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machine-gun-casie · 4 years ago

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tavern music

synopsis: corpse hears tavern music coming from your room (gn!reader)

warnings: rpf, reader gets cheated on, kind of unrequited feelings, mostly hurt/comfort and physical affection tho (what im trying to say is that this is mostly self indulgent)

wc: 1.7k

a/n: havent written in a while but i found this in my arsenal, fixed it up a bit and viola. original plans for this was definitely something longer that would end with them being together but im not up for writing rn. been feeling really shitty lately and ive been needing something like this in my life. hope u guys like it ♡

He couldn’t hear it at first. His headset was on and everyone was being so loud on the discord call. When he started the stream, he really thought it was gonna be a long one. But he’s only two hours in and he’s ready to get the hell off because something was definitely wrong.

“Corpse?” His name being spoken finally broke him out of his trance, he only hummed in response. “You’ve been really quiet. Are you sure you’re up for another game?”

“Actually,” he starts as he closes a few tabs, “I think I’ve gotta go. Today was fun, though. Thanks for having me guys.”

After a chorus of ‘goodbye’s and ‘see you later’s, Corpse disconnected from the discord call. “Thank you guys for being here,” he addressed the chat, “sorry I’m ending so early today. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time. Take care of yourselves. Later.”

After hanging up his headset and getting out of the chair he’s been sitting in for far too long, Corpse made the short trek to your room.

You had only been roommates for less than four months, but Corpse could confidently say that you have become one of his closest friends. Getting a roommate was the last resort that he never wanted to actually resort to. But alas, medical bills were piling up and youtube and music don’t make half as much money as people think they do. So cutting rent in half was the best plan he could come up with. He did have an extra guest room that no one ever stayed in. Of course having someone move into his personal space was terrifying to him. He didn’t just want to post an ad on craigslist or something. So he asked a couple trusted friends to ask a couple trusted friends… And that’s when you came in.

You were the trusted friend of a trusted friend of a trusted friend. When you met, you didn’t make a comment about his voice. Your face sure as hell showed your surprise but you didn’t say anything. To Corpse, this meant one of two things. You either knew who he was but didn’t want to freak him out, or you didn’t know about his online persona and were just genuinely shocked by his voice. It only took a few minutes of knowing you to know that it was the latter. Thank god. You were like anyone your age with social media. You had a few accounts, followed a few people, but mostly used it to stay in contact with friends.

It only took you guys a week to realize you had way too much in common. After many a late night when he wasn’t streaming, and many an early morning when he was just done streaming, you two became inseparable. Nothing could keep you apart.

Except for one thing.

You had a boyfriend.

There was nothing wrong with your boyfriend, per se. Just the fact that he was your boyfriend and Corpse was not.

Yeah, Corpse definitely had feelings for you.

But right now, feelings didn’t matter when he could hear tavern music coming from your room.

He knocked lightly and pushed the door open slowly. “y/n? Can I come in?”

No response came, just sniffles and sobs. The lack of refusal on your part gave him the courage he needed to open the door wider and step into your room. He had only been in your room a couple of times since you had moved in. But he had never been in a room that gave off the feeling of a person so well.

You were curled up on your bed, facing your open laptop screen and the tavern music coming from its speakers. With every sob shaking your chest, Corpse felt his heart break. “y/n,” he murmured softly, “what’s wrong?”

“It’s not working.” Came your reply, heavy with tears. “You said it would make you feel like you're going on an adventure but I still feel like crap.”

“What happened?” Corpse asked as he sat down on your bed, facing you. You slowly sat up and crossed your legs at your ankles in front of you.

“He-” You sighed heavily. “He cheated on me.”

“What?”

“He cheated on me -has been cheating on me- with my best friend. My little brother found out.” You groaned and dramatically dropped your head onto Corpse’s thigh. His hand immediately came in contact with your cheek as he brushed a few stray tears away.

There was rarely any physical contact between you and Corpse. Sometimes you’d give him a high five, sometimes he’d give you fist bump. And there was that one time you came up behind him at the grocery store and hugged his arm to your chest. You immediately whispered something along the lines of ‘creep won’t leave me alone’ followed by a loud ‘hey babe!’

Corpse could barely admit to himself how much he liked that.

But this? This felt good. Corpse’s large warm hand on your face somehow made you want to cry more but in a good way. The tenderness with which he held your face made your heart squeeze as it remembered moments like this with your boyf- ex boyfriend. But then it remembered your brother’s words.

“Hey, what’s up?” You spoke as you answered his call. Your brother wasn’t much of a caller, so it made you worry.

“Hey, where are you right now?”

“I’m home, why?”

“y/n… There’s something I gotta tell you.” He sighed and you could clearly hear the guilt.

“Did you break my DS!” It was your first thought as you had given it to him the last time you had seen him. “Dude! I’ve had that since I was seven!”

“No no, I called about something else.” He cut you off mid-whine. “But also I did lose the pen.” You huffed out a sigh of frustration but stayed silent so he could tell you what he wanted to tell you. “I saw your boyfriend at the park today.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “And?” How did this warrant a phone call?

“He was with Bob.”

When you had met your best friend, your brother was only a toddler. He had decided that her name was Bob, so it stuck. You always called her Bob, she was saved as Bob in your phone, your whole family called her Bob. But you still didn't understand. Why was he calling you to tell you that your boyfriend and your best friend were at the park?

“Why are you calling me about this? You know that they’re friends, right?” You let out a chuckle, albeit still pretty confused. “They’re allowed to hang out without me.”

“They weren’t hanging out.” You could hear your brother push out a strained sigh. What wasn’t he telling you? “They were making out on the swing set. As in, both of them on one swing. And I double checked, it was definitely them. I-I told mom and she said not to tell you, but I couldn’t not tell you when I’m the one who saw it!”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say a word.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

There was no lying to yourself, you had doubts about your best friend and your boyfriend. But you constantly brushed it off. He wouldn’t hurt you like that. Hell, she couldn’t hurt like that. Not after everything you had been through together.

But you had seen his call log by accident one time, he called her more than he did you. She face-timed him one time to ask his opinion about a dress she was going to buy while you were in the changing room. She had done a handful of things since your relationship with your boyfriend started that made you uneasy. If this was their first kiss, which was something you doubted, then they’ve both been emotionally attached to the other for far too long.

All those tender intimate moments, all those dates, throughout everything, he wasn’t faithful. Not emotionally, at least. None of those moments that you cherished meant anything to you anymore. He had played you. With none other than your best friend since middle school. You didn’t know who to be more mad at.

The thoughts of betrayal from someone who you considered a sister and the hurt of being cheated on made you nauseated.

So when the large warm hand on your face stroked your cheek again, you didn’t mind it. This was Corpse. Not your cheating boyfriend. Not your lying best friend. Corpse. And you knew that he would never hurt you.

“He’s been cheating on me for a while I think.” You mumbled against his sweatpants. “Maybe a couple months. I don’t know.”

Corpse furrowed his brows in thought. You had told him you were going to visit your boyfriend for your one year anniversary next week. “Weren’t you go-”

“Yeah.”

“And Bob’s been your friend since-”

“Yeah.” Your chin wobbled as you answered. You brought your arms up around Corpse’s thigh and hugged it. It was a strange position, but you didn’t care. He was so warm and nice and hugging him properly required more movement on your end than you were willing to do.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Corpse sighed and reached out to untangle your arms from his leg. He gently pulled you across the few inches of bed between you and sat you in his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, immediately sobbing into his shoulder. “Do you want me to turn off the music?” You shook your head no against him and he chuckled before he solemnly sighed. “When did you find out?”

“When I came home.”

“But you came home hours ago. Have you been in here this whole time?” You nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were streaming, didn’t wanna interrupt.” You shrugged.

“y/n,” he sighed disappointedly, “you’re my best friend. I can end a stream if you need me.”

“Okay.” Your voice, broken and weak and tired, made him feel so guilty. You had been crying your heart out for over two hours just down the hall from where he was.

He gently grabbed you by your hips and tried to push you away, but you only held on tighter and whimpered. “I just wanna get you some water.”

“I don’t want water.”

“Then what do you want?”

“You.” You whispered. “Please stay.”

Fuck. How could he say no to that?

So he stayed.

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpsehusband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband fluff #corpse fanfiction #corpse fanfic #corpse fluff #gender neutral reader

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arcadejohn127-9 · 4 years ago

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Just

Just think about Luke seeing Mc as an older sibling figure, and then think about how he'd have to see em die from old age or an illness

H u r t

You know what? I'm going to hurt your feelings right back

You did this, this is your fault. I'm crying so now you gotta cry with me!

I'm making it hurt EXTRA

I'm not done with this angst wagon! I have so much angst stored up in me rn and you're all going to have to deal with it 😂 let us cry together

Warning: death, angst, sad Luke

"(Y/N)! Im back! Your guardian angel has arrived!"

You smiled, turning from the window as you heard the gentle footsteps come further into your little home.

"oh..? I thought the celestial realm called you back."

"I was able to get time off my duties to come see you, I do have a duty to protect you after all."

Luke smiled brightly at you, a bag in hand as he walked into your room. His face faltered for a moment seeing you were out of bed but kept his smile, placing the bag down on the table.

"awww, you're still such a sweet young boy."

You reached out to him, your wrinkled hands shaking slightly. He huffed at your cooing but none the less, bowed down so you could pinch his cheeks. You smiled wider; happy there was still some baby fat on him.

"I'm not a boy! I'm a grown man."

He was pouting childishly; some habits never dying. But sadly, he was right. By now he has finally grown up. He wasn't exactly an adult but he was close. He was no longer the small boy you use to know in the Devildom, he was now a tall gentle man. He reminded you alot of Simeon but definitely didn't go after his sense of fashion.

He was grown. And you've grown....grown to become old and Sickly. He still had such a youthful face despite being thousands years older. It was truly unfair but you would rather he looked as young as he did than look like you. Saggy and wrinkled. Death on your lips, it made them dry. It tasted bland and sour.

"what did you bring me this time? I hope it's a new recipe."

"I actually visited the Devildom before coming here, I made your favourite with Barbatos."

He unpacked the bag, revealing the sweet treat. It was going to be far too sweet for your taste buds now but you couldn't refuse. He frowned slightly, placing his hands on your shoulders.

"you should be in bed, the doctors said you need to rest."

"I'm not doing anything, those doctors shouldn't think of me to be so fragile! I spent years in hell." You grumbled, grinding your drenchers.

You missed the demons; it's been awhile since they've visited. It was unusual....for years outside or in hell you were surrounded by them. Always pestering you and wanting your attention. Endless plans that always ended with Lucifer fixing it. You missed them.....so so much..... you just wished your magic didn't grow so weak.

"yeah.... you're unbeatable so being in bed won't be anything."

He had you there. But it was growing tiresome of just sitting in bed. You were wasting away in it; the doctors weren't sure what was going to take you out first. Old age or illness. All Anyone could hope for that it's peaceful and in your sleep.

Luke helped you back in bed, smiling as he tucked you in. He placed the desserts holder on your lap before whisking himself away to the kitchen. He made you both some tea and picked up cutlery on the way back. You thanked him when he handed you the cup, humming happily at the warmth. The world felt so cold now.

"Have the brothers visited lately? Barbatos seemed.... solemn - did something happen?"

"No, it's been mostly you or Simeon seeing me but I don't blame them, it must be hard to see me - I know Simeon tried to stop you aswell, Saying it'll be too hard on your heart."

"nothing is going to stop me not even Simeon! you're family, and those demons-! They should be seeing you!"

He didn't even realize he stomped his foot, pouting and puffing out his cheeks. No matter how much he wanted to be called a man, he was still young. You hoped you'll get to see him fully mature into a powerful angel he was destined to be. You knew he'd be a great help to the celestial realm and make people just as happy as he's made you.

You always saw yourself as just an older sibling and he seemed to feel the same but now you felt more like a parent. Watching your child grow up and be better than you ever were. He made you so proud.

"ah~ theres the young boy I know, always pouting and complaining about demons, it was so nice to see you freely enjoy yourself the third term, you looked so much happier."

"he can see all sorts, perhaps something bad is going to happen soon but it could always be, he saw a rat in the castle - oh the way he could loose all composure-!"

"if it wasn't due to a recent visit then- why was barbatos so glum? Do you think he's okay?"

You both bursted out laughing, imagining the usually stoic butler frantically smacking the floor with a broom whilst ontop of a counter. Your laughed grew louder and louder until you choked on it; coughing harshly into your shaky palm as your chest tightened.

Luke quickly helped you sit up properly, rubbing your back as your coughing slowly died out. He told you to keep it easy but noticed how quickly your mood soured. He patted your lap and held up the forks; forcing a small smile on his face.

"let's eat, shall we?"

you both dug in, he kept his bites small as it was for you after all. You didn't even realize you teared up; the flavour was the exact same if not better than you remember. Barbatos always knew how to make it perfect for you; even now as your sugar fondness has simmered it still tasted just as good.

He really was amazing....

Luke wiped your stray tears as you stared at the treat, a distant look in your eyes. The angel was starting to panic; no matter his efforts you were becoming unhappy. Was it him? Was it talking about the Devildom? But he knew if he tried to never talk about it you'd just insist on knowing. He didn't want to keep making you upset.

"I'm sorry, just - I've been so nostalgic lately, I really appreciate what you've done, don't be upset with yourself, Luke, just ignore this old human."

"I can talk about the celestial realm, would that make you feel better? Or-or- new Cake ideas-!"

"I'd like that very much, has the celestial realm change much?"

"it's been really busy, I'm actually getting my own apprentice soon! She's been a late bloomer with her wings but she's been amazing with prophecies - I've ranked up actually! I'm almost to my goal....soon- I'm going to be just like Michael and I can help humans across the globe!"

He was beaming, his hands becoming more animated as he talked. You hummed softly to yourself, nodding as your eyes drifted to the wall. His voice soothing you.

"And- and the demon angel partnership has been a huge success! Theres been more pairs ups this year than any other! Things are really improving in the other realms- you know it's all thanks to you, right? You did this."

He waited for your response, but you didn't say anything. You just stared at the wall behind him. Luke's head tilted to the side, dread creeping up his spine.

"(Y/N)-?" He gently shook your hand, trying not to startle you incase you were just zoning out again.

But that's when it hit him. His fingers wrapped around your wrist, there was nothing. No pulse.

"(Y/N)?!"

The young angel screamed as tears flooded down his cheeks, shaking your body. He kept calling out your name but you never responded. He tried everything he could; giving CPR, using his magic - he even consider using the life trees leaves from the celestial realm.

He just - you couldn't be- he wouldn't let you! He's your guardian angel! Yours not supposed to be -! Not yet!!!

NOT YET!!

Your soul spilled out of your chest, he sobbed as it formed into an orb. He hugged it close to his chest as he cried, Begging it to return to your body.

"please.... please-! I'm asking nicely- why won't you go back?! It isn't time! Please!"

No matter how hard he pressed your soul back to your chest it refused to enter your body.

You were gone.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #gamingclubpresident #aracadejohn217 9 #obey me mc #obey me luke #obey me imagine #obey me angst #angst #tw: death

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vickyskpopkingdom · 4 years ago

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Baekhyun :: working blues

request: Hii! Im rlly into baekhyun's new album rn and i was hoping u could write a fluff where ur just having a rough day and he sings u to sleep pls!! Rlly like ur fluff writes btw 💕💕

thank you so much for your kind words! i haven't written about exo in a long, long time but i hope that you still like what i came up with!

warnings: overworking, stress

1.8k words, gn reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes you felt like the world was collapsing on you. The weight on your shoulders got too heavy at times and you were just tired. So tired, so tired. Today was one of those days.

The work you had to do didn't seem to end. At this point you couldn't even count how many e-mails you had answered, how many texts you have read, how many calls you made and how many words you have written. Your eyes were so tired they started to water at the sight of the bright screen of your laptop in front of you. When had it become so dark around you? Hasn't it been noon just a few minutes ago?

A quick glance through your bedroom window and towards the clock on your wall told you something different. It was already eight p.m., the streetlamp outside your window was the only source of light right now other than your laptop. With a sigh you leaned back into your chair and tried stretching your arms as well as your neck and legs. Every joint in your body seemed to make a protesting cracking noise and as you tried to massage your neck, your muscles burned with protest.

You sighed again. Maybe you really should invest in one of those fancy office chairs that claimed to be a blessing for your whole body. At the thought of the price however you shook that thought out of your head.

Standing up you got through another round of stretching your whole body and decided to check out the kitchen for food. It only hit you as the dim light of the fridge illuminated your face that you were supposed to go grocery shopping today. Empty shelves greeted you back and your stomach grumbled angrily.

You tried hard not to scream out of frustation. Nothing wanted to work your way these days and you were honestly so tired of it. For some time you were able to tell yourself that everything would work out and that you would find your working blues again but that was yet to happen. Quietly you closed the fridge door again, sliding down against it to the floor.

The project you had been assigned at the start of last week was way more complicated than you had anticipated, the sources you were thinking of using turned out to be a scam. Adding to that the promotion you had been so sure of getting had been given to someone else and while you could understand that they deserved it, you were sure that you would have deserved it as well. Not only was your fridge emtpty but you had been neglecting your healthy eating habits for quite some time now, which only frustated you more.

And today all of these things seemed to add up all at once, crushing you under their weight.

When was the last time you really had a good nights sleep? You had worked late and gotten up early, eating only bits and pieces of instant food, sitting at your desk all day and falling into bed only to repeat the same cycle over and over again. Right now you were fighting to keep the tears at bay but the merry-go-round in your head kept spinning, piling up more and more worries.

When was the last time you had seen your friends? When was the last time you even properly talked to them? You were always telling them that you were busy with work when they asked to hang out. They never pressured you to still come with them but you knew that they would love to see you again even for a few hours. Yet you still could not get yourself to take their invitations, the thought of your unfinished project sitting in the back of your head constantly.

When was the last time your boyfriend--?

Just as the tears started flowing down your face the doorbell rang. Its sound surprised you so much that you jumped up, your heart beating fast. The clock in your kitchen read nine p.m. One hour went by while you were staring holes in the walls and drowned in your thoughts.

You couldn't really think of a reason why someone would visit you this late, on a weekday nonetheless. But not answering the door wasn't an option either, you would just start to worry about 'what-ifs'. So you decided to take a peak through the peephole in your door.

Your heart picked up its pace at you saw a familiar face illuminated by the light of a smartphone-screen, lookin worried and confused. Fumbling with your keys you opened the door and the person looked up from their phone.

"Hey Bambi, are you okay?"

Baekhyuns voice filled your ears as soon as he looked into your face. He eyed you up and down, making sure you were alright. "I texted and tried to call you for at least two hours now. There was no reaction from you whatsoever."

As you allowed him to step into your home, you sighed. "Sorry, I threw my phone across the room at one point and didn't pick it up again."

Your boyfriend chuckled as he got rid of his shoes and coat, placing both neatly onto their usual spots in the entrance of your flat. Just the sight of him, doing everyday things, smiling, talking was an instant boost for your mood. Now that he was here you fully realized just how much you had missed his presence.

"Why would you throw your phone?", Baekhyun questioned.

You made a dismissive move with your hand, not wanting to talk about the infuriating call you had to make a few hours ago. "I was frustrated", you only said.

Together you and Baekhyun made your way towards your bedroom. Just as you stepped into the room and turned on the lights you remembered the state you left your working place in. But it was too late to make him turn around now. Quickly you tried to tidy up the place a little bit, hiding the traces of your overworking as Baekhyun cleared his throat to gain your attention.

"Are you drowning yourself in work again?"

You stopped dead in your tracks. This wasn't the first time he had seen you piling up work on your shoulders and ending up being unable to do anything else. Back then you had promised him to take better care of yourself or at least take real breaks once in a while to catch a breath.

"Maybe...."

Now it was Baekhyuns turn to sigh. "Did you eat today? And before you answer i mean 'eat a proper meal'."

Picking up your phone from the floor you sat yourself down on the bed. "No, not really. It's just this project..."

Baekhyun shook his head at you, but you still noticed the small smile on his face. "You are such a hard-working person. But you need to allow yourself some time to breathe, you know?"

His voice was calm, sounding like music to your ears. Even after all this time you had been in a relationship with him you were still surprised by how easily he could make you relax.

"Yes, I know."

"And since I am such a caring and awesome boyfriend", he said, rustling with a plastic bag you only now noticed in his hands, "I brought you some food."

As you looked into his smiling face you couldn't help but ask yourself how you got so lucky.

The meal was good, it was your favorite and having Baekhyun by your side made you feel even more grounded. It almost felt like you gained new energy after a week of complete exhaustion and constant worrying. While you were eating the both of you talked about everything and nothing, catching up, telling stories and sharing your newest netflix suggestions.

The evening proceeded and your eyes landed on the clock again. It was late, if you were still caught up in your workaholic-lifestyle you would have already been asleep right now. However surprisingly you currently were not even close to worrying about getting up the next morning. What bothered you most right now was that this evening would end and eventually you would have to go to sleep an wake up in the morning, getting back to your work.

Baekhyun seemed to notice the frown on your face sooner than you could hide it again. "What's wrong?"

You shrugged. "This is nice, simply being together with you. But you probably have to leave soon and then tomorrow I have to work on this stupid project again."

"I can stay the night, if you want me to of course."

"I didn't want to pressure you into--"

"You didn't", he interrupted you, before you could end the sentence and feel like you made him stay against his will, "I actually wanted to ask if I could stay anyways. Tomorrow is one of my free days. I could even keep you company while you work."

Your chest felt warm at his words. "I would love that."

Soon you two found yourselves back in your bed, bodies entangled with each other, quiet breaths sounding through the room. You could feel your eyelids growing heavy, but as soon as you closed your eyes all you could think of was the next morning, the project, the unanswered emails, the calls.

"Still can't calm down, Bambi?", Baekhyun whispered in your ear, while slowly stroking your hair.

With closed eyes you shook your head. "I can't take my mind off of work."

The next thing you heard was quiet humming coming from Baekhyun. You could feel the vibration of his vocal chords against your own body. His voice really was a blessing for everyones ears, he could carry emotions through singing that you weren't even able to put into words. His songs made you happy, they made you cry occasionally, they made you feel calm or made you miss something you didn't even knew existed. It was a gift.

His humming transformed into words, calmly sang into the otherwise dark and quiet room.

It's a night filled with a single stream of light

You're my timely rain, Bambi

I don't want to waste even a second of this night just

being the two of us

As you listened to his singing, you could finally feel your muscles relaxing, your brain calming down and your whole body drifting towards sleep. There were no worrysome thoughts turning your mind upside down anymore, there was only Baekhyun and his voice filling your head with images of your favorite places, your favorite memories and him. The warmth of his body under the blankets made you feel safe, at home. This was were you belonged.

And while Baekhyun continued with the song you fell into a deep sleep, one that you deserved after all the work you had done. You already knew that you found your blues again. Everything would work out again, just like you had always thought yourself. And all you had needed was just a small push in the right direction from the right person.

I don't want to wake up from this dream, keep this tempo

I hope the sun doesn't rise while I keep my eyes closed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really hope you enjoyed this one! It was nice to write something again but I do feel like i am a little bit out of training i guess haha

and also if you feel like the reader in this scenario, please remember that there will be better days & that life is more than working day to day! take a break, make some tea, get some fresh air and get back to your work with a fresh mind; you can do it!!

#baekhyun #byun baekhyun #bbh #baekyhun imagine #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun fluff #x reader #baekhyun x reader #gn reader #exo #baekhyun bambi #exo scenario #exo imagine #exo x reader #baekhyun fic

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ooeyspace · 4 years ago

Text

reminiscing ;; akaashi keiji

ship: akaashi x gn!reader

wc: 1.5k

warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST . that it that’s the warning.

summary: there’s a saying that goes, “some people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Akaashi knew you should’ve only been around for a season, but he found himself hoping you’d be around for a lifetime.

a/n: imma say it rn ..... im sorry im sorry this one made me so sad ... i really hope u guys like it!! its my first real oneshot that I actually put effort into, so if you guys have any tips or criticisms i am all ears!! pls enjoy <3

~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

“I think we should break up.”

Akaashi refused to look up at you as he had spoken the very words he had been dreading and you had been expecting. Both of you knew from the get go that your time together was going to be short considering your paths for the future didn’t really align. Even so, you decided to spend as much time together as possible before going your separate ways. Before you knew it, two years went by in a flash -- graduation had passed and your time together was almost up. Even though you had expected those words to fall from his lips, hearing them didn’t hurt any less.

Those few seconds of silence felt like hours as he waited to hear your response. He used that time to glance up at you from his spot on his bed. In addition to the quiet tears that fell from your eyes, he was shocked to see a small smile tugging at your lips. You lifted your eyes from the ground to look at him.

“Well, we had a good run didn’t we, Keiji?” All the emotions Akaashi had been stifling came out in that moment as deafening sobs that radiated throughout his chest. You moved to sit next to him on his bed as the two of you sobbed in each others arms. That night, you had fallen asleep comfortably in his bed for the last time, not wanting the morning to come because you knew that the moment the morning light shines through his window you would have to say your final goodbyes.

----------

Years have passed since that day, but not a single day has gone by where Akaashi hasn’t thought of you. He tried his best to move on and live his life, but he just couldn’t help it; he saw you in everything. Sometimes he’d hear your favorite song on the radio, or he’d pass by a store window and see something he just knows you’d love. Hell, he even thought about you at work, a tiny sliver of him hoping that you’d come crashing in asking how much longer before he finishes his assignments. He doesn’t necessarily regret breaking up with you; he knows that was best for both of you in order to truly reach your fullest potentials. But still..... a part of him wondered what life might’ve been like if he had been just a little more selfish that day.

The sound of a buzzer had brought him back to reality. Down below he saw his best friend Bokuto screaming and running around with his teammates.

They must’ve won he thought. He picks himself up out of the seat, walks down the bleachers, and moves towards the area surrounding the changing rooms to wait for his friend when he stops dead in his tracks. There’s no way right? You had gone abroad for school.... why were you here? Why were you here right now? As the shock wears off he realizes that it most definitely is you by the way the butterflies in his stomach begin to flutter.

He remains motionless while tracking your movements, afraid that if he were to move you would disappear like the countless other times he had seen you in his dreams. You looked absolutely radiant; just as beautiful as before of course, but there was something about you that was different this time that he couldn’t quite place. With light feet and slow steps he made his way towards you until you had started making steps of your own in a different direction. Akaashi stopped and waited. You had that oh so beautiful smile on your face that brought redness to his cheeks in an instant. His mind was flooded with all the different memories where he had been the one to put that smile on your face, but the one he remembers most clearly was smile you gave him the day he confessed:

“’Kaashi, ‘kaashi, look! I actually passed!” You ran up to him excitedly holding your English test in your hands trying to catch him before he walked into the gym for practice.

“I told you you could do it,” he said nonchalantly, despite the evident blush painting his features.

“But I didn’t think I could and now here I am! And its all thanks to you! Now we just HAVE to celebrate!” You continued to ramble on about what you could do to commemorate your surprising achievement when Akaashi finally had enough and put both of his hands on your shoulders, making you stop mid sentence with wide eyes.

“I’ll take you on a date to celebrate. How does that sound?” At first, Akaashi had said it just to get you to stop talking so he could go to practice. It had just fallen out of his mouth and now here he was with both of his hands on your shoulders, having just accidentally confessed AND asked you out. He immediately took his hands off and looked away in embarrassment with extreme heat rising in his cheeks.

“Uhh only if you want to I mean it was only a suggestion if you don’t want to that’s totally fine I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship--” You gently grabbed his hand cutting off his adorable rant causing him to look up at you. Immediately his heart softened as he saw your wide smile.

“I would love that ....... Keji.”

Snapping himself out of his brief daydream, he continued to watch you fondly as your smile grew bigger and your steps much quicker. His heart sank when he came to the realization that those memories he cherished were just that -- only memories. Your brilliant smile and excited steps weren’t because of him this time. All those days you ran to him with that captivating expression of yours on your face -- they were all just distant memories. This time you were running up to Atsumu Miya, congratulating him on the win and saying how glad you were to finally see him play in person.

Akaashi felt like such a fool; of course you had moved on. You were amazing in every sense of the word it was only natural for someone else to see that too and act on it.

He watched as you gave Atsumu those tight hugs you used to give him on a bad day. He watched as you kissed Atsumu on the cheek like you used to when he would drop you off on your porch after a date. He watched as you gave Atsumu that same radiant smile you gave him the day he confessed. Hand in hand, you and Atsumu began walking towards the exit of the gym chatting light heartedly, completely and blissfully unaware of the shattering of Akaashi’s heart.

The tears he had been holding back began welling up in his eyes as you finally glanced over in his direction. Mild shock overcame your features for just a moment and then it softened into a subtly melancholic expression. You certainly weren’t expecting to see him here and you were sure he wasn’t expecting to see you given the subtle facial expressions he had that you knew like the back of your hand. Akaashi stared back at you, trying his best to remain stoic only giving you a small wave. Of course, just like he knew you would and just like he was dreading, you gave him a smile. However, it wasn’t anything like the ones you would give him before. This one was small and weak; almost apologetic. Akaashi watched as you turned away continuing your lively chat with Atsumu like nothing had happened. He watched your figure disappear once again, but this time he knew it was really for good. He finally let the tears fall from his eyes and released the breath he didn’t even know he was holding as Bokuto walked out as energetic as always.

Akaashi quickly composed himself and congratulated Bokuto on the win. When Bokuto questioned his friend’s slightly red eyes and wet cheeks, Akaashi dismissed his concerns by saying something about allergies and quickly changed the subject to their plans after the game in order to keep Bokuto distracted from the pain that was evident his face.

After finalizing their plans, the two said their goodbyes and split up to find their cars. For once in his life, Akaashi’s mind was completely empty. He wasn’t thinking of you or anyone or anything else; just taking in the information his eyes were seeing and mechanically moving in the direction of his car. Finally reaching his destination, he paused his actions with his hand on the car handle and looked up to the sky. Letting his tears flow freely, he smiled

“We really did have a good run, didn’t we y/n?”

~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~ + ~

a/n: IM SORRYYY I KNOW I KNOW i just have really been craving some akaashi angst ..... hope y’all enjoyed!

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i8jisoo · 4 years ago

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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

minho x reader | second part of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; talk of sex (not like having it but just bein a lil horndog), talk of blood & miscarriage, cursing, labor, and breastfeeding ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵

↬ notes; minho such a cutie & his lil kitties i softie

minho and you were planning this, knowing that there was going to be a year break for them, so why not finally do what u to havent been able to do?

start a family

u both were goin thru tests as if they didn’t cost 3$ each

make his pockets hurt amiright?

finally, a positive test

u were soo excited 🥺 u had gotten so many false positives so u took two more before u knew it was a real positive

ofc minho was at practice, tho there wasn’t anything happening in his career rn he still had to practice

u kinda hated his career now bc that meant u were gonna be lonely asf while pregnant :(

minho walked thru the door to ur guys place, seeing u asleep on the couch

he steps on something like wtf

there it was, the test on the floor that had fell from ur grip when u slept

he ends up just covering you with a blanket n giving u a kiss cause u must be tired right??? ur carrying a baby now, o ff i cial ly so 😳

he decides hes gonna cook dinner but then hes like fuck what if you get sick :(

now hes starting to worry n feels like hes gonna be the worst husband to go thru pregnancy with

hes mad distracted by thinking whether to cook something spicy or like pasta SOMETHING 😳

he feels arms wrapping around him n hes instantly turning around to look at you

“ohmygodohmygod.”

KISSES KISSES KISSES this man is fucking twirling you around in his arms n he is so excited to tell u that he knows

“we’re gonna have a baby!” he shouts, smiling proudly and seeing ur surprised look but nodding at him

just looking at u now he is whipped like frosting or eggs whipped he is just- wow

u were like sorta ABNORMALLY hungry for minho 😭

not just sex but cuddling, kissing, hugging, and anything in general that had to do with him

he was kinda scared u would break since ur body was now more sensitive and u two had to be careful doing even normal day to day things

u were usually the big spoon, just cause u liked holding minho like a teddy bear n letting soonie, doongie, n dori sometimes come up n minho holds them ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

now it was ur turn to be the little spoon, minho starting to like the feeling of this, he’d play with ur hair n shit or he’d watch shows with u like this

ofc soonie, doongie, and dori still came up sometimes but when ur bump started to get bigger u couldn’t let them on top of u to snuggle 🥺

idc minho gets them cat themed shit

im talkin bibs, onesies, lil hats n mittens all cat themed 😣😣

ur pregnancy was surprisingly easy, just the pain towards the end of the pregnancy was horrible

minho definitely took the last few months off, practicing at home rather than going to the studio everyday, he just wanted to keep an eye on u n make sure nothing happened to all of his babies :(

u slept like a log when u were comfortable, minho only waking u up when he thought u should eat or drink something

he loves the little things u ask him to do like grabbing something from the kitchen or helping u with ur socks n shoes 🥺🥺 sure he hates the fact that u know ur upset ab not being able to see ur toes or ur bump blocking things

but u r adorable when u ask for his help n watch him go do what u need

hes a god at massages hes just so soft n gentle with u but he HITS those spots u know he is ACC U RATT E

u went into labor around thirty-four/thirty-five weeks

u were scared shitless because ofc it was the one day u told minho to go out and have a day to himself n u would just be at home watching a movie with ur babies (aka the kitties and the ACTUAL baby)

u were in a shitton of pain n u didnt expect it cause um hello u were just eating some gummies while dori was pushing her face against the bump

u thought she like scratched u or bumped u too hard n u pushed her a lil bit but when u realized it u were quick to scoop her up and hug her

“okay uhm, i— dori do you think i should call him? maybe it’s those practice ones yeah? we can sit here and wait dori.” to which she just pawed at u n she sat there in ur lap

u quickly realized ur pains were not PRACTICE as u felt the sudden dampness

it was not what u were expecting though, seeing the red discoloration which was blood n seeping through your grey sweatpants

u got up quickly, scared of getting it on anything n going to go change as well as needing to get the bags n call minho

u were fine this morning and now ur bleeding? how could this have happened? how could u have gone into labor or had a miscarriage so quickly

ofc minho picked up quickly when u called him, the second he heard come home he was already out of there n didnt need to hear anymore

u just held onto dori, soonie, and doongie like ur life depended on it (u didnt have a death grip on them btw)

it was probably a good ten minutes of you there with all the cats n here comes minho bursting in, panting bc poor baby ran hella fast inside

he gets the bags without even talking, looking at his lil baby on the sofa kinda scrunched up in tears n in pain he feels so fuckin bad for leaving u today

he lets u hold onto him n he just rambling on about how sorry he is and about how everything is gonna be okay

upon arrival to the hospital, u and minho argued literally the WHOLE way

it wasnt because u were upset he just RAMBLED so much and u two were choosing names n shit like u were IRRITATED now grrr

it was a good fuckin distraction from the fact that u were early + u were bleeding n minho decided to keep up the bickering because u seemed occupied and less afraid

then the dreaded, “c-section”, was what you needed

they assured u everything would be okay but this was a precaution they needed to do and that the baby was mostly likely okay with being delivered

minho crying 🥺 he was rly scared at the thought of anything else going wrong

they have the sheet up and hes so nervous while holding ur hand, goin up on his tippy toes trying to watch :(

“alright, they are almost here!”

there wasnt any cries 🥺 ur hearts dropped n u two just looked at each other waiting for the cries

suddenly u two heard cooing and then loud cries, the doctor rubbing their back to get the blood flowing and to help warm them up

“your baby girl!”

so many kisses n tears, she was fuckin perfect

u both had the biggest smiles and tears coming down ur faces while she slowly calmed down and u both carefully touched her

minho later watched you from the chair next to the bed, trying to feed her like the nurse taught u to do

he looked at u, silently asking you if he could help, you nodding and his hands slowly and carefully helped guide her to latch on

he was takin n o t e s from these nurses

she looked so comfortable n he was just amazed at you he couldn’t believe you created something so perfect, this tiny little girl was your person

they were your person ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭*

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undermattsun-archive · 4 years ago

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japan national team x reader | w.c 1.3k

a/n: omg guys here’s the super cute epic collab fic i made w all my frieednsies <33 we all worked superrrr hard on this so pls don’t be mean!!!!!!!!! pls enjoy its xoxox and don’t forget to follow everyone here on this kidnapped by hq collab <33333333333

warnings: not proofread bc who does that xD (guys pls free me from this hell i’m in so much pain i didn’t even look at this i skimmed over it i left it as is, gg)

Read this while lsitening to the best song evar!!!!!!!!!!!1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_cXhBy78T4&ab_channel=JonasBrothers if you dont listen whil reading ill eat ur family MONCH MONCH MONCH

i go dwnstars, yelling ‘by mum!’ bfor laceing up my wite convrrse hightops (NOT blck becauz u cant sharpi on it) wth 1d lyrics scribbled on it. i rmb to draw a directioner infinite sign on mywrist. perfect, i think to mysdlf.

I never thot i would get to go to the olympics all the way on the other side of the planet in toky o japan! It was a dream come true for a simple, average, run of the mill girrl like me, who is 5’7 with naturally wavy hair, that’s not curly or strait and eyes as blue as the dark blue part of the ocean.

I been dreaming of the olypoics since fetus. I just knew I had to be here, but I never thought it would actually happen. The only thing that would make it better is if I had a smezxy smexy boyfrwend! (A/n: Tee-hee! Maybe even two! (Or five! <333) haha! Aren’t I so quirky? <3)

I’m Wearing A Mint Green Crop Top That Ties In The Front And Some Denim Shorts With Black Converse. I Don’t Need Makeup Because My Skin Is Naturally Smooth And Clear And My Lips Are Already Red #wokeuplikethis And I Listened Only To MCR And P!ATD On The Plane Ride. I Bet You Dont Know Who They Are, THey’re My Favorite Banxds And Are Super GOod And Like Underground Bands. (A/n: Okay But If You Don’t LIke Welcome TO THe BLack Parade GTFO Of My FIc I Don’t Need YOu Here xoxo)

ok so like,, im on my way to the olympics but then like, i get kidnapped !!! the car i was in was like super expensive and i cant see anything with the blindfold on. i hear voices of men all around me though, for like, a whole 30 minutes before they bring me somewhere and tie me up? "Take Her BLindfold off," one of them say, i hear. and im so nervous. but it's like a dream when they tug my blindfold off and im met with the prettiest emerald orbs ever looking back at me.

my stomach knotted in fear (more like an angry swarm of butterflies fluttering around ) i feel like screaming or squealing or both bc those eyes belong to someone so gorgeous . even more gorgeous than harry styles. hes like a god. i woukd so worship his foot. or something. (squee omg i can’t believe this is happening. i bet you wish that it was you huh?)

bro who tf has emerald orbs green eyes im blanking rn

^ yo i was gonna ask i cannot for the life of me remember who

his #afff14 sppheres peered into my soul i really just felt seen. i took a deep breath before fainting he was just so pretty. *one hours later* i woke upa nd saw the pretty viridescent peepers staring into mine. like he was literally two inches away from my face omg i could feel his minty breath on my lips it smelled so good.

“My name is atsumu miya,” he said gruffly, the gruffness in his voice so gravely. “And me and me mates here think yer the most gorgeous girl weve ever seen. I blink up at him, orbs gleaming amd full of tears.

“What do u mean, i’m just a normal quirky girl?” I say shakely, biting my lip. I bit my lip as the piss blond man spoke.

“You don’t know ur beautiful.” YOUR INSECURE DONT KNOW WHAT FOR YOUR TURNING HEADS WHEN YOU WAlk THROUGH THE DO OO OOOOOR

“U may be a normal quirky girl but ur OUR nroaml quirky girl now” his friend said with a deep voice. It was so deep that i almost thot it was like the ocean, he had curly balck hair and his eye were sooo mysterious (a/n i loooove sakusa i can’t believe him and his friends kindapped me omgggg XD)

“Stop it go away” osamu said (hee hee i can never remmber tell which twin is which LOL i think its osamuuu) “no u have to share” sakusa responded angrily. I starred at them and didn’t know what theyd do next!

I looked over to he side ans see sakura pulling out hand sanitizer passing it around to his teamates. The green orbed boys huff as they put it on. i wished i could see his whole face hes so sedy, look over here pretty girl, i gasp pulled from my thoughts by their captain kita walking into the room with his hands on his hips and was theat aran? “You look even better in peroiusn” aran said to me, walking over to me “how do you know who i am?” i ask.

“listen bbygurl...” he yealls, pulling out a chair to sit acros from me. “you dont get to ask the questions, we are your new masters, and you shall do as we say.” i gulp nervously, my stomach feeling like a sharkndao is happening inside. “we hope u will be worth every penny we payed foru.”

“M-m-m-masters?” my head felt like it was spinning in a teacup from disney land as i thought about what he just said to me. what did this mean? was i gooing to miss the olympics?? I wanted ot hate him with his super smug look on his face but i cant deny that he looks kind of hot and i’m into guys who look just like him,, the other guys r also relly attractive it makes my heart race. I look around trying to find answers when i make eye contact w a really really reall y tall guy who i thinks name is gao only to see another really really relly tall guy next to him,, hyakuzawa?

“what are yo going to do to me then?” ((*lenny face))

you ask, stomach bubbling. maybe i shoudnt have ateen that stale pizza earlier and washed it down with watermelon-lemon minute maid because now i felt like it was gonna come up. ((ew gross um tw vomit mention hehe)

“Dont worry were going to grab seme din din soon lil one,” one of them says. His name espapes me. Hes a ginger. They wont answer me for some reason and i suddenly miss my freedom when i would go to school (i go to an expesive private school for rich kids ahahah).

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME??” i yell again batting my fists against the ginger but he doesnt even blink. Ive decided hes hot but in a short king kinda way. His hair reminded me of of like cheeto coloured fine thread woven into waves.,,, like the ocean xD (ans...this has an ocean theme)

sudenly there was another voice it was yalling “BOKE HINATA BOKER” i looked with my stricking dark blue orbs and there wasd inother pair of stricking dark blueor bs like the ocean and blck hair. his voicde was veryy deelp an sexxcy (a/n lololol i luv u gakeyama kun *w*)

theres suddenly a loud voice in ur ear screaming directly into ur eardrum " BAKA KAGYEAMA BAKA" (wtf our they communicating ???? ? ) i cringe at the yellign and another pair of strong arms bulls me away . i land against a hard, solid chest, i can feel the six pack thru his track Suit.

and then my alarm clock playin what makes u beatyful goes off n i woke up.

amen.

i rub my eyes wakng up, starrn into the mirror at my super borng brwn ugly eyes and brsh my equaly borng brwn hair. i lok up at m wall and see harey stylz and niallr starinf back at me on t walls. i sigh dreamily. they wud twll me my brwn uairs beatufil.

#i'm gonna kermit #my eyes hurt #my brain is dying #where am i #kidnapped by hq #tw wattpad

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wonderlustlucas · 4 years ago

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jack pot ; part 3 - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt You know it’s bad when you’re high as a kite and he’s still on your mind. ⇢ pairing hwang hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 6.4k ⇢ genre fluff & angst (not heavy, just in a slow burn kind of way) ⇢ warnings (18+) drug use, a suggestive make out & the mention of a boner twice maybe ⇢ summary College is a matter of working hard and playing hard. It’s an opportunity to start fresh, to grow as an individual and to blossom with those you befriend. People come and people go, leaving their mark on your life and showing you all the parts of becoming an adult. Some, however, do more than leave their mark. Some take just as much as they give. Things become complicated once they take the entirety of your love because you outright offered it to them.—college!au ; stoner!au ; friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n AAAAAAAA omg im so excited to post this, this by far is my fav part of jack pot & i cant wait to hear what u all think!!! sorry its a bit shorter than the other parts, & technically this is the *last* part, but there will be an epilogue where you will see how everything comes to be!!!! have fun reading!!! <3

⇠ part 2

five.

“Oh, fuck, he’s good,” Yeji gasps, shoving her phone into Maddie’s hands before faceplanting into the table.

“Are you H-T-T-P because I’m colon-slash-slash without you,” Maddie reads with a chuckle, thumbs hesitating over the keyboard. “Quick, YN, look up some pick-up lines.”

Closing the tab on the article you should be reading but has been long forgotten, you promptly do as you are told and open the first link from your search, Minho and Jisung leaning in to help. “There,” Jisung stops you, pointing to one, “’Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.’”

The table can’t help but burst into laughter at such a sentence. It’s stupid, but ever since Yeji and Kim Sunwoo began texting, their conversations have been full of tacky puns and emoji-filled compliments.

“Damn,” Maddie whistles, setting the phone back into Yeji’s limp hand, “he’s already typing back.”

“Gross,” Ryujin teases, busy typing away on her laptop. How she manages to multitask so well is a skill you certainly lack. “Why don’t you just like, I don’t know, ask him out?” Jisung asks and when you glance up, he’s looking at you. “Because that’s the guy’s job,” Maddie quickly saves the day, winking to you when you send her a grateful smile.

“Bullshit,” Jeongin scoffs. Everyone, even Ryujin, stops to look at him.

Did he just curse?

“I mean, like,” he stammers, cheeks turning rosy at all the attention, “it’s 2020. Guys have insecurities, too.”

“I agree,” Minho hums, looking to Maddie with hearts in his eyes, “that kind of confidence is enough to make any boy fall in love.”

“Yeah, but—”

Lia rebuts, but your attention quickly falls elsewhere when a text message first appears on your laptop, then your phone.

hwang hyunjin🦔🕺🏻💞🧻 [now] Where r u rn?

Unable to fight your smile, you quickly type back.

[3:39 PM] YN: outside hollin st café [3:39 PM] YN: why? :)

“Have you seen their new house, YN?” Minho asks, prompting you to click your phone off and set it back on the table. “Whose house?”

“Changbin’s parents.”

“Oh,” shaking your head, you distantly curse Chan for keeping your friend busy today. Unlike Jisung, Changbin likes to write lyrics and do whatever other music stuff during the day at a normal time instead of the middle of the fucking night while stoned and trying to finish his computer science assignments at the same time. “No, he forgot to send me pictures.”

“Dude,” Jisung sighs dreamily, “it’s huge. So nice. I think the front door alone could cover tuition.”

“Is it really that nice?” Maddie asks in awe.

“He started to show me pics the other day but couldn’t finish but the kitchen… unnecessary,” Ryujin quips, pausing her work to check her phone. “Yeah, it’s insane. The whole place is unnecessary but the kitchen is like, a house in itself,” Jeongin hums, head shaking in disbelief.

“Damn, now I really want to see it,” you sigh, making a mental note to hunt Changbin down so he can show you. “It’s like Hyunjin and his rings,” Minho snickers, “he has so many. Whenever we’re out, if he sees a ring, boom. It’s his.”

Well, he’s not wrong but… You bite your tongue no matter how badly you wish to defend Hyunjin and his affinity for rings and jewelry in general. The boy has taste, what can you say? You certainly are not complaining about Hyunjin’s long fingers and the way he chooses to decorate them.

“I never thought I’d hear Changbin’s parent’s kitchen be analogous to Hyunjin’s jewelry collection, yet here we are,” Maddie chuckles, leaning over Yeji to peek at her conversation with Sunwoo.

“Wow, speak of the devil,” Jisung pipes up of course as soon as you have reopened the tab to your assignment. Changbin or Hyunjin, you don’t know, head whipping up to find out and a peculiar mix of relief and panic settling over you once you spot the latter. “Uh oh, YN’s gonna go into cardiac arrest.”

As subtly as you can, you elbow Jisung in the stomach and smile at Hyunjin as he nears. “Hey,” keeping his eyes on you, Hyunjin approaches your table and stops behind Maddie opposite from you, “I’m sorry, I should have asked if you were busy.” His cheeks, already flushed, burn pinker once he looks away to smile weakly at everyone else.

“I’m not busy!” You squeak, scrambling to close your laptop and shove it in your bag. “Are you sure? I can come back later?” He offers, tilting his head and this is when you realize he is holding a bubble tea in each hand. And from the looks of it, one seems to be your usual order. “No, she’s not,” Jeongin answers for you, recognizing your stupefied expression.

“I was just – yeah. No,” rushing to stand and swing your legs out around the bench, you nearly fall flat on your face, “I wasn’t doing anything, actually.” Steadying yourself with a hand on Minho’s shoulder, you heave a labored breath before carefully walking to meet Hyunjin.

“Okay,” he beams, either oblivious to how flustered you are or simply choosing to ignore it. Turning to wave to your friends, he hands you one of the cups and you realize it is, in fact, your favorite boba. Oh boy. “See ya later,” you wave to them as well, nose wrinkling when both Jisung and Maddie wink in return.

Following after Hyunjin, you finally allow yourself to take notice of his attire and can’t help but feel confused. He looks good. And not in the good attractive way—he always looks good. But good as in formal. It’s four o’clock on a Tuesday in October and he’s out here looking as if he just got out of a business meeting. White button-down tucked into fitted black slacks, dress shoes, black tie, and he even has a black suit jacket draped over his arm. His hair is styled, too; ever since he dyed it back to black, he’s been growing it out long enough for his bangs to cover his eyes. Now, however, it’s parted down the middle and seems as if he’s ever so slightly curled it away from his face.

Suddenly, you feel ridiculous walking beside him in mom jeans and a baggy sweatshirt from high school.

“Thanks for the boba,” you mumble around your straw, brain still preoccupied trying to get over how utterly handsome he is. “Why do you look so fancy?”

The side of his mouth twitches up at your words, but his eyes stay glued to the sidewalk as you continue to your unknown destination. “I had an audition,” Hyunjin admits, voice devoid of emotion as if it’s not important at all. “An audition?” You echo. “Why do you sound so not super mega excited? How did it go? What was it for?”

“Well—”

“Wait!” You interrupt, stopping your walk once you realize he had an audition and you didn’t know. “You had an audition? What – why didn’t you tell me?”

Hyunjin frowns, avoiding your gaze and dragging his bottom teeth over his top lip. “I didn’t tell anyone,” he finally says before reaching for your hand and tugging you away from the walkway and into your campus’ main courtyard. “Why? Is it some sort of secret or something, Hyunjin?” You scoff, sounding way more annoyed than you intended. But you are annoyed; why didn’t he want to tell anyone?

“No,” he sighs, finding an empty area in the grass and lowering himself to sit, “I just… didn’t want anyone to know. Didn’t want to make it a big deal.”

“Hyunjin,” you sigh, visibly softening for him and settling down next to him, crisscrossing your legs, “it is a big deal. I don’t know what it’s for, but if it’s important enough for you to audition, then it’s important to us, too. You don’t need to be humble twenty-four-seven, you know. I’m sure you could have used our support.”

“I didn’t get it, though,” Hyunjin whispers, “they just – I didn’t get in. I wasn’t good enough.” Sensing the sadness in his voice, you find a lump forming in your throat when you notice the way his bottom lip trembles. “Hey,” panicking, you set your boba down and sit up on your knees to wrap your arms around him, cradling his head into your chest once tears start falling, “no. Don’t ever say you’re not good enough, Hyunjin.”

“But if I did better, practiced more, than I would—"

“Stop,” you hush, combing your fingers through his hair and brushing strands away from his eyes, “I’ve never met someone who works as hard as you do. You can’t beat yourself up over this. Everything happens for a reason. You don’t know what could have happened if you got in. You could have hurt yourself eventually, or maybe met someone who’s a real asshole.”

“Yeah,” is all he says, quiet and muffled when he turns to press his forehead into your sternum, body still trembling as he lets out all his tears. You stay like that for a while, holding him against you and soothing a hand up and down his back until his sniffling falls quiet. “Listen,” you finally sigh, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him back. Your heart sinks once you take in the wet trails down his cheeks and the puffiness of his eyes. “Forget about it. Was it something for dance?”

When he nods subtly, you cup his face in your hands and swipe his cheeks with your thumbs. “You are an amazing dancer, Hyunjin. You can’t let this get to your head. And I don’t want you working your ass off more than you do already. Practice makes perfect, sure, but you need to rest. What about the idea Changbin came up with?”

“The YouTube thing?”

“Yes! Filming dance tutorials or just posting your routines is a really good idea,” you remind him, wiping your hands on your jeans once he falls back onto the grass with a gentle thud, hair flaying around him like a halo. Your limbs twitch with the urge to lie beside him, maybe throw an arm around him and rest your cheek on his chest, fingers tracing the soft features of his face, stroking through his hair and reminding him just how innately perfect he is, inside and out. You, of course, resist such a temptation, flopping down beside him and staring up at the clouds with a heavy heart.

“I could do that. Maybe,” Hyunjin huffs. Tilting your head to look at him, you find yourself knee-deep in that familiar longing feeling, pausing simply to appreciate how pretty he is in the evening sun, cheeks rosy from crying and hair begging to be touched. Shaking your head to rid such daydreams, you remind yourself how fragile his emotions are right now. Now is no time to get caught up on a fantasy. Reaching for your tea, you lean up on an elbow and redirect your gaze to the trees, the promise of winter having turned what was green burnt sienna and butterscotch, leaving trees barren and branches swaying gently in the crisp breeze that leaves you curling into yourself. “You should,” you hum, distant, mind clawing to come up with the words you want to say.

“Come here,” Hyunjin says now, voice stronger than before and when his hand wraps gently around your wrist, you can’t find it in yourself to resist. Allowing him to pull you back down beside him, you curl into his side, resting your head a safe distance away from his own and onto the curve of his arm. “Thank you for being so good to me,” he expresses. You squeeze your eyes shut when the arm you lie on wraps around your shoulders and pulls you substantially closer. “I need to tell you something.”

A long stretch of silence falls upon you and for a moment, you are unsure the words even left your mouth. What are you thinking?

“Wait! I have something first,” Hyunjin sighs, missing the way your breath hitches. “Okay,” you whisper, fiddling with one of the buttons on his shirt and focusing all your attention there.

“I just – I think… I owe you an apology,” he finally says, “I need to apologize for something that I did a while ago that I know probably hurt.” Your chest tightens. There’s a lot that has hurt you when it comes to Hyunjin, but none that he’s done purposely. None that are his fault. None that he should be apologizing for.

“I feel like we came to some mutual understanding to not mention what happened when we were freshmen, but it kills me to know that – that something happened, and we never talked about it,” Hyunjin starts, grip tightening on your shoulder and suddenly, you think you are dreaming. This cannot possibly be real. “I know it was awkward but, I also know me and Yiren dating was… ah. I don’t know.”

When he falls silent, you are unsure of what to say or do. You have no idea what the end goal of this conversation is. Hardly a minute ago, your heart and your brain decided it was time to tell him. Now, you’re not so sure you can do that until he finishes, and you are not about to give him your two cents if his reasoning for bringing it up is not the same as yours.

“I just want to apologize for not being brave enough to talk to you about it. I know I was confused, but I’m sure it was worse for you when they told you about her,” Hyunjin continues, sensing your rendered silence, “and it’s been so long since that happened, and now, you’re one of my closest friends.” Ouch.

“But I’ve been thinking,” when he picks up again, your eyes fly open in a panic. He’s been thinking. Hyunjinhas been thinking. You think you are going to pass out. “And I just feel like we… me and you, I mean—"

The standard iPhone alarm blares from beside you, promptly cutting him off and you think it is the biggest cockblock known to man. “Shit,” he hisses, leaning up to tug his phone from his pocket and in the process nudging you from your comfortable position. Sitting back up, nerves aflame and heart racing, your brows shoot up in confusion when all he does is stare at the number calling him. “What are you doing?”

“It’s the studio I was just at,” he scoffs in disbelief, barely glancing at you before looking back to his phone. You have never wanted to shrivel up and die as much as you want to right now. “Well? Aren’t you going to answer?”

Hyunjin makes a noise of acknowledgement before tapping the green icon and bringing the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

Sitting quietly beside him, you watch with a forced smile as his hummed responses and subtle nods morph into enthusiastic laughs and wide, beaming smiles. Hyunjin notices your confusion when you tilt your head, mouthing a ‘What?’ to him.

“They made a mistake,” he whispers, covering the speaker of his phone, “read off the wrong Hwang. I’m in.” When he grins excitedly at you, your response isn’t as cheerful as it could be. As it should be. “Yay!” You whisper, clapping gently but quickly turning to your boba when the other line begins speaking again. Looking away, you take a hefty sip, nearly choke on a tapioca ball, and build the walls around your heart up all over again in a matter of seconds.

“I’ve gotta go,” whispering, you manage one more pained smile before getting to your feet and wiping your butt of any possible grass stains, “good luck!” When he shines you one more breathtaking smile and waves excitedly, you hastily head in the other direction, wrapping your arms around yourself and swallowing past the lump that threatens to form the farther you walk.

It must be nice, you think, frantically wiping at your waterline. Must be nice to put yourself out there and have things work out the way you want them to. Must be nice being told you’re ��in,’ you’re wanted, you’re desired.

It must be nice.

six.

Pick up food, you said. Ask Jisung, you said.

Your conscience is a big fat oompa loompa ass bitch. You would have never called Jisung to ask him if he wanted anything from Taco Bell if you knew he was with Changbin. And not just Changbin, you realized four minutes into your call; Seungmin and Hyunjin, too. Apparently he went over their place to record, or something, and didn’t care to let you know. Not that you’re his mom and he has too—but it would have been nice, and would have saved you from spending almost fifty dollars at Taco Bell.

“I tried calling Jisung but he didn’t answer,” you snap once Seungmin answers your call with a muffled hello. “Can one of you please come out and help me carry this in?” You glance at the five large sodas and two bags full of food in your passenger seat with a grimace. “Sure,” he agrees and you make a mental note for the umpteenth time just how much you love Seungmin, “I’ll be out in a sec.”

True to his word, you spot him making his way out of their apartment and across the small courtyard to meet you by your car not even a minute later, hauling each bag under his arms. “Thank you,” left only with the cupholder, you hurriedly lock your car and follow after him. “No problem. Thanks for being our Uber Eats,” then, pursing his lips, “how much was this?”

“Forty-seven something,” you grumble unhappily, knowing this was a big hit to your debit. “We’ll pay you back, don’t worry,” Seungmin smiles, leading you up the final flight of stairs and kicking open the ajar door.

Immediately, you’re hit with the smell.

“Dear, fucking hell,” making a face, you rub your nose to keep from sneezing, “it reeks in here. How have you guys not been kicked out yet?”

The stench of weed generally does not bother you anymore, but still—they could light a candle, or something. Seungmin shrugs, setting the bags down on the kitchen counter. “Luck, I guess.”

“IS THAT YN?” From another room, you hear Changbin shout, followed by an excited shriek from Jisung. “They’re high. Very high. You’ve been warned,” Seungmin whispers just as tweedle dee and tweedle dum themselves come flying around the corner. “YN!” Jisung grins, engulfing you in a dramatic hug. “Watch,” you hiss, regarding the blunt held between his fingers that comes dangerously close to your hair.

“Sorry,” he smiles, then, without warning, sticks the thing right between your lips. “I didn’t even offer.” Well, when life gives you lemons…

You hesitantly take the hit and blow the smoke away from him. You weren’t planning on getting high today, but here you are. “Thanks,” shaking your head as if that will clear it, you turn to Changbin and snugly wrap your arms around him. Every day you thank the heavens that he is a chill, calm high, unlike your maniac of a roommate.

“Thanks for the food,” fishing into his pockets and pulling out a crumpled ten-dollar bill, he slaps it into your palm. You only hum in reply, shoving it into your own pocket and praying you don’t lose it before you remember to put it in your wallet. “Where’s Hyunjin?” You ask, no longer caring about being slick.

“In his room,” Seungmin answers, rummaging through the bags to find what he ordered. Then, “HYUNJIN!” You jump, reaching for your soda and standing away from the other three until they have claimed whatever belongs to them. No sooner than Seungmin calls for him, you hear a door being cracked open and out comes Hyunjin.

He looks extremely disheveled. Like, just woke up from a two-month hibernation, disheveled. In the blink of an eye, however, he rakes a hand through long blonde hair and promptly sets a baseball cap backwards to keep the strands away and suddenly, he doesn’t look so disheveled anymore. You force yourself to look away, cursing the way your gut twists.

“Gimme my crunchwrap,” you say around your straw, snatching the blunt from Jisung’s fingers and moving around him to fetch your dinner. He doesn’t even protest.

He knows you need it more than he does.

“That’s a lot of food,” Hyunjin says once he has finally entered the kitchen, voice groggy and eyes puffy from sleep. Or from being high, you can’t tell. Pressing his chest to your back, he wraps one arm around you to keep you against him while the other reaches into a bag to take what’s his. Swallowing past the desert dryness of your throat, you manage a thick inhale from the blunt before tilting your head to look at him and mentally thanking the other three for taking it as their cue to head out.

“Not my fault you guys eat like animals,” you chuckle shakily, trying to ignore the firmness of his body against yours, veins prominent on the arm that holds you against him and the ripple of muscle along his abdomen noticeable even through his shirt and yours. Dear god, it is too early for this. Not even seven o’clock and you are already drooling in more places than one.

Hyunjin pouts as if it is not true. “How much do I owe you?” He asks, finally moving away to grab his drink and you can’t help your disappointment, quickly finishing the blunt before tapping it out into one of the many ashtrays. “Don’t worry about it,” you wave off, digging through their drawers for a paper plate.

“YN,” Hyunjin deadpans, regarding you with a raised brow once you come up and begin unwrapping your food. You refuse to look him in the eye. “What do I owe you?” He repeats, firmer this time and it sends a chill down your spine when it most certainly should not. Sighing, you retrieve the receipt from your pocket and count everything he got. “Thirteen.”

Humming in content, Hyunjin reaches for his wallet on the counter and pulls a ten and five out. “There,” he beams, tucking the bills into your pocket himself. Rolling your eyes, you pray he does not notice how you flush and hurry out of the kitchen to join Seungmin on the sofa.

“House Hunters?” You ask with a laugh, looking at the TV once you have settled next to him. “I told you HGTV is the best.”

Seungmin hums in agreement. “I thought it was stupid at first, but Hyunjin was watching Fixer Upper and I got addicted,” he says, nodding to the older boy doing a little dance in the kitchen as he eats one of his tacos. Your heart does somersaults at the sight. “They’re all so good,” you agree after taking a few bites of your own food, eyes trained on the television, “House Hunters is a classic, though.”

“I like the international one,” Hyunjin adds on his way over, crashing unceremoniously next to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Seungmin wrinkle his nose when Hyunjin sets his free hand casually on your thigh. “Shh,” he grumbles, vaguely gesturing to the screen and chewing a mouthful of food, “I wanna hear what the house has.”

One episode turns to two, which turns to three, which turns to four, and suddenly you have been watching House Hunters with Seungmin and Hyunjin for almost three hours. It definitely is the weed, always making time perpetually slower, and it did not help when Jisung and Changbin reappeared sometime during your binge with one of Felix’s bongs. Not necessarily how you intended to spend your precious Friday night, but there is no sense in complaining when you are with your buddies and Hyunjin, of course.

Taco Bell long gone, you watch with blurry eyes when Hyunjin gets up from his slumped position against you to head into the kitchen and open the freezer. This, as well as the realization that House Hunters has ended and gone to some other, not-as-cool show, brings both you and Seungmin somewhat back to reality.

“It’s almost ten,” Seungmin announces, staring dazedly at the time on his phone. You hum in acknowledgment, certainly sober enough to reply but simply too lazy to. “I think I’m going to bed. Or play something. Don’t wreck the place,” he sighs, dragging a hand down his face before standing up. “G’night, Minnie,” you smile, watching with a furrowed brow as he continues down the hall and into his room. It isn’t until you hear his door click shut does the weight of being alone with Hyunjin settle on your chest.

It’s not like you haven’t spent time alone with Hyunjin before. In fact, that usually is the way it’s been in the past three years; whether the two of you decided to do your own thing or the rest of your friends eventually left or went to bed, you are used to this feeling. Used to ignoring the butterflies in your gut when he does something particularly cute and used to tampering down the mental images you conjure up knowing it’s just you and him.

But that doesn’t make things any easier. No matter how hard you try, you simply can’t help but feel this way around Hyunjin, especially when you’re alone. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

“Whatcha wanna watch?” Hyunjin asks around one last spoonful of ice cream before setting the pint back into the freezer. “Uhh…” You drone, blinking heavily at the TV and back to him as he makes his way back over. “I dunno, I’m sure you’ve been watching some drama. You can put that on.”

“You sure?” He asks with a raised brow, collapsing next to you and slumping dramatically halfway down the cushions. “Yes,” laughing, you find yourself reaching out to tuck messy strands of hair back behind his ear without hesitation, “also, why are you wearing a hat inside?”

Hyunjin pauses, straining to look up as if he will be able to see the back of his cap against his forehead. “I’m wearing a hat?”

“Yes, you idiot,” in comes the endless weed giggles and you find yourself unable to stop laughing, watching with teary eyes as he sits up and takes his hat off. “I don’t remember putting this on,” he chuckles airily, flipping the cap back and forth in his hands before tossing it onto the coffee table. “Should I cut it?”

“No!” You shout a little too quickly and a little too loudly. Shrinking against the arm of the couch, you ignore his amused smile and look to his long hair, freshly bleached strands falling down to his neck and shorter pieces brushing against his cheeks. Fuck, it should be illegal to look this good. “I like it long. It really suits you.”

“It’s annoying,” Hyunjin grins despite his complaint, lifting his legs onto the couch and flopping onto his side, head now resting on your lap. “I don’t know what to do with it.”

Now that he’s offered playing with his hair on a silver platter, you don’t hesitate combing your fingers through it, tugging out pieces stuck under his head and brushing it out completely. “You could pull the sides back,” you hum distantly, separating a section of hair near his temple to pull back, “or make a bun with what you can. You just have to play around with it.”

Humming in agreement, Hyunjin resituates himself after reaching for the remote and switching to Netflix. When you go back to simply raking your fingers from root to tip in irregular directions, you don’t miss the way his eyelids flutter at the motion and make sure to pay extra attention to his scalp. When this turned into a head massage, you’re not entirely sure.

The drama Hyunjin puts on is unbearable. You stopped paying attention a while ago, focusing more on him and how he seems to enjoy it, fingers busy braiding random sections of hair, taking them out, and then braiding them again. With two finally done the way you want them to, you are midway through the third when your fingers begin to cramp up.

“Why’d you stop?” Hyunjin asks seconds after you drop the braid and stretch your fingers out. “Fingers are cramping,” chuckling at the disappointed pout of his lips, you crack what knuckles you can before going back and undoing the unfinished braid. “Oh,” he mutters, cheek still pressed against your leg, “feels good.”

Humming in response, you ignore the way his words make your heart swell and begin gathering all his hair into a ponytail, pressing the braids to lay flat and finally tying it with a hair tie once you have combed up all that you can. Immediately, his bangs and hairs closer to the nape of his neck fall out, leaving the ponytail spikey and messy. At least the braids look good. You can’t help but giggle.

“What?” Hyunjin asks, pausing his show and leaning up. “What’d you do?”

“Go see for yourself,” pointing to the bathroom, you comb out a looped piece of hair before he stands to do just that. His ponytail bobs the entire walk there.

When he reaches the door and flips the light on, you watch from your position as he checks himself out, brushing away his bangs and flicking the pony. You frown when he accidentally yanks at a braid.

“Come here,” you say, sitting up, “you messed up the braid.”

“Honestly,” Hyunjin considers his reflection one last time before skipping his way over, “it doesn’t look half bad.” Expecting him to sit back next to you, your pulse quickens when he anchors a hand to the armrest and leans in front you, only inches away from your face. “No, definitely,” you say once you have gotten over the shock of him being so close so suddenly, “I like it in the ponytail. You’d really impress the girls if you braided your hair yourself.” Reaching up to tuck hair back into the braid and press it down flat once more, you don’t miss the way his brows draw together and lips twitch down. “What?”

Time ceases to exist as Hyunjin begins to come closer. In reality, you know it simply is a matter of seconds, but all of space and time seems to still once he leans forward. It feels as if an eternity goes by, allowing you to count each individual eyelash, memorize the details of his skin, take note of the smoothed lines on his plump lips. The way time slows is cruel; it allows panic to set in, the realization that he most certainly is looming over you with his eyes on your lips sending a spark of excitement and anxiety through your veins.

And then, just as this realization and this panic has set your nerves aflame, a gentle hand comes to cradle your jaw before Hyunjin’s lips press against yours.

It is so easy to surrender to the taste and touch of him. Instantly, an eruption of emotions and thoughts spiraling out of control fills you, yet your brain focuses only on Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin. This is not the first time you have kissed him, nor the first time simply having him so close, but the feeling that radiates from your heart outward is unlike anything you have felt before. This is uncalled for. This is not like two years ago. You were not expecting this.

Hyunjin sighs into the kiss when you lean up to loop your arms around his neck. No sooner have you done this, he breaks away to sit beside you once more, hands reaching for your waist and guiding you to sit over his lap.

You could kiss him all day, you think, palms lying flat by his collarbones before fisting the material of his shirt when his tongue prods at the seam of your lips. Blood seemingly coming to a boil and nerves sparking dangerously, you find yourself quickly sobering up as the minutes tick by, completely and utterly addicted to him and this feeling, this feeling you have craved but never crossed the line for. And now, it’s yours to keep.

Forgetting the braids, you seize the opportunity to rake your fingers through his hair. Different, than how you did earlier. Desperate. Combing it away from his face once, twice, swallowing his groans when you tug at the roots, you realize with a whine that his hands have left your face in favor of dragging down your sides, circling back to squeeze at your breasts, rubbing at your thighs and finally sliding back to your ass, situating you more comfortably on his thighs.

When Hyunjin finally breaks the kiss to journey elsewhere, littering chaste kisses across your jaw, below your ear, down your neck, the weight of your actions finally hits you. It is overwhelming, the way you come spiraling back to reality, and you are not sure if the quiet moan that leaves you is due to the press of something else against your thigh or simply the realization that you are making out with Hyunjin.

You have to stop before you get hurt again.

“Hyunjin,” you gasp, shuddering when his soft lips brush against your jaw, “wait. We need to talk.”

He pauses at this, fingers digging into your sides and you feel his frown against your neck. “What’s there to talk about?” He murmurs, arms sliding around you and tugging you closer, prompting you to wrap your arms around his neck and hug him close and pretend like his boner isn’t digging into you.

It’s your turn to frown. “About us,” whispering, you lift one hand to stroke through his hair, “we need to talk about us.”

“I thought my feelings were very clear,” Hyunjin scoffs, all tenderness in his voice gone. Instinctively, you lean back, blinking at him in surprise. “Unless this is just another one of your games? Does this not mean anything to you, YN? I don’t think I could stomach you running off to Changbin or fucking Chan again.”

His words pierce your heart before you have even fully processed them, hurt flashing across your features and your body goes numb. “What?” Is all you can manage, scrambling to get away from him, chest heaving and eyes suddenly burning with the brine of tears. “What are you talking about, Hyunjin?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about!” He shouts. You flinch, not from the way he raises his voice, but from the genuine sadness in his eyes. “The past three years have been a constant battle with you. We’re best friends, for fucks sake, I figured out a long time ago that you have feelings for me. Feelings more than best friends. Yet every fucking time we started moving in the right direction, you turned your back on me.”

You can do nothing but stand there and let the tears fall. All the words and bottled emotions you wish to say are right there on the tip of your tongue, but you simply cannot bring yourself to voice them. Not when he’s right. Not when you have turned your back on him time and time again.

And then, he hisses more to himself than you, “Is this just sloppy seconds? You never once thought about my feelings in all of this?”

The anger brewing within you suddenly bursts from the dam and hisses through your body like deadly poison. “Sloppy seconds?” You snarl, fists clenching. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Your feelings? You just said you know how I feel about you, so why didn’t you ever do anything about it? How was I supposed to know you felt the same?”

“I thought it was pretty fucking obvious,” Hyunjin spits back, gaze narrowing, “didn’t think I had to spell out the fact that I like you, YN. You’re a smart girl.”

“Do not treat me like a child,” clenching your jaw, you have to look away for a moment, pacing one, two, three steps, hands raking through your hair and wiping away the stream of tears from your cheeks. You have never been filled with such rage. Having finally reached its boiling point, it now consumes you whole, sweeping off in waves and destroying all boundaries. “Confessing is not an easy thing, as you apparentlyknow, so don’t make me seem like the only idiot here. But maybe I was wrong about you if you think of me as just sloppy seconds.”

“I never said that!” Hyunjin barks, standing up to grasp your wrist when you turn away to grab your keys. “Don’t put words in my mouth! I would never, never think of you that way. I just don’t understand why you never spoke up after all this time. I’ve been dying, YN, you have no clue how badly I have been—”

“Oh, believe me, I know,” you snap, yanking your arm away from him, “I told you, Hyunjin. Telling someone you love them isn’t as easy as learning to ride a bike. You’re right, I have turned my back on you. But not intentionally. I’ve been scared, I’m a pussy, whatever.” Biting your top lip as if it will stop the tears that continue to fall freely, you avoid looking at him and glance back to find not only Seungmin, but Jisung and Changbin, too, peeking out from their doors with eyes blown wide with shock. Once you have noticed them, however, they panic and scramble to get out of sight.

Sighing shakily, you look back to Hyunjin and cannot ignore the way your heart sinks at the sight of him. Even upset, he is beautiful. You wonder how much you will see him after this.

“You don’t have to tell me you like me back to make me feel better, Hyunjin,” bouncing on your heels, you suddenly feel exhausted, body and soul heavy with the words you not only spoke, but heard, too. “We can figure this out another day, but for now, I need to go home. I’ll see you.”

Turning away once more, you do not make it very close to the front door before he stops you once more. “Wait, YN,” Hyunjin huffs, smiling softly when he reaches for your hand and you do not pull away. Running his tongue over his lip, he seems to hesitate for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.

“Did you mean it when you said you love me?”

⇢ epilogue

341 notes · View notes

miyaniacs · 4 years ago

Note

Hey!! I think this is an emergency request? But I was wondering if you could do an x reader in which she has an ED and self harms with Yamaguchi, Oikawa and Akaashi? If the topic makes you uncomfortable, could you just do fluff with those three? I’ve been feeling terrible lately and I need comfort like this rn this would mean a lot to me thank u :) i don’t wanna feel like im pressuring u into anything so if you don’t feel comfortable writing this it’s totally fine!!! Thank you :D

Hiiii :)

Sorry it took so long - I was really sleeping in & needed to finish an Assignment that’s due to tomorrow 💀 also... I'm sorry I just did Yams and Oikawa... I really wanted to do Akaashi, because he’d just be perfect on how he’d act in this situation... but I just couldn't get myself to write for one more rn... and I want to post it for you.. I can still make one for Akaashi another day, just sent in another request baby ❤️🥺

ALSO my messages are open love, I know how you feel so hit me up if you wanna talk 🥺

Ok so just a Little disclaimer - it could happen that I’ll write some personal experiences/ thoughts since I think I had an ED / developed one (but kinda stopped it getting worse ) and it still pops up here and there ( actually just last week ) - like I never been diagnosed but still I’m pretty sure lol

Also idk what kind of ED you got BUT I belive it’s probably under eating / binge eating so I mainly include those

masterlist

Warnings : mentions of selfharm & ED

HC s/o with an ED and Self harms

Yamaguchi

alright ... so ....... you stayed over at his the night

You two made dinner and it was all prefect

You quickly went to the bathroom afterwards tho

Then you came back and helped him cleaning up the dishes

He was joking around and you laugh and push up your sleeves and start cleaning

Yams suddenly stops laughing and just stares at you

“Yams? what's -” you stop and realise what you just did

Today was such a good day, you totally forgot about your breakdown last night, after failing to do any of the things you were supposed to do that day and stepping on the scale realising you gained weight.

“ I- I - can... Can we just forget you saw this?” you stutter and pull down your selves again

Obviously he won't just forget it

he gently takes one of your hands and leads you to the living room and sits down on the couch with you

“Why?” he whispers

you just stare at him, unsure if you can tell him the real reason

after a few minutes of silence you begin to talk

you tell him everything

the second you start talking you can’t stop

the words spill out of your mouth, happy that you can finally get all those toxic thoughts out of your head

Tears start streaming down your face while you tell him you’re feeling not good enough, like a failure, like you're trying to loose weight and developed an ed, yet you’re still to stupid to loose any weight etc so you just feel like you have to ... like punish yourself?

Yams listens to you carefully and with every word his eyes get more and more glassy

after you finished talking, he pulls you into the tightest hug ever

“baby... why haven't you told me, I'm always here for you, you shouldn't deal with all of this alone”

sooo you stay in this position for a little longer, you both trying to calm down and stop crying

“Now... let me tell you - I will keep on telling you this over and over again, every single day of my life if I have to - you are enough, you are perfect in my eyes, you don’t have to loose any weight, but if you want to, then do it in a healthy way... I willing to help you in any way possible.” He takes your hands and moves them up to his face, kissing your knuckles

the rest of the night, you cuddle, him trying to confound every toxic thought you have

he also gifts you a soft hair tie and makes you promise him, that you would use this, instead of hurting yourself

his phone is also from now on not silent anymore in case you need someone to talk to at night

the next weeks, he’s getting up earlier, making you some healthy, low calorie lunch so you don’t have to feel pressured to eat in the cafeteria and feel the need to throw up again afterwards. He’ll also tries to increase the cals, every other week.

Oikawa

He probably realises that something is up, the second his stupid ass walks into the bathroom when you just got out of the shower

It’s winter so you always wore sweatshirts and those cute wide leg pants

also you haven't been feeling good the past weeks, so there wasn't really a chance for Oikawa to see you in tight clothing or well ... no clothing at all.

so when he saw you for this small second just now, his heart drops

he just stands there shocked, tears already running down his face, not moving a muscle

“Y/N... I - since when - Why - I- “ he stutters not able to find the right words

You stood still, towel in your hands, shocked expression on your face

this is like your worst nightmare, he shouldn't see this, at least not now, not like this

“Tooru, I can explain...” you stutter and look down at the ground

“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to ... I just.. can I hold you?” He whispers in between small snobs

you nod and he takes a set forward, carefully placing his arms around you, now afraid he could hurt you or break you

He doesn't feel your soft curves anymore, his fingers are now met with the little bumps of your rips

You hide your face in his neck and start crying

the snobs make your body shake, which made him feel your bones move under his hands - which results in him crying even more

“You’re just so perfect and I'm just me... all those beautiful girls who fall for you, with their skinny legs and waist, looking so delicate... I didn’t want you to be ashamed of me...”

how couldn’t he notice? WHY haven't he? HE could NEVER be ashamed of you NEVER

WHY was he so busy with Volleyball? he should have noticed that you weren't eating.. but he always thought you’ve eaten before...

after you calmed down, he takes the towel and helps you getting dry, his eyes always stuck to small red lines on your legs, right under your hips

he walks over to where you kept your medics and all the first aid stuff and started treating your wounds

He takes off his hoodie and puts it over your head and picks you up bridal style, carrying you to the bed

He puts you down and quickly hurries to the kitchen and makes some tea for you

You’re now seated in between his legs, your back resting on his chest while his arms are wrapped around you, rocking you from side to side, while you two watch some Disney movies

after you finally fall asleep he takes out his phone and reads all the articles on the internet about self harming and ed’s.

He makes a note on his phone where he writes down all the things he could do to help you, and all the little signs so he knew when one of your conditions gets worse again

he makes sure that from now on, you two eat at least one meal together

he’s always encouraging you, if you feel like not eating, he begs you to at least eat one small bite, if you feel like eating the whole salad, girl, he’s hyping you up so much

he sees that you gained some weight?

omg be prepared for a full week of him praising you of how beautiful you are, hyping you up, etc

and GODDD IF YOU NEED NEW CLOTHES BECAUSE YOUR OLD ONES DON’T FIT ANYMORE SINCE YOU GAINED WEIGHT

he is spoiling you to the Max

he is willing to fly you to London, Paris, La, etc so you get the best clothes available

some small things he also do is : form that one night on, every day, he sends you a voice note of him telling you how amazing you are, how much he loves you, and lists at least 10 things why he loves you and why he’s proud of you - so from now on, before you grab that one small blade, you listen to this voice note and if that doesn't help, you only need to text him 🆘 and he’s already faceting you, dropping everything he was doing and getting to your house asap

also he’s probably trying to get you into working out with him, so he can control that you don’t overwork yourself and helps you gaining more muscles again and tells you about the benefits of weight lifting, since muscles burn calories while doing nothing at all, YET they need top be feed to remain

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa headcanons #oikawa imagine #yamaguchi x reader #yamaguchi imagine

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timelvss · 7 years ago

Text

haunting past

parings: min yoongi | reader ft. jungkook

genre: idol au / angst (kinda a lot)

warnings: heartbreak, post break up

word count: 3.4k

description: jin is getting married, you have no date and you don’t want to see your ex min yoongi

author’s note: this is one of my firsts fics that im making, it took forever to finish but i’m so glad it came out well. Also if there is any spelling mistakes please forgive me, its 12 am and im finally posting this. Thank you for reading!

ps. i wrote a sequel! you can find it here, Haunting Present .

“Jennie, for the third time, I’m not going. It’s a stupid idea,” You said into the phone as you kept on folding the warm clothes splayed out in front of you.

“I know, but hey, maybe it’s been enough time,” she said back. You could hear rustling in the background and you swore it was because it was probably was at the mall once again. “I think you need to tell yourself to move on. His career came before you, go and show him you don’t need him,”

“I haven’t even dated since two years ago Jens, I think he can see I’m still a little hurt,” you mumbled back. Setting clothes in different piles as you sighed back into the phone.

“Hey, Jungkook will be there, ask him to pretend to be your date,” Jennie said back as you finished folding the last shirt. That wasn’t a bad idea, but you still felt guilty about using Jungkook just so you wouldn’t look so lonely.

“I’ll think about it okay?” you said as you rubbed your eyes, shaking your head at the thought of asking Jungkook.

“Okay, I gotta go. Also, if you do decide to go I picked up a dress for you so let me know.” You heard Jennie say as you tried to hang up the phone. You both said your farewells and finally hung up the phone. You were terrified of showing up to Jisoo’s engagement party dateless and bumping into your ex on accident.

Walking along the same path you walked every day you found yourself noticing small things that probably did not matter to other people besides you. For example, how the cafe in the corner always around the same time made the whole street smell like fresh baked pastries, how the warm weather was slowly running away from you, and how the people always seemed to know who you were. Right before turning your heel back to your street your boyfriend, Yoongi was sitting on the bench facing you. Smiling you walked towards him, only to be greeted by a small kiss to your cheek.

“How was work?” Yoongi asked as his hand moved around your waist to keep you close to him.

“Good, but you know how Seokjin is. He was bugging Jisoo and me about the demographics around the area for the new construction plans,” leaning into Yoongi’s shoulder you let yourself rest against him. You felt him tense for a second before breathing out a sigh making you furrow your eyebrows. “How was your day?”

“Listen, I need to tell you something,” he said and suddenly you felt everything rush inside of you. Was he going to dump you? Was there someone else? A thousand questions ran through your head making you back away from his embrace. “Don’t be like that, come back,”

“Tell me everything then,” you said, fixing your bag on your shoulder.

“The company accepted me.”

After the news of Yoongi getting accepted to the company you decided to drop everything and move to Seoul, of course Yoongi wouldn't even be living with you due to the company’s regulations but you were still a lot closer. Your job took another significant jab, the only way they would relocate you was if you wanted to move departments and start over from zero. You knew Yoongi felt terrible about moving your whole life to another city because of him so you didn’t mention the loss of your position.

The city live was something you were still trying to get used to, it was a lot different than Daegu but you wanted Yoongi to be happy. Since him joining the company all the free time was his lunches where you would meet up with him at a restaurant near the studio or he would come to your place. Yoongi would explain to you what his duties were including some lyrics of some songs he was writing. The excitement radiated off him and you couldn't help but to feel happy for him to be accomplishing his dreams.

About three months in, the lunches became less frequent and you knew it wasn't because Yoongi was getting tired of you but because he was too immersed into his work. You were a bit worried about him overworking himself or missing meals due to his new lifestyle. Which is why you spent most of the morning in the kitchen trying to prepare a couple of sandwiches and snacks for him.

You walked along the busy streets towards the studio where you knew Yoongi was probably still in. You had texted him a few times but after no reply you decided to go drop the food of yourself. After about 20 minutes of walking you walking into the lobby, meeting a young girl at the front desk who gave you directions towards the studio in which Yoongi was in. You made your way through the halls until you reached a door with the sign that said, ‘Agust D’ making you smile. You knocked a few times only to be greeted by a tall slender man who gave you a questioning look.

“You are?” the mystery man questioned you as he looked at the basket in your hands and then back inside. “Wait, you must be the mystery lady Yoongi mentioned. I’m Namjoon, I’ve been working with Yoongi for the past couple of days,”

“Nice to meet you,” you said back giving the guy a nod as he moved out of the way for you to come in. You gave Namjoon a small bow and walked towards Yoongi who was sitting in front of a whole arrangement of buttons with a pair of headphones on his ears.

“I’ll leave you two alone, I’m going to try to ask Wendy out again,” Namjoon said making you smile. You nodded and turned back to your boyfriend with a smile on your lips.

“Hey Yoongs, I brought you some food and snacks,” taking off Yoongi’s headphones you said carefully.

“Oh you're here, yes thank you. You can go now I have to get back to work, wait where’s Namjoon?” Yoongi said pushing the food further away from him and then down on the floor. You felt something tug inside but you kept it down.

“Yoongi have you even eaten?” You didn't realize what had slipped past your mouth until it was too late.

“Y/N go home, I’m busy,” Yoongi said sighing again as he stood up from his chair,.

“I gave everything up for you and all I get is a ‘go home, I’m busy.’ Are you fucking serious Min Yoongi?” you groaned. A small part of you felt guilty but your rage was boiling. How dare he try to push you away after everything you had given up for him?

“I don't want to argue with you,” Yoongi said in a stern voice. His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose, you could tell he was tired. He looked like he hadn't slept in days making you feel worse than what you felt before.

“I’ve tried keeping everything down Yoongi, ever since you sent in the audition tape. I kept doing everything I thought was right just to please you but I’m so exhausted. Just say you’ll try to fix this, that you’ll fight for me,” you begged him one last time as tears built up. Your vision was turning blurry and the pang in your chest was at its worse.

“Go home.” You could only nod and look back at the man in front of you, giving him one last smile before you walked out of the studio. Your hands whipped any remaining tears away from your eyes and held your head up. Not even the Min Yoongi genius was going to see you cry.

Pulling on the dress you still thought this was a terrible idea but Jennie was persistent that you ‘show up and show him his loss’. You couldn’t really picture it being a loss really. In the two years you left him he only managed to debut and gather a pretty massive fanbase. His album was top selling in the rankings and at award shows he always seemed to be the smiley Yoongi you knew. He was rumored to be dating some girl from a group but you decided not to pay attention.

You were finishing up the rest of your makeup when your phone gave a small ding, telling you a message came.

[6.24 pm ] jungkook : are u almost ready bc im on my way rn

When you finally asked Jungkook to go with you it seemed like a good idea, but now that you saw the text you felt a wave of dizziness come over. You couldn’t show up with another guy, everyone would ask you and what was your answer? No, he's just a friend. Way to go Y/N.

[6.25 pm ] you : yes but i want to die

You could practically hear Jungkook laughing at you, but your brain was screaming and your heart was probably dead in a ditch.

[6.26 pm ] jungkook : don’t worry if it gets too bad well ditch and go for burgers even if seokjin hyung kills us

Jungkooks hand was on your back as you both walked towards the entrance of the reception. Flowers and arrangements decorated small tables around the room, it was beautiful but it was obvious Seokjin picked them.

“Y/N! You actually came!” you heard Jisoo’s scream from across the room. Suddenly you were wrapped in too many arms and all you could do was smile.

“See, I told you she would show up,” Jin said against your head making you laugh as you nodded your head. “I know how hard it must be to be here, but thank you,” JIn whispered back against your head as Jisoo pulled back from you. You could only give him a tight smile and nod your head once again.

“It’s a special day for the both of you, I wanted to be here,” You said as your hand slipped around Jungkook’s arm, making you feel a bit safer than before. Jin pulled back to you at your date and raised one if his eyebrows. “It’s not what you think,”

“Woman, you know I’m more than fine with who you date but really? A kid?” Seokjin said as a laugh escaped his lips and you tried hard to contain yours.

“Excuse me, I’m not a child and I’m actually twe-”

“Seokjin,” Your head quickly turned to the voice who said those words. You gripped tighten around Jungkook’s arm and your heart felt like it was beating a million times per minute. Jungkook held his grip on you and gave you a reassuring smile, you could only nod and try to look away from where the voice was coming from.

“Oh, Yoongi, I thought you said you weren’t gonna make it,” you could hear the small amount of surprise in Seokjin’s voice.

“I wasn’t but Jisoo asked my mom, she pretty much forced me to walk out of the studio,” Yoongi chuckled and you could only feel your heart clenching. Jungkook must have sensed your discomfort because his arm slipped around your torso, helping you stand completely up and you could only pray a genuine smile was on your lips when you turned to see your ex.

Excusing ourselves, Jungkook lead the way to your table only to find Jennie with a man who you didn't know but suspected it was one of her new toys. You could feel a pair of eyes burning into the back of your head but you refused to turn around. If you did you might as well tell him you still love him.

“I can still feel his eyeballs on us,” Jungkook said beside you as he took a small sip of his water trying to sound as calm a possible.

“Well, he did have an intense stare,” you sigh as the words slip out of your mouth, bringing your hand up to rub the bridge of your nose.

“It’s okay now he thinks you got someone, I don't see how this is bad,” Jennie said as her date placed a kiss to the top of her head. You could tell she meant a lot more to him than him to her but you weren't going to spill any secrets you lowkey understood. “But, I can go tell him to fuck off if you want,”

“Let him be, it's fine, I’ll be fine.” You fingers found themselves on your temples as you leaned on to your elbows. Glancing down at your drink and then back at the people around yourself.

The music was at full blast when you least realized, people danced in the small stage and all you could do was smile at the people. Jin and Jisoo looked like they were having the time of their life which only made you wonder if that would ever come to you. Jungkook was talking to Jennie’s date while she was out dancing with a couple of her other friends. You always hated dancing but now you only wanted to slow dance with a single person.

“C’mon, you need to start practicing,” Yoongi’s hands found themselves on your hips, tugging you closer to his body. A goofy grin spread over his lips as you laughed at his words.

“Practicing for what?”

“For our wedding.”

The both of you laughed as you wrapped your hands around his neck, slowly moving your legs to the rhythm of the song. He could only let out a groan every time you stepped on his toes making you whisper out a million ‘sorry’s and ‘forgive me’s.

You stood up from your chair and excused yourself from your friends, walking out of the venue and towards one of the balconies. Leaning against the railing you let out a loud sigh knowing no one was around. The realization of things were heavy against your shoulders as you looked up the sky. The love you felt for Yoongi was still there and you had no idea how to get rid of it. Maybe saying yes to a date with Jungkook would be a good idea but you didn't want to leave the boy broken hearted in the process of figuring yourself out.

“Do you want to dance?” quickly turning you found the source of the voice, Min Yoongi.

“Yoongi,” you breathed out as if it was your last breath. Your heart was racing against your chest and you were so glad the man wasn’t standing closer or else he would have seen your hands start to shake.

“It doesn't have to mean anything, but seeing them dance didn't feel right because that cou-”

“Don't say it” you warned the man in front of you, as he stepped closer to you. You could see his changed features this close better than any recent picture you found yourself stalking that day.

His hair was a light blue and it was ready to turn back to blonde in the next few washes and you could only think of how that was his color when you left. His eyes looked tired, but he always looked tired even when he slept through all his alarms and got to class late. His shoulders were more broad and he no longer looked like a boy, this Yoongi that was in front of you was a man. A man that you still loved with every cell in your body.

“Y/N,” he pleaded as his hand slowly made his way to cup your face making you stare up at him. Everything felt in place but you knew deep inside it meant nothing, because after this night things would go back to the way they were. Two separate lives, Yoongi living his dream while you tried to figure out how to push him out of your life. “Please, just one dance,”

You could only nod and him as his hand slipped down to take yours into his while the other took its place on your hip. Resting your hand on his shoulder you both moved closer to each other, your head was tucked underneath his. You could hear his breaths as you both slowly swayed back and forth. The movement felt all too familiar and you couldn’t help to feel your eyes start to water, making you turn your head to the side so it was harder for him to see you. The song played in the background making your heart ache, but that was a feeling familiar to you by now.

“You look beautiful,” Yoongi said as a smile was spread over his lips. It was a bit sad on how you could tell by not even looking at him. “I never thought I’d see you again, or that you would come at all. I just came to see if I could see you again which I’m glad I did at least. Even though you came with someone, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I lost the biggest part of me when I pushed you away and you didn’t deserve that,”

“Things happen Yoongi,” letting out a small laugh you picked at your nails for about the hundredth time since you arrived to the venue. Or more like, since you saw Yoongi.

“I lost the one thing I promised myself I wouldn’t, you,” Yoongi said as his legs moved along with the rhythm. He was no better than you at dancing, but the time that passed his legs seemed to move more with the music you noticed. Although you couldn’t say the same for yours.

“Yoongi, you can't say that,” you said pulling back from his arms. Shaking your head and letting your hand put a safe distance between the both of you.

“You need to hear it, I’m not asking you to take me back but I want you back in my life,” you heard him say making your heart skip a beat. You brain was screaming at you and telling you to run, but your feet kept you grounded to the floor as if they had grown roots. “I know I’m not the most decent human being, but I just want you back. I was a wreck after I realized I didn't have you in my life anymore. I called everyone and asked everyone about you, but you disappeared from here and I had the album coming. I did nothing, so now I'm begging you to please let me back into your life. I need you,”

Your mind was running in circles and you could only take more steps backwards. Your hands wiped any tears that found themselves rolling down your cheeks, you couldn’t let him see you like this. He couldn't make you cry. Not again. Your gaze met his and his eyes screamed for an answer, but your mouth had nothing to say.

“Y/N,” you turned to see Jungkook standing by the door frame, the look in his eyes was something you had never seen before. His whole mood screamed protect and you could only move towards him. You heard Yoongi make a noise behind you but you told yourself not to look back.

“Jungkook,” you whispered as you turned to look at Yoongi who was visibly sending daggers towards Jungkook.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook walked towards you and put his hands on your cheeks, wiping any remains of tears away from your eyes. You could only stare back at him, he truly cared for you and you saw that in his eyes.

“Yes, let’s go,” you told Jungkook, making him nod and take your hand in his. You turned back at Yoongi one last time before you left. Your feet moved along with Jungkook’s as you both walked out of the venue, not looking back at any of the people you both left behind.

“Y/N, no please! Don't go, please!” You heard Yoongi’s screams from behind you only making your grip on Jungkook’s hand tighter. He was saying something that you couldn't catch because your ears were buzzing. You heard Jin screaming at Yoongi and footsteps behind you as Jungkook opened the car door for you. Yoongi’s eyes found yours as you stood in front of your seat. His eyes were red and tears rolled and he looked as if he had been crying all night, but you knew it had only been minutes.

“I’m sorry, Yoongi.”

#min yoongi scenarios #min yoongi fanfiction #min yoongi fanfic #min yoongi scenario #min yoongi angst #yoongi fanfic #yoongi scenarios #yoongi fanfiction #yoongi scenario #yoongi angst #min yoongi #yoongi #bts

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kokkoro · 7 years ago

Text

you and me (were meant to be) (1/3)

Her name is Clarke and she likes coffee and it takes you half a second to decide you like her.

or the ‘i just met you but there’s this couples contest on campus rn and all my friends are busy and you’re just sitting there reading on the quad, pls the prize is a Technivorm Moccamaster KBT 741 and my coffee machine broke last week and im dying pls i need my coffee’ au

(aka the couples competition au) (on ao3)

If asked you would say you were bribed. Or blackmailed. Something dramatic like that. Except you don’t even like coffee and the last time someone tried to force you to do something you didn’t want to do they ended up with a fist to the face and a bloody nose. What you do like though are pretty blonde girls in loose button-ups and tiny jean shorts and backward snapbacks, so in hindsight there really was no hope for you.

So you say yes, and it's this wobbly cracked thing that stumbles from the tip of your tongue in two pieces that’s only halfway out your mouth by time she’s pulling you to your feet.

“Come on,” she says, urging, her lips halfway to a grin and you’re already lost. “The competition starts in ten and we still haven’t signed up.”

You’re pulled from your spot in front of the library and into the thick of things without warning and she doesn’t let go of your hand in what you assume is a precaution against losing you to the droves of people congregating on the quad. This is what you imagine a stampede to feel like, the cacophony rattling and your breath lodged just below your throat, but you focus on her hand and everything thins. It’s the beginning of October, right when the chill of oncoming autumn is contested only by the sun’s last attempts at summer, but you know it more commonly as homecoming week.

There’s stands with food and drinks and the art students have dragged out displays and people crowd in a manner that makes at least some semblance of sense. Clubs and various organizations shout to be heard above the ruckus of the radio club, vying for the attention of the incoming freshman who wander through the chaos like lost souls in the styx.

You see the queue for the line by the practice field. It’s not long, but the sun’s in your eyes and Clarke turns the hat on her head to block it. She fiddles, lifting and shifting until it rests the way she wants it. It sits a little askew, her blonde hair ruffles and curls.

“Have you done this before?” she says.

You look away only to settle on a burly young man attempting to rip his shirt off, and you turn back to focus on Clarke. That’s also a terrible idea, so you shift to watch the line steadily move forward. “Gotten drafted into a couples competition by a stranger? No, I haven’t.”

“Enjoyed the festivities I mean.” Clarke says, and the small smirk she wears means your attempt at humor went better than planned. “Did I drag you away from something important?”

“Not particularly.” You’d actually be apart of it if you hadn’t been coerced into delegating the task to Anya. She had said you needed a break. Really, you think she just gets off seeing the freshmen's faces when they meet you for the first time and are lulled into a false sense of security. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find it amusing in some ways.

“Good.”

The silence picks up, interspersed by the low chatter of the couple in front of you. The girl giggles, tucked into the side of her boyfriend and he bends to whisper something into her ear before pressing his mouth to the side of her head. She swats at him playfully, but her retaliation doesn’t last, her arms wrapping around his torso.

“Why me?” you ask softly and Clarke brows scrunch, confused, so you squeeze her hand and repeat: “Why me? Surely you’d have a better chance with someone else.”

Clarke snorts and looks ahead, standing briefly on her tip-toes to peer around the people in line in front of you, tilting the bill of her hat back. It’s another second before she says, nonchalant, “And be utterly heteronormative? Please. I didn’t spend my high school years struggling with my sexual identity to stop here.” She glances at you and maybe you’re imagining the way her eyes dart to your lips. “Plus all my friends were busy.”

Your heart thuds, a quick one-two beat, and you feel lost. It takes a second to pull yourself back. “What makes you so sure?”

“About what?” Clarke says with a slight smile.

You watch her watch you. “Me.”

“A hunch?” she says, raising her shoulders in an innocent shrug. “Am I right?”

She is. God, she is. Your eyes dart to her lips--to her eyes and the faint flush dusting her cheeks and you swallow before tearing your eyes away, but she lets out a small laugh and you’re right back to where you started.

“You have rainbow pin on your bag,” she points out, her voice soft and unassuming, and you look down despite knowing what you’ll find. You completely forgot you had that. “I figured the odds were in my favor. But if you’re not comfortable with, uh, this… thing, I… No hard feelings, really. You don’t have to do this.”

You move another pace forward, tugging her gently forward with you. You’ve never been one to back down from a challenge. “I want to.”

“Okay,” Clarke says, a grin slow to form on her lips. She squeezes your hand and you feel it light a fire in you. “Then lets kick some ass.”

You’re still staring at her by the time you make it to the front and the guy behind the table at the sign-in tent can’t keep the wry smile from his mouth. He taps his pen against the plastic fold-out table. “Welcome to the annual Official Unofficial King and Queen Competition. . .ladies,” he says, and Clarke scoffs quietly next to you, her thumb passing restlessly back and forth across your knuckles. “Here to sign up? You’re just in time. Names please.”

“Clarke and Lexa,” Clarke supplies easily, and the guy mmhmms as he scribbles chicken scratch onto a ledger. You catch Clarke eyeing the impressive coffee machine up for grabs, this superfluous monster of a machine that you’d swear could sooner do your taxes than make you a cup of coffee.

“Nice to meet you, Clarke and Lexa,” he says, peeling off two stickers from a roll by his right elbow and holding them out to you. “Stickers where we can see ‘em, alright? You can leave your belongings here is you want and the competition starts in five. All couples should be by the platform on the practice field by the start time, you know the deal. Good luck guys.”

You take yours somewhat awkwardly, stuck to your index finger, unsure of what to do with it until you see Clarke place hers on the sleeve of her button up, patting it down with this small determined look on her face. You place yours on your stomach, over the loose white tee you’re wearing, and then hand over your bag for safe-keeping.

Clarke takes your hand again a second later like it’s already a habit, threading your fingers together and wiggling, and you allow yourself to be led. From what you can see, the practice field is set up accordingly. There appears to be what seems like an obstacle course made out of some of the old football equipment set up at strategic points on the field. Even the few rows of bleachers have already started to fill out with spectators. They’re either friends of the competitors or those with down time during the festivities and looking for a laugh.

You’re not unused to the attention though it’s hard to not find it a tad unnerving. This is nothing short of a spectacle, meant for entertainment and the emotions and thrill competition brings, perhaps at the expense of your pride. You’ve learned from experience not to let it get to you. It makes you impulsive, a little bit reckless, and that’s not something you are. But now, as Clarke leads you up onto the platform and the adrenaline begins to prickle to life under your skin, you let it. You have a feeling you’ll need it.

The group of couples line up in a row and you and Clarke find a spot near the end of the line as one of the last few onto the stage. She sticks close, her arm around your waist and this small determined grin on her face as she scopes out the competition, looking up and down the line appraisingly. Watching her drowns out the noise, the persistent chatter of the other competitors and the far off white noise of the people filling out the stands.

Confidence looks good on her.

She snaps out of it the second someone tests the microphone and the sound blares loudly, her arm tensing around your waist. A few boos and curses issue out from the stands and your host, a tall, bright eyed man with shaggy hair and a slight beard, laughs. He shakes it off, tapping the microphone one more time to make sure it works as intended, before spreading his arms wide.

“Welcome!” his voice booms over the speakers, voice low and powerful, and the crowd erupts into cheers. You can feel the sound in your chest. “To the annual official unofficial Polis U King and Queen Competition!”

The man takes a moment to bask in the noise, scanning the crowd, smiling as random onlookers take notice of the commotion and try to find seats among the madness. “Today, these young lovers will seek to prove their worth in three grueling tasks for the right to become this year’s top couple. So sit back, relax, pick a favorite, they’ll need all the help they can get.”

“Are you ready?” you hear Clarke mutter, just barely over the noise, and you dip your head, angling towards her. You try not to look at her, but she turns to you then and your world seems to crumble, leaving nothing but the sight of her looking back at you.

“I was born for this, Clarke,” you tease, and her lips stretch into the widest grin.

“--first,” the hosts voice cuts through your self induced fog and you look back up and out over the crowd, trying to ignore the way Clarke holds you tighter. “Let us weed out the weak.”

A stagnant pause hangs over the training field

“Contestants!” the man continues, and there’s a certain satisfaction you find in the way a few of the men in line jump at the words that travel over the loudspeaker. “Spread out before you is an obstacle course designed to test your physical limits. Men, and women,” he corrects quickly at the sight of you, “must carry their ladies safely all the way across field to the end. But the catch,” he motions to a helper down on the field and they quickly toss up a brightly colored beach ball, “is that this must as well.”

“You are allowed,” he continues, “to use this ball to knock the other competitors ball out of their hands. You may not tackle, hit, or otherwise hurt your fellow competitors, but besides, be one of the first fifteen couples to cross the finish line and you’re through.”

Clarke pokes you in the side as you and the other competitors are herded off the platform and down onto the field. “How fast can you run?”

“Fast enough,” you say.

“I say we book it. Let the rest fight amongst themselves.”

You fight back a smile as you watch her out of the corner of your eye, taking a knee once you arrive at the starting line. You brace your hands against the grass and Clarke clambers onto your shoulders, her touch light against your back. When she finally settles, hands on your head, you hook your arms around her thighs and try to make sense of the extra weight. “Ready?” you say, tilting your head back and tapping her leg to get her attention. From the look on her face, you have an inkling she might be afraid of heights. “on three, two, one--”

You stand and Clarke’s grip tightens on your hair briefly, fingers tugging a bit at the strands, before the tension relaxes. She gathers her bearings, legs clenched around your shoulders, feet hooked on your sides. Any tighter and the circulation to your arms might cut off, but she takes a moment to center herself.

“I’m good,” she says, a bit too quickly. “Yeah, I’m good.”

She holds out her hands and one of the event staff tosses up a blue beachball that she catches just barely. She lets out a slow breath, nodding to herself, and clutches the ball to her chest.

You find your place behind the line, watching the others settle in beside you. Some look lost. This palpable apprehension that seems to take hold in their eyes. They won’t make it twenty feet, you’re sure. The tall dark man with the broad chest and the small firecracker of a woman on his shoulders not ten feet down from you, however, is another story altogether.

Everything drowns away the second the countdown starts over the speakers. You feel kind of stupid, but there’s a pretty girl with her legs around your neck and everything else seems to fall away in comparison. She’s warm. Not to mention probably more embarrassed about this than you. Or at the least that’s what you find yourself hoping the second the countdown reaches zero and you bolt off as fast as you can towards the finish line.

Only to make it two feet before someone comes running at you from the side with a yellow beachball.

You manage a strangled “Clarke,” and she turns.

There’s a split second you take to brace yourself and Clarke is just as fast. She meets the impact head on, leaning in with her weight as you lurch to the side. The resulting impact causes the couple to jerk back and without the necessary balance they topple to the ground.

The crowd roars.

“Motherfucker,” you hear Clarke huff under her breath, and you try and fail to wipe the smirk from your face.

It’s awkward running with someone on your shoulders, you realize. You’re scared she’ll fall off, but if the numbness you’re beginning to feel in your arms is any indication as you step through a rows of tires spread out past the twenty yard-line, you think she’ll be okay.

You hear a chorus of shouts among the cheers from the stands and the slightly unnerving laughter behind you, but you don’t look back, keeping your focus on putting one foot in front of the other. You stumble out of the last tire and Clarke’s free hand is quick to tangle itself into your shirt to keep herself upright. It rubs roughly against your collarbones, and if nothing else it reminds you to breathe.

“Lexa,” she says a little breathlessly, releasing her hold. You feel her shift to glance at the commotion behind you, and you’re not sure if she’s scolding you or warning you as you sprint headlong into a barrage of standing football dummies.

They’re placed close together, which is good for you if a bit ridiculous to think about. Blue, red, yellow, red, blue--they pass in a blur, knocking against your elbows and Clarke’s knees. Somewhere to your left you have a feeling someone is close behind and when you burst through the thick of it you feel a little disorientated. The other couple overtakes you, taking advantage of your sudden stupor, and you know that means the others are not far behind.

You don’t remember the rest. It flies by as you attempt to gain back what you lost, unaware of much besides Clarke urging you on and the finish line not ten yards away. You come in second and you don’t realize you’ve finished until Clarke’s gleeful yelp, too focused on getting back the air you lost in that last made dash. She drops the beachball unceremoniously in favor of wrapping her arms around your neck and it only makes it harder to breathe. The sudden stop in forward momentum and the enthusiasm of Clarke’s excitement however, is all it takes to cause you to trip.

It’s much like crumbling, undignified and maybe a bit embarrassing. You manage to land somewhat on your butt, leaning heavily on your left arm with Clarke draped over your right shoulder and half in your lap. She’s laughing though, this bubbly thing that’s more a snort as she tries to pull herself the rest of the way over your shoulder. To little success. You try to help her and she nearly elbows you in the face.

She rolls off eventually, somersaults onto her back in the grass, her head near your thigh. She’s red in the face, hair wrestled free from the hat that had tumbled off just moments ago, and her chest heaves in gulps of air under her nearly untucked up button-up, but her smile -- god, her smile.

You lean over, blocking out the sun, breath coming in much more manageable intervals and wait for things to settle. Around you, a few more couples come running in and they’re careful to keep clear of the both of you. It’s a hard won break and you’ve earned these few moments of respite.

It’s a moment or two before Clarke finds the wherewithal to move, taking one last deep breath before propping herself up on her forearms. She smiles at you this time, little bits of grass in her hair, and it’s almost as if you’re the only thing that matters to her.

Standing, you brush the dirt from your palms on you jeans, and you pretend you don’t notice the way she watches you. Casually, cautiously. The curiosity in her eyes is hard to mask and you don’t think she cares. You bend to pick up her hat, smacking it against your thigh to dislodge the bits of dirt and grass and when you offer her your hand there’s no hesitance when she takes it.

“Thanks,” she says, finally back on her feet. She’s close and her words are soft and you give back her hat wordlessly. She flexes the bill until she’s satisfied with the feel, and you brush a few blades of grass from the strands of her hair. The grin that captures her lips is slow and soft like honey, and you’re surprised by the way it has you yearning. “What a way to kick things off, am I right?”

“I don’t do things moderately,” you say, tilting your head and taking the time to observe her back.

She looks up at you, amused. “Neither do I.”

Clarke turns the hat around in her hands, fiddling with its weight that she’s so suddenly taken by. You see the decision she makes then though. How it begins with this little nod and the determined set to her lips, and how it ends with her hat on your head.

It’s the moment you realize you want to know what it’s like to kiss her.

You’re herded back towards the other side of the field before you have a chance to really think about those thoughts. That doesn't mean you let go of Clarke’s hand even though the opportunity presents itself. You quite like how she twines her arm with yours and the gentleness she has as her thumb passes over your knuckles, soothing. It’s unconscious, like breathing, and so is the small peck you press to her temple as you wait--offhand and it surprising even you. You pull away, pretending to focus your attention back on the emcee.

The problem with that is, you find you only half pay attention. The announcements are background noise compared to the softness of her touch and you have to wonder if she’s aware of what she’s doing to you. It’s a tragedy then, that Clarke lets go of your hand long before you’re prepared for it and you look at her in mild confusion as she slips her fingers from yours. She gives a small shake of her head, brows knit adorably as if to ask what’s wrong, and you find it’s hard to voice the truth.

You watch as she accepts a blindfold from one of the event staff as he makes his way through the remaining couples and there’s no hesitation as she goes about securing it round her face, blocking her eyes. When she lets go it slips down over her eyes and this low laugh escapes you before you have a chance to reel it back in.

She looks at you disappointingly but lets you position her in front of you as you go about untying the knot she made.

“This is--” you give a generous tug and it holds tight “--quite the feat you’ve managed here, Clarke.”

“It’s tougher than it looks,” she says. You can’t see her eyes, but you can see the smile that curls the ends of her lips.

“I’m sure,” you mutter back, struggling for a few more seconds until the knot gives and you’re able to pull the fabric free.

You keep Clarke close as you reapply the blindfold to her eyes, laying it gently across the bridge of her nose and over her eyes. You secure it with a simple knot, careful to avoid getting the strands of her hair caught in the tangle.

“Everything feel okay?” you ask, running your fingers through her hair a few times to tame the mess you made. She doesn’t bring attention to it and you drop your hands from her hair before they betray you and they drift down to her lower back.

“Fine,” she says, and her head turns towards your voice. “It feels fine.”

You smile and it’s something you’re glad she can’t see. “How many fingers am I holding up?” Your hand near her back stays where it is, too content with the contact as your are. The other however, doesn’t move from your side. It’s a simple thing to forget to mention.

She hums, even though you’re sure she’s rolling her eyes at you from behind the blindfold. “Four.”

“Good guess.” You watch her lips curl into a grin, only vaguely aware of her left hand as it finds the fabric of your loose shirt and holds on. But you are all too aware of the feelings it ignites in you. “But no.”

Clarke huffs, though she looks unbothered by the development, stepping in closer so that she’s just shy of touching you. She smells like too much sun and the warmth it settles in you simmers just below your skin. If Anya could see you now, you’d never hear the end of it.

“Do you trust me?”

Clarke shrugs, leaning forward so that her nose bumps your shoulder. “Sure,” she says, the word muffled by your shirt. “I trust you.”

The noise over the microphone drowns out the words you don’t get to say, and Clarke picks her head up from where it was tucked against you. Her eyebrows furrow, concentrated, and you figure you should do the same.

There’s seven items down by the stage about a hundred feet away and while you and the remaining fourteen couples had rested and prepared, the event staff had taken the time to litter the open space with a new set of obstacles. Still mostly random football equipment (and a couple blow up halloween decorations) it doesn’t change the fact that you’ll have to guide Clarke through it by word alone.

You lead Clarke to the starting line, keeping hold of her hand until the emcee announces the countdown to start. When you let go, she looks a little lost without a tether to you, but there’s no time for reassurances as the air-horn sounds and the chaos erupts once again.

“Clarke--”

She locks on to your voice immediately, sight trained in your general direction. Among the slew of other voices, you wonder how she managed it, but she wastes no time in moving towards you. Her determination is to be admired at the very least.

“Clarke, slow down.”

“Not helping,” Clarke says in return, voice strained and arms outstretched, but she heeds your suggestion. “We don’t have forever, Lexa, where am I supposed to go?”

You take quick stock of your surroundings--the other stumbling couples, the tires and football dummies and random beachballs--and come to a quick conclusion. Just because you can’t lead her through it yourself, doesn’t mean you can’t walk it with her.

You stand in front of her, counting your steps until you can’t move forward anymore, a large blue football dummy blocking the way. “Six steps forward,” you call back to her. “No--no,” and she stops, “--no turning, just forward.”

Clarke huffs, but starts back up immediately, careful to keep in a straight line, and you get out of her way. She stops a bit short of the dummy, but for the most part you’d consider it a success. “Now what?”

“One big sidestep to the right,” you reply, and then you start all over again.

There’s a process to it, an almost rhythm that the two of you settle into as you make your way through the makeshift course piece by piece and Clarke listens intently. Without touch it’s a slow careful pace. By the time your feet away the crowd is a constant stream of shouts and you struggle to be heard over the chorus.

The moment she picks up the stuffed animal by the stage, the first sound of the air-horn blaring out across the practice field, and she tugs down the blindfold to see the evidence in her hands, the realization is slow to come. But when it does, it’s all consuming.

Clarke looks to you with wide disbelieving eyes and then back to the toy in her hand and lets out a little scream. Her body buzzes with energy, high off the feeling, and hurls herself at you, arms cinched around your neck and pulling the air from your lungs.

You stumble a few steps back, your right hand reaching up to stop her hat from falling off your head while the other finds its place around her waist. It keeps the two of you upright in the rush that follows. It doesn’t temper her excitement, however. In fact, it heightens it, and she bounces on the balls of her feel while her hug reaches bone breaking levels. You feel as if you’ve run another mile, but you consider the reward worth it.

“Clarke,” you say, and it's breathy from the air you can’t seem to inhale and she pulls away still holding your hand.

She studies you for a moment before shifting her attention to the field as the other couples snag the remaining items to qualify them for the next round. There’s a fire in her eyes and it burns when she turns back to you. “I think we can win this.”

You exhale and it escapes quietly among the noise, but you watch her and it’s her windswept hair, flushed cheeks and bright eyes. Her breathing comes in long steadying inhales, as if she’s collecting all the courage there deep in her gut. You wonder if that’s how it works; through sheer force of will.

“Does that mean you doubted me before?” you say, teasing, and she tugs the bill of the hat down over your eyes. Warmth floods to your chest and a smirk is quick to steal your lips. You clutch her hand tighter, but when you tilt the bill up again, she’s not looking at you anymore.

It's the moment you feel most lost in her.

You have this odd sense of dread when a small part the field is cleared in front of the platform and the staff hands out blindfolds to the remaining contestants. Clarke offers to tie it for you, slightly smug, and you decline the offer only because having her hands in your hair sounds like the beginning of a disaster. You wait until the last possible minute though, when they’re leading Clarke away and suddenly you find you’d rather be staring at the inside of a black cloth than watching her walk away from you.

It’s a bit dramatic to think, yes, but it feels like the truth.

You don’t quite know what’s going on but you let yourself be led, pliant as someone places you in an indeterminable spot on the field. The wait isn’t long though and you’re thankful. It's hardly a minute later when the microphone crackles and the man’s familiar voice picks up over the speakers.

“This is it, ladies and gentlemen. The ultimate test. The couples must find their way back together. Without sight, without sound. Only touch.” the crowd ohhhs and wolf whistles and you roll your eyes behind the blindfold. “You have five minutes. Good luck.”

The first hand you hold is large, calloused, and the touch lasts no longer than five seconds before the both of you let go and move on. The second is smaller, slender, and it makes you pause. Your mouth opens slightly, but you remember yourself, closing it before anything has a chance to make it out. They hold you too tight and it takes them a moment to realize you’re not holding them back.

The third… The tips of their fingers finds your arm--the point of your elbow, fingers cold and hesitant. they trail down the inside of your forearm and it feels like forever, but when she folds her hand into yours, her thumb brushing softly over your knuckles, you accept it gently.

Something in you flutters, right there in your chest. High and light and it’s a bit like losing the ability to breathe. Like having the wind knocked from your chest, but carefully, and how it fills again, softly. So you step in closer and breathe in, pressing your lips softly to her temple.

She squeezes your hand tighter and that’s the end of that.

(somewhere off in the stands you hear a few people cheer and it’s enough to quirk your lips against her skin)

You don’t know how long you stand there, but it's probably barely minutes, and when you get the okay, you hook a finger around the blindfold and tug it down. Clarke’s eyes are the first thing you see. Blue and a hint of sun. She raises your linked hands into the air, a triumphant gesture, and you can’t help but laugh when the crowd seems to agree.

The both of you, along with the two other couples who passed, are herded up onto the stage once things settle. Clarke tugs you, your linked hands hanging between the two of you, as she bounds up the steps with you in tow. The grin hasn’t left her face since the little show-off down on the field and it only grows under the attention. You’re the first up onto the stage and you move down to make room for the others.

The emcee starts with the couple closest to the steps. You recognize them to be the couple you saw at the beginning. The fire is still very much evident, but there’s a softness in the way the man has his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder, her body tucked comfortably into his side, her arm slung low around his hips. He catches you watching, and the knowing smile and quirked brow he shoots back at you makes you feel just a tad self-conscious. But there’s not much to look at besides Clarke, and the time it takes to succumb to that notion you already feel like you’ve proven his point.

So you don’t deny it, idly tucking a wayward strand of hair behind Clarke’s ear. At least not to yourself.

“And who have we here?”

The suddenness of the words surprises you and you turn your attention to the emcee and the microphone he reaches towards Clarke. There’s not an ounce of hesitation on her face.

“Clarke,” she says, and you can tell she’s enjoying this far too much. “This is Lexa.”

“And how long have you two been together?”

Clarke pulls a little away to look at you, amusement stretched wide across her face, carried in the apple of her cheeks and the grin she tries to fight off and the words just kind of fall out your mouth. “It feels like forever.”

The emcee laughs, nudging you with his elbow. “Is that good or bad?”

“Definitely good,” you reply, still focused on Clarke and that almost awed look she’s giving you.

“Do you think you have what it takes to win?”

You acknowledge him finally. “Yes.” There’s no hesitation in you either.

“What do you think?” he boasts, turning to address the audience. “Who should take home the coveted title?”

A mess of noise surrounds you, rising up, and it’s hard to make out heads or tails of anything. But what you can hear are chants of ‘kiss, kiss, kiss,’ echoing from the stands and its metronome is a steady beat amongst the growing chaos.

Satisfied with the reaction, the emcee turns to you and the other couples, grinning. “Well, you heard the crowd. Who’s first?”

The couple at the opposite end doesn’t wait, the small woman taking hold of her boyfriend by the collar of his shirt and dragging him down. He doesn’t seem to mind at all, smiling against it and pushing back when the surprise wears off and the reaction from the stands is immediate.

There’s whistling and hoots from friends in the stands and a middle finger courtesy of the girl wrapped around her boyfriend, but from what you can discern from the energy, it’s all in good fun.

The second couple, a tall, shy young man and his equally tall girlfriend, share a soft kiss that ends far too quickly for the audience's liking, but the girl laughs, hands cupping the back of her boyfriends head and leaning in again to peck his flushed cheeks with a quick, thankful kiss.

It’s when the noise dies down again that you realize there’s no one left but you.

Before you can comprehend it, Clarke takes you by the hips with such bravado you momentarily lose your train of thought, eyebrows wiggling in an attempt at alleviating the sudden tenseness she must feel in you. There’s a lopsided little tilt to her lips, but she waits for you, the crowd silent and watchful, and if you weren’t sure before, you are now.

You probably love her and the craziness of that thought doesn’t scare you as much as it should.

You cup her cheeks in your hands, and you feel more than hear the soft gasp she takes. You’d swear you could feel it under the tips of your fingers as you lean in, all slow and tortuous, noses touching first. Her breath fans across your mouth, uneven and a little bit nervous. Or perhaps that’s you, because you’re sure it’s her who closes the last few centimeters like she can’t take the thought of waiting a second longer and the cheer that erupts from the crowd is lost somewhere in the mess of your mind.

Maybe, you think. Maybe she’s just as breathless as you.

#clexa #clarke griffin #lexa #this was supposed to be stupid/fun and without stress but then it turned into a project #cc au #its basically all done tho so updates will be on sundays

17 notes · View notes

soybeansoyul · 7 years ago

Text

complete. | jinhwi

pairings: jinhwi, panwink, minhwan, ongniel

summary: jinyoung needs someone to fill the void in him. he’s also looking for a new housemate. and some money.

warnings: idk swearing?

chapters: 1/2

cross-posted from aff, ao3 and wattpad.

jinyoung groans as he looks at his tuition bills. he still has more envelopes laying on the kitchen counter. more bills, probably. "fuck you, park jihoon," jinyoung mutters as he opens another envelope.

he rolls his eyes at how his best friend had moved out of their shared apartment just to live with his boyfriend of 3 years - an extremely tall taiwanese boy named guanlin.

boyfriend.

jinyoung whips out his phone to make a google search.

is it normal if ive never dated anyone and im like 20?

he skims through the search results and puts his phone down.

bjy @baejin

YALL its comfirmed im dying alone im gonna b single 4 lyfe !!11!

bjy @baejin

jk im not lonely or desperate i just need money

bjy @baejin

if u wanna sponsor ur boy's tuition pls hmu !

woojin @nationsdarkpast

@baejin if jaehwan-hyung could find someone u can too! WOOOO

sungwoon is shaking @kingjaehwan

@baejin @nationsdarkpast THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN ???

an idea pops into jinyoung's head. he heads to his bedroom and grabs his laptop.

jinyoung plugs out one of his earphones and turns to glare at the couple sitting behind him.

bjy @baejin

who in the fuck holds hands while studying?? its a damn library get out if ur gonna hanky panky and not study ffs

minhyun @optimushwang

And here we have another episode of Angsty Teen

it was sejeong and doyoung - the presidents of choir. the two seniors had heavenly voices and they were one of the sweetest couples on campus. jinyoung just didn't appreciate having to hear their "haha i love you" "no i love you more!" debate while he was trying to finish his essay.

"why so glum?" he looks up to see daniel, along with seongwoo and jisung. "i'm not, i'm just annoyed at the PDA," jinyoung replies, and continues to type away at his laptop. "by the way, hi hyungs,"

"how have you been? you seem really stressed out lately," jisung asks, concerned. "i'm fine. just broke." jinyoung's eyes don't leave his laptop.

"you're renting out your apartment, right?" seongwoo asks, sipping his coffee. "jihoon replacement?" "yup. and nah, i just need the money."

daniel looks over at seongwoo before speaking. "actually, i have a friend who's interested in moving in," daniel says. jinyoung's eyes instantly light up. "really?"

daniel nods. "do you want his number?" "yes, please!" the trio swears they haven't seen jinyoung so happy in a while. "thank you, daniel!"

baejin: hey, daehwi right?

maguhwi: yep!

baejin: u wanna come over to see the place and stuff? we can discuss afterwards if ur keen

maguhwi: sure ^^

baejin: [address attached]

maguhwi: thanks! see you tomorrow at 4?

baejin: see u :-)

jinyoung opens the door, only to be greeted by the most adorable boy he's ever seen.

you just met him, jinyoung, don't hoe around-

"hi! i'm daehwi, nice to meet you!" the blonde bows, and jinyoung does the same. "i'm jinyoung, nice to meet you too," daehwi was a little shorter than jinyoung, and he had uneven eyelids. jinyoung thought that was cute.

"so, how old are you?" jinyoung starts, waiting for daehwi to step into the apartment. "19."

"oh, i'm 20." daehwi hums in response, and the taller of the two shows him around.

it's daehwi's first day living with jinyoung, and jinyoung wakes up to daehwi gently shaking him.

"dude, what the fu-"

"i made breakfast, jinyoungie!" daehwi smiles, and jinyoung has question marks floating around in his head.

jinyoungie?

"whoa, how do you look so handsome even when you just woke up?" jinyoung nearly chokes on his own saliva, but somehow manages to shapen up anyway. this beautiful stranger he was now sharing his apartment with - made him breakfast and called him handsome? he snaps out of his daze when daehwi grabs his arm and drags him to the kitchen.

if jinyoung had to name one thing he had learnt about daehwi over the course of 2 weeks - was that the smaller boy was exceptionally clingy. oh, and adorable too.

jinyoung doesn't know how he ended up with daehwi in his lap, leaning against his chest on their couch, watching movies. it was a friday night and neither of the two had plans to leave the house. by the 2nd movie, jinyoung was already sound asleep.

be wakes up at 4am to make a trip to the bathroom - he realises he's in his bed, which is definitely not where he fell asleep. he pokes his head out of his door, and daehwi is still there, wide awake, onto the 4th movie already.

the taller boy is secretly envious of the latter - daehwi didn't go to school. when questioned, he simply said he was taking a year's break to "realize stuff". daehwi could pull all-nighters and do practically anything he wanted, while jinyoung was a (not-so-anymore) broke college student struggling to keep his eyes open in class.

once again, jinyoung doesn't know how, but daehwi somehow ended up being his best friend. the boy was similar to him in a way that they both rarely left the house. as much as jinyoung hated to admit it, he was a sucker for skinship ; and he's always wanted to have someone to hug to sleep. he now does have someone - daehwi. his heart feels like it's about to explode sometimes - he doesn't know what this feeling is. is this love?

friends share the same bed although they have their own rooms, friends kiss each other on the cheek, friends cuddle, friends shower together, right? this, this is all platonic, right?

"hyung, are you single?" the blonde boy currently straddling jinyoung asks. jinyoung nearly chokes on his coffee.

"yeah."

"you've never had a boyfriend?"

"yeah. never."

"but hyung, you're so handsome. and you're so lovely," jinyoung snickers, and shakes his head.

"no! hyung, you're the best-"

jinyoung doesn't know when the younger's lips had looked so plump and soft, but he quickly learns that he posesses zero self-control when he cups daehwi's face and leans forward to kiss him. he thinks he's going crazy - his heart has never pounded so fast before.

"no, daehwi-yah, it's not what you think it is-"

"yeah, staying up late just to wait for you to come home, only to see you drunk with some woman at the club? right." daehwi spat, anger brazen on his face. "

she's just a friend, hwi," jinyoung sighs, head in his hands. it was true - he was just drinking with the president of his club.

"whatever, go spend more time with your friend, then. we've been together for a year and a half now, i can't believe you'd pull this shit on me," daehwi's furious, and storms out the door before jinyoung can even stop him.

shit. there i go, fucking up everything once again.

niel: wtf happened

baejin: i dont fucking know ok i fucked shit up

niel: :( daehwi's w me and ong rn

baejin: take care of him

baejin: sorry

baejin: i always mess up

"hyung? i'm so, i don't like seeing jinyoung with other people! i don't feel good!" daehwi screams, startling the couple, who were sitting on the couch.

"jealousy? anger?" daniel looks at his boyfriend, confused.

"how in the fuck-"

jinyoung swears to never let daehwi go so easily again. he's glad he has the smaller boy back in his arms. he falls asleep with the latter as his teddy bear. he's been told by others that he seems a lot happier now - and jinyoung thinks it's true. daehwi is the epitome of perfection, it's as if his hands were made for jinyoung ; and jinyoung only. his first love - and his first kiss, his first time holding hands with someone else. jinyoung always felt empty, but with daehwi, he felt complete. jinyoung hopes he never loses him.

jinyoung learns that good things don't last forever when he finds daehwi, laying on the living room floor, pale, eyes shut, with no sign of life whatsoever.

“daehwi, can you hear hyung? yah, daehwi!" jinyoung shakes him, and he freezes once he hits the cold, hard reality - daehwi's heart isn't beating.

"daehwi, don't scare hyung! it isn't funny!" he shakes him once again, using his phone to call for an ambulance.

"doctor, is he okay?" jinyoung stands up when the doors burst open.

"kid, is this a prank?" the doctor, dongho, according to his nametag, asks.

"what?" jinyoung shakes his head in disbelief.

"why would you bring a robot to a hospital?"

"what? he's my boyf-"

"kid, he's a robot. do we have to unscrew all of this mechanism to prove it to you?" dongho raises an eyebrow.

jinyoung's hair is all messed up, his eyes are puffy and tears are falling from them. he can't believe what's happening.

"he's human - his heartbeat stopped just now, doctor, just help him!"

"he never had a heartbeat. he's a robot."

jinyoung cries even harder, when jisung and minhyun drag him away to the carpark of the hospital. his 7 other friends are waiting for him there.

"you, you knew all along, right?" jinyoung storms up to daniel and grabs him by the collar. "yeah, i knew. we just wanted to help you, jinyoung-" he stutters and minhyun has to step in before jinyoung can throw a punch at daniel.

"all of you knew, too? you all knew he wasn't human?" jinyoung screams, and the 9 nod their head in shame.

"so is this what your fucking shady ass company is about?" he glares at seongwoo and daniel, voice all hoarse, the two looking the most guilty out of all of the boys.

"jinyoung, let us explain," seongwoo puts a hand on jinyoung's shoulder, but jinyoung slaps it away.

"don't talk to me." and with that, jinyoung leaves.

he can't believe it - daehwi, his first love, the one that completed him ; was just a robot. jinyoung laughs bitterly as he walks down the street.

he knew things were too good to be true. who would fall in love with him, anyway?

a/n im so sorry for what ive done

inspo credits go to @/leedaehwi on ao3 for the social media au part!!

#jinhwi #deephwi #produce 101 #wanna one #wanna one imagines #wanna one scenarios #jinhwi scenarios #jinhwi imagines #bae jinyoung #lee daehwi #daehwi scenarios #daehwi imagines #bae jinyoung scenarios #bae jinyoung imagines #panwink #ongniel #minhwan

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