#was thinking about remus and emmeline's dynamic and ended up with this

[enbysiriusblack]

"Emmeline, hi." Remus smiled as she approached the small table in the library, he had picked one far in the corner, away from any other people.

Emmeline sat down opposite, glancing around curiously, "I didn't know the library was so big, it took me ages to find you."

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry. I usually study here since it's less distracting... I thought you spent time in the library often?"

Emmeline grinned, grabbing her handbag and pulling out a light blue quill, "Of course I do, I suppose I just always sit where the people and the lights are", she glanced up to the shadowed corner they sat in.

Remus glanced at her, "We can move if you want to?"

"No, it's fine! You're totally right, we should be concentrating. So have you got any ideas yet?"

"Me?" Remus frowned slightly, "Oh, well yeah I have a few."

"Great", Emmeline smiled at him, "Then we can just do one of those! It'll be easy!"

"Did you not have any ideas you wanted to put forward? It's fine if you don't, of course, I just thought you would."

"No, not really", Emmeline adjusted her headband before carefully writing her name neatly on a piece of parchment, "I've been swamped with other classes at the moment, you know how it is?"

"Yeah that's understandable, well I thought we could do our project on the imperius curse and we could reflect on its connections to amortentia, asking if it could be classes as a lower form of the imperius curse in a potion format, with both giving someone control over someone's being. Sirius was telling me the other day about amortentia making it easy to be controlled through manipulation of the obsessive love it gives you, and he said they'd have a lot of books here that we could use for our research."

"That sounds perfect! So have you read the books already?"

"I thought that's what we could do today?" Remus smiled awkwardly, "You could read one's about the imperius curse and I could read ones about amortentia, or the other way around if you wanted, then we can talk about what we found and compare and contrast them."

Emmeline nodded, "Yeah, sounds great. I'm good taking the imperius one, it seems easier."

Remus grabbed his cane as they both began to stand up, "Right", he glanced to her slightly confused.

An hour later, they were both back at the table, now filled with various books. Remus was messily scribbling notes as he read an old looking book. Emmeline's own book was open but she was instead doodling an owl underneath the two sentences she had previously written.

She glanced up to Remus with a small sigh, "How long are we doing this for?"

His eyes drifted up to her, "Oh, sorry, did you have something else to do?"

Emmeline shrugged, "It's not that. It's just we've been here for like two hours already. I cannot read anymore."

Remus nodded in understanding, "Yeah, of course. Um, I'm not quite done with my section, but if you've got enough notes on the imperius curse then I can just finish up mine alone and we could meet to talk more tomorrow?"

Emmeline immediately started packing up her things, "Okay, yeah, let's do that!"

"I can keep onto your notes for you, if you want?"

Emmeline passed him the sheet, and swung her bag over her shoulders.

Remus glanced at the sheet and then back to Emmeline, "You only gave me this one?"

"Yeah that's it", She smiled, reaching over the desk and kissing his cheek, "You're like the best project partner, we're gonna do so great on this!"

"Thank you", Remus mumbled as she took her leave.

James came running over a few minutes later, map in hand and still dressed in his quidditch uniform, "Hey, mate!"

Remus smiled up at him, "Hi, James. Um, So I just had my project meeting with Emmeline and-"

James winced, "Ah."

"I thought she wanted to be an auror and was constantly studying?"

James grinned, taking the seat Emmeline was previously in, "She wants to, but just never manages to get the willpower to do so, I guess. She was my partner in my potions last term, and I was expecting to get the best mark ever with her, but it was a total failure. I actually had to do work, like all the work. Well, okay my dad was owling me on what to do but still. She fell asleep or started gossiping with me most classes."

Remus passed him her work, "She drew an owl."

James snorted, taking the sheet for a better look, "Well it's a very good owl."

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"You know... The girls are trying to find me a boyfriend"

Remus had let that comment loose with clear intentions. He wanted to see a certain reaction of jealousy and possession over Sirius. The kind of reaction he had had with Emmeline a few months ago when she showed interest in him.

But then Remus felt stupid. He wanted so badly to be cool with all of this.

Remus had done casual with Grant before. It wasn't a big deal. And most of the time, Remus liked whatever he had with Sirius. He didn't mind the secret. It was exciting to hide around or sneak glances at each other when they were around others. Remus liked having Sirius to himself when no one was around. He knew that no matter which girls Sirius flirted with, he would be Remus's at the end of the day. Nobody kissed him like Remus. Nobody knew him like Remus. They had shared secrets with each other that no one else knew.

Remus believed they had a special connection no one else had. That they were meant to be together. To end up together eventually. Remus believed that he was the love of Sirius’s life. He just had to wait until Sirius was ready to admit it.

Remus knew he was special for Sirius. And the other way around. They were friends. Best friends. They kissed, and had fun without the complications of a relationship. But God, sometimes he wished they could be something else. Remus saw couples like James and Lily, so open and in love that he fantasized about being that way with Sirius. Though that was impossible.

"Oh..." Sirius answered without looking at him.

Remus didn't know why he had said what he said. They had sneaked out from the Common Room to have a smoke. That comment was out of line. Sirius clearly wasn't searching for it.

"Yeah, you know the girls" Remus tried to lose the tension by laughing a little.

"Do you want a boyfriend?" Sirius asked, only staring at the cigarette consuming between his fingers.

"No... I mean... At some point" Remus shrugged "Not now"

Remus had recently acknowledged he was into blokes. He never thought himself in relationships.  He wanted to be himself first. He wanted to feel comfortable in his own body. That was before developing this want for Sirius.

Sirius nodded. "It's okay if you want to. I mean you know I don't want to date anyone. But if you want... That's fine"

Sirius had tried to sound indifferent though Remus was searching for a bit of jealousy in his words.

"I..."

"I mean if you find someone nice we can't stop all of this, Moons" Sirius finally looked up giving him a small smile. How could he smile?

"Do you want to stop?" Remus snapped in defense. He felt a knot on his throat. The fear of losing Sirius now was unbearable.

Sirius immediately shook his head "No" though his eyes were everywhere but on the boy in front of him. "Do you?"

"No!" Remus was the happiest accepting whatever Sirius could give him. Waiting for Sirius to want to be with him. To love him as much as he did.

"Okay" Sirius bit his lip, unsure "But Moony... You are bloody perfect" he looked down as if these words were hurting him "If you find someone you deserve, let me know... You'll have to date someone nice eventually"

'I want you!' Remus wanted to yell. But he didn't dare. This was the fatal flaw of this relationship. Remus was too in love with Sirius to be cool and casual. And he was so scared of breaking everything up by being honest.

"I don't want a relationship either" Remus looked away and took a drag from his cigarette. "The girls, specially Mary, think I need some bloke or something. It is stupid" The smoke that came out became a sigh of disappointment.

"Girls are hopeless romantics" Sirius commented "But we are too young for that sort of stuff, yeah? Prongs is the fool in love... But not you and me, eh Moons?"

What was that supposed to mean?

"Yeah sure"

Remus was silent after that. He felt Sirius’s penetrating eyes on him as they smoked in silence. Bringing this topic up ruined their dynamic and made things awkward. Remus wished it wasn't that way. He didn't want to lose Sirius by being stupid. He was just stupid.

"So... Are we okay, Moony?"

"Ha?" Remus turned.

Sirius’s eyes showed desperation to fix whatever had happened.

Sirius smiled at him "Are you angry?"

Remus sighed relieving the tension. He smiled as well "I'm always angry, Padfoot" he added with a snort "But yeah, we are okay. Why wouldn't we?"

Remus saw the relief on Sirius’s expression.

"Good, because I don't want to lose you to some stupid bloke" Sirius said teasing. That made Remus smile.

"Jealous much?" This is what Remus wanted in the first place.

Sirius made sure they were alone and stepped closer.

"For now I want those gorgeous lips to be only mine" Sirius said squeezing Remus's chin and pulling him in for a kiss.

Yeah, Remus thought as he smiled through the kisses, this is exactly what he was expecting.

This bloody thing was so confusing. Maybe Remus wanted more. But God, how willing he was to comfort himself with these little comments that drove Remus crazy. He was willing to accept anything from Sirius. Because he was a fool in love. Although Sirius might or might not feel the same. And Remus had only himself to blame.

[nothingtoseeherebyeexx]

number oneeee: your art style is so beautiful, it feels so comforting just looking at your art.

number twooo: i’m an absolute sucker for both marlene mckinnon and the marylily ship and your work on them is immaculate. favourite headcanons?

number threeee: i truly hope u have a lovely day night and rest of the week

thank you for all the compliments and i hope you too have a lovely week <3

here are some headcanons!

marlene

youngest of three children, by the time she started attending hogwarts her older siblings had already graduated, and were generally making their parents proud with brilliant careers. for this reason, marlene’s parents never seemed to care about her or have any expectations for her, so she also stopped caring about her studies and grew a rebellious personality.

despite her disinterest in studying, since she came from a family of powerful wizards, magic wasn’t hard for her, and she was actually rather talented. however, she didn’t really believe she was a good witch because of the lack of attention from her parents in her childhood.

her witty and rebellious personality matched quite well with remus’, and they became close: they have matching stick n pokes on their ankles (done rigorously while drunk, marlene’s is a poorly drawn guitar and remus’ a wobbly record), and in the summer of 1976 remus brought her to muggle london to get cigarettes to resell at school (i have a couple of drawings about this actually)

her favourite band was the runaways: she could sing the entirety of “dead end justice”, and remus started calling her cherry because of the song “cherry bomb”.

very chill about everything. she actually encouraged people to experiment with expressing themselves, (“do you think wearing make up is for queers?” “david bowie wears make up, sirius. it’s fucking rock n roll”) and she was be a good listener. might encourage chaos tho, always eager to get in fights.

another quidditch nerd. she didn’t enjoy getting up at 5 am for practice, but that’s what you get when james fucking potter is captain. loved discussing strategies tho.

never really thought about being a lesbian. she just was, never felt the pressure of getting in a relationship with a boy.

rivalry with dorcas, both on the pitch and in class. dorcas took it very seriously, marlene saw it as a sort of game between the two of them.

marylily

friends to lovers. but not the sweet, “realised-i-love-you-more-than-a-friend” kind of dynamic: both lily and mary were very jealous, when they still weren’t aware of their feelings. lily never liked mary’s boyfriends, and mary seemed to dislike snape even more than marlene. snark remarks and eye-rolls. the good shi.

marlene connected the dots before mary and lily. she wanted to slap both of them for being stupid and blind, but at least she understood the tension.

when they were younger, mary would help lily being less shy: they were both muggleborns, but mary had never been intimidated by snobby purebloods, and lily admired her for it. because she was a girl and a muggle born, she was an easy target for purebloods who made fun of her being “the teachers pet”. (“lily it doesn’t matter who their parents are, you’re much better than them, so even if they call you names, don’t apologise for being smart!”)

lily fell first but sure as hell she didn’t realise it. mary, however, didn’t find out she liked her until they both confessed their feelings during an argument in their room (marlene proceeded to flee to give them some privacy)

the first girl mary ever kissed was emmeline, when she was still trying to figure out wether she liked women or not. lily was fuming when she found out.

[corinnesamuels]

Guarding the Gates, Chapter 9: Discretion is Such a Valuable Tool

Shoutout to the AMAZING @the-dream-team for creating this for me! Gives the fic a lil razzle dazzle, don’t you think?

A good old patronus soul mate trope to get the blood flowing, Remus has a hard time, and Lily and Sirius confront old friends.

In the weeks following James and Miranda’s breakup, there had been speculation amongst the gang about what that meant for Lily and James. For the two people in question, however, there was no indication that anything would be changing. They laughed at the same jokes, and the time they spent in person still had the same cadence. They were  friends , and the two of them reinforced that dynamic whenever asked. Secretly— irritatingly —Lily reinforced it with herself every time she saw that lopsided grin, which seemed to be making more and more of an appearance lately. 

It was as if the breakup had broken a dam inside of him, and now he joked more and laughed with less reservation. The glint in his eye that appeared when he was contemplating mischief had reappeared. Every day he became more and more like the version of him she’d once known. Sirius had made similar observations, saying how great it was to have his friend back at full force. 

Lily had loved getting reacquainted with James when she returned to England, but to see those parts of his personality return warmed her from the inside. He seemed happier, more free. Lily loved the way it looked on him. Except for when she didn’t. This more robust version of an adult James was a lot for Lily to take in. His personality was simply overwhelming some days, not because he was being obnoxious, but because it was almost impossible not to be drawn to him. It threatened to disrupt the precarious balance that her emotions currently maintained. Lily couldn’t risk disrupting that balance, so she made it a point to carry on the same life she had been living, and her occasional recreational dalliances helped a great deal.

Except for when they didn’t. Like today, when Lily realized that she’s going to have to let go of Terry.

It’s a shame, really. He’s a nice bloke and gets the job done well enough. But Lily has noticed that he seems to be straying from their original arrangement. He usually either left first thing in the morning after their liaisons or stayed just long enough to make and wolf down a quick breakfast. Lily had appreciated it because, as her friends love to point out, she’s terrible at cooking.

But lately, he’s attempted, thrice now, to stay into the afternoon. While Lily doesn’t want to be rude or harsh, this just isn’t what they signed up for. Especially not on a day when she is already running a little late to an Order meeting. He jokingly asks why she seems like she’s in a rush and hints at not believing that she really had somewhere to be. 

It takes everything she has to remain calm.

“Nothing about our arrangement requires me to share my daily schedule.” She’d said at close to noon that day as she hastily put on her shoes. She waved her wand toward his belongings, and they began hurtling at him faster than she’d intended due to her irritation, but he’d gotten the hint after that. 

When she arrives at the meeting a few minutes late, she waves off Marlene and Dorcas’ concerns with a “don’t ask” and a resigned rise and fall of her hand before jumping into the agenda.

The Order of the Phoenix functions well. Dumbledore has instituted a complex but subtle system for meeting locations, dates, and times and spends early meetings going over spells and skills that might be useful for the days ahead. Dumbledore picked most of them because they had excelled during their time at Hogwarts, but certain forms of magic were usually beyond what even the brightest seventh years managed before their time at school ended.

And so, they found themselves assessing the talents of the group and ways to maximize them. It was a well-known fact that The Marauders were good at stealth due to their ability to cause mischief as students. So Dumbledore tasked them and the Aurors of the group with assisting the rest in learning advanced magic related to stealth and concealment. “You lot must not have been too good at being stealthy if you got caught so often.” Dorcas quips during one meeting. The four men looked at each other and grinned. 

“Meadowes,” Sirius tuts. “We very rarely got caught on accident, love.”

“You can’t be legendary if no one knows your story.” James chimes in with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Sometimes you have to let yourself get caught for the greater good.”

“The most legendary thing about the two of you is your detention records.” Marlene smirks, looking over to Lily before rolling her eyes. 

“Was that supposed to contradict what I said?” James asks with a laugh. Remus does his best to cover up a laugh of his own.

Lily, Marlene, Caradoc Dearborn, and Elphias Doge led the group in potions making. In addition to maximizing stores for members to have available to them, Dumbledore also had them work on potions whose brewing processes made Lily feel as if she’d run a marathon once completed.

Little by little, Lily began learning the strengths of various members of the Order of the Phoenix. Most everyone in the group was an accomplished dueler, particularly the Prewett twins and Edgar Bones. People like Hestia Jones, Sturgis Podmore, and Emmeline Vance were able to navigate Ministry circles to subtly gather information that employees were too afraid to say around Mad-Eye Moody, Frank, and Alice. But nothing surprised Lily more than discovering that the slovenly thief Mundungus Fletcher was a member of the group  because  of the fact that he was a thief.

“Dung was dead helpful while we were in school.” Peter says in Mundungus’ defense after one meeting. Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas let their eyes travel from Peter to his friends with raised eyebrows, waiting for confirmation.

“Let’s not go into the details, Peter. They aren’t necessary at this juncture.” Sirius cuts in. When Lily’s face still holds traces of mild judgment, Sirius rolls his eyes. “Oh, don’t look like that, Red, you were a spy. Surely you saw worse than a thief.”

Lily had, of course, seen much worse. “Yes. Usually, the kind that were sober while on the job.” 

“It’s helpful to have someone in a group who can acquire…things of questionable origin.” Remus says diplomatically. “Especially information.”

“Yeah, it makes sense for Sturgis, Hestia, and Emmeline to do reconnaissance at the Ministry.” James replies. “But they can’t very well walk through Knockturn Alley and ask pointed questions without looking suspicious, can they?”

“How do we know that he’ll even remember what he learns from poking around in Knockturn?” Lily asks skeptically as she watches Mundungus falling asleep in his chair. “Surely you don’t think he’s going to go sober?” 

The gang takes a moment to observe Mundungus with her. It is a valid question they hadn’t considered.

“Pensieve, probably.” Sirius says finally. 

“Ah.” The others hum and nod in agreement before going back to their tasks.

In one particular meeting, Dumbledore decides to cover communication methods between members.

“I am sure you will find that we need ways to communicate with each other that owls and the Floo won’t be able to accommodate.” He says. “You may need to send a message quickly, and with the way Lord Voldemort’s ranks are growing, we may soon find the Floo Network being monitored surreptitiously. Muggles have a delightful invention called the ‘telephone.’ You pick up a receiver and can be in conversation with an old friend in mere seconds.”

Lily and Dorcas exchange grins, thinking of the summers they spent in the muggle world, on the phone with Mary, giggling like the schoolgirls they once were.

“It inspired me to create something similar,” Dumbledore continues, “and after perfecting it, I am ready to teach it to each of you. How many of you are familiar with the Patronus Charm?”

Various sounds of mild shock reverberate across the room as members of the Order exchange confused looks with each other. “Sir, I’m sure most of us have heard of it, but from my understanding, Patronuses don’t talk, do they?” Lily asks, voicing the confusion of the group.

“Not until recently.” Dumbledore replies. “As I said, I’ve perfected the method.”

A shocked James lets out a huff of air before catching Lily’s eye. She knows that his thoughts echo her own.  How in the fuck was Dumbledore so good at magic? Who would even think to take that charm and make it twice as useful and three times as difficult?  Lily shakes her head and lets out an exhale of her own, and he grins at her. 

It takes more effort than it should have for her to pull her eyes away from that grin.

“There are fully-trained Aurors who can’t even pull off a corporeal Patronus.” Frank says from the back of the room. “And you’re saying that you’ve amended it in some way?”

“I am.” Dumbledore says patiently, as if the people in front of him aren’t intimidated and shocked by the idea of performing this level of magic.

“Stop gawking and get a move on.” Moody growls from his section of the room. “Being afraid of a charm isn’t going to help you learn it.” He mumbles about the lack of gumption witches and wizards show nowadays.

At this, and with looks of slight trepidation over their shoulders toward Moody, the members of the Order of the Phoenix began working on casting the Patronus charm. Lily, who had always been adept at Charms, was able to produce a slight mist by the end of the session. Frank, Alice, and Moody could already produce non-corporeal Patronuses and worked on getting them to take shape before they left to return to the Ministry.

“Duty calls.” Alice says with a wave as they leave. 

Lily is still working on producing more mist when she sees James frustratedly struggling to produce even that. She smirks at him as she lets her mist float into his line of sight. “And to think you used to say you were better at Charms than I was.”

James cuts his eyes at her, irritated at not being able to gloat at the moment. “I used to say I was  just as good  as you at Charms, Evans. And I am.”

“We’ll see.” She says with a shrug before turning back to her Patronus. 

James rolls his eyes. “Professor Dumbledore, what transfiguration-related spells do you have for us?” 

“Grow up.” Lily retorts.

“Get a room.” Sirius grumbles with an eye roll of his own. Marlene laughs from her place next to him. 

“If they start acting like they did in sixth and seventh year, I’m going to bring up the idea of shoving them in a broom closet again.” Marlene says.

“And this time, we’ll actually do it.” Sirius replies dryly.

Lily’s words lit a fire in James that he hadn’t felt since playing Quidditch before his mother died. He always had thrived on competition. So after the Order meeting, he goes to three different bookstores and buys all the books he can find on the theory behind casting Patronuses. Sirius scoffs at this initially, but he, Remus, and Peter soon end up joining James in the sitting room of the manor, pouring through books and pages. They hadn’t made this much of an attempt to learn something from a textbook since James, Sirius, and Peter became animagi. And while the others may just want to learn because Dumbledore requested it, James is not only determined to produce a corporeal Patronus, but to produce one before Lily does.

To his frustration, Lily just barely beats him. 

They had been reviewing the spell at the beginning of an Order meeting, and they’d both been producing dense mists, just starting to take shape before dissipating. James closes his eyes, calms his nerves, and takes a deep breath to regroup before attempting the spell again, but before he can focus on his happy thought, he hears her excitement across the room. Knowing that it could only signal one thing, he curses under his breath before turning to see the inevitable.

He curses again, audibly and disbelievingly this time, when he sees the Patronus ambling across the room. Four legs, hooves, ears upright. In his shock, he doesn’t realize the strange looks he’d gotten from the people standing closest to him.

“Are you alright, James?” Peter asks.

But James is back in time, recalling a passage he’d read in one of his books while feverishly trying to pin down the charm—the one he and Sirius had joked about before ultimately ignoring it and going back to working out the incantation. 

  There is a belief amongst wizards that similar Patronuses are shaped by deep feelings one may have for another. Indeed, many agree that witches and wizards with the same or similar Patronuses may even be soulmates.

  James doesn’t answer Peter as he watches Lily’s doe move about the room and returns to her. She looks at it fondly and drifts her fingers along its silvery glow before it bows and disappears. He notices that Lily still has that look about her that she’d had when she was introduced to new magic in school—reverence mixed with the pride of accomplishing something new. He can’t help but grin at her across the room, nodding his head in salute as she smiles back and shrugs one shoulder before hugging Dorcas happily. It reminds James of all those days he used to watch her in classes…when they’d joke during their rounds…how she’d hugged him and smiled in a way that lit up the room after Gryffindor had won the quidditch cup during their last year…

He’d known it would work this time before he even recited the incantation. “Expecto Patronum!"

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