#was how solid the message of 'youre not supposed to know the answer‚ howard is happy and thats what matters' was

[gibbearish]

found a clip! i did in fact misremember large parts of this so my apologies, differences of note:

- there are indeed a lot more jokes scattered through the whole thing and its not given near as much weight as i remembered, however i would argue that within the language of the show it is still given more than usual. like, the laugh track does at least. yknow. stop sometimes. which for this show is basically dead serious

- i stand by what i said about this being the only clever schrodinger's cat reference ive seen. bc like, while they do very much do Haha Weird Guy Say Big Words And Miss Social Cues about it, its also like, not just. a ghost cat. or a skeleton cat. or a zombie cat. or a quantum cat. or really just any kind of cat that is in some way both alive and dead at the same time, or perhaps in a box of some sort. i dont think anyone even said the word cat, just that technobabble about quantum physics. they took the concept behind schrodinger's cat, did something interesting with it, and trusted the audience to be familiar with what theyre referring to. its a refreshing change in a sea of undead cats, even with the bits i mentally blocked out added back in.

- that being said, one of the bits i appear to have blocked out is how annoying sheldon is here, and i am going to continue doing so. #choose ignorance

- there werent really "negative" versions of the letter, theyre all bittersweet, some just lean more bitter than sweet.

that all being said, i think it does still hold up well enough for what i said to continue standing. specifically, howard directly says at the end of the scene that he doesn't want to know which one is the truth because he wants them all to be true. hey, remember that thing i said about the audience being left wanting while howard is happy not knowing? anyways, totally unrelated, when i went to go find this clip, the very first link i got was to a reddit post being like look if you zoom in on the letter in previous scenes you can read it!! we solved which version is true!!!!!

left wanting indeed, it seems.

i hate that the big bang theory has so much potential. like there are some really good moments and jokes buried in there but you have to sift through So much shit to actually get to it

[onlysarah235678]

A Little Bit Part 7

Pairing: Billie Dean Howard x female reader

A/N: This was supposed to be one-shot when I started, but here’s part 7 and we’re probably a little more than halfway to the finish line? Not quite sure, but here it is. There’s less angst in this one, but I’ll let you be the judge of that. Thank you to the lovely illuminated-blue for the beautiful gif. :)

Warnings: angst, kittens and a little bit of steaminess?

Returning to work on Tuesday had been a little weird for you. Not only were you reminded that everyone you worked with probably knew that you were dating Billie Dean, but you weren’t able to shake what Billie had told you about your dad.

It was a little unsettling to think about how he hadn’t moved on yet. It was also upsetting because you wanted your dad to find peace, but knowing that you were the reason why this wasn’t happening made you feel guilty. You hadn’t gathered the courage to talk to Billie more about him despite talking to her daily, and you just couldn’t shake the anxiousness and disappointment you felt while at work.

It was Thursday morning and you’d already had to tell reception twice to just hang up on any reporters who called. It was getting to be a lot and you had no idea why people wanted to talk to you so badly. You didn’t have anything to say, and you would have thought they’d take the hint by now.

Unfortunately, this was not the case, and you had to dodge Erin’s questions while trying not to notice how she was scouring the tabloids for information about you and Billie. It was distracting to say the least, so you were grateful that your busy schedule and other worries kept you preoccupied.

After finishing your last appointment before lunch, a final puppy visit that was mostly just fawning over a cute dog, you retreat to your office for a break. You have a few records to finish that you didn’t get to this morning, but you check your phone first to see if Billie texted you back. She’d been worried this morning when Mickey had been stumbling a lot when she woke up. He’d been struggling to walk and she’d called you to ask for your opinion. Given that she had an appointment scheduled for them all tomorrow, you told her to watch him and keep you updated.

She’d sent you a video, and as you watch it you get a little more concerned. At almost 4 weeks old they were moving around more, but still not really walking. The others in Bit’s litter were more active than Mickey, which wasn’t a surprise, but it seemed like Mickey had slowed down a little which wasn’t good.

You check your schedule for this afternoon before realizing that you didn’t really have time to see him today. You’re afraid that its related to his fall but you decide that it can wait until tomorrow unless he gets worse. You put your phone down after you send the message and get to work on records while you have some time.

It’s about 15 minutes later when Billie sends you another video of Mickey that changes your mind. You make sure that someone will be available and willing to help you before you tell Billie to have Heather bring them in. May as well see them all today if Heather has to bring Mickey.

“Hey Erin, are you in the mood to see kittens?”

The brunette turns toward you, holding half of a sandwich as she shoots you a questioning look.

“What kind of kittens?”

You smile before mentioning that they are Billie’s and you watch as Erin shoves the rest of her sandwich in her mouth somehow before jumping up. She runs to get ready and you just roll your eyes before telling her that you’ll be in pharmacy. You need to attach those videos to Mickey’s record anyway.

20 minutes later you are still sitting in pharmacy approving prescription requests when Erin returns. She seems more excited than you think she’d be, but you don’t get to ask before she’s practically squealing.

“You didn’t say that it would be her today!”

You’re a little confused but it only takes the sound of a familiar voice for you to understand Erin’s excitement.

“Hi, I’m here to see Dr. Y/L/N.”

A couple of minutes later, Billie was in an exam room with you and Erin trying to wrangle all of the kittens. You were mostly focused on Mickey at least for the time being as you set him down on the table and tried to get him to walk.

“Did you work from home today?”

You ask this as you examine Mickey, so you miss Billie’s brief glance to Erin who’s getting weights on the other six cats in the room. She eventually nods before deciding to go with an easy answer.

“After how he was acting this morning, I just didn’t feel like I should leave him. I’ll pay for that tomorrow though.”

You smile sympathetically as you meet her gaze before looking back to Mickey who mewls when you press on one of his legs.

“Sorry. Not your idea of a good time?”

You don’t mean it to come off as flirting, but Billie’s look indicates that she definitely took it that way. You miss the look though since you’re busy focusing on Mickey’s little legs, but Erin notices. She’d looked up in surprise at your words and immediately turned to Billie Dean to see how she reacts. She has to tamp down the urge to smile widely at the look on the medium’s face.

You were in for it later.

Instead of saying anything like this; however, Billie just shrugs before shaking her head. You are only half listening because you’re almost certain you figured out what’s going on with Mickey.

“Not quite.”

Billie watches as you nod before frowning slightly as you scratch Mickey’s ears a little. You ask a few questions about how the kittens act at home. You wonder if they rough house at all or if Bit is rough with them. Specifically Mickey. Billie says that she hasn’t noticed any of this behavior, but that Mickey occasionally found his way at the bottom of a kitten pile.

You decide that since Mickey is back spending most of his time with his siblings that they just need to keep a closer eye on him. You mention that he may have hurt his leg a little from something that happened at home. It wasn’t serious enough for x-rays but that he should be monitored for the next few days. Additionally, you were going to send home some pain medication that he’d take for the next few days. You asked Erin to go grab it while you dewormed all of the kittens. They were still too young for vaccines, but they’d come back in a couple of weeks for those.

You were glad that Billie had gotten them all colored collars because trying to keep track of which kitten was which was a pain in the ass. The only one who could easily be identified was Mickey because he was still the smallest and he had a little kink in his tail at the end.

You broke up the little tablet of dewormer and covered it in baby food for Mickey. While Mickey ate you look to Billie again with a frown.

“I’m sorry your day has been so stressful.”

Billie just sighed before taking Mickey once he was finished with his dewormer. He seemed really hungry and you’d ask about that in a second, but for now you just took a second to admire the sight of Billie Dean holding him. You watched as Mickey tried to bite one of the rings on Billie’s finger before her voice brought your attention back to her.

“It’s alright, it’s not your fault. You’re the only thing so far that’s made it any better.”

You smile at this while reaching down for the next kitten to hide your blush. You hear the door open behind you and you know that Erin’s back with Mickey’s meds so any more flirting will have to wait until later.

“Glad to hear it.”  

Once all of the kittens were dewormed and you went over how to give Mickey the medication it was just you and Billie again. Erin had reminded you that Milo still hadn’t gone out since lunch started, and luckily, she volunteered to let him out so you could keep talking to Billie.

You went over a lot of kitten things that were just around the corner, if not already happening. You mentioned how they would transition to solid food soon and how she would need to use formula for this. Most of this you wrote down so Billie could reference it later. This was a lot of information that you didn’t really expect anyone to remember.

You are distracted during your conversation about litter when you see Milo out running in the yard. He looks around before coming right up to the window. He jumps on it once before he sits and just stares at you. You are grateful that someone outside throws a tennis ball and Milo goes running off. You finish going over the important points for using litter with the kittens.

You straighten the sheets of paper you’d written on before handing them to Billie. You realize how much you’d talked and you apologize while watching Billie fold them neatly and place them in her purse.

“I’m sorry. That was a lot I just threw at you.”

Billie laughs before shaking her head. She looks to Bit who is still wandering around the room while everyone else is already back in their carrier. You go to grab her, but she hisses at you and runs away. You sigh as Billie rolls her eyes at her no-good cat.

“Don’t be. It’s going to be a huge help.”

You smile as you nod and finally manage to wrangle Bit into the carrier. You’re now on Billie’s side of the room, but you don’t hurry back as you stand up straight and take this chance to really look at Billie.

You knew by now that the woman always looked good, but there were some outfits that you liked on her more than others. Not that you didn’t appreciate them all. Today, Billie was wearing more casual clothing probably because she had just been at home, and you were finding it hard not to reach out and touch.

It was almost as if Billie had read your mind because she smiled before reaching out for you. She stopped short before she let her fingers slide along the fabric of your coat. Her smile turned into a smirk as she met your gaze with a teasing look.

“You really do look good in this.”

You breathe out a laugh before shooting back an equally teasing look. Unfortunately, you aren’t as good at this as Billie. Not that you’re surprised.

“Yeah? I almost forgot how you liked a woman in uniform.”

Billie just chuckles under her breath before she shakes her head. You’re not sure what she disagrees with, but she doesn’t make you wait long to find out.

“Not as much as I’d like to see her out of it.”

You blush so hard Billie can practically feel the heat radiating off of your cheeks. You lean back a little but don’t move too far as you laugh at your own stupidity. You run a hand through your hair before smiling back at the grinning medium.

“I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

Billie just laughs before nodding in agreement. You definitely had. Not that she was complaining. She loved flirting with you and seeing you blush. It just made her go a little crazy seeing it without being able to respond the way she wanted to. Each time she saw your face flush, it just made her want to see what else she could do to make that happen.

Instead, since they are standing in the building that you work in, and not at either of their homes, Billie just sighs and moves away from you.

Or at least she tries to.

She drops her hands from your coat only to have you reach out for her. Your hands go to her hip and to play with her hair as you shoot her a smile.

“Just one? A quick one.”

Billie only has to smile for you to get the point, and you’re quick to kiss her. You pull her closer before groaning as the medium bites you bottom lip before soothing it with her tongue. You don’t resist as she grabs you again and backs you up into the wall. You let Billie take the lead as she slides her tongue past your lips and into your mouth. Your grip on her hip tightens and you moan as Billie’s tongue meets yours. She kisses you like you’ll be caught any minute, and you’d worry about that if you could focus on anything other than Billie Dean.

Billie Dean’s mouth against yours. Her hand fisting the fabric of your coat. The smell of her familiar intoxicating perfume.

All of this and the fact you’re still at work, technically on the clock makes the heat in the pit of your stomach flare and you kiss her harder.

You’re panting by the time Billie pulls away from you, and you don’t even have the energy to be embarrassed or annoyed by her smug smirk. Instead you just lean against the wall staring at her with wide, dazed eyes. Billie merely smooths the lapels of your coat absentmindedly as she shoots you a look that makes you want to give it all up.

You’re not exactly sure what that means, but you know in that moment that if Billie asked you to do it, you would. Without hesitation.

“Was that one?”

You don’t really register the question because your body is still trying to recover. You take a deep breath before blinking a few times to try and ground yourself. When your brain finally processes the words, it still takes your mouth a couple of seconds to form a response. You nod before attempting to stand up straight. You don’t really manage it.

“Yeah. I guess.”

Billie smiles unable to hide how her effect on you makes her feel. She’s always been the one to initiate things in her relationships because she loves to watch people squirm.  Having you respond so well to her made Billie want to do all sorts of things to you, and she would. Just not here.

She moves back toward you, reaching out, but not touching you. Instead, she plants her hands against the wall on either side of your head as she meets your slightly bewildered gaze.

“So we’re done then?”

You don’t respond immediately, but all you can think about is how you really don’t want to be done. You have maybe a half hour left of lunch before you have appointments. You couldn’t care less about that right now though and you shake your head before you’ve really thought it through.

“Maybe one more.”

Billie smirks at you. One of her hands moves to brush against your cheek and you can’t help how you lean into it slightly. She definitely notices and leans back in to kiss you again.

“Good girl.”

You feel your heart jump in your chest and your breath hitch as Billie’s words hit your ears. Your head swims and you may groan as you let Billie pull you against her. Suddenly nothing seemed to matter. Remembering to breathe wasn’t important to you in that moment. Not compared to doing exactly what Billie told you to. You felt a chill run up your spine when Billie’s hands snuck under your shirt.

You gasp into her mouth before she breaks away to kiss down your neck. You would be embarrassed by the whine that leaves you if you weren’t so turned on. You crave Billie’s touch and just knowing that it was so close, but that it wouldn’t go further while you were here was torture.

You might hear Milo bark from outside, but you aren’t sure. You don’t dare move away to check and instead you hiss under your breath as Billie’s fingernails drag across sensitive skin.

“Oh fuck.”

Suddenly Billie’s hands are gone and her lips are no longer on your neck. You almost fall you’re so unsteady as Billie moves away from you without warning. You frown until you hear a knock on the door a moment later. You don’t have time to wonder how Billie had heard them before the door’s opening.

You’re equally disappointed and relieved that Billie managed to be on the other side of the room by the time Erin stuck her head inside.

"Dr. Y/L/N. You have a phone call from the emergency hospital.”

You nod before thanking Erin and telling her you’ll be right there. You suppose it’s for the best, but you can’t help but loathe whoever it is who decided to call you right now. You sigh as you look to Billie who’s moving toward you with a smile. She reaches out to straighten your hair before biting her lip to hold back a laugh.

“Duty calls?”

You nod before looking to the carrier full of cats that you’d completely forgotten about. You take a deep breath before closing your eyes. You need to calm down and get back to work. This must be why no one has make out sessions at work. It completely ruins your concentration.

“Looks like it. You’ll let me know if you have any questions?”

Billie Dean nodded before she leaned over to grab the carrier. Bit meowed while the kittens snored away and you smiled as Billie reached for the doorknob on the other side of the room.

“Of course. Thank you for seeing us so last minute.”

You smile before holding the door open for Billie so she could use both hands to get the carrier through without hitting the door frame.

“I’ll talk to you later then.”

Billie nodded before she promised to call you tonight. You lean in quickly to plant a brief kiss on her lips before waving goodbye to the kittens.

“See you next time, kittens.”

Billie looks like she wants to say something but instead she just nods before taking a couple of steps away. She turns to leave and you do too before Billie’s voice draws your attention back to her.

“Oh and Dr. Y/L/N?”

You ignore how her saying your name like that makes you feel as you shoot her a smile. “Yes, Ms. Howard?”

She smiles widely at this but doesn’t comment as she looks around her briefly before speaking.

“Make sure to wear your hair down for the rest of the day.”  

Billie only has time to see you reach for your neck before she’s heading for the front desk. She has a feeling she’ll pay for that later, but she’s hoping it will be worth it. She loves having something to look forward to.

Erin had been working as an assistant for a few years. Since graduating from undergrad and wanting to gain experience before applying to veterinary school, she’s enjoyed most every minute that she’d worked at this hospital.

She’d seen a lot of assistants come and go, some she liked, some she didn’t. The doctors were all the same since she started except for the newest addition to the team. You had joined right after the hospital had finished construction to add more exam rooms. It was one of the larger practices around and they saw close to 50,000 clients, so they were always busy. There was never a dull moment, so Erin had learned to take advantage of the scant down time that she had at work.

She had finished putting in the charges for you and now she was just waiting around in pharmacy. A couple other assistants were sitting outside for lunch and had offered to watch Milo, so Erin didn’t have anything to do. She doubted that you needed anything else, but she wanted to be around in case you did, so she sat at the computer closest to where you were still talking to Billie about the kittens.

At least that’s what she thought you were talking about.

At some point she hears something that could definitely be considered flirting and Erin blushes slightly. She hadn’t gotten confirmation from you about your relationship with Billie Dean, but no confirmation was confirmation enough honestly. She’d read a few things written by reporters who speculated wildly despite only have minimal evidence.

Erin didn’t really care either way, well that wasn’t true. She would be thrilled because she was a huge fan of Billie’s but it wouldn’t really change anything for her. She might ask for an autograph but other than that she wouldn’t do anything different. She liked working with you and even though she was pretty sure you were making out with Billie Dean Howard behind closed doors, she didn’t see this changing.

Erin was relieved when the phone rang and she hurried to answer it. She wasn’t as excited about having to interrupt whatever it was you were doing, but the emergency hospital had a question about a mutual patient. When you finally came to pick up the phone, you were a little more put together than when she’d come knocking. Erin pretended not to notice and decided to go check on Milo.

Milo’s head turned at the sound of the door opening and another person coming outside. He ran over to her, tennis ball in his mouth before sitting down with a whine. He dropped it in front of her expecting her to pick it up and throw it again. Luckily for him, Erin did and he took off across the yard for it.

Erin sighed as she sat down next to the other two assistants who weren’t her favorite. She got along with them fine, but they had different views and opinions on certain people that made being anything other than  coworkers unlikely.

“How was the famous Billie Dean?”

Erin looked back toward Milo so they wouldn’t see her roll her eyes as she shrugged. She mentioned how the appointment was pretty standard. The only thing out of the norm was Mickey being a little lame. Erin didn’t notice either of them nod or exchange a look as she threw the ball again for Milo. He took off, nearly falling in his rush to follow the ball, and Erin had to stifle a laugh as he tripped up.

“Did you get an autograph? I’m sure Dr. Y/L/N wouldn’t mind.”

At this Erin turns to the pair so they can see her glare and her huff of annoyance. They weren’t exactly subtle with their jealousy, but she didn’t want to get in the middle of that.

“No, that would have been weird.”

Neither of them gets a chance to respond to this before one of the kennel staff comes out and says that they need to walk a dog aggressive-dog. Erin takes that as her opportunity to leave, and she calls Milo over before taking him back inside. She doesn’t look back as she leads the shepherd into the building and back to his kennel. Afternoon appointments were going to start showing up any minute.

It’s almost 6:30 when Erin has to talk to either of those assistants again. She needed help getting samples on a cat at the end of the day. It’s actually past closing time, but this cat is sick and Dr. Hahn wanted bloodwork on it. It’s a very angry cat and it takes three assistants to restrain it and draw blood.

You are finished working for today and on your way downstairs when you hear the angry yowl. You decide to go around treatment to get to Milo and not get in the middle of whatever is going on.  You grab Milo and sneak out to the parking lot. It’s dark already and you sigh as you buckle Milo in the back seat and get in. You stifle a yawn as you start the drive home, but you only make it half way there before your phone dings. You ignore it for now because it’s just a text message, and you still suck at driving in LA.

You make it home and take Milo on a quick walk before heading upstairs. You drop your things by the door, not caring about the mess before you head to the kitchen for dinner. Milo’s already fed so you let him go off on his own for a while as you figure out what to eat.

You pull your phone out of your pocket before looking at the message Billie sent. Of course it was Billie. You’re smiling before you can stop yourself, and it only grows when you see it’s a picture of Mickey. His body is scrunched up and he’s got the most disgusted look on his face.

He doesn’t like his medicine.

You laugh as you respond while trying to pull things out of the fridge. You nearly drop something, but you catch it last minute before you place it all on the counter. Milo appears behind you and you nearly trip on him as you turn suddenly to grab a pan.

“Jeez, Milo watch out!”

Your dog just pants happily as he follows you around while you cook. You ignore him for the most part as he eventually sits down while you stand at the stove. You yawn again before jumping at the sound of your phone buzzing again. It nearly falls off the counter, but you grab it just in time to see another couple of messages from Billie.

How was the rest of your day?

I hope you kept your hair down

Just like that you felt your face flush. You cursed Billie’s ability to have this effect on you when she wasn’t even here as you sighed in defeat. Surprisingly you’d managed to focus for the rest of the day on work and not think about what you and Billie had done earlier today. Of course now that you were home alone you could easily feel yourself getting hot just thinking about it.

You shake your head before you drop food on the ground without realizing it. You’re glad that it’s not something toxic to Milo because he dives for it before you even turn to see what it was. You just sigh before going back to your food and trying not to think too much into this.

I think I did, not that it mattered. Erin definitely knows what happened.

Billie looked at this message, laughing as she pictured the look on the assistant’s face as she came into the exam room. She definitely had.

Billie lights another cigarette as she thinks about how to respond to this. She honestly didn’t care if anyone knew about them at this point. With all of the stories in the tabloids, what was really the point of hiding it? Maybe you weren’t ready to go public. She’d understand that and wait as long as you needed. However, if you were okay with telling people, maybe they should do that sooner rather than later.

That didn’t mean that they should make out at your work again though.

Billie decided to bring this up the next time she saw you. Considering the fact that she didn’t get a lot of work done today, she wasn’t sure if she’d have time to see you tomorrow. She’d like to because well to be honest the tension between the two of you was driving her up the wall. She took a drag before deciding that she was going to make it work. It was going to be Friday after all. She was going to work hard and then have some time to relax. If you were available and willing of course.

Once you’re finished making your dinner you call Billie to check on Mickey. Also to just talk to her, but Mickey’s a good excuse. For some reason you feel like you needed one.

“So you never told me how the rest of your day was.”

You smile as you tell her about how it wasn’t that eventful. You didn’t get home until just now and you were exhausted. You had to work tomorrow and this weekend and you were really not looking forward to it. Mostly because you wanted to spend more time with Milo and Billie, but you weren’t going to say that now.

“How about you? Did you manage to get anything done, or were you worried about Mickey?”

Billie Dean sighs as she puts out her cigarette. She hears Bit coming down the stairs and has a feeling she needs to go check on the kittens. She stands up and starts to walk up the stairs as she replies with a shake of her head.

“No, unfortunately. I tried to, but he kept distracting me. He seems to be better though.”

You smile at this news as you shoot Milo a warning look. He can’t get on the couch while you’re eating or else he will be the one eating and you’ll be tackling him to the ground to get your fork out of his mouth. He’s eaten far too many plastic utensils for you to be lenient with him now.  

“That’s good at least. Are you going to check on them now?”

You could hear the sound of Billie’s heels on the stairs, but you were only really guessing. She smiled as she reached the top and headed toward the laundry room. She heard quiet mewls and arrived to see a pile of kittens wiggling around in their bed.

“Yes, Bit just came downstairs and Mickey’s at the bottom of the pile. Dammit.”

You try not to laugh because this is a bad thing, but hearing Billie curse and sigh in annoyance as she probably moves to rescue Mickey is something you wish you could see. You wait patiently as you hear little mewls and chitters from the kittens as they’re disturbed. You take this opportunity to finish eating and you put the phone on the table in front of you with another yawn.

“Are you tired?”

You start slightly wondering how Billie heard you before shaking your head. You realize she can’t see you and you hurry to pick up your phone, abandoning your plate on the table. Milo looks to it, but you don’t notice as you respond to Billie.

“A little. It was a long day.”

Billie hums in acknowledgement as she grabs Mickey and takes him back downstairs just as Bit is returning. She shoots her a glare muttering a dirty word under her breath before leaving the laundry room. She hears you laugh, but decided to go back to what you were talking about.

“It wasn’t all bad though?”

Billie had only really been asking about after she left. She was genuinely curious about your day, but when she hears you laugh, she realized what her question sounded like.

“Not at all. I had a very nice lunch.”

You lean back against the couch again and look up at the ceiling as you consider what you’re doing. You’re sure that if you don’t have Billie’s hands on you again soon you’ll go crazy. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, but as quietly as you can.

“Is that right?”

You have to resist the urge to smile as you hear Billie’s teasing voice come through the phone. You can’t for the life of you remember what you ate for lunch, but that wasn’t the nice part of it and you both know it.

“Definitely, but then someone came in with her kittens and interrupted it.”

You bite your lip to stop from laughing. You can practically see the look of astonishment on Billie’s face and you can’t wait to see it in person. You hear Billie take a deep breath, maybe she’s smoking, you can’t tell before she speaks.

“Be careful, Y/N. You don’t want to say something you’ll regret.”

You can only smile because despite the chill that runs up your spine, it’s much less intimidating to be on the phone with Billie talking like this. If she was in front of you, you were convinced you’d already be on your knees. You try not to think about that too much before you simply try your luck. You’re feeling a little braver than usual, and it shows when you chuckle under your breath instead of apologizing immediately.

“Is that right?”

You mimic her words feeling a rush of adrenaline wash over you as you open your eyes again. You don’t have to wait but for a second before Billie’s laughing as well, but it’s not teasing like yours. It sounds more threatening and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t making you shiver in the best of ways.

“Just wait until I get my hands on you again. You won’t be laughing then, sweetheart.”

You suck in a breath as you sit up suddenly. You shift in your seat as you prepare to respond, but you stop cold when the sight in front of you registers.

“No! Bad Milo! Drop it!”

Milo was trying to sneak the rest of your dinner while you weren’t paying attention, but you don’t realize it until he’s hovering over your plate. You reach out for it only for him to get there first and knock it off the table in his rush to get the food. The plate crashes to the ground spilling food all over the place and you yell again when Milo just runs off with whatever he managed to get.

“Milo! You little shit!”

You groan as you look to the mess that he left before getting on your knees to clean it up. You are reaching for the plate when you hear Billie’s voice from somewhere. Where did your phone go?

“Is everything okay, Y/N? What’s going on?”

You sigh as you reach in between the couch cushions for your phone before putting it to your ear with a huff of annoyance.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Milo just stole food and made a mess.”

You start to clean again, your phone pressed between your ear and shoulder. You decide to try and pretend like the interruption didn’t happen as you speak up with a smile.

“That sounds like an invitation by the way.”

Billie’s laughing at your persistence or rather your dedication to getting what you want. What you both want. She reaches for her drink since she can’t smoke right now and takes a long sip to buy time. Or increase the tension. She’s honestly not sure which any more.

“It was, if you’re interested.”

You nearly laugh but instead just drop what’s in your hands on the table in front of you before grabbing your phone. You’ll deal with Milo and his mess later. For now, you have plans to make.

“Always. Your place or mine?”

Part 8

[imjustthemechanic]

The Price of a Soul

Part 1/? - Agent Russel Part 2/? - The Letter Part 3/? - Miss Lake Part 4/? - The Stewardess Part 5/? - An Assassination Part 6/? - Fallout Part 7/? - Face to Face Part 8/? - Deals, Details, and Other Devils Part 9/? - Baggage Part 10/? - Private Funding Part 11/? - Just Passing Through Part 12/? - Party of Four Part 13/? - Resolute Part 14/? - The Wreck Part 15/? - Body Snatchers Part 16/? - Out of the Frying Pan Part 17/? - A Miracle Part 18/? - A Matter of Circumstance

A chapter for anybody who’s been wondering just what Lake’s deal is.

-

It was dark by now.  Peggy headed out on the deck, and got a blast of icy-cold air in the face. They were moving west, back towards American waters, and it made Peggy wonder if the Canadians even knew they were up here.  In the darkness and wind there was nobody else on deck except the essential staff. All she had to do was find somewhere sheltered.

The wind was from the west, so Peggy went around behind the ship’s superstructure.  One of the lifeboats was in need of repairs and had been lashed to the deck there, keel-up, so men could work on it.  Between it and the superstructure was a nice little triangle that was out of the wind and away from prying eyes.  With the ship and the sea drown out the noise, Peggy leaned against the wall and bawled.

Steve was alive!  He was alive and awake and solid and real.  All this time Peggy had been mourning his loss, trying to get over this beautiful brave fool of a man she’d once hoped to build a life with, he’d been up there in the ice waiting to be found!  The moment she’d seen his eyes open, all the work she’d put into moving on had been utterly wasted because there he was.  She was overjoyed at the same time as… what was she going to do?

Peggy loved Daniel.  He understood her.  Their relationship was based on working together in peacetime on a very different set of problems… that was something she would have had to build from the ground up with Steve and three years ago she’d been ready to do it, even looking forward to it, but now?  Steve didn’t even know the time had passed.  He might think they could still make their date at the Stork Club. Somebody was probably telling him about it right now.  What would he think?  Would he wonder why Peggy hadn’t told him herself?

Was she going to have to break his heart?  Was she going to have to break Daniel’s? What about her own?  And was she really so bloody selfish that at a time when Steve’s return was going to mean so much to so many people, people like Daniel and Lieutenant Harbottle who’d never felt they got to properly thank him, she was thinking about this?

The answer to that last question was yes.  Yes, she absolutely was, damn her.

Hot tears slid down her face and froze to her cheeks, and her sobs mixed with the arctic wind and flew away across the sea on it. For what seemed like half the night, she felt like she might never be able to stop.  Her head began to ache, her nose ran, her throat went sore… Steve was in there waiting for her to come back and she was going to look the ugliest she had in her life…

Then, at last, she ran out of tears.  For a moment she stayed perfectly still, just listening to the wind… and then she heard the sound of somebody singing.

Perhaps she’d imagined it.  Over the creak of the ship and the sound of her own shuddering breaths, how could Peggy have heard anything else?  But there it was again, and after a moment of straining her ears, she realized it was coming from underneath the upturned lifeboat.  She knelt down for a look.  It was very dark under the boat, but once her eyes adjusted, she made out the shape of a woman lying on the deck, curled around a life vest she had clutched to her middle and singing softly to herself.

“And if I’m flying solo, at least I’m flying free,” she sang, slow and shaky.  Peggy did not know the song, but she could tell it was off-key.  “To those who’d ground me, take a message back for me…”

“Kay?” Peggy asked.

Kay opened her eyes.  They were red-rimmed, and her cheeks were stained with tears.

“Are you all right?” Peggy wanted to know.

“I’m fine,” said Kay hoarsely.

“No, you aren’t,” said Peggy.

“If you already knew that, then why did you ask?” Kay rolled over to face away from her.

Peggy spent a moment wondering if she ought to say something more, then decided no.  She’d never gotten a straight answer from Kay yet, and this was not the time to try. She should go in and wash her face, and see if she could talk to Steve without bursting into tears all over again. Peggy stood up.

“Don’t go,” said Kay.

Peggy knelt down again.  “Why not?” she asked.

Kay was still lying with her back to Peggy, and did not move to change that.  “Life’s not fair,” she said.

“No.  No, it’s not,” Peggy agreed.  It never was.

“Have you ever noticed that nobody ever says that like it’s a bad thing?” Kay asked.  She sniffled, and Peggy saw an arm move to wipe her nose on her sleeve.  “It’s just the way it is.  We’re not supposed to try to change it.”

“Yes.  The people who say life’s not fair are the ones who have some advantage they want to press,” Peggy agreed.  “Whether it’s a parent to a child, a boss to an employee, or…” she could think of other examples, but they hit a little too close to home.  “Or Steve’s lady friend, talking to the woman who risked her life for him even though he doesn’t even know who she is?”

This time, Kay did roll over.  “Who do you think I am, Peggy?” she asked.

Peggy’s heart started beating a little faster. For all she’d just had a very personal breakdown, there was enough professional left in her to know that this might be her only chance to learn something very important.  She was not sure how she felt about Kay – they certainly weren’t friends, but after what had happened today, could they really be enemies anymore? – but she could use this emotional moment to get some kind of truth from her.  The question was whether she would hate herself for it later.

“Can we talk about this indoors?” Peggy asked.

Kay uncurled a little from the life vest she’d been crying into, but she did so in defeat, not because she wanted to open up.  “You want me somewhere you can record me.”

“No,” Peggy backtracked.  “I want you somewhere we can both wash our faces and have something hot to drink, because we’re cried out and it’s brass monkeys out here.”

“It’s okay.  I’d do the same thing,” said Kay.

She squirmed out from under the boat and Peggy helped her stand, and they both stumbled back inside and found a washroom.  On a navy ship all of these, except the one for the nurses, were supposed to be men only, but most of the sailors who came in and saw the two of them washing up just turned around and left again – and the ones who stayed politely decided to use the stalls.  Peggy and Kay were still red-eyed and miserable as they went to the mess hall, but Peggy at least felt a little more presentable.  She got them each a mug of tea, and they went to a little table in the corner, far from anyone else present at this hour.

By the time they got there, she had settled on how she was going to answer Kay’s question.  Peggy gave the other woman her tea, and then said, “I think you definitely came from the same place as Olga Barynova,” she said, “and I think you may have been telling the truth when you said they sent you here to find her.  But I also think you have your own agenda, which your superiors may not approve of.  What that has to do with Steve I’m not sure.”

Kay shook her head.  “Nobody sent me.  I came here on my own.  I…” she took a deep breath.  “I knew you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so I thought I’d let you figure it out on your own, but I don’t care anymore.  I’m a time traveler.  I’m from the future.  I’m here to fix it.”

That was not an answer Peggy had been prepared for, and her instinctive reaction was that it had to be nonsense.  Yet… hadn’t she seen stranger things?  She’d seen tiny Steve Rogers transformed into Captain America.  She’d seen the awesome technology of the Valkyrie, a plane the size of this aircraft carrier roaring into the sky as if it weighed nothing at all.  She’d seen the unbelievable power of the tesseract, the bizarre properties of the Zero Matter, and the corpse of a giant her superiors thought must have come from outer space.  Who was Peggy Carter to say that time travel was impossible?

“Tell me more,” she said.

“I was born in 1984,” said Kay, “and you’re right, the Red Room got me… but the Soviet Union collapsed when I was still a child, so they began using us as assassins and spies for hire instead.  The controls weren’t as tight as they used to be, and eventually I went rogue.  The organization the SSR evolved into sent a man to kill me, but he…”  She looked up at Peggy, and seemed to arrange her words carefully before she continued.  “I guess he thought I was worth more alive.  So I ended up working for them instead.  I was with the group who found Steve in the arctic in 2012.”

Peggy had been thinking that recruiting somebody like Dottie sounded far too dangerous to her, but that number brought her train of thought up short.  Twenty-twelve didn’t even sound like a real year.  It was the sort of far-flung future one saw in serials where people regularly rode rocket ships into space.  “And he was still alive?” she asked.

“Yeah,” said Kay.  “When I met him, when they thawed him out – they let it take a few days, so he recovered better than he did today – he was so lost.  Everybody he knew was dead and the whole world had changed, but somehow they expected him to just get back into it and be Captain America again. And he did, because he didn’t know what else to do.”

Peggy could just picture it… poor Steve, wandering in a world like something out of one of Howard’s fantasies, all flying cars and cities on the moon.  Not in itself a terrible future, but not one anyone wanted to see alone.

But apparently it was a terrible future, because Kay went on: “by that time, people like Zola meant that HYDRA had completely permeated the United States government.  You almost couldn’t get it out without tearing the whole thing down. Steve and I found out about it and exposed it, but it was a horrible mess.  People looked back on the last sixty years and realized there were so many wars that didn’t need to happen and people who didn’t need to die.”

When talking about the death of Zola, Peggy recalled, Kay had sounded like the murder had been very personal to her.  There was more than that, though: “were you in love with him?” Peggy asked.

“Love is for children,” said Kay.  “Captain Rogers was my friend.  We worked together for years.  He missed you.  He missed Barnes, he missed Stark.  Finding HYDRA was still active made him feel like he’d sacrificed himself in that plane wreck for nothing.  There are so many things he would not have stood for, but those won’t happen now.” She sat up a little straighter. “Because Zola is dead and Steve is alive, and the future is going to be better.”

Peggy didn’t know if she believed a word of that… but it was certainly a compelling idea, and she couldn’t deny the reality of the two facts Kay had just stated.  Zola was dead, and Steve was alive.  And if the other things she’d said were true, then the future was going to be… perhaps not necessarily better, but certainly very different.

He was my friend.  That was why she’d been crying, because he’d woken up and looked at her and said who are you?  If he’d done the same to Peggy, she didn’t know that she would have been able to just keep smiling as Kay had.

“What are you going to do next?” Peggy asked.

“I’ve got a list,” said Kay.  “There are some more like Zola who have to go, and the Red Room, but we’re not talking about people who keep their records for seventy years. I need information, and to get it I think I need Barynova.”

“Then why run off to follow me?” Peggy wanted to know. “Why not stay in New York where they’re working on that?”

Kay gave an uneasy shrug.  “I just felt like I should be here.”

Peggy supposed she ought not to argue with that. If not for Kay, Steve would be either on a dissecting table or burned alive in the boiler room, and Peggy would never even know she’d killed him.  The thought made her shudder.

“What’s your real name?” she asked.

“Natalia Alianova Romanova,” was the reply.  “If I had any friends they’d call me Natasha. Or just Nat.  But don’t call me that,” Kay added firmly.  “I don’t want that name getting into the history books later. I don’t want anyone ever knowing this wasn’t the way history was originally supposed to go.”

“Because you don’t want anyone trying to put it back,” Peggy said.

“That’s right.”  Kay heaved a shuddering sigh, as if she might start crying again, but she did not.  “Do you believe me?”

“I don’t know what to believe,” Peggy replied, with complete honesty.  “But you did lead me to him, so… thank you for that.”  Even if Peggy had no idea what she was going to do about it.

“You’re welcome,” said Kay.  “You were the love of his life.”

“He was mine, too,” Peggy said, and wondered what Kay would think of the problem that presented her with.  Did she know something else about Peggy’s own future that Peggy did not?  Was she destined to be unhappy in marriage?  Or had she even thought about it at all?  Maybe Peggy was only here because Kay expected her to play her role in Steve’s future, and had never considered that Peggy might have developed other plans in the meantime.

[cagestark]

this is a fic I trashed. so it is unfinished and unhappy. But! You know how it goes. Thought I’d put this somewhere anyway. Always feels weird to delete words. 

-

Peter arrives at Stark Tower before dawn. In the busy business center of the city, people are already buzzing from place to place. If the gray sky overhead oppresses anyone beside himself, no one shows it. He pulls his phone from his pocket again and checks the time. Only a minute has passed since the last time he checked. Breathing in deep, he steels himself and disappears into the Tower.

FRIDAY lets him in without greeting him. He knows where to go, though he hasn’t been back to the Tower in—years. Not since after the dusting was reversed. Those days had been tenuous, spent watching through the glass as the best doctor’s in the world worked to save Tony’s life (they did), skin (they did, more or less), and arm (they didn’t). The day that Tony awoke for good, he sipped water to wet his mouth and then demanded that someone bring him a tablet so that he could design an arm.

Pepper was there for that, though. And when the doctors demanded that he rest, she was the one to explain that he would rest better while working. Peter was witness to all of it: the tearful reunion, the kisses, the cheeks wet with tears. His own were wet too—but no one saw that. No one saw a lot of things. Peter thought maybe it was best, that way.

Three days ago, Pepper had messaged him out of the blue to ask if he was free this summer to watch Morgan at the Tower while she and Tony worked. He’d bitten his nails to the quick, pacing his room feverishly trying to think of a way to say, Hey Miss—Mrs. Stark, sorry, but considering the deep unrequited love I have for your husband, it might not be best for me to interact with him or the child he so lovingly created with you. Have you tried putting an ad in the papers? He thought that maybe the best way would be to just answer with no excuse: no, sorry. Can’t. But when he went to type it, it came out: Sure!! :) with a real fucking smiley face. Peter stared at his phone for fifteen solid minutes, wondering if he’d been possessed by some babysitting demon.

Great! Pepper replied. Be at the Tower by 7. FRIDAY will let you in.

The ride up in the elevator lasts forever. The thing is stuck, he thinks, glancing at the emergency button—should he press it? He’s definitely feeling a little like he’s about to have a heart attack. What if someone is attacking the Tower, sucking all of the oxygen out of the elevators? What if when he gets up to the apartment, Tony is there?

The elevator doors open. Peter’s face burns—thank God he didn’t press the emergency button. He steps out into the glossy floors of the penthouse, and immediately stops short, listening to the sound of softly-raised, angry voices coming from the master bedroom. When Peter glances over, he sees that the door is cracked open.

“—completely capable of staying here alone—”

“She isn’t Tony. Just because Howard left you alone when you were her age—”

“FRIDAY is watching her. She knows where all of the fire extinguishers are, and how to use them thanks to last week in the lab—”

“It’s not just about her safety, Tony,” Pepper hisses. “She’s eight years old. She needs companionship.”

“An eighteen year old boy is your idea of a companion for our eight year old?”

FRIDAY saves the day: “Boss, Peter has arrived and is waiting in the main room.”

The talking cuts off abruptly.

“Yikes,” Peter mutters, jamming his hands deep into his pockets and struggling to pretend that he’s been enjoying the art on the walls—is that a genuine Warhol? Okay, now Peter’s truly a little interested, and that means that when heels are heard on the floor behind him, it startles him.

“Hi Mrs. Stark,” Peter says. It’s been three years since he returned to find out that they’d married, and those words feel no easier to say. He tries to say them as often as possible, then. Maybe someday it won’t hurt anymore, the way scar tissue can no longer feel sensation. “You look lovely.”

She does, in her pencil skirt and modest blouse. He thought women were supposed to have different figures after they had babies, but Pepper looks no different. If he hadn’t seen pictures in the news of Pepper’s softly rounded stomach, he’d almost believe that Morgan was created from Tony’s DNA alone. In a test-tube, probably. That sounds like just something Tony would do.

“Thank you, Peter,” she says. Her eyes crinkle when she smiles, and the crow’s feet are new, at least. “Food is in the kitchen, make yourself at home here, and don’t let Morgan boss you around too much. Tony and I will be back at five, sharp. If not, we’ll warn you. Sound good?”

“Yes ma’am,” Peter says. She presses a kiss to his cheek, smelling like floral scented soap, so feminine and soft. No wonder Tony fell in love with her. “Have a good day.”

“You too, Peter.”

She disappears into the elevator, and that is when Tony appears in the doorway. His appearance is almost entirely unchanged, though there is more gray in his hair. Both his hands are tucked into the pockets of his dress pants, but Peter knows that even if they weren’t, they would be physically indistinguishable from each other. The prosthetic is so advanced; Peter read all about it in TIME’s technology edition.

It’s said that it even feels real—though just the thought of it makes Peter’s mouth dry.

“Hey, Mr. Stark,” Peter croaks. It’s his first words to the man since he ghosted him after his return to earth, and since the man started ghosting him a year and a half later, ignoring Peter’s texts. Tony’s face is inscrutable, his glasses tinted dark and disguising his eyes. There is the barest about of scarred flesh, turning pale at last, sticking out from above his collar.

“Hey kid,” Tony says. He strides right by him, bringing the soft scent of cologne. It’s clear that he’s going to avoid Peter altogether and just go straight to the elevator. “Don’t burn the place down.”

“If I do,” Peter says softly. “I guess Morgan knows where the fire extinguishers are.”

Tony glances back, mouth frowning now that he knows they were caught talking—arguing—about Peter. The older man doesn’t reply, just steps into the elevator and follows his wife down.

[winterwolf57]

Hard to Hate You (Part 5)

TITLE: Hard to Hate You CHAPTER NUMBER/ONE SHOT: Chapter 5/? AUTHOR: Winterwolf57 CHARACTERS: Mobster!Bucky x Reader, Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, Scott Lang, Tony Stark GENRE: AU WARNINGS: None for this chapter. Maybe a little language? SUMMARY:  James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes was the king of the Brooklyn mob and you were his best assassin and right hand woman. The only problem? You hated each other’s guts…at least that’s what everyone thinks. A/N: And I’m back! Don’t worry, I haven’t given up on this story just yet. I am (slowly but surely) working on the rest of the chapters. Tags at the bottom. If I forget to tag you, please forgive me. Enjoy! xx

HTHY MASTERLIST

ATTY. LANG’S OFFICE

“In a recent turn of events, James Buchanan Barnes, also known as the King of Brooklyn, was arrested earlier today following recent accusations that link him to the murder of Howard and Maria Stark. The case against Mr. Barnes seems solid, however representatives from both camps have yet to reach out to the press with more details.” Before the lady on TV could continue, the machine quickly fades to black as you click it off and throw the remote to the couch.

You continued to pace back and forth until you couldn’t hold back your rage any longer. “How could you let this happen, Lang? You’re supposed to be the best goddamn lawyer in this city!” You shouted angrily as you slammed your fists on Lang’s desk. “Whoa easy there tiger. I mean boss… lady…ma’am.” Lang said with his hands in the air. “We’re doing everything we can I promise you. My team has been working tirelessly, day and night to find a loophole without having to…” he trailed off. “Without having to what, Lang?” you asked in a low voice that sounded faintly like a growl. “Y/N, let’s talk privately, shall we?” Clint chimes in, opening the door to an empty conference room. Behind you, you hear Lang let out a shaky breath.

“Please, sit down. This discussion will be long and unpleasant,” Clint said cooly yet straight to the point despite your death glares; he was used to being on the receiving end of your anger and has since learned to handle it well. You sighed in exasperation and took a seat across him, folding your arms over your chest. “As you know, Mr. Barnes has turned himself over to the police, thereby taking full responsibility for the charges.”

“Yes, I am aware of the man’s idiocy, now tell me something I don’t know,” you rolled your eyes. “Mr. Barnes and I had a long, winding debate about this before he decided to turn himself in,” Clint continued. “You KNEW he was going to turn himself in? How could you let him, Barton?”

“I wouldn’t have, hence the long winding debate. But it was the only way to keep you out of it. See Tony and his team has cleverly found a way to plant enough evidence to incriminate not just James, but you as well. So in attempt to keep your name from being dragged into the mud…”

“The idiot decided to take the fall for everything,” you said pinching the bridge of your nose between your fingers. “So should I arrange for the car to take you to Bucky?” Clint said after you pulled away. “Yeah. It’s time I scolded the idiot in person. Just give me a few minutes to wrap things up with Lang,” you said straightening your skirt and walking back to Scott’s office.

MAXIMUM SECURITY

Bucky picks up the phone, motioning for his guest to do the same. “Orange really isn’t your color, Buck” Steve teases to lighten the mood. “Shut up, punk. You’re lucky there’s a sheet of glass between us or your eye would be black and blue,” he sasses back affectionately. “How is she, Steve?” he asks referring to you, mood shifting dramatically. “Not gonna lie, she’s pretty fucking upset. She’s especially pissed that you drugged her. She said, and I quote, ‘when I get my hands on that idiot, I’m going to punch him in his perfect teeth,’ end quote.” Steve said laughing at the memory, Bucky chuckled along with him. “Do you think she’ll come visit?” he asked sincerely. Steve has never seen his friend so vulnerable in his life. “Yeah Buck, she’ll come around. Last I left her, she was breathing down Lang’s neck and pressuring your army of lawyers to find a loophole. She loves you too much to stay angry for long,” Steve replied reassuringly.  “But if she doesn’t,” Bucky began, “Bucky don’t even–”

“IF she doesn’t come around and lets me rot in here forever, tell her I’m sorry for breaking my promise, she’ll know what I mean. Make sure she knows that I did this all for her.” he said choking back tears. “Always so dramatic,” Steve quips despite the tears forming behind his eyes. “Time’s up,” says a stern voice from behind Bucky. “Steve, tell her…tell her I love her, will ya?” he says before hanging up. Steve nods his response and watches as Bucky is taken back to his cell.

After discreetly leaving some instructions with prison guards under Bucky’s influence, Steve headed out of the prison only to be intercepted by none other than Tony Stark. “Steve Rogers, as I live and breathe! Now tell me, what on earth are you doing here?” Steve came face to face with Tony and two of his bulkiest body guards. “My job. You told me to investigate the son of a bitch and I thought I might get some more leads by interviewing the man of the hour,” he lied smoothly. A useful skill he learned from Bucky. Tony searched Steve’s face for a moment but seemed to accept the answer. “Good, I knew I hired the right guy for the job. So tell me, did you find anything useful?” Tony probed as they both headed towards the exit of the building. “No. It was a bust. Despite turning himself in, he claims to be innocent,” Steve replied. Technically he wasn’t lying. “And you believe him?” Tony asked raising a brow at him from behind his heavily tinted sunglasses. “Honestly, I believe that the evidence doesn’t line up - that someone may be taking advantage of this family feud for his or her own political gain.” Steve answered. Tony seemed to consider it before giving Steve a dismissive wave. Whoever was behind this knew that the murder of Tony’s parents would set off an irrational rage in the man, and Tony was playing into the role perfectly.

Steve got into his car, ready to call it a day when his phone pinged. It was a video message from one of the prison guards. Steve opened it to find footage of Tony in a prison conference room talking to Bucky shortly after Steve had left to talk to the guards.

“I didn’t kill your parents, Stark. Surely you’re smart enough to figure that out.” Bucky says to an enraged looking Tony. “Oh yeah? That’s not what the evidence says. No. The EVIDENCE proves your guilt.” Tony had to take a while to calm himself down before continuing. “All I had to do was tinker a little to make it look like your pet assassin Y/N was involved and, well, here you are. Just like I predicted. Now I wonder, why would you do that for someone you could have easily pinned the blame on?” Tony asked with a devious smirk on his face.

“Unlike you, I wouldn’t let one of my most loyal people take the blame for something they clearly didn’t do.” Bucky replied as calmly as possible. “Hmm.. yes, I may be an egotistical asshole, and you may be the mobster with a heart, but no. See I think she means more to you than that. I think there may even be feelings involved, am I right?” he said flashing Bucky a million dollar grin. “I think you’re out of your goddamn mind. I THINK that whoever this invisible puppeteer is has got his stick so far up your ass that you can’t even see you’re being manipulated.” Bucky said leaning back on his chair. “THINK about it for a minute Stark. Whoever this is, he or she is trying to start another war between us. And while we’re busy tearing each other’s throats, they’ll attempt to rise to power. It’s textbook power play,” Bucky said trying to reason with Tony. “Hoho, you got me for a second there, Barnes. Trying to change the subject. But no, no more distractions. I came here to tell you one thing: You took away what I loved the most, now it’s my turn to take away what’s most precious to you. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me. Especially not from here.”

“SHIT!” Steve exclaimed. He tried to call you but your phone was out of service. He tried Clint next, muttering under his breath until he picked up.“Barton! Barton, where is Y/N? Please tell me she’s with you.” Steve said frantically. “No, she just left a few minutes ago to see James. What’s wrong?”

“I think Tony Stark is going to kill her.”

TAGS: @pickylittlebitch, @shamvictoria11, @once-a-shervel, @imaginethatcap

[ecotone99]

[RF] The Better Man

"Come on, come on. Pick up the phone." James was pacing in the hallway, a bottle of rum in one hand.

The ringing stopped. "Jeanie, it's me, Jim."

"Really? Cause my phone definitely said 'asshole' was calling." She mocked laughter at her own joke.

"Yeah, funny. Listen, can you pick me up? I need to crash at your place a few days."

He heard Jean sigh, and bit his lip as he waited for her answer. "Sure…Where are you?"

"I'm at a hotel on Claremont. I'll uh, send it to you."

She was silent again. She knew what that meant. "This is the last time Jim." She hung up.

James quietly stepped back into the room from the hallway. His “companion” from the previous night was already awake, in bed and half-dressed.

“I suppose you want me to leave then?” she said. He’d expected annoyance or anger from the woman, but she seemed rather cavalier.

He shook his head as he grabbed his wallet from the night stand. “Um, no that’s fine Sarah. I’ll just head down and pay on my way out. You can have the room ‘til noon.”

“Can I have another kiss?”

He stopped a few steps from the door. None of the women he’d met with had ever asked him that. It made him uncomfortable. He swallowed and turned around, his pride outweighing his conscience.

When he leaned in to kiss her, she turned her lips away at the last moment. “It’s Samantha by the way.”

He sighed and clicked his tongue in her ear. “I’m sorry.” In a few steps and he was back at the door. “In that case, if you want to call me, look up James fucking Dean.”

The door shut behind him without a word from Samantha. James smirked at his snide comment and headed for the elevator.

“That’ll be $105 for the night then,” the woman at the counter said courteously. “And please, no open bottles in the lobby.”

He handed her his card and stepped over to the coffee station. He poured the rest of his bottle in a paper cup with a lid and discarded it.

She eyed him, but said nothing else except “I hope you enjoyed your stay.”

He sat on a bench in the smoking area and called his boss. “Hey Don. I was just calling to let you know that me and the family will probably be back a little early. The kid’s not feeling too well, probably the heat. Disneyland is a blast though, you should take your little crew.”

He took a sip from his cup to wash out the distaste. “Anyway, I’ll be back in probably Friday then. See you then. Bye.”

The morning air was crisp, not too warm, and not too wet. James waited, what felt too long. He calculated the distance on his phone. "She should be here by now."

Her phone rang through until voicemail when he tried to call. "Listen, I'm sorry ok? I shouldn't be doing this. Like you said this is the last time, I promise."

He groaned as he set the phone back down on the small glass table and took another sip from his cup.

How did he end up here? He should be in control of his life, out on top. Instead he was making excuses for every decision, and his promises weren't worth the oxygen expelled.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Samantha talking to the woman at the counter. Not wanting to converse again, he picked up his cup and crossed the street to the taxi stand at the adjacent hotel.

"332 Hepburn Ave."

He watched Samantha walk out of the hotel. Her long blonde hair was now done up, she looked even prettier than she had last night. He continued to watch her make a call until she was out of sight.

Once I'm the freeway, the driver signaled to take an exit.

"Take the next one, it's faster."

The driver shook his head and pointed at his phone. "There's an accident up ahead."

James could see just the start of traffic piling up a half mile down the freeway, but he couldn't see the accident. He tried to tune into another sense, one he'd spent the last several years trying to block out.

"She's in trouble," whispered to himself.

"What's that?" The driver asked, slowing down

"Get as close as you can to the accident!" James reached between the front seats and pushed the steering wheel. The car skidded back onto the main road, nearly hitting a pole.

The driver slammed on the brakes. "The hell?!"

James opened the door and started running down the road towards the accident.

"Hey! I'm charging for the whole trip!"

Something had happened to Jeanie. He knew it. He knew when they were both ten and she broke her leg riding her bicycle with her friends while he was home.

Cars honked at him but he didn't care. He as fast as he could, his expensive shoes crushing his toes.

"Sir you need to step back, emergency services are still on the scene," an officer said to him. He didn't listen. He was frozen, his gaze fixed on the electric blue sedan in front of him, it was on it's side.

"The driver she?...", he managed to say.

"She's being transported in the ambulance, do you know her?"

James sat in the corner of the hospital room. The surgery and waiting had taken hours. Jean had more wrappings than a corpse, but she was alive. Broken bones, road rash, and her reconstructed face would heal eventually.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you could be there for her, but I still don't believe you. You didn't go on that business trip." Katherine said angrily through the phone.

"I don't need his from you right now, my sister almost died today," he replied.

"I'm sorry. I just don't understand what's going on, or why it took so long for you to call."

"It's been a long day," James sighed.

"Well, William and I will be up there after school tomorrow, he'll be happy to see you back early." She still had doubt in her voice. "Just take care of yourself honey. Get a hotel room or something."

"I want to stay here. With Jeanie."

"Ok, call me in the morning if there's news. Or if you just want to talk."

"Sure thing."

"I love you Jim."

"You too."

He stood next to his twin sister on the bed, taking her right hand which was in better shape than her left.

"I know your all drugged up, but if you can hear me I'm sorry. It should be me lying in that bed, with you telling me I told you so. Although, maybe they fixed your crooked nose.”

James stepped out in the hallway to find something solid to eat to mingle with the rum and coffee.

“Is the cafeteria open?” He asked a nurse passing him in the hallway.

“It is but,” she cocked her head. “It’s only vending machines in there.”

“That’s alright, thank you very much.” He started in the other direction.

Of course it was Jeanie. She attracted enough bad luck for the two of them. Every accident, ever tough break, every broken heart. It was always Jeanie.

I’ve got no reason to feel sorry for myself. James thought, as he reached for his pastry from the bottom of the vending machine. But he did. James couldn’t be pitied, he couldn’t regret. He wasn’t allowed to be anything but thankful for his lot in life, and responsible for upholding it.

To always be the better man; it carried a price of its own.

His phone vibrated with a text message:

“So, Mr. Dean, or should I say Mr. Howard? Same place in an hour? My treat. - Samantha”

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