#warning: they pretty ooc i aint fooling anybody
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Sunset Apologies
Prompt (suggested by xOpal69 on FanFiction): I’d like to see this version of Tony go through the aftermath of Infinity War.
WARNING: There are several descriptions of panic attacks in this oneshot, so if you are sensitive to such content, please proceed with caution.
Thank you for the suggestion, and I hope you enjoy!
Read here on fanfiction.net. Read the previous oneshots here (FFN) or here (AO3).
xXxXxXx
“Mr. Stark?”
Tony stiffened as Peter’s voice rang out across the empty planet, more hollow and quieter than he’d ever heard it be before. He turned around to see the kid staring at his hands in horror, watching as paper thin cracks slowly started to spread through them.
“I don’t feel so good.”
Peter stumbled forward and tried to regain his balance as he looked up at Tony, brown eyes brimming with tears, silently pleading for him to make everything better.
“You’re alright,” Tony insisted, praying to a God he wasn’t sure was there that everything was going to be okay. It had to be. He couldn’t lose Peter. Please, not Peter. The kid wasn’t even sixteen.
“I don’t know - I don’t know what’s happening,” Peter gasped, eyes screaming in fear and pain as he glanced down at his right hand that was already crumbling into dust before he tripped over his feet and fell forward into Tony’s arms, clutching the man tighter than he ever had before. “I don’t know - save me, save me!”
Tony almost fell backwards when the kid’s full weight slammed into him, but even as Peter begged for his life he was unable to say a word, his voice trapped at the back of his throat. Instead, he held Peter close to his body, wrapping his arms around him in an attempt to ground them both. He didn’t know what to do, God, why didn’t he know what to do?
“I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go, sir, please, please! I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go!”
Tony could feel Peter’s tears seeping through his clothes, the kid’s body getting lighter and lighter by the second. He knew what was happening and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He couldn’t even respond to Peter’s cries, only holding him tighter and managing to cradle the kid’s head in his hand as they tumbled to the ground.
He didn’t dare to look back, but Tony knew that Peter’s legs were gone.
Instead he stared at his kid’s face, watching tears trickle down his cheeks and praying to God that it was all some nightmare, that Thanos had never gotten all the Infinity Stones, that he’d wake up with Pepper sleeping peacefully beside him, and that Peter would be alive and well at his apartment in Queens.
As if he could ever be that lucky.
Peter’s cheeks were streaked with dust, whether from the planet or his own body Tony didn’t know and he didn’t want to know. Their gazes met, and Peter’s lips parted slightly, as if he was struggling to get words out.
“I’m sorry.”
Tony wanted to scream and shout that no, he didn’t need to be sorry because he didn’t do anything wrong, but there was a lump in his throat preventing his voice from escaping. All he could do was stare in horror as Peter crumbled to ash in his arms, a dark gray that starkly contrasted against the orange sky and red dirt of Titan.
Tony closed his eyes, unable to watch as the kid - his kid - disappeared into the wind. He clutched his left wrist as he so often did when he was unable to do anything else, a single tear escaping his eye and falling down his cheek.
It was his fault.
He was the reason Peter was dead.
“Why, Mr. Stark?”
Tony’s eyes flew open to see Peter standing but a few feet in front of him, a confused frown painted on his lips.
“Why didn’t you save me? Why did I have to die?”
Tony shook his head, scrambling to his feet. “Kid, no -”
“You could have saved me, Mr. Stark. Why didn’t you save me?”
Tony stumbled backwards, still shaking his head. “Pete, I…”
Peter’s eyes welled with tears. “I thought you cared about me, Mr. Stark! Am I just a tool for you? Do you only pretend to like me because I’m Spider-Man? Because I’m some kind of asset to you?”
“No, no,” Tony repeated. “Peter, why are you -”
“I’m dead, Mr. Stark.” Peter slowly shook his head. “And it’s your fault.”
xXxXxXx
Tony’s body jerked awake, and he immediately sat bolt upright in bed, body drenched in cold sweat. His short, sharp breaths echoed in the small room, and for a moment he had no idea where he was.
“We’re in Wakanda, Tony.” Pepper’s soothing voice interrupted his hyperventilation and his shoulders relaxed as she placed her hands on them. “You’re not on Titan anymore. You and the others are working on a theory to reverse Thanos’s snap, remember? You can and will bring Peter back.”
At the mention of Peter’s name, all the details of the nightmare came flooding back to him, just as they had every night since he’d returned to Earth. Nausea overwhelmed him, and Tony nearly fell out of bed before running into the connecting bathroom, collapsing to his knees and leaning over the toilet as he dry heaved.
It was the same. Every time.
He gagged, his body shuddering from the force, but nothing came up.
“It’s because you aren’t eating, Tony.” Pepper knelt beside him, gently rubbing his back. “I know you don’t want to, but tomorrow you really need to try to eat and drink something besides coffee, okay?”
Tony shook his head, still leaning over the toilet. “Can’t,” he managed to choke out. “My fault. Peter’s dead. My fault.” He heaved again, his breaths uneven and scratchy. “He can’t - he can’t eat. Or drink. My fault, Pepper.” He tightened his grip on the edge of the toilet bowl as another wave of nausea wracked his body, this time stomach acid coming up and burning his throat as he heaved.
“Tony, it’s not your fault,” Pepper said. She told him that every night, always on the bathroom floor as he tried to battle his guilt while his body took the toll. “And inside, you know that. Wherever Peter is, he knows it, too. You’re going to bring him back, Tony. You will. I know you will.”
Shudders finally stopped jerking through his body, and Tony felt the nausea subside, only to be replaced by the ever-worsening chill in his bones. Pepper didn’t remove her hand from his back, even as he moved away from the toilet. “What if…” He could barely stomach the thought, and he wondered if he’d abandoned the toilet too soon. “What if we can’t?”
Pepper didn’t answer. She never answered that question, not after having acknowledged it after his first nightmare, which had then resulted in him nearly having an aneurysm.
Tony ran his hands through his hair, barely noticing the tears starting to fall down his cheeks. “I killed him, Pepper. I couldn’t save him. He was just a kid!” His voice broke on the final word, and it was only then he allowed the tears to truly flow.
“There was nothing you could have done,” Pepper said, pulling him into a tight embrace. “You can’t keep blaming yourself, Tony.” She gently pushed the hair plastered to his forehead from sweat out of his face before pressing a kiss to his temple. “You’re doing everything you can to get him back. If you keep beating yourself up over it, you’re only going to hinder your progress. Okay?”
Tony didn’t respond. She was right, just as she always was, but he didn’t have the energy to answer. Instead, he buried his face in her shoulder, allowing himself to fade away into his fiancée’s words of comfort.
He knew he’d have the same dream again tomorrow.
xXxXxXx
“James Rhodes is requesting you allow him access to the lab, sir,” FRIDAY said from the glasses that had been cast to his left on the table. “If I may, I would recommend that you -”
“I don’t care, FRI,” Tony muttered, tossing a screw behind him. “No one’s getting in here. Not now.”
“Sir, I must remind you that you are currently using the Wakandan lab, therefore in truth you do not have the authority to prevent others from entering.”
“Which I’m not doing,” Tony argued. “Wakandans can come and go as they please - all I did was change a few codes in the system’s interface to keep anyone non-Wakandan with the exception of myself out. If T’Challa were here, I’m sure he’d be grateful that I’m limiting the access of foreigners to the lab.”
“While your statement may hold some truth, sir, I doubt he’d appreciate you locking yourself in here as a way to shut everyone else out,” FRIDAY countered.
“T’Challa barely knew me,” Tony scoffed. “He wouldn’t give a damn about whether I’m alone or not. Now leave me alone, FRI. I’m working.”
“Working or tinkering, sir?”
Tony’s grip tightened on the upgraded webshooters he’d started developing ever since he’d returned to Earth from Titan. Working on them as a gift for Peter if - no, when - he brought him and the others back was one of the few things keeping him grounded.
“Sir?”
Unable to stop himself, Tony grabbed his sunglasses from the table, snapping them in half without a second thought. In a matter of seconds, however, the nanobots he’d built them out of reconnected together.
“I must admit you hurt my feelings with that, sir.”
“Let me be, FRIDAY,” Tony grumbled, tossing the glasses back down. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“Understood. Allowing James Rhodes access into the lab.”
Tony bit back a scream of frustration. Sometimes his AI had too much intelligence and not enough artificial. “FRIDAY, as soon as everything gets sorted out, I’m replacing you with someone that will actually listen to me.”
“If you say so, sir,” was all FRIDAY had to say in response.
“Hey.”
Tony sighed and turned around, not even flinching as Rhodey winced and took in his appearance. He knew he looked like shit. After all, that was what happened when a person didn’t eat or sleep. Not to mention it was often made worse when said person also had a tendency to drown themselves in work to forget the world around them. “Hey yourself.”
“You look awful, you know.”
Tony shrugged. “That’s your opinion. I’ve been voted sexiest man alive a grand total of twelve times, you know.”
“Not if they could see you now.” Rhodey sighed. “Tony, Pepper says you’re practically living in here. You can’t do that, man. We need you helping us. We’ll only be able to fix everything if we all work together.”
“Yeah, right,” Tony scoffed. “Working as a team never got us anywhere, and that’s assuming we were ever actually able to work together at all. I assume you haven’t forgotten the Accords fiasco?” He glared at his friend. “Oh wait, I forgot you’re all buddy-buddy with the Capsicle again. Even after I told you everything about Siberia.” His heart was racing, and he was undoubtedly breathing faster than he should have been. “After everything I admitted to you, after everything -” He cut himself off, inhaling in sharp gasps.
Rhodey was immediately at his side, pulling out a stool from under one of the tables and helping him sit down. “Calm down, Tones. Breathe with me.” He took deep, slow breaths, encouraging Tony to do the same. “You’re in Wakanda. You’re alive. The arc reactor is in one piece. Breathe.”
It took him several minutes, but with Rhodey’s help he was able to relax. At least physically. “Sorry,” Tony muttered. “Shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I’m just…” He couldn’t finish the sentence. “You haven’t told anyone about what happened on Titan, right?”
Rhodey shook his head. “No. And I promise I won’t say anything.”
Tony nodded, relief flooding through his body. Only Pepper and Rhodey knew about Titan. What had happened to Peter. And as far as he was concerned, no one else needed to know.
“Listen,” Rhodey continued, returning to the previous topic. “Any other situation, Tony, I would not have hesitated to punch Steve right in the jaw. I’ll even admit that although half the universe was at stake, I was still tempted to do it.”
Tony managed a chuckle at that. “Thanks. Appreciated.”
“But I couldn’t,” Rhodey continued. “I had no choice but to work with him and the others. Just like you have to do that now. You can’t figure it out alone, Tony.”
“You don’t know that,” Tony mumbled, but in fact he did know in his gut that Rhodey had a point. Everyone seemed to understand things except for him these days.
“You’re the smartest person I know, Tones. But you don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
“Weight of the world?” A bitter laugh escaped his lips. “I don’t give a shit about the world, much less the rest of the universe.” Tony glanced down at the webshooters he still held in his left hand. “There’s only one reason I need to reverse the snap, Rhodes.” His grip tightened on them. “One. Reason.”
Rhodey’s eyes softened, and he placed his hand on Tony’s shoulder before give it a gentle squeeze. “I know. And you will.” He removed his hand and crossed his arms over his chest. “But the only way to do that is if we work together. Understand?”
Tony sighed. Rhodey was right - of course he was right - but it didn’t mean he wanted to admit it. “Yeah. I know.” He jumped off the stool, trying to act more energized than he felt. “Let’s get started, then. If you’re making me work with everyone else, then we don’t have any time to waste. The sooner we’ve succeeded, the better.”
Rhodey laughed, clapping his friend on the shoulder. “There’s the Tony we all know and love.”
No, he wanted to say. That Tony had died on Titan, when his kid had crumbled to ash in his arms.
xXxXxXx
“Goddamnit,” Tony cursed, staring up at the shelf several feet above him. While he knew he was by no means short, he was also well aware that he wasn’t exactly the tallest guy around. And unfortunately, in Wakanda where everyone seemed to be taller than average, that meant he couldn’t reach a solid 87% of their shelves.
“Should I request someone to come and provide you with assistance, sir?” FRIDAY asked from his sunglasses.
“God, no,” Tony replied, mortified at the mere suggestion of having to ask someone to help him because of the reason that he was too short to reach the shelf. “You’re going to make me have a heart attack, FRIDAY.”
“That is a lie, sir.”
“Yeah, not for long,” he muttered, ignoring his AI as he tried to figure out what to do. If he jumped, there was the possibility he could reach it, but he didn’t want to rip through the stitches currently holding his side together, which was yet to finish healing from the stab wound Thanos had so kindly given him.
“If you don’t mind my asking, sir, what is in the box you are trying to acquire?”
Tony sighed. “A few spare parts. Or so I was told.” He paused before adding. “You know, I don’t recall making you so nosy, FRI.”
“Perhaps,” FRIDAY hummed. “But you did create me to evolve based on circumstances and surroundings. I have learned a great deal from you and Ms. Potts, although my ‘nosiness’ may best be attributed to Mr. Parker.”
Tony’s entire body stiffened at her words. She was right. Peter always asked questions. Didn’t know when to stop. He’d be embarrassed afterwards, and then would proceed to not stop apologizing for asking so many questions.
“Did you really use nanobots, Mr. Stark?!”
“Yes, Pete, as I’ve said a hundred times by now.”
“That’s so cool!”
“Yes, which you’ve said a hundred times by now.”
Peter flushed, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, Mr. Stark. I’m probably getting pretty annoying, huh?”
Tony chuckled, ruffling the kid’s hair. “Nah. It’s nice to have someone geek out over my brilliance every once in a while, instead of calling me an arrogant bastard or trying to steal my tech and use it for world domination.”
Peter snickered. “Well, to be fair, I’ve never said I wasn’t going to take over the world.”
“Oh yeah?” Tony shook his head, unable to keep a smile from creeping onto his lips. “You’d probably succeed, too. The first person to successfully take over the world and it’d be a twelve-year-old genius.”
“I’m fifteen, Mr. Stark.”
“Sure you are, Spider-Baby.” Tony flicked the kid’s nose. “If you were fifteen, you wouldn’t be able to use those puppy dog eyes on everyone like you do. But you can, therefore you can’t be older than twelve.”
Peter pouted. “That’s not fair, Mr. Stark!”
Tony laughed. “Life’s not fair, kid.” He glanced at his watch. “I’m tired of working. You technically don’t have to be home for another two hours. Want to watch a movie?”
“Star Wars?”
“Absolutely not. We watched that last time.”
Peter groaned. “Ugh. Fine.” His eyes suddenly lit up. “Ooh, I know what we should watch!” He beamed at Tony. “You have to guess what it is, Mr. Stark. But here’s a hint: it’s the best superhero movie of all time.”
“What, is it that biopic about me?”
Peter’s eyes widened. “There’s a movie about you?!”
Tony rolled his eyes. “Of course there is. I’m the legendary Tony Stark. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” He paused as a thought came to mind. “You know, I think they’re working on a second one now. Maybe it’s a third.”
“We have to watch it!” Peter grinned at him. “I want to know all of your life’s secrets, Mr. Stark.”
“Of course you do.” Tony shook his head, but a small smile was dancing on his lips. “You’re too nosy for your own good, kid.”
“Tony?”
Tony blinked, reality crashing back down on him. Wakanda. That’s right. He was in Wakanda. He’d been trying to reach a box. Spare parts. The box of spare parts was on a shelf that was too high for him.
When had he collapsed against the wall?
He slowly straightened himself up, his legs still somewhat unsteady, then turned around to see that Natasha had been standing behind him. He still wasn’t used to her bleached hair.
“FRIDAY contacted me,” she said, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. “She said you needed help with something. Are you alright?”
“I apologize, sir,” FRIDAY said from his glasses, her voice low enough so only Tony could hear. “Your heart rate was elevating rapidly, and once you started having to support yourself with the wall I contacted help. Neither Ms. Potts nor Mr. Rhodes were available, and Ms. Romanoff was the only one to respond out of the others.”
Tony sighed. His AI had simply followed the orders he’d programmed her with. He couldn’t fault her for that. Instead, he returned his attention to Natasha. “Actually, Agent Romanoff, there is something I could use your assistance with.”
Natasha raised an eyebrow, clearly noticing that he’d avoided answering her question but chose not to comment on it. “I never thought this day would come. The legendary Tony Stark admitting that he needs help.”
“Actually, that moment has come and gone already,” he grumbled, recalling his conversation with Rhodey a few days earlier about them all having to work together. “But if you’re going to act like that, I’ll find someone else to assist me.”
Natasha frowned. “I was joking, Tones. Lighten up a little. We can’t afford to wallow in anger if we’re planning on getting anything done.”
It was easy for her to say that. She hadn’t lost anyone. Not like he had.
Of course, she didn’t know he’d lost someone. Neither her nor Steve nor Bruce had any idea. And he planned to keep it that way. They didn’t need to know. They’d probably blame him if they found out he’d allowed a child to die. ‘Why didn’t you take better care of him’ and ‘why did you bring him with you’ and God, Tony knew he wouldn’t be able to take it. He was already asking himself those same questions every day.
“Sorry,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “I guess I’m just tired.”
Natasha nodded in sympathy. “I understand. We all are. And you’ve been working harder than any of us.”
Tony heard her unspoken question: Why? Even he had to admit that to anyone who didn’t know about Titan, it was strange that he, the conceited Tony Stark, was working so desperately to bring back half of the universe. The fact that most had him labelled as a man who did nothing unless it involved personal gain didn’t help, either. “I need you to get that box down for me,” he continued, trying to steer the subject back to its original purpose.
Natasha raised an eyebrow. “Really? You do realize you can jump and reach it, right?”
Tony sighed, rolling his eyes before he lifted up his shirt to show her the bandages wrapped around the lower half of his torso. “In case you’ve forgotten, Romanoff, I was stabbed not that long ago. If you really want me to ‘jump and reach it,’ as you said, I’ll gladly do so, but then you will have to deal with the fact that blood will be oozing out of my side and all over the floor.”
Natasha rolled her eyes, but the corners of her mouth were quirked upward. “I suppose I can count that as a valid excuse.” She walked over to the closet, eyeing the shelf a few feet above her head. A moment later, she jumped into the air - higher than what was possible for an average human, Tony was certain - and held onto the top of the door frame for a split second as she seized the chance to grab the box he needed.
She landed on the ground with her knees bent to absorb the shock of the landing, easily returning to her full height as she glanced down into the box. She frowned. “Was there supposed to be something in here?”
Tony groaned. “Yes, but I take it there’s not?”
Natasha tilted the box, showing him the empty inside. “Nothing except dust and spiderwebs.”
Tony could have sworn his heart skipped at least five beats before hyperventilation began.
He was back on Titan, holding Peter tightly in his arms until there was nothing left for him to hold on to, falling to his knees on the hard, red-brown soil.
Peter was dead. Because of him.
“Tony?”
Natasha’s concerned voice filtered into his mind, and the world of Titan slowly returned to the walls of the Wakandan palace around him.
“Tony, what’s going on?”
He hadn’t even realized he’d started gripping his left wrist, shudders wracking his body ever so often as he breathed in harsh gasps. “I’m fine,” he choked out, turning away from her and stumbling before making his way down the hall and back to his room.
“You’re clearly not,” Natasha argued, following him. “What happened out there, Tony? In space?”
God, Tony hated how intuitive the Russian woman was. “Nothing.” His fingernails clawed into his skin before he had to release his wrist to open the door. “Leave.” He didn’t bother to look back as he entered the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him.
Tony buried his head in his hands, leaning against the wall as his knees buckled beneath him.
“Tony…”
He recognized Pepper’s voice immediately, relaxing slightly as she moved next to him. “I’m fine. I promise.”
Pepper sighed. “Tony, you can’t go on like this. You have to tell them about what happened.”
Tony lowered his hands from his face, staring at his fiancée with empty eyes. “The only thing I have to do, Pep, is bring Peter back.” He clenched his fists. “That’s the only thing.”
xXxXxXx
“Shit!” Tony hissed through his teeth as coffee splashed out of the pot and scalded the top of his hand. “Damn it!” He quickly turned the sink on, running cool water over his skin to ease the stinging.
“Maybe that’s a sign,” Steve suggested, leaning against the counter a few feet away from him. “You’ve had at least seven cups today alone, Tony.”
“What’s it to you?” Tony muttered, drying his hand before sipping some of his coffee, ignoring how it burned his tongue. “You need me awake.”
“You may be awake but you’re barely conscious,” was Steve’s dry response. “You’re no good to us if you can barely function.”
“Exactly,” Tony said. “That means I’m no good to you when I’m sleeping, either.”
“Actually, Steve has a point,” Natasha said as she joined the two in the kitchen, Pepper a few steps behind her. “You need to get some sleep.��
“I’ve been getting plenty of sleep,” Tony scoffed. “Right, Pepper?”
His fiancée rolled her eyes. “Tony, I’m not going to defend you on this one.”
“Boss has been getting a maximum number of three hours of sleep every night,” FRIDAY reported from his glasses. “A minimum of none, and an average of two.”
“Goddamn, FRIDAY,” Tony muttered, downing the rest of his coffee. “You didn’t need to tell them all that.”
Natasha frowned at the AI’s comments. “Why haven’t you been sleeping, Tony?”
“Nightmares,” FRIDAY responded. “About what occurred on Titan, when he went to space.”
Tony stiffened, his grip tightening on the handle of his mug. “Someone wants their software shut down, don’t they?”
“It is for your own good, sir.”
“Nightmares?” Steve repeated. “What happened on Titan that would cause nightmares, Tony? You told us that you were alone with Thanos up there.”
“Except for the girl,” Bruce said. “The blue girl. The one who was mostly machine. Nebula, or something?”
“Oh, now everyone’s in here,” Tony grumbled. He hadn’t even noticed that the scientist had showed up. “Guess it’s a party.”
“Well, not everyone,” Bruce replied. “Rhodey’s doing physical therapy, I think.”
“Is there something you’d like to tell us, Tony?” Steve demanded.
Tony didn’t appreciate the man’s tone of accusation. “Not really, if I’m honest. I’m quite content with keeping it all to myself.”
Pepper sighed, crossing through the kitchen and stopping at his side. “Tony, maybe it’s time.”
“You have been acting strange lately,” Natasha said, the corners of her lips dipping down. “Yesterday, you virtually had a panic attack when I showed you an empty box. I know you’ve been through a lot, Tony, but that seemed to be a stretch even for you.”
Pepper laced her fingers through Tony’s, gently rubbing her thumb in circles on the top of his hand as a means of comfort.
It helped. His fiancée truly was a gift.
“That box wasn’t empty,” he muttered, staring down at the inside of his coffee cup like it was going to somehow refill itself.
“Apologies,” Natasha said, her voice oozing with false sincerity. “It had dust and spiderwebs in it. My mistake.”
Tony’s grip tightened on Pepper’s hand, but he managed to keep a cool exterior. “It doesn’t matter, Agent Romanoff. My business is my business.”
“I think we deserve to know the truth,” Steve countered, crossing his arms over his chest and that look of suspicion Tony hated so much dancing in his narrowed eyes. “We can’t keep secrets from each other.”
Tony laughed, though there was no humor behind it. “Not keeping secrets?” He glared at the super soldier. “You’re one to talk, Captain.”
The two stared each other down, but in the end Steve cracked first.
“You’re right,” he muttered. “I was wrong then.” He ran a hand through his blonde hair. “So don’t make my mistake, Tony.”
“What mistake?” Bruce said, his brow furrowed in confusion. “What happened while I was gone?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Tony replied darkly. He glanced at Pepper, silently asking for her approval. She nodded, and he sighed. “I wasn’t alone on Titan. There were five others with me, excluding Thanos and the girl.”
“Did they…” Bruce gestured vaguely with his hand. “You know.”
Tony laughed bitterly. “Did they disappear? Yeah. They did.”
Steve frowned. “I don’t understand. Did you know them personally?”
Tony shrugged. “Not exactly. But near death situations can get you pretty close to someone.” He placed his cup on the counter, sighing. “Peter Quill. Originally from Earth but somehow ended up in space for a majority of his life. Asshole, but not as stupid as he looks. Drax the Destroyer. Associate of Quill. Thanos ordered the mass murder of half of his planet, which included his wife and daughter. Does not understand metaphors whatsoever. Mantis. Another associate of Quill.” His nose wrinkled as he tried to come up with an adequate description of the girl. “Weird bug lady. Some kind of empathic powers. They said they knew Thor.”
“Like that racoon,” Bruce added. “The talking one. And the talking tree.”
“Well, that’s three people,” Natasha said, ignoring the scientist and crossing her arms over her chest. “But I highly doubt their disappearances would impact you enough to have nightmares.”
“What, you don’t think I’m sensitive?” God, Tony would have killed for a glass of brandy right then. But he couldn’t allow himself to fall back into that cycle.
“Who were the other two?” Steve asked.
“Well, Stephen Strange was one. Complete douchebag.” Tony gestured towards Bruce. “You remember him, right? Wizard guy. Sentient cloak, funky necklace, magic powers.”
Bruce gaped. “He was with you?!”
Tony shrugged. “Hell, he was the reason we went to space. He had an Infinity Stone on him, and we had to rescue him so Thanos wouldn’t be able to get to it.” He sighed. “Not that we succeeded.”
Steve frowned. “Who’s ‘we,’ Tony?”
“Who was the fifth person you were with?” Natasha asked, eyebrow raised.
Tony stared at the ground, squeezing Pepper’s hand so tightly it had to hurt and yet she still didn’t let go. “Do you remember Spider-Man?”
“Spider-Man?” Steve repeated. “The one you brought to Germany?”
Tony nodded. “The one and the same.”
“Why was he with you?” Natasha demanded. “I thought you recruited him for Germany and Germany only, Tony.”
“Yeah, well…” Tony shrugged. “Plans change.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket, typing in a few commands before a hologram was projected from it. Something akin to a slideshow started to play, full of pictures of him and Peter, as well as a few shots of the kid as Spider-Man. “I liked the kid. He became my personal intern at Stark Industries. We worked on the suits, mostly. He was in the area the day of the attack, and followed me and the wizard into space.”
“Tony.” Steve’s voice was ice cold. “You recruited a child.” He shook his head in disbelief. “A child that could have been killed. In Germany, as Spider-Man, and in space. For nothing but your own personal gain.” He glared at him. “Do you realize that?”
Tony stiffened. Of course he knew that. “Germany was not my proudest moment, Captain. I’ll be the first to admit it. But the kid -”
“What did you even do to him?” Steve interrupted, blue eyes blazing with anger. “Did you switch from testing on robots to testing on humans, Tony? Is he a failed science experiment? A pet you keep around for your amusement?”
Tony couldn’t make eye contact with the man. His chest was tight, and it was as if his voice was trapped inside him.
“Steve, that’s enough,” Natasha said, her tone laced with venom. “I admit, I didn’t know Spider-Man was a kid when he was recruited, but Tony did not experiment on him. I can’t believe you’d even suggest that.”
“Good,” Steve snapped, glaring at Tony. “If you had, I would kill you right here, right now.”
Tony could sense anger boiling in Pepper as her hand not holding his clenched into a fist, but he shook his head, casting her a look that read ‘back down.’ He deserved this. He’d let the kid die.
“I cannot believe you,” Steve muttered, running a hand through his hair. “A child. What, did you keep him around because he was Spider-Man? His freaky powers were of some sort of interest to you?”
“Steve, you know you don’t mean that,” Bruce tried to say, but he was ignored.
“And then you brought him to space,” Steve continued. “From the looks of it, he didn’t come home with you, did he, Tony? How does that feel? To be responsible for the death of a child?”
“That’s it,” Pepper muttered, her blue eyes steely as she walked up to the blonde. She was already a tall woman, and her heels put her almost at Steve’s height. She stared him down, and for a moment, Captain America faltered.
The room was dead silent. Until she slapped him right across the face.
“Bullshit,” she snarled, glaring at Steve with more anger than Tony had ever seen her possess. “You don’t have a single clue about anything that has gone on with us over this past year, so get off your high horse and stop acting like you do.”
Steve gaped. Apparently it was also the first time he’d ever seen Tony’s fiancée so enraged.
“If you were actually trying to be logical here, you acknowledge your errors in dealing with the Accords,” she continued. “Yes, everyone made poor decisions, but you, Steve Rogers, didn’t even have the decency to admit yours. Instead, you ran away, leaving Tony to clean up the mess behind you, just like he does every. Single. Time.” Pepper paused, clearly attempting to calm herself down. “Anyways, about Peter. Or Spider-Man, if you prefer. For one, he was out fighting crime long before Tony ever met him, and continued to do so after Germany. Would you like to know what that child was wearing before Tony gave him an upgraded suit with hundreds of built-in safety features, plus a tracker that allowed Tony to keep an eye on him?”
Pepper’s eyes flashed dangerously, and Steve hesitated before offering her a brief nod.
“A sweatshirt. I believe it’s safe to conclude that Tony stepping in and giving him a new suit was a good thing.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Now, what was it you said? ‘A pet you keep around for your amusement?’” She gestured to Tony’s phone, which was still going through the hundreds of photos of Peter. “Right. ‘Amusement.’ Because apparently you believe Tony Stark is incapable of feeling love.”
As Steve turned to look at the hologram, the photo changed to the one Tony had set as his background - him and Peter just after they’d dyed their hair together. Seeing it made Tony’s body stiffen up again as the memories swirled around him. Fortunately, he was torn out of them by Pepper’s voice before he could be overwhelmed.
“Tony has spent so much time with Peter that he’s listed as an emergency contact at the kid’s school,” Pepper snapped. “He helps him with his homework, and I swear that they’re always off tinkering in the lab together. How dare you call Peter a ‘source of amusement!’” His fiancée was seething, and Tony knew she wasn’t done yet. “Now, I cannot be the one to tell you exactly what happened on Titan. But I do know that Tony did not bring Peter into space with him. Peter followed him because he cares about Tony.” She glared at Steve. “Unlike some people I could mention, who prefer to leave their friends for dead.”
Tony’s breath hitched at the mention of Siberia, and he didn’t miss the color draining from Steve’s face. “Thanks, Pepper,” he said, stepping forward and placing a hand on his fiancée’s shoulders after turning off his phone, the image of him and Peter vanishing. “I think he gets it now.”
Steve opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out.
“What he’s trying to say is that he was wrong,” Natasha said. “He misjudged you. So did I.”
Tony shrugged, trying to pretend it meant nothing to him. Part of him genuinely didn’t mind - he was used to hateful accusations from the press every other day. “I can understand why.”
Steve sighed. “Maybe looking after Spider-Man was a good thing for you to do. But I still don’t think you should have brought him into anything in the first place.”
Tony stared at the ground. “Yeah. I agree with you there.”
Silence fell over the room, and Bruce was the one to break it, awkwardly wringing his hands as he did so. “Tony… What happened on Titan?”
Tony took in a shaky breath. He couldn’t just walk out of this one. “We fought Thanos. We were so close to getting the gauntlet off of him, but something snapped in Quill. I think Thanos killed his girlfriend or something. In the end, Thanos overpowered us.” He shook his head, laughing bitterly. “I faced off with him for about five minutes on my own. No backup. I fought with everything I had… And all I was able to do was put a scratch on his face.” His hand immediately drifted to his side, rubbing the spot where his wound was yet to heal. “He decided to return the favor by stabbing me. He was going to kill me, but…”
He trailed off, guilt rising in his chest. Pepper stepped closer to him, her presence more comforting to him than anything else at that moment.
“Strange gave up the Time Stone. In exchange for my life.” Tony clenched his fist. “I don’t know why. My life isn’t worth half of the universe. But he did.” He shrugged helplessly. “Thanos disappeared after that. And only a few minutes later everyone started crumbling. Strange said something about it ‘being the only way.’” He exhaled a shuddering breath. “He turned to dust. All of them did. It was fast. Maybe three seconds. But…”
“Oh my God,” Natasha murmured. “Don’t tell me…”
Tony sighed as an excuse not to speak, knowing his voice would crack if he tried to do so right away. “Peter… Withstood it, somehow. Maybe thirty seconds. He was fighting it, and…” He cursed as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. “He was begging me to save him. And I couldn’t do anything except hold him and watch as he crumbled away in my arms.” He stared down at his hands, able to visualize Peter fading away into nothingness all too well. “You’re right, Steve. I’m responsible for his death. Which is why I am going to do everything in my power to bring him back. No matter what it takes.”
Steve hesitated. “I see.”
Tony moved away from the group, refilling his cup of coffee before making his way to the exit, pausing in the threshold of the doorway. “If you need me, you know where I’ll be.”
And then he was gone.
xXxXxXx
“Are you certain the stone was glowing, Tony?” Bruce said, his glasses perched on the edge of his nose as he examined a paper covered in complex formulas. “Because if you’re right…”
Tony frowned and quickly changed a number on the paper of his own that was similarly covered with assorted mathematical equations. “I remember everything that happened on Titan, Bruce. I’ll never be able to forget.” He knew Titan was still a difficult thing to discuss - for himself because of the experience, and for everyone else because it had only been cleared up a few days ago - but Bruce had quickly fallen into the category Tony was willing to talk to. Along with Pepper and Rhodey, of course.
“Then that means the stone was activated, somehow,” Bruce replied. “Based on everything you’ve said and everything I know about the Infinity Stones from working on and with Vision, I doubt it was because of Strange summoning it - there had to be another factor.”
“And once we know that factor, we may find a loophole in Thanos’s plan,” Tony continued. “Or, if my hypothesis is correct, we may even find a loophole in time.”
He and Bruce had been researching extensively anything they could find about the Infinity Stones - the Time Stone in particular - ever since Tony had offhandedly mentioned that the stone had been glowing as Strange handed it over to Thanos. Of course, it was more him and Bruce calculating while Pepper, Rhodey, Steve, and Natasha did a majority of the research for them. Even Thor, Rocket, and the Nebula girl helped out where they could.
No one was complaining, however. There was no time to complain when there was even a sliver of a chance that they would be able to bring half of the universe back to life.
“Wait a minute…” Tony murmured, his pencil pausing over his paper. “Holy shit. Bruce, I think I’ve figured it out.”
The scientist immediately dropped what he was working on, moving next to Tony’s side in a flash.
“If all the information we’ve gathered is correct,” Tony said slowly, gesturing the seemingly endless amount of bulleted lists he had next to him, “and if the formula I’ve worked out is as accurate as I can get considering that it’s regarding a magical object…” He shook his head in disbelief. “We might have a lead on our hands.”
“It looks accurate to me,” Bruce said after he carefully examined the equation. Fresh eyes were the best way to spot errors. “What else have you got?”
“Well, we know the stones only glow when they’re being used,” Tony began. “Or at least have been used recently, anyways. Based on the capabilities we know the Time Stone has compared to the skills of the other Infinity Stones, I think it’s possible that the Time Stone can travel through time.”
Bruce’s eyes widened. “And based on your formula, you think Strange sent it into the future?”
Tony smirked, feeling more energized than he had in weeks. “Ding ding ding, we have a winner.” Then he sighed. “Unfortunately, even if my theory is correct, I believe Strange was only able to send it into the future for a month.”
Bruce winced. “And it’s almost been a month, hasn’t it?”
“Exactly. And we have no way of accessing the Time Stone, because Strange a) had no way of knowing that we’d be in Wakanda and b) may not have even thought to send it to a dimension where we could access it. And even beyond that, we have no means of manipulating the stone, because last I checked, we were not wizards.”
Bruce frowned, biting his lip. “You know, Tony, I think I might know a guy who’ll be able to help us. Assuming he’s still around after the snap.”
Tony’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Who?”
Bruce sighed, frustration painting his features. “I can’t remember his name. He was the other wizard in New York, remember? He saved my life.” He paused before adding, “I think you invited him to your and Pepper’s wedding, actually.”
Tony snapped his fingers. “Right! I know who you’re talking about.” He groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Damn it, what was his name?”
“I have run a facial recognition scan on the footage from the time before you journeyed to space, sir,” FRIDAY said from his glasses, which were lying on the table beside his paperwork. “The man who assisted you in your fight against the Black Order is named Wong. According to the intel I’ve managed to collect, he is still alive and continues to guard the New York Sanctum at 177A Bleecker Street.”
Tony clapped his hands together. “FRIDAY, you are utter perfection.”
“Does this make up for my forcing you to reveal to the others what happened on Titan?”
“If Wong is able to help us, FRI, then we’re more than even.” He stood from his chair, putting the glasses on before heading towards the exit of the lab, gesturing for Bruce to follow him. “Let’s go. We’ve got a trip to New York to make.”
xXxXxXx
“Manipulating the Time Stone is risky,” Wong said, glancing at the green Infinity Stone hovering in front of him. It had taken much convincing from Tony and the others, but he’d managed to pull it out from wherever Strange had sent it to - the Mirror Dimension, or something like that. “A sorcerer’s job is to defend the natural law, not alter it.”
“If memory serves, your job is also to protect our reality,” Tony pointed out, eyebrow raised. “I think returning the universe to its natural state falls within that category.”
“This is the only chance we may have to fix everything,” Steve added. “Please. Allow us to do so.”
Wong sighed. “Fine. I do not believe I have a choice in the matter, anyways.” He made a strange symbol with his hands, and soon his arms were glowing green in ancient runes. He met each of their gazes, one by one. “Do not fail, Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.”
Then everything went black.
xXxXxXx
Tony was back on Titan. Just as before, the planet was covered in rocky soil and the skies were tinted with a brilliant shade of orange. However, this time, he was alone.
“I suppose now we must wait.”
Not entirely alone, apparently. He turned around to see Nebula, who was staring at the ruins of the spaceship he and Peter had crashed when they’d first landed. “Why? Is there really no way for us to impact anything?”
“I did not say that,” Nebula replied simply. “But I suspect that because Earth was where Thanos successfully gained the last Infinity Stone he needed, that is where he must die.”
“Then why isn’t everyone currently here?” Tony demanded. “We’ve gone back in time. They haven’t disappeared yet.”
Nebula shrugged. “I am no wizard, Stark. I do not understand the ways of time travel.” She glanced down at him. “While we wait, I suggest you seal your wound.”
Tony looked at his side, and sure enough, the stab wound Thanos had been kind enough to give to him had reopened. “Huh,” he muttered, wincing in pain as he sealed it with his suit. “I didn’t even notice.”
“You may not have until someone pointed it out,” Nebula suggested. “However, I am not keen on the idea of you bleeding to death.” She stared at him, and her piercing gaze admittedly made Tony feel somewhat uneasy. “You play an important role, Stark. Here, on Earth, everywhere. Your decisions are life-altering.”
“Well, that’s not a lot of pressure,” he grumbled, although he was confused as to what she was referring to. “What are you talking about, again?”
She waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. I should not have said anything in the first place.”
Tony raised an eyebrow, skeptical, but didn’t comment. Silence fell over them, and he found his thoughts drifting back to Peter. He had never been one to pray, but he sure as hell - heaven? - was praying then that the others would succeed on Earth so Peter could return.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair, not caring that it was coated in dried blood and dust from the planet. If they failed today… God, he didn’t know what he’d do. Living in a pit of depression for the rest of his life seemed likely.
And if they did succeed… Tony didn’t know what he’d do then, either. Never let Peter out of his sight? Push the kid away so nothing like this would ever happen to him again? Hold him even closer than before so he could protect him from anything that could possibly harm him?
None of them seemed right.
Tony was distracted from his thoughts by a cloud of dust swirling next to Nebula - dust that formed into the petite body of a girl he recognized as Mantis. Her eyes were wide as she observed the world around her.
Finally, she breathed a deep sigh of relief. “You did it.”
Nebula raised a brow at her comment. “You remember what happened?”
Tony bit back a sharp breath. He didn’t want Peter to remember. It wasn’t fair for the kid to have his own death as a memory.
Mantis frowned. “Not exactly. Much of it is… Unclear.” Her antennae glowed on her head. “But I am an empath. I felt pain in… Wherever we had been taken to.” She shuddered. “So much pain. From so many people.” She offered them a tiny smile. “But I can sense your relief now. You have succeeded. I do not know how you did it, but I am grateful that you did.”
“Did it hurt?” Tony asked after a pause. “When you disappeared? Did you feel it?”
Mantis slowly shook her head. “No… I did not.” She stared at him sadly. “I know why you ask. The boy. You are concerned he felt it.”
Tony blinked, shocked but not surprised that she’d managed to read him so easily. “Yes.”
“I do not know whether he felt it or not,” Mantis replied. “That is something you will have to ask him for yourself.” She tilted her head to the side. “But perhaps you already know… Right?”
Tony didn’t want to think about how Peter must have felt, every atom in his body tearing itself apart and crumbling to ashes. “No,” he said tightly. “I don’t know. But thank you for trying to help.”
Mantis looked as if she wanted to say more, but another cloud of dust started collecting, larger than hers had been, and materialized into Drax.
He blinked in surprise, staring down at his body, as if he wasn’t quite sure what had just happened. Then he burst out into booming laughter. “I have returned from the dead!”
Mantis giggled at his behavior, but neither Tony nor Nebula was sure of how to react. They were saved from doing so, however, as another cloud of dust swirled around before turning into the body of Peter Quill.
“Gamora,” he gasped, spinning on his heel and searching desperately for something - or someone - around him. “Where the hell is Gamora?!”
Nebula stiffened at his words. “You saw my sister, Quill?”
He ran a hand through his hair, nodding. “Yes. She was there! In wherever we were.” He bit back what Tony suspected would have been a scream of frustration. “Damn it!”
“She will return.”
Tony turned around to see the one and only Stephen Strange standing behind him.
“We were in the Soul Stone,” Stephen said, crossing his arms over his chest, absentmindedly brushing his fingers over the weird necklace he wore that Tony had a feeling once again contained the Time Stone within it. “At least, that is where I believe we were.” He gestured to the ground beneath him. “Since we have been brought back to Titan, I can only assume the snap has been reversed. If so, Quill, then Gamora should return from the Soul Stone as well.”
Tony noticed that Quill didn’t seemed entirely convinced, but his shoulders did relax. “Fine. I’m trusting you, Dr. Weirdo.”
“It’s Dr. Strange.”
“Same difference.”
Tony lost interest as the two started squabbling, instead looking around him for another cloud of dust to form. But nothing was happening. The air was still, and the earth remained settled.
His chest was tight, and he knew he was going to hyperventilate and possibly have a panic attack if he didn’t regain control of himself soon. He tried to steady his breathing, but the thought of Peter not returning wasn’t helping in the slightest.
Then a hand was placed on his shoulder, and immense calm seemed to wash over him.
“Relax,” Mantis murmured.
Tony did relax. He felt unbelievably serene, although anxiety was still nagging at the back of his mind.
“Don’t remove your hand,” Stephen instructed to Mantis, stepping forward and looking Tony dead in the eyes. “Stark. Your… Ward, or whomever he is, is going to return. But panicking will do you no good. Understand?”
Tony nodded, then frowned. “He’s not my ward.” The ghost of a smile dusted his lips. “He’s my kid.”
“I’m your kid, Mr. Stark?”
Time seemed to slow, and Tony’s eyes widened as he had to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming - or worse, reliving another nightmare. He was awake, which meant… Oh God. He slowly turned around to see Peter Parker staring at him only a few feet away, a goofy smile dancing on his kid’s lips.
There was an awkward pause, as neither of them knew what to do. Peter took a hesitant step forward, and that was all Tony needed before he practically ran over to him and pulled the kid into the tightest hug he’d ever given, not even bothering to hide the tears flowing freely down his cheeks.
Peter returned the hug so tightly Tony was slightly concerned his back might snap in half, and briefly debated whether or not to tell the boy to squeeze him a little less, but when he heard the sobs of relief escaping Peter’s lips, he couldn’t bring himself to do so.
“M-Mr. Stark?” Peter sniffled, his face buried in Tony’s shoulders. “I take it we’re there now?”
A laugh mixed itself in with Tony’s tears as he remembered the awkward ‘not-hug’ the two had shared after returning from Germany, and he wrapped his arms even further around Peter. “Yeah, kid. We’re there now.”
There had been a hundred things Tony had planned to say, apologies, explanations, and more, but in that moment, he didn’t have to. Just having Peter back and in his arms was in enough.
“I missed you, kid.”
Peter pulled back slightly, but didn’t release Tony. He offered the man a small smile, which looked admittedly strange in contrast with his tear-stained cheeks. “I missed you, too, old man.”
Tony mock-frowned at the kid, then laughed to the point more tears started to flow. “Peter Parker, you are so grounded.”
Peter buried his face in Tony’s chest, and Tony could feel the kid’s laughter shaking his body. “Okay, Mr. Stark. As long as you’re grounded with me.”
Tony chuckled, ruffling the kid’s hair, all of the fear and tension finally starting to drain from his body. “Alright. Deal, Spider-Baby.”
“Mr. Stark!”
Even the others on the planet who had simply been observing the reunion from afar laughed at Peter’s indignant squawk.
Sure, he might have been thousands of miles from Earth and surrounded by a group that had to be some of the biggest idiots in the galaxy, but Tony had Peter.
And that was enough.
xXxXxXx
Bonus:
Tony hated sunsets. It wasn’t a conscious decision, but ever since they’d returned from space - Peter hadn’t let go of his arm the entire time during their trip back to Earth, much to his simultaneous relief and amusement -, even simply looking at the orange and pink skies reminded him of Titan. He was either filled with insurmountable rage or overwhelming nausea, depending on what else was going on around him.
He remembered finding out that Peter hated sunsets, too, and he could have sworn his heart had shattered then and there.
After returning from Titan, many people slept for days on end, Peter being one of them. Then again, Peter had also chosen to sleep in an uncomfortable chair leaning up against the wall in the MedBay, because he hadn’t wanted to leave Tony while he was in the hospital.
Tony had tried to explain to the kid that he was mostly being treated for basic stuff - getting fluids in him, re-stitching the wound in his side, etc. - but Peter of course had ignored him and promptly passed out in one of the plastic chairs lining the wall of his hospital room.
The kid had woken up as Tony was being allowed out of the MedBay, which had a been relief to everyone, because the thought of having to wake up a superpowered teenager seemed to be a struggle not worth having.
Peter had proceeded to not leave Tony’s side for the next week, the sole exception being to tackle his Aunt May in a hug, and even then he’d dragged her over to where Tony was sitting.
Aunt May had chewed the both of them out for at least a solid hour before she finally sighed and pulled both of them into a hug, saying that she was just so happy they were alive.
Tony was admittedly surprised to be included in that ‘they.’
Aunt May made him promise to look after Peter while he was healing before she’d left to go back to work. After she’d gone Peter had proudly announced that his aunt was one of the most amazing people he knew, and Tony was inclined to agree.
The two of them had continued to recuperate at Stark Tower for a few days after that. Most of the others were either at the Avengers Compound or in Wakanda, but every now then he and Peter would pass someone in the halls with a bandage or cast wrapped around some part of their body.
Around two weeks after their initial return from Titan, they learned of a party Sam and Clint were planning to have at the Avengers compound. Tony had at first been very miffed that he had not been consulted in the matter, much to Peter’s amusement, but he had relaxed when he learned that Pepper had taken care of it. Despite the sheer number of responsibilities she’d had to take on in such a short period of time, his fiancée still always looked and acted impeccable.
Upon realizing that Peter still made an ‘ew’ sound like a two-year-old whenever he and Pepper kissed, Tony had also taken it upon himself to kiss her every time the kid was around. Pepper was more than happy to comply, and Peter would always groan in response.
The party Sam and Clint were throwing was to celebrate both the return of many from battle and to honor the ‘valiant sacrifices’ of others who had given up their lives during the fight against Thanos. It was an all-day affair, much to Peter’s excitement and to Tony’s chagrin.
Of course, it was impossible for him to say no to the kid, so they decided they were going to attend the party from beginning to end.
Despite Clint’s insistent attempts to separate Tony and Peter while they were there in order to sneak the kid some alcohol, both managed to make it all the way through the day while remaining a hundred percent sober. Tony hadn’t had alcohol in years, and he wasn’t planning to start then solely because of a little party. He was also relieved to note that Peter was entirely disinterested in alcohol, too - he knew there was no way he’d be able to handle a wasted teenager, much less one with superpowers.
The party itself was much less ‘wild’ than Tony feared it would be, likely because people were still recuperating and had likely also lost someone fighting against Thanos. However, it was still good fun for all, as everyone was able to mingle and check up on one another as they wandered throughout the compound.
The party was near its end when Sam and Clint took everyone outside of the compound to a nice patio Tony had added at someone’s - Natasha’s? - insistence. The two were joined by Steve as they tried to propose a toast.
Tony tuned out at that point. He’d heard enough of Cap’s speeches to last him a lifetime. It was always the usual bullshit about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. He’d never understood why - the man had fought in World War II, not the Revolutionary War. But he never questioned it.
Peter, unfortunately, seemed much more enthused about the one and only Captain America proposing a toast. “Mr. Stark! I can’t see all the way back here,” he complained. “Can we get closer? Please?”
Tony groaned in mock-exasperation. “You mean you’re going to make me leave the comfort of air conditioning to go outside just so we can hear an old man preach?”
Peter nodded resolutely, which made him chuckle.
“Alright, fine.” Tony placed his hands on Peter’s shoulders and started steering him through the crowd. “You know,” he called to the kid, “if you weren’t so tiny, Spider-Baby, we’d able to see from back there instead of having to go all the way to the front.”
“Says the one who’s only an inch taller than me,” Peter grumbled in return.
They stopped near the front of the crowd, albeit one of the edges of it. However, Steve, Clint, and Sam were more clearly visible now, so Tony felt he’d done a decent job. “Hey, I didn’t say I had to be tall,” he countered. “I just said you did.”
Peter didn’t respond, and Tony figured the kid had gotten caught up in the speech. He didn’t like to admit it, but Steve was pretty good at grabbing the attention of a crowd. Tony was, too, of course - just in a very different way.
He glanced at his watch, seeing that it read 7:46. He looked around him, and noticed the brilliant shades of orange and pink painting the sky and washing over everyone. A wave of nausea flooded through him, but he managed to stay on his feet. He was not on Titan. He was at the Avengers Compound. Peter was alive, Peter was breathing, no one was crumbling to ashes around him.
“Mr. Stark?”
Oh God. He wasn’t hearing things, was he? He wasn’t ready to question his sanity to so great an extent just yet.
Although, as Tony looked down and saw a quivering Peter standing in front of him, silent tears sliding down his cheeks, he did wish for a moment that it was only his imagination.
Pushing aside his own nausea and unsteadiness, he gently lifted Peter’s chin to ensure they were making eye contact. “Hey,” he said calmly, trying to keep his voice as smooth as possible for the kid’s sake. “What’s wrong, Pete? Why are you sad?”
Peter shook his head, and it was then that Tony noticed how the kid’s chest was rising and falling at an alarming rate.
Panic attack.
Tony muttered a curse under his breath. It wasn’t fair. Peter was only fifteen. But as he knew all too well, life was not fair. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, gently rubbing the kid’s back in an attempt to ground him. “What is it, Pete? I can help you more if you tell me what’s going on.”
When Peter didn’t react, instead continuing to stare blankly at him, Tony almost panicked. He was about to just drag the kid inside when slowly, very slowly, the boy shakily lifted his arm and pointed at the sunset.
“Sky,” Peter croaked, fear flickering in his eyes. “Titan?”
“Shit,” Tony whispered. Of course Peter would hate sunsets. He’d had his body ripped apart on a planet existing in a phase of perpetual sunset. “Okay. Okay.” He pulled his kid into a tight hug, rubbing circles with his thumb into Peter’s hair in an attempt to calm him down enough so they could walk inside. “Focus on my breathing, kid. Try to sync up your breaths with mine.”
It seemed to work, as Peter’s sniffles subsided and his body relaxed in Tony’s arms as his breathing shifted from hyperventilation to slower, more even breaths.
“Alright,” Tony said soothingly, gently releasing Peter. “We’re going back in the compound now, okay? And we’re going to go past the lab and down the hall into your room. Sound good?”
“I… I have a room?”
Tony would have laughed if it weren’t for the tears still falling down his kid’s face. “Of course you have a room,” he said, offering Peter a small smile. “Everyone does. Yours is probably the nicest, though.” He winked at him. “Only the best for my favorite Avenger.”
He was pleased to note that Peter did laugh in response, counting that as a win even though the laugh was barely loud enough to be heard. He wrapped an arm around Peter’s shoulders and started moving through the crowd back towards inside, which was easier than pushing to the front because people eagerly filled in the spots he’d left open behind him.
In a matter of minutes they’d successfully made it through the compound and into Peter’s room. Posters covered the walls and LEGO sets lined the floors amongst assorted other things Tony had purchased in the hopes Peter would enjoy them, but he pushed right past them and sat down on the bed, pulling his kid down next to him.
“Why don’t you like sunsets, Peter?” Tony asked after a pause, although he had a feeling he already knew the answer.
Peter shook his head, his bottom lip quivering. “It’s stupid,” he mumbled. “Don’t worry, Mr. Stark. I can handle it myself.”
Tony shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not.” He chuckled, but his tone was tinged with bitterness. “I thought I could handle everything on my own, too, kid.” He glanced at Peter, who was staring down resolutely at the floor. “But humans aren’t invincible. It’s okay to ask for help and to rely on other people.” He hesitated, then added, “You know, Pete, I don’t like sunsets either.”
As soon as he admitted his own fear, Peter looked up at him, and Tony could tell that the kid’s resilience was beginning to waver. Finally, he managed to say, “The color. I don’t like the color.”
“Okay,” Tony said simply. “What about the color?”
Peter shook his head. “No, it’s your turn.”
Tony raised an eyebrow in response. “My turn?”
Peter nodded. “We’re taking turns to explain why we don’t like sunsets, Mr. Stark.”
Tony almost laughed, instead managing a chuckle and ruffling the kid’s hair. “Well, I’m not a fan of sunsets because of the color, either. Every time I see them I feel like I’m back on Titan, and everyone around me is crumbling to dust.”
“Me too,” Peter murmured, staring off into the distance, his mind clearly elsewhere. “I can see them all fading away. And then…” He shuddered, a few more silent tears falling down his face. “And then it’s me. And it hurts so bad, Mr. Stark!” He shook his head, trying to calm himself, but Tony could tell it wasn’t working. “Every part of my body is tearing itself apart and it won’t stop and -” Peter interrupted himself with a strangled gasp, and Tony immediately wrapped his arms around the kid, murmuring incoherent words of comfort as he rubbed Peter’s back in an attempt to calm him down.
Much to his relief, Peter did stop gasping, but the kid continued to tremble in his arms.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark,” he whispered pitifully. “I’m sorry that I’m acting like a child.”
Tony hugged him tighter in response. “Peter, for one, it’s okay to act like a child because you still are one.” He sighed. “But this isn’t childish, Pete. You’re reacting to a traumatic experience. Anyone would do the same.”
Peter pulled away from him, the scowl painted on his lips a stark contrast to his tear-stained cheeks. “That’s not true. I don’t see you crying right now.”
Tony frowned. “Really, kid? Really?” He sighed and shook his head. “In case you’ve forgotten, Mr. Parker, you’ve only been back for a short period of time. I’ve been back for months.” He laughed bitterly. “God, Pete, I went through the five stages of grief all at once a hundred times over. Every night I’d have nightmares and end up dry heaving over the toilet for an hour. Pepper was there, and somehow she still loves me despite all of it.”
Peter bit his lip, a guilty expression dancing on his features. “Mr. Stark… What were your nightmares about?”
Tony hesitated. He had a feeling the kid already knew, but Peter had opened himself to him, so talking about his own fears would probably be a good precedent to set. He sighed. “Everything on Titan. Being stabbed, Thanos escaping, everyone crumbling to dust.” He stared down at his arms, able to see Peter disappearing from existence far too clearly. “The worst part…”
He shuddered, trying to keep his breathing even. Panicking would do him no good, and would make a terrible impression on his kid. “Every time, Pete, I can see you disappearing in my arms. I was holding you, and you just… Faded away. I couldn’t save you.”
Tony swallowed the lump in his throat, avoiding eye contact with Peter. “And then in the dream you… Come back, I guess, and you ask me why I didn’t save you because I could have saved you and I should have saved you and then you ask if I only care about you because you’re Spider-Man which of course isn’t true but all the same I still ask myself what I could have done so that you might have survived that day.” He took a deep, shaky breath. “Yeah. I don’t really like sunsets.”
Silence fell, and Tony wondered if he’d said too much. Then Peter wrapped his arms around him, his enhanced strength causing Tony to wince as his back cracked before he hesitantly returned the hug.
Peter buried his face in Tony’s shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault, Mr. Stark. There wasn’t anything you could have done.” He pulled back and offered the older man a warm - if watery - smile. “Besides, you brought me back now, right?”
Tony sighed. “But if I’d just worked harder -”
“No,” Peter interrupted. “Mr. Stark, you can’t blame yourself! Dr. Strange said that we would only win in one future out of fourteen million, and that’s the one we’re in now. There wasn’t any other way.”
Tony’s fist was clenched. “It’s just not fair, Pete. You shouldn’t have had to die. And the fact that you could feel it and no one else could…” He shuddered. “God, Pete. I’m so sorry.”
Peter flinched at the memory, then bit his lip. “Well, no one’s come out of this unscathed.” He offered Tony a small smile. “I think it’s something we’ll have work through together.” He faltered. “Right?”
Tony managed a chuckle as he ruffled his kid’s hair. “Right.” He glanced at his watch, wanting to change the subject. There was only so much ‘emotional talk’ he could handle in one day. “You know, this party has been going on for a while. Would you rather we kick everyone out of the compound - I do own the place, after all - or should we go back to the tower? Either way is fine with me.”
Peter laughed, and relief flooded through Tony’s body at the sound. “I think it’d be a little mean to kick everyone out, Mr. Stark.”
“Tower it is, then,” Tony said, clapping his hands together before rising from the bed. “I say we watch a movie. Any preferences?”
Peter jumped to his feet, bouncing on his heels as his eyes sparkled. “We’re gonna watch the best superhero movie of all time.”
Tony raised an eyebrow. “I feel like we’ve had this conversation before. Are we going to watch the third biopic about my life?”
Peter’s jaw dropped. “There’s a third one?”
Tony shrugged. “Yeah.” He smirked at the kid. “What, do you not have three biopics about you yet, Underoos?”
Peter rolled his eyes. “No, Mr. Stark. I’m afraid I don’t.”
Tony waved his hand dismissively. “It’s not all it’s hyped up to be.” He placed his arm around Peter’s shoulders as they left the room, the lights automatically shutting off behind them. “So what’s ‘the best superhero movie of all time,’ as you put it, that you want to watch so badly?”
Peter beamed at him. “The Incredibles!” Then he pouted. “It’s too bad that it’ll probably never get a sequel.”
“Well…” Tony winked at him. “I’m sure I can make a few calls, if you’d like.”
Peter’s eyes widened. “Mr. Stark, you’re the best person in the whole world!”
“Nah, kid.” Tony smiled warmly at him. “That would be you.”
xXxXxXx
I completely agree with Peter that The Incredibles is the best superhero movie of all time. It’s canon, sorry not sorry. Thank you so much for reading! :)
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