#was trying to think of a clever caption but couldn't think about anything so have these i guess

[tearlunars]

eva &. historia + their eikons.

[specialinterestshows]

Based on a request by @babybatlover (whose request is based on a post by @thots-and-thoughts1031 ) for an Alpha!Rhea Ripley x Omega!reader fic where the reader is in heat. I’m also putting in a song by She Wants Revenge for every section and each section title. The fic as a whole is called Eat, Sleep, Breed, because I like to think I’m clever 🖤

Warnings for this section: Omegaverse, dirty talk, breeding kink, pain

Song for this section:

-

Eat, Sleep, Breed (Part 1/?): Your Love

“No touching yourself until Mami comes back”

The message slowly came into focus as you woke up, blinking at your phone. The ache radiating from your core had woken you up and you knew Rhea must have realized you were in heat before leaving - she loved making you wait. Something about reminding you how badly you needed her - it was difficult to recall with your body screaming to be touched.

“Yes, Mami. Want you so badly”

You managed to type out in your pained haze. Though the thought of touching yourself wasn’t far from your mind, you knew the only thing that would truly ease the ache was Rhea buried deep inside you.

“Mami knows”

The reply ended with a little black heart and you whined at the message.

“When do you get back, Mami?”

You sent the question desperately hoping you didn’t have to wait long - thinking was already so difficult.

“Wouldn’t you like to know”

The little black heart at the end mocked you and you let yourself fall back from your sitting position onto the bed, groaning loudly. You knew you might as well let out your sounds of frustration while Rhea was gone - anything that could be interpreted as bratting meant you would have to wait even longer for relief.

Trying to find a relatively comfortable position - or at least as close to comfortable as you could get - you did your best to focus on the soft sheets and plush mattress, hoping you might be able to sleep through the gnawing ache inside you.

Only managing to stay still a few seconds at a time, you kicked and flailed under the sheets in bouts before finally admitting sleep was not an option and rolling out of bed. Maybe a nice, hot bath would help.

Grabbing a towel from a basket of unfolded laundry, you slowly made your way to the bathroom. Bending over the tub to turn on the water made you aware of just how empty you were and your sore muscles squeezed around nothing as you thought of Rhea.

Letting the faucet run as you wait for the water to heat up, you hang your towel nearby and take out some epsom salts - hopefully it would help you with the pain until your Alpha came back home. Pushing in the plug to let the now-warm water fill the tub made you realize nothing was going to distract you from what you craved.

Pulling off the black shirt Rhea had let you borrow, you turned on your front-facing camera and did your best to find a good pose and lighting. Snapping a picture of yourself, naked and sticking your tongue out a bit with the tub in the background, you add the caption “bath time” before sending it to Rhea. Scrolling through your music, you put on a song before pouring in the salts and lowering yourself into the tub as it fills up.

Once you turn off the faucet the lyrics become clearer:

"Your love has got me going like you couldn't imagine"

It repeated a few times before you sank your head halfway down into the water, muffling the music. You kept as much of you underwater as you could before hearing the buzz of your phone. Sitting up, you hastily grab your towel to dry off one hand and check your messages. Anything the bath may have started doing to ease your pain felt as though it had been reversed when you read what Rhea had messaged you back.

"No matter how clean you get, Mami can still smell the sweet scent of her bitch in heat. Don't take too long"

[end part one of ?]

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/specialinterestshows/733469226667589632/eat-sleep-breed-part-2-tear-you-apart

[booppooo]

heey can i ask for a oneshot abby×female reader (she/her pronouns), #1 from your prompt list with some fluff too 😊😊 (suggestion: the reader and abby are making out softly and it turns into something more and Abby decides to eat her out on the dinner table)

Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner

Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader One-Shot

AN: dear god I'm so sorry this took so long to write, also gonna try to keep this short cuz I have a tendency to drag shit out

Warnings: oral, general gay stuff, drinking, I think my writing style has changed? sorry?

-

It started off innocently.

You were lounging on the love seat, watching some weird Japanese cartoon Manny had raved about and drinking a beer. Make that three.

"It's hard keeping up with the captions." You complained, finishing your drink.

"You're telling me." Abby kicked her feet up on the coffee table and sunk further into the couch, not paying mind to the TV. When her arm fell across the back of the couch you took to her side and cuddled against her.

The dull edges of her nails ran along your spine in a comforting rhythm, serenading your deeper into her warm torso. Eventually your felt her fingertips on your skin, not just the pressure through your shirt. The mild buzz of the booze was making your lids especially heavy. However, Abby seemed to have something else in mind when her gruff palms started massaging your hip beneath your sweats. Albeit the sensation and release was soothing, but you knew what her next few steps would be.

"Babe..." she softly grumbled, planting a kiss on the crown of your head, "I'm bored." You hummed lazily in response, purposefully ignoring her digits slyly slipping under the band of your bottoms. But she made sure you couldn't ignore her anymore when she got a hand full of your ass.

"Abby-!" You grumbled against her, "Not tonight, I'm tired."

She started massaging your waist again, "We don't have to do anything crazy, let me do all the work." Somewhere along the lines her other hand had gotten mixed up under your shirt.

You let the thought simmer and juggle around in your mind. On one hand you truly were getting sleepy, but on the other hand...

Abby's tongue.

Speaking of - she had repositioned so she could kiss and lick along your neck, further convincing you to fall in line with her plan. It was proving increasingly difficult to call it a night when she started humming and nipping at your skin. You'd be a liar if you said there wasn't a growing, warm tingle below the belt. So you leaned into her affection, pressing your hips against her meaty thigh as your implicit way of giving her the green light.

She took you in her arms, adjusting your figure so she had easier access to the parts of you she wanted to grace. Her quickly dampening lips made a journey from behind your ear and down your neck, taking full advantage of your low-collared tank. Clearly her drinks had opened a few filters since she didn't bother groaning or even moaning against you as she groped your skin and worked you up - something she was usually hyper aware of.

Pulling away for just a second, she let slip a few words, "Love you babe, gonna make it worth it." In turn your cheeks started to burn an bashful pink. You further leaned into her, readying to give into whatever she had in store for you.

When you sprung up from the couch, and your feet didn't hit the ground, you yelped - especially at the small batch of butterflies lining your stomach. That was until you noticed Abby's arms flexing beneath you and effortlessly carrying you somewhere.

"Where are we going?" You giggled, suddenly going breathless when Abby started working a purple patch beneath your jaw.

Then your backside met a stiff surface, your fingertips quickly identifying it as your small dinner table, "Abby-"

"You look just about good enough to eat."

You knew she felt proud of that one. It was pretty damn clever.

"You're so dumb," you rolled your eyes, counterintuitively wrapping your legs around her waist.

She smiled against your collar bone as her hands slithered your shirt off, "You're dumb. Take this off and lay back."

Now Abby's lips were getting acquainted with your torso, plotting delicate, slippery kisses under your bra and around your belly button. Meanwhile, she had hooked her fingers around the waist of your sweats and started shimming them off your hips, underwear caught up in the mix. The anticipation for you was building, because Abby knew you, and she knew her tongue, so it was a recipe for pleasure. You weren't shameful about your shifty pelvis, sometimes lifting to graze against her as you sighed.

"Relax baby, I'll handle it. I always do." Abby cooed, thumb swiping over the mild hump of your hip bone.

She started at your inner thigh, not afraid to involve her tongue with her loving kisses along your skin. She knew what she was doing - building you up until you almost whined about not getting enough, then she'd swoop in and give you just what you wanted, needed. Her other palm found the underside of your thigh and gave it a home over her broad shoulder, the other soon following. Then her arms hooked around your limbs from below, almost locking your legs flush with her build as to assure no escape. Finally, her eyes locked with what her tongue had been buzzing about since her fingers grazed the fabric of your shirt. There was a familiar shimmer and a heat emanating onto her expression, the scent of sex following and mixing with her hormones in some way she couldn't explain. One thing was sure, she needed to dive in.

First with her tongue of course. Slowly, meticulously taking her time to part your slit until her taste buds found the source of what had made your cunt so glittery. And when she did, the sugary warmth excited her drive, forcing her tongue to travel to your clit. It's arrival was much anticipated because when the slick of her hot tongue made its first swipe against your near throbbing bud, a throaty sigh released from your tight chest. It managed to subside and elicit an ache only she could build and put to rest. Fortunate for you both, she knew just how to do that.

Anytime your hips would jolt or jut her unreal strength would keep you in place so her tongue could swirl just the way it needed to - uninterrupted by your overly excited nervous system. You could feel the accumulation of your slick being smeared grossly all over your cunt via her slippery tongue, only adding to the mess. But this didn't bother you, because Abby was tidy. She was clean and tedious, so this mess in the name of your orgasm was simply part of the process. It was something she enjoyed the most about having your lips against hers...your other lips.

"Goddamn..." a long sigh followed your curse. Your fingers had infiltrated her loose braid and nails were digging into her scalp.

Abby knew she was good. Good enough for you to take hold of her strands and wriggle your hips impossibly closer to her mouth; if she couldn't get closer, she'd get faster. Her sloppy tongue would just get sloppier, quicker, nearly careless. She needed to cover as much area as efficiently as possible because from the way your thighs were tightening and your nails scratched she knew you were close. Excitement sparked in Abby's chest, and she grabbed your hips as if she were cupping your cheeks to more deeply immerse herself.

"Fuck, yeah - just like that." You grumbled, but despite the delivery of your message, you couldn't be anymore enthusiastic.

Your waist grew jumpy, only it didn't make it very far from the table because Abby made sure to keep it in place. Her strength once again was a merit, because she had such a disgustingly hot battle between your soon to be overstimulated clit and her fucking ferocious tongue. Any move in the wrong direction on account of your eagerness could ruin this for both of you. Luckily, your orgasm was a certain reality when the spot in the middle of your pelvis grew fiery, so much so your body took refuge against the table. The sensation was wonderfully identifiable as it spread warmth rapidly across your muscles and nervous system, clearing your brain of all thoughts and forcing provocative moans from your throat.

Between all of this, Abby worked hard to make sure it was indeed worth it. She continued to maneuver her tongue just the way you said to, keeping you steady as the rest of your body tensed and relaxed at once. Eventually she let up on your hips and let your soaked center grind senselessly against her face until your figure grew limp and satisfied, at which time Abby dedicated to gently cleaning up the sticky mess she had worked so hard for.

She was careful to not return to your clit full throttle, only kitten licking when needed and mischievously enjoying the whining from you when she did. Besides that, her work was careful and purposeful until you were free to let her slip your underwear and comfy pants onto your very much tired self.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Sub!Calum Masterlist

a different kinda love (ao3) - citiesbelow michael/calum, ot4 E, 6k

Summary: Calum and Michael decide to spend an evening at home having kinky sex and then it ends up more emotionally intense than planned, but they cuddle and talk it out and everyone's happy in the end.

Anything For You (ao3) - boomercal calum/ashton, michael/calum E, 2k

Summary: Calum will do just about anything for Ashton

cant believe i made you weak (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum E, 2k

Summary: calum probably stares at michaels asshole longer than intended. hes been a bottom in his only relationship hes ever had; with michael. hes never ate a boy out, never done anything with a boys ass. but now michaels ass is spread open right in front of his face and he was excited. he wants to make michael feel as good as michael makes him.

Daddy lessons (ao3) - Latefan_5sos1d_wherewasi ot4 M, 5k

Summary: Luke has been acting up recently and Ashton had just the idea to try out and fix this problem.

Five Golden Rules of Submission (ao3) - shesagoodgirl Calum/Ashton E, 3k

Summary: soo, thank you to kittenmichael for the lovely idea. thank you to calum for being a filthy exhibitionist. and thank you to ashton for being ready to dom calum when you need him.

I’d like to see you have your way (ao3) - iambic_pulse, phanjessmagoria ot4 E, 20k

Summary: Ashton asks Luke to take control of him one night, just for a little change of pace. It doesn’t go as well as he hopes

I Don't Need It To Be Easy, I Need It To Be Worth It (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum, luke/ashton M, 18k

Summary: *The blond one chuckles without humour, “Alright, you wanna play dumb, fine. But don’t go anywhere near my mum again, got it?”

Now, Calum is starting to get angry too, “Who the fuck do you think you are? I'll hang out with who I want, I’m not gonna let a wanna be Billie Joe Armstrong dictate my life.”

Michael is smirking now, “Cute insult,” he says mockingly. “I wonder how clever you have to be to come up with this, what a sass genius.”

“Fuck you.”

“You’re just proving my point,” says the blond one.*

After making the resolution of becoming more athletic, Calum decides to take up yoga class. There, he meets Karen, a rich white L.A yoga mum, who's also a very happy and sweet lady who keeps invating him to the most exclusively rich people events.

One day, he meets her son: Michael. This guy couldn't be more different from his mum; he wears dark clothes, dark make-up, and he's rude.

Another issue: Michael seems to hate Calum, and wants him to stay away from Karen, and Calum isn't sure why...

I love the way you scream my name (ao3) - mlstyles257 ot4 N/R, 5k

Summary: The boys had purchased the Sybian months ago. But their lives were so hectic, that they haven’t gotten around to using it yet. First, they were working on their new album, then they were on the road on tour, before finally, after months of the toy collecting dust in their closet, they had free time. Michael was the one to stumble across the toy while…doing some research. He immediately sent the link to Ashton and Calum with a simple caption of ‘for Luke’. Safe to say, they bought it pretty quickly.

Luke is a little anxious to try out the new toy, but with a little reassurance from his boyfriends and a demonstration from Calum, he agrees to give it a go.

Pup (ao3) - orphan_account Calum/Ashton, Michael/Luke N/R, 4k

Summary: Calum and Luke are cuddled up together on the couch, while Ashton watches from the side. He's pissed. Whether its at Luke or Calum, he doesn't know, but he just wants it to end. Mikey manages to keep him calm until Luke is stupid enough to say the word. When the word slips from Luke's lips, Ashton's anger slides out of control.

Ready, princess? (ao3) - orphan_account calum/ashton M, 1k

Summary: After Calum almost calls Ashton ‘daddy’ in the middle of an interview, he has to be punished.

Rules Were Made To Be Broken, Worlds Were Made To Be Explored (ao3) - SilentlyFighting michael/ashton, luke/calum G, 30k

Summary: When rules are broken, sometimes the world is easier to live in. Calum, Luke, and Michael introduce Ashton to a world that he had no idea was so extensive in some ways and at first, he feels out of his depth, but soon he is so far in that he doesn't even care anymore.

Or, the one where the boys show Ashton that liking boys is not necessarily a bad thing and he gets a boyfriend out of it, even though his friends are major cockblocks when it gets down to it.

say you want me and dont be nice (send those shivers running down my spine) (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum N/R, 5k

Summary: :+: Calum and Michael are in gangs, and when Calum gets slightly turned on by the gun in Michael's hands, things get dirty :+:

So tell me what you want when you want more (ao3) - kittenmichael calum/ashton N/R, 4k

Summary: “So eager,” Ashton hisses. “Want me to fuck you? Press you into the mattress and use you to get myself off?”

Calum is still struggling to breathe, lungs savouring whatever air he gets past his swollen lips, jaw trapped in Ashton’s grip. Ashton’s fingers travel to his chin, thumb wiping away some of the blood. It presses down on Calum’s lip hard. His nails dig into the tender skin, surely breaking it and drawing even more blood. Calum just kneels further, let’s Ashton guide and kneed him. He gets pliant in Ashton’s hands. By now, he has accepted that he’s entirely at Ashton’s mercy.

or, Calum and Ashton have hot BDSM sex for the first time

we’re speaking in bodies (ao3) - thedeathofhyacinth ot4 E, 3k

Summary: Calum loves his Doms and his Doms love him.

Whiskey On Your Breath (ao3) - pitypartyof1 Calum/Ashton E, 2k

Summary: “Ashton likes the taste of whiskey, maybe a bit more than he should, always has. Likes it even more when he tastes it on Calum’s skin.”

Yes Daddy (ao3) - cinnamonhood ot4 M, 2k

Summary: Luke and Calum are caught breaking the rules and are punished by their daddies.

[magess]

Cyrano de Bergerac - McAvoy Edition

Thanks to Tumblr, I had seen this image. And learned that this image was from a production of Cyrano de Bergerac.

Several months ago, I saw the Peter Dinklage movie of the musical Cyrano, and then learned that this stage production with James was going to be in Brooklyn soon. So I thought, 1) I wanna see him kiss this man, 2) I wanna see what changes they have made to this story such that he is kissing Christian. 

I have now just gotten back from seeing the play.

First, I think there are several things that the Jamie Lloyd production with James (hereafter: McAvoy production) does better. The story of Cyrano requires you as an audience to just accept a number of completely implausible things. Among them, love at first sight. Christian going along with this plan where Cyrano does all the talking for him. Roxane being unable to tell that Christian is not only not the man writing the letters but also not be able to tell that he isn't even the one TALKING at one point. And that Roxane is such the epitome of womanhood that both of these men will basically die without her affection.

Thing 1: Roxane is a person

This is pretty huge, actually. But in the Dinklage musical, she's just sort of there. She's pretty. Cyrano loves her because she was nice to him as a child when everyone else has been hateful to him and he's basically spent his life infatuated. But she's not really... great at anything? She's not outstandingly kind or smart or funny. She's just an object they are obsessed with.

In the McAvoy production, Roxane is a student. She's going to the university to learn about literature and poetry, and these intellectual pursuits are paramount for her. Everyone in the show is part of a poetry society, it seems. They all value the spoken word, Cyrano most of all.

She challenges men. She demands to be seen. It seemed to me like Roxane and Cyrano shared an interest in poetry that helped them meet on an intellectual level, not just an infatuation level. 

Thing 2: The Energy

I had no idea what I was going to see, really. Was it going to be a rap musical? 

Well, it did open with a rap battle, but there was a lot that wasn't rapid fire streams of words. It was, however, slam poetry all through. If you know how to do the Open Captions thing at a theater, I would suggest it for this show, because I honestly wanted captions just so I wouldn't miss what they were saying. The phrasings were all clever, it was just so fast, and in a Scottish accent, that I couldn't catch it all. And I love me some Scottish accent. 

Cyrano's energy is wild. High passions. Funny. Serious. Angry. He runs the gamut.

There's a humor throughout that does not exist in the Dinklage production. 

Thing 3: That Accent

Let James perform with his natural accent all the time. His voice is sex appeal all on its own. Seriously. There's a long soliloquy that's just him reciting how much he loves Roxane, and it's just sublime to listen to him say it.

Thing 4: Side Characters

There's a whole thing with the baker and lemon tarts...

Thing 5: Cyrano

This McAvoy's production asks you to believe that James McAvoy is ugly. They don't try to make him ugly. They just describe a nose so ugly and offensive that only insults can be said about it. And they expect you to suspend you disbelief rather than try to slap a fake nose on him and make him ugly. 

The Things That Don't Work

Thing 1: Christian

I think the problem with Cyrano is Christian. He was a problem with the Dinklage production, too. Part of it, maybe a huge part of it, is that I fundamentally don't buy Love At First Sight. I believe in Sexual Attraction At First Sight, mostly because the world tells me that it happens. But no, with Christian it's love. Roxane knows in her bones that he's beautiful and kind and smart and poetic. And she's going to love him and marry him. 

If he's that great, I sort of need him to BE THAT GREAT. The Dinklage Christian was... sweet. A good person, but not outstanding in any way. Just decent. 

The McAvoy Christian was introduced as an asshole and became a witless moron. He was a genuinely stupid person who had no redeeming qualities. His only quality seemed to be a willingness to play into Cyrano's plan. 

EDIT: Ok, I thought I was done with this, but I'm not. Christian is introduced in this production, like his first big scene, meeting Cyrano at the barracks. All the other soldiers tell him that Cyrano is sensitive about his nose and not to mention it if you don't want to get in a fight.

Christian GOES OUT OF HIS WAY to throw as many insults as he can at Cyrano as soon as he sees him, trying to provoke him. This is how he's presented. "Please, don't upset our good friend, who we all love dearly." "I'm going to insult this loser so hard, it's gonna be great!"

That's bully behavior. He goes out of his way trying to have a laugh and hurt the hero that, as the audience, we are already fond of. And I'm supposed to... what? Forgive him? Like him? Fuck that.

Not only does he lose all credibility with me in that instant, he loses all my generosity, all benefit of the doubt. Roxane thinks he must be a good man, and the first thing I really see him do is this?

No. Demerits. He's now in a hole he has to dig himself out of.

I also just don't think I liked the actor? I couldn't decide what his accent was supposed to be, but it made him sound like a fool on top of that malicious initial behavior. 

Thing 2: That Kiss

I can't tell you how disappointing this is to say because I went to see this production because of that kiss. But really, I cannot tell you why it happened. The scene is during the final act, when their regiment has been ordered to a suicide mission. Cyrano has told Christian that he's been writing to Roxane several times a day and he wants to tell him about the final good-bye letter he's written. 

Christian freaks out over how much they've been lying to her. And also Roxane has told him that his pretty surface doesn't matter to her because she's in love with the person inside, and he knows the person inside isn't him.

So they're having this emotional breakdown moment, and Christian asks "Is there a version of life where two men can live as one person?" He gives Cyrano a long look and then kisses him. It is a surprise to Cyrano. Painful for both of them. And then Christian basically runs off and dies.

And the problem is... I cannot square WHY Christian kisses him. If Christian is supposed to have fallen in love WITH CYRANO, when? When did that happen? 

At one point Cyrano tells him that he loves him, but again, when? How did that come to be? Because so far all he's been doing is carrying Christian's sorry ass everywhere, protecting him, getting him a wife, keeping him from harm. Christian isn't so much a person as a puppy he was told to take care of. 

And the thing is... the potential in that image is vast. 

Imagine queering this story, such that Christian and Cyrano love each other and they also both love Roxane. Roxane thinks she loves Christian but actually loves Cyrano. When Christian dies, they're both crippled with grief, but only Cyrano knew who Christian really was because of the time they spent in the war together where their relationship actually developed. Roxane is grieving a lie and not being in love with Cyrano when she could be, because he never reveals the truth until the end.

It's MORE complicated but I feel like there's something juicy in this triangle of misunderstanding, hiding, lies, and love. 

I thought the McAvoy production was going to do something like that story, but it didn't, it stuck mostly to the script, except for that curious kiss. The scenes are basically beat for beat the same as the Dinklage version, just with different words.

Thoughts

So now I think someone needs to take another run at this but really focus on making Christian as great as everyone thinks he is. He needs charisma and kindness and intelligence. In the McAvoy version's slam poetry setting, being unable to come up with poetry on the fly would be a skill that he conceivably could not have that Cyrano does, which does not also require that he be stupid.

Give me like... Jensen Ackles. Some ridiculously gorgeous man with maxed out charisma who is also kind. LET HIM BE KIND AND CHARMING WITH PEOPLE. I need to like him. *I* need to like him so I can believe that everyone else likes him. 

Do the love triangle. I mean, it's RIGHT THERE. Christian even SAYS that he can talk to men but he can't talk to women. HE CAN TALK TO MEN. MAYBE HE WRITES CYRANO A LETTER, EVEN. And this is why Cyrano will know him in a way that Roxane won't ever. **And that someone was actually worth knowing.**

If you're in the NYC area, you should see if there are any tickets left! 

[rommahh]

I Carry Your Heart

Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 4k

{Ahhhh ok so this is my first work like ever. There will definitely be a second part because ive got more to say and it needs a second part. I hope whoever sees and reads this imagine enjoys it. I appreciate comments, likes, reblogs, ideas on what could go into the story, and any form of help and redirection as to how i should write things. Much love, R.}.

Part two

All Y/N wanted tonight was to hang out with her boyfriend, eat a mass amount of junk food, and watch a marvel movie or two. That was all she wanted and that was all she asked of her boyfriend. Instead of any of that happening, she found herself sitting on the nasty kitchen island of her boyfriend's frat at a party that she was trying to avoid going to.

This party was supposedly ‘the party of the year.’ The last rager before finals and then christmas break. Y/N had spent the whole week studying and finishing up end of semester projects hence the want for a chill night. When Harry came to her saying his frat was throwing a party tonight and that he just HAD to be here, Y/N didn't feel like she had a choice but to let him go. She came because she thought this would be the only time she would be able to have some time with Harry after a long week of barely seeing each other. With two vastly different majors, the couple wasnt able to find a lot of time in the middle of school work to make time for just the two of them. Obviously her hopes of quality time with her man were futile because here she was sitting by herself in the kitchen of the frat while Harry drank and got high with his friends in other parts of the house.

Of course she was disappointed. She felt a knot in her throat and a weight on her chest just sitting there in that kitchen. Her white claw was warm now- not that it was any cold when she opened it. She was starting to form a small headache from the too loud music and the ache in her heart was growing.

She stood from the countertop on the search for her boyfriend, hoping he wasn't too far gone from sober. Wiping the back of her jeans from anything that was left on the island, she began walking around the house. She doesn't remember the last time the two of them spent time together by themselves. Of course they occasionally ate dinner together in the dining hall but they were normally surrounded by friends. Y/N wanted to be alone with her boyfriend to talk and bask in his presence.

After pushing through groups of partying humans, she found Harry and at least ten other people sitting around playing some sort of drinking game.

“Y/N! Where have you been?” Luca, one of Harry's frat brothers yelled out to her from the circle. Luca was cool, he was one of the only tolerable boys in this frat aside from Harry. Hearing his girlfriend's name, Harry turned around from where he sat on the ground and reached out for his girlfriend to sit beside him. Much to Y/N’s dismay, Harry was wasted. His eyes were half mass and his words bumped and slurred together. “We are playing truth or dare, wanna play?” Luca asked.

“I don't wanna play but Ill sit and watch.” Sitting next to her boyfriend, she grabbed one of his hands holding it in her lap. She was annoyed at him but it did her no good to show it when he was this drunk.

This game of truth or dare was childish. Dares of licking people's shoes and taking multiple shots had been done and truths about money and relationships were being spilled among the group. It had finally become Harry’s turn to do something, making Y/N tense.

“Ok Harry, I dare you to…” One drunk frat boy started looking around the room trying to come up with something clever. His eyes landed on a pretty girl in the room, Yara, a stuck up girl who for sure got her way no matter what. “I dare you to kiss the hottest girl in the room- obviously not your girlfriend because that defeats the purpose.” The frat boy smirked knowing what his intentions were. Everyone in the group giggles and gasped shocked by the dare but ready to see what was going to go down. Y/N’s brows furrowed as she became angry with the stupid dare.

The ache in her chest seemed to tip over the edge when she felt her boyfriend in the room move to stand up. She grabbed at the bottom of his shirt as a way of stopping him. Harry halted his movements to look down at his girlfriend. He giggled a little.

“You’re not actually going to do this right?” She asked Harry with wide eyes of shock. Harry laughed at her like she made a joke, making her heart hurt even more.”Harry I do not want you to do this just take the shot and lose the dare.” Her tone held warning.

“Don't be silly of course I'm going to. It's just a dare, nothing serious. Don't be so clingy.” He stood walking over to Yara and planted a wet kiss on her mouth. Yara gripped Harry’s shirt and kissed him harder. The kiss went on for a few more seconds, the room absolutely silent out of shock. Harry stepped back from Yara slightly sobering up from his actions. Yara smirked at Y/N, hand gliding down the front of Harry's shirt.

Y/N stood from the seat she was in and scoffed. Scoffed because she should've known Harry would do something like this. Scoffed because it hurt to see her boyfriend do something so careless without any regard for his girl's feelings. She pulled herself together, feeling her throat tighten once again. She was quick to leave the room and down the hall of the frat.

Harry's clumsy steps could be heard from behind her as he mumbled her name. Or at least he tried to. He was still so out of it, his words not making much sense. Y/N was crying now, the strength that she had slowly dissolving as she walked further away from her boyfriend.

“Y/N wait. P-please wait. I cant-” Harry stumbled over his legs behind her falling into the grass of the front yard. The girl couldn't help but turn around looking at her stupid boyfriend. She was choking on sobs now. She wasn't crying over a measly little kiss but over an extreme amount of burnout from school and exhaustion from simply existing. She was crying because her boyfriend ignored her boundaries, crushing and erasing the boundaries she had set in their relationship. Harry tried reaching for her once she had stopped walking. His hand clasped around her wrist, he laid his head down on her shoulder. He hated seeing her cry even if he was too drunk to see why.

“Baby don't leave, Im-Im Sorry.” He hiccuped and burped due to the alcohol. Y/N felt her rage build. Shoving Harry off of her, she crossed her arms across her chest as a way to shield herself from Harry physically. He was hurt by her distance and the wall she put up around her.

“You're an idiot Harry. An idiot!” her sobs grew louder, some stray party goers watching in amusement- some even snapchatting it for shits and giggles. “I didnt want you to kiss her and you did. What provoked you to think that was ok? All I wanted was for us to hang out tonight and just be us and you did this!” She was yelling now. Her hurt is beyond her now. Anger and rage simmered throughout her body making her head dizzy and her fingers curl within themselves. She didnt like being angry. It wasn't an emotion she liked acting on, it felt impersonal.

“Baby I don't under-” Before Harry could finish his sentence he was barfing at his feet. Y/N stepped back disgusted with her boyfriend. She couldn't even feel remorseful because of how angry she was. Luca, the frat brother from earlier, caught up with Harry and his girl only to find Harry doubled over heaving. Luca wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders.

“I'm sorry Luca but I can't do this tonight. Can you please make sure he gets some water and goes to bed. I-I can't do it tonight, I wish I could but I can't.” Y/N didn't want to leave her boyfriend in this state but she didn't deserve this. She wasn't going to care for her drunk boyfriend when all she wanted to do was care for herself. Selfishly, she enjoyed seeing him this way because of the anger he caused her.

Luca shook his head in understandment. ��Of course, I'm really sorry for tonight. He's going to seriously regret this in the morning, especially since it will be circulating all over snapchat in the morning.” Luca waved to Y/N then proceeded to pull Harry into the house. Harry called out for Y/N not wanting to be away from her but Luca pulled him harder.

Harry woke up the next morning feeling like the bottom of a dumpster. He wasn't shocked by that. He knew he got trashed last night, he had planned to. He, just like Y/N, spent all week studying and completing projects while also fulfilling certain responsibilities for his frat. He wanted one night to be a normal teen. So he drank and drank and drank and maybe even smoked some weed. As he tried to recall last night's events he came up with nothing. He didn't understand why Y/N wasn't here with him like she normally would after a party on the weekend. They were normally always together during the weekend. A bad feeling loomed over him. He could tell something wasn't right but decided to put his feelings to the side.

He saw a bottle of water beside his bed making him think she was probably here and left early. Chugging the water he started to go through his socials to see if anyone had posted about the party. He had multiple tagged pics and videos in his notifications from snapchat. Way more than he normally would.

The first video he saw was a video of him and Y/N standing in the front yard of the frat house. Turning the volume all the way up he could hear Y/N yelling, it shocked him. She doesn't normally raise her voice, especially not at him. The angle changed showing her face which was red with anger, eyes filled with unshed tears. He could hear her yelling about him kissing someone else. He felt his heart stop. He had kissed someone else? On the next snap was a picture of him keeled over vomiting on his shoes with the caption saying, ‘are yall seeing this shit?’ Harry was embarrassed but he was more concerned than anything.

His head was hurting but it didn't stop him from rolling out of bed, washing up, and putting on a fresh set of clothes. He checked his phone hoping Y/N had messaged him but nothing was there. He walked into the kitchen only to see luca sitting at the counter eating cereal.

“Hey Harry….” Luca said warily. Luca pushed the cereal around his bowl feeling the tension begin to rise in the room. He felt horrible about his friends.

“Luca...what's up?” Harry was confused by Lucas' wariness.

“So do you remember anything about last night?” Luca asked, setting his cereal down in the sink behind him. Harry started playing with the frayed edges of a bracelet Y/N made for him. It had little beads with her name on it. They made them together at an event on campus.

“I don't, I only saw the videos of Y/N screaming at me. I think I fucked up but I- I don't know what happened.” Harry's cheek flushed with even more embarrassment. Luca awkwardly chuckled scratching the back of his neck.

“You got dared to kiss the hottest girl in the room and um actually did it in front of Y/N...even though she didn't want you to. Which led you guys outside and yeah you know the rest...Im sorry dude, I wish I had stopped you.”

“Who- who did I kiss?” Harrys stomach lurched when he heard Yara’s name come out of Lucas' name. Y/N didn't like Yara and it was understandable. Yara has been pining after Harry since their first year of college. Harry couldn't breathe. He felt disgusted with himself. He could only imagine how Y/N was feeling.

Y/N woke up the same morning, eyes puffy and crusty from tears and head hurting. She probably cried herself into dehydration. She was lucky enough to have no roommate because she wouldn't have wanted someone else to see her breakdown. She still couldn't believe last night went down the way it went down. She couldn't tell if she was just being overdramatic or if her emotions were in the right place. She didn't want to be mad at Harry. He was everything to her, she had an odd connection to him. Meeting him during their freshman welcome week they quickly became best friends with a growing romantic connection in the mix. They started dating before Christmas break. They had grown close so fast that he even came home with her to meet her family for the first few days of break.  Even though they were in their junior year of college, Y/N could see them beyond college. She's imagined them getting married, travelling, sharing a home. She saw the whole future with him. She had her doubts though. He was immature just like every other boy in college. He was dumb with his actions and tended to only do things if they benefited him. He had a lot of growing to do as a person, so did she but she wanted to grow with him.

She heard a knock on her door hesitating to answer it because one, it could be Harry, and two, she looked like a wreck. Answering anyways, she was met with a very sorry looking Harry holding a small coffee and bagel from their cafe.

“Hi baby…” He sheepishly said holding out the items. She silently let him through the door not once looking him in the eye. He stepped into her room, setting her treats on her desk. He could see that her bed was messy meaning she recently woke up. Y/N never went about her day without making her bed. He turned back to her and finally their eyes met. He took in all of her facial features, from her puffy eyes, to her downturned lips that looked chapped, to her flushed cheeks that longed to be held for warmth. He hated to see her like this, the last time he saw her so upset was when her parents moved out of her childhood home. It took alot to make Y/N this upset. She was normally really headstrong and vigilant. She knew how to ease her way out of problematic situations and could talk her way through anything.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Y/N holding her hand up in front of his face. “Don't talk. I'm really hurt Harry, so if your plan was to come over here and apologize over bagels- think again.” She snapped, backing up to put space between the two of them. She sat down on her bed while Harry pulled the desk chair out and sat down. He much preferred to be on the bed with her holding her tight but he didn't want to overstep boundaries.

“Love, I don't know where to begin. I'm really sorry for what happened last night. I was really drunk and obviously wasn't in the right headspace.” Harry reached out and touched the tips of her fingers with his. She wanted to move but it felt good to be touched by Harry.

“I told you that a measly little apology won't do Harry. I didn't want you to kiss Yara and you did anyway. You know how Yara feels about you and you just let it happen!” She pulled her hand away remembering the prior night's events. Harry felt himself getting angry too. He felt like he needed to defend himself- even though it would be a very bad idea.

“I think you're being over dramatic.” Wrong move Harry. “It wasn't like I was making out with her!”

“You're joking right?” She scoffed and scooted further up her bed to create more distance. “Harry it's the simple fact that you did something that made me uncomfortable that shouldn't have even happened. I see myself getting married to you and it makes me worry that right now in our relationship you can't respect my boundaries!” She yelled. Harry’s eyes widened as he laughed sarcastically.

“Married? What the fuck are you on about? I'm a junior in college. In what world would it make sense for me to be prepping a relationship for marriage? Once again I think you're being over dramatic.” Her eyes watered hearing Harry's statement.

“I- I guess I'm the only one in this relationship thinking about the future? I thought we were on the same page. I'm not planning our marriage now, obviously. I'm thinking about how elements of our relationship now could play out in the future when we do want to get married. You cheated on me last night. I went to a party you begged ME to go to only to be there for you. I wanted to be here cuddling with you, pigging out on fast food but I was at a party with you and got cheated on!” Her volume rises once again, making Harry shove his chair from underneath him when he stands up.

“You're doing too much right now. I'm not planning a future right now because I don't want this future! I want to be myself without thinking about how to appease my girlfriend. I invited you to the party so you could lighten the fuck up. I love you, I do, but I'm not thinking of marriage and futures. I'm thinking about my life right now and having fun.” Harry snapped right back at her. Her chin wobbled. Obviously her and Harry were on different pages. It hurt so much to hear him say that he didn't want a future with her. Harry didn't mean it though.

“Ok, well I guess that's my fault for assuming we were thinking along the same lines. Um, I don't want to hold you back from being yourself so with that being said, you are a free man Harry.” She pushed herself up from her bed walking to the door ready to escort Harry out.

“Huh? Love, what?” Harry was confused on how they got to this point. Just a few days ago they were in love, meeting in the library to share a lunch and exchanging sweet words determined by their love.

“Listen I have a day full of exams tomorrow so if you could just leave that would be best. You don't really want this so I'm letting you go, Harry.” She had tears rolling down her face, falling from her eyes down to her chin where they fell to the ground in droplets. Harry’s eyes welled up watching his love cry before him.

“I don't-”

“Harry, leave, please.” She opened the door making room for him to go through. He walked through the door turning to look at her. She turned her face away from him whispering a small goodbye before shutting the door. Harry was left in the silent hallway, so silent he could hear his thoughts and the tears hitting the tile floor beneath him. He thinks he stood there for at least thirty more minutes before accepting what had happened and walking away.

Leaving Y/N in her room sobbing like she had never done before. Her tears coated her face and she thought her head could explode right then and there. She didn't want to accept what had happened but she had priorities. She composed herself enough to start studying for her exams.

The week rolled by quickly, Monday meeting Friday in a flash. Exams were done and Christmas break was on the horizon. Students were piling off of campus in a hurry ready to get home to their loved ones. People were outside by cars loading up their winter necessaries and saying their goodbyes to their close friends.

Harry cried everyday this week. He wasn't normally a crier. He hated crying, he hated the feeling of crying and the headache that came from it. He cried because he realized how wrong he was. He missed Y/N. He missed finals week dinner together where they tried to get off campus at least once and be alone for a moment. He missed watching her relax while eating food that wasn't from their school's cafeteria. He would pay for their meal just so she could have one less thing to worry about. They would normally get frozen yogurt right after too, Y/N getting as many toppings as she wanted because Harry would be the one paying. He missed her tight after exam hugs. She would squeeze his shoulders tight, smiling into his neck, telling him how proud she was of him. She would bring him tea in the morning when they met for breakfast. Sometimes they would spend the night in one or the others room so they could have time together to destress and just talk.

Y/N wasn't doing any better. She normally went into exam week feeling confident. She studied too hard not to. But this week she felt like shit. Her heart hurt and she kept thinking about the fight. She feels like she overreacted but hearing Harry talk about their lack of a future hurt nonetheless. She really assumed that they did have a future that included marriage and a life together. She didn't understand where his sudden lack of commitment came from. She regretted dumping him but at the same time she wished he did more to get them back together but he was silent. He hasn't contacted her at all and avoided all of their spots on campus all together.

She stood by her car prepping for her six hours car ride back home. Packing away her clothes and some essentials in the trunk of her car, she heard light footsteps behind her. Closing her trunk she turned to see Harry standing with his hands in his pockets.  

“Hi.” He said. She looked at him, putting her own hands in her pockets. It was cold outside, the nippy air hinting at a possibility of snow.

“Hi Harry.” They shared a moment of silence together. Just staring at each other. It felt good to be near each other again. They felt like they could breathe again.

“I had to see you before you left. I know the break is only a month but I didn't want to leave without seeing you.” He replied quietly. She made him feel so shy. Her beauty always made him awestruck. Even in a hoodie with their college's logo and some large sweatpants and some fuzzy crocs, she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

“I don't know what to say harry.”

“It's ok. I don't deserve anything from you after what I said. I just wanted to apologize and wish you a good break before you left. I also wanted to give you this.” He pulled a small box and envelope out of the front pocket of his backpack. “I know we agreed on no presents but I think thats a dumb rule and I love you too much to not get you something.” She smiled at his words, taking the gift from his hands.

“Thank you Harry, it means a lot to me. So what are your plans for a break?” She asked him, the tension that was in the air slowly dissipating.

“I couldn't get a flight home until next wednesday so i'll stay here on campus until then.” He shrugged.

“Oh ok. Well tell Anne I said hi. I have to go Harry but I'll see you after the break, ok?” She didn't want to leave him but she didn't want to drive through the dark.

“Ok, love. Drive safe. I lov- I mean have a good break.” Her chest tightened at his hesitation. She wants to hear him say the words but she knows he won't.

“Have a good break Harry.” She whispered. Before getting in her car she stood on her toes placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Rubbing her thumb across his cheek and turning away and into her car.

She drove away knowing that her heart was left in that parking lot in the hands of someone she loves way too much.

Harry stood in the parking lot watching his heart drive away for winter wanting nothing more than to be with her.

Part two