#was going through animation memes and then remembered the it’sfinex20 one

[nightmarearian]

It’s fine

(Mother is out again, Father is drinking again, little AjaxMaria is saddled with tiny Taras)

It’s fine

(They’re fighting, now AjaxMaria has Odyss as well as Taras, and heshe is still Maria. Odyss has black-brunette hair when Father is ginger and Mother is blond. The pantry is empty because Father is passed out and Mother is gone. Fishing front the lake outside is the only consistent food they can get.)

It’s fine

(It’s either quiet or there’s shouting; AjaxMaria has bruises now, Taras is old enough, Odyss helps but he isn’t as tired as AjaxMaria or Taras and now they have Tonia.)

It’s fine

(Maria becomes Ajax as he falls and falls and falls and it’s dark and bright and the life in his eyes die and there are monsters and something asks if he wants to live and-)

It’s fine

(Skirk and the Abyss is the most of a parental figure Ajax has ever had and he is happy here as Calamity as the Devouring Deep but he knows he has to leave because how dare he just leave Taras and Odyss and Tonia-)

It’s fine

(It’s only been 3 days apparently and now they have Anthon who doesn’t have the same blue eyes as any of them and it’s crawling under his skin and it’s only for a few months until he can’t take it and blood runs under his hands-)

It’s fine

(He’s fucking sold to the Fatui and he knows the mora won’t go to his siblings and that’s what makes him angry but the Abyss is happy with the blood but Taras and Odyss and Tonia and Anthon oh he’s a horrid brother how could they ever love him-)

It’s fine

(There’s so much more blood on his hands, none of the other soldiers or agents like him and they call him feral a dog a monster as hydro is under his hands and suddenly there’s a delusion in his hands and the abyss is so hungry and he feels so empty-)

It’s fine

(Liuye is warmer and he can still on think of how horrid of a brother he is so he buys toys for new little Teucer and he wonders how Taras can still love him How Odyss still hugs him and Tonia is still fine with being his little princess and how Anthon doesn’t think he’s a monster. But to the Tsarista and the Abyss is TartagliaChilde sworn to so to Liyue he still stays and Ajax cries and-)

It’s fine

(He’s never gotten along with most of the Harbingers and that is the norm after all and Zhongli was never subtle in the first place, especially compared to his abyss but it still hurts and the reawakened abyss absolutely burns and oh hey little Teucer is here and he looks just like Odyss when he was younger [never like Maria or Ajax or Taras. Even then they were tired] and everything hurts and is empty and is so so gray)

It’s fine

(Signora dies and they’re all called back to cold and snow and he can’t feel anything the abyss is screeching and burning to where he says it isn’t the time for a fight and-)

It’s not fine.

The abyss burns. The Tsarista rages. The Harbingers scheme. Celestia watches.

Childe wants to run back to the Abyss, for all it is and how hostile it stays. It’s happiest and the most cared for he’s ever been and that’s saying something considering it’s actually Hell and he’d actually look like a monster but Skirk would ruffle his hair and actually care for him.

Ajax wants to run back to Taras and Odyss and Tonia and Anthon and Teucer because he might actually feel something even if it’s debilitating worry and stress but he gets to care and feel their love towards him even if he doesn’t deserve it cause he’s selfish.

Tartaglia doesn’t do or want anything because all it is a mix between a title and a mask that isn’t actually alive.

(He’d be a God in the Abyss. Calamity and Battle; Dreams and Stories. The Devouring Deep, something alive as much as it is a title, unlike Tartaglia. It would be so easy, and he would cause he’s selfish but he’s never one to break promises, much less to Taras or Odyss or Tonia, or the Celestial Archon of love and Cryo)

He stares at his own reflection, the mirror of a simple dress table in his Harbinger room. The room itself is painfully simple, as Pucinella has put it. It’s the room for Tartaglia, who is not a person. Why would it be decorated?

The Tsarista has called for all of them again, cause the politics of the Teyvat are reaching a high and it’s all so nuanced and fucking meaningless when he knows of the Abyss but can’t do anything.

It’s only half an hour to get ready for this stupid ball, and then another several hours of Tartaglia while the abyss burns inside only wanting to-

He breathes in. Out.

He puts on a fitting outfit, touches up on subtle make up and breathes in. Out.

He opens the door, puts on a dead smile like that’s his actual resting face like he’s done since Maria.

It’s fine.