#was supposed to do an angst piece today but i wasnt in the mood for that kind of stuff

[teovy]

butterflies.

It was her fault, she reconned, that her rising and falling chest became a comfort to her. Summer nights were stifled with unforgiven promises, like butterflies passing by a highway, their flutter only a matter of interest to those looking for those few seconds, or the heat that she wasn’t sure came from the blush present on her girlfriend’s cheeks, or from the outside world, trying to infiltrate what little close time they shared. Ivy’s room was special, with its intricacies scattered across the wall, each bringing a memory that could almost make Teony laugh, or cry, with nostalgic sentiments that she craved to relive through once more, seeing each smile, each laugh, each tear, again.

Her breath was quiet, and if only Teony was in a position to look up, she could see her eyes closed, more at peace than the world could imagine the otherwise ruler above all, her eyes never ceasing to look at each uncrowned head, judgement passed. A rose-tint spread across her features was forevermore reserved for her eyes, and Teony felt her heart melt with each new part of Ivy that she allowed to be revealed, their hearts drawing closer, as pride became cast aside in love’s favour.

Her eyes drifted to the ceiling, the moonlit sky casting small breaths of light through the window, and the stars above illuminated with a warm glow. Comforting, she recalled the word, as she wrapped her arm around Ivy tighter, hearing a small disgruntled echo back in response. Ivy’s plan to take them down, for they were too childish, too simple, too easy to judge her as a child who never left their private neverland, was short-lived. Teony retorted, “but you are a star too, love. And when I’m not here to remind you, I wish for those to shine, and remind you of your own strength”. Ivy didn’t respond, but the stars stayed. Perhaps she didn’t mind them too much, after all.

[bitchiha]

A/N: So I wrote this instead of doing any of my psych assignments which is fine by me. Im a little bit rusty with one shots bc the last one I did was a Harry Potter angst with Draco and that was on a diff blog a few months back. Any who, enjoy and thank you for requesting!!

Request:  I would like to order a Gaara x Reader where Gaara and Reader are dating, but she is a Leaf Shinobi, and she she is always very talkative and smiling, but one day she is serious and quiet, and he is worried, but finds out that she is only concerned with something kind of silly, and then he is relieved and realizes that he really loves her.

✎ Worry (Gaara oneshot)

You didn’t get to see your boyfriend all that often, being that you were a Leaf ninja, constantly on missions and he was a Kazekage, constantly protecting his village. However, whenever you did reunite it was always memorable. In fact, Gaara would be lying if he didn't count down the days to your arrival. 

He always looked forward to seeing you. He would stand at the gate of his village, waiting for your body to slowly become visible through the winds of the blowing sand. He loved the face you would make when you finally discerned his shape in the distance: your eyes would brighten and a smile would spread rapidly across your face. Even if the journey was long, seeing him waiting there always gave you a burst of energy. You would then squint your eyes to shield them from the sand and run the rest of the distance towards him. 

However, when Gaara spotted your figure in the distance today, you seemed a little tense. In fact, when you spotted him you didn't make that signature facial expression he loved so much or even start running towards him.

Something was off.

He watched you carefully as you got closer and frowned. He lacked a lot of emotional experience with others, but there was no denying that you looked worried.

Seeing you like that made him panic a little bit. Again, Gaara has never been very good with emotions - if anything he relied on you to be the one to help him navigate peoples feelings. So seeing you in such a worried state made him really, well... worried. He didn’t know what to do.

Once you finally arrived face to face at the gate you greeted him with a small smile and he guided you into the village. He gave you a little perplexed look in return before weeding the two of you out of the way of villagers and back towards his apartment.

I should say something, he thought to himself almost awkwardly, but he just didn’t know what. 

Normally you would have started a conversation with him and he would have listened carefully, not saying much himself as he preferred hearing your voice as opposed to his own. However, you didn't seem in the mood to do that today, meaning it was his turn to pick up the slack. 

“Erm- Temari and Kankuro will be happy to see you. Kankuro has been working on a new puppet and he has been dying to show everyone in the village how good it is.” 

You laughed at that, which made his heart warm a bit, but he couldn't help but sense a possible hint of distractedness in your tone. You were gnawing at your nails too - he picked up that it was your nervous habit -  which made him fall back into silence again. 

What am I supposed to say? What do people do in these situations? 

Gaara lead you up to his apartment, knowing that you were tired and usually fell asleep upon arriving at the village.

Typically after you woke up from a nap you two would eat dinner together and then you would really start to catch up on things. You would talk about eventful things that happened on your missions and he would talk about Kank and Temari or some of his own eventful occurrences as the Kazekage in return.

Your naps usually lasted pretty long after your 3 day journey. That would give Gaara just enough time to drop by Temari’s and see if she could assist him with how to deal with this whole situation. She was always the one he fell back on for relationship advice. Deeming Kankuro useless in this field, as he talked more to puppets than to actual human beings.

He opens the door for you upon arriving and remains at the enterance, when you realize he isn’t coming side with you, you turned to look at him. You stared at each other from your respective points in the apartment: him at the door and you just outside his bedroom. 

“Gaara?.. Aren't you coming inside?” 

“...No, I need to, uhm, finish some paperwork. In the meantime you should really take a nap. I’ll be back by the time you wake up.” He said awkardly as he closed the door.

With that, he left you to sleep as he paid his sister a visit, asking her for some needed advice.

Temari was surprised at the visit, it was always very rare for Gaara to ask her for this kind of advice anyway, let alone for him to have a worried look on his face too.

When she lets him inside, he recalls the events that have transpired so far, sitting across from eachother at Temaris dinner table. There was a guide book on Shogi sitting atop the table, which Gaara knew she was reading just to impress a certain Leaf ninja. Anyway, when she caught him staring at it she batted it away embarrassedly and cleared her throat, her face growing hot. There was a moment of silence in the room as she thought about what Gaara had told her. 

“Hm... Well, did you ask her whats wrong?”

“...No.” He realized that would have been an important piece of information to ask.

“Gaara!“

Temari shook her head, but then proceeded to give him a simple rundown of what to do. 

Step one: ask whats wrong

Step two: ask how you can make her feel better 

It seemed so simple when Temari said it, honestly he felt a little embarrassed that he couldn't manage to think of it on his own. He wasnt going to waste anymore time now that he knew what to do though.

As he was leaving Temaris apartment she smiled at him.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that...”

“Oh, its nothing...” she giggled. “Well actually Gaara, you know, going out of your way like this is something people normally do when they care about someone.” Then she closed the door with a cheeky grin, leaving Gaara to blush at the face of a wooden door. 

On his way back to the apartment he thought about what Temari said, going out of your way like this is something people normally do when they care about someone... Of course in his head he always knew he really cared about y/n, but having someone else notice it too really made him stop and think. 

He remembered when he fought Naruto back when the sound village attacked the Leaf. Naruto had opened Gaaras eyes to a lot of important things. He had shown him that you needed to have people important in your life. People that you would fight for and even die for... And for the first time, Gaara realized that y/n ticked all those boxes.

As he arrived back at his apartment, he opened the door quietly, not wanting to wake you up. He could hear your gentle snores as he made his way to your bedroom, holding a medium sized box in his hands.

After leaving Temari’s he had wandered the village a bit, thinking over a few things and clearing his mind, he had passed by your favourite dessert place in his village and figured that it would be a good gesture if he got you something. Afterall, Temari was always so happy when got sweets from anyone.

He opened the bedroom door carefully only to see you curled up on his bed sleeping. It made his heart feel all funny when he seen you sleeping. You looked so calm and fragile. He couldn't really admire it for all that long though because His presence must have alerted you. He watched your eyes open groggily as you sat up.

“Gaara? Is that you?” you asked, letting out a yawn. 

“Yes. I uhm... I got you something.” he placed the white box on the bed next to you. 

 You opened the lid curiously, to reveal your favourite dessert staring back at you. It made you smile widely, as if nothing was wrong in the first place, but in a few seconds the worry crawled back onto your face. This time though, Gaara didn't get discouraged. 

“Something has been bothering you since you got here, y/n. I want to help you, but I can't if you don't tell me whats wrong.”

It was strange seeing him so forward with feelings, but you liked it. In fact it made you feel relieved that you could tell him about your predicament.

“I guess you're right... Well, you see I guess its kind of... A bit silly but I got you a gift a while back. It was so pretty... You see, it was this necklace I found in a village I was passing through for a mission, it was this red gem wrapped around a sort of turquoise wire and it made me think of you instantly. So, I bought it and I was so excited to give it to you I kept taking it out of my backpack to look at it on my way here. Then when I woke up this morning and checked out of the Inn I stayed in, I went to look at it one more time before I arrived and it was gone!” you sighed, falling back onto the pillows. 

“It would have looked perfect on you, Gaara. I just wanted to give you something special for you to remember me by for when Im not visiting. I don't know I guess its kind of a stupid thing to be upset about, but I just can't help it.” You covered your face with your hands. 

There was a dip in the bed and you felt Gaara lay down beside you, causing you to peek at him through your fingers.

He was relieved to say the least, in fact he may have even been smiling a little bit. This was all she was worried about? It wasn’t about anything that he had done, it was just about a necklace!

“Thats all that was worrying you?” He asked as he looked at you with an almost soft expression, he gently removed your hands from your face. 

“You know, y/n, I’m sure the necklace would have been nice, but all that really matters to me is that you're here now and we can spend some time together.” 

He thought about what you said: I just wanted to give you something special for you to remember me by for when Im not visiting. 

“And you don't need to give me anything to remind me of you while you're away because I think about you all the time when you're not here with me.” He blushed a little bit after he said it, but refused to get all shy about it. 

When you heard that, a big smile appeared on your face, the same one that he always saw when you ran towards him at the villages gates. It was a huge relief to see you like this again, it felt as though there was a crack of sunshine in the middle of a storm of dark clouds. He could see the worry and frustration in your face slipping away slowly. 

It made him feel happy, to be able to make you feel better again. He really did care about you.

“Come on then, eat your dessert and then we’ll go see Kankuro. Like I said earlier, he wants to show you his new puppet.” 

[deadanddeactivated]

Changes

So @figurative-siren-song posted a thing today and uhh apparently i was really in the mood to write some heavy angst. This was before i was having a really shitty day (tbh when i wasnt having a shitty day it had a happy ending).

Anyway no fancy post editing because tumblr mobile sucks, please enjoy

AO3

--

The sides weren't like real people.  They couldn't just… reinvent themselves or change the way a real person could.  When the sides wanted to change, they had to break apart. Become a fragment of their old selves, and let the other fragments fade.

Virgil knew a thing or two about changing.

Not like De, who was still self-preservation no matter what he called himself.   Or like the twins, who couldn't even remember King tearing himself in two.

Forgetting didn't work so well for Virgil.  Instinct wouldn't have made the mistakes Fear and Anxiety had.  

Then again, Instinct was the one that started the whole mess.

(It's not like the memories had stayed away anyway.  Not like with the twins. Virgil supposed he should have expected that.  It just wasn't in his nature to forget, even if he couldn't remember what he wasn't forgetting.)

The point is, Virgil knew a thing or two about changing.  

So the pit in his stomach didn't really come as a surprise.  He knew the risks. Lifetimes ago Instinct and King had talked about them at length.

"Hey Roman."  Virgil greeted that morning, hoping Roman didn't notice how tense his smile was.  "You want to spar or something today?" 

"Don't distract me!"  Roman declared, yanking a snack from the cupboard and turning back towards his room.  "I have to get this project done! Thomas is depending on me!"

"Oh."  Virgil breathed, even though Roman was already gone.  Patton walked in next, offering a smile as he prepared a quick breakfast of sugary cereals.

"Good morning Virgil!"  He greeted.

"Morning Pat."  Virgil returned the smile, even if it didn't  reach his eyes. "Hey, do you maybe want to bake today?  I think we're running low on cookies."

"Oh that sounds swell!"  Patton said. "But Thomas is feeling a bit disheartened at the moment, I need to spend the day lifting his spirits!"

"Right, of course."  Virgil mumbled. 

"Thanks for understanding kiddo, we'll bake tomorrow."  Patton assured, planting a kiss atop Virgil's head as he passed.

"Tomorrow, right."  Virgil agreed, looking down at his hand.  Tomorrow.

Logan was already at work when Virgil knocked at his door. 

"Yes?"  He asked, sounding a little annoyed at being interrupted.  Virgil hesitated, biting his lip a moment before pushing on.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to go stargazing, maybe."  Virgil suggested. "The sky in Remus' side of the mindscape always does cool things when you're around."

"My apologies Virgil but I am busy preparing next week's schedule.  Perhaps we can go some other time." Logan refused and immediately turned back to his work, assuming the conversation to be over.  Virgil just sighed, stepping from the room and wondering what now.

As he was turning to his own room, thinking of maybe writing a letter, the rundown door at the end of the hall caught his eye.  

Trying in person couldn't do any harm, right?

Stepping through to the other side of Thomas' mind, Virgil was a little surprised to find he remembered exactly how to get to the living room.  He even remembered which of the floorboards creaked and which would break if he stood on them. It was actually a little bit of fun and by the time he found De, reading on the couch, he was smiling.

"He De!"  He greeted.  "Wanna hang out?"

"Why?"  De hissed, destroying Virgil's good mood.  "I'm sure the others didn't send you here to spy on me."

"What? No, I just wanted to-"

"Don't save it."  De spat, standing.  "You didn't choose your side, don't live with it."  Without another word, De walked off.

That…

That didn't go the way Virgil was hoping.

But it's alright, he told himself.  There was still Remus. Hopes high, Virgil eventually found the green side in his side of the imagination.

"Remus!"  He called, waving.  The glare Remus shot his way made Virgil stagger back.

"Fuck off."  The duke growled.

"Wait, Remus-" But before Virgil could speak, throned vines rose from the ground to separate them.

"I said fuck off."  Remus repeated.

Oh.

Right.

Okay.

That's…

That's fine.  

It's fine.  

Virgil will just try again tomorrow, right?

But even as he thought it, Virgil knew he wouldn't last that long.  He didn't have the drive to fight against the growing pit in his chest.

Wiping his eyes, Virgil knew there was really only one thing left to do.  It still took him another moment to sink out.

"Virgil!"  Thomas startled as Virgil appeared, jumping back from his computer. "Uh, not that I'm complaining but what are you doing here?  I'm not anxious."

"I know."  Virgil said, leaning against the back of the couch and looking off to the side.  "I just, wanted you to know that I'm proud of you. You're doing a great job."

"Thanks?"  Thomas frowned, sounding unsure.  "Is everything alright man?"

"Yeah."  Virgil lied.  "It's nothing I wasn't prepared for."  He took a deep breath and forced himself to look at Thomas.  "Bye Thomas." He said.  

Then, in a blink, he was gone.

Instinct sat with King a lifetime ago.

"If you break apart you might fade."  Instinct warned.

"I'm going to tear myself apart no matter what."  King argued. "Maybe this way I'll survive it."

"It's too dangerous." Instinct argued.

"It's my only choice."  King shrugged. "I'm going to forget this.  I don't want the mini mes to know about this, just in case they keep breaking.  In case they become something so small, Thomas doesn't need them anymore."

"Thomas is always going to need his creativity."  Instinct claimed.

"Not this one he doesn't.  I don't make sense to him anymore."  King sighed. "Look after them, won't you?"

"...I will."  When King broke he tried for two perfect halves and yet Virgil's pretty sure there were pieces missing.  Things so very King that went to neither Roman nor Remus.

Years later Instinct sat alone.  

Thomas wasn't listening to him, the sides weren't listening to him.  He couldn't be sure if it was Morality turning Patton, and therefore all of Thomas, against him.  Or was it Thomas' new ideas of instincts being somehow lesser than normal thoughts. Maybe it was Instinct himself athat had pushed them away.

Whatever the cause, the problem remained.  Thomas wasn't listening to him. The sides weren't listening to him.  He couldn't do his job like this.

What was the solution?

King.  King was.  

That night, something in Instinct broke and he ceased to be.  

Fear arrived in the mindscape a few days later.

Fear had long since broken into Anxiety when the memories started flooding back.  Spurred on by desperate attempts to remember a name he wasn't sure he had.

And with those memories came a realization.

Anxiety was a fragment of a fragment.  He was too small a side. Instinct could handle a change in Thomas.  But Anxiety? One wrong change and he'd cease to be.

That night Anxiety tried to leave first, hoping it might hurt less.

Now, fading into Thomas' subconscious, Virgil was glad he stuck around.  He just wished he had longer, to fix the things he broke.

But Anxiety wasn't like Emotions or Logic or Creativity.   Next to them he was just a small part of Thomas. A part Thomas could manage himself now.  He didn't need Virgil.

Would the others notice, Virgil wondered.  Would they realize what he'd been asking for all day? 

Would they care?

Virgil didn't have long left to ponder that.

None of the sides were particularly happy to be called for an unscheduled meeting, all rather busy.  However they couldn't just ignore a summons from Thomas. Patton, Logan, and Roman appeared together and yet Thomas looked around desperately, like he was looking for something.

"Is everything alright kiddo?"  Patton frowned.

"You threw off my groove!"  Roman claimed.

"Where's Virgil?!"  Thomas asked, panicked.

"Why he's right-"  Logan cut himself off, turning to see Virgil's regular spot empty.  "That's odd." He frowned.

"Did something happen?"  Patton asked.

"I don't know!  He just, he popped in and he said he was proud of me and then he was just, gone!"  Thomas explained.

"But you clearly still have your anxiety."  Logan noted. "You acted rather different when you didn't."

"Then it can only be one thing!"  Roman declared. "Rise, you fiends!"  At his shout, Deceit and Remus find themselves appearing.

"Oh yes, this is exactly what I wanted to do today."  Deceit claimed, rolling his eyes.

"What did you do to him?!"  Roman demanded.

"Who? Jeffery Dahmer?"  Remus asked, tilting his head with a smirk.

"I believe he's asking if you've seen Virgil."  Logan clarified.

"Not at all."  Deceit huffed. "He certainly didn't try to trick me into 'hanging out' with him."

"Me too!"  Remus gasped.  "So I skewered him with thorns!"

"Remus!"  Patton exclaimed.

"Okay so I didn't skewer him."  Remus grumbled. "But I tried! And that's what counts!"

"Virgil must have been real desperate if he went to you two for company."  Roman muttered.

"He did ask if I could spend time with him, unfortunately I was busy with the schedule."  Logan said.

"He asked me too."  Patton realized.

"Geez, what would make our local loner desperate for company all of a sudden?"  Roman asked.

"His room."  Patton whispered.  He sunk out quickly.

"Patton?"  Thomas called, concerned.

"What about Virgil's room?"  Remus questioned. "Is it dirty?"  He smirked.

When Patton rose up a moment later, his face was seldom enough to put them all on edge.  He opened his mouth to say something but instead found tears filling his eyes.

"Patton?"  Logan pressed.

"It's, it's gone!"  Patton managed through tears.

"Guess you lot weren't good enough for perfect ol Virgy either."  Remus smirked.

"No." Logan said, understanding washing over him.  "If his room is gone that means… Virgil faded."

"What?  No, that's impossible!  Thomas still has anxiety!"  Roman argued.

"Thomas will always have anxiety.  However, he no longer needs Virgil to manage it."  Logan explained, shaking his head and trying to pretend his hands weren't shaking.

"I still need Virgil!"  Thomas argued. "We have to bring him back!"

"I'm sorry Thomas, you don't need him.  Subconsciously, you know that." Logan said.

"But we can bring him back, can't we?"  Roman asked.

"No."  Patton sobbed.  "We can't." A thunk cut into the sense of grief falling over the sides.  Turning, they saw Remus had fallen to his knees.

"I…"  Remus' voice was a whisper, quieter than any side had heard it.  "I didn't let him talk. He tried to talk to me."

"He wasn't lying." De said.  "He was trying to say goodbye."

"He isn't gone!"  Remus screamed. "Maybe he's just, he just moved back, yeah?  Let's go check De, I bet he's picking a movie for movie night!"  He decided.

"Remus."  Deceit tried but Remus was already gone, racing through the mindscape for a room that wasn't there anymore.  Patton sobbed louder to the side but Deceit barely heard him.

Virgil tried to say goodbye.

Deceit never let him.

He's not going to get a second chance.

Another thunk rang through the room.