#was it potentially linked to us bringing up our angst fest???

[whispcr]

"I can’t keep hurting you." [ cora ]

@parkingsonwrites​

The phantom pains continued to linger, shocking waves jolting his body. Sometimes, he swore he felt a leg twitch. But it was all in his head. What had once been his greatest tool was now his mightiest foe. A battle against his bed had been a war that Cole had never been able to conquer, much like the war that was being waged against the aliens that ravaged their planet. 

He’d willingly take mind-numbing anxiety attacks every day for the rest of his life if it could return the use of his legs. Being paralyzed would have been something he could have learned to cope with in the regular world, medicine and technology would have been able to grant him a high quality of life. 

But in the world they had now, he was just a burden, someone who was taking up a cot that could be used for someone that was wounded but had a chance to heal. He sat there, day in and day out, listening to the medics scramble to save lives and being there when they failed. 

The smell of sulfur from rotting intestines invaded his nostrils, a permanent fixture to what had become his daily life. 

Evangeline visited regularly, as did some of the members from is unit. There were times where he could even see a glimmer of hope, a spark of purpose. They would come to him when they had questions about the latest tech that they were developing, and he had a table set up next to him where he could work. These tasks were his saving grace, the thread he could grasp on days where he feared that his sanity was truly lost, just the latest casualty in this war. 

But the real loss had not been his legs nor his intellect. No, what had been robbed from him was something that was more precious, more valuable than either of those things: his relationship with Sara. 

He knew she blamed herself. He understood that since it had physically been her body that had been used as a vessel by the enemy that she felt responsible. 

She had lost confidence in herself, and Cole was not strong enough to support her. She had always been the one that was self-assured, ready to dive in headfirst, guns blazing. Cole was the one who was self-doubting. 

With their roles switched, Cole was at a loss. He could prepare himself for anything that came with a known variable, could decipher the hardest of equations and could hardwire pretty much any tech. 

He could not keep them afloat. If Cole was just an anchor tied around Sara’s ankle, if he was too much of a burden, then he would not protest. 

He would not let her continue to drown. 

“You know,” Cole swallowed, voice clogged, a vice grip of desolation wrapping about his neck. “George Eliot once proposed this question…” This is what Cole knew how to do. He knew how to soothe Sara with Bob Dylan songs and could talk her ear off about his favorite books. She knew well that George Eliot was his favorite author, and she was someone that Cole continued to idolize, her words providing him hope through the darkest of times.  “What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?”

That’s what he thought they did. Their bond, their reliance on each other, was what kept them afloat. They rowed through this storm together, synchronized over time. The boat they steared had been ravaged now. Maybe he had been wrong to think that they were indestructible. Maybe their structure was faulty, and they were sinking faster than the Titanic. 

“But if I…if I just make life more difficult for you, then you need to go.” His hand twitched, fingers curling into a fist. This was one more battle that he would fight.With what little power he had left.  “I get that. Because, Sara, you are hurting me.” The muscles of his lips trembled under the weight of the confession, blinking briny tears from bloodshot eyes. 

“Not because of this.” He waved his free hand towards his covered, unmoving legs. “Because since it happened, you have continually beaten yourself up. I’ve had to watch you, the few times you’ve stopped by, look at me with diverted eyes that are glazed over with shame and anguish. I’ve had to watch you harden with self-hatred over something that you had no control over. Do you know what that’s done to me, Sara, truthfully? It’s devastated me. I’m paralyzed. With grief. I lost you. You don’t…you don’t see more anymore.” His stomach churned, an ache that was boiling bubbling under his skin. 

She was the only one who ever had truly seen him. Not even his mother had seen him laid so bare, he’d always been so determined to hide his worst insecurities from her. 

His hand tightened around the sheets, pushing forward. “If I’m ever going to move on from this, if you’re ever going to move on from this, then you need to not see me as something that you broke. And if that’s the only way that you can see me now….then, yeah, you need to leave.”

[larenoz]

Roswell New Mexico Fic Rec List

For a show that’s only had 13 episodes so far, the Roswell New Mexico fandom has produced alot of great fics and media. My criteria for inclusion is simple - these are the fics I like and in most cases, have read multiple times. If a character or pairing doesn’t have a listing, it just means I haven’t found something I want to list, not that I don’t like, or object to that character, person or ship (but I will never link to character-bashing fics). This is an ongoing post that will be updated (as I need to go back and re-read a few potential additions so I can do the summary/comments). If you’ve got suggestions, hit me up via comments, DM’s, whatevs.

Ratings - I’m not putting ratings on - read the tags and ratings on the fics, people. But be warned alot of these are explicit.

Links - Where available I will be linking to content on AO3. If you’d like your tumblr name included, just let me know (I’m not always great at working out who’s who!). 

Status - All fics are complete unless marked as WIP except for series where it’s probably a mix of both complete and WIP.

Michael and Alex (Malex)

The Old Astronomer (series)  - beamirang (@beamirang) - A canon divergent monster (in terms of words) that you can really sink your death into. Alex has found some real family in the military who help him find more family outside it as well. 

This Slope is Treacherous - SuchASeeweedBrain - hockey AU - Alex is a young hockey star drafted to the NHL to a team populated by all our other favourites. A well written AU with a bit of angst. 

still got a lot of soul underneath my skin - frankchurchillsaysrelax (@frankichurchhillsaysrelax) - I love this fic so much. Kyle asks about Michaels hand. It’s a painful angst-fest that we all need.

Maria DeLuca: Bar owner, psychic and honorary relationship therapist -  littlecountrymouse (@littlecountrymouse) - I’m weak for a crying Michael. I’m weak for supportive Maria. I’d love a follow up (hint, hint).

Ad astra - beamirang (@beamirang) - WIP - Star Trek AU - this one is of to a very strong start. An under achieving Michael is recruited by an over achieving Alex for space based adventures. 

Space Opera AU (series) - beamirang (@beamirang) - WIP - The first part is - Home Fires - which looks like it’s going to be on the dark side. But this author has a great track record, so I’m including it here.

Satellite's Gone - Anonymous - (every fandom needs a proper anon) - This one is a bit different stylistically but a fantastic read. 

I just want you to know who I am -  littlecountrymouse (@littlecountrymouse) - Up front and honest, any fic that involves discussion of Alex not calling Michael by his first name and Michael getting emotional about it, is probably going to end up on this list. It just does something to me. Alex and Michael’s discussion post-alien revelation and fireside chat. 

tell me something good by Nanoochka (@nanoochka) - As soon as I saw this fic posted I totally squeed as this author is one of my all time favourites from another fandom. And they didn’t disappoint. Bar room hookup. Explicit.

Michael Guerin, Space Pirate - Enchantable (@planetsam​) - a The Martian AU - enjoyable retelling with our guys at the centre.

Hades & Persephone - Enchantable (@planetsam​) - I just find it very appropriate and good to read fan fics based on mythology. It just seams right. And this is a great retelling of one of my favourites. I won’t spoil whose who!

Michael, Alex and Kyle (Mylex)

open up my eager eyes (series) - haloud (@cosmicsolipsism) - The first two stories in this series (tuck my hair behind my ears and touch my soul and what yields the need for those who lead us ) are pretty much straight up PWP with D/s overtones. The third one -  a bookend to the weirdest of weeks - is a fantastic character study of Kyle Valenti (with some totally in context sex included).  Part one contains the best opening line in the fandom so far - “It starts at the Wild Pony, that breeding ground for bad ideas.”

Conversations in the Crashdown -  darkangel86 -  a bit of a talk fest but one where some very necessary things get said by all involved. No porn.

learning how to watch two points in space at the same time -   - flintsjohn (@flintsjohn) - Classic road trip of discovery for our three boys. 

practice - flintsjohn (@flintsjohn) - sequel to learning how to watch... - where our boys have many firsts and build their lives together. 

need - beejohnlocked - straight up PWP with a very toppy Alex in charge.

With A Little Help From My Friends - AndreaLyn - Alex and Michael start up a friends with benefits thing with Kyle.

A little more conversation - BeStillMySlashyHeart (@bestillmyslashyheart) - a series of connected ficlets that somehow ends up with multiple couples trying to bed Kyle Valenti. Gen (despite the topic).

Complicated - @aliencowboyqueen - a set of scenes which show a developing relationship between the three men. Light and fun.

“I think we should stop seeing each other” (@el-gilliath​) - Michael’s insecurity rears it’s head and Kyle and Alex have to communicate with him. Great characterisation, a bit of angst but a happy ending.

Liz, Max and Kyle (Kaliz)

Grounded - xForEverythingElse (PrimaryScavQueen) - Liz wants Kyle in the bed she shares with Max. Max will do anything for Liz. PWP.

Family Ties - laniew1 - WIP - 

True to Your Heart - islndgurl777 (@islndgurl777) - Liz brings up Kyle. Max has a discussion about sexuality with Michael. 

Lovefool - islndgurl777 (@islndgurl777) - Scenes of how their relationship might develop. 

Michael, Alex and Maria

was it all too much, or just not enough? - colfield (@colfields ) - Where Michael learns to trust, Alex learns to give up a little control and Maria is surprised. Explicit.

Fixing what went wrong - Clockwork - fluff and soft, drunk boys. 

Gen/Multi

give michael guerin a friend 2k19 (make that friend maria deluca) - islndgurl777 (@islndgurl777) - series of gen fics about the Roswell crew. Fairly angst free series of stories where Maria decides to be there as a friend for Michael. One of the best series in the fandom. 

Til The Night is Over -  Shenanigans (@ubiestcaelum) - WIP - Post-finale future fic - Max is dead, Rosa is alive and this is what might happen next. 

Project Orion (Series) - laniew1 - Complete and WIP - 

Gifs

@bisexualalienblast

@rawandmessyandbeautiful

Meta

@chasingshhadows - I don’t like to play favourites, but what can you do? My fav meta writer for this fandom. - Masterlist

@ober-affen-geil - Masterlist 

@vlamito

@hannah-writes

[tonystarkbingo]

TSB Round 6 Roundup - Weeks 7 and 8!

Thanks to all those that participated in our Discord Party over the weekend!  It was a fun time!

Collaborator : deehellcat Card Number: 6028 Square Filled: R1 - white lies Title: when god gave us mirrors he had no idea, chapter 2 Link: AO3 Pairings: pre-winteriron Word Count: 909 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: dementia Summary: Tony pays a visit, runs an errand, and crosses paths with a handsome stranger.

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Collaborator : deehellcat Card Number: 6028 Square Filled: S2 - dopplegangers/evil twins Title: when god gave us mirrors he had no idea, chapter 3 Link: AO3 Pairings: WinterIron Word Count: 906 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: na Summary: Tony finally connects with his mystery crush! They share a meal and get acquainted

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More under the cut!

Collaborator : Valorem Card Number: 6077 Square Filled: R4 - Angst Title: Stronger than all these Kings Link: AO3 Pairings: Namor/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Namor/T'Challa Word Count: 1433 Rating: Explicit Major Tags/Triggers: Hurt No Comfort, Painful Sex Summary: He wobbles the slightest amount when his feet touch the cold ground but by some miraculous feat of will doesn’t crumble to his knees immediately. Reluctantly, Namor is impressed. It took some measure of inborn class to fall apart so beautifully, so impenetrably.

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Collaborator : deehellcat Card Number: 6028 Square Filled: T2 - anticipation Title: when god gave us mirrors he had no idea, chapter 4 Link: AO3 Pairings: winteriron Word Count: 791 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: Pride Parades Summary: It's Pride Fest day, and Tony is eagerly looking for his new friend.

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Collaborator : deehellcat Card Number: 6028 Square Filled: S1 - get it over with' Title: when god gave us mirrors he had no idea, chapter 5 Link: AO3 Pairings: winteriron Word Count: 1089 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: Identity Reveal Summary: Just when Tony and Jim are getting on the same page, a shocking revelation changes everything. Can they reconnect?

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Collaborator : scottxlogan Card Number: 6038 Square Filled: T5 - "I Love You" Title: I Love You Link: AO3 Pairings: Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes Word Count: 2874 Rating: Mature Major Tags/Triggers: Love Confessions, Light Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Insecurity, Scars, Idiots in Love, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Insecure Tony, Declarations Of Love, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Jealousy Summary: In the aftermath of a disagreement, Tony rethinks his decision to tell Bucky to walk away when Tony realizes that what they've found in one another means more than hiding his heart from the hurt that opening it to love could potentially bring to his life.

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Collaborator : Archi Card Number: 6040 Square Filled: S5 - Spiderman Title: Swear I'm Gonna Make You Proud Link: AO3 Pairings: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Word Count: 2678 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Texting, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Basically Peter Gets Into MIT Summary: Congratulations! We are delighted to let you know that we have confirmed a place for you on a course at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology! We are looking forward to welcoming you to the MIT Family! He looks up at Steve and Tony. “I got in,” he says in disbelief, and they’re all smiling widely. Or: Peter gets into MIT

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Collaborator : SomeSortofItalianRoast Card Number: 6002 Square Filled: R5 - AU: Flower Shop Title: an admittedly wonderful bouquet for his partner Link: AO3 Pairings: Steve/bucky Word Count: 1494 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes Summary: It's a perfectly normal day Sarah's Flowers, the perfectly normal flower shop in the postcard perfect town of Evergreen, Colorado, run by Steve Rogers. Until Tony Stark wanders in.

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Collaborator : rebelmeg Card Number: 6001 Square Filled: R5 - robots Title: Bot Shaming - Part 10 Link: Tumblr Pairings: Tony & the Bots Word Count: N/A Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: social media post, bot shaming Summary: Another episode of bot shaming, this time featuring Rhodey and a broken toe.

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Collaborator : LBibliophile Card Number: 6068 Square Filled: R1 - [image] Avengers symbol Title: Coulson's Dream Team Link: Tumblr Pairings: Phil Coulson & Avengers team Word Count: 100 Rating: Gen Major Tags/Triggers: Phil Coulson Lives, Avengers Family, Drabble Summary: Agent Phil Coulson dreams of forming the Avengers. He dreams they could be more than just a team.