way to nerf her and they split up, with Ambrosius wanting to tell him something in case they don’t see each other again, but Ballister shuts him down.

BALLISTER: “We can’t do this now. Just... just promise me you won’t get yourself killed.”

It’s easy to assume this was something romantic and it likely was, but I imagine Ambrosius could’ve also wanted to say sorry again for everything. Perhaps it would’ve been a mix of both.

Regardless, they split up and climax stuff happens: Ambrosius attempts to kill Nimona but gets seriously injured, Ballister tries to reason with Nimona, etc. etc. Eventually at the very end, we see that these two have made peace and are together again, living on after everything. And that’s these two in the book!

Whew. I know that was a lot, but don’t worry. I won’t be going into as much detail about the movie’s version of events, as Ambrosius and Ballister have a much more cut-and-dry dynamic there than in the book. Their relationship in the original is very complex, so I wanted to make sure I covered all of those little nuances.

The joust is what defines their relationship and a lot of their respective characters; it is unimaginably important. Ballister became a villain because he lost his arm and was cast aside by the Institution. Ambrosius became the kingdom’s hero because he took Ballister out of the picture. They are unable to be around each other normally for very long because of their divided views of what happened. It is only after Ambrosius finally faces the truth that they are able to find peace together once more.

All of this is to say that it’s extremely hard to imagine what their relationship would be like in the graphic novel had the joust not happened the way it did. Which brings us to...

Part 2: The Movie (AKA: “My Boyfriend Sliced Off My Arm Because I Literally Killed Someone!”)

Before we start, I want to again stress that I am not trying to argue that any changes made here are inherently inferior. I am merely pointing out the differences between the book and the movie that contribute to the overall dissonance I and many others have felt when it comes to these two across versions.

Right off the bat, we are greeted with the movie’s version of Ambrosius and Ballister’s backstory. Like was implied in the book, they appear to be together (or something along those lines) which is great to actually see. But it quickly becomes clear that the events here are far different.

Instead of a joust, it is a knighting ceremony. There is no competition between Ballister and Ambrosius here. Ambrosius is knighted and cheered for, and then it is Ballister’s turn. He is knighted and everyone is silent before breaking into cheers as well. And then...

...his sword suddenly turns into a cannon and kills the queen. And in retaliation...

...Ambrosius chops his arm off.

Now if you’ve listened to ANYTHING I’ve said so far, this should immediately set off alarm bells. Because this one little difference changes everything about these two’s dynamic.

In the book, Ambrosius shot off Ballister’s arm in order to win his position. It was an entirely selfish and evil action spurred on only by his uncontrollable want to be the winner.

But here, Ambrosius is debatably justified in his response. Sure, he didn’t have to be as drastic as slicing his whole arm off (and I know there’s symbolism there with how the kingdom has taught people to get rid of problems), but Ballister -- to him -- literally just shot the queen. The queen who Ambrosius has sworn to protect. It is completely reasonable for him to respond in this way. And that’s a huge difference.

By changing this, we already have a completely different situation. Ambrosius here didn’t particularly want to cut Ballister’s arm off, it was a reflex, a response to a sudden danger. (Not saying he wanted to in the book, but there he made the deliberate decision to do so. In the movie it seems much more like an actual accident -- an overreaction that he immediately regrets and, as we’ll see, continues to regret.) And there was justification for it. There was no justification for it in the book. 

Instead of an Ambrosius whose ambition caused him to commit an evil act of betrayal against the man he was closest to, we now have an Ambrosius who, in the heat of the moment, overreacted like he was trained to after Ballister seemingly betrayed him. We’ll see over the course of the movie how this affects things, but that’s not the only major change here.

As we figure out shortly afterward, the movie makes a huge change when it comes to how the story functions, and that’s the timeline of events. In the book, the joust and the subsequent fallout between Ballister and Ambrosius happened years ago. We don’t know how long, but it’s clearly been a while. Enough time has passed where they are fully settled into their roles as hero and villain, and they look significantly younger in the flashbacks as well.

Like previously stated, book Ballister has been a villain for a while. He is completely settled into this role and has been making schemes and having fights of the week with Ambrosius for a considerable time. He knows what he’s doing. He has his own way of doing things, and when Nimona inserts herself into his life much of their early dynamic is him teaching her how he does things. In the book, Ballister is the teacher, Nimona is the student.

But in the movie, this incident just happened. It's unclear how exactly long it's been, but judging from Ballister's arm being created and his wounds healing it's probably been around a month.

Regardless of exactly how long it's been, the point is that these events are still very fresh. Ballister seemingly has just been laying low, not villain-ing it up, and he and Ambrosius haven't seen each other since the knighting ceremony. This changes literally everything about Ballister’s character. This post is specifically about Ambrosius and Ballister’s dynamic and not a Ballister character analysis so I’ll try to keep it brief, but movie Ballister seriously could not be more different from the book.

Compare this to movie Ballister, who I’m pretty sure never knows what he’s doing ever, at any point. He was training to be a knight. He has seemingly never once questioned the Institution. Now he has suddenly lost his arm and been thrust out into the unknown of being treated as a villain, and he has no idea how to handle it. Then Nimona shows up, tells him “hey, the Institution sucks”, and eventually he ends up believing so as well. In the movie, Nimona is the teacher, Ballister is the student.

Book Ballister actively resents the Institution and has no doubts that what they did to him is wrong. He has been plotting their downfall for a while. Nimona, on the other hand, seems to be out of the loop when it comes to the Institution and seemingly only starts hating them after she finds out how they threw Ballister out. Again, I’d just like to stress how completely and totally opposite their dynamic in the movie is compared to this.

There’s also Ballister being a scientist and being much more jaded in the book, but that’s not really important for the purposes of this post. So alas, I shall move on.

This different timeframe greatly impacts Ambrosius and Ballister’s dynamic, and obviously it would. There is a huge difference between a falling-out that happened years ago and you’re both still bitter about, and a falling-out that happened very recently. This, along with the different course of events resulting in said falling-out, is what causes their dynamic to feel so alien.

Also while talking about their early interactions in the movie, I’d just like to point out that while here Nimona is the one to assume Ambrosius is Ballister’s arch-nemesis and call him such, which Ballister doesn’t agree with, they were actually arch-nemeses in the book. Just something I noticed.

Something else I find interesting is later on, Ballister seems to be almost in disbelief about Ambrosius cutting off his arm and makes excuses for him.

BALLISTER: “He didn’t cut off my arm. He disarmed a weapon.”

BALLISTER: “It’s how we were trained.”

(Side note, but I wonder if book Ballister ever felt this way right after the joust? Did he try to convince himself it was an accident too, once upon a time? Did he try to make excuses?)

And to be fair, he is sort of right. Like I said before, Ambrosius’ reaction to Ballister seemingly killing the queen was debatably justified. While we’re obviously supposed to side with Nimona here and agree that Ballister should be more upset at Ambrosius for what he did, the movie definitely paints Ambrosius as more sympathetic overall. We see him freaking out internally about cutting off Ballister’s arm, and there is a lot of emphasis placed on how he and the others were trained by the Institution, inviting the audience to place more of the blame on the system that taught Ambrosius to act this way rather than him as a person.

And again, I’m not saying this is a bad thing! I love a good "taking down a corrupt system” story, and with the different circumstances of the movie it definitely makes more sense to play it this way. But in comparison to the book, Ambrosius is much easier to sympathize with. His character is changed from a very morally gray person who did something horrible and won’t admit it, to a pretty okay person who did something horrible and wholly accepts and bemoans that fact. He’s almost the opposite of what he was in the book.

So we have an Ambrosius who accepts what he did to Ballister and feels awful about it, and a Ballister who has no idea what he’s doing and is basically just being dragged around by Nimona. With both of them being basically the complete opposite of how they were in the book, is it any wonder that their relationship with each other feels so different when they themselves are so different?

Also, once again, the circumstances are very different. There is no Queen murder plot in the book, nor is their any attempt to clear Ballister’s name. A significantly different setting makes a difference too.

I don’t see a need to go into further detail about specific scenes in the movie as I think I’ve made my point clear. But going back to the movie’s lack of Ambrosius and Ballister’s already established hero-villain dynamic, I think these differences are made quite apparent just contrasting how they talk to each other. I mean, just compare these two scenes:

AMBROSIUS: “What? You’re gonna kill me now too?”

BALLISTER: “You believe that?”

BALLISTER: “Then you never knew me at all.”

AMBROSIUS: “uugghh”

BALLISTER: “What if I cut off your arm right now?”

BALLISTER: “Then you’d see how fast the Institution would cast you aside. Just like they did me.”

AMBROSIUS: “You wouldn’t.”

BALLISTER: “No, I wouldn’t.”

BALLISTER: “And I’m the villain.”

BALLISTER: “What do you suppose that says about you?”

Their relationship in the movie is much softer and healthier than it was in the book. Their dialogue in the movie tends to lean much more towards tried-and-true “friendship betrayal” stuff; the wound of Ballister’s “betrayal” may be fresher, but it’s clear both of them love each other far more than they resent each other. In the book, it is the opposite. The movie could NEVER have the bar fight scene. It’s too ugly and bitter to fit these softer versions of Ambrosius and Ballister.

Part 3: Conclusion

So, that was a lot. I hope it’s a little clearer now how big the differences are between these two’s dynamic in the book and the movie! Especially if you’re someone who is only familiar with one or the other. While I prefer the book due to me tending to prefer more complex and messy relationship dynamics, I totally understand the appeal of the more loving and healthy relationship Ambrosius and Ballister have in the movie.

To summarize, here are some of the main takeaways:

Ambrosius causing Ballister to lose his arm is completely unjustified in the book and happens due to Ambrosius’ wild ambition, while in the movie it is a debatably justified reflexive action in response to an active threat.

Ambrosius overall is portrayed as much more sympathetic in the movie, with the system itself being more to blame for what happened.

In the book, the main thing keeping them apart was Ambrosius’ refusal to take responsibility and admit what he did. In the movie, it’s a misunderstanding about Ballister seemingly turning evil.

In the book, Ambrosius and Ballister have a very established hero-villain dynamic with the joust having happened years ago. In the movie the “betrayal” is still very fresh, which leads to very different interactions between the two.

And that’s about it! Thank you for reading this very long post. And if you haven’t read the original graphic novel or watched the movie, go do that!!! Much love to ND Stevenson and the rest of the people who made this story come to life.

Let me know your thoughts in the tags or the replies! Which version do you prefer? Are there any other factors you feel have a significant role in why their relationship feels so different? Or do you think I’m totally wrong about this and they feel basically the same to you?

Either way, thanks again for reading and goodbye!

[hollowtones]

I've been thinking of getting into oldschool runescape, but I don't have any friends who play it. I like watching videos of it on youtube, but that doesn't give the best idea of what it's actually like to play. So I wanted to ask, what is it that you enjoy about the game and why?

Graphical and sound limitations are played with in fun ways. Quest design is largely very fun. It feels like an old 90s point and click adventure game but also you can go online people-watching at the same time. I can play it as a largely-solo experience, which... kind of makes it feel not very much like an MMORPG, in a few regards? But sometimes you get to have a chat with strangers while you fish or butcher weird tongue guys, and sometimes that's nice.

There's a very large amount of somewhat esoteric mechanics that all kind of intermingle with each other in mostly interesting ways, and I like when games do that if the mechanics are fun to engage with. (It's part of why I enjoy stuff like "Warframe" for the same reasons others find it intimidating or overwhelming! I like having a big box of toys to play with and going "okay I will play with my trucks today & tomorrow I might play with my dolls"!) It's an itch a lot of games don't scratch because deciding "we're going to make something old and rough and clanking and massive and complex & then we're throwing you in to figure it out amongst yourselves" is daunting and difficult to design and largely a product of Many Many Years Of Being A Video Game. But it works well here in my experience. I think it helps that all the individual pieces of how content works, & how you control the video game (it's all point and click babyyyyy) are all relatively simple to grasp.

You can go wherever the fuck you want and engage with whatever contents of the game you want in any particular order. It's a sandbox! There is no real concrete end of the game! There is no overarching goal unless you want there to be one! The game is either done when you want it to be or it's done when you have done literally everything there is to do in it. (It feels like the antithesis of "Final Fantasy XIV" in a way? That one's designed to be a traditional JRPG linear structure that's built around multiplayer / social mechanics. It's interesting contrast IMO.) And that's cool! And doing any individual bit can feed into unlocking other things, or providing resources for other tasks or challenges or goals, but you can also just decide "I just want to fish and that's it" and there's a lot the game does to support that and make that as compelling and engaging as you want it to be! Some of that's going to be a grind, but the grind (improvement over time, the celebration of labour and hard work for its own sake, learning a trade or a skill or a hobby) is kind of the point. The grind isn't going to be for everyone and that's fine. It's for me. I respect it being so unflinching in being the sort of video game that it is.

This is a sidebar (and a low bar at that) but I also appreciate it not being crammed full of microtransactions and advertisements. LOL

[airenyah]

Get to Know Me Tag :)

was tagged by @telomeke, @ranchthoughts, and @callipigio <3

do you make your bed?

not usually. both in my room at my parent's flat and now in my own flat as well i don't have a couch to hang out on and so i tend to spend a lot of time in my bed during the day bc it's more comfortable there. why make my bed in the morning if i mess it up soon enough anyway? i'll only make my bed when i'm trying to feel/look neat (like for example when people who i don't really know come over)

what's your favourite number?

23! elementary school me was veeery creative in choosing this number.... (my birthday is on a 23rd) anyway this number stuck with me and now it's just part of my personality hahaha

what is your job?

i'm a uni student and i don't have a "fixed" job where i'm employed and get money every month, but i have been working at a specific theater every summer since 2022. this year i'm actually the official assistant director. the rehearsals haven't properly started yet, but i've already one or the other task for it. can't wait for june when we're finally starting with the rehearsals!!!!!!!

if you could go back to school, would you?

depends... compulsory schooling that they make you go through from age 6 to age 15?? HELL NO. adult education? catch me taking 434353 courses on 434353 things

can you parallel park?

i don't have a driver's license

a job you had that would surprise people?

i haven't had many jobs in my life and none of them seem very surprising tbh? if you know me, at least i've worked as a graphic designer before, but i don't see how that would be surprising. also, i'm sure that i've mentioned this a few times in my tag ramblings

do you think aliens are real?

i don't think aliens are real but i also don't think aliens are not real. basically, i don't think aliens exist in the way they are depicted in movies, but if nasa came up to me and told me they found some sort of life somewhere else in the universe i'd be like "yeah i'll believe that". the universe is so vast, so it wouldn't surprise me if there really is something out there, but i don't really think about it tbh

can you drive a manual car?

as i said, i don't have a driver's license. but if i did, the answer would be yes. bc as a european you WILL be taught to drive a manual car at driving school. you could also choose to learn how to drive an automatic car, but that's really the exception to the rool. besides, idk what it's like in other countries, but in austria you're allowed to drive manual cars only if you got your license with a manual car. so getting your license with an automatic car limits your options quite a lot

what's your guilty pleasure?

i don't really feel guilty about my pleasures?? i don't always tell people that i'm really into thai bl, but that's less about feeling guilty and more of a "know your target audience" kind of thing.

tattoos?

nope. my brother has a couple of tattoos and he'd love it if i got one (i think he'd like to have a matching tattoo with me), but i can't do needles. but if i ever did get a tattoo, it would probably be something related to sicily. my brother actually has a tattoo of the trinacria

favorite color?

a really shiny dark blue and a really shiny darker red!

favorite type of music?

uhhhh.... good question?? i grew up listening to classical music and i still really like it, but i don't really listen to it anymore. these days i listen to pop music quite a lot? but that's also a very hit and miss for me, bc i tend to get overwhelmed easily with pop music. idk, just show me a song of any genre of music and i'll tell you if i like this particular song or if i dislike it my playlists tend to be full of song i have some kind of emotional connection too, though! so for example, songs that have been in series/movies that i watched or songs that my loved one's have/had in their playlists and that remind me of them, etc...

do you like puzzles?

i don't dislike puzzles, but it's not something that i would think to spend my time with

any phobias?

spiders!! i've had a phobia of spiders all my life. it's gotten a little better now, and how freaked out i am really depends on the size of the spider, where it is, if it's moving, and also how i'm feeling that day. the worst thing that could happen is a spider touching me in any way, so as long as i have enough distance between me and the spider and the spider is stationary, i'm good. i really dislike spiders right above my head, though i also have a phobia of needles. when i was 12 i had to get my blood drawn when i was sick once and i had a panic attack (or something along those lines). i've tried to avoid needles as best as i could ever since... and as a child i also had a fear of vomit. people vomiting still makes me uncomfortable, but at least i no longer run away and hide behind the door of my room hahaha

favorite childhood sport?

i've never been really athletic but i liked swimming!

do you talk to yourself?

in my own flat when i'm all by myself? yeah!

what movies do you adore?

der schuh des manitu is my problematic fave <3 apart from that, i also adore stardust and tangled and the emperor's new groove and i'm also up for marathoning high school musical, how to train your dragon, pirates of the carribean (1-3), and lord of the rings (extended edition of course) at any given point in time

coffee or tea?

tea!!!!! i LOVE tea!!!!! i had a cup of tea only an hour ago!!!! i'm not big on coffee, apart from a cappucino every once in a while which i also only drink when i'm in italy bc i just don't like it enough to spend 3-4€ on it in austria. coffee flavored things are mostly fine, but coffee as a beverage? not a big fan

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

i don't remember the first thing i wanted to be that wasn't a suggestion by my parents. possibly an actress????

tagging @newyearknwwme @moonkhao @visualtaehyun @celestial-sapphicss @cornflowershade @dimplesandfierceeyes @wack-overflow

as always, feel free to ignore!

[heathened]

tagged by the blessed n beautiful @musicandmasochism thanks babe<3 under a cut bc i kinda went off lol

When was the last time you cried? i am going to be real. it was during the first 20 minutes of troy when i watched it last night lmfao

Do you have kids? unless you count the feral child assassin that is actually my cat, no

Do you use sarcasm a lot? noooooooooooo never

What sports do you play? don't rlly play sports so much as do activities, which are cycling, yoga, taking neighborhood walks (i cannot sing the praises of 'take a little walk for your mental health' enough), and dancing in my kitchen

What’s the first thing you notice about people? prob what they're wearing tbh. and i hope thats what they notice about me<3

What’s your eye color? void brown

Scary movies or happy endings? both?? not together probably lol, but obviously Blog With A Saw Icon loves horror movies. and yet i am also a simp for the people's queen austin powers so i am not immune to it all working out

Any special talents? people irl think i am funny (they don't know my humor is just tumblr posts and lil wayne bars but nonetheless), i think i am particularly good at 2 things: making a sauce and cultivating a vibe lmao

Where were you born? northern california

What are your hobbies? above activities, music (you guys ever heard of this? incredible. ya gotta check it out), uhhhh learning hobbies tbh lol...for the funsies of it all, i've taught myself/learned how to knit, wallpaper, javascript, translate latin, garden, leatherwork, macramé, graphic design, clothing repair, and prob many more niche things in the name of a beloved personal project. oh yeah! i guess i'm a Writer™ or w/e so technically. i like writing more than i don't like it

Do you have pets? a tortoiseshell menace named ahsoka/snips/snippy/sniperella/baby

How tall are you? 5'7"/170cm, tho if i'm not wearing like. Statement Shoes™ with a heel, i am almost always wearing my black boots that add another 2 inches or so. no matter what i usually have a tall vibe hehe

Favorite subject in school? did very well in school and i am litr on my second graduate degree lmao so i'll be honest i love school (it is how i managed to evade an adhd diagnosis until my late 20s like catherine zeta-jones and those lasers)

Dream job? shout out to a mantra of all time: i simply do not dream of labor. BUT it has occurred to me a lot lately that i actually would have been a great production designer because it's basically Vibe Setting as a job and requires 2 things i love: research and continuity

tagging hmmmmmmmm @wutheringdyke @unspuncreature @lovthievs @spouseoftherisingsun n @underthewirez <3333

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 10/17/2023

started explaining why this one is a little lighter than last week's gallery wall behemoth bc of a uhhhh kind of dire week, personally and professionally speaking, but then realized when fic authors do that in front of chapters i don't actually care or require an excuse from them, im just delighted to have a new chapter.

listening

this is a deeply cheesy little folk song but the lyrics "man you name it and if we ain’t got it: we’ll get it" gave me a sensible chuckle.

now for a moment to expound upon houston: they truly have imported every possible food service establishment. the two chains i miss most from jersey, jersey mikes submarine sandwiches and 7-11 gas stations, are both here. i get that this is the fifth largest metro area in the US or whatever but both of these companies are SO niche. absolutely bonkers. spotify.

i think this started autoplaying after a playlist inspired by f/allout: new v/egas came on??

-

reading

i originally had a very mean-spirited graf about the utility of a pool in northwestern massachusetts and the kind of person who can comfortably lose $31k, but it is genuinely awful that there are no rules around zelle. that money goes into a black fucking hole and there's no way to get it back, which is not the case for any other kind of recognized money except cryptocurrency

Did we confront Gary Kruglitz [the pool contractor]? Yes we did. We marched right into his office and grilled him hard until he defeated us with a simple and probing question: What's a zelle? It defied belief, we quickly realized, that a man who had been trapped in technological amber since the Nixon era was running a cyberscam designed to come between us and our money out of an AOL account.

-

watching

Van Helsing (2004, dir. Sommers). this movie is horrible. this movie is terrific. i don't have anything to say about this movie bc i was distracted by equal opportunity tits and asses the entire time. the time of the “Kate Beckinsale in a corset” movie genre is long over but GOD. watched with my sister bc it's leaving tubi soon

playing

one week i will have the energy to try New Thing but until i do it’s genshin. there's a poetry event that has terribly boring minigames, but the story quest has finally tied a bow on a piece of folkore we came across in the very first release so that was fun!

wrapping up some stuff in sumeru bc im running out of map pins, this game has done one of the things i hate most: progress-locking one extremely long and tedious collectible hunt (the music gates) behind another extremely long and tedious collectible hunt (the robots locked in the vines). the next time i see one of those little fucking budget koroks i am going to drop kick it into the sun. what the fuck is the circumference of teyvat anyway. it feels like we have explored so little of this planet's surface

i have graphics turned down pretty low bc of performance issues on my elderly laptop and this is still such a remarkably pretty game. look at this big estuary leading off into the distance

-

making

i wildly overextended myself this week, partially bc im trying to take advantage of this brief post-covid heightened immunity. lot of dinners. lot of late nights. on top of that BOTH of my siblings were in town for unrelated professional reasons this week :) no overlap so we did not have a nice fambly dinner :( but did have pretty okay separate dinners :) if they could learn to fucking communicate their trave plans and the number of peope that will be showing up at my home that would also be pretty okay >:(

one of the party games i played this week asked the question “what could you give a 40-minute PowerPoint presentation on” and i started saying facts about the downfall of the penn central railroad and they very nicely let me continue saying facts about the downfall of the penn central railroad, the largest bankruptcy in US history until ENRON, until the round timer went off.

i have some thoughts about Train Guys and how it's very easy to fall into being a Train Guy, bc there's a very easy template to follow, and there's a lot of Train Guy content, and have i been doing this bc i actually like trains, or bc it's easy to listen to Well There's Your Problem on repeat bc it's familiar and comforting, or do i just really really really fucking hate flying?

who could possibly say.

mackintosh update: allowed herself to be scooped up by my brother (who she met at christmas and loves) but did NOT allow herself to be pet by the strangers in his company. did hang out in the middle of the floor observing tho. a regular little extroverted socialite!

[theselfshippingwitch]

JanAUary - Video Rental Store AU

(Divider by @saradika-graphics)

Ship: Ray x Violet Word count: 1170 Summary: Aspiring horror writer Violet's boring night at her job in the video store gets more lively when an intriguing stranger comes in looking for an obscure tape Rating: General Audiences Notes: For JanAUary run by @bioexorcizm and @eternally-smitten. Thanks for the prompt guys! also both of the movies mentioned in this fic are real look it up

(Banner by @benkeibear)

As far as jobs you take to keep a roof over your head while living in New York City and establishing a writing career go, this one wasn’t so bad. Violet sighed as she sat behind the counter of the video rental store. It was a slow night. Most nights were slow nights. This wasn’t exactly a popular spot, far from a Blockbuster, just a regular mom-and-pop video store, the kind of place you don’t even need a uniform to work at, just a handwritten name tag on your Invisible Man T-shirt you’re wearing with your old jeans and converse sneakers. Violet would fall asleep if she could. She cleaned the shelves and organized and reorganized the tapes. Nothing to do now but wait for customers that weren’t coming.

The door opened beside her. A customer! He smiled as he made eye contact with her. “Hi, there!” He said. It was always awkward when the customer was more sociable than Violet. She still had trouble greeting people as they came in the door. “Hello!” She smiled. He’s cute, she can’t help but notice. Pretty red hair and brown eyes. One of those sweet faces that makes a person look affable right away. Violet watches him as he weaves in and out of the shelves, looking for something and apparently not finding it. He went to the horror section first, she noted. Her favorite. What was he looking for? She thought if she offered her help she could find out. Just as she made up her mind on what to say, he beat her to the punch again.

“Hi again! Do you happen to have a copy of Fiend Without A Face?”

Violet smiled. “Fiend Without A Face?”

“Yeah, it’s this old horror movie from the 50s…” He began to blush and he attempted to explain himself.

“No, I know that movie! It’s one of my favorites!” She couldn’t believe it. He was looking for something so obscure even this tiny little independent video store wouldn’t have it. 

The way he smiled when she said she knew it, the fondness in his eyes, she could have cried. “Really? Mine too! The creature design in that movie is unbelievable!”

“I know! And the stop motion is pretty amazing. It makes me wish the monsters weren’t invisible for most of the movie.”

“Yeah! I’m such a big fan of stop motion, It’s part of the reason why I love these movies from the 50s. Everything is practical, it’s so fascinating to learn how they accomplished everything with not very much. I mean, the stop motion in Fiend is no Ray Harryhausen, but it’s still pretty fantastic!”

“Definitely! I love a good stop motion monster. Most of the other movies from the era just have guys in costume. This movie and The Monster Who Challenged The World are the only two I’ve seen that use stop motion for their monsters.”

“Oh my gosh, The Monster Who Challenged The World! That’s another one of my favorites!”

“Mine too!” 

God, this man was easy to talk to, Violet thought. She couldn’t remember a time she felt so at ease talking to another person, and a stranger, no less. A handsome stranger. A stranger who just got more attractive the more she looked at him.

“So, I take it you don’t have it here?”

“Well, we don’t have it, but I do. I recorded it to VHS when it was playing on TV at 3am once. I keep it in the break room as part of my personal collection for when I can sneak away from the counter.” She leaned in closer, like she was telling a secret someone else besides the only two people in an otherwise empty store could overhear. “Want to see?”

He nodded eagerly. She flipped open the counter for him and he walked behind it. He followed her into the break room, where multiple piles of tapes with handwritten labels were stacked. “These are all yours?” he asked.

“This is the only place where I have time to watch them anymore. When I’m not at this job, I’m writing.” She found the tape she was looking for and popped it in to the player.

“What are you writing?”

“A ghost story.”

“Cool!”

After one or two commercials, the movie began. “Wow, this tape is great!”

"I didn't know how to get the commercials off the tape..." Violet began, apologetically.

"Yeah, but that's alright. It's still really good!"

“Do you wanna borrow it?”

“Really? You would let me do that?”

“Sure!”

“Wow! I promise I’ll bring it right back here. Gee, I wish there was some way I could make it up to you.”

Violet looked at him, still enthralled by the tape, this child-like enthusiasm and energy she just couldn’t get enough of. He was so easy to talk to. She felt like she could say anything. She felt like a different person, someone better than what she normally was. She didn;t have to think ahead, she didn’t have to hesitate. Just say how you feel. “You could invite me to watch it with you.” 

The glowing smile left his face, replaced by an expression of surprise as his face turned red. His eyes met hers, and the smile that came next was different. Shy. Small. “I…O-okay! Yeah, I would like that!” He stuttered as he said it, and for a second Violet panicked, like maybe he felt like she just put him into an awkward situation he couldn’t see a way out of. But then he continued. “But, I was gonna show it to my friends! So, they would be there, too. I hope that’s okay.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Violet said.

“But, maybe you and I could grab dinner sometime! Just us. So we can talk 50s B-movies some more?” He asked, timidly. The switch from such high energy to quiet, unsure shyness was so endearing to Violet, she couldn’t help but feel flattered by his nervousness. 

Now Violet was grinning. ‘Sure!” She realized she had no idea what his name was, and since he wasn’t about to buy anything, she wouldn’t find out through the name on his card. “What’s your name?”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I should’ve introduced myself earlier. I’m Ray.”

“Ray.” She repeated. “Hang on a second.” She went back to the counter and pulled out some receipt paper from the cash register. She wrote down her name and number. “Give me a call any time you wanna talk horror movies.” She popped the tape out of the player and handed it to him, along with the receipt paper. 

“I will!” He practically stumbled out from behind the counter, not taking his eyes off of her. “I’ll see you soon, Violet!”

“Bye, Ray!” She waved, still blushing as he looked at her through the window as he walked down the sidewalk. “Ray…” she repeated softly to herself in the empty store. It seemed quieter than ever now that he was gone. The thought she had to hold on to, in order to get through her shift, was the last words he said to her. They would see each other again, soon.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Encanto (2021)

Encanto is an instant favorite. You watch it once, you’re blown away, you look up its songs and listen to them on repeat. Filled with memorable characters, breathtaking visuals and complicated emotions, there’s something here for everyone.

At the heart of the isolated community of Encanto is Casita, a sentient house that grants magic gifts to the members of the Madrigal family on their 5th birthday. For two generations, the Madrigals have used their abilities to serve their neighbors, except for Mirabel (voiced by Stephanie Beatriz) who mysteriously received no gift. Now 15, Mirabel notices Casita acting strangely and begins investigating. All signs point towards her uncle Bruno (John Leguizamo) - who vanished ten years ago - being tied to an incoming disaster.

Writing my summary of the plot, made me realize how complicated this story is. When animated films were drawn by hand, you usually had one to three central characters and their journey was about their own physical, internal or emotional changes. Once the era of computer-generated imagery began, plots began to shift towards characters who change/explore the world around them. Encanto takes this to a new level. While Mirabel is the protagonist, every member of her extended family & her home is given enough screen time to be called an important character and the story is ultimately about so many topics it’s a wonder they’re all squeezed into the 102-minute running time - keep in mind that includes the credits.

How does “Encanto” do it? By utilizing all the tools at its disposal with peak efficiency. The film begins with a song that lays out the groundwork for everything we need to know about Encanto, Casita and the Madrigal family. The beat and lyrics are so catchy you don’t even realize it’s a deluge of exposition. From there, we’re on a fantastical journey with plenty of real-world equivalents. Maribel’s oldest sister is Isabela (Diane Guerrero) who can make flowers bloom everywhere and can seemingly do no wrong. She always looks perfect and is constantly showered with compliments. Maribel’s second older sister is Luisa (Jessica Darrow). Her superhuman strength allows her to move buildings and everyone knows they can count on her whenever there’s an emergency. Take away the fancy superpowers, look at the family dynamics and who is Maribel? The youngest sister who will never be as good as her other siblings, no matter how hard she tries. It only takes a song and a few lines of interaction for us to “see” all the years these people have had together. Encanto is ultimately a mystery. It’s about Mirabel trying to discover why her uncle disappeared all those years ago. Beneath that, it’s about our responsibilities towards each member of our family and how we want to separate ourselves from them while also remaining connected.

As Maribel investigates her uncle Bruno and his sinister ability to see the future, we learn more about the family. The knowledge we gather often comes in the form of catchy tunes - the best Disney has produced since Moana. They’re accompanied by stunning visuals, the kind that makes you pause and wonder “How did they do that?” You know they didn’t need to get actors and animals to learn any kind of choreography but it’s so well done and there is so much detail packed in every frame you forget you’re watching computer-generated graphics. This is the kind of movie you could watch over and over and always discover something new. Either in the backgrounds, the character designs, the lyrics, the dialogue or the emotions. 

If I had to find a flaw in Encanto it’s that there are a lot of big emotions here that are resolved quickly. Familial and generational trauma, sibling rivalries, resentment because of the expectations (or lack of) placed on you and more. Love sweeps them all away so fast. That’s me looking for something. I can see many people thinking the resolutions make perfect sense and feel genuine because for the large part, they are. The way the film solves the mystery at its core and deals with all of the matters of the heart is exemplary.

Everyone who sees Encanto will find something about it to call their own. This is a beautiful, memorable, emotionally complex film with great characters and top-notch writing. You should see it if only so you can be part of the conversation because once you get going about this 2021 Disney release, you won’t want to stop talking about it. (November 5, 2022)

[maxusmaximum]

My thoughts on Silent Hill 2 remake

I’ve seen a lot of posts talking about Bloober Team and James himself and the more that I watch the trailers and look at the screenshots, I’ve come to realize that we haven’t even seen some of the other characters yet.

One thing that I think makes Silent Hill 2 so incredibly fascinating is its characters and how they emphasize the theme of the story so well. They go through such mental turmoil and we come to learn a lot about them. In many of the cases, what we learn about these characters is never outright said to us and these implications of these characters is what tells us their stories. These implications not only hammer in the theme of the story, but they also set the atmosphere and tone of the game. Descriptions on items like Angela’s knife and how James doesn’t “plan on using this as a weapon” giving us clues on not only Angela as a character, but James. Specifically his In Water ending.

Eddie’s story having hints throughout the entire game, including how and why he came to Silent Hill in the first place. The van cutscene at the beginning of the game and the van that’s shown in the playable first scene. His vomit scene and then the famous pizza scene in greater context when paired up with his dialogue about his physical appearance. His dialogue alone clues us in on his warped reality and mental state. In fact, Angela also has dialogue that clues us in on how the town of Silent Hill doesn’t look the same for both James and her. Once again, big world building and story implications.

The voice acting differences I don’t think will be too bad? However, of course, I will always prefer the original dream like delivery of lines. In the original, I think the line delivery actually adds more to the atmosphere and story if you like to pick apart every little detail ever, intentional or not. It gives the player even more insight into the characters we’re perceiving. Things like the tone shifts and hesitancy in Angela’s lines and the way that Eddie’s voice gives us the vibe that he’s playing dumb with us at times. James’ own dialogue in the first is a pretty damn good way to hammer in his head space, especially in the beginning and how that changes in the second half of the game. He feels so detached from himself, saying things like “I guess I don’t really care what happens to me”.

My point is, changing something in Silent Hill 2 can negatively affect how the story is perceived. Dialogue changes because of possible sanitization or just forgetting something entirely can negatively effect how nicely wrapped this game is. The interactive experience players have with it and how it effects the ending of their game.

We all know Bloober doesn’t have the greatest credibility when it comes to mental health matters in a video game but on the bright side, there are original members of the Silent Hill team working with them on the game. Plus, this isn’t like they’re making a brand new game with all new story. They are working with something that quite literally gives you all the pieces to recreate a gorgeous remake. I know some others are upset at the lighting and the super detailed graphics because they believe it takes away from the horror of the game, and yeah, I mean to an extent I agree. However I actually really like the intense graphics and it’s realness. It’s fresh, I love seeing how the world is reimagined in this way. It makes me feel like I can really be there, that Silent Hill is even more tangible of a place. I think the scares can still be pulled off in the graphics and polished environments that we’ve seen, and actually in some ways can enhance the terror. Art director and creature designer Masahiro Ito is working closely with the team from what I’ve read! This is amazing! This shows how graphic and even more intentional the designs for these monsters can be now! We’ve seen something really exciting, but pretty small as a detail. The ring indent on James’ finger. With detailed graphics, they’ll actually be able to add details that we weren’t able to get in the original. I’m so beyond excited for this alone!

I’m trying to genuinely have hope with the game because I love it so intensely, I don’t think it’ll be too bad. I love reading what other people have to say about it though, it’s just so interesting. What are your thoughts? Maybe things you’re excited for?

[dallonwrites]

cactus, sage & aloe vera for the asks pls! <3

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

ever since i started testosterone and my hunger and appetite went UPPPP i've gotten way more into cooking and baking and food science and it is all so interesting to me! and it's not even from a health/diet pov at all it's just thinking about how food works and how i respond to it and as someone with stomach problems and also autism food sensitivities who basically ate Nothing for the first 20 years of my life it is all very healing!

and bc this is a writeblr a writing thing i'm learning and thinking about a lot is taking inspo form other writers and what that actually means. i've talked about it before but i used to read prose i love and not know what to do with that. i'd get frustrated because i did not understand how the writer was just able to conjure a line like that. and then i was so focused on wanting to reflect that writer that i did not consider where in the reflection my writing would go. i've noticed as i grow more confident in my style i've also grown more confident in how to emulate. sometimes i like to do exercises where i intentionally try to write a Passage That Sounds Like This Writer but it's more of a learning process as to the how of that style, which i then mix with my own writing. now whenever i take inspo from other styles it feels more like a love letter to those writers rather than a sensed need that to be Good at writing i need to Write Like This Person, when not only could i not truly write like that person but that person also could not write like me! that's the beauty of it! i actually reread a short story i loved last year recently and found some of the prose, not bad but i was like hmm not for me anymore! overall i still loved the prose but it showed me how i was able to love a style but still pick out what elements of it i liked and would want to incorporate it on my own vs what i wouldn't do myself (which again, does not make that particular element bad), rather than trying to make a perfect replication

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

ohhh my god okay sorry i have to be that guy who just says All of them. my brain simply refuses to see one type of art as more touching than the other!! it is just not true they all serve different purposes and the same purposes in different ways!! even the ones that are most touching to me personally is so dependent on the time and era. lately i find something that touches me in everything. like fiction will always have a special space in my heart because my creativity is driven by the fact that i can create fully fleshed people in my head where for me everything about them feels real - their emotions, their fears, their joy - and that is something that never fails to amaze me. on the other hand, poetry was the only medium after my mom died where i felt i could process my emotions about that at a time when they didn't make sense yet, because of poetry's space for abstractness. it became like a necessity. and then on another hand i'm amazed by painting and how brushstrokes and style can convey so much it's magic to me. recently when i listen to music i notice different instruments and sounds and how they work together at once and i'm obsessed with it, the ecosystem of it all. every day i become more and more of a cinephile because i'm just obsessed with all the elements of creation in movies - from performance to writing to visuals to soundtracking to sfx to editing - especially in all the 60s-80s films i've been watching for lover boy and how the effects don't always look "realistic" but they are earnest. and statues and embroidery and crotchet and pottery and makeup and nail art and gender expression and graphic design and cooking and i can go on every art medium is storytelling to me. AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT CAVE PAINTINGS??? ROCK PAINTINGS?? EVEN AT OUR MOST PRIMAL WE WERE CREATING! all of it is touching to me!!

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

i want to see the sunrise more often especially coming out of summer where it rises at like 4am i now feel a yearning to get up at like 6am and see it. unfortunately i have Far Too Many sleep problems to be getting out of bed at a time like that

get to know me asks

[cloakchameleon]

I feel like what a lot of artists (popular or not) don’t talk about is that art as a form of a job and a career and taking that road can be very damaging to an artist’s psyche because schools are conditioned to making you productive in art instead of allowing you to enjoy what you do and how to build yourself up to that point.

Maybe not all schools but I know at least for me it felt nice to explore different media of art, being in a room with people who have the same passion as you, and doing what you genuinely love—

—but the reality sets in those classes that there’s so much working against you, the artist, that you’re not fully prepared to experience the mental whiplash of feelings after completing those courses.

I enjoyed college, but after I graduated, my will to draw absolutely died. I couldn’t do much with a pen other than maybe edit pictures, can’t complete pieces, no ideas or real reason to draw because college nailed in my brain that if it doesn’t attract other people or make you money then what’s the point?

and thats where people tend to forget that art is suppose to be joyous! It sucks that we have to be forced to make stuff to get by because forcing art tends to not go well at all!

Like, even tho I have a degree in graphic design, after all of the shit I went through in college, I just— I can’t. I can’t follow that formula because it’s so toxic to an artist like me that I can’t dedicate, I want to dedicate to myself and make things that I like e instead of holding expectation of other people to the point where it burns out my will to draw even faster than ever.

It’s not to say I’d never take commission work, cause I love commission work! It’s a lot different than graphic design work (for me), a lot more engaging, and less stressful at being perfect and more being able to have that freedom to have that sense of control in what I think looks good while also sharing those ideas with the commissioner / people who would like to see it.

Also to keep in mind that like, people in their 20’s + older have jobs to work at and make ends meet. Most of the time those younger who seem to be excelling in art, draw more because they have more free time and energy to do a lot more than people who are growing older.

That’s not a bad thing. I’ve drawn an awful lot during my time on dA and I’ve learned a lot since then. It sucks that I can’t seem to pump out as much art as I used to because my day job takes so much of my energy away, and then when I go home I still have to work by taking care of my folks + our dog until I at least get maybe a couple hours in doing whatever it is I wanted to do. Play a game, watch one of my favorite YouTubers, draw, write. It sucks I can only pick one when my energy is so low so most of the time I give drawing a break, but I always come back to it and I always know there isn’t a timer or time limit as to how much I can and should spend on myself to draw.

Just do what makes you happiest and you’ll always rope around back to what you like doing most.

[honeyweb569]

IOS Apps We Develop

iOS Apps are mobile applications specifically designed for Apple's ecosystem, including iPhones, iPads, and Apple Watches. These apps are built using programming languages such as Swift and Objective-C, and they are distributed via the Apple App Store. At our development firm, we focus on delivering top-quality iOS apps that are secure, scalable, and user-friendly, addressing a variety of industry needs.

IOS Apps We Develop

We specialize in building a wide range of iOS apps tailored to meet the unique requirements of different industries and businesses. Whether you need a productivity app, a social networking platform, or an e-commerce solution, our team of skilled developers ensures the best possible user experience.

Email : honeywebsolutions@gmail.com

Types of IOS Apps We Develop

E-commerce Apps: We build secure and scalable iOS e-commerce apps that provide an excellent shopping experience, equipped with payment gateways, product management, and customer support features.

Healthcare Apps: Our healthcare solutions include appointment booking, telemedicine features, patient record management, and integration with wearable health devices.

Gaming Apps: We design interactive and engaging iOS games with immersive graphics, optimized performance, and seamless in-app purchases.

Educational Apps: From e-learning platforms to language learning apps, we develop educational tools that make learning more accessible and engaging for users.

Social Media Apps: We create user-friendly social networking platforms with customizable features like messaging, sharing, and push notifications.

Productivity Apps: From task managers to note-taking apps, our productivity tools help users stay organized and efficient.

Enterprise Solutions: We develop business-centric iOS apps that automate workflows, manage teams, and track progress in real time.

Why Choose Our iOS App Development Services?

Expertise: With years of experience in iOS development, we ensure that your app not only meets Apple’s guidelines but also excels in user experience and functionality.

Custom Solutions: Each app is customized to suit the unique needs of your business, ensuring it aligns with your objectives.

Seamless Integration: Our iOS apps integrate smoothly with third-party services and APIs, ensuring extended functionality.

Security: We prioritize data protection and employ the highest level of security measures to safeguard user information.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. What kind of iOS apps do you develop?We develop various types of apps, including e-commerce, healthcare, gaming, social media, educational, productivity, and enterprise apps.

2. Can you build a custom iOS app tailored to my business needs?Yes, all iOS Apps We Develop are custom-built to suit your specific business requirements and goals.

3. How long does it take to develop an iOS app?The timeline varies depending on the complexity of the app. Basic apps can take a few months, while more complex applications may require additional time.

4. Do you provide ongoing support after the app is launched?Yes, we offer ongoing support and maintenance to ensure your app stays up-to-date with the latest iOS versions and trends.

5. What programming languages do you use for iOS app development?We primarily use Swift and Objective-C, the most common languages for iOS app development.

6. Can my app be made compatible with both iPhone and iPad?Yes, all iOS Apps We Develop are optimized to work across different iOS devices, including iPhones and iPads.

This article provides in-depth details about the IOS Apps We Develop, aligned with SEO practices to ensure visibility and relevance. Let me know if you need further adjustments!

Email : honeywebsolutions@gmail.com

READ MORE : https://www.honeywebsolutions.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/company/honeywebsolutions/

https://www.instagram.com/honey_web_solutions/

[frogsandfries]

So anyway, the real reason I came over here:

I've been watching more sketchbook tours and watching people talk about their graphic novels. I just wanted to remark, I'm noticing this interesting pattern. Or, idk I guess maybe not a pattern. There are some people who are perhaps, in my opinion, overly proud of their work, even though it's not all that, and by their own admission they didn't work all that hard on it. On the other hand, I found someone who was perhaps overly critical of their work, to the point of going back over and over, not redrawing the whole thing, but redrawing pages they weren't happy with.

I'm obviously no professional. When it comes to discussing my own graphic novel, I obviously have no fucking idea what I'm doing, seeing as I've never sold a copy of my single issue of my own graphic novel (available on Amazon please at least click the link if you see this).

As a matter of fact, I wonder if I'm not maybe a little embarrassed of what this cute, seemingly-innocent slice of life will become...one day, maybe in a million years, it feels like. Maybe that's what's holding me back...

But, I don't look back. That's the rule. I have been searching for a way to continue coloring my graphic novel, so very strictly speaking, you very fairly could say that I most certainly have gone back. I have started coloring volume 001 probably three times. To be fair, it's not like I've gotten very far on any of my attempts. I'm not charging forward with the coloring only to repeatedly backtrack. More to the point, since I've "Actually™️ Started " the graphic novel, I haven't gone back and completely redrawn entire scenes. I've traced my own work in order to set it up for the coloring process. I've improved hands and feet. But I haven't finished any part of my work only to completely throw it out and start completely over.

I don't look back. No matter how badly I might one day want to, like, maybe I've finally finished it and I'm comparing the last-est frame to the first? I mean, personally, I like to think I'm pretty zen about my art. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time, more secure than insecure that yesterday is gone and behind me, even in my art.

Plus, when trying to make a graphic novel, I'm not trying to suffer any more than I already am. It feels like the only thing there is, at least in terms of my linework and this graphic novel, is whatever there is. For graphic novels, it's perhaps the one time and place in my creative journey where quantity is more significant than quality.

I read graphic novels, of course I do (mostly for the art). I know that when I'm reading a graphic novel, I'm paying more attention than the average reader to things like composition, color palette, character design, small details that anyone with an untrained eye wouldn't think twice about.

I know there's probably a million places where the artist said to themself, quietly, Oh shit. Oops. Argh.

But a fellow artist who has zero relation with these artists has no idea where these "oh shit"s are. And the average reader probably doesn't really even know or care that these moments happen (unless they are so jarringly, glaringly obvious that there was definitely an opportunity to fix that and now anyone who sees this error will be thrown bodily from their suspension of disbelief).

So, apart from fighting myself over how to color the damn graphic novel in the first place, given that pixel art was painfully unsustainable, I have a) learned to train my focus forward (especially because, if you think Ava's Demon is huge, the only difference between the sizes of our bodies of work presently is merely starting time), and b) fully embraced quantity of art over quality of art for this body of work. If I want to make any sort of progress on this project, I simply cannot be throwing the whole thing in the garbage every six months because it isn't absolutely flawless. I've been making art for long enough, and college was brutal enough, for me to have fully made me more than embrace the imperfection of a quantity-based creative endeavor, but I have fully absorbed the lessons of imperfection.

Anyway, all this to say, I think style one of being peacockish-ly proud of something you barely put any time and effort into, to the point that it shows, is sophomoric in not having any critical thoughts or feelings toward your work. I don't beam like a toddler every time I finish a single page. Style two of reviewing your graphic novel every six months or whatever is also sophomoric, perhaps self-sabotaging in a way. I'm not trying to pretend that one shouldn't be proud of their graphic novel, whether it's five pages or twenty-five volumes. I don’t think you should be so proud of your work, you want to slap it on the fridge; nor should you be so self-sabotagingly harsh.

And to be totally fair, maybe low-effort artist has it right in a way: Maybe, who cares about becoming a better artist in the course of making a graphic novel. Certainly most readers aren't necessarily watching your creative journey; they should be focused on the story.

[abcdosaka]

University was such a big reality check for me. It really humbled me in terms of my intelligence, what I’m willing to do to have a stable career, what I’m willing to do to satisfy my parents, etc. I honestly think I didn’t consider my own wants at all. I just didn’t have time or energy to not live in the moment. I think I picked up a pen and really drew maybe 3 times in all of those 5 years. What kept me going was thinking about how even though maybe I’m not smart enough to be an engineer, I’m definitely disciplined enough. And I pick things up fast. I like working in a team of people to do something engaging for my brain. But I dunno if it’s enough. I don’t think I could do this for the rest of my life. what kinda clicked for me today is I was watching the documentary on the making of arcane and I was like oh, I wanna do that. I want to do something artistic, something related to storytelling. I want to create something really beautiful. I don’t think that’s what I’m doing right now.

Like I can think of so many examples where I had real passion and fun doing art. I used to create assets for avatars on this website for free. I used to do free commissions. I’d spend hours and hours drawing anything I could think of in my sketchbooks, fanart and original characters and comics. Pretty sure I’ve cracked Sony Vegas, photoshop and toon boom like 2-3 separate times as a teenager. I had a whole ass job as a teenager doing graphic design. And I just stopped? I took school so seriously and turns out I’m probably like 90 iq anyway.

Maybe in a few years I’ll follow my dreams and go back to school and learn French and join an animation studio. Maybe even just a year from now. I need to meet people first I think. Or maybe take a course after work. Maybe planning it out first and figuring out if I’m willing to do the work and take the risk is a better idea. It’s not like I hate my job, but knowing that I had a dream and I let my parents and the people around me discourage me and talk me down from following them just makes me really sad. I was a total coward. I still am, but maybe not as much. In all fairness, I was being pragmatic. I was totally dependent on my parents for everything and it would’ve been a very very difficult journey to do that without anyone’s love or support. Not that I have it now either, in fact I probably have less, but I’m more independent now which makes a big difference.

I don’t wanna give myself false hope which means I actually have to act now. I’m gonna get a car soon. I’m gonna try to express myself through art again. Hopefully I enjoy it as much as I used to. I don’t wanna do the stable thing anymore.

[walkman-cat]

1, 5, 6, 14, 17 for the artist asks! - @pigeonwit

PIDGE! hello!!

1. Show your most recent wip

ive gotta be real exams have beaten me to a pulp, so i haven’t done much art that isn’t non-doodley sketches as of late (my non-revising time is spent rewatching shows and playing video games :’)).

i do have this sketch of my post-seven year gap pearl fey design though, so here!

5. Anything you haven't drawn yet but want to?

here’s a non-exhaustive list wbwbw:

serizawa and tome

mp100 fanart in general wbwbw

Big Robots (like the pacific rim jaegers, evas, etc)

fish! i want to learn how to draw fish that look like actual fish

more of my ocs (i have to draw their new designs and costumes for the eidolon vetch lads.)

billie the kid fanart! i have this idea based on the behind the scenes photos of saint david i WILL get to it after exams it keeps hitting me when i least expect it

buildings and backgrounds. i am woefully lacking in this aspect :’)

6. Which artists inspire you right now?

here’s another non-exhaustive list!:

catmask/fourleafisland

ryoko kui

jc leyendecker

drawfee

cy-lindric

two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat

u3pxx

mintaii

the mp100 style (both ONE and the anime. the art is so good :’))

the monstergarden

my mutuals and friends!!

14. How has your art changed over the years?

I’ve been Seriously drawing since 2019, and Boy has my art changed a lot since then. To prevent incessant rambling, I made possibly the worst graphic known to man wbwbw.

(this is only for fully finished pieces. if i tried to make a graphic for sketches and the like we’d be here for hours and it would be Unintelligible lol) (this also shows off nearly all the prior orpheus designs wbwbw)

(the graphic also stops at january 2023 because my art hasn’t really changed Much since then, and you were there to see most of the changes wbwbwbw)!!

17. What inspires you?

many things! i get inspired to draw all the time (and then have to deal with not being able to draw because of time/energy/motivation/&c.)!

here’s yet another non-exhaustive list (because i like making lists wbwbw):

historical fashion! (this is one of my biggest inspirations wbwbw! fashion plates and extant garments and reconstructions and all that jazz! i love historical fashion!)

other people’s art (seeing how other people draw things is Neat and sometimes you just see the colours used in the folds of a white shirt and want to draw a lad in a shirt wbwbw)

poses (if i had a nickel for every time ive seen a pose and thought “i Need to draw this!!” i would have a Lot. Of nickels)(sometimes i draw my friends’ poses if they’re in neat so i can use them later)(i spent the entirety of my drama booster drawing pose studies of my friend Holmes because he kept changing the way he sat every other minute)

the media i’m into at any given time wbwbw . whatever im hyperfixated on will inspire me the most to draw— currently it’s mp100 (the show especially is just so well animated and the art is so funky its so !!!)— but also it can be a book ive read or movie i watched. oftentimes ill read a comic with good art and get inspired

fanfiction and other such writing

concept art

thankyou for the ask pidge! i hope your day is swell and that exams ease up on you!! <33

artist asks

[ledvideo]

Detailed explanation of the 10 technical parameters of outdoor LED displays

As the demand for outdoor advertising market continues to increase, LED display screen, as an important advertising media, its application scope and technical level are also constantly improving. However, how to choose satisfactory products among many LED display brands has become the focus of industry users. Understanding the technical parameters of LED displays is the first step in choosing the right product. The following is a detailed analysis of the top ten technical parameters of outdoor LED displays:

Clarity: The clarity of an LED display refers to the degree to which the displayed content can be seen clearly within a certain distance. Usually measured by pixel density, at a common optimal viewing distance, the clarity is "40,000 pixels/m²". In addition, the use of 16-bit data interface can further improve the clarity of the picture.

Brightness: The brightness of the LED display is designed to be above 2500cd/m² to ensure that the clarity and vividness of the image can be maintained in various environments, and sufficient brightness can be maintained even after the lamp attenuates. Here's what you need to know about nit brightness.

Refresh rate: The refresh rate of the LED display is designed to be ≥1000HZ to ensure that there are no water ripples and flickers during video playback, and it is resistant to electromagnetic interference to ensure the smoothness and stability of the video screen.

Power supply and signal transmission method: The LED display adopts high-quality military-grade connector design, and special processing of power supply and signal transmission to improve the reliability and stability of the equipment.

Raw materials: The LED display screen uses famous brand and high-quality products, especially the selection of LED lights to ensure the performance and reliability of the product.

Product aging process: LED display screens go through a three-level product aging process, including continuous power-on aging of modules, individual boxes and finished displays to ensure product quality and stability. Take you 5 minutes to learn about LED display soft modules.

Product quality control: The LED display screen is manufactured in strict accordance with the ISO9001-2000 quality certification system documents, and also passes the IP65 test to ensure complete waterproof effect.

System software: The LED display adopts leading system software and supports rich clock functions and multiple media playback methods to meet the needs of different scenarios. Here is a purchasing guide for LED display control systems.

System function design: The LED display screen has multimedia and multi-channel real-time transmission functions, which can easily control various audio and video inputs in a unified manner to meet the requirements of gatherings, performances, television broadcasts, and advertising broadcasts.

Computer graphics and text information playback function: The LED display supports the display of various computer information, text, graphics, pictures and animations. It has rich playback methods and multiple language support, and can realize the display of network data information through network connections.

To sum up, understanding and mastering the technical parameters of LED displays is crucial to choosing the right product. When purchasing LED displays, users can consider the above technical parameters based on their own needs and scene characteristics, and choose LED display products with high cost-effectiveness and reliable quality.

Thank you for watching. I hope we can solve your problems. Sostron is a professional LED display manufacturer. We provide all kinds of displays, display leasing and display solutions around the world. If you want to know: What are the advantages of electronic LED display rental? Please click read.

Follow me! Take you to know more about led display knowledge.

Contact us on WhatsApp：https://api.whatsapp.com/send/?phone=8613570218702&text&type=phone_number&app_absent=0