#was it perfect? no. but i'm delighted w the progress i made in my life

[transgenderboobs]

idk personally 2022 was a dope ass year. yes there were some horrors but those were all related to capitalism and that is not a year specific thing those are omnipresent so. cannot relate to the memes about burning the entire year or what have u

epic year honestly

[straighttohellbuddy]

HELLO SO THAT FIC U POSTED???? CHANGED ME FOREVER. I relate to that other anon deeply my brain chemistry will never be the same. it frankly hasn't been the same since the fic was just snippets you posted abt once in a while and now it's posted and it's A 25K DELIGHT AND I JUST---- *SCREAMS**SQUEALS**CRIES*

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW PRESENT IT'S BEEN IN MY MIND SINCE FOREVER KQMCLWKFS I'm dying. reader is great her thing with Wilbur is great I am screaming and crying and Oh My God thank u for sharing it w us I am. /SCREAMING./

no but genuinely I've been grinning and letting out like. fickin SQUEALS for over an hour kqmflsjxkalck like I'm so glad and happy I got to read it istg. u have SUCH a way with words?????? and characterisation??????? and like. developing relationships hello????????? I am in shambles. every once in a while I return to ur writing bc it's just So Good and now I got to do it thru this fic I've been excited for for the last????? TWO YEARS I THINK. idk how long it's been but it's been A WHILE so thank u thank u thank u thank u not only did it live up to my expectations it also absolutely went over them. thank u genuinely you've made my past two years pretty much. for the last however long there hasn't been a week in which I haven't thought abt reader and Q's interaction (the snippet of ‘this is how it started the last time’) for at least an hour straight genuinely like. and haVING CONTEXT??????

anyway basically this is like a huge thing for me and I just thought I'd tell u that😭💕 like I hope u know your writing has been v important to me for a while, from what you love you devour to like. everything kinda but wylyd just struck a chord w me if that makes sense lmao and like. I would've totally gotten it if you'd lost interest but I'm glad u didn't and decided to share that absolutely amazing fic💕💕

(*25K*!!!! oh my god!!!!! I wasn't before either, but now I will literally never stop thinking abt it)

((THE GHOSTBUR STUFF WAS SO SWEET)) ((and heartbreaking in the most PERFECT manner)) ((and don't get me STARTED on Dream. and Q. and WILBUR OH MY GOD WILBUR WILBUR WILBUR WILBUR-------))))))(and reader oh my god reader I will never shut up about reader)

I'm gonna rotate your message in my head like a microwave dish for the rest of my life I love you so much 💖💖💖 I've been meaning to answer this for days but I wanted to take the time to properly answer it because I'm going to ramble about this fuckin fic I hope you know!!

this fic means so so much to me and I'm so glad that I finally got it published, but also that I ended up publishing it like this, like I definitely could have added more but I think it would have ended up kind of bloated, and it's already such a huge fic 😅😅 the vignette style makes me feel like I'm getting snapshots of the important moments while still getting the sense of the reader having a life between scenes, and the rest of the dsmp plot still going on around them

I mean this so genuinely, WIPS are always In Progress, I never forget a fic, I still reread what I have of my Mafia!Corpse AU from 2019 and wonder what I should add next, same with the other like, 20 drafts I have. 😅😅 I hope they all get published eventually, but I feel very lucky to have come back to this and recognise that it's good enough to put out there ☺️☺️

but OKAY I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE READER'S RELATIONSHIPS WITH ALL THESE FUCKING CHARACTERS BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME YELL !! im making this into it's own post because i literally wrote so much just talking about the reader and dream and i have so much to say about them and Q and WILBUR and i'll tag u xx i LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I LOVE THIS FIC IT STILL MAKES ME FERAL

[whenyoulosesmallmind]

would you like to share some songs you associate with your favourite characters and why?

part one (you are here!) | part two

okay, anon, anon, my dear my lovely anon, you've gotta know that giving my most loved their own little soundtrack is one of my favourite things to do - so, buckle up! that said, since at the moment i have a huge transformers themed brainrot, this will be mostly in reference to my crack au in perpetual progress, but hold up for some unrelated special mentions! (i wanted to do them, but then it got too long, sorry ;w;)

let's start with an odd one: i first started plotting the au up with viva la vida on loop - not my usual kind of music and it doesn't have much to do anymore with the au per se, but it's a fun throwback

TARN, he's a fun one to pick music for, because in my mind he has a specific vibe that is a mix of an actually tragic character and the most stupidly comedic villain so his picks are all scattered over the place. anyway, he gets: 1. votre toast je peux vous le rendre (sang by a proper baritone this time!); obvious stand in for the empyrean suite is obvious, i love to imagine he'd listen to it and think he's cool like escamillo (bestie, you are josè at best <3), it plays right in into all of his delusions imho, 2. stars; people who pick the phantom of the opera as thee tarn theatre musical song i will personally fistfight you. THE lawful evil song - also tarn does parallel nice to javert, if you ask me, 3. tu grillo parlante; you're such a learned man / but that kind of violence / you so often speak of / we're feeling it deep inside / its sold in all the shops in the city / you should buy some, too / you'll see that you'll need it - local man preaches shit he's got all wrong, what will he do next? 4. video killed the radio star; man is so anchored to a vision of the world is blind to see how shit's changed, refuses to admits his own faults, 5. grace kelly/bathtube mermaid (i love both, i can't honestly choose); he’s worn himself so thin, a persona after the other, they’re all bleeding into each other - who are you, tarn, beside your desire to please? bonus track: Tarn & Kaon as il gatto e la volpe; second obligatory pinocchio reference but cmon: you won't regret it / we discover new talents and we're never wrong / we'll be able to make the most of your talents [...] you were so lucky to meet us / he's the cat and i'm the fox, we're a company (?) / you can trust us!, if nothing because imagining tarn and kaon as a couple of talent scouts of serial killers amuses me to no end. also it's nickel's nickname for them! except she's forgot it's the cat who's blind and the fox who’s got the limp, so she's got them switched out.

(i delight in thinking that, minus carmen's aria, tarn would absolutely loathe every song i picked for him btw)

meanwhile, DEATHSAURUS, he's a bit harder to choose for, he has less "screen"time in the comics, less fics and meta written about him, so i'm quite going more with my gut feelings and uh, mostly shit i’ve made up myself for his au version, that's it, i’m sorry. one thing i'll say, though, i think i read this fic (by warlordenfilade i think? i don't want to tag in case i'm wrong ;w;) where the author stated that deathsaurus' taste in music would probably be something like space nickleback and YES perfect headcanon, though i've cranked it up to space soad (who are actual soad, tbh, since. human au). this said, deathsaurus would probably like the picks i've got for him much more than tarn does since, musically speaking, i guess we're floating more or less on the same boat (by which i mean, it's absolutely nonsensical): 1. question!; this is more of an early life lingering feeling vibe that he's carrying on from being fresh off the MTO operating lab, seeing the war from the first time face on, raising the ladder to warwold commander and some of the insensitiveness (mental and physical both) he's developed through it. just. deathsaurus weird feelings time, 2. coming undone/right between the eyes; if i ever get to write the human au version of deathsaurus defecting this is going to be the soundtrack, full stop: the fed-upness, the rage, the blowup, it just fits in like a puzzle coming together (heh!), 3. falling away from me/lost in hollywood; if the songs from point two are the defection soundtrack these are the buildup: you’re trapped in a cicle of violence and the people who depend on you are all dying useless deaths, you have to break it but it is also the reality that you’ve known for all your life and shaped you as the person you are now, 4. i would for you; deathsaurus’ terminal “i can fix them” disease <3  bonus track(s): Deathsaurus/Esmeral as enter sandman; they became something horrible together, deathsaurus even has a couple of lines of the song tattoed on his ribcage - it used to be a favourite, you could even call it their own song. what has become of their relationship: should i stay or should i go? (and the obvious no children) Esmeral’s early pov on deathsaurus and tarn’s relationship would instead be something like somebody told me - because the army likes to gossip and i like some silliness in my drama. meanwhile, Deathsaurus’ early pov on tarn as a whole would probably be something like blame it on the girls and he would be right <3 ...and adding to the series of Nickel’s Nicknames, she calls deathsaurus capitan harlock mostly in reference to the italian version of the og opening, but the english one works as well, i suppose.

some misc: if you want to know what both NICKEL and KAON like to listen, put on some Raffaella Carrà; though nickel’s song is donatella or even lamette, tbh they’re both good for her. babylon gives me deathsaurus’ warworld vibes. i can’t point exactly out why; it’s not really in the lyrics. ride the lightning is how deathsaurus’ Thunder Arrow got its name. beside the note i made in the beginning, what actually kickstarted me to think of the whole djd as humans was this reinterpretation of un’emozione da poco (shrugs) and that’s why my version of human tarn looks a bit like Luca Marinelli ig.