#wasn't meant to be sus though 😭

[strxwberrylemonxde]

joker joker more joker mojker joker joker joker

a/n: holy shit, I'M BACK 🤩 and the semester is finally over!! but i am doing summer classes starting Monday 💀 as reparations for my long absence, bep, here is a little joker blurb for you while i work on the other requests that have been rotting away in my inbox :)

Joker takes every visit from Batman to heart. A knowing smile graces his face and the beginnings of laughter begin to bubble within him when he sees the familiar silhouette materialize from the shadows of his cell.

"My, my, look what the bat dragged in. Did you miss me already, Batsy? Couldn't wait for our next date, could you?"

Not even the ghost of a smile crosses the Dark Knight's face, but Joker doesn't mind. It makes breaking him and his little moral code all the more satisfying in the end.

Tucked away in the deepest, darkest corner of Arkham Asylum, it's a luxury to know these special visits are away from prying eyes—more time with the Bat for him. Of course, it wouldn't be Batman if he wasn't there for some kind of information. But Joker loves knowing he has information that his beloved Bat wants. If his dear ol’ Batsy wants something, he needs to work a little harder for it, right?

[kathlare]

the weight of a glance

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: Lando unexpectedly comes face-to-face with Amelie, the girl from his past. A year has passed since their last encounter, and seeing her again stirs up a whirlwind of emotions

Wordcount: 1.8 k

Warnings: fluff, smau

request over here!

October 28th, 2023 - Mexico City, Mexico

liked by ameliemyqueen, f1gossip, and others

amelieupdates: Amelie spotted arriving at the paddock for the Mexican Grand Prix today! 🇲🇽✨ Her first GP appearance since Abu Dhabi last year, and she's serving main character energy as always. 🏁🔥

View all 2,586 comments

paddockprincess: AMELIE BACK IN THE PADDOCK?! We’re eating good tonight, besties 😭✨ → amelieupdates: @paddockprincess fr, we’ve been starved for a YEAR. Welcome home, queen 👑

f1stan2023: Imagine if she bumps into Lando… 👀 we NEED the reunion. → ameliefan4ever: @f1stan2023 brb manifesting this harder than my finals results 💅

mexicangpqueen: She really said, "I'm the moment," and strolled in with THAT energy 🔥

landosimp44: Not to be dramatic, but if Lando and Amelie don’t at least talk, I’m suing. 😤 → f1chatter: @landosimp44 they haven’t been seen together in ages… what happened?? → ameliearmy: @f1chatter they were close, then they WEREN’T, and now I’m living for the suspense.

lanmelieshipper: I don’t care what anyone says, they’re meant to be. → amelieupdates: @lanmelieshipper we’ve been clowned before, but I’m putting the clown wig back on just in case 🤡 → landoislife: @lanmelieshipper brb rewatching their old Twitch streams for crumbs.

ameliesupremacy: She’s in Mexico supporting Checo AND looking like a goddess?! Iconic behavior only 🤍🇲🇽

--------------

The day had started as any other qualifying day at the Mexican Grand Prix—stressful, chaotic, with the usual noise of engine roars and tire screeches filling the air. Lando had been focused on his preparations, trying to stay in the zone for the qualifying session. It wasn’t his best start to the weekend; the car was still a bit off, but nothing that a good qualifying session couldn’t fix.

As he walked toward the McLaren garage, his mind was preoccupied with the race ahead. He didn’t expect to see anything today that would throw him off. At least, not until he walked past the Red Bull garage. His eyes briefly flicked towards the familiar faces that gathered around, the usual circus of mechanics, engineers, and drivers.

And then he saw her.

Amelie.

It took him a moment to process it, his mind scrambling to catch up with his eyes. He stood frozen for a second, blinking as if maybe he had imagined it.

But there she was, standing by the hospitality area, chatting with someone in Checo’s entourage. Her long blonde hair, her effortless grace—everything was the same. Except for one thing: time. It had been almost a year since he'd seen her, and yet, the sight of her still hit him like a punch in the gut.

It was surreal. The world around him seemed to slow down as the memory of her rushed back. The late-night conversations, the laughter, the stolen moments when they'd both pretend it didn’t mean anything, even though they both knew it did. The way she would light up a room without trying, how effortlessly her presence would calm him, how he would get lost in the way she spoke or the way she smiled.

But that was a lifetime ago, wasn't it?

Lando stood there for a moment longer than he should have, frozen in place as if his body couldn’t quite decide whether to walk away or step closer. His chest tightened, and an uncomfortable mix of nostalgia and regret flooded over him. He could feel his pulse quicken, the same sense of longing that had been buried deep inside him for over a year suddenly coming to the surface.

Amelie was here. And she looked... well, she looked like Amelie. Like the girl who had been an enigma to him for so long, the one who had both driven him crazy and made him feel things he never knew he could feel. He hadn't expected to see her here, and certainly not today, when he was already dealing with enough racing anxiety.

The world around him snapped back into focus, and he blinked, forcing himself to take a breath. His gaze lingered on her for just a second longer, her face still so familiar, so real, yet so foreign at the same time. It wasn’t just the fact that she was here—there were layers to it, layers of their shared history that he had shoved into a box and locked away for the sake of moving on.

But there she was, a part of his past he couldn’t completely erase, even if he tried.

She didn’t see him. Of course she didn’t. He hadn't expected anything different. The last time they’d been in the same room, it had been nothing but awkward tension and words left unsaid. The split, the fight, everything that had been left unresolved between them—it was all still hanging in the air, unspoken but palpable.

But seeing her here, in the heart of the Mexican Grand Prix weekend, felt like some cruel joke the universe was playing on him. He almost wanted to turn around and walk away. But instead, he found himself glued to the spot, staring at her as if trying to find some answer in the way she stood, the way she smiled, or the way her eyes lit up when someone spoke to her.

He could see her laugh, the way it made her face brighten, the same laugh that used to make him feel like everything would be okay. His stomach twisted, and for a moment, he hated himself for still caring, for still thinking about her after all this time.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Charles, George, and Alex walking toward the same area, chatting amongst themselves, clearly unaware of what Lando had just witnessed. The sight of them distracted him for a moment, and he quickly pulled himself together, trying to regain his composure. He had a job to do today. He couldn’t afford to get caught up in this.

But then he saw them.

Charles was the first to spot Amelie, his expression lighting up with a smile as he waved toward her. George followed suit, his eyes narrowing in recognition, and then Alex, with his usual grin, shouted her name.

Lando watched the three of them approach her, and something inside him twisted, a feeling he couldn't quite put into words. They weren’t the ones who had been close to her, not in the way he had. They were just... friends, and maybe that’s all he had been too. But they weren't holding back, not like he was.

And there it was—the sharp sting of jealousy.

Charles, always the charmer, was the first to greet her with a kiss on the cheek, his hands resting casually on her shoulders. Lando could see the way Amelie’s face lit up at the attention, the way her smile spread wider as she spoke with them.

It made him feel like an outsider, like he was a world away from the person she had once let in. The thought that she was laughing with them, looking so at ease, felt like a dagger to his chest. Why hadn’t he been able to keep that connection with her? Why had everything gone to shit so quickly?

But maybe he didn’t deserve it. After all, he had been the one to walk away first, hadn’t he? Maybe seeing her now, happy, surrounded by people who clearly cared about her, was the universe’s way of showing him how far they had come since the last time they’d seen each other.

Amelie and Lando’s history wasn’t clean, and it never would be. They both had their baggage, their mistakes, their unspoken truths. But what stung the most was that it didn’t seem to affect her at all. She was moving forward, while he was still stuck in the past, holding onto a version of her that didn’t exist anymore.

He wanted to walk over there, to join them, but he didn’t. Not yet. Instead, he stood there, like a fool, watching as George threw a friendly arm around Amelie’s shoulder and Charles laughed at something she had said. Alex was saying something that made her roll her eyes playfully, but she was still smiling, still glowing in a way that made Lando ache.

She was so different, yet still so familiar.

And maybe, just maybe, he would never get over the fact that she was out there, living her life, while he was left trying to figure out how to move on from something he never really understood.

He wasn’t ready to face her—not yet. Maybe not ever. But even from this distance, he couldn’t help the pull he felt toward her. He wasn’t sure if it was the remnants of their friendship, the lingering attraction, or something else entirely.

But one thing was clear. Seeing her again—after everything, after all this time—it hurt. And it was the kind of hurt that he didn’t know how to shake off.

Lando couldn’t bring himself to look away. His mind raced as he watched her interact with the others, their laughter filling the space between them. She looked so... at home. Like this was where she was meant to be—surrounded by friends, by family. And yet, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a part of her that had once been meant for him. That’s how it had felt when they’d spent time together, before everything had unraveled.

It was stupid to think like that now. He knew it. But it didn’t stop him. Every time she laughed, every time she looked up and caught someone’s gaze, a pang of longing struck him. He couldn’t even pretend it didn’t bother him. And he hated that. He hated how vulnerable it made him feel.

Turning away, he started walking in the opposite direction, feeling like an idiot. His steps were fast, but he had no particular place to go. He couldn’t face her yet. Not like this. Not after everything.

It wasn’t until he was halfway back to the McLaren garage that he realized he had forgotten all about the qualifying session. The nerves that had been creeping up on him earlier were now a distant memory, replaced by the heavy weight of the moment. He wasn’t prepared for this. Hell, he didn’t even know if he could be prepared for this.

Lando’s feet carried him towards the McLaren garage, but his mind was elsewhere, lost in the chaos of emotions he’d just unleashed upon himself. He was still trying to piece together why seeing Amelie again hit him so damn hard. It had been a year, a whole year without seeing her, and now, standing just a few feet away from her, it was like no time had passed.

He didn’t know if he felt relief or regret. Maybe a mix of both. Amelie had been a part of his life once, a part he had tried so hard to lock away. Seeing her now was like opening that box, unleashing a flood of memories he wasn’t ready to confront. It was too much—too much for him to process in a single moment.

He took a deep breath, trying to focus, but the images of her laughing with the guys kept flashing in his mind. The way her smile lit up her entire face. The way she stood there, so effortlessly radiant, so at home in her own skin. He could almost hear her laugh echoing in his ears, reminding him of everything he’d lost.

Fuck.

He turned a corner, hands shoved deep into his pockets, and tried to ignore the nagging feeling in his chest. He needed to focus on qualifying. He couldn’t let this mess with his head. But it was hard to ignore the truth. There were so many things he hadn’t said to her, so many words left unspoken, and now it was too late.

He found himself walking aimlessly, his feet taking him to the familiar sight of Carlos Sainz’s hospitality area. Of course, Carlos would be there. The only person who knew everything—about him and Amelie, about the mess they’d made of things. He needed someone to talk to. Someone who would understand.

Lando didn’t even hesitate as he walked straight up to Carlos, who was leaning against a table, chatting with some engineers. Carlos’ eyes flicked up when he saw Lando approach, a small smirk forming on his lips.

—Well, well, look who finally shows his face,— Carlos teased, but his eyes quickly shifted from amusement to something more curious. —What’s wrong?—

Lando didn’t even bother to answer with words. Instead, he just nodded in the direction of the hospitality area where Amelie was. Carlos followed his gaze, and as soon as he saw her, his expression shifted. He raised an eyebrow.

—You saw her,— Carlos said, more of a statement than a question.

—Yeah,— Lando muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. —It’s... weird, man. I wasn’t expecting it. Not like this.—

Carlos studied him for a moment, before sighing and crossing his arms. —You didn’t think she would show up?” he asked, his tone shifting to something more serious.—

—No, I mean, I knew she was coming with Checo’s family. But... seeing her again, like this?— Lando’s voice trailed off, frustration creeping in. —I don’t know what I feel, Carlos. I thought I moved on. I thought I was done with all this.—

Carlos leaned in slightly, lowering his voice. —You’re not as done with it as you think you are. You’ve been holding onto something, whether you want to admit it or not.—

Lando glared at him. —What are you talking about? It’s been more than two years. I’ve moved on.—

Carlos gave him a look that said he wasn’t buying it. —No, you haven’t. You’re just avoiding it. You’ve been avoiding it since the last time you saw her.— He paused, letting the words settle. —But if you’re still feeling this way, then you need to deal with it. You can’t just brush it under the rug again. If you want closure, if you want to know if there’s something still there, you have to go after it.—

Lando let out a sharp exhale, running a hand through his hair. —I don’t even know what to say to her. I’m not exactly in a good place for this.—

Carlos raised an eyebrow. —You think she’s just going to magically show up and say what’s been on her mind all this time? You two never had that conversation. You never had the chance to properly end things, and now you’re both stuck in limbo.—

Lando’s stomach churned. He hated hearing the truth laid out so bluntly. But he knew Carlos was right. They hadn’t properly ended things. Not really. They’d both let it fizzle out, and now seeing her again—especially with how happy she seemed, how much more in control of her life she looked—it was like everything he’d been trying to ignore was crashing back in.

—She looks... happy,— Lando muttered, his voice quiet, almost to himself. —She deserves it.—

Carlos nodded slowly. —And you deserve the same. But you won’t know unless you talk to her. If you want to know if there’s something there, then go and find out. Otherwise, you’re just going to keep thinking about it.—

Lando looked down at the floor, his heart racing. —I don’t know if I can. After everything... I just... can’t.—

Carlos put a hand on his shoulder, his grip firm. —You’ll never know unless you try, mate.—

Lando met his eyes, and for a moment, everything else seemed to fade away. The noise of the paddock, the pressure of the upcoming qualifying session—none of it mattered. He had to make a choice. Stay stuck in the past, or risk stepping forward and facing the truth.

—Yeah,— Lando said quietly, his voice steady despite the nerves. —Maybe you’re right.—

Carlos gave him a sympathetic smile. —You’ve got this. Don’t let the fear control you. Go talk to her.—

Before Lando could respond, he heard George’s voice in the distance, calling to him. —Lando, are you coming?—

Lando turned, giving Carlos one last look before he walked away. There was no turning back now. He had to face this head-on, whatever the outcome would be. The weight of what he needed to do hung in the air, but for the first time in a long while, he felt like maybe he was ready to face it.

But first... he needed to make it through qualifying. He’d deal with Amelie after.

[mrs-monaghan]

He wanted to stay at Jimin's house like he used to before all this.

I've been hearing it from lot of Jkkrs. But are you sure 😭 he was living with JM. Yes we have few similar car moments but other than that ? There is no info

Why would there be in4? Do you know what being in the closet means? You sound stupid

Okay, it has been a very eventful day. But I'll tackle one Jikook ask for the road coz I got 1AM on my end.

Anon, Jikookers have something called common sense. Thats how we came to the conclusion that Jikook were living together and even though it might just be occasionally rn for their safety, I will be using present tense.

When members first moved out, Jimin was the only one who purchased a dilapidated house and anyone could tell he sure as hell wasn't living there. So all 6 others were accounted for except him. So where was he living? Then him and JK were sharing cars all the time. For years. Not "a few moments". And when Hopekook became neighbours, we saw Jhope, Jimin and JK share cars a few times. Again, super sus. Why was it always Jikook at the crime scene?

Anyway, let's look at a few moments in no particular order.

Exhibit a) Spotted outside JK's apartment multiple times.

Exhibit b) Namkook on that one live and RM talked about the cafe infront of their house.

Why is he using our and why is JK nodding in agreement? Last I checked Minimoni are the ones who live in 9/1 not JK.

Moving on

Exhibit c) JK says he will make pizza while looking straight at Jimin which is what prompted Jimin to think he was talking about their home.

Tweet

But then JK clarified that no, he meant at work.

Exhibit d)

When they go home, JK will let Jimin rest. Right. Not sus at all.

Exhibit e) I feel like this sentence went over people's heads.

Jimin doesn't wake up and go look for Jungkook. He wakes up and the first thing he sees, is JK. Thats literally everything right there. Honestly. But sure, I got more.

Exhibit f) My memory is hazy on the context. But RM asked JK why he had watched something. I don't remember what. But JK replied that he watched it because he was at home with him. Him in this case being Jimin.

Exhibit g) Jimin was project manager for BE. So as they were winding up RM told everyone to send their shit to Jimin once they were done.

This part conveniently doesn't get translated but Karmy were kind enough to let us know, when JK taps Jimin's thigh he says; I'll just show it to you.

To recap, anon. Jimin will be at home so everyone else needs to send him their work but JK doesn't need to because he can just show it to him. Because he will already be there with him.

Exhibit h) A favourite of mine. So basically their favorite chef comes over for this episode and brings with him 7 knives including for Suga in absentia. So just so we understand, 7 members, 7 knives.

Basically, members are trying to one up each other and JK is like "we got 2 knives so we win" 👀 Are y'all getting that? Every member left with 1 knife each, but the Park Jeons are way ahead of them because they have 2 knives. Why is JK counting Jimin's knife??

(Side bar: Jimin's face is everything. He knows bae is slipping but he can't do anything without calling attention to it 😂😂)

Exhibit i) Last one since I'm out of image space. This one came from our president. Jimin tells us he hangs about at home naked and Jhope added that JK is usually in charge of music. Jimin's face was e👏🏾very👏🏾thing!👏🏾

Tweet

There you have it. Jikook live together. Jikook boyfriends. Jikook real.

[dian-mian]

⚠️ Spoiler for Earthspark ⚠️

I just finished watching the newest episodes and I can't wait for the rest of them! The show continues to exceed my expectations with how well written all the main characters are shown, especially the Malto family, as well as the plot of each episode that are so engaging to watch, the fight scenes, all it was just MUAH 🥰🥰 (My comments don't go in an order of episodes lmfao)

They've tackled a number of topics normally I wouldn't see it being addressed like racism, xenophobia, generation related trauma (Thrash being upset that the new generation of Terrans are "facing problems caused by the previous generation and the expectations to clean up their messes"), gender identity (how alt modes are very tied to their identity) and omfg they include some other messed up shit like bots fighting in the arena to get energon (Sounds very familiar hmmm) and hint hint of Mandroid becoming more mechanical??? ALSO GHOST IS GROWING EVEN MORE SUS ESPECIALLY WITH AGENT CROFT I HATE HER ALR I WANNA KILL HER

I fucking love Megatron in this show, my god he just usurp Optimus' role as the father here (Or grandpa in this case). I mean, HE TOOK THE MALTOBOTS TO THE WAR MEMORIAL TO TELL EM OLD STORIES ABOUT THE WAR TO TEACH THEM TO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AS THE PREVIOUS GENERATION AND I 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (THE FLOWERS BEING A REFERENCE TO IDW WHERE EACH PETAL OF THE FLOWERS REPRESENT A LIFE LOST JUST KILLED ME RIGHT THERE)

AND NIGHTSHADE AND TARANTULAS,,, bunch of science nerds can relate ifhkdnksj,, I would die happy if Tarantulas can make a comeback to see Nightshade again and be his second papa like how Wheeljack is second papa to Twitch 🥺🥺❣️💕

My boy Jawbreaker,, I really love how he wasn't forced to choose an altmode so soon and it just going to get a lot more impactful when he finally scans an altmode that he feels is right for him! He so autistic coded and I luv it when Megatron and Elita explained to him how they got their alt modes and what it meant for them (ELITA SOFTIE MOMENT IS JUST 😭😭💞💕💞💕💞)

God, the dynamic of the Malto bots is just so super wholesome and so tightly knitted, but Twitch grew up too fast,, They all need fucking therapy, especially Hashtag my poor girl 😭

I fucking hate Mandroid with a passion, he's so hateable and punchable and killable

I wont be talking about that mutatued horror of a bear also is that fucking allowed in a kids show???

I dont know how, but Bumblebee dangling and restrained while his energon is drained is... Making me feel something. Also, he and Breakdown...

I cried and eyed so hard at that slowed down scene where Breakdown through Bumblebee and they both starin at each other like... 👁👁🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈?

ALSO, FIRST MEGATRON GOT RESTRAINED AND ALMOST GOT HIS ARM CUT OFF, NEXT BUMBLEBEE IS RESTRAINED WHILE BEING DRAINED OF ENERGON TO FUEL THE MACHINES, WHO THE FUCK IS NEXT???

Now....

I am a huge Optimus stan, so I have a bit of bitterness at the fact that throughout 11-18, he was barely involved. Like

WHERE DID YOU GO???

WHERE WERE YOU???

DID YOU SUDDENLY RUN OFF TO FIND MILK???

God, I love Optimus as a whole, even in this show but he seems so... Distant? I mean, I'm not hating the writers and animators for the lack of Optimus screentime, it's just me being a bit salty (Though I am a Megatron simp too at this point so my thirst has been at least quenched by him). I really hope there's more screentime of him (Especially him and Megatron becuz first few episodes the both were lowkey 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈) and we get a bigger picture of his role in the show in the future episodes. He barely talks to the Maltos and the Terrans, he's barely seen anywhere in the recent episodes, hell where the hell was he when the jailbreak happened???

Tldr; Love the show so much, but where's fucking Optimus

[leefi]

TFTBN Read-through | Part 3: Chapters 22-34

Part 1: 1-14 | Part 2: 14-22 | Part 3: 22-34 | Part 4: 34-64 | Part 5: 64-80 | Part 6: 81-90 | Part 7: 90-100 | Part 8: 100-127 (caught up here)

I was flipping through the pages, looking for interesting parts, when a sheet of parchment suddenly came loose from another section much deeper into the book. Unlike the rest, the material looked new, probably only replicated in the last year or two.

Curious, I lifted it up, and folded it open. To my surprise, the text was dark red, and said--

YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER

DO NOT TRUST ANY WITHIN THE INNER CIRCLE

FIND THE ARCHIVE ON THE TOP FLOOR OF THE MAIN BUILDING

REMEMBER YOUR OATH ⬇️ SHES GONNA GET MURDEREDDDDDDD WOOHOOOOOOO SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP

actually I wonder if Theodoros chan’s gonna get murdered actually. Son of a high-ranking member, asked Su to go to his room last night in front of everyone, was walking around alone with Su and Bardiya and milf mentor. Su would be the prime suspect with only Ran to vouch for her.

He was a young man, though not resembling of the others in our class. He had ear length, light brown hair, a light-bronze complexion, and quite delicate-looking features... Yet they somehow didn't come across as immature. In fact, he was surprisingly good looking, to the point that there was something reminiscent of a statue in his appearance. ⬇️ LUKA???????? Oh my god this guy acts exactly like Luka too Su said he was looking at her funny...does he recognize her, but she doesn't recognize him? I know a luka when i SEE ONE. THAT BOY KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON. HE IS A LOOPER LIKE SU!!!

or maybe he's just silly idk!!! hehe

but why does he seem to remember/recognize her and she doesn't? does it have something to do with her request in the first chapter??? did she REQUEST TO FORGET??? how could u leave ur looping bestie like that wtf su that's so mean did he leave the note for her? he wasn't at the dinner!! maybe he slipped it into the book and knew she would read it then! hmmm but the note could have also been placed there long before they met and that wouldn't really explain the timestamp on when it was written...what was it 1-2 years ago? i guess not. omgggg iim so excited to see more of him i hope he doesnt die in five minutes ill be so sad forever

Falafel, pita bread with various stuffings, steak and egg porridge, cheese salad; high quality Ysaran food, all well prepared by Yantho, SWANA CUISINE SWEEPING THE NATION I still remember the shakshuka and lahmebajeen from ran and su’s lunch

I feel like kam has a crush on su and has no idea how to contextualize it beyond an academic rivalry — su is hopelessly in love with ran and completely unaware of the fact that she is — ran holds a dislike for su for some reason, but still cares for her. her feelings seem extremely complicated.

The ransu(? no names given but assuming) childhood scene on the beach omg…that was cute oh noooo 😭 ok they did get my ass with that one.

hmm idk if that was ransu because the other girl's personality was very different from ran's. but also this could have been long enough ago that ran's personality has drastically changed since then

Big brother is very good at his role! Sekhmet said. Unfortunately, he is also extremely stupid. He can only really think about the things he has been told to do. I have seen him try to think about other things, and it is slow and bad and embarrassing for everyone. ⬇️ Kindest younger sibling interaction

Ok here’s my death prediction list 1. Utsu (botched - she’s meant to be killed but someone dies in her place) 2. milf mentor 3. Theo 4. Another inner circle member/staff (probably a combination with 1+2) Regrettably I think kam is going to live forever

I’ve disagreed with kam on literally everything so far but especially this aversion she has towards solving a problem she won’t get to benefit from (“let us be the last”). She’s so…childish? It’s a very childish point of view.

this adherence to gender a lot of characters hold really surprises me...i figure this far out in the future everyone would be a lot more fluid!!! what's with this obsession with antiquity (@ the characters/setting not lurina)

What I also don’t understand is why humanity didn’t just clone from the original 10k then continue having children biologically (or like test tubeically. ykwim). Are 10k humans enough to avoid a genetic bottleneck? whats the minimum viable population size for humans I’m not a biologist

Ok according to one article the number is 98. That is too low. who said that. lets kill him Another says 14,000 ok if you average those two guys out you get 7k 🙄 they’re fine. assuming good genetic diversity from the source group you probably wouldn’t even need to monitor for inbreeding. Why are they doing this complicated shit and causing mental prolapse.

THAT BRINGS ME BACK TO THE POINT ABOUT THE CLONES TOOOOO CLEARLY THEY HAVE THE TECH TO MAKE VIABLE CLONES WITH A CLOSED & SAFE SOURCE SUPPLY WHY ARE YOU WORKING AGAINST BIOLOGY…UR EFFORTS WOULD BE BETTER SPENT DEVELOPING A WAY TO TRANSFER HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS FROM ONE BODY TO ANOTHER RATHER THAN MAINTAIN AN AGING BODY!!!!

Hmmm. Actually I wonder if Su’s grandpa had a similar idea. Considering the weird identity thing she has going on. Nothing to explicitly suggest this yet i think? just somethign to keep in mind considering he was voted off the polycule

I also wonder if that was related to the conversation regarding the Phoenix and the Dragon. maybe transfer of consciousness leads to loss of memory? But that wouldn’t make sense if the tech was perfect, everything would move over, leaving the old body a blank slate…what would that do to a brain, psychologically, seeing one’s former body in a dead state? also what would it do to an empty brain to suddenly be inhabited by foreign electrical synapses harboring thousands of memories preferences likes/dislikes etc. would it fight back/resist?

Im thinking back to those scratches on the wall in the kitchen. Obviously super freaky shit like 10 chapters ago but we had no context to it (we still don’t) so it was like whoops! There’s that. lol. Couple things: - did someone bake the missing chef into 🤔 a roast? - those tally marks may have been the missing chef’s and she was trapped in that room for years (thousands of marks, I think they said. Denoting days, maybe?) and then she died - But that doesn’t explain the distinct lack of skeleton in the room. Or in the roast - who would have it out for the chef - why - Hmmmm - You guys ever read that short story in high school english about the lady with the rack of lamb and the officers

Anyways that chef is definitely deads. In the kitchen? Probably not. In their tummies? Noooo (<- secretly hoping yes). Floating in the abandoned plane ocean? Yassss

Lurina is AMAZING at dropping really disturbing nuggets in the middle of a passage then distracting the characters/keeping things going. I just wish I was more engaged with the pacing :(

Good heavens," Kam exclaimed. "Are these guns?" They were, and in no small number. I could see at least fifteen rifles and ten pistols, and they weren't antiques. They looked like refractor weapons, the bronze still carrying the vivid sheen of recent production ⬇️ If this story turns into a COD lobby in the next 5 minutes im reading it forever

WTF DEAD CHEF SWEEP

Ok I have to put a bookmark on where I am in the story so far. Chapter 33! I will continue to read through it slowly but am done with the reactions for now :) bye byeeeeee

[papermint-airplane]

Music Meme

🎶✨ when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, and publish. then, send this ask/tag 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)✨🎶

Yay! I love these memes. Time to expose my weird ass taste in music to the world! I was tagged by @hazely-sims so let's do thisss. 😎

I have no idea who to tag (other than @happy-lemon of course) so let's just throw out some names of blogs I like. I think some of my faves have already been tagged but anyway, @alice-in-adventureland, @faeriefrolic, @simstryingtheirbestok, @ninjaofthepurplethings, @twitchesandtics, @monets-pixels, @foreverasimmer, @pudding-parade, and I guess anyone who wants to do it.

Scream - Dreamcatcher

Dreamcatcher, my beloved. It's no secret that I love Kpop, though I am definitely not one of the crazies. I do have the good sense not to wade into the cesspool of stans. Still, Dreamcatcher is way different from "normal" Kpop in that they have a rock/metal-inspired concept and regularly sing songs about heavier topics like mental health, climate change, and bullying (which is actually what Scream is about -- there's a lot of witch hunting imagery in the video). They have a ton of incredible songs but this one is, by far, my favorite. Oh and their fans are reasonably well behaved, which is more than can be said for a lot of Kpop fans.

2. Without Me - Eminem

Look, I told you my taste in music is all over the place. You knew that when you clicked.

3. Papercut - Linkin Park

I grew up with Linkin Park and they meant a lot to me as a teenager. I'll always love them no matter how much of a meme their music becomes. 😭 Papercut is my favorite song by them from my favorite album. It found me at a really shitty time in my life and gave me comfort when I really needed it. I felt like I wasn't alone for the first time.

4. Free Somebody - Luna

Back to Kpop! This is actually one of my all-time favorite songs from any genre. It just puts me in a good mood (Even if the video is weird. That volcano's lookin a lil sus 👀) Nobody in the Kpop scene really appreciated this song when it dropped and I have no idea why. It's immaculate.

5. Girlfriend is Better - The Talking Heads

My favorite Talking Heads song. I don't know what it's about, you don't know what it's about, I don't think they know what it's about. But it's a vibe.

[borathae]

As usual I have no idea how to open a review without sounding like I belong in an asylum but anyway ... SIBI!!! IT WAS SO GOOD!! Like WTF? Is there anything you're not good at writting because that's far from your usual style!

FASDKFKASD THANK YOU!!! Gosh it makes me very happy to hear that you guys enjoy my more experimental stories as well 🥺💜 it definitely motivates me to broaden my writing horizons and venture out into more tropes as well 👀💜

I nearly had to double check on whose blog I was because that disclaimer was too serious but then I read the a/n and I was like nevermind 😂

HAHAHHAHA LISTEN I needed to get the officialities (is that a word?) out of the way first before I lost my mind BAHAHHA you never know with some weird people on this app 😂

I love the back in time story telling you used! Because that intro did caught my attention really fast (which is probably expected comming from me x))

ooh! thank you! I actually really like this type of narrative so I'm happy that you enjoyed it as well hehehe

Also it was weird reading a story where Yoongi and OC are truly toxic for each other because I'm not used to it anymore and even at the end he says he will change but they broke up before and there had to be a reason for those too ... also habits are hard to break especially the bad ones ...

this this this!! listen! it was actually so hard to write them be so toxic for each other because this is my boongie we are talking about here 😡 like I just hope that he actually meant it 😭😭

WHY? SIBI?! Why would you give me the cutest rookie police officer Kookie in a city that dark? The only thing I wanna do with hime is wrap him in the softest blankets and taking him far away from that damn place!! ... and then come back and fight Yoongi because no one scare and threaten my baby bunny on my watch 😡

ME!!! LISTEN ME!!! He was not part of plan at first but then it happened and each scene almost made me sob 😭😭 istfg if something happens to him I'm suing (myself) 😭😭

Also poor V ... getting raided just because your boss get his cold heart broken by his ex who apparently can't keep quiet when it matters ... he just wanted to break the laws in peace 😞

HAHAHAH Pookie just wanted to be a criminal in peace ✊🏻😔

The sex scene was hot though .... drunk sex as an apology is not my thing but I can't say it wasn't hot AF ...

omgmg thank you!! I'm happy to hear that despite your distaste for the kink you could enjoy it hehe 💜

As usual it's flawless! 💜💜💜 I loved reading it, you could feel the toxicity coming from Yoongi and OC and I may have or may not have wanted to slap Yoongi quite a few time ...

GOSH THANK YOU!! I'm glad that you enjoyed it!! Also needing to slap him is so valid bhahha me (but only in this story cause he is pookie otherwise)

Anyway I'm off to read so JK fluff because I need my baby to be his happy self after that read!!

VALID OMFG REAL OMFG ME!! I legit needed to write fluff with him after finishing this story bahahha

The Consequences of Fucking Up

“Your break up was messy and painful. All you want to do is to forget about him. His friends, who ever since you ended it with Yoongi see you as their bullying target, make sure that the memory of him stays fresh in your mind however, haunting you day by fucking day. While Yoongi makes it seem as if he gives no fuck about your situation. Until one night he is in front of your door. Drunk and fucking regretful.”

♥️ Requested by anonie ♥️

Pairing: Gangster!Yoongi x f.Reader

Genre: Exes!AU, Messy Break-Up!AU, Crime!AU, Cop!AU, Hurt and Comfort, Angst, Smut, a lil bit of Fluff

Wordcount: 15.9k

Warnings: lowkey they're bad for each other, but also somehow so right?, OC is such a people hater, I feel like she has mental health issues which are never addressed tbfh, she is quite the pessimist, unhealthy consumption of alcohol, smoking of cigarettes & weed (listen. i hate smoking and stand by that but it sadly fits their characters), Yoongi is kinda apathetic and cold, or is he??, IS HE???, implied violence and murder, corrupt cops & lawyers, policeman!Jungkook makes an appearance and he stole my heart tbfh :(, he is so cute that i almost sobbed, drugdealer!Hoseok makes an appearance too, there is also detective!Namjoon and smuggler!Taehyung because I love this vibe :); abuse of power, fuck Yoongi just fuck he is so ngngn, slightly protective & possessive!Yoongi, intoxicated sex, desperate!Yoongi, no foreplay, but she is not uncomfortable, choking (m.receiving), rough desperate sex, position change from sex against a sofa to missionary on said sofa, a lil bit of strength kink hihi, he cums too soon, dirty talk, tears :'), he is actually so emotional during the sex, the ending is so cheesy and cute <3, Spoiler: he is willing to change!! and he is a cutie actually, jsjsjsj sorry but i love yoongi a lot :(

Disclaimer: This is purely fiction and isn't like my usual stories. It does not portray how the boys actually are and it is not how I see them. This is a work of fiction with no correlation to real life. The type of relationships depicted in this story are far from how I normally portray my relationships and I do not advertise for such relationhips or staying in such relationships. This story is supposed to be twisted and dark & so are the relationships in it, as well as the characters. You have been warned. If you decide to continue reading, then it is out of your own free will.

a/n: now that the disclaimer is out of the way i can officially bark because woof woof fuckkcc anonie thank you so much for this idea. i had the worst and best time writing this story like nfnfnf her mental state was definitely very difficult to write, but their tension just got to me. i made the ending as cute and fluffy as possible just as you wanted hihi <3 also i love villian characters who would set the whole world on fire just to prove their dedication :) i hope this is what you imagined, because i kinda made it longer and with more plot than i planned to at first sjjsjs i couldn't be stopped jsjsj ALSO this is giving me the perfect opportunity to finally write a Kook request I got years ago ohoho

Yoongi collides with the wall, feeling the cold nuzzle of the gun press against his chin. He drops the keys and flowers he was carrying, lifting his hands in defeat.

“Careful, it’s just me”, he lulls.

“Get the fuck out of my house”, you spit, carrying murder in your eyes. 

Three months prior

“So you’re breaking up with me?” he asks, gawking at you with widened eyes. He looks more surprised than he does hurt. Probably because it hasn’t actually sunk in yet.

“I am.”

“No, you’re not.” He laughs because he never takes anything seriously.

“Yes. I am.”

“Too bad, I won’t act like it.”

“Yeah, you will.”

He laughs, “you’ve had better jokes, but I still admire the commitment.”

“You see. That’s the problem with you. Everything’s a fucking joke to you.”

He is smiling. It reaches his eyes.

“Your job, your men. Me. Everything’s a fucking joke to you. If you would have taken Sukuna’s thread seriously, Soojin would still be alive. If you didn’t fucking insult Miss Mei, you wouldn’t have lost twenty thousand in drugs and you wouldn’t have to fucking kiss asses like a beggar.”

His smile doesn’t reach his eyes anymore.

“If you would have put any kind of effort into me, I wouldn’t be leaving now. You take everything as a joke, while in reality you are the biggest joke here.”

His smile falls. You stood up and that actually scared him. 

“Wait baby, wait. Princess, we can talk about this”, he argues, closing the distance with his arms stretched open. “I’ll fix the issue with Miss Mei, I promise.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m done talking. Soojin died because of your recklessness.” 

Yoongi touches your hands. He holds them, clutches them. You have never felt such a touch from him before. As if he actually loved you. 

“What can I do? Tell me and I’ll do it”, he offers, caressing your knuckles. 

This is what you craved for months. Affection. Attention. You were always a passing thought to him. Something to fuck and possess. Something low maintenance like all his other shit. His current touch almost makes you want to stay because for the briefest moment, your breaking heart wants to believe that he finally changed. 

But you know better. He doesn’t take you seriously and if you stay, you will one day end up like Soojin. Metaphorically or not, you will end up dead because of him. 

“There is nothing you can do. Sorry.”

You slip out of his touch.

“Baby”, Yoongi follows you with panicked eyes, trying to touch you again.

“Goodbye, Min Yoongi.”

“Please don’t leave me.”

You close the door and run, finally letting the tears escape. 

You love him.

You always have and perhaps always will. 

You don’t want to leave, but know that staying will kill you. 

One week passes. You spent it holed up in your small, shitty apartment, crying your heart out. Yoongi was the best and worst thing that ever happened to you and you miss him. You hate that you miss him. Because he was way worse than he was good. 

He was never abusive. He was a violent man to anyone but you. You, he always touched with utmost care. At you, he never screamed. But he was still not good. He was cold and apathetic at times, then terribly affectionate at others, only to become cold again. And you couldn’t take it anymore. 

You wouldn’t have left your apartment today if your fridge hadn’t been empty. It wasn’t always empty, but sadly enough, groceries don’t magically appear. Not even for an outlaw such as yourself.

The city is busy. The smell of street food, smog and body odor poisons the air. The weather is hot these days and people started sweating more. You can’t stand people. You pull the mask tighter around your nose, hoping to shield the stench this way. 

You greet the clerk when you enter the shop, lowering your mask. It smells of grocery store in here. Fresh bread, produce and clean floors. It’s a welcome change to the rancid outside.

You spent fourty minutes in the shop and pay with cash. You never pay with card because it can be traced. Someone like you can’t risk being found. 

“See you”, you say your goodbyes and leave the store. You plan on coming back in three weeks. You can’t stand being outside often.

The door just about closed behind you and then someone jumps you. Three people to be more exact. Two hold your arms while one rips the bags out of your hands. 

“Let go! Hey, you fuckers!” you fight them off instantly, surprised at how easily it is to do. Way too easy. They let go of you as quickly as they grabbed you. At first you think that nothing happened, until you notice your grocery bags in one of the guys’ hands. They stole your stuff!

“You motherfuckers! Get back here! They’re mine!” 

They run away, flipping you off over their shoulders.

You sprint after them, but before you reach them, they jump onto a tuk tuk and drive off, finally showing you their faces. Those were some of Yoongi’s underlings.

“What the fuck?” You stumble back in disbelief. “Did they fucking steal my food? What the fuck’s happening?” 

It takes you a while before you finally come to the conclusion that you have to buy everything they stole a second time. And you do. And nobody jumps you. And you go home, make yourself shitty dinner and drink a bottle of soju all by yourself. It isn’t a good night. It’s a shit night. But then. All your nights have been shit for years.

You met Yoongi four years ago. It correlates with when your shit nights began. Okay, you are being unfair. The first two years with him were paradise and your nights were wonderful. You were an aspiring lawyer, while he was in the midst of getting a promotion to superintendent.  You supported each other’s dreams, motivated each other and celebrated when your goals were achieved. Then the truth spilled out. The man you knew to love turned out to be a lie. Why you never left, you do not know. He gave you the chance to leave, but you didn’t. You made yourself low maintenance to him and your nights became shit. He pretended to be a proper policeman by day while you pretended to be a proper lawyer and at night he became what he hunted by day while you tried to hide whatever evidence about him flooded into the offices. You hated it at first, then loved it, then lost your job because of it and became dependent on him and started to hate it again. Well, at least working for him. You liked everything else. Having to work in the system and seeing how corrupt even the most eligible politicians or CEOs truly are, made you realise that perhaps stealing from them isn’t as bad as it first sounded. You liked being on the dark side of the law because the bright side was just as twisted. You just simply started to hate that it means being close to Yoongi.

It took Soojin’s death to finally make you realise that staying with him will end in your death as well. And so you finally left.

You will start a new life, make up a new identity, move to a different country and forget about him. Maybe. Who knows. You haven’t decided yet.

A letter comes five days after the grocery store incident. It is stuffed into an unsealed envelope and clearly delivered by the person who wrote it. You open it, feeling shit instantly. Whoever wrote this letter is calling you the most hurtful of names, telling you personal stuff which truly hurts. You throw it away and go back inside, opening a bottle of soju. It wasn’t Yoongi’s handwriting, but somehow you still think that it is connected to him. You try not to let it get to you, but you still end up rotting away in your bed for the rest of the week only leaving it to piss, shit and eat. 

The next week your packages are missing. You never get them back. The culprit is never found. You curse the sky, knowing that it was fruitless. Yet again, you think that it was connected to him. To Yoongi, the man you wanted to forget, but who keeps haunting you day by day.

The city at night is a dangerous place. If you don’t know where to walk, you could find yourself in a rather messy situation. Especially as a woman. You are glad that most women are clever enough to stay at home once darkness greets the streets. Most women don’t know how to defend themselves though. Properly and without the law in mind. You killed before. Once. It was self defence. Yoongi took care of the body, you never found out what happened to it. He stayed with you the night it happened, even let you cry in his arms. He was gone the next day and never spoke of it again.

You clutch the big knife tightly in your bag, scanning the streets constantly. It isn’t far anymore until you are home. Hopefully the heavy rain clouds stay dry until you get there. You aren’t in the mood to get wet. Not tonight. You would have never left if you hadn’t ran out of fucking cigarettes. The kiosk was closed, so the journey was useless. Thunder announces that the clouds aren’t your friends. Mere seconds later, it starts pouring.

“Fucking shit, I hate this city.”

Rain in this city is always dirty and never really cold. You take it as a bad sign. Rain shouldn’t be warm. Not always, not constantly. Something’s wrong with this city. Something is rotting slowly until one day it will consume everything in its wake. You hope to have left before it can wake up.

The way home is too long for the amount of dirty rain it pours. You find refuge under a shop sign. There are no rooftops or canopies in sight and the only thing close to a safe place was the stupid restaurant sign. Authentic Asian Beef Noodles, it reads in bright red letters. The place is stuffed with people and the smell of beef broth mixes with the dirty scent of rain. You grind your teeth. What a shitty situation you find yourself in. You prefer being outside though. You know that once inside, the restaurant would be hot and stink of digested booze and body odor. You take getting wet over breathing in people’s air.

Except that you don’t really stay wet for long. The distinct sound of rain hitting an umbrella meets your ears. You look up. Black. You look to the side at the person holding it. Yoongi. Your stomach twists, your heart skips a beat. He is wearing a suit tonight. Black with a black tie. His hair is slicked back. He used makeup to  conceal the scar running all the way from his forehead over his eye and down half his cheek. This is his work outfit. His police chief outfit. Yes. He is a chief these days.

Your instincts tell you to leave without saying anything, but it’s been six weeks since the breakup and you still love him. You hate that you do, but can’t stop staring at his face. He has his brows raised in a nonchalant way as he inspects the heavy rain. He doesn’t grant you eye contact, but holds the umbrella in a way which lets you know that he came out here after seeing you. His left shoulder is getting wet, while you stay dry completely.

“What are you doing here?” you hear yourself ask him.

“Work dinner. I have to pay ‘cause I’m the boss and all that shit. They’re eating like greedy pigs”, he scoffs, “fucking assholes.”

“I see.”

“You?” 

“Buying smokes.”

He finally looks at you, studying from head to toe.

“The kiosk was closed”, you answer his question about your cigarettes’ whereabouts before he can ask it.

“I thought you quit.”

“Some things happened which made me start again.”

“Mhm”, he hums and takes out a packet of cigarettes from the inside of his suit jacket. He lights himself one and puts the packet away again, leaving you to stare at the smoke he blows out through his nose.

He isn’t actually serious, is he? It is like he is mocking you. It is already bad enough that he sends his stupid goons to terrorise you, now he is mocking you as well? You hate that you still love him.

You stay like this for a while. You staring at him while he holds the umbrella for you and smokes. You don’t know why you stay. You hate that you love him. You hate it so much.

Yoongi takes a long drag of the cigarette and exhales the smoke in an almost sigh-like breath. He lifts the cigarette, holding it closer to you.

“What?” you sound disbelieved, scandalised even.

He doesn’t say anything. He just shows you the cigarette as his eyes follow the endless rain. You hate that you love him. You hate it so much. But you still take the cigarette and put your lips right where he had his’ moments before. But you still smoke it as if it was the most normal thing to do. Because it once was. You and he shared many smokes in the past. It was once the most sensual, erotic thing to do between you and him. Barely clothed, intoxicated minds and high on the other, you often shared a joint as you got each other off. Fuck, it was always so fucking orgasmic to be with him that way.

“Wanna grab a bite?” he offers, pointing at the restaurant behind him, “one more mouth to feed isn’t gonna ruin me.”

You are hungry. You haven’t had a proper meal in weeks. Instant ramen, frozen food and snacks is all your body has to run on. You have no energy to cook and with how shitty you eat, it is a vicious cycle. Shitty food gives little energy, you already have low energy. The motivation to properly cook grows lower and lower each day. You dread the day you have only enough energy left to open a package of chips and eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

“I’m not hungry.”

He glances at you. He knows that you are lying. Your eyes have greyed in starvation. He almost rips the cigarette out of your fingers and smokes it angrily, huffing out the smoke. 

“I’m offering”, he hisses.

“And I’m declining. I can take care of myself”, you throw back and rip the cigarette from his grasp to smoke it angrily. 

You may be starving, but you will be damned if you make yourself dependent on him again. You left him to finally prove to yourself that you can take care of yourself. You don’t need his help. Not anymore. 

You take another deep drag, then hand the cigarette to him. He smokes it, glaring at you. You know that your stubbornness angers him.

“Tell your men to stop pestering me”, you say into the tense silence. 

He looks over his shoulder at his police team. They are too drunk and caught in conversation to pay their boss any mind.

“They’re inside”, he says.

“You know I don’t mean them. Tell your other men to stop annoying me.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Yes. You do.” It is your turn to smoke. “It all started when they stole my groceries, but it’s been getting childish. My packages keep getting stolen, my internet cuts off, I find letters in my mail. Letters saying awful things about me. It’s getting ridiculous. Tell your men to stop terrorising me.”

“Stolen packages?” He takes the cigarette from you, brushing his fingers against yours as he does. The touch feels like the sweetest poison on your skin. “This doesn’t sound like my problem to solve. Go to the police.”

“Are you serious?” 

He inhales, exhales the smoke into your face. You should be disgusted by it, but almost huff it in like an addict. Yoongi watches your lids lower and your chest raise in a greedy breath, finding it hard not to stare at your lips as he hands you the cigarette. You smoke it. His eyes are still on your lips, glued to the shape of them as his throat runs dry.

“Very serious”, he rasps.

“You are the police”, you throw back in disbelief, exhaling the smoke into his face that way.

“Mhm yeah, I guess I am.” He takes the cigarette, smoking it with half lidded eyes. He exhales, handing you the cigarette. “When are you going to come home again?” he asks, looking back at the rain.

You almost choke on the smoke, exhaling it in a cough. Yoongi glances at you from the corner of his eyes.

“Your farce is getting ridiculous”, he says coldly.

“My farce?”

This break up wasn’t the first break up you and he went through. You left many times before, always thinking that you were finally strong enough to forget him only to come crawling back again. You don’t blame him for doubting that this time will be different, but you still can’t stop yourself from getting angry.

“Did you even hear what I said?”

“I did. Go to the police. I have nothing to do with it.”

You drop the half-finished cigarette. It dies in the puddle on the ground.

“I was smoking this”, he says dryly, “besides, don’t litter.”

“Pick it up yourself if you care so much about these dirty ass streets”, you spit and turn to leave. You take getting wet over being with him any longer.

Yoongi watches you leave, shakes his head in disbelief and bends down to pick up the cigarette. He won’t run after you because you will come crawling back eventually. You always do.

“Sir?” 

He turns his head. One of his officers. He is young and with sparkles of big dreams in his eyes. Yoongi pities him. This city is going to chew him up until there is nothing left of him. He had the same dreams once and knows what the viper nest, which is the justice system, is going to do to him. 

“What do you want?” he asks him dryly, rolling the wet cigarette between his fingers.

“Who did you talk to right now?”

“Just someone important to me.”

“Shouldn’t we escort her home? It’s raining and there could be criminals on the streets. It’s too dangerous for a woman to be alone.”

“She’ll get home safely.”

“Are you sure, Sir? I stayed sober for cases like these. I could get the car right away.”

“You’re sober?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“But it’s a work dinner. You’ve been off work for hours.”

The young officer salutes, “I know, Sir but a policeman shouldn’t slack, Sir.”

Yoongi feels deep pity for the young man. He is so motivated, so proper and full of good spirit. Waking up is going to hurt like a bitch for him.

He pats him on the shoulder.

“You’re a good person, Jeon”, he says and swerves past him to get back inside. 

The young officer follows him with pride glimmering in his innocent eyes. Yes, waking up is going to hurt like a bitch for him. 

Yoongi wasn’t always living two lives. He was like his young officer once. Full of dreams and motivation. He dreamed of using his powers to do good, to help those who needed it most and then he woke up. He watched politicians and men in power ruin, rape and kill the powerless without ever getting punished for it. He felt helpless. If even someone in his position can’t change the world, then who will? His criminal work was honourable once. He slipped evidence money under the table to hand out to the powerless, he let proof disappear for people doing crimes out of desperation. One time he was supposed to put a starving mother behind bars because she stole diapers for her babies. Yoongi couldn’t do it and so he disobeyed the law for these kinds of people.

But then his criminal work became less about the powerless and more about him. Making money the illegal way was easy and it is fucking addicting. Especially when he could make sure that evidence about him never reached the higher ups. Yoongi fucking loved the sudden power he possessed and he was too blinded by it to see that he became exactly what drove him to criminality in the first place.

Yoongi tells his officer to check up on your place that night. The young officer rings the doorbell like he was told to do.

You open it, swaying from intoxication as you do. The stench of digested booze wafts off you. But you somehow seem to sober up when you see the police badges on his shirt.

“You’ve got the wrong person”, you tell him, trying to morph your face into an expression of sobriety.

“Don’t worry, Miss. I came here to check on you.”

“Check on me?”

“Yes, Miss.” He salutes you. “I have orders from my captain to make sure that you arrived home safely and that you received this”, he says with an innocent smile on his lips, presenting a plastic bag to you. 

Authentic Asian Beef Noodles, it reads in red letters and inside, three big takeout containers of food are waiting to be eaten. 

Everything clicks into place. This is one of Yoongi’s employees. Another young, hopeful spirit which will be crushed in the system. You pity the young officer. You had the same innocent sparkle in your eyes once.

Hesitantly, you accept the takeout food.

“Thanks”, you mumble.

“Any time, Miss.” He studies you for a moment. “Are you…are you okay, Miss?”

You bite back tears. His empathy is going to kill him one day. But it feels so good to receive. You haven’t been asked this question in so long.

You shake your head. He straightens up in worry. 

“Should I call help for you, Miss?”

You know what he indicates.

“Thank you, no. I’m just going through some shit. Sorry, I’m being sappy tonight.”

“You don’t have to go through it alone, Miss.”

“I know. I’m just… I’m seriously alright, I won’t do anything stupid. You don’t have to worry, officer.” 

“Yes, well I still see it as my duty to stay because you seem sad to me”, he says and tries to go inside your apartment. He still has a lot to learn. You know from his eyes that he has no bad intentions and that he truly wants to help, but you know how the city will treat such deeds. One day he will try to help the wrong person and end up with attempted sexual assault charges. And it will fucking destroy him because people like him only see the good in the world and can’t imagine that others would want to hurt people.

You stop him with a guiding hand on his chest.

“That isn’t necessary, really. My packages keep getting stolen and I guess it’s been annoying me.”

He pulls out a pen paper instantly, stepping closer to you without noticing, “your packages? Have you seen anyone suspicious? How many packages have gone missing? When did it start?”

“No, I… Thank you for your concern and the food, but I will get through the night safely.”

He steps back, cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

“Forgive me, I don’t know why I did that. My captain said that you were important to him and that I should make sure that you are well, so I wanted to do a good job at it.” He bows at you deeply. “Please forgive me, Miss.” 

“He said that?” you whisper.

He nods his head, “yes, Miss.”

“Oh. Uhm. ” You clear your throat. “Thank you, I, uhm, tell him that I’m good.” 

“I will, Miss. Here, my card. You can always call me when you need something” he hesitates, “or when you just need someone to talk to.” 

“Thank you. This is so kind.”

“You are never alone, Miss.”

“Thank you”, you say, bowing at him. He is so kind. God, you want to grab him and tell him to run before it’s too late.

He bows as well, “good night, Miss.”

“Good night.”

You watch him leave. He gives you one last look out of the police car and a kind wave, then drives off. 

You close the door with a curse. This just sobered you up. The young policeman’s kindness just sobered you up. You check his name on the card he handed you. Jeon Jungkook. Why someone like him? He never should have found his way into this field of work. 

You look at the takeout food next, feeling your stomach twist. You are important to Yoongi. Holy fuck.

It’s been eight weeks since you left him. You don’t feel better. The cigarette you shared was two weeks ago and yet you still feel as if it was sticking to your lungs. Each time you breathe out, you swear you can taste him. It almost suffocates you and keeps you from relaxing. So you leave your depressing place for a walk to the kiosk. You read somewhere that walks are good for one’s mental health. You can’t agree. Walks force you to be outside where people are loud and fucking stink.

The vendor must be fucking with you. The day is bright, but the kiosk is closed again. You bang your fist against the closed door, cursing loudly. You want your fucking smokes is that too much to ask? This city is fucking shit.

You’ll just call someone who will always help. You saved him as Jay. His real name is Hoseok. You don’t say his real name in public. He doesn’t say yours. Yoongi sometimes called him his best friend, but what is such a title out of the mouth of the most apathetic man you know? You were his girlfriend too and look at where this has gotten you, living as an outlaw in the shit and dirt of this city.

Like always, Hoseok lets the phone ring four times then he picks up.

“Flames are hot”, he says.

“And the arsonist works hard”, you answer him.

“Hyacinth, it’s good to hear your voice”, there is finally a smile in his voice now that you answered the code correctly.

“The same goes for you, Jay.”

“What’s up? I haven’t heard from you in ages.”

“Nothing much. I’m out of smokes.”

“The corner in twenty?”

“Yeah.”

You and he end the call at the same time. Twenty minutes later you meet. He wears black overalls and smudged eyeliner. He says it keeps the char easier to hide. Like always, he greets you with a quick hug.

“What do you got?” you ask him.

“Whatever you want.” He opens his bag. “I’ve got cigarettes, but something stronger too”, he says, scurrying around the contents of the bag with his fingers. He always has burn marks on them, but somehow they are never dirty.

“What do fifty bucks buy?”

“For you? Two packs of cigarettes and two joints. That’s a steal.”

“Fuck dude, you’re getting expensive.”

“Yeah well, a man’s gotta eat.”

“Fine, I’ll take it.”

You and he exchange goods. He makes small talk.

“But why are you here with me? Did Suga run out of goods?”

Suga is Yoongi’s codename in public. The sound of it almost brings bile into your throat. You did such a good job in forgetting him and now the memory of him is as fresh as a new day. At least you like to pretend that you are doing a good job at forgetting him. Your heart knows better though.

“We, uhm…”

Hoseok exhales sharply, “again?”

You nod your head.

“When?”

“More than two months ago.”

“Damn, that’s long.”

“Yeah, I’m serious about it.”

He cocks his brow up.

“I am”, you insist just a little snappishly.

“Alright”, he closes his bag, “I gotta go now.”

“Already?”

He looks around nervously. Almost as if he didn’t want to be seen with you.

“Yup. Use the stuff wisely, I won’t have new stuff for a while.”

“Seriously?”

He nods his head and salutes you nonchalantly.

“See you around.”

“See…you?”

He turns his back to you and walks off quickly, soon disappearing into the busy crowd. Is this your fate? Even the people closest to you avoid you now that you aren’t Yoongi’s anymore? Were you truly only worth something as his little thing? You ball your hands into fists, bending the joints this way. You have to leave this fucking place. There is actually nothing holding you here anymore.

That night the phone terror starts. Numbers keep calling you over and over and over again. You pick up the first time, only to have to listen to the most hurtful things another human has ever said to you. The voice wasn’t Yoongi’s, but you still blame him. Now that you aren’t his thing anymore, you became free food to whoever had been waiting to make your life a living hell. You turn off your phone after an hour and go to sleep with the help of Hoseok’s joints.

The doorbell wakes you the next morning. You consider not answering because it’s probably just one of his goons wanting to terrorise you. But whoever is ringing the doorbell is stubborn, forcing you out of your bedroom. You look through the door cam first.

That young officer. He is in full uniform.

You open the door hesitantly.

“Good morning”, he greets you with a wave and a smile.

“Good morning”, you murmur. Your mouth is as dry as a fucking desert. You are also so hungry that you could throw up in his face right now.

“How are you feeling, Miss?”

“Good.”

“That’s good to hear.” He says and shows you a package which he kept hidden behind his back all this time. He smiles brightly and proudly. “Tada!”

“What’s that?”

“I caught the package thief, Miss.”

“Are you serious?” you gasp and your eyes instinctively drift to the car you have noticed parked outside your unit for days. The door is opened and someone is sitting in the backseat. He looked cuffed to the seat. You glance at the young officer and the shiteating, proud grin he is sporting. He has been watching you? Did Yoongi tell him to?

“Wait. You’re actually serious.”

“Very serious. For you, Miss”, he says and shoves the package into your face.

“Uhm, uh. Thanks”, you accept it, putting it under your arm. “Have you been watching me?”

“Did you notice the car? Sorry, I thought that I was better hidden. I’m still new to all of this. But I caught the thief, heh.” He points at himself with his thumbs. “That’s my first real arrest.”

He manages to drag an honest smile to your lips. He is kind of adorable in a way.

“That’s cool. Thank you for taking care of it. Now I’ve got nothing to worry about anymore.”

He grins and nods his head, studying your features afterwards. He opens his mouth.

“Jeon are you there? Over”, his walkie talkie interrupts whatever he wanted to ask you. He takes it off his chest harness.

“I’m here, Kim Sir. Over.”

“Come to the precinct. We need reinforcements. Over.”

“Coming right away, Sir. I caught a thief right now, Sir. Over.”

A pause where the higher officer is definitely baffled by his confession.

“Good job, Jeon. Over.”

The young officer giggles before he speaks again, doing so as seriously as possible.

“Thank you, Kim Sir. I am taking the criminal to the precinct. Over.”

“Understood. Over.”

He puts the walkie talkie back on its harness and gives you a sorry smile.

“That was my boss. My other boss, not your friend who is the boss of this boss. Anyways. I have to go now, duty calls. Are you going to be okay, Miss?”

“I am. Thank you for your kindness.”

“Anytime, Miss. Uhm, have a good day”, he says and leaves with a wave of his hand. He waves again as he drives off. You retort it, staring at his car until it disappears behind a corner. You sigh deeply. He is so nice. Why someone like him? Why does this life always find people like him?

It’s been ten weeks since you left him. You read somewhere that walks are good for your mental health. You still can’t agree. Walks force you to be outside where people are still loud and still fucking stink. But it’s better than staying in your apartment. You’ve got new neighbours since Monday. They keep fucking like actual animals. They fucked when you left your place tonight. You were this close to kicking their door in and slaughtering them like pigs. You opted for a walk in the end.

You walk for a while then sit down by an empty bench next to the river. It is quiet. Nobody is really here. At least nobody important. A couple, how disgusting. A late night jogger, clearly a man. A homeless person, who uses another bench as their bed. You hate looking at homeless people because you feel helpless seeing them. You stopped being on the bright side of the law because of people like them. You thought that maybe if you stole from the corrupt men in power often enough, you would be able to help the ones who truly needed it. But you never managed to actually achieve anything. The homelessness in the city grows, while the pockets of the politicians become fatter and fatter in wealth. You fucking hate this city. It is rotten to the core.

“Look who we have here. If that isn’t our pretty little Hyacinth.”

You aren’t quick enough to get up to leave and then you already have two men throwing their arms over your shoulders while a third is grabbing the back of your head from behind. You try to reach for your knife but can’t. Their grip on you is too good.

“What are you doing here all alone?”

Their voices are familiar and one look at them confirms your suspicions. It’s them. The same three underlings who stole your groceries months ago.

“Leave me alone”, you tell them.

“Why should we? You are all alone. If the boss knew we’re leaving you alone, he’d grow angry.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Now, now don’t be like that. You’re just a girl and there are many dangerous men out there.”

You look to your side. One of them is licking their lips like a hungry animal.

“Yeah? And you’re being fucking inappropriate. Leave me alone”, you spit, shaking off their arms.

They let you. Just as they let you stand up and take your bag.

“Goodnight”, you tell them and leave. Quickly. You walk a good hundred feet until you finally dare to look over your shoulder only to realise in horror that they are following you. Quickly.

You can defend yourself. You know how to kill, but you also know when you are outnumbered. And three bigger men against a woman is sadly never going to end well for the woman. You hate this city and you hate this life. You know that their words were nothing but provocation. They know you aren’t with Yoongi anymore, that you aren’t under his protection anymore and that in some weird way, you sullied his honour. You also know how people who bring dishonour to the gangs of this city are punished. The men are murdered and the women, well, they are murdered too but not before being sullied themselves. You hate this city and you hate this life. This life which is going to fucking end for you soon.

You dare to look over your shoulder one more time. They are so close that you can see the hunger in their eyes. No. Nononononono. It can’t end like this. You were supposed to leave this city, start a new life, forget about Yoongi. You are not going to die here in this dirty, shitty park far away from your dream.

Thump.

You bounce back from the impact, letting out a blood curling scream. It was instinct. Just as it is instinct of the person you ran into to grasp you by your arms and pull you closer again.

“Let me go! Help! Help me!”

“Quiet”, the person hisses and shakes you. This voice sounded different. Familiar in an almost intimate way.

You dare to shift your eyes to them.

Yoongi.

“I, I, I”, you stutter, feeling delirious in both fear and shock. You grab his shirt, twisting it to get closer to him. The act is intimate and out-of-place but you are too frightened to think clearly. 

Yoongi brushes over the state of your glassy eyes to look over your shoulder. There are three men suddenly scurrying away, using the darkness to hide. He managed to get their faces.

He looks back at you. Your eyes meet. A little bit of clarity returns to you. What are you doing? Your fingers soften around his shirt. 

“I don’t…”

“Come on, we’re going home”, he say sternly and puts an arm around your waist, dragging you with him like this.

You follow him all the way to his car. You even let him sit you down on the passenger seat and you even stay seated when he rounds the car to get to the driver side. You think that you are in shock because you don’t protest when he starts the car, nor when he drives off. You simply stare outside with your knees turned to him because your body acts against your consciousness. The city passes you by in flashes of neon colours. His car smells like his cologne and leather. He has no music playing. 

Yoongi glances at your face. You have your head against the window, squeezing your hands between your thighs. The neon lights illuminate your features each time he passes by another light source. He can see that you are trying not to shake.

He takes a deep breath, shifting his eyes to the road. He has to grip the steering wheel, otherwise his hands would shake in anger.

“Should we get dinner?”

His voice rips you from whatever trance you were in. You sit up straight, looking at him. He is gripping the steering wheel to the point his knuckles pale. His long hair is hanging into his face tonight. A turquoise varsity jacket adorns him. His scar wasn’t hidden behind concealer. He wasn’t working his day job today. What was he doing at the park? Why was he there?

“Take me home”, you order him.

“I am.”

“No. Home. Not your place.”

“My place is your home”, he gets out through gritted teeth.

“No, it isn’t. Not anymore.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Did you see what they were doing to me?”

“No.”

You are lost for words for a moment. The tears come afterwards.

“Stop the car.”

Yoongi looks at you because your voice was shaking. He holds his breath at the sight of your tears.

“What?” he makes sure.

“Stop. The. Car. Now.”

He laughs and shakes his head.

You pull the knife out on him. He swerves to the side on instinct, fixing the mistake so vigorously, you and he shake in the small space. You don’t let it affect you, holding the knife against his skin.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he hisses.

“Stop the fucking car or I’ll kill us both”, you spit, holding the knife against his throat.

“Fuck”, he growls and hits the steering wheel. The car rolls to a stop.

“Get out”, you threaten.

“I am. Fuck.”

He follows your orders because you have his life at blade’s end. He still slams the door closed. You leave the car instantly.

“What the fuck were you thinking? You could have killed us both” he tries to scold you, but you silence him.

“I’m talking now”, you roar.

Yoongi closes his mouth because he has never heard you like this before.

“You are such an asshole! Each day I regret the moment I met you! You are the worst thing that ever happened to me!”

Yoongi gulps. 

“I had a life before you. I had dreams and ambitions and, and goals and…a chance. I could have had a good life. I was supposed to use my degree to help people but you ruined everything for me.”

He rounds the car in big steps, coming so close to you that you smell his breath. It smells like chewing gum. 

“You could have achieved something? What exactly did you achieve as a lawyer? Mhm, what did you achieve? This city is fucked.”

“Yes, because you fucked it!” you hit his chest. He doesn’t budge, but also doesn’t stop you. “You fucked it and you fucked me and I hate you for it!”

“Don’t blame me for your decisions. I gave you a chance to leave me back then. You were the one who stayed.”

You inch closer until your lips are almost touching. Yoongi exhales shakily, placing his hand on your hip. 

“And I will regret this decision till the day I die”, you whisper, breaking the closeness.

You slip out of his hold. He follows you in a small stumble and a trembling gasp. 

“I never want to see you again. Are we clear?” you hiss at him.

“Don’t be fucking ridiculous, you don’t want this”, he hisses back at you.

“You’re wrong, I don’t want you. I thought I still did, but I don’t. You don’t care about me, it’s finally so fucking obvious to me. You don’t fucking care.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“They are terrorising me, Yoongi!” You finally scream. “I wake up to people ringing my doorbell in the middle of the night, I have to keep my phone turned off because the phone calls don’t stop. I keep getting my stuff stolen and, and I thought I was going to be raped tonight! They are terrorising me and you called it not your problem!”

“No, you-”

“I’ve been living in constant fear, our friends don’t even look at me anymore, I haven’t eaten in days and I can’t-”, you stop yourself. He doesn’t even deserve your anger anymore. “-you know what? Fuck this and fuck you. I’m leaving.”

You turn your back to him and leave. 

He says your name and takes your hand. He pulls, tries to turn you to him. But you rip yourself free again.

“Don’t go”, he says.

You don’t listen.

“I’m ordering you to stay”, he sounds desperate, yelling your name, “I am ordering you!” 

He can yell as much as he wants to. You don’t listen to him anymore. The subway station isn’t far. You will make an exception and take it tonight. Even if you hate it. It stinks. Just like the rest of this shitty city.

You are going to leave. Once you are home, you are going to start packing and then you are going to leave. You will call V. You don’t know his real name, but he can change your identity as quickly as others change their socks. You will call V and tell him to have your passport ready the day after tomorrow. You will pay him with the money you have under your pillow and then leave for somewhere clean. Maybe somewhere with lots of mountains. You always heard that the air at these places is breathable.

You call V the same night. He tells you that two days is too short and to wait another week. So you wait. Your bags have been packed. You live out of them in your own place. You don’t leave it. You are scared. With how little Yoongi cared about your situation, you doubt that he told his men to stop. You are scared that if you left again, they would finally go through with what they couldn’t finish back then.

The doorbell rings during a rainy, dark night. You flinch awake to the point where you feel sick to the stomach. The lights are turned on instantly eventhough you know not to do that in such a situation. You can’t think clearly. You just want this to be over. All of it.

You run to the front door because you suddenly feared that it was unlocked. It isn’t, but you can watch someone push an envelope under your door. The shadow blocking the light outside leaves the moment the letter is inside your apartment.

You don’t want to open it at first, staring at it as if someone had planted a bomb in your apartment. Fuck it, if that is how you die then so be it, you think in the end and bend down to pick it up. It feels different in your fingers. Sophisticated. Intimate. The envelope is glued closed as if someone licked the glue stripe and the faint smell of well-known cologne lingers on the paper. You open it with shaky fingers.

A letter. It is heavy and folded once. You open it, gasping when three photographs fall out of it and onto the ground. You don’t know what is on them because they landed on their face side. So you read the letter first.

“It has always been mine as well.”

Written in black ink and a familiar handwriting. This is Yoongi’s writing.

With even shakier hands, you pick up the pictures. You feel sick for a moment, gawking at the cruel pictures with your hand thrown over your mouth. The three men who terrorised you. Their mutilated corpses look back at you. He tortured them to death.

You rip the door open, stumbling onto the balcony. You look down at what tripped you. Two bags of your favourite takeout food and a six pack of water. Both clearly fresh. So it was him. Yoongi must be here somewhere. You look into the distance. The night is loud and blurry in a thunderstorm. The streets are empty. The ghost of your past is gone again. You squint your eyes. A person.

“Yoongi!” you call out, unable to realise that you are smiling and waving your hand.

The person moves. Oh. It was just the shadow of a tree. For just a moment you had hoped that the dark shape was him waiting for you. It was just a tree…and you were happy that if could have been Yoongi. The realisation hurts.

“Fuck”, you press out, going back inside. The lump in your throat makes it hard to breathe. You stumble back to bed, halting for a moment when you pass your suitcases.

It has always been mine as well. His words repeat themselves in your head. All this time, you thought that he didn’t care. All this time, you thought that your terror left him cold. Your eyes drift over the empty takeout boxes from the noodle place. You still haven’t cleaned them up. He made sure that you were properly fed for days back then. A glance at the new stuff he got tonight. He is still making sure that you are. Your eyes drift over the package next. He made sure that they stopped getting stolen. You look at the pictures in your hands. He made sure that they would never hurt you again. All this time, you were so blinded by your own anger that you missed how he had always looked out for you. You missed his way of showing you that you were important to him.

It has always been his problem as well.

Something inside you breaks and you scream. You don’t know what you scream for, but you scream. It hurts so much. It hurts so much because you will still leave. He will hurt you again if you stay. All his efforts healed your heart and it hurts so much because you will still leave. You were meant to stay broken hearted. Leaving would have been so easy this way. Now it hurts like a bitch. But you can’t sway. You have to leave this place. It will chew up what little is left of you until you truly cease to exist.

V comes to your place the next day. He rings your doorbell. It wakes you from the uncomfortable sofa you fell asleep on last night. You groan as you sit up and you barely want to open your eyes as you stumble to the door.

You open it without checking the camera first.

“Took you long en- you?”

Jungkook, the young officer, greets you with a smile.

“I swear I’m not stalking you.”

You have a headache today, so it is difficult not to snap at him. He is also not the person you wanted in front of your door today.

“I’m starting to doubt that.”

He laughs, “it’s not that. I talked to my boss. Your friend, the boss of the other boss. Sorry, anyways. I need you to come to the precinct with me.”

“What? Why?”

“Okay so, this is actually so cool and I shouldn’t even be telling you this, but you’re my boss’ friend so I guess it’s okay”, he begins with sparkling eyes, “turns out that the package thief is actually a serial thief and you aren’t the first one he stole from. Isn’t that cool? It’s like in those movies. Those cool cop movies.”

“Really? He stole from more people?” You highly doubt that.

“Yeah”, he laughs as he answers you, nodding his head excitedly, “now we’re calling in everyone who he stole from so we can take their statements. My boss says that we can’t keep the thief locked up for long otherwise.”

You know that this wasn’t really how the law works. After all, you were once a lawyer who was fucking good at her job. Is Yoongi trying to drag you back to him? First he tries to change your mind by killing your bullies and now he is trying to do the final blow by abusing his power as police chief? You check the time. Couldn’t the young officer have come later? You could have had your passport already and be far, far away from this place.

“Can I just give it to you here?” you ask him.

“Mhm”, he tilts his head to the side, “no, I don’t think that it works like this. I’m sorry, Miss. The captain said that it’s important that all the victims come into the precinct.”

You have to give Yoongi that. He is real clever about it. That means however that you can’t escape this situation. Any more resistance from you would make you suspicious.

You give up with a sigh. “Can I just change into something different?”

“Of course, Miss.”

The young officer lets you sit in the passenger seat. He is so new at all of this. With such naivety he tells you his entire life story. That he was from the countryside and that his dream has always been to be a policeman in the city. That he studied hard for years and that he completed his enlistment with honour just so he could be a proper officer. He sounds so proud of himself that each second with him makes you hate his presence more and more. He is so fucking stupid and it angers you. Why would he throw away his life like that? Why someone like him?

You are led to one of the precinct’s interrogation rooms and are told to wait there. The table is decked with different foods.

“What’s all that?” you ask Jungkook.

“Breakfast, Miss.”

“Did your captain tell you to do that?”

“He said that wanted to make sure you get your breakfast because we called you in so early. The captain really cares for the citizens.”

You stifle a scoff. Sure he does.

“Mhm, I see.”

“Either way, it won’t take long”, the young officer bids his goodbyes and leaves you in the interrogation room.

His words were a lie. You wait and wait and wait, but nothing happens. There are no clocks in this godforsaken room, but you still know that it has to be hours. You didn’t want to eat the breakfast at first, glaring at the two-way mirror because in your mind, Yoongi was behind it, watching you and making sure that you ate. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction at first, but had to in the end. The body begins working against one’s will when it is starving and the breakfast looked way too good. You eat all of it, then glare at the mirror again. You are still left alone and more time passes. It is as if they are trying to wear you down, as if you were the criminal in this situation. Granted, you are a criminal, but only Yoongi knows that and right now you are a poor civilian having done nothing wrong. You know that it’s Yoongi’s doing. That he somehow wants to terrorise you.

So when the door finally opens and he walks into the room, you almost throw the empty bowl at his head.

“Forgive the wait, Miss but something came up”, he says nonchalantly, flicking through some papers.

His second in command Kim Namjoon and the young officer Jeon Jungkook are behind him, which is why he is putting up this act. You grind your teeth.

“I already started to wonder if I’m in danger here”, you say way too sweetly.

“That depends on how you are going to answer our questions”, he says and sits down on the chair in front of you.

Jungkook stays by the door while Kim Namjoon stands a little to your side.

You look around yourself. He is trying to intimidate you.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I thought that I’m here to give my statement because of my stolen packages.”

Yoongi glances up from the papers. This is the first time your eyes meet after your fight and he killed your bullies. If only the others in this room would know how much blood he has on his hands and to which length he is willing to go to protect you. There were times where you would have dragged him over the table and kissed him senseless, but not anymore. You are stronger than your urges, even if it hurts your heart. You can’t give in again. If you do, he will take you for granted again. You won’t be happy with him. You finally have to fucking understand that.

“You’re right. You are here because of that”, he says dryly.

“Good. It started on May sixteen. I came home at around seven ten and noticed that my packages were missing. Two were stolen back then, but in total he stole eight packages”, you say and proceed to tell him the exact dates with the time as well as what was stolen.  

“You seem to know how such hearings work”, he says after he wrote down what you said.

“I had a few hours to practice what I was going to say”, you say with a poisonous smile.

One Yoongi retorts with just as much poison and a deep hum.

“Apologies again.”

“Don’t worry, I know how hard the police works at keeping this honourable city safe.”

He tongues his cheek. You give him a victorious smirk. This cut. Good. He takes a deep breath and releases it through his nose, reaching into his suit pocket to pull out a cigarette. He gets as far as to put it to his lips and then Kim Namjoon already speaks up.

“Captain. Smoking is prohibited in this building.”

“Fuck”, Yoongi presses out and takes the cigarette between two fingers to tap it against the table instead.

“Smoking is bad for you either way”, you say.

He tongues his cheek again. You know that he wants to curse at you right now, but can’t. He has to put up a friendly act.

“I know, can’t shake the habit”, he says and studies your face, “so what now?”

“Sir?” Kim Namjoon is rightfully confused. Yoongi slipped up.

“I don’t know, I was never in such a place before. Do you still need to take my information?” you act oblivious.

“We already have everything.”

“Great. Then I can go?” you ask, fluttering your lashes innocently.

“I don’t know yet.”

“Sir?” “What? Why?”

Yoongi shifts in his chair until he manspreads like an idiot. He crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“What are you going to do now?” he asks you.

“Uhm…is this still part of my hearing?” you ask, glancing at Kim Namjoon.

“No of course not, Miss. Please, follow me.”

“Sit. Down.”

The room is silent for a moment. You glare at Yoongi while Namjoon and Jungkook gawk in complete confusion. Their captain acts out of character. There is no reason to keep the innocent lady here any longer. This isn’t like him at all. He has been fidgeting all day, barely drank his coffee, went for far too many smoke breaks and now this. The officers have no explanation for their captain’s sudden behaviour.

“What is the reason for this?” you ask him.

“Just safety precautions. We wouldn’t want our honest citizen to get into danger”, he says coldly, “now answer my question. What are your plans now, Miss?”

“I will go home.”

“Where is that home?”

“Sir, I don’t know if that is necessary.”

“Shut up, Kim.”

Namjoon gulps, exchanging a confused look with Jeon Jungkook. This is really not like their captain.

Yoongi straightens up and leans forward so he is closer to you.

“Where is that home, Miss?”

You lower your eyes in anger.

“I don’t know yet, I’m planning to leave this city.”

“What?” his voice shook as he spoke. His fingers close and break the cigarette that way. His eyes almost bore holes into yours from how deeply he stares into them.

“This city’s become too depressing for me. I plan on leaving it for good.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do. There is nothing holding me here anymore.”

“Yes, there is.”

“No, there really isn’t. I will leave.”

Bang!

You flinched back. Namjoon and Jungkook tense up as well.

Yoongi slammed his hand on the table, jumping to his feet.

“No the fuck you won’t!” he yells.

“Sir? What are you doing?!”

“Excuse me? It’s my right as an honest citizen to move”, you act oblivious as well.

“Keep her here”, he talks to Jungkook, pointing at him, “lock her up and keep her here.”

“Under what pretence, Sir?” the young officer asks with widened eyes.

“I, I, I don’t know. Refusal to, to, to cooperate or some shit like that”, Yoongi never stutters and he never paces, but he is currently doing both of those things.

“Sir…is…this legal?” Jungkook asks shyly.

Yoongi is by Jungkook’s side within a few steps, grabbing him by the collar.

“Do as you are told, Jeon! Unless you want to lose this job!” Yoongi growls, making Jungkook whimper with fear.

“Captain Min, you are stepping out of place”, Kim Namjoon speaks up, dragging him away from Jungkook, “and get off this poor officer’s neck. He is just doing his job.”

Yoongi whips around, now targeting his anger at Namjoon.

“If he was doing his fucking job, he would lock her up”, he hisses, pointing at you.

“I need you to step out for a moment, Captain”, Namjoon says and gestures Jungkook to open the door. The young officer obeys, holding it open as Namjoon shoves a protesting Yoongi out of the room. He closes the door again, muting the vivid fighting Yoongi was doing with Namjoon outside.

He meets your eyes, smiling awkwardly.

“Please forgive the Captain, Miss. He is very concerned about his citizens’ safety.” He is a terrible liar, but you don’t blame him. If you were in his situation, you would have no idea how to explain such a situation to a supposed innocent citizen either.

“Don’t worry. I, I’m just wondering if maybe I can finally leave? I’m sorry, this just really scared me and I just want to lie down at home now”, you act shaken up, looking at the young officer with pleading eyes. 

“Of course, Miss. Our honest apologies again, Miss. Please follow me”, he says and leads you out of the room.

Yoongi and Namjoon are still arguing, but stop when they see you come out. You lock eyes with Yoongi for the briefest of moments. 

He closes the distance and grabs your wrist, dragging you with him with such vigour that nobody truly gets time to act. Not even you know what was happening to you until you find yourself in his office with the door slammed shut. 

“What are you doing?” you gasp.

“Shut the fuck up, you’re not the one asking this question right now!”

“Yoongi, lower your voice. This isn’t the place for screams.”

He steps closer to you, pointing at your face in warning.

“I have every fucking right to scream right now and you know that”, he presses out through gritted teeth.

“Why? Because I finally don’t need you anymore?”

“You can’t move. What the fuck are you thinking?”

“I’m-”

‘I'm not done”, he interrupts you, “I killed them for you. I did it. Just for you. Because your safety matters to me. I care.” He hits his own chest. “I showed you that I care and you’re gonna leave?”

You hate that you love him, but not for the usual reasons. You hate it because it hurts. You are going to leave despite not wanting to. You love him, perhaps you always will but you are also going to leave. 

You nod your head.

Yoongi exhales shakily, taking a stumbling step back. He stares at you as if you were the ghost whose haunting hurts him the most. He huffs out air, rubs his hand over his mouth, then runs it through his hair and down the side of his neck.

“I’ll kill the thief”, he says in the end.

“What?” 

“I'll make it seem like suicide. He’ll look like a pisser who couldn’t take prison and killed himself.”

“Are you out of your mind? He’s just a thief.”

“Well, what more do you need?!” he screams

“Nothing! I don’t need anything from you!”

“Why not? I can give you whatever you want!”

“Look at you. Now that you finally realised, I’m actually serious about the breakup, you wanna act like you care.”

“I care”, his voice broke, but you are both too angry to acknowledge it, “i-i-if I knew that you- I just-” He breathes in, breathes out, rubs his mouth, then his neck. “It can’t end like this. It can’t.”

“It can. I’m done begging you for everything.”

Yoongi steps closer.

“I can-”

“Sir? What is the meaning of this?” 

Kim Namjoon and Jeon Jungkook are in the office. The rest of the precinct gawks at you and Yoongi through the doorway. The latter lifts his hands and steps back. His fingers are shaking. 

“The captain just voiced his worries for my move. Don’t worry about it, Kim Sir”, you lie and turn to leave, “may I finally leave?”

Namjoon tells Jungkook to handle it with a nod of his head. The young officer points at the open door.

“Please after you, Miss.”

Yoongi says your name. 

You look at him over your shoulder, despite knowing you shouldn’t. He takes a step closer, lifting his brows in pleading. Don’t give in. Don’t give in. Don’t give in. You ball your hands to fists and turn your back to him.

Yoongi tries your name again, hoping for another look. One which doesn’t come. 

“Come back”, he tries, but gets stopped by Namjoon.

You can hear them talk as you leave.

“What the fuck’s your issue, man? You’ve been weird all day and now you’re screaming at citizens?”

“Watch your tone.”

“Hyung, I’m not here as your colleague right now. I’m here as your friend.”

“She’s gonna leave, she can’t…”

Jungkook leads you away from the office before you can hear Yoongi’s full answer. 

“Are you crying, Miss??”

“Hm? Oh that, don’t mind them. It’s just…” Your heart is broken and you want to run back to Yoongi. “...forgive me, I’m just a little shaken from everything.”

“I’m sorry, Miss. The captain isn’t normally like this.”

“It’s alright. I know how Yoongi can be sometimes.”

“Yoongi?” Jungkook asks, glancing at the captain’s office. He wonders what kind of friends you and he are. Maybe Those kind of friends? Is that why you are important to the captain? 

“I mean…sorry, I don’t know why I said that. I just wish to go home now.”

“Of course, Miss.”

“Oh god, I don’t even have money for a bus ticket with me”, you murmur to yourself, looking for your wallet. This is all a scheme to get Jungkook to drive you home again. You are worried that if he didn’t, Yoongi would somehow get to you before you could reach the station.

“Don’t worry about it, Miss. As a policeman, it is my duty to make sure that you get home safely.”

“Really? I wouldn’t want to waste your time.”

“Of course, Miss.”

And so he takes you home and you hate yourself because of it. So it began. You were the first person who used his kindness to her advantage. You were the drop beginning the inevitable filling of the tank until one day it will swap over. And once that happens, it is almost impossible to stop the leak. Fuck, you are just as terrible as everyone else in this city.

But the young officer is oblivious to what you just did, driving you home with a kind smile on his face. He even walks you to your door and stays as you unlock it. Your neighbours are fucking again. He glances at their door, then awkwardly at you.

“Yeah, I’ve got new neighbours. You can’t go over there and flash your badge and tell them to shut up, can you?”

“Of course I can, Miss. Just one mom-”

“No stop, I was joking”, you stop him, studying him with exhausted eyes. You are so sorry. You are so fucking sorry.

“Ah, okay. Please forgive me, I always take everything way too seriously”, he says, scratching his own neck shyly. He furrows his brows. “What’s the matter, Miss?”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, Miss.”

“Run.”

“What?”

“Run back to your hometown. Run and never look back.”

“Excuse me?” he laughs in confusion, furrowing his brows harder.

“You’re a good person, Jeon Jungkook. This city will fucking ruin you.”

“I…uh…” He laughs nervously. “I don’t seem to follow, Miss. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to get it, just listen to me. Please.”

“O…kay? I uhm…”

“Thank you for driving me home. I��ll think of you sometimes in my new home.”

“Miss, are you okay?”

“I am. You don’t need to worry about me anymore. Just promise me to run.”

“I promise?”

“Good. Be happy, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Miss, I-”

You close the door on him and lock it. You don’t expect him to knock or ring the bell. He is too proper to annoy you this way. You check the camera. He stares at the closed door for a few moments longer, looking confused. He lifts his hand to knock, hesitates and turns his back to the door instead, leaving down the steps to drive off. You know that you confused him, but you had to. Please let it be enough to save him.

V arrives later that day. He is stressed and clearly in a hurry.

“What’s wrong? You look like you need to be somewhere or like you need to shit. Do you need to shit?”

“What? No”, he sounds out of breath as well as annoyed, “I’m risking my ass being here. I’ve got your stuff. It’s the only thing except mine that I managed to save. Give me the money, quick.”

“Save?” you probe, giving him the money.

He stuffs it into his boxers hastily, looking over his shoulder again.

“My place got raided by cops. I was at the market getting food, then came back to five cop cars in front of my place. I barely escaped. If I didn’t always carry my stuff with me, I’d have been fucked.”

“What?!”

“Sorry, Hyacinth. Gotta leave the city for a while. I wish you all the best.”

“V, what the fuck?”

“Here’s to never seeing each other again, aye?” he jokes, laughing nervously. It’s a good thing he said. Never seeing each other again meant that you and he managed to escape safely.

“Wait. Where will you go?”

“I can’t tell you. You know I can’t.”

“Yeah, just…be careful.”

“You too.”

He leaves and you know that he will be successful. If there is one person who won’t ever be found it is V. 

You are in a trance for the rest of the day. Yoongi raided V’s place. He went as far as to betray his own people just to make sure that you wouldn’t leave. Carrying your new passport feels like a trophy, as much as it feels like a curse. Leaving this city won’t be as easy anymore now that he knows. You are so fucking stupid for telling him, but you didn’t want to miss out on his reaction when he found out. The small moment of satisfaction seems skippable now that you know how far he is willing to go to keep you close. And because V came as late as he did, your means of escape don’t drive anymore either. You have to wait for the earliest bus if you wanted to or not. Fuck, you did this to yourself. You stupid fucking woman. Look at you. You have this big, honourable degree and still manage to get yourself into shitty situations over and over again.

You go to sleep with a gun under your pillow. You won’t risk anything.

You don’t get a lot of sleep and then a noise wakes you. You heard it as clear as day. Someone unlocked your front door. He sent men to get you. Now he’s gone too far. You jump out of bed and grab your loaded gun, tiptoeing to a spot from where you could observe the apartment. You have to be strategic about it. First count the men, then calculate the fastest way to shoot them, then act. The door closes and locks again. Clever bastards, they want to make sure that you don’t flee. Oh, you are going to have a blast killing them. One last little thing to leave Yoongi before you abandon him.

The automatic lights turn on. Got you, assholes.

The first enters your vision.

“Hm?”

Yoongi. Clearly drunk, he is dragging his feet over the floor, using the wall as support. No one else follows him. So he came here alone. 

Overtaken by anger, you jump out of hiding and at him.

Yoongi collides with the wall, feeling the cold nuzzle of the gun press against his chin. He drops the keys and flowers he was carrying, lifting his hands in defeat.

“Careful, it’s just me”, he lulls.

“Get the fuck out of my house”, you spit, carrying murder in your eyes. 

“I can’t believe you’re still hiding your keys under the flower pot. Don’t make me so worried, anyone could enter.”

“I’m gonna count to three and if you haven’t disappeared by then, I’ll shoot.”

“Can we talk?”

“One.”

“I know I fucked up. I can’t stop thinking about you. Please, can we try again?”

“Two.”

“I promise I changed. You were right, I was a joke. But I wanna do better now.”

“Three.” “I’m sorry!”

Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut. His death never comes. He peels his eyes open again.

You are staring, panting heavily. Tears are in your eyes.

“I’m sorry”, he whispers.

This is the first time he is the one to say these words first. It feels so good, but you can’t give in again. You made up your mind to leave…didn’t you? You study the state of him. He is heavily intoxicated. He looks the way and reeks of it.

“You’re drunk.” 

He nods his head, furrowing his brows. He touches your elbows, caressing them softly. Such touch you only get when he is drunk.

“I drank because of you. What you said today. I just…don’t move away, please”, he begs, eyes filling with tears.

“So now you care? I wasn’t important to you when I was with you and now that I’m leaving, I’m suddenly important?”

“You’ve always been important.”

“No, I haven’t. You took me for granted.”

“I did and I’m sorry. I never should have taken you for granted. I’ll do better now, please just give me a chance to prove it to you.”

“If I give you a chance again, you’ll just abuse it and hurt me.”

“No, I won’t. Please, I just.” He cups your face, running his thumbs under your eyes as gently as possible. “We were right once. We were so good together. We were a team and, and we had dreams and we made each other happy. I want this back, I wanna try to get this back again please.”

“I just want to be happy, Yoongi”, you press out.

“I’ll make you happy, baby. Please, I-I’ll make you happy again.”

“No, you’re drunk and talking fucking shit.”

“I’ll leave this city if you want me to.”

You falter. He would give up what he built just for you?

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“I would. For you I would. I’d set this whole city on fire and leave with you as it burns to fucking ashes behind us, please.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Please”, he whispers and drops his forehead against yours, “please, I want to make you happy again.”

You hate that you love him. You hate that he made you addicted to him. This is so awfully him. He gives you enough affection that you get addicted to it then takes it away again. And once he feeds it to you again, you drink it up like an alcoholic. It is always the same. 

“No, you won’t. You’re drunk.”

“Please.”

“Leave my place.”

He presses himself off the wall and grabs the nuzzle of the gun, guiding it right between his brows.

“You have to kill me if you want me gone.”

You gulp. He forces your finger to the trigger. Your airways close up.

“Kill me. Fucking kill me. I can’t live without you anyways.”

You could end it. You’ve got everything. Your suitcases, your papers, the keys of his car he drunkenly drove like an asshole. You’ve got everything you need to escape this place. You could end it, finally make sure that you have no temptation to return. You could end him and your addiction with it. He’s got your finger on the trigger, it needs just one flex and it would be over. But you never wanted him dead. No matter how much you wished for him to be gone, you never wanted him dead. Because in some fucked up way, all you really wanted was for him to put more effort into you.

“No”, you whimper, shaking your head. 

He rips the gun from your fingers and drops it on your dresser. 

“I don’t want to kill you”, you press out, sobbing softly. 

He cradles your face, wiping your tears. 

“I know”, he gets out, nodding his head, “I know you don’t, princess. I know.”

“Yoongi”, you squeak out, twisting his shirt. 

“I’m here, princess. I’m here.”

He pulls you closer until his kiss is just one breath away, feeding on the shaky breath you let ghost against his lips. His drunken eyes gaze at your mouth, his heart is racing in his chest.

“Push me away”, he tells you.

“I hate you.”

“And I love you.”

“Yoongi”, you whimper, finally touching his chest instead of his shirt. 

He moans and pulls you into a kiss. A deep, hungry kiss. 

You pull at his hair to get him off of you as much as you pull him closer, fighting for air. You hate that you love…do you really? Do you really fucking hate it? Do you really hate it when his kiss makes you feel alive again? You spent months feeling out of breath and now it’s gone. You can breathe again. At least metaphorically, physically he’s got you very close to passing out. You push at him to get distance. Air. He lets you breathe, but not escape. He pushes you to your sofa until your legs collide with the back of it. Your shaky breaths intermingle, your shared moans follow. His right hand slides to your ass, his knee lifts to your middle. 

You gasp, grinding down on him. You can’t protest because he kisses you so deeply it feels as if he wanted to consume your soul. He kisses and gropes, kisses and gropes until air is sparse. He gasps.

“Fuck. Fuck, I’m fucked”, he gets out and pulls your head back so he could drag his tongue up your throat. 

It should disgust you, but it doesn’t. You moan, running your nails down his chest and arching your back. He lifts his head, looking at you with drunken, crazed obsession. His fingers just can’t stay still on your body. It is as if he wanted to touch everywhere at all times. The attention makes you short of breath.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

You touch his cheek. He leans into your palm, closing his eyes when you trace his scar. You were with him when he got it. It was during a fight. He fought with his fists, his opponent chose the cowardly way and pulled a knife on him. He was lucky that he didn’t lose his eyesight. He hated it at first, but you made him feel handsome. You always looked out for him that way.

“Do you…do you think I’m handsome?” he asks. Such questions you only get when he’s drunk. 

“I do.”

His breath trembles as it leaves him. He drops his hand from your hips to take out his cock. He touches himself, gazing at you as if he needed the view of you to stay hard. And he does. He needs you. You are the only person who can turn him on.

You look at what his hand is doing, gulping heavily. He sighs, gazing at your face. You are as mesmerised by him as you were when everything was still good between you and him. His cock still has the same effect on you.

“Princess?” he tilts your head back up to meet your eyes, using only two fingers under your chin for it. 

You meet his eyes, heart racing unbearably.

“Yes?” One little lift of his brows and you give him the answer he craved. 

You part your legs, tilting your hips closer to him. You nod your head vigorously, gazing at his cock again.

He doesn’t bother to pull his pants down all the way, neither does he care about taking off your panties. He pushes them to the side and stuffs you full of him, gripping the edge of the couch and your right thigh as deep moans leave him. Your right leg is lifted like this, supported by him.

You gasp, tensing up. Your toes curl instantly, your fingers clutch his lower arms. His cock stretches you out and stuffs your walls. It’s not uncomfortable, but it is definitely intense. You gasp again, looking at him with widened eyes.

“I know baby, I know”, he breathes and bottoms out. “It’s been too long. Fuck.” 

He moves, chasing your warmth in drunk, sloppy thrusts. You writhe and gasp repeatedly, scratching the back of his neck. You want to hate that you love him. He should feel like an intruder. You should want to kick and scream for help. But you don’t want to. You feel whole again. No preparation, but he doesn’t hurt. His kiss and touch was enough. Your addiction to him runs so deep that his cock is pure heroin to you.

“Yoongi”, you get out, grabbing his throat. Your thumbs are on his Adam’s apple, threatening to press down.

He smiles, “I love you”, he gasps out and drops his head against yours. His long hair tickles your face, his drunken breath swirls over your skin. He gulps and moans under your fingers, pumping into you with no signs of slowing down. You start losing strength in your calf, standing like this is exhausting, but if you were being honest, you don’t want it to stop. 

“I hate you.”

“Fucking kill me then”, he rasps.

You close your fingers slightly.

“Harder. This isn’t gonna do it.”

“You first.”

“Fuck, baby”, he gets out and lifts you so he could round the sofa with you. He pins you down into the pillows, ripping the panties off of you and kicking his pants off. He pushes into you before you can truly realise what was happening, feeding you all of him until he can’t give any more. He twists the pillow next to your head as he takes on a punishing rhythm. His dark hair hangs into his face, his teeth are bared as he huffs like an angry animal.

“Yoon-”

“I know, baby I know. You already told me, baby. I know”, he whispers, wiping your cheek, “take me, I know you can. You’re my baby, you’re made for me.”

His praise is like medicine to you. This is all you needed. To know that he is still obsessed with you and that you still affect him. 

You close your legs around his hips, keeping him with you this way. You need him to always stay like this. He moans your name, slipping his fingers from your cheek to hold the pillow instead. You told him that you hated him, but your body betrays you. Your eyes betray you. You keep him close, gaze at him as if he was your everything. Yoongi’s head is turning. Not only from the alcohol, but also from being with you again. And from knowing that you still loved him.

Because he loves you so much. He hates himself for taking you for granted. He never should have. You are his everything. The fucking reason why he does all of this. The last three months were torture for him. He started smoking again, drank too much, slept too little, worked too many hours. And if he didn't distract himself with work, he tried thinking up ways of showing you that he was still there for you. He ordered his officers to look out for you, sent food deliveries to your place, parked in front of your place somewhere hidden to watch you smoke on the staircase. He also followed you sometimes after you confessed to him that some of his goons were terrorising you. And each time he followed you, he wished for you to notice him just so he could get a chance at talking to you again. But you never did and Yoongi thought that you will come back again soon. Then you told him that you would move and Yoongi finally broke. He was truly losing you. Three months of hell, of lonely nights and heartbreak and he was truly losing you. 

“I missed you”, he gets out, painting his name against your favourite spots. The eagerness with which you clasp him results in your hips to lift off the pillow, allowing your clit to grind against him each time he bottoms out. The necklaces he is wearing are tangling over your face. They were too long once, but Yoongi cut them to the perfect length so they wouldn't hit your face when you are underneath him. That was six months ago. During a time you thought he didn’t care anymore. You feel so stupid now. His way of showing you that he cared was always there. He was always looking out for you. You were just too blind to see. 

You gasp and whimper, mewl and keen, looking up at him with teary eyes and your fingers closing around nothing. You can’t tell him that you missed him too because you are too overwhelmed. 

“Did you miss me too?” but Yoongi is drunk tonight and when he is drunk he is needy for your affection. 

You nod your head. 

“Say it.”

“I missed you”, you get out, following it up with a sob. 

“Baby, I love you”, he croaks, wiping your tears before dropping his forehead against yours, “I love you, baby, I love you. Don’t leave me again, please.”

“You’re so drunk.”

“Yeah, drunk ‘cause of you. Thought I’ll lose you. Baby, I can’t lose you”, he croaks and shows you his honesty with passionate rolls of his hips. Somehow he goes even deeper than before, he hits your favourite spots even better. 

You arch your back and scream his name, throwing your head back as best as possible. This is electric. Holy shit, he makes you feel good. Your face scrunches up against your will, your feet shake on his back. 

Yoongi admires you with a pounding head and racing heart, repeating what he did before over and over and over again. You react in mewls and moans and screams and he can’t get enough of it. He wants for you to lose your fucking voice because you couldn’t stop screaming for him. Because if you sound like this for him, he makes you happy. It has been too long since you actually screamed this way, so Yoongi is especially affected by tonight.

He laces his fingers with yours – again, he is drunk – and squeezes them needily. He thinks that he is crying too. He watches pearls of something drip onto your face sometimes. His eyes also burn. He doesn’t want it to stop. He is willing to carry his emotions on his sleeve if it meant you were happy again.

“Is this what you needed? Does this finally make you fucking happy?” he gets out, chasing the ecstasy as much as he helps you with your own pleasure trip.

You squeeze his hands back, making him moan your name.

“Ye-yes.”

“Argh”, he growls, trying so much harder to fuck you right. It feels so good. He has to tell you. He stayed silent way too often in the past. You want his efforts and he wants to give them to you. “You feel so good.”

The first confession was hard because he isn’t used to sharing his feelings. It was hard, but it was also ecstatic because your sounds of pleasure became louder and you tightened around him, squeezing his hands happily. 

“You feel so good. You feel so fucking good. You feel so good, princess. You feel…so good”, he can’t stop now that he started, telling you over and over and over again how you make him feel. Good. So good. He feels so good when he is with you. “You are so good. Princess, fuck. I have to..I, I have to- ah!” 

You open your eyes in time with Yoongi collapsing on top of you. He whimpers into the crook of your neck, shaking almost pathetically.

There are two things you always believed to be true about Yoongi. First: When he fucks, his moans are always deep, raspy and growly. Second: He has perfect control over his orgasms. 

Both of these things are getting proven wrong to you right here and now as he whimpers and shakes and paints your walls with his unexpected orgasm. You want to blame the alcohol on it and maybe the months of abstinence, perhaps even the fear of losing you paired with the relief of having you again. Holy fuck, he actually loves you doesn’t he?

“I love you”,  he sobs, hugging you close. 

“Yoongi ah”, he breaks you with his confession and the tenderness with which he holds you. You swear that you can taste colours for a moment. You haven’t felt honestly good in your own skin in months. This right here is what feeling good is. This is it. 

You don’t know who comes down first. You think it is Yoongi, but even if he does, he doesn’t pull out. He lets you shake and throb and clench around him until your moment of peak pleasure is over as well. He holds you silently afterwards, catching his breath in the crook of your neck. He missed your scent like nothing else. Truly, it leaves him so drugged out that he actually finds himself drooling as he smiles like a giddy boy. 

You calm down with his weight atop your chest, his length still inside you and his hair between your fingers. It is still a little stiff and crusty from the variety of hair products he keeps in it during his day job. To think that mere hours ago, you were screaming at each other in his office. It feels so far away to you now. Like a memory of an unbelievable life.

You don’t hate that you love him. You really don’t. 

“How.” He clears his throat. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.”

“Are you sore? Does anything hurt?”

“No, but I’m leaking.”

“Fuck”, he laughs into your shoulder, nibbling on it gently, “sorry, I just…am drunk and missed you.”

“You were pathetic doing that.”

He laughs harder. You and he have a peculiar sense of humour. He knows that you meant it fondly. You laugh as well. He lifts his head at the sound of it, cupping your cheek. 

“If it means you’re laughing, I can live with being pathetic.”

Your heart flutters.

“What’s gotten into you?”

“Booze. Way too much booze.”

You laugh again. His eyes soften, he caresses your face. 

“Definitely too much booze, yeah”, you agree.

“Mhm, fuck.” He cuddles into your shoulder again. “I’m sleeping here.”

“And you think I’d let you?”

He nods his head.

“Fuck, you’re the worst.”

“Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re not.”

You wake up alone the next morning. It hurts. So nothing changed. He got what he wanted, made you addicted again only to leave. Like he always did. And you are left feeling dirty and used and fucking awful. 

You probably would have stayed in bed to cry the entire day if a very worrying noise hadn’t come from outside your door. Someone’s in your kitchen. You roll out of bed and leave the room. You don’t need weapons today. You are angry enough that you will probably be able to beat whoever is dumb enough to break in. 

You cross the corner and stop, lowering your fists.

Yoongi. 

He took a shower and tied all of his wet hair into a messy bun. He is shirtless, wearing a towel around his hips. Music is playing from his phone while on the stove, breakfast is sizzling. 

“You?”

He turns at the sound of your voice, face lighting up instantly. 

“Good morning, beautiful”, he says, closing the distance to take you into a hug. “Did you sleep well?”

You don’t answer him, you push at his chest so you could look at him. You can’t believe that he is still here and that he is making you breakfast.

“What’s the matter?” he asks. 

“Why the fuck are you still here?”

He furrows his brows, “why not?”

“I, I don’t know. I just, just. I thought that…huh? You didn’t leave?”

He frowns in regret for a moment, before leaning in to kiss your cheek. He gives your left buttock an almost playful squeeze afterwards, stepping back to return to the cooking.

“I’m making your favourite. I also cleaned. Your place was a shithole, honestly.”

Still flabbergasted beyond relief, you look around your small apartment. He didn’t just clean up the garbage and tidy, he fully wiped the place down. You check the clock next. It’s way past one at noon. You slept for more than twelve hours. Damn. You never even realised how much sleep these last three months took from you until you finally fell asleep in his arms again and actually stayed asleep. You feel refreshed and not uncomfortable in your own skin. 

Last, you look at Yoongi. He is humming to the music, switching between stirring the eggs in the pan and chopping up some pork belly. 

At first you don’t want to accept that this is actually happening to you, but then the desire to be close to him gets too grande to bear. You almost run to him, colliding with his back in a passionate hug. 

He stumbles and grunts, following it up with a fond chuckle and his big hands rubbing your lower arms. 

“Please don’t make me regret this again. Please.”

He turns in your arms, caressing your waist. He shakes his head, looking at you in ways he hasn’t looked at you in ages. As if he honestly loved you. 

“Can you promise me?”

“I promise you, baby”, he says in a soft voice and locks pinkies with you. 

The gesture is so cute and honest, that you have to stifle a giggle. Your heart hasn’t fluttered like this in ages.

“I have an idea. How about I’ll take next week off and we’re leaving this city for a while? Maybe the mountains? You’d like the air there”, he suggests. 

“Are you serious? Do you actually mean that?”

He nods his head. You and he began swaying to the music, looking at nothing else but the other. 

“But first I gotta sort out the mess I made when I busted V’s place”, he says.

“Yeah true.” You slap his chest. “Fuck you for that. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know, I know. I acted irrationally, I admit. But I’m gonna fix this. You know how easily I can make stuff disappear. He’ll be able to return again in a week or so.”

“I hope you’ll fix this, you idiot you.”

“Mhm, I will and then I’m taking you on a long vacation”, he says, kissing your forehead before hugging you against his chest.

You close your eyes, melting into his chest. 

“And when we’re there, I’m gonna make you breakfast and make you cum and make you smile. Yeah?” he whispers.

“Yeah”, you snicker.

He smells like your shower gel today, but you don’t mind. He hasn’t shown such an actual desire to change in months and it feels so good to receive. You love that you love him. You really do. 

“I love you, Yoongi”, you whisper, feeling him squeeze you for just a moment as your confession overwhelms him. 

“I love you too, princess”, he tells you and he is sober for it because he swore to himself that he won’t need alcohol anymore to be able to show you his affection. 

He is willing to better himself, he truly is and a week later, you and he are in his car on your way to a long vacation in the mountains.

[m3rkur3]

i think this article has a lot of important things to say but does a bad job of saying them

I think something I find very weird about this article is the fact that its titled the way it is. like why is AJN in the title? It’s clickbaity and a little unprofessional. And I don’t even disagree with 99% of what it’s saying, the likelihood that 90% of the story is true is quite high. However, there are so few sources that can actually be traced back. There’s some very unneeded speculation. Alexander J Newall being targeted only in the title with nothing in the article really blaming him for anything is just weird. he's the ceo, yes, but you have placed your (named) blame within the article almost entirely on this one callum dougherty.

The fact that it was retweeted by a former TMA voice actor is pretty compelling. And the fact that former people who worked with Rusty Quill whether as volunteers or staff can attest to their poor communication. And bad practices in general. I mean I pretty much do believe a lot of it. Just I find the lack of concrete evidence within the article and the lack of good journalistic practice to detract a lot from the message of the article.

Also names of characters in TMA as pseudonyms feels very unserious. When I reached the bit that was talking about Georgie and Melanie I was like come on please be for real. like this is serious business😭. also I’m seeing the author does a freelancing work with another podcasting company and it’s been argued that they were only freelancing so it’s not that big of a deal. But I don’t know I don’t like that.

Either way the people we really need to think about other people affected by rqs bad practices. I think it really is just incompetence. But they could really really really do better. Also the fact of the author is blocking anyone with any criticism on Twitter??? I don’t think that proves anything other than that they do not know how to make their article look good. That coupled with the weird journalistic choices and the caption they put on their Twitter ("make your statement face your fear" LMFAO?! how unnecessary! again, be serious!) it really does make them look less credible even though in reality the article has legs.

at the end of the day i think it just needed more time. i get the point of releasing this as soon as possible to give fans much needed info on what their fav company is doing in the midst of their kickstarter (lmfao idk i find that quite funny) just… it wasn't done very well or with much thought as to how to actually deal with people who disagree. and by “well” i mean you cannot release an article full of unverifiable info with your (admittedly not TOO damning) background and not one first hand verifiable quote and expect no “hmmm…”s. cuz the author is out here blocking people lmfao. not for disagreeing with the points in the article but for saying “hey i'm not sure you have put much thought into how you wrote this!”

i also think it's very annoying the way people are in the comments of podcasters working under rusty quill talking about the article saying "but u can't say other people didn't experience this!!!' they're not saying that brother. they're responding directly to the “podcasters under rq won't say anything bc theyre not allowed!!!!!” portion of it which i would respond to, too, like don't be silly. like fuck u niggas no one can fucking gag me dont say that😭. again again again… i am very very VERY inclined to believe almost everything in said article. i just find its release into the world and its writing to be a little… subpar. better than nothing i guess. tho is it? people have literally been saying everything here about rq for a while. save the suing and contract stuff i think and even then, you cannot bring up something as serious as SUING and not elaborate lmao! good concept bad execution imo. anywaysssss

I don’t know I just feel like it’s a little bit juvenile for what it’s meant to be and what I think it’s meant to be is an important expose which actually says important things but does it weakly.

TLDR; this article has a lot of important things to say about rusty quill's bad practices but it does it in ways that are very unprofessional. Speculation and the clickbaity title and the lack of concrete sources and twitter caption and the author whose freelance work may or may not be relevant to disclose in an article about their ex-clients competition and the substitution of anonymous names with characters from the Magnus archives. They all paint a picture of a very inexperienced writer whose work amounts mostly to an opinion piece. However I am inclined to believe the allegations made in said article for the reason that there have been a lot of people who previously worked with rusty quill saying the same thing. or mostly the same thing. I just think this article uncovered very little new information and something about it seems mean-spirited, almost as if it was for something that isn’t just the betterment of the affected peoples conditions. But that’s just speculation 😛and honestly just my feelings, not backed up by anything. For me this is more an exercise in analysing an article in general than it is analysing the situation at hand. I’m a writer at heart I’m sorry

[slccpiehead]

okay aside from byler this is what i was looking forward to in that script..

i always wondered what she meant by this?

i thought we were going to get more explanation when the script is released but no. also this part was revised. maybe they were hiding Nancy's thoughts as well? or maybe she wasn't supposed to walk to the window? idk..

(note: btw i know about the script being allegedly fake but sorry i couldn't help it lol something is still fishy about all of these. plus this is an actual line from the show so it's still suspicious for me.)

anyway, i thought the reason why Vecna can't hurt the cali gang was because they were too far away from Hawkins. But i think there's something else?

He can't hurt them. not if he's dead.

what does it mean?? He? you mean Dr. Brenner? but he still didn't hurt them even though he already died? Dr. Owens? something about him still sus to me. or... Will? was Will the only one keeping the Cali group alive? Vecna can't hurt them because there's a chance Will might get hurt too and them being linked to each other... am i overanalyzing this line?? idk anymore 😭

[requiem626k]

IKR! I was really so happy that they took a different path with his story 🥹 God yes, when he started stuttering on the stand... it was the first time he ever did that, I was so ugly crying

OMG WHAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THAT SCENE HAHAHA THAT IS SO CUTE 😭😭 though I really don't have the answer to that question LOL just what colour is his hair (the wiki says dark purple and it makes sense when you look at the official arts but his in-game hair is not like that at all)

Talking about his arts, I'm just devastated and utterly disappointed that we never got a smirking sprite/in-game art of him when he has so many official arts portraying him so...

deep trembling sigh

omg yes... I was literally so sad for Ryunosuke at those times, it is so bittersweet. And I never thought about it that way, oh... That painfully makes so much sense 😞 Maybe as Ryunosuke changed and matured through every case, it was only then that he came to view Kazuma as he really was, without the "ideality" filter that he used to put on whenever he looked at him, it really wasn't Kazuma who changed, it was him... oh dear...

Hmm, I see 🤔 I share your opinion, I also don't think every action of every character must be justifiable by logic, it is not how even we always behave. Though it is true that for the veteran AA players Lord Stronghart has been way too sus lol, the moment I saw him with that majestic theme I just knew they were going to pull a dark age of law kind of thing with him as the head of some corrupted justice stuff, it was way too predictable. But I didn't really have a problem with that as the other parts of the story were really satisfactory 😌

Goodness, about the tap-dance... It meant so much to me, it felt to me like it was the first time in a long time that Sholmes felt genuinely happy for once, it was just then that I understood how capable and astute he really is and how he made mistakes all deliberately before for us to feel included in the previous Dances of Deduction. It was just so precious, the soundtrack that was composed only for that scene had so much nostalgia in it that I directly started tearing up, everything about that scene was so beautiful 🥹

I… I finished the games…

Oh my God. I think that was the best final I’ve ever played in this series. The way everything came together, every person got tied one to another, the truth unfolded, I won’t even mention the gorgeous soundtracks that got introduced in the last case… I played the last chapter with napkins in my hand, it was so heavy and passionate at times, nearly every character had the consideration and depth they deserved, it was just — so so good 🥹

I have mixed feelings about literally everyone, I need to take some time for them to calm down HAHA omg

EYYYYY I'm so glad you enjoyed it! There are a lot of stuff that happened but imo I like how it all tied up... it's pretty clean imo.

And so... what are your thoughts on Barok and Kazuma? Very curious hehe

(and ofc u saw the Balmung part hehe v cursed comment on my part lol)

[esthxio]

°Apology for the Issue

➤ Okay so like trigger warning: P3doph!llia, Sh0tacon, !nc3st, r@pe, Su!cid3

➤You've been warned, please proceed if you want to, however it is mentioned, it's not in explicit detail like written

Only the words but still can be triggering.

➤ I apologize for the issue of defending a used to be friend and mutual I had about an anon attacking them for writing CP

At the time I was very upset and offended with how an anon suddenly "accuses" my used to be friend (here on tumblr) of writing CP and telling him to go walk into a busy road implying that he takes his own life

I of course jumped and defended him and ridiculed anon's claim without thinking or checking first if what their saying is true, it wasn't brought to my attention and nor did I look for reasons why the anon would say that (like for example search his request list) as my attention was focused on how someone just told my 'friend' to off themselves

However the anon came into my inbox saying how "you really support someone writing CP", I was still upset during this time and responded without thinking and said how most writers age up or use time skipped characters when writing smut and how there are others that write shit like this or that or something worse but they paid attention to my friend instead

and I was acting all ignorant and didn't fact checked anything at all, until the anon told me to check their kinktober list

At first I was like "no way, I don't believe that" and hoped I don't find something bad and I wanted to believe my friend was innocent because of course they were my friend

Though dread came over me as I found a request that had a warning of Pedophillia and Incest and Rape, it was a Shotacon Kazuha x M!dom!reader or something like that and the warnings were like I said Pedophillia, Incest, Shotacon, Rape and the title was "Oniichan?!" Or something like that

I was still in denial and hoped that the warnings weren't involved with the reader or Kazuha, you know like the warning is there because a random douchebag insert did that thing and they get beaten up or sent to jail

So I tried to talk to my friend, like hey which Kazuha are you writing, like is this genshin Kazuha or another Kazuha, then after he responded I was like so hyped and joking around, disregarded the anon's claim about how ironic I had DNI Pedophiles and basically and how I was so hyped abt arguing with the anon and how I'm gonna laugh now because I'm so ready, blah blah blah

He started explaining how he got the request and I'm pretty sure he mentioned something about how he wanted the requester to be anon so they don't get attacked, how he's willing to take the blame because he's the one that's gonna write it, like willingly and how he's not even the first one to write shit like that as if it's not a bad thing

Now at that time I realized he's serious about this, like full blown serious he's gonna write it, I'm pretty sure I responded "out of all people 😕" but I don't remember what I meant by that, he also continued to tell me some things and at that time it was like somewhere around 7 pm and like I said exams just finished.

Then I started asking questions against like is Kazuha that's a Shotacon like the one that's attracted to little kids, he said "No the one who requested the ANON, who request the reader😭" and I got confused because I didn't understand and I still don't

I said something about how a Shotacon = Attracted to little boys and he agreed I think, he confirmed my guess and then the conversation got Escalated to another request where he denied a request of a Loli or something, like one about Qiqi and Ganyu and he explained to me how now he's scared and wants to please and satisfy everyone, like he's scared because they got mad at him and got his IP, he told me all of this when I said "You could always deny a request??"

At that point I was tired because I was trying to talk to him to make sure I was making the right decision to defend him and I just kinda got fed up when all the thing he says to me doesn't help me so I just dropped all of it

I just told him about how I'm tired, I'll tag him in the post I'm gonna respond to the anon to and that he should explain instead because I had no energy left and the trying to defend him was draining

So now I'm here, to apologize because I'm ashamed of how I defended him, even if it was just a little bit, so yea, I deeply apologize and hope I don't make the same mistake again.

I have screenshots of our convo, I tried to include everything, even with how I acted.

((P.S: I have blocked him and had the guts to post this because of another friend who gave me encouragement and told me I should still apologize despite it being an incident a ew days ago and even if I didn't engage in the situation to deep, I should still apologize and I did^^))

((I'm scared to keep this up because he has a large group of followers and he's receiving anon asks like everything is normal and laughing about the hate he's getting and basically supporting him.))

((I feel dizzy with anxiety right now.))

[staysuki]

FINALLY READ IT AAAAA

bibi s such a badass and i love her for that. "you take after jae, ew" LOL PLS it s nice that parts of hyunjin s past have finally come to shore. i love felix s principles, cunning but never lies. ugh naur. jisung was no mafia boss but a son of one lol (or con man, same difference) AND SEEEE THE MAFIA BOSS STATEMENT YOU GAVE WAS A CLUE AND THE DOTS. they. all. meant. something.

i still feel like my 2 besties are genuinely nice, they did mention that they re doing all these crimes for a reason. not the best solution, or even a good one, to whatever problem they have but okay. i expected jisung and felix to have a deeper relationship rather than a business one but ig the world doesn t always work in our favour 💀 i m really excited to learn more about those two. on the outside, it doesn t look like felix cares for his 'friends' but you never know 🤥

i feel like jisung has a similar father-son situation as hyunjin, thus the need for more money or smth like that idk. maybe that s why he let it slip that he knows hyunjin s mother was a famous painter. he felt empathetic in some way. OH YEAH IT WAS SAID THAT JISUNG S FATHER IS IN JAILLLL so ye need more money ig

dude is jake s confirmation about wonpil having jisung vibes in a way that they hide their true intention behind an innocent mask, a foreshadowing that wonpil my man will have a scandal soon 👀🤔 chapter 33 is my favourite yet LMAO seungmin straight up did comedy JJDFSJDJKJKJJGSFJSGFJGFKJFJKDFGDSKFJG I DIDN T EXPECT SLC SEUNGMIN WOULD BOTHER JOKING YA KNOW. i m falling in love with his character deeper every update :">> felix is now at 2nd place. seungmin king. LASTLY FELIX S AND Y/N S CONVO AT THE RECENT CHAPTER!!!! "can i trust kim seungmin?" "you can. but it's up to you if you will" YOOOO THIS SOUNDS SOOOO COOLLLLL AAAAAA :">

------

i sus everyone bc you always make surprising revelations Y^Y initially, i assumed that jisung gave hyunjin the tickets to do some behind the scenes stealing but he revealed that he did it because he felt bad. he might be lying though. BUT I FEEL LIKE HE S NOT. i m willing to bet my life that FELIX AND JISUNG ARE NICE AND SOME KIND OF ANTI-HEROES LOL look where my loyalty and trust in seungmin went 😌

i will wait for that FLUFFY jisung fic. pls no more intense detective stories for now :">> MY BRAIN CANOT HANDLE BALANCING THE THEORIES OF EHALOJ AND SLC ALL AT THE SAME TIME 😤

- ␈

bibi is a scorpio (like me??) confirmed, jkjk. she's a libra but she seems like a scorpio in this fic

THE MAFIA BOSS THING WAS A JOKE PLS 😭💀 i told y'all, i don't like the mafia plots. this is just mafia-coded but not fully 💀💀 WELL, IT'S A CONGLOMERATE CON ARTIST it's an entirely different thing. this is a fic with capitalism commentary idk. crazy rich asians probs.

true. felix is such an enigma. like, he's so scummy??? but he has a weird moral compass??? like, he doesn't smoke nor drink but he will sTEAL. he doesn't lie but he is aNNoyiNg and sKeTCHY. like, i wouldn't say he's morally ambiguous since he's pretty much the worst person to associate yourself with but y'know, he's weird.

felix is a pretty much "here for business (and maybe entertainment) only" if jisung wasn't paying him, he probably won't be here at all. and since jisung can spend tens of thousands of dollars just to go to an exhibit, we can only imagine how much felix is getting paid—it's a fulltime job 🤩👩‍🦯

true. hyunjin and jisung seems like they're parallels except hyunjin didn't turn out to be a criminal. he's just outwardly shitty but in a childish immature way. isn't it kinda twisted how jisung made hyunjin feel like he's the tOpdoG of the group only to have the tables turned on him. hyunjin is so small now compared to the others. man's got some problems.

hEY, do you guys really think i'm gonna keep putting out shittee people here 😭 have some trust my besties~ the wonpil revelation IS juicy tho mhmm mhmm. but dw, i'm letting everyone rest. no more conspiracies and whatnot, ACT II is just full of answers. plus idk, perhaps the end?

seungmin best boy. see what i told you. every seungmin side character is TOP NOTCH. idk what to do with myself atp. also i wonder if y/n (or the readers) will trust felix's words 😮‍💨🤔 what does it mean~

y'all really can't help but look for smth deeper with these VILLAINS huh. anti-heroes 😭 you think they're deadpool or smth. i don't think any of these guys are stealing art for "the greater good" or smth.

p.s. the next smau MIGHT BE fluffy, who knows. but dw, it won't be anything too heavy. i'll stop with the conspiracies for now 💀 definitely just a fun little fic