#was abt to apologise for this but like WHEN DID I GET SO SELF DEPRECATING

[dorotheado]

i was listening to hoax and thinking (thanks to @eclipsedsuns ) on my flight today and came to the conclusion that one of the things she's talking about is calcium hydroxide? ik taylor said that hoax is about a couple things, so this is just me theorising about a couple lyrics. here's my evidence, brought on when i paralleled the lyrics with high infidelity:

the parallel between "whats the point in keeping score" and "i didnt know you were keeping count" was what sorta drew me to it. pretty clear parallel.

but on a more subtle note, i think the line in hoax's chorus "your faithless love's the only hoax i believe in" feels quite sombre in hindsight. i always thought of it as a loving tone, in conjunction with "dont want no other shade of blue but you" etc, but it can be interpreted as one of the other relationships she was processing. in this case, the relationship with c.h., who never had enough love for her and didnt trust her (see "there are many different ways for you to kill the one you love / the slowest way is never loving them enough", "you said i was freeloading", "good money id pay if you'd just know me"). thus, that love was faithless (and also infidelity = lack of faithfulness??), and she almost convinced/forced herself to believe in it (hence believing in a hoax).

another possible reference is "my eclipsed sun", which is c.h. being eclipsed by joe, repeating the motif of joe as celestial bodies. ("your eyes are flying saucers from another planet", "do i really have to chart the constellations in his eyes", "eyes full of stars", etc i could go on).

also "my best laid plan / your sleight of hand" being the parallel of "you knew the entire time / you knew that im a mastermind and now you're mine" as well as sleight of hand being a phrase for small trickery, like a glitch ??? callous heartrate being the best laid plan that she was following despite her gut, and joe being the glitch/sleight of hand/"i thought the plane was going down how'd you turn it right around" you get it

this one is more of a stretch but "my broken drum / you have beaten my heart" being related to "my love had been frozen deep blue but you painted me golden" as in her love didnt really function but he brought her back, almost painfully/mistakenly ("do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?", "a slight malfunction i'd go back to wanting dudes who give me nothing", "ive been sleeping so long in a 20 year dark night / now i'm wide awake")

i do think this song is obviously about many things at once, as she's said in long pond, but this was just some parallels i made! and had fun thinking abt on my flight :-) i also think that midnights is giving so much insight into how camembert haggis really fucked with her head and how this "lack of inspiration" she had was just processing time. it makes me sad. i am glad she has joe now 💛