#was the same one that allowed them to leave lol THEY DONT KNOW ANY BETTER! YOU DO!

[loserelf]

every Single time. without fail. without FAILLLL every Single individual tragic cat story that shows up on tiktok. Every time it always always always ends up being because they are outdoor cats. People sobbing absolutely shattered and heartbroken that they lost their best friend. One girl found blood on the road and it turned out her cat had been hit by a car and dragged down the street bc the blpod was EVERYWHERE. Another girls cat fell ogf her fucking roof and found him dead. Just now I watched someone using syringes to feed a miserable cat through a feeding tube in its neck because someone hit it with their car, didnt stop, and the fucking cat dragged itself home with a lower and upper jaw fracture so bad it couldnt be fixed. That same cat almost had heart failure from the stress of that alone 2 days after getting what remained of its shattered teeth removed.

I've seen videos of shelters with cats missing half their face because people will catch them and literally torture them for fun. Keep. Your fucking cats. Indoors. GOD

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

The Signs & Romance.

Hey, so I've decided to share some views/thoughts I had on each sign placement whether it was sun,moon or venus. Please share your thoughts about the signs and their views on love! I'm open for the discussion. But yeah. I hope yall enjoy!

Cancer Suns romantic nature can express itself with leo partners easily. Believe it or not. It is because both tend to want the most out of passionate affairs and leo shows the playful side while cancers show the mystic, hidden side of romance. I believe these two to be really good at making love to each other as one is a representation of the sun (leo) and the other the moon. Also, cancer suns can get along with any leo placement, doesnt matter which one. They balance each other out very well.

Scorpio placements need water placements (other scorpios in particular) in order to truly be understood. It is because these placements are a mirror in their romantic life, for better or for worse. And they need someone who understands their darkness, let alone their karma.

Scorpio placements such as Venus, need a special romance with someone. Even if they though sleep around, there will always be someone out there for them, who shares the same amount of passion and intensity they crave. Not everyone will see this character, it is saved for only one person. And sometimes its just in their mind.

Pisces Venus need to write a book on the love affairs they have in their minds lol. Similar to the scorpio venus, they have room for only one love affair that could stand the test of time. This isn't 'real' persay, but romance with them isn't practical and they need others who can fit into their world, because the imagination is what will run far in their love life. If you can keep them from being bored, then you will have them for ages.

Cancer placements & scorpio placements are the tantra lovers. Their love can be so deep and profound, it will leave a mark on anyone they have that strong compatibility with.

Gemini placements making a square to your sun sign or venus can show a deep appreciation and charismatic nature on their part, believe it or not. They NEED tension or else it will be too smooth, too flowy. And before you ask, doesn't everybody want that? Why, yes.. But geminis are typically like this on their day to day anyways. That's just in their nature. They need something challenging to spark their interests. Ironically, they will love you a lot more if you beat them to the punch. ;)

Virgos & Scorpios can make for a gifted experience together. This is because these two placements form a natural sextile together. They know each others tics, and how to appreciate the flow of their being. Virgos will allow the scorpio their alone time and be the calm auras that they need when their facing certain phases of darkness. Scorpios will be the penetrating touch that the virgo needs when they're feeling. a little anxious. Both come together like the two serpents that they are and form a connection that is raw, powerful and unique.

Aries placements need lovers who are CONFIDENT. And if you're not this will not work out well. This is why they're great with leo and sag placements, and can do very well with scorpios. A little secret is that if your not confident in bed, you're not going to do well with them... And they'll run you like a train if you're not able to stand ten toes to them, let alone when they want to tear open your insides.

Libra suns & moons have the gifted ability to make anyone feel wanted and loved when their in their horizons. So much so, that their transparent nature can show up in their love for the individual of their choosing and bring them into a world they will never forget. If they have scorpio in their chart this could be a 1 of 1. They are choosy lovers like their virgo companions.

Taurus Suns, Moons & Venus need a lifetime partner. They just dont want anyone. Their sex game is crazy. They are the venusians and their true purpose in life is pleasure. Get you one of them lol. Tauruses need love that makes them forget their past. That calls them into a vacation that doesnt ask for them to leave the country. They need someone who is stable, fine, remarkable and has their self in control. Because taurus is always in control, and they need someone to take the steering wheel from time to time... if you know what I mean ;)

[ggeveryone99]

Mutxip’s Begining: Part 6

hA/N:Well howdy, very sorry for such a logn period between chapters. prolly going to be the same but the next part(s) that I have ideas for are kinda intricit so it’ll take a bit, but enjoy this little snipbit lol. (Also i am so sorry to the people whos tags didn’t work, I dont know what happened)

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The only thing Jake could effectively make out is her glowing yellow eyes, always unchanging and never moving from her target (Which most of the time is him). He smiles at her curiosity, her natural camouflage hiding any true vision from him of her. Her footsteps are practiced but clumsy from her young age. Her feet lit up whenever she shifts her position. He watches her study him, and he can't help but smile fondly at her curiosity. 

She studies the man that has been coming here every night, and her tail swishes behind her showcasing her curiosity about his approach. 

His natural stripes and dark blue complexion allowed him to be camouflaged in the night to regular eyes, but her honed eyesight allowed her to see him clearly. The moss on the ground glowed where he sat, creating a halo around his legs. Every time his tail brushed back and forth gently on the ground, it was like a comet tail following his movements. His large body almost gave the moss shadow, his hair slightly covering his face and darkening his expression. But what confused her the most was the thick strands of hair coming out of his head. She subconsciously reached to touch her own dark hair, feeling the matted, stringy strands. Strange, her hair isn’t like his; why is it different. She also noted his hands, laid on his knees, and spread out, but there are extra pieces on him. One hand clenches shut, feeling all the appendages. She will have to get close to get a better look at the strange man. 

Slowly she moves from her crouched position to get a better look at him. Leaning her body this way and that to see if she could get a better angle on him. 

Eventually, her curiosity takes over, and she slowly approaches Jake, circling his body and inspecting him and their differences. Jake, on the other hand, was afraid to even breathe. Not even a twitch in his muscles was allowed in case her skittish nature returned. This is the closest he has been to her; he wants it to count and last. And now that he can see her closer, he is allowed to take in her scrabby clothes and matted hair. Take in the amount of dirt on her body and the scratch marks on her arms and legs. The urge to take her into his arms and hold her almost takes over. The urge to hide her away from the world, to be able to protect her from the harsh environment she currently lives in. She has no idea she has an entire clan waiting to welcome her with open arms and celebrations. For her to be loved and protected by those around her. All they wait for is her. Neytiri has already been scrounging for items to put onto the little girl's songcord, ready to welcome another daughter home.   

Cautiously she creeps closer to him, clutching the bracelet given to her. His ears pointed her way, tail twitching with excitement. With a tentative hand, she grabs one of the ‘strands’ of hair. Jake’s’ breath stills at the feel of her hand, but he doesn’t react. He doesn’t move an inch for fear of scaring her to leave and not come back. 

As time continued, she got more and more confident. Moves his hair this way and that, grunting and squealing softly when she sees something new. Inspecting his scalp and touching his queue very gently because she knows how sensitive hers is, so it must be the same for him. She then moved from his hair to his ears, giggling when they flicked around when she touched them. Once she finishes poking and prodding his ear, she takes a hold of his hand and brings it up to her face, surprise filling her childish features.  She tilts her head seeing the extra fingers on his hand confusedly. Jake smiles to himself and allows her to inspect the most obvious difference between them. She brings her hand up and compares the two, confused about their differences. She meets his eyes and juts his hand closer to his face. 

“Hand.” She states, shaking his hand a little to show the urgency. He nods, 

“They are different.” He tells her, her brow muscles tense together in obvious confusion. 

“Why?” A very simple question but a not-so-easy answer, so he tries his best. But he is happy she can understand him. So, as gently as possible, he closes his hand around her hand. “You see the lights?” He points up, and she cranes to look at the sky before nodding. “The shiny’s.” She answers with childlike wonder, always contemplating why they are so far away. 

Jake chuckles, “Yes, the shiny’s. I am different because I am from one of them.” She gasps and snaps her head towards him, gripping his arm with her other hand. She seems like she can barely contain her surprise and excitement. With utter awe in her eyes, she pokes his chest with a finger, “From Eywa.”

It is now his turn to be surprised. He hadn’t thought of it like that in a long time. Slowly, his face turns to a smile, and he nods. “Sure, from Eywa.” He confirms.

 She looks down when she feels his tail gently brush against her leg and decides to investigate. It moves from her grasp when she tries to grab it, and she squeals in delight. For maybe a minute, she chased after his tail while he swished it back and forth, almost taunting her. 

She hisses, then jumps onto his tail, making him laugh. She chases his tail, a common game played with her mother whenever she is feeling feisty before bed. Suddenly she stops, remembering the fruit she brought, and dashes across the small clearing and into the brush leaving Jake confused and startled. But he isn't allowed to feel like that for long as she runs back into the clearing with something wrapped in a leaf held in her mouth, and she runs back as fast as possible on all fours. Jake is slightly taken aback, but he quickly schools himself and watches her with a smile. Watched her skid to a stop and crouch right in front of him to unravel the leaves with a smile. She removes the same fruits as last time before shoving one into his face. 

“Eat,” she demands

He grabs the fruit and methodically peels it while trying to watch the little girl simultaneously. She pays him no mind and stands to eat the fruit without peeling the skin. Absentmindedly leaning on his arm with one hand and eating with the other. He notices that even though she is standing, she is still the same height as him when he sits. He feels a warmth surround him as he watches the girl eat her food messily and look at her surroundings. He feels a crawling urge to protect her. To bring her back, no matter her anger, and keep her safe where she should be. With a real family- he stops his thought. The long run is what he is playing. He already knows his end goal. Neytiri has threatened to come herself if he doesn't try quicker methods. He melts at the thought of his wife. She so desperately wants to come help this little girl in front of him and give her a mother's warmth and love. But Jake knows he has to be slow or else drastic change in her will happen, and nothing for the good. He would never force her to come with him. 

He looks back at the girl to find her staring at him unblinking, pupils blown, and tail swaying with a sense of urgency. Slowly she reaches out to him, and he braces for her to play with his hair again, but instead, he sees her gently urge an atokirina from off his head that he didn’t even realize was there. She slowly brings it to her face and closes her eyes in contentment at the feeling of the pure spirit against her cheek. Jake then watches as another flows down and tickles her ears, making her giggle before cupping that one too. He watches the exchange happen, awestruck at the sign Eywa has given him. It is almost time. 

He watches her sit on the mossy land, resting her back against his leg to allow her full attention toward the two. He freezes, not wanting the moment to end. He was finally at peace for a little bit. Watching her play with the two atokirina, they stayed like that for a while. Her head now rests on his leg, and she is becoming increasingly tired. Eventually, falling asleep, and the two atokirina caress her cheeks one last time before floating away. He watches them dance across the sky before disappearing into the trees. Redirecting his gaze back at the little girl, he smiles softly, feeling the urge to caress her hair, but he holds back. Content with the fact she felt safe enough to fall asleep on him. 

They stayed like that for a while before Jake realizes how late it is, creeping closer to morning as time passes. But there is no way he can leave her here, alone and in the cold with no protection. He would never leave this little girl alone like this. So he waits, keeping watch of his surroundings while highly aware of the weight against his leg. He would snap his eyes towards her every twitch she makes, every time she moved or mumbled. Worry makes his heart clench when he spins his head towards her before having to calm his heart. 

It wasn’t till a later that he heard the slightest movement in the foliage behind him. He doesn’t move, keeping his head forward, but he quietly sniffs the air, and his ears twitch to try and get a better angle toward the noise. Before he could covertly grab his knife, he feels a hot gust of wind against his neck that makes his hair stand on end. A low growl emanates from the creature as it rounds him and the little girl. Protective instincts take over as he swiftly angles his body to cover hers. Baring teeth and growling low to give warning, he cuts himself off at the dark figure stalking them. 

He is face-to-face with familiar cat-like features and iridescent eyes. She doesn't attack, but watches with rapt attention, imperceptibly showing aggression. 

Quickly Jake puts two and two together and realizes the thanator is the same one as before. The one who rode off with the little girl on her back. The mother is covered in scars and battle wounds. Numerous bullet wounds surrounded her chest and legs.

 Jake takes a low breath at the familiar beast and reluctantly bows his head. Strangely the palulukan bows her head in return. They stare at each other for a while before the little girl whines in her sleep, catching the attention of both the Oloeyktan and the palulukan. Jake sighs in discontent, seeing he has to let the mother take back her child. Slowly he moves his hand under her head and the other under her knees to pick her up gently. If she is anything like his boys, she would be sleeping like the dead. Cautiously he approaches the palulukan, and she willingly crouches down to let him put the child on her back. Once situated, Jake steps back and looks out at the girl longingly, toy clutched in her hand and bracelet now around her own wrist. The palulukan gives Jake one last look before returning to the jungle's depths. Jake stands there for a while, watching them walk away, feeling disconcertion before resigning himself and returning home, picking up the leftover fruits as he leaves.

My lovely tag list T^T

@heart-an0n  @sparks0918  @wheezy223  @jackierose902109  @ms5m1th

@keylimepxe  @jaymum

@brisbriskett

[lacunasbalustrade]

what are your general thoughts on queer(gay n trans n all) people? like you dont seem to be against gay ppl from what i can see but i also see that you've like never really openly said something pro or against trans ppl. sorry if its out of the blue im just curious esp seeing your pov as a religious person who has trans mutuals/follows n all bcuz i (unfortunately) know plenty of christians that know trans people but only tolerate them instead of accepting them (which usually means they misgender/deadname them)

hi! I'm happy to answer your question - it's a bit controversial, though, and a sensitive topic for everyone, so I do ask for your understanding if anything I say happens to offend you.

as a Christian, I believe in the stance the Bible puts forth: that BEING gay is not a life choice, it's an inclination that came forth due to the presence of sin in the world. the continuation, however, of this choice, is a sin.

To quote so no one thinks I'm speaking out of some random, bibically incorrect bigotry, Romans 1: 24 NIV "Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another." ,Romans 1: 26 "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones." , Romans 1: 27 "In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error."

obviously my faith and beliefs should not be forced on unbelievers. I am not any holier than anyone else because I am straight. I am every bit as sinful because it's impossible to avoid committing sin.

so if I'm going to sum it up, it's best said as: none of my business because Who Am I to tell you how to live, right? you're my friends and 'preaching' isn't actually loving. the best form of loving others as a Christian is to accept them as a person before judging based on whatever life choices they've made or pronouns they call themselves. which brings me into the next part!

theologically, I have to admit I'M NOT VERY SURE about trans people. I genuinely cannot find many sources of literature on the topic. There are intersex people, there are people with gender dysphoria. The Bible doesn't talk much about those, enough to give any real objections anyway. To talk about my beliefs based off the context, if God made you as you are, you shouldn't be trying to change you...is the logic, but again, no reason to force biblical beliefs on unbelievers.

I do disapprove of the extent to which some trans people have taken this schtick. I've seen posts saying 'oh if kids can play soccer and do ballet which messes them up for life, they can also do trans surgeries!' I'm sorry. That just doesn't make sense. WHY would anyone want kids to have permission to do Very Risky Things when they are small enough to not know better or make informed choices? And I also know many posts say that 'common sense', kids aren't gonna do those things till they're old enough to feel like they need to do them....those posters need to remember the last time they regretted doing something as a child. Common sense can't be relied upon in my experience.

Plus, given the kidnapping laws in the U.S which basically allow children to be taken away from their parents if their parents disapprove...lol yeah now make a law where my child can be taken away from me if I'm not in the same fandom as them. It can be hurtful to receive dissent on your life choices, but that don't mean up and leaving is the solution, unless the living situation is physically dangerous in some way or you are an actual adult. Children are not trustworthy indicators of whether or not a parent is problematic. And I'm saying this having had problematic parents myself - sometimes we are part of the problem. And if it's difficult, you should still try not to give up on them.

This might be the most important part: I'm wondering whether the gender stereotypes placed on girls and boys are the markers trans people want to overcome. Because from what I've researched, there are two different camps. 1: people who admit that they are biologically whatever sex they were born, and just enjoy dressing like and passing for the other sex because it makes them more comfortable. 2: people who actually believe they are the other sex because they feel that way and they are only effectively realizing that change to their 'authentic' self by transitioning.

I don't believe in gender stereotyping. Like, girls wear skirts boys wear pants. Boys can't wear pink etc etc. So the concept of a trans woman thinking they are a woman because they enjoy the markers attached to being a woman, like, for example, having long hair and wearing skirts, makes me really uncomfortable. Because that's not the whole experience of being a woman. It's only a small part of it, and it's not universal at all. And while no one can claim that ALL woman have experienced a certain set of conditions that make them woman...the only standard for BEING a woman, in my book, is to be a biological one, because it's the only defining trait. When people think of girls, I don't want them to automatically think of girls with skirts and wearing pink. I want them to acknowledge that all girls are different, and the only thing that makes them girls is the gender marker, not their conformance to 'gender norms' that have arisen from societal conditioning.

The idea that someone's feelings can be 'authentically accurate' makes me feel even more....nah. Feelings are valid but if I trusted mine all the time, I'd definitely be all over the place.

To sum it up: no problems with the trans behavior because I'm not into forcing biblical perspectives on y'all. But I definitely have a problem with the idealogy and the legislature.

dead name, misgendering wise...I believe people should be called whatever they want to be called unless it makes the other person uncomfortable. In which case the other person should just stop interacting with them since they're so uncomfortable. (E.g you want me to call you Baby Chicken. For some reason I have a problem with it. Maybe I have a strong fear of chickens.)

Basically I respect your life choices. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk haha.

[melissa-titanium]

dd hc organizerrrr

THIS IS A VERY LONG POST LOL .

biggest basis for their makeup is essentially. birds and cats, with a little bit of wolf wedged in. they're somewhere inbetween solitary and pack predator, not quite social enough to actively search for bigger groups to hunt with BUT not solitude enough to hunt solo. three or four is the average for squads, two being the absolute minimum. to be seperated from your squadmates is a highly traumatic and stressful experience regardless of your opinion on the squadmate you lose. the feeling can be softened by replacing the squadmate. (eg; what happened with j and uzi. the alphabet gang's squad was a three-drone squad, and with j's death, uzi 'replaced' her in n and v's coding. not the same for j, though, because that means she was booted from the squad and it really hurt!!!)

dds are predators that tend to try and stay out of plain sight if need be, but they're already strong and fast enough to catch and kill wds without any struggle. BUT, if they were facing something they needed to surprise for whatever reason, they'd hide themselves rather than try and stay quiet. dds are already naturally nearly-silent (as shown in how n beats the shit out of uzi completely silently in pilot AND the way he basically DISAPPEARS when he sneaks into the vents during gin rummy) so they have no need to try and be more quiet, BUT the issue with their design is that they are. very, very flashy. they have warning patterns plastered ALL across their bodies and are basically glowsticks, and once they're in sight, you know where they are regardless of how dark it is. tl;dr: they rely on their silence to surprise prey.

i did a huge fucking chart on n's height a while back but i literally dont think i could find it. i think, canonically, dds are like... 5'0 exactly? but imo i think they're more around 6'6. there is minor variation in wd-frame dds, so height can differ from dd to dd.

i think dds are split into two different types, those being standalone and wd-frame.

standalone are dds through and through, retaining no worker drone memories because they HAVE no worker drone memories; they were built by the solver solely for the purpose of being a dd, therefore they never were a wd.

wd-frame are dds that have been built over an existing wd (n, v, and j for example.) they can on occasion retain memories (like v, depending on whether the solver wanted them to or not,) and usually retain the 'growth???' code of worker drones, allowing them to grow and change in response to their organic insides.

a better comparison would be; first gen worker drones to second gen worker drones. first gen drones (alice, khan, yeva, nori, etc) are all built off of one frame, leaving very little variation in bodyshape outside of built-purpose (eg; i think nori and khan were built for heavy-lifting and such, meaning they're shorter and heftier, while drones like yeva and alice were built for personal use, which makes them look more. human-like. i don't klnow does that make sense>>>??)

physical traits;

they have black teeth, stained with oil.

their true eyes can be individually taken off, as can the headband (the headband acts like the cap of a lightbulb.)

standalone dds (dds not built ontop of a worker drone frame, there are no canon examples of this) do NOT have whiskers. wd-frame dds (n, v, and j,) have whiskers.

... just like wds, dd hair is just a ton of whiskers bunched up into a hairstyle. does this mean standalone dds are bald? yeah, probably.

dd tails are segmented and interlocked by bendable joints (FLESH joints, dds are half-organic after all) that can extend and flex comfortably to reach further targets. the joints click and bend with each movement.

this was a trait in my old iterations of dd designs so idk if ill keep it, but, dds have heat-regulation spines poking out of their seams. they resemble the centipede-esque limbs on materials collection holo-spooky-snake-crabs.

their wingblades are shaped like fish-hooks, meant to latch onto prey and reel them in.

in addition to this, the wings whistle VERY loudly when flying. they have gravity propulsion (?) devices under their wings arm (not forearm) that make it so they don't actually have to flap their wings (like they fucking COULD?? look at those things dude) but the wingblades themselves are also used as means of steering. the air/gravity around them can be more easily manipulated with the wingblades because each blade has individual muscle control.

HUGE barrel chests. they're used to protect the core. they're split into two parts, a very hard steel-material (that also goes to the shoulders) and a bullet-proof black glass that allows you to see the corelight. and, yes, i know, they look like boobs but i'm nice and love feminism so it's only accentuated on n's chest. yes, his boobs are naked.

drones in general have a zip lining their abdomen, but the rubber material on disassembly drones is much lighter and malleable, allowing dds more flexibility than wds, but also less protection for their insides (which makes sense, because why would they need to protect their insides when they can just regenerate anything that broke? the rubber itself holds the stomach and other organs, but can be unzipped for maintenance.

there are four "sections" of a dd's tail. for organization purposes, i'll call them a, b, c, and d. section a is the joints of the tail itself, which can extend and flex. the tail sections and joints are considered one section. section a filters nanite acid along the dd's spinal cord down into section b section b transfers the filtered nanite acid from section a into the acid tank/storage section c transfers the acid from the tank into section d, and acts as the sheathe for section d section d is the syringe, which can extend in and out of section c

like dd's eyes, their ears are interchangable/customizable. UNLIKE dd's eyes, the ears are actually meant to be customized. the external ears themselves aren't particularly useful, and are dds only means of personalization.

i can;t think of anything else to add here rn UHHH

[fantasy-fields-danger-zone]

Hazbin Hotel bitty: Normal Alastor bitty

Normal Alastor bitty

Name: Alastor

Size: 7 - 8 inches tall(6-8 feet tall sized shifted)

Personality: Calculating, semi easily entertained, sassy,

Likes: Cat/cat like bitties, venison, meat in general, jambalaya, cooking, radios, cooking and crime(true or otherwise) shows/podcasts/radio shows,

Dislikes: Dogs/dog like bitties, not being in control, modern tech, Val bitties,

Compatibility: They always try to make a deal with their owners pretty fast, if not directly after they're adopted! They dont like feeling like they have no power, but do NOT make a deal with them until you know you can trust them fully! It's an awful idea to give an Alastor bitty power over you before you trust them-

They hate tvs! until they find out about cooking and/or crime shows- we recommend cooking shows- its better to give them ideas for the kitchen and not for the graves lol

They do NOT get along well with other Alastor types, they can manage being around certain Vox types, though it's best to keep them as separated as often to avoid to many issues if you do choose to have them in the same house, they do do better with soft or angel varients of Vox bitties though! Though as long as they dont fight for power they tend to be able to manage any bitty! But it is still best to get the Alastor bitty first and let them settle in and get comfortable before trying to introduce another bitty they may butt heads with

At the center they tend to try to make deals with many bitties, Nifty and Husker bitties are usually the ones they drag with them as they refuse to leave any bitties they made a deal with, though they have been found making deals with every bitty type from an Adam to a Vox to plenty of non-Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss bitties!

After they trust and grow fond of their owner they will become nothing but a gentleman to them! Though it will make them want to make a deal with them more if they havent already because they want to be the man of the house!(no they dont care if their owner is also a man)

They have a preference for being around women as they tend to find men 'brutish', though luckily the soul bond means you dont have to worry about not getting along with them! On the other hand they dont like being in a house with no women and they tend to get along faster with fem presenting bitties,

They can summon their radios and mics, though they can only have one mic at a time, and they only let those they trust the most touch it, so if you are allowed to touch their mic without them biting, stabbing, or hurting you in general, then congrats! they trust you! we do not recommend using this as a way to test if they trust you.

They hate being touched without consent, especially by people they dont know, god forbid if they dont like them-

Although most Alastor types can also teleport, this isn't a reliable form of transportation due to the energy it takes,

Alastors are finicky and picky when it comes to most modern things, but will adjust if they absolutely have to

Alastor bitties have a hard time getting attached to anyone or anything, going into full denial mode if they ever catch themselves doing so, so if you ever cant find your Alastor bitty, they're probably hiding away, while this isnt always the reason they'll hide it very well could be! As they will try to convince themselves that the attachment they are forming isnt worth it in some way or try to convince themselves that they can use it to get to whoever they are becoming attached to,

Alastors hate hate hate not being in control at any given moment, they always feel the need to be one step ahead of everyone, even if they don't actually have anything against him he won't believe that probably-

While they are commonly on the aro/ace spectrum, i'd like to remind you that they are bitties and not all of them will be aro/ace or sex repulsed(though they will not like it being spoken about openly, dont be crude!)

They're very compatable with Rosie bitties! They get along amazingly with their gal pals!

While he'd be protective as anything he saw as 'his', including 'friends', though he'd never call them friends, he'd call him his, tough rarely they will call someone his friend

Though you'll never know if he really does see them more as friends(unless actually called his friend) or if he does see them more like property, it's always hard to tell with them, though if it ever gets to the point he'd put himself in danger to protect someone he'd be panicked at the thought and be sent reeling from the fact he cares,

So they find it hard to make actual friends, though it's not impossible as Rosie bitties are proof of that!

He's kinda openminded, he doesnt care if you're gay or trans but he's not gonna see a trans man as the same as a cis man which kinda helps trans men, though that doesnt mean he doesnt see a trans man as a man, he just sees them as a 'better man', though he does see trans women on a similar level as cis women, he's from the 30s you get what you get with these lil deer men lol

They have a fondness for jazz and swing music, the 'latest' music he'll listen to is yet more jazz or electro swing,

They hate domestic abuse, child abuse, animal abuse, and any other kind of abuse- even if they're compatible with their owners if their owners are ok with those sorts of things all bets are off, they arent afraid to nearly die via killing their soul bond, though they will also fight someone on the streets if they suspect them of any kind of abuse, which can easily get bloody,

They can be ok around kids, they'd never hurt them, but once they're over it they're over it and will be finding someone else(luckily at least someone trustworthy enough) to watch the kid/s, it's not that he thinks he's better than them, he just gets annoyed easily and would rather teleport away than be around a screaming kid-

Alastors are also suuuuper condescending, sometimes they don't mean to be it's just their natural state lol,

Alastors will tolerate almost anything as long as it's entertaining to them, As in- watching over a child even if he isn't particularly interested in it because the child has a tendency of doing the stupidest things And he finds it funny Or even dealing with Vox types, not 24/7 though its a lot easier for him to find being around a Vox bitty entertaining if theres no Val or vel bitties around

Alastors also dislike the kind of talk Angel Dusts typically do That topic of conversation is an ick for them Some Alastor's are better than others but it's best not to push your luck Like, he'll put up with it sometimes but if its a constant(aka he cant avoid it at all) then he hates it

However Alastor's also tend to think making people upset or hurting others is very entertaining so be sure to keep your Alastor entertained in other ways so they don't resort to this adopting something entertaining to him(like a wobbly cat or wobbly bitty) can help lmfao, or any bitty/pet that does stupid things in general honestly,

Alastors with Husk's are also somewhat easier because they'll just badger Husker and he can't do shit about it lol, Same with if you have a Nifty around, they find her cute and entertaining They also tent to find Charlie bitties cute/entertaining but they rarely have deals with them, though that doesnt change much Having a Rosie around helps too but she comes with her own 'problems' lmao

if you can ever get your Alastor bitty to like a show, then that is literally the only time they wont break your damn tv when ur trying to watch it too lol,

You will need at least one or two radios in the house if you get an Alastor bitty(Luckily they do come with 4 radios in their care kits-) Or even podcasts might entertain him if you can't get a radio straight away things like true crime shows(or podcasts you can listen to o n a radio) are a fav for them lol Though be careful with that because it will give them ideas…. cooking shows entertain them too! it's the best you can do if you dont want them listening to aything that'd give them any unsavory ideas That is the only TV thing they will ever deign to watch If only to bitch about how they're not doing it right

they LOVE bad cooking shows so they can feel like they're teaching their owners/other bitties better gives them a good ego boost too,

Speaking of other bitties, you must be so so careful introducing your Alastor to new people Things can go bad so quickly Even bitties they are compatible with can become enemies if they're not introduced properly

it's best to introduce them somewhere the Alastor bitty doesnt consider theirs for starters and it's best to make sure the other bitty has a peace offering that the Alastor bitty would like and its best to make sure when the new bitty gets home that they know where not to go already, so they dont intrude on where the Alastor bitty doesnt want other bitties they dont consider theirs to be

they can already use shadow friends after 2 deals with other bitties so if they have a nifty and husker(or just 2 other bitties already) then u got a bit more mischief to worry about already lol

Also he will kill and eat bitties that piss him off if you don't have enough respect/'affection points' with him to where he wouldn't because you'd be upset

He doesnt get stage shy, he just like singing old songs/jazz songs(at the newest electro swing music) to himself, so you wont hear him sing suuper often(well, not loud enough where you can hear it well) it gotta have a jazz vibe,

any good mother dying would make him cry, so movies like Dumbo or Bambi get the waterworks going, though they hate crying but they like watching movies/shows with good mothers!

They'll fuck with tvs/other electronics like smart devices, lord forbid you have an alexa and a roomba- he'll only fuck with it long enough to make it where he can 'release the hounds' with it- and if he's not size shifted to be human sized he'll ride around the roomba- so there is that, but he'll fuck with it enough to use it as a way to get around-

Getting him something like an RC car would actually put you in his favor, with his magic he can control it like an actual car and drive around! It's actually one of the ways we 'entertain' them at the center lol, theres a bitty sized town we let them roam around in(and drive) at the center to keep them entertained(theres plenty of little areas like that at the center honestly, it's just not talked about a lot lmfao, so have a lil lore drop :])

Alastors need their own private space where even their owner won't(or can't due to being too big) come in without permission They will go batshit insane (more than usual) due to this and the fact most if not all of them want to get enough deals to be able to size shift(if not already human sized- since ima make the Bara ones like over 6 foot, tho i also like the idea of them all being small and having to work to get biiig) they want to have a whole room to themeselves, like yeah they get when they smol they cant use a lot of stuff they ask for(bed, closet, books, a radio, etc) but they have plans!!

Alastor bitties probably love cooking and baking and dislike frozen foods like, they wont fuckin eat frozen foods(unless its like frozen meat for storage or something like that)

Alastors are big planners But also simultaneously impulsive Somehow they will plan years in advance, but will do some fuckery for fun in the meantime, though, if you have made plans with your Alastor bitty, do not cancel. esp if its last minute, like, if you have an emergancy sure they can understand but if it's a 'i dont want to' YOU HAD MONTHS TO SAY YOU DIDNT WANT TO they can sometimes be a little bit of a hothead,

They also prefer being the 'top dog' of all the bitties in the house, it ties in with their wanting to always be in control. They can't be in control if there's someone more powerful than them! its another reason they want to make deals with their owners, buuut if you make him feel like he can at least teach you things, then he will put up with it,

In this same vein this is why they don't particularly get along with Lucifer bitties like, they can if they have been there awhile and the Luci bitty comes in later, since then the Lucifer bitty wont feel like they have to be in charge,

At first, do NOT try to put to many rules in place if they were house rules that everyone had to follow they'd be okay with it But yeah rules for no reason other than to limit Alastor? Nope, they will break every rule to spite you specifically

Having the Alastor for awhile(like to a point you can trust them enough to make a deal with them) is the best way to make it where they can be compatible with other bitties with exceptions but if you have an Alastor for awhile, especially if he can be trusted to have the ability to size shift(tho there are some that gain that ability despite their owner not trusting them) then the Alastor is comfortable and tends to take the role of the 'man of the house', regardless of if their owner is a man or not, Like, if he likes his owner enough he'll even cook for them!

Alastors are SO gentlemanly Like to his own detriment lol He will be less wary with girls and yk that's not exactly a good thing People are all different after all he's always kind to women to a fault, opening doors(even if it takes a lot of energy bc they cant size shift yet), cooking for them(once again even if he wears himself out) and doing house work(once again, even if it wears him out) it takes men longer to get to that point, but they literally have to be compatible to form a soul bond and you cant adopt a soul bond bitty without forming the bond!

Alastors may get perturbed if you don't have an escorts when you go out depending on their level of gentlemanliness Especially as they get bigger and can be your escort, good luck escaping him which usually, by that time he's 'chilled out' and is protective over you enough that the main thing you have to worry about is the fact he wont let people he doesnt like the vibes of near you and will try to do things for you(like if he doesnt like the vibes of the cashier he'll check out and let you go out to the car or somethin lol)

Luckily with their soul bonds they already see their owner as theirs, so they tend to prefer their owners over anyone else regardless of if they're fully comfortable with them, they already know they get along so they're more confident being around them, This also means regardless of gender they'll be as much of a gentleman to their owner as any random woman,

Feeding habits: They have, odd tastes, to say the least, they prefer raw meat, and prefer to kill whatever they're eating even more so, though if they like someone they will go through the effort of cooking, but they usually never give it to them directly unless they're comfortable doing so,

They are omnivorous with a preference for meat,

Additional info: They can size shift! but only after having enough deals made or after they make a deal with their owner, as well as the ability to use magic in general! The more deals the stronger their magic is,

They soul bond to their owners, so you'll always know if you're compatible with them as they come to you! A soul bond is a two way bond, while a deal is a one way bond(giving the bitty power over you, which is good if you trust them! not so much if you dont-)

Zone: Inside,

In Universe: They are seen as strange and taboo, but many do like them due to how much a gentleman they are,

Difficulty: Advanced - Expert

Features: Alastor from the show

(this is super ooc just so ya know but still! If you see anyone with an Alastor bitty that isnt aro/ace dont come for their fuckin kneecaps guys they're bitties they're made to be funnnnnn)

[kaminokilljoy]

using my tumblrblog to actually blog for once

I figured I would put down some thoughts about my art journey so far on here I have some things to say and where better than my suuuuper popular tumblr blog 😂? Just me screaming into the void and talking to myself as usual, just my experience, anyway some observations over the past like slightly less than two years of drawing people/ figures specifically, which I picked up around May or so in 2023 cuz that's around when it started to interest me (maybe the reason I didn't find it as fascinating earlier was because I didn't have as many people to draw? And I just liked drawing nature or whatever better I guess. But these days it's very fun for me) (loooong post LOL):

-a lot of "artist" youtubers are just straight up useless and although some people always tell new artists to watch the most famous art names a lot of them just peddle some art course or have same face syndrome or just dont really know what theyre doing in general.

-out of 2d and 3d reference images, 3d ones like real life figure drawing sessions, models, etc ended up being much more useful in the long run to learn like anatomy or whatever. I didn't bother with 3d anything at the start because I was told they would be harder to practice with, but I guess since I'd already been drawing a while and had some experience with realism for example it wasn't as hard on me as I was expecting. Also I feel like even if you're drawing in a 2d style there's still contour and depth to the drawing that you can't see, I feel like the 2d outline should have something invisible underneath it rather than just exist on its own as an entity I have no idea how to phrase that. I definitely struggled with proportions, lighting, whatever a lot more originally, but I guess the point I'm trying to make is that studying photographs of real people or observing them in real life was more helpful for me to get a sense of things rather than practicing with premade 2d pose references specifically. (I also feel like a lot of the 2d references available are ridiculously sexualized if they are women, but theres probably a workaround around that) Practicing with 3d references was hard but it was really useful. That being said 2d was also really helpful but just in a different way, I feel like maybe 2d is better to get a hang of different styles and 3d is better for technicality. If practicing with a 2d reference I would rather copy out of a manga or a comic with a style that I like rather than a pose, I'd rather leave poses to 3d references.

-the best thing that I should have done for myself earlier is to just relax really, and learn as I went. At the very beginning I had some kind of complex that I wasn't allowed to actually have fun with my art and I had to just grind,grind,grind and learn about anatomy or whatever but that did not really go anywhere useful. I just ended up like forcing myself to draw the same reference of this one like "female outline" or something like 20 or 40 times and I got so frustrated because there wasn't any improvement I started panicking and crying. I had some sort of idea enhanced by someone who was in my life at the time that I had to improve those things quickly and like of course if you've only been drawing for two weeks anatomy is gonna be difficult for you!!! But I didn't have faith in myself that I'd be able to improve, I was terrified that I'd just be stuck at that level forever if I didn't gorge myself on "studies" and that just led to a lot of frustration and an overall negative experience. But after a little bit when I started making vent art to process some things that were going on, or just overall other art that wasn't like anatomy practice art, it let me actually SEE myself in my art and I do think that over time I've improved. I put together a drawing from like September 2023 and the same drawing in maybe mid or late 2024, 9 or 10 months apart and I noticed better understanding of facial and body proportions as well as more fine attention to details like the curve of the hands. I still have a long way to go, but art is an endless journey and the main reason that I was doing something so burnout inducing is because I thought I'd never improve, but I ended up doing so after I started drawing from my heart instead as corny as that may sound. After I let myself actually just draw what I wanted I could find MORE ways to do studies, like study Gerard Way or Amy Lee, or split complementary color studies of the danger days characters. The best way for me to improve was to meld studies with what I wanted to draw. Art as a passion, just like any other hobby is for the self and although I had that idea already I just didn't know how to apply it to myself. Improvement and stagnancy in art are in my opinion sometimes applied as made-up concepts. some people will learn quicker than others, some people just want to paint different types of strawberries their whole lives and that's all literally fine.

-"criticism" is not always all that useful especially depending on who it's coming from. There's an idea of like "oh but if nobody ever tells you then you'll never improve!" and I don't think that's entirely true, especially if the person themselves who is imposing that onto you still has a lot to learn. At first I didn't really ask for any, but then I started falling into that cycle of like feeling incomplete without any criticism or like i'm missing something, but again, pretty unnecessary emotions to have and I ended up figuring out my own mistakes a few months down the road the more I practiced. Now that I think about it I had been drawing and redrawing the same like small "anime" face in my sketchbook once every few months even before I picked up figure drawing as a serious thing, and there WAS improvement, I think that my overall self esteem was just at an all time low (dear maria hahahhhahahhhahahaha I'm so funny). a second eye can be great, but I think it's more useful with more niche things like maybe learning to draw wings, or how far away the "camera" should be in a drawing, than just blatant technicality like "the legs are too long" or whatever. I feel like those things come with time.

-I think I'm finally starting to develop my own "style" when drawing people, I think I just really like drawing small lines in quick succession next to each other and cross-hatching, so I ended up kind of honing in on a style that I used in a drawing a while back (that I drew without an eraser just kinda went with the flow and did whatever) and that tends to be the manner in which I draw a lot of things, it's fun and it works for me so that's exciting.

-balancing art and other creative hobbies like music, crafts, maybe makeup, and just going on walks in general or hiking or whatever also helps me in a way I think because it allows me to think about things differently which subconsciously? inspires me to draw? also just the sky is beautiful as hell sometimes and I have many pictures of it that I intend to make studies of.

-sculptures can be so useful and fun to study. I'd like to go to an art museum and just draw studies of all the paintings and sculptures.

-My cycle of art creativity seems to be sinusoidal with a period of a lot of inspiration and then a period of not that much ,maybe I slowly work my way back into it or maybe I don't but the first period shows itself again. No matter how much time passes it remains like this.

-I need to start actually using my stickers instead of of saving them for no reason

-something I've never really drawn before is architecture but it's starting to interest me, also mecha, I mean I've found that interesting for a while just never drew it

-I think I'm starting to get more of a hang of how to break things down into shapes as well as like confidence(not drawing so darkly that you can't erase it, but still having smooth lines), I think hands are also getting somewhat easier to draw, need more perspective practice and practice from back view but perspective studies can be fun

In summary really the best thing that I learned is to just practice and have fun lol, just as I'd been doing before I started trying to draw people specifically, patience and continuing to put in effort has been the key just as for anything else, I'm excited to see where my art style will go and hopefully how I will improve in the future . my idea was to kinda update this as I spend more and more time as someone who likes drawing .

(●'◡'●)

[purplewolfie]

You’re right, it isn’t the same love. A romantic or friendship love doesn’t begin unconditional, it comes from speaking, spending time, acts of affection, mutual interests. It’s built over years with a foundation of trust and respect. It’s normal to feel attracted to people who you connect with, on an emotional and sexual level. Every body experiences that. Wanting to feel close to people you connect with. It doesn’t mean you’re destined for poly. For example, have you ever felt like no matter how much love you receive and how many connections you have, you don’t feel loved in the same way and amount that you do for others? BPD creates this feeling that nobody will ever love you the way you love them so you think by having more connections it will fill in the gaps and allow you to accumulate the received love to being on a level you experience. It doesn’t. You can’t fill those feelings because BPD feels them on extreme levels. From experience with non monogamy, exploring multiple relationships exacerbated feelings of why am I not loved as much as I love others? Will they leave me like everyone else? Am I just being used for my body, to fill some time whilst they find someone better or to get back at their ex? Relationships of this kind are difficult for people without mental health issues but for people like us with attachment and emotional regulation disfunction? It’s a cycle of short term relationships, idolising new interests and devaluing old ones, self destruction and heartbreak. I no longer practice and am now married. Do I still get urges to sleep with my friends sometimes? Sure, but it’s not worth my sanity or losing the only person who genuinely cares about me, my health and my safety even in my rage filled episodes when I say disgusting things to them. I’m loved even when I don’t feel it. I know when this disorder has us fixed on something it’s hard to see outside of those ideas but when has reality ever come close to the ideals of fantasy?

Now that would depend on the type of love you feel though, would it not? If it’s a poly thing or if it’s just friend love with added you find them sexually attractive. You cannot make that distinction solely based on your own experiences. We may have the same diagnosis but it varies. So discounting anyone who has BPD as not being poly isn’t solid in my opinion. I do feel like I’m not loved in the amount or next to the amount I show. But I put that down to people’s misconceptions of what love means and is. Most of the people who use the term love mean it in a selfish, the way they make me feel kinda way. To fill their needs. Not about the person in general. I know this because even if said person who can give me nothing and is no longer in my life. I can still love them regardless. Many do not. They find better or something else to fill the void of what they think love is and then move on (not all, but a lot of people do this.) and that to me is usage. It’s not love. This doesn’t mean the ones who still love you but wish to find what they are looking for. This is meaning the people who just forget you exist lol. Coz to me love is forever ya know. Most people don’t know what forever means. So I don’t put that on the BPD. The part of me that feels stuff even more so, sure, I would go above and beyond for people because that’s who I am and it’s probably exacerbated by the BPD. But I prefer to make people feel loved, even if I do not receive it back. Sometimes it’s not good coz people take advantage but I’m getting there. See that’s where I think we differ. I don’t idolise people and I don’t devalue “old” relationships. Loving more than one person doesn’t devalue them in any way in my book. It’s like saying if I have another kid I’m devaluing my first born. If I get another close friend who I love as a friend im devaluing the other. It makes no sense to me. I’m happy for you that you have found the love and marriage that makes you happy :). But see i dont see it as a fantasy. I just feel i love differently i guess. And to me it’s not a usage for a fix thing. Coz even if they leave I still love them and wish them all the happiness. There is never a thought of. Fuck them, or any malice, ever.

[elegyofthemoon]

1, 2, 3, 4, 13, 21, 23 and 24 about Leo (Oz too if you want? Leo —the FE one— came to mind first lmao).

I could annihilate you with 6 and 11 but I'll be nice, you're shoe'd enough about this guy.

Super funny that I think I could actually reply to some or these questions myself imagining what you'd say xD

you could have. i wouldn't have minded i think my only response would've been (twirls hair) "wooow out here?? 😳😳on main???😳 😳" as though eitan hadn't already beaten you there by sending kevin my way and Specifically 11 to maul me.

i also bet, given how much i ramble to you, that you could probably answer these in my place :'D

i'll stick with leo though just because these things do get lengthy if i'm not too careful

Why do you like or dislike this character?

He easily charmed me with how easy it is to bully him but I think as I kept playing and getting to know him more I Regret it entirely.

I've talked about this a lot before (at least one gush pass that was given to me by Nick myeheh), but his character's particularly fun for me because of how his upbringing pretty much leaves him trapped in a complex between "seeking love in the only way he knew how to -> the people he loves and he HIMSELF placing himself up on a pedestal -> not feeling that he's actually loved and incapable of being vulnerable with the people he loves". Funnily enough, the same reason why I love him is also the same thing that also frustrates me about his character like IF YOU HAD A CHANCE..... IF YOU HAD JUST ALLOWED YOURSELF TO BE VULNERABLE.... OR IF YOU KNEW...... YOU ARE ACTUALLY LOVED

There was also this concept I had in my head about a fic that inevitably got dumped entirely (tossed out the window and set on fire with a flamethrower), which plays around the edges of "You learned to be a weapon first before you learned to be human." And I'm not saying that's exactly what his character is, but at least the way he was raised -- seeing his worth equate to usability -- it feels very akin to that.

Something something "he's held onto that knife for so long he doesn't know how to put it down".

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

I DONT REMEMBER THIS SUPPORT but someone said he admires Odin's dramatic hero monologues and in my head, if Leo were just a bit more unhinged, he would have actually started LARPing too. It's not my favorite, it's just one of my favorites lol

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Man eats his tomatoes raw and the fandom/IntSys itself makes it his whole personality.

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

🧍🏼 Unfortunately my brain's blanking I don't have ideas for this sowwy

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

The irony that is "I hate that he has such a deep association with tomatoes" and I turn around and name his playlist "🍅boy".

He deserves better than that aldskjfalj

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

Uhhhhh I had to reread several of my fics first for Leo because it's been a while since I had actually written anything for him...I'm starting to doubt my abilities to write him while reading through all this LMAO

Something I don't like about the way I write him is I feel I have a tendency to lean into his doubts a lot more than I mean to. I think Leo's a pretty confident guy. If there's something he needs and wants to do, he will do it without the warranted subtext that is his doubts. Trying to find that balance that is understanding his motives and his actions is something that I always find myself struggling with when it comes to writing for him, but for the same reasons, it also makes writing for him a delight!

As for something I do that I like for him...His thought process? I guess? I won't say that he's tight-lipped, but he has a lot more going on in his thought process than what he says. I know I just said I didn't like how much I lean into writing his doubts, and maybe this is just a me thing with my writing, but I've noticed for a few of these fics, when Leo makes a decision, it's made after carefully thinking it over. You'll get very very long explanations of what's going on through his head, shortly followed by a kinda short dialogue with another character regarding his decision. I guess I just like sitting in the process idk asjflkjh (this isnt a good at all explanation I'm just having a hard time explaining this or well, talking about my writing sorry ;;)

23. Favorite picture of this character?

If I could just put any of ai-wa's art here I would. I just adore the art so so so much and I haven't seen anyone else really get his character the way her art does mwah

But this one from the manga :] (WHICH I NEED TO RETURN TO i was watching something for fates and had a little sad chirp noise moment so I stopped. Like. Everything ALKDJFAKDSLJH)

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

🤔another fandom....so it can't be another FE game (I would have said Berkut lmao).... hm.....

I can't tell if it's just because he's sorta been fluttering through my mind, but I'd maybe argue Diluc actually............... I'm not thinking hard enough.

Looks wise, I still laugh a lot about him looking like Count Waltz from my childhood game Eternal Sonata. I was so jumpscared when I first saw Leo, but definitely made me 10x more likely to want to bully him. I don't even like Count Waltz aside from his voice actor's pretty cool

[suguruverse]

hii I literally just found your acc and i love your writing SO MUCH AHH soo i'm kinda wondering... what would being best friends with Bokuto and Kuroo be like hmm? Completely 10000% fine if u dont want to do this request, and instead just take this as an anon message saying I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH IT IS SO GOOD AND BRINGS ME SO MUCH HAPPINESS!!

— BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH BOKUTO AND KUROO

includes - bokuto koutaro and kuroo tetsurou

a/n - i think this one is def one of my favs from the series :)) pls enjoy my love <3

- i love these boys so much omg

- i dont know why, but i feel like they chest bump you all the time when they get excited but completely forget that they're built like a brick wall and would make you splat on the ground

- then they see you like half conscious and start screaming "NOOOOOO" and hold your body as if you had just died or sum

- they just love love love teasing you, they think your blushing face is adorable

- they are super awkward and super good at comforting you like most of the time it's just them really tightly hugging you while patting your back

- they are like super competitive over your attention and are like lost puppies without you which annoys everyone lol

- they’re always bringing you to clubs bc they’re party whores but will be ruining any kind of fun that you’re about to have

- wanna take 5 shots? no only take 1. wanna hook up with some random hottie? no, you’re not allowed to leave our sight. wanna go on the dance floor by yourself? no, take one of us with you in case you get hurt

- but they’re all with good intentions ofc <3

- UGH WHENEVER YOU GUYS ARE DANCING IN A CLUB THEYRE ALWAYS GRABBING YOUR WAIST

- and when y’all are in the uber back home, they love yelling out lyrics to random songs playing on the radio except the driver is this 🤏🏻 close to kicking you guys out because you’re all slurring your words and spitting out nonsense that gives everyone headaches

- if you thought they were clingy before we’ll get ready for when they’re drunk because HOLY SHIT they will literally start crying and screaming if you leave their arms and out of sight

- even if you need to need to go toilet, they don’t give two shits because they’re coming with you and are always like ‘what 🥺 happens 🥺 if 🥺 something 🥺 happens 🥺 to 🥺 you, 🥺 we 🥺 love 🥺 you 🥺 so 🥺 much, pls 🥺 don’t 🥺 leave”

- if you’re like superrrr hungover the next day, they always make a huge breakfast for you like pancakes and the whole shazam and write i ❤️ u in whipped cream

- whenever you guys have petty little arguments, you always say ‘this is why i like akaashi better, i hate you guys’ and it ALWAYS makes them all panicked and they apologise immediately

- okay so pretend you live with them for a minute

- whenever you’re washing the dishes, they’re always coming into the kitchen and dancing with a bluetooth speaker in hand, only wearing a t shirt and boxers with sunglasses, trying to annoy you

- they always try to tickle you when you’re not paying attention but if you’re anything like me and hate being tickled, just give them a good glare then they’ll stop straight away

- this is super random but you can’t ever sleep on the same bed as them bc they sleep in the starfish position and will push you off the bed unintentionally

- and no matter how much you complain, they always wanna cuddle like no matter what

- one time you left your phone with them while you went to the toilet and they took over 300 pics of themselves and changed your wallpaper and you still kept it 🥲

- they try to teach you volleyball but it never ever works out

- they like to hug you and nuzzle their head into your neck whenever they’re tired

- they LOVE going shopping with you and are the types of people to take things off racks and press it against you to see how it would look on you

- and when yall get home, they make you go a fashion show for them and they even have the numbers 7-10 on it as a way of rating how much they like the clothes

- (numbers 1-6 are not included because they know nothing you wear could EVER be below 7)

- there is nothing they love more than head rubs

- one time you were sick and when you walked out of your room, bokuto was burning down the kitchen trying to make you food while kuroo was doing handstands in the living room

- they wake you up in the middle of the night just so you can go get snacks with them so you'll just see 2 buff ass men in your room, staring down at you

- and you've definitely thrown something at them because they scared the shit out of you

- i also feel like they're morning people that make a lot of noise in the morning, whether it's making a smoothie at 6am or stomping around the house before dragging you to come to the gym with them or going on a run

- they actually ask you to help them whenever they're at the gym like timing them or laying on their back as they do pushups

- if you're mad at them for any type of reason and you storm off, they just throw you over their shoulder and carry you to the couch so you can talk about it

- i'm so sorry to say this but they send you their nudes to see if it's okay to send to someone

- they hold eye contact way too much whenever you speak to them, and it's to the point that you literally have to look another way

- kuroo puts all of your frequently used things on the top of shelves so you can ask him for help

- bokuto has definitely accidentally used your toothbrush more than once !!

- he also insists on texting every single thing that happened in his day to you, even if you're at school and work even if it's just about him taking a dump

- if you ever fall asleep on the couch, they always carry you into bed and tuck you in ******

- BOKUTO TALKS IN HIS SLEEP AND YOU CAN HERE IT FROM DOWN THE FUCKING HALL

- AND KUROO SNORES LIKE A 70 YEAR OLD GRANDPA

- if they accidentally cut themselves, they always pout and tells you to kiss their booboo

- yes, they call all injuries 'booboos'

- bokuto is a certified terrible driver pls never let him on the front seat

- kuroo is better than bokuto at driving but has severe road rage and has flips 4 people off everyday

- they insist on eating dinner together every night, and bokuto is the type of person who feeds you the first bite and is like 'HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE'

- they have accidentally called you mommy on numerous occasions but in a non sexual way

- bokuto will literally do anything for you if you asked

- they swing your hand super aggressively whenever you guys are holding hands

- they look IMMACULATE in suits sorry i don't make the rules

- they love for the moments when you initiate physical affection

gc name: bokuto's fangirls !!

bokuto: y/n

you: yes kou?

bokuto: do you think our kid would be cute?

you: how many times do i have to tell you that i'm not having a kid with you

bokuto: so you don't think they'll be cute??

kuroo: me and y/n's kid would be cuter

you: i'm not having kids with either of you shut up

bokuto: what if i propose to you???

you: i'm gonna say no

bokuto: what if i ask you tmr

you: still gonna be a no

bokuto: i'm gonna cry myself to sleep

kuroo: i'll bring you tissues, don't fret my dear

you: dinner's ready

bokuto: :((

you: stop

kuroo: i feel like eating out tonight

you: shut up i made food

bokuto: i'm upset now no-one talk to me

kuroo: yeah but what did you make

you: ur fav

bokuto: hello??

kuroo: REALLY?? YOU MADE IT FOR ME??

you: not really

bokuto: i'm gonna go cry in my room now

you: fuck i forgot to cook the rice

kuroo: we can just go get the microwave one from the store

you: okay we have to be quick

bokuto: are you guys there??

bokuto: HELLO???

bokuto: please don't forget me i love you guys

bokuto: pls pay attention to me im desperate

bokuto: why is no one home?????

bokuto: oh

[thebarbaricbeast]

astro notes mini cause im in the middle of a zoom meeting....part 3

Aries in a Virgo degree especially in the inner planets could get easily irritated or mad

mercury in Scorpio have long term memory mercury in Gemini have short term memory.....just an observation

aquarius placements are bad bitches they probably started planning their business at 12 years old. and they are so excited to move out of the house lol they just want their independence...

moon in the 3rd house culture is deciding to wake up because the any electronic is on, the smell of food, guests over, just stimulation. if there is no stimulation or uniqueness from the day before they probably wont get out of bed same with mars/moon in Gemini, Aquarius moon, mars/moon in Sagittarius and mars/moon in libra

Lilith is the moon's errors and inaccuracy in its orbit which creates this dark feminine energy opposite the moon which is the divine receptive and submissive feminine. Lilith rebels against being submissive and receptive and dependable. the moon's faults are very unpredictable and are not foreseeable or calculated by observers this is what make Lilith so unpredictable and hard to maintain. the moon and Lilith naturally makes a square but if the moon and Lilith are in signs that makes an easy aspect this will smoothen the square. if there is a square and opposition on top of that then it will create an arena where the devil and god are at war meaning the dark feminine is at war with the "angelic" and divine feminine. This becomes the most powerful aspect Lilith can have. im gonna stop there lol this post is getting too long.....

having libra placement with some impulsive placements is very hard to maintain. libra is naturally passive aggressive but a aspect like "moon aspect pluto or moon to the mars" can have outbursts of outrage that no one saw coming

woman with harsh venus-jupiter aspect can be extremely frugal with money or extremely careless meaning they could buy the whole mall lol

venus in Sagittarius usually listen to an extreme of something for example extreme rap or rock if aspecting the moon they could skip songs alot

saggittarians with alot of pluto aspects or scorpio placements could have a "dont fuck with my freedom" vibe

i think taurus are the best actors. they have the ability to fabricate intense energy to act or perform

Pluto in the 12th house people could impact people for generations its like all people who are born will have a fundamental understanding on this person..ex: marilyn monroe

Lilith Aries/Aquarius culture is wearing red to a funeral

vesta is another feminine asteroid i like to think of it as mars and venus together with some Neptune........its a feminine spiritual flame that allows your to acquire goals.she relates to spiritual practices,work and devotion

Vesta being involved with Pluto could be seen in witchcraft or could be this edgy type of feminine

Scorpio risings with Jupiter aspects could be very intimidating they usually have a long nose...

i see alot of taurus that are veryyyyyy edgy like emo clothing and black and red orrrr ......just very simple clothing lol

mercury in aspect to asteroid sappho is a person that is very very good with their words they can lure people in with just a breath from their lips

sappho in aspect to Lilith is more of a captivating sexual nature.very sexually creative and if in hard aspect it could create someone that is excessively self indulgent in expressing their sexually or has trouble expressing their sexual side or it can be using their attraction to absorb negative things they could use to manipulate people(the opposite sex) to get what they want

moon in hard aspect with the ascendant are incredibly good at lying

they say Capricorn,scorpio,leo, and aries are more favorable placements for the midheaven although it willl do well i think Aquarius,libra,pisces and saggitaurius are very great too. aquarius relates to Independence, ideas, communities, and humans this is very good for a person that makes huge impact on the world. libra relates to justice, peace, relationships, and love/romance. i have never seen a libra mc native who was not welll liked unless there are harsh aspects affecting it. these people can really be anyone they want to be ..as president they could restore justice and peace and they could be huge business owners since libra is a cardinal sign which are known as the executives. everybody is attracted to these people and ive seen it could succeed in doctors too. pisces mcs are just amazing they help so much and they help the underdogs they are what keeps our communities alive. Sagittarius are the best leaders preferably in the midheaven they can lead nations and teach and inspire tons of people. they strive for knowledge and expand horizons and lands. they could expand countries as leaders and they could restore education. virgos mc are one of my faves too they are opposite pisces mc who are more inclined in the arts. they see the more practical approach in helping people. no matter what they have in their birth charts this placement will compel them to serve the world.

fortune conjunct jupiter in the birth chart is very important. it is a strong indicator of some type of success in life but the person has to go through long journeys to arrive there and pick up great knowlege.

lilith square the ascendant people might have strange marks or scars on their body that they never knew were there from time to time

mars square the ascendant might have had an ingury to remember as a child Pluto conjunct the ascendant in Sagittarius too

moon in a fire sign really crave a partner that is patient, understanding and really good with money.

i think Lilith in libra is the most dangerous Lilith sign because they are frighteningly charming. what they tend to is make people fall in love with them then impose them in a very manipulative way to express their undying love for them.if they feel that the love is not enough they leave the person in search for another men/woman or continue to manipulate the person into doing so. they do this to make themselves feel better because of an experience they will face or have faced in their life they feel the need for a partner to love them and if they dont feel its enough they will leave...unless they actually like this person but it happens......very manipulative in relationships. this would probably be the most unbalanced libra placement.

moon harsh aspect juno either attracts very emotional partners or partners that are emotionally absent....might be on their phones during dates alot lol

pluto harsh aspect to juno attract partners that want to control them...very jealous and protective

scorpio in the 4th house people are veryyyyy protective and they might be parents who teach their kids "the hard way"...they might have seaky children and children who are distant or children that are very clingy ...they know everything their child is thinking at all times...

every water moon hated going to school as a child( like kindergarten or pre-k) cause they didn't want their mommy to leave..probably frequent calls because they wanted "mommy" to come pick them up or really hates leaving their mom and entering school alone.

pluto in the 5th house people probably lost their virginity at a young age or just done something.....not good as a child...like steal a car etc

venus in the 8th/scorpio might be tempted to be exotic dancers lol or leo/libra in the 8th

sun in the 8th house people have the potential to be really really funny and entertaining. they probably have so much to say and are born with a natural confidence...they give me like god(but underworld) vibes and they are not afraid to put someone in their place. they would probably be involved in drama or just not care at all. (in school)......they have anger issues lol

child i just have to say that Sagittarius guys can be jerks....but not all of them but most of them lol

if you ever meet a immature scorpio you should probably run they will ruin your life...veryyyyy manipulative and they can be liars...verrry jealous........"if i cant have you know one can vibe" in a relationship.

scorpio risings can do weird thing with their bodies like with their tongues or fingers etc

venus square the ascendant people probably have this one feature that they really hate on their body.....

moon in water signs people tend to lie alot when it comes to situations with emotional pressure especially if this is in a air degree.

ive noticed that alot of people are jealous of leo risings

jupiter in the 1st house people love attention. they shower in it and they can do reckless things in in the middle of the spotlight

people with moon in Sagittarius probably had a mother that let the dad take charge or gave the kid space to explore life. Sagittarius moons probably went through alot.

[idiotwhotalkstoomuch]

I never expected you guys to like demon Senjuro so much lol I’m really happy to see that like it was such a random impulse thought but the au has a lot of room for growth

In this post Im gonna establish a few things about what happened to Senjuro and Kyojuro in the events between Senjuro’s “death” and the pillar meeting. I will only cover their relationship and a little bit of Senjuro’s relationship with Tanjiro. The others can come at a different post cause this post is gonna be long lol so I put it under cut cause no one really wants a post to flood their dash

TW: Mentions of death (some are children), mentions of cannibalism (If you’ve seen even the first episode of demon slayer and had no problem, you’re fine with this post. This post is slightly not anime only friendly as I make references to an upper moon and I show a manga only panel as of posting this) Shnjuro gets really depressed but luckily there is no attempted suicide

Senjuro Rengoku

- His class was at the bottom floor and they were cleaning the school (I heard thats a thing in Japan if someone has a better idea on what they’re doing feel free to shoot an ask) when they got attacked

- In canon we dont know his age but I’m gonna guess like 12-14 but in the au he is 13 so he was 12 when he became a demon. A rogue demon attacked Senjuro’s class and Senjuro ran to get help and was fatally injured but still managed run to get help as he was given a nichirin sword and even if it didnt change color he must have known breathing techniques at the very least on a basic level and the demon was too preoccupied with some of the teachers and others trying to kill the demon, of course unaware of what it was except for Senjuro

- Upper moon 4 was sneaking around when he saw the all but dead body of Senjuro and demons really dont have standards for turning people into demons so when he noticed he was alive, turned him into a demon mostly so that if he did find any “evil people” (demon slayers) he could use him as his meat shield alongside his personalities

- When Senjuro woke up as a demon (cause even if he was a breath user he was very inexperienced so Hantengu had no problem making him a demon), he had no memory of his life as a human and looked around trying to find a human to satiate his hunger and saw a human in the distance with someone and began to run to them to satiate his hunger when he felt himself being held back. 

- The spirit of Ruka Rengoku gently held her son back and instructed him to not eat humans as that’s not something he should do and even if Senjuro couldn’t recognize the woman holding him back, he found himself obeying her and running to go to a place to hide from the sun

- From that moment on for a few day he would hop from place to place whether underneath homes, in caves or any place he could find to avoid being seen and to be shielded from the sun and found himself growing sleepy so in the cave he hid in, far away from the place he was last in, he closed his eyes and fell asleep for a year

- When he woke up, he had unwittingly burnt away Muzan’s control of him and was unsure on what to do when Ruka’s spirit appeared again telling him that he needs to find his way home. Senjuro wasn’t actually listening to a lot of what she said except one thing stuck to him. 

- “Senjuro”, he didn’t know what his name was as a demon but the name seem to stick to him and he figured this must be his name (he would of course be correct)

- When he found himself staying with the Kamaboko squad, having been spared despite being a demon due to him not having any form of aggression to them (something they all noticed due to his general demeanor and their enhanced sense) and Tanjiro could smell he hadnt eaten one human and he invited him to join them. He joined Nezuko in her box (she can grow really really tiny if she wants or is tired)

Reference: 

Kny chapter 85

- He joined for two reasons: One, he was really scared of people and demon slayers especially so when Tanjiro offered him the chance to be able to be safe and hide he took it. Secondly, he wasn’t sure but the smile Tanjiro gave and his warm reassurance reminded of him of someone, when he thought hard he only saw blurry shadows and got a headache so didn’t try to push it

- Tanjiro did ask him in the wisteria house while Zenitsu was chatting with Nezuko and Inosuke was off being Inosuke about his past and Senjuro told him about his brief meetings with a woman with black hair and asks if they’ve met before as he feels familiar

- This is where he gets the idea that the woman with black hair (Ruka) is his mother and Tanjiro guesses that the person that he thinks is Tanjiro must be his father (right on the first part Tanjiro but wrong on the second lol, you tried)

- He wears a cyan yukata with a new hakama pants as the clothes he was previously wearing was the same bloodstained clothes he wore after turning into a demon and Tanjiro didnt want to leave him in that. Tanjiro thought to get him a gag but the idea made Senjuro uncomfortable so Tanjiro made him swear to never eat a single human

- In Mount Nagatumo, he was too scared to jump out to protect Tanjiro like Nezuko but when she gets sliced up he leaves the box to watch her while Tanjiro fights Rui, unfortunately he is caught in Rui’s webs like Nezuko and was saved from it by Nezuko flames (though it did burn him a fair bit, Nezuko would apologize to him for this later)

- Giyuu doesn’t kill Senjuro cause his resemblance to Kyojuro despite the different clothes and demon eyes is clear to anyone who can see and Shinobu also finds herself hesitating but shakes those feelings off as Kyojuro deserves better than to see his little brother as a demon. Luckily Giyuu stops him and Senjuro runs with Nezuko and Tanjiro but is later taken back to the demon slyer corps by a Kakushi who put him and Nezuko back in their box

- When Sanemi stabbed the box, he moved to try and protect Nezuko but the box was too cramped and they both got stabbed despite his efforts. Later when he tries to bait him with his marechi blood, he’s too focused on resisting the blood and on Nezuko who he had grown to see as a sister to care about the wide eyed looks the pillars were giving him.

Kyojuro Rengoku (I am so sorry in advance Kyojuro simps I put this man THROUGH IT)

- He had just finished a mission and was going to get another mission when a crow he hadn’t seen work in years came flying to him, obviously panicked telling him how Senjuro’s school was attacked and how no one can find Senjuro among the bodies. The crow was Shinjuro’s

- When he hears that, all the kakushi and other demon slayers present would say they had never seen the flame pillar run so frantically, he only stopped to apologize briefly if he bumped into someone while running but the only thing racing in his mind was his little brother who had no weapon to defend himself with. He forced the image of his brother being nothing but a corpse away only thinking about saving Senjuro

- When he reached the school, he forced himself to calm down. Panicking isn’t going to magically bring Senjuro to him so he needs to keep himself in check because with so many people dead, he’s not the only one concerned over the kids

- There were no survivors on the area that was attacked, the police were there investigating the deaths of the many children and teachers, Kyojuro had to spend time convincing the police he was with them and to be allowed to investigate as well

- With no survivors, he heard from the police that there was a blood trail when they got there and he went to find the trail, when he reached the end of it where there were no traces of Senjuro but since the people there were untrained civilians, Senjuro was the only possible person to have been there

- He spent multiple days searching, Mitsuri was at one point sent to check on him and it was clear he was pushing himself, as days passed by, his composure and bright demeanor were crumbling and he started latching onto any lead to at the very least find the body of Senjuro to take back home but it was becoming clear that he would never find it and a kakushi had to be the one to tell him that his body was likely eaten to the bone or eaten and discarded to either rot away or eaten by someone else

- Kyojuro took a week off, not just because of the grief he felt at that moment but because he needed to check on his father and make sure he would be okay, the man didn’t even face Kyojuro when he came in to visit, he forced himself to not cry in front of his father as he tried to talk to the man who couldn’t even say a word and just drank away even as his eldest son tried to talk to him

- Servants were hired to monitor Shinjuro by Kyojuro as he was concerned about his health both physically and mentally but he did notice how Shinjuro never resisted to being taken care of by the people he hired. They reported to him he could be heard muttering Senjuro’s name and even stares at his room for extended periods of time

- When he made his return, he apologized to the pillars for his behavior the past two weeks (even though no one blamed the man, some even said it was okay if he needed more time, they wouldn’t judge) but whenever he was told that he said he had to be strong to protect the weak so he could be someone that could stop families from ending up like his own

- He was far more determined in killing demons, demon attacks had become personal to him now, whenever he saw a demon eating people he found himself wondering what they must’ve thought in the afterlife as the demon desecrated their bodies

- In the pillar meeting, when he was informed of a swordsman who travelled with not one but two demons, he felt disgust as who knows how many humans they could eat. On the way to the meeting, he couldn’t help but notice Shinobu deliberately avoiding him a bit, Giyuu was doing the same but the man never really talked with them much to begin with

- When he saw Senjuro go out of the box with Nezuko, he felt the smile on his face drop and his heart practically sunk to the core of the earth as he saw the unmistakable hair of a Rengoku and the face was so clearly Senjuro’s despite his eyes having a black sclera and his iris and pupil becoming cat like, the pillars had all turned to see if the flame pillar was alright and he could hear Himejima mutter prayers and Mitsuri was on the verge of tears seeing Senjuro alive but as a demon

- He found himself going into denial until Tanjiro, who had been freed as Obanai left to comfort the distressed love pillar, ran and yelled Senjuro’s name and told him to resist his hunger

- “My sister and the other demon with us are different! They would never eat a human!”

- Senjuro was a good kid, he was innocent, kind and a bit on the timid side. He had helped raise him, he knew Senjuro would never want to harrm a fellow human even when threatened. 

[jung-koook]

hi~

I've really liked scrolling through ur posts lately lol. The pinned post tho 😮‍💨 the fact that that mans has the same birthday as me----

Anyway I just wanna reach out to you, after seeing all of those hateful comments, and say, fuk those people, bts has always advocated love and no hate! I saw in another post of yours, reply to a hate comment and it really struck a cord in me. those people have no right calling themselves army or any where near that, when they act like that. you said you were tired of receiving comments like those and I'll I want to say is, keep your head up! I know you probably never asked for my support but... I just wanted to say this :)

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

-thanks for making my day better with gifs!-

fighting~

em

thank you so much for you words! I appreciate them so much! I was going to reply other messages about what i posted but after seeing that one I just lost my patience. you know, after the announcement we had this week I'm tired of some armys and no patience for some of them! saying I wish hobi had a physical cd doesnt make me dislike and disrespect jin or hobi. and I'm going to have to stop expressing my opinion on my blog because there are people who think that??? lmao :) no one has the right to come to my blog to say that I dont like a member because I commented something like that, because I criticized something. the other artists who had a digital album also had a physical dd version. if you follow me for a while you will know that i have been talking about hobi having a cd since his album came out. you can come to my blog and talk to me about it, maybe tell me that i expressed myself wrong but you have no right to question my love for all of them. if you realize its always like this, example. when there are people in our fandom who say they dont like something or that they wish something was different, there will always be a person to twist their words and say that the person hate bangtan now and that they have to leave the fandom. this is ridiculous and this is not love, this is obsession! I'm really so tired of how easy it is on the internet for them to take your words and twist it all and put it in a false narrative of what you NEVER said. its okay if you feel like criticizing something, or if you feel like expressing your opinion that you wish something was different, or that you didnt like something here. you can love something very much and still criticize it, or wish it were different, or not like everything they do. It doesnt make you love someone less, ok.

I know their solo albums wont be the same, I know hobi said he chose to have a digital album, I know all that. but I can still wish for something to be different. some people here have been driving me mad for awhile but there is a point i will never allow which is questioning the love i have for all the members! this is the last time i'm going to talk about this, i'm extremely mentally tired from paying attention to these ridiculous people.

[thisdreamplace]

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

[ye-local-simp]

Hi omg i wanted to request for the twst match up request if possible ? If not feel free to ignore !!

Physically speaking i have dark brown hair, im 5'7 and kind of chubby? Not too much, (kind of thick?) but there is visible squeezable fat on my body KWNDLMW

Im a pisces, and an INFP ! Im usually open minded and creative, and impulsive on most occasions . I am very productive once i understand my goal and i want to better myself in my own way. I am very sympathetic and usually am the therapist of the group, its a kind of love language ? I like listening to people (mostly friends) and just letting them decompress in my presence. I like being trusted in a way someone can mentally and emotionally rely on me from time to time. Usually i tend to be quiet in public spaces and with strangers until someone brings up interests they like,, and i kind of blabber about it until we become pretty good friends lol. I tend to daydream quite often and i am pretty melancholic and nostalgic as a person,, i really like reminiscing about certain past events and overall i just like that kind of vibe too.

I am heavily introverted, i like being around friends (quality time !!) But if im at a party with people i dont know i dont talk or anything. Its easy for me to be left out and feel lonely. I do also unfortunately isolate myself from time to time for long periods. I very often feel like the amount of love i can give is not reciprocated?

Regarding my interests,, i really like soft desserts like ice cream , and i just overall like warm and cozy things and places. I admire hard work, and i like when someone is able to hear out about different opinions,, i like confidence but not the kind that makes you arrogant ? I really admire straightforward people who sometimes Tell You Like It Is™️ but also help you figure out stuff. I also really get along with people with a slightly dumb sense of humor.

My main aim is to understand people, i want to help people and listen to them, i want to hear about the things they cant really tell anyone because they think its not that important or its not too interesting or maybe its too heavy. I want to understand a lot of people, even if i might not like them.

I hope this is enough ?? Sorry if i dragged it out for too long ! -👾

You are matched with....

Trey!!

-Already of to a great start since you two have the same ideals or thoughts. For appearance, he already finds slightly chubby people cute so he doesn't really have any problems on your looks.

-You two shall be known as the therapist couple.Probably because that's what you are to others and each other.You both have problems of your own and would sometimes rant about it to each other which makes the relationship a healing place for you both. So you two never really feel like you are fighting any problems alone.

-Heartslabyul is a dorm that is actually really outwards but cozy at the same time so it's no surprise that his room is like that so you two normally just have desert in his room while watching a movie as a date since it isn't like you two can leave campus for one. Other dates would be unbirthday parties if Riddle allows it(most likely would if you were a love interest of his childhood friend) or baking treats together.

-You two would definitely be the most romantic couple in the entire acade- world.

The entire relationship is just full of agreements so literally no issues here.

[artreider]

Let's try to get this final live blog on my station 19 rewatch done. I'm currently laid up on my couch in mild pain but unable to do anything else.

I don't really like flashback episodes but i want one for the premiere since we are jumping so far ahead. I hate that this episode starts with a fight. But damn knowing what the fight is over, i love how loyal andy is to maya in this episode. Something ive wanted for her and the team. Qnd also jaina looks gorgeous.

The fire scene yay another fire on the fire show lmao. Feel like we missed some last year which im sure was covid related.

The marina scene ugh chefs kiss. I love how happy and giddy they are. I do wish we couldve gotten to see some of their month apart communication and their quarantining apart those two weeks when carina got back. I wrote a little something related to that and i may share before the premiere of season 5.

The quiet moment between carina saying her morning was better than those 6 weeks and then asking about mayas folks was a beautiful and real moment and i love it. So brief it could be overlooked but great choice for team.

The little bit of danielle and stefania that was them and adlibbed in this episode was so great also.

I love that rhey addressed how everyone was able to attend maskless and how safe the wedding was keeping the real world element in. Also vic love you and your chicken dance comment makes me sad that we didnt get it.

Vics parents trying to talk to her about theo is so cute.

Poor lawyer she'd be good for dean.

I understand some people dont come out until late in life but that is hard to hear that you havent loved the person youve been with for decades like you do this new person. That would hurt me so much to hear, like i couldve been with someone who is my great love if youd told me sooner. I love/hate this storyline for travis family.

Ugh if this fire had gone on any longer those poor kids and elderly couple.

Haha andy you should wait until someone answers the door for you when visiting almost newlyweds or people who've been seperated for 6 weeks lmao.

Also maya's excuse and none wet (shower) sex hair i love it.

Ugh sullivan trying to defend himself makes me so upset.

Bailey giving ben hell about second and third opinions is funny, like i figure shed be all for it.

Inara and marcus leaving jack is sad. I hope we still get to see marsha in season 5. Also if they do pair jack and jo itd be a bit ironic. I mean jo too had an abusive ex like inara.

Also jack and his marsha have similar eyes, itd be something if it came out she really was his mom.

I dont understand how maya hadnt settled on what to wear she's queen of the clipboard lmao. Just goes to show how some things throw us off course. Also i totally get her saying her outfit choice will define her forever. I judge my look in my wedding photos all the time and feel like other people do as well.

Why do i feel like this exchange between maya and carina was mostly adlibbed? It just feels so fun.

This poor family and ugh i couldnt imagine having to make the tough calls of firefighters/fire captains.

Love that all the fire crew helped put the wedding on.

I understand travis emotion here.

How'd this conversation about maya's folks get started with andy???

I love that maya and andy's friendship is restored. Also famous last words maya, dont speak the bad juju into existence.

Dean you shouldve spoken up there.

Why the chief there? I live in a city and the chief aint showing up for a house call that needs a few units. At least not until fire is out of they for some reason cant get it out.

Lmao maya freaking out about wearing the same thing as carina. Andy therapizing maya is funny.

That poor boy.

The dad comments to ben are beautiful. Also love that so many of the team know how dean feels about vic.

So why is travis getting dressed separately than the rest of his team. I mean i know its because he doesnt know about Dean's feelings and pushes vic to give theo a chance as well as allow theo and travis to talk but come on. He wouldnt get ready separately.

Also what was the point of theo going to that room if not to get ready. Sorry just annoying.

I wish carina had had someone mention andrew to her. Whether ben, bailey, maya or even any of the fire team who worked on the call with him during the crossover awhile back. Her grief during this day of happiness should've been acknowledged, even with just a remembrance table for him amd other family she lost to covid.

I do love this beautiful moment with vic though saying this isnt all just for maya.

Oh my how i love the maya confronting her father. She is the brave i want to be. Also what she says to her mom, yes chefs kiss. However when her mom shows up at the wedding, really the woman couldnt grab a nice shirt or dress to wear on her way out or on her way to the wedding.

I also love the look of pride on maya's moms face both at the house and the wedding.

Im sad we probably wont get any moments of her living with marina due to the time jump.

Ugh the choice that cost maya her promotion but ahouldnt have.

Also with all maya's options for clothes, couldnt they had dressed her mama in something borrowed from maya. Lol im sorry it bothers me so.

Vic's song for the intro is beautiful. Barrett has a beautiful voice.

Maya is so happy her mom is there and i love it. Also in my head at least one person videoing is doing it for the greys family who couldnt make it to the wedding for carina.

I also love maya singing along with vic to carina.

Queen of the clipboard forgetting to write her vows is special and funny. I love carina talking her down from a panic attack. Also her simple vow is beautiful and how carina who probably did write her vows saying we're good instead of reading them after seeing maya's mom in attendance and the look shared is everything.

I truly believe that was the moment she 100% knew maya had changed from end of season 3, was definitely all the way in. She knew what it meant for maya's mom to be there.

Love the dance montage and improved marina kiss.

Another healing theo and travis talk.

Sullivan just cant let it go and ugh trying to justify it. I just cant, still not over it. Even if he isnt captain in season 5 it still isnt right.

Sullivan you cant say you have the teams back then saying you can control them and throwing maya under the bus. Those are contradictory.

This jack and andy conversation is interesting.

This marina conversation is funny but sad when you know the end of the episode.

Its so funny that so few people know about Miller's feelings at this point.

It'll be interesting to see the travis, vic and theo in season 5.

Ben and bailey are so cute.

Wish we couldve had conversations at the wedding with maya and her mom or carina and maya's mom or the 3 of them.

Inara is so wise. I hate this for all 4 of them.

Gotta love the ole grab em and pull em back to kiss them and let them know how you really feel tremmett moment.

Too late dean, they tried to tell you.

I love marina dancing in the background ugh sullivan and the surrera rehashing.

Time for the horrible news ugh.

Everyone just looking at marina and knowing is horrible.

Great season, great episode and im looking forward to whats next.

Thank you to everyone thats been following my rewatch blogging, and for all the kind comments. I appreciate it so much, made the summer so fun.