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#wanted to record this moment for when those days the inner demons get too loud
theanonymousninja247 · 2 months
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Philia
Love isn’t always some big grandiose moment or occasion
Sometimes…
Sometimes love is just your best friend buying you cake with whip cream because she knows you don’t care for frosting and then “sneaking” the package into your room because she’s a devious little gremlin like that.
Sometimes love is the feeling of cake tasting sweeter because it was given by someone who cares 🧡🍰
I see you, you little buttnugget @anobodyinabog
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wickdcreatures · 7 months
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Since the possession, most of the people Salem goes ghost hunting with, whether professionals or amateurs like himself, have told him going in by himself is a terrible idea. If he had a team waiting just outside the door, that’s one thing. If his team was waiting for him outside the building, that’s iffy but doable — but they have told him, time and time again, that going alone into a haunted location without anyone was nothing but trouble. 
Did he listen? Of course not. This was supposed to be a place of high activity, was he supposed to turn it down?
He had tried to find someone to go with him, anyone at all — but those who agreed had to decline at the last minute, and many didn’t want to go at all. Whatever is in this house, he was told, was nothing to mess with. Many urged him against going, stating that the activity in the house is borderline demonic. He knows demons, he’s intimately familiar with demons — this shouldn’t be that hard. Holy water and a cross should cover it. He should be fine.
The house was dark, nestled in a quiet neighborhood with sparse trees and large hedges. New construction, which does seem a bit odd; it’s certainly not impossible for a newly built home to be haunted, but the calls he gets with activity this strong usually comes from small cottages with rich histories, not something built a decade ago max. Curious as ever, Salem makes his way further inside, turning on the small camera strapped to his chest. 
The family hasn’t been in the house for a few days, too afraid to step foot inside with whatever invisible creature roams the halls. The air is stale when Salem walks in, like all the oxygen has been sucked clean out — his mouth almost tastes like dust when he walks further in, closing the front door behind him, careful not to latch the door too hard. Silence, stretching far into the house, the sort of silence that makes Salem’s inner ear ache, only broken by the sound of his headlamp clicking on and his own, labored breathing. 
         “ Hello? ”    Salem calls to the emptiness within, back practically pressed against the front door,    “ Anybody here? ”
A creak in the bedroom down the hall, who’s door hangs open just enough to let the moonlight filling the room flood onto the hallway carpet. Salem feels the hair on his arms and the back of his neck raise — an easy find, inviting, almost. Strange, given the attacks he has heard about within these walls, Violent, brutal — scratch marks and burns, even sometimes teeth. Salem pulls the spirit box from his belt and flips it on as he checks other rooms in the house. Static cuts through the silence like a serrated knife. 
        “ How old are you? ”    silence,     “ Is this your home? ”     more silence,    “ Did you die in this place— ”
𝙽𝙾 ,
says a voice from the spirit box held firmly in Salem’s nervous, sweaty palm earning in a rather loud yelp in response. The floor creaks behind him, and he feels… something’s eyes on him. 
        “ Okay, ”    Salem breathes, struggling to find his words as he scans the darkened room with his headlamp,    “ Were you summoned here? ”
𝚈𝙴𝚂 .
Such clear and quick answers aren’t terribly common, or at least not in a tangible way that matters to others, so Salem lets the excitement outway the fear in this moment. He has his audio recording, proof he has always wanted to capture. Maybe he will finally get the evidence he so desires. 
         “ Where are you? Which room is your favorite? ”    Salem speaks again, voice a little stronger — a little braver. 
𝙱𝙴𝙳𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙼 . 𝙱𝙻𝚄𝙴 𝚂𝙷𝙴𝙴𝚃𝚂 . 𝙼𝙾𝙾𝙽𝙻𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 . 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙴 .  
And Salem follows. 
It’s a teenagers room, full of angsty posters, trendy clothing and beat up school supplies. The curtains are parted wide, letting in the pale gray moonlight that beats down on everything in sight. He barely needs his flashlight in here, only to see within the pitch black shadows the moonlight doesn’t bare touching. The atmosphere is noticeably different, more dense, like someone is in the room with him. He can feel that he isn’t alone. 
         “ Did you hurt the family that lives in this house? ”     Salem speaks to the spirit box, still on and rumbling static in his palm as he takes a seat on the nice, plush, unmade bed… this time, however, he gets nothing in response. Off in the corner of his vision, he sees a book move across the desk, dragging itself slowly against the surface before stopping just short of falling off. 
         “ If you want me to turn off the spirit box, give me a sign. Move something for me again. ”
One, two, three seconds go by. Nothing moves, nothing creaks. Salem feels a chill run up his spine but he brushes it off. Whether or not the ghost wants him to turn it off, he thinks it’s time to be plunged into silence again. And so slowly, reluctantly, Salem turns the dial of the spirit box to the off position, placing it back in its holster on his belt. God, he hopes his camera is recording right now…
Everything is quiet again, painfully so until his ears adjust once again. The sound of his own breathing fills the room, as well as the soft pattering on the window as the brightness of the moon is covered by thick, low hanging clouds. Suddenly, whatever moonlight shone onto the room was gone, leaving him sitting with only the dimming light of his headlap to see by. Like something straight out of a horror movie. Salem chews on the inside of his lip. The longer he sits, the more he gets a bad feeling about this place. 
But then again, the more he should be here to help. The owners of this house refuse to keep staying in a place so haunted, but they also have nowhere else to go. He would feel awful leaving them in just the same state they were in when they called him, albeit with a few more spirit box answers than they had before. He could try to do something — he is no exorcist but he knows how to communicate with the dead… if he can just figure out what this entity wants…
          “ Please, if you have anything you wish to say to me… ”     Salem looks around the room. In the corner he thinks he can hear the ticking of an old alarm clock. The rain on the window is a little louder than before,     “ My name is Salem and I would love to listen. ”
In the distance, a door creaks. A cupboard slams shut and a dining room chair scratches across hardwood floors. Salem closes his eyes and tries to ground himself. The darkness is already starting to give him the willies. His breath comes out in shaky bursts. The room is so cold. He feels it only gets colder. 
         “ What do you want from the family that lives here? ”     Salem mutters out into the quiet again, somewhat thankful that the rain has begun to pick up more to help alleviate some tension. He receives no response. 
         “ Do you want to hurt them — ? ”     A violent crack of thunder outside has Salem standing with a start, fists curled tight into balls at his side. His heart pounds hard in his ears, his breath ragged and hoarse. Floorboards creak next to the door, gentle — as though someone is tip toeing. A stuffed animal falls from a shelf on the wall. Salem squints against the dark, toward the noises and the motion — a shadow stands between him and the door, swaying back and forth as though it is listening to some sort of music, some gentle tune that Salem himself can’t make out. One thing that Salem can most definitely make out, however, is the sharp, claw light appendages the shadow figure flexes at its side. 
         “ … Do you want to hurt me…? ”     It was an involuntary question, one less spoken to gain evidence, but one spoken out of fear. Salem shakes as he stares, unblinking at this creature until his eyes sting and his muscles feel stiff. He feels a hot breath on the nape of his neck.
He flinches and he blinks, no longer able to keep his eyes open, he opens them again to an empty room. The shadow is one, the creaking has stopped and nothing more is thrown. Salem feels as though his heart is about to beat right out of his chest. Was that threatening? Was this spirit trying to scare him? He wasn’t sure, but for now, Salem decides to get out while he is ahead. As much as this family needs help, so does he — he should have listened to his team before and not gone alone. 
He doesn’t bother checking that he has all of his stuff. He doesn’t bother looking around the room to make sure there is nothing lurking in the corners — he moves out of that back room and into the hallway, where the temperature is much warmer and the air feels marginally easier to breathe. Salem flicks on a light, casting everything in sight in a warm yellow glow. The shadows don’t seem so tall now, the edges of the room don’t feel as though they are open maws, cavernous and hungry, waiting to swallow him up. Bathed in artificial light, Salem hunches, putting his hands on his knees to catch his breath as another bout of thunder crackles overhead. Maybe with the promise of a lit room, he can feel brave enough to return to the room, to ask more questions and seek more answers. Maybe with the promise of a lit room just beyond he can try his best to ask the spirit to leave. He stands to his full height, running a hand over his sweaty, clammy face, taking a nice, long deep breath to center himself. 
         “ Damn, house got hands — okay. You got this, Salem. Just one more time. If you can’t find anything, no big deal. There is always next time. ”     Salem murmurs to himself, turning slowly to face the room once again. Another breath and he takes one, two, three shaky steps back toward the room, back into the dark. 
It’s much colder now, a stench emanating from further within the room, one that smells of rotting and iron and sulfur. It’s harder to breathe now, too, the air seemingly thicker than it was just moments before. For a moment, Salem wonders if the teenager that this room belongs to has messed with something they shouldn’t have, messed around with a summoning spell they found online or maybe even a ouija board and didn’t know how to handle what came through on the other side. Not that he would have known, either, and the evidence of that still writhes inside his body like a parasite, clawing his way up his throat from time to time. Maybe he isn’t the best equipped for this, maybe he should wait for others to come help him. Maybe he should ask Benji, one that has a much higher success rate with controlling events such as this. Yeah, maybe he should go back. He turns on his heels to retrace his steps back out of the room. 
Deep dark voids where eyes should be stare into his, long thick hair that hangs in front of its face. Salem smells its rancid, rotten breath and the only thing that keeps him from retching is the panic that overtakes him. Too close, far too close. He can feel the chill radiating off of the figure in front of him but he is too frozen in place to move. The creature raises its gnarled, clawed hand, but Salem can’t move. One of its sharp nails makes contact with the sweaty skin above his left eye, but Salem can’t move. It drags the digit down, horrible pain blooming from its path, but Salem can’t move. He can’t look away or move or make a noise — only stare dead on as this creature drags its nasty claw from his brow down over his eye to the flesh of his cheek, dragging his glasses off his face and onto the floor. The vision in his left eye goes red, then all black altogether, Salem musters up everything he can to make a noise, to move, to do anything.  He shuts his eyes again, the only thing he can manage as the blinding pain begins to spread throughout the entire left side of his face. He can feel blood trickle down from his chin, hitting the fabric of his shirt and the pristine hardwood floors below. When he opens his eyes the figure is gone, but lights deeper within the house flicker violently. The tv turns on and off. Cups and plates and picture frames fly this way and that. Salem clutches his eye, taking a step forward without thinking about it — crunch goes his glasses under his shoe. It doesn’t stop him, thought, from booking it straight out of the house.
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xseaxwitchxkpop · 3 years
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NSFW Alphabet: Sub!Seonghwa Edition
A/N: idk anyone in Ateez who pushes the catboy agenda more than hwa and this precious soul just makes me have cute aggression. Lemme just remind everyone that stage presence ≠ bedroom preference, so he might be a demon on stage but I personally think he's very far from dominant in the bedroom. Also this is framed for a femme!presenting reader.
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
A very clingy baby! Even though he's the sub, he would want to hold you instead of the other way around; when you're cleaning up, give him a plushie to snuggle because he just feels very happy holding something. He would also have the most sparkly eyes ever, looking at you with pure love and adoration. He'll also be very hungry, so always have some food on hand and be prepared to be fed by him because "you need it, too, I don't care if you're my domme, lemme feed you and show you my love!"
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He's fave part on himself is probably his eyes because he knows how expressive they are for him and how transparent they are -- his eyes always betray his true emotions and considering he's a more private person, he likes this. His fave part on you would be your breasts, but not in a sexual way; whether you're part of the itty bitty titty committee or big titty gang, he likes them as a comfort thing, groping them or sucking on your nipples, it's very calming and relaxing for him!
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
He loves his face to be covered in either pussy juices/"cum" (since, ya know, pussies don't ejaculate lmao anyway) or use fake cum (or real cum if you have an actual dick) to cover his face and/or inner thighs, it'll get him going like nothing else. He also loves seeing his midsection painted with his own cum and also eating his own cum.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Every once in a while, he likes to fuck his plushies. No one would suspect this because he takes much care in cleaning them immediately afterward, so they keep their softness and hugability. He's recorded himself doing it a few times but always either deletes the videos or keeps them in a separate, unsuspecting folder in his phone; he's thought about sending them to you but never could bring himself to do so.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
He's had a few hook ups but most of them have been pretty vanilla as many hook ups tend to be, he knows what he's doing especially with that tongue of his.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
Probably missionary, with you on your back and him fucking you. He can easily kiss you, suck on your neck or nipples, and you can easily grab his hair roughly, pull him in closer, scratch his back with your nails, and you two can make intense eye contact. Yeah, that's his favorite position.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
He's more passionate about it than anything. He likes it rough but not necessarily fast, and he likes it soft but not necessarily gentle. It's a very delicate balance that he prefers most of the time and can be difficult to pin down when the mood has to be forced from either of you -- when that happens, he rather not have sex at all.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Trimmed, doesn't bother to shave and he doesn't care what you do; bush, no bush, trimmed, shaved, waxed, whatever. However, he likes it when you shave for him down there as a sweet bonding experience, nothing kinky or sexual.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
He's very sincere and very intense during sex, especially with someone he's romantically involved with because he's not the most open person and, like Yeosang, takes some prying open emotionally so when he shares that emotional part of himself and trusts that other person, that translates directly to the bedroom. He can be a little goofy if he's particularly happy that day, like giggly kisses n' shit, but otherwise very sincere, very intense.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
If he jacks off, you know about it because he sends you audios of himself getting himself off, complete with moans, whimpers, groans, muffling himself, and him cumming in the end of it. He never sends videos, though, because his ass has a voice kink. He masturbates semi regularly just because he has a high sex drive and you're not always available so he temporarily satisfies himself.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
So, this man, has some kinks that get me thinking. He has an oral fixation for sure, so anything involving his tongue; he definitely has a breeding kink like hard-core "let me breed you, mommy/daddy, I wanna give you babies" breeding kink, more so than San; temperature play; pegging/anal play; cock rings; nail scratching; biting/marking; kitten play; shibari; restraints; voice kink; ASMR kink.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Hmmmm, maybe the bedroom? He doesn't really have a favorite place to do anything because each place brings a different kind of thrill for him, so anywhere he can look at and easily imagine you commanding him to take you or you taking him is his favorite place. His least favorite place is the shower because the water washes away the lube and is just generally an annoying interruption.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Doing a sexy, feminine dance for you. Sexy girl group concepts? He learns the choreo and dances it just for you; turns him on because he enjoys you intently watching him while being just out of reach. Rubbing your hand up and down his thigh, no matter how innocent, will also turn him on greatly. Also if you cook for him -- it can be as simple as ramen but as soon as he sees that you cooked for him, he's ready to pounce you and be at your every command.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
I don't think he would be into piss play or scat play (absolutely no hate to people who are into this lol) but I think he wouldn't like them just because he's a bit of a clean freak and all he would see is a mess to clean up and that would definitely ruin the mood for him. Another definite turn off of his is extreme pain; he likes a little bit here and there, like slapping his ass and thighs, nail scratches wherever you scratch him, but flogging and riding crops are a no go for him.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
He LIVES for giving oral and that's directly from his oral fixation. It keeps his mouth busy plus he gets to please his partner. Again, he also loves his face covered in cum and/or pussy juices, so oral is definitely such fun for him!
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Moderate. He likes it a little faster than slower, but not exactly fast, if you get what I'm saying. He likes to feel you and you to feel him, so he wants it on the slower side of things but a slightly fast pace will be suitable for the most part. Only every once in a blue moon would he want you to fuck his brains out or to fuck yours out.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Quickies involving penetration? Nah, not a fan. Quickies involving oral? Sign him the fuck up. He wants to see how fast he can get you to orgasm with just his tongue and since you derive such pleasure from it as well, you let him take on this challenge.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
As long as extreme pain is not involved, he's game for a lot of things. He's always wanted to try semi public sex, voyeurism, and submissive cuckolding, but he would only try this with one of his members since he trusts them quite a lot.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
I think he could probably go two, three rounds, maybe four if he has a crapton of energy for God only knows what reason. He has experience, jacks off sort of regularly, so he can last a good while in bed while being pounded into or pounding into you.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He's got dildos of varying sizes because he, like San, is also a size queen. He has a couple of buttons plugs and some vibrators, along with handcuffs and bondage rope. He has a couple pairs of kitten ears and a matching choker and butt plug.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He likes to tease, but not in a bratty way. It's a very sweet way, like poking your cheek and rubbing it like a cat as he strokes your inner thigh and ghosts your genitals, teases you with food like "hey if I make this dish, maybe you can fuck my ass tonight" and he'd act all cutesy about it, he'll make suggestive comments while making direct eye contact, and wiggle his butt sometimes.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He's a happy medium between San and Yeosang. Hwa makes noise - groans, whimpers, moans, mewling - but he isn't loud with them per say, they're very throaty noises and he uses his chest to make them so they're low in volume but frequent.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
He quite prefers the natural noises of sex between you two rather than having a playlist or any other background noise going. He's sensitive to noise in the first place and the background noise could overwhelm him in a bad way.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
He's average. Nothing too long, nothing too girthy, but boy does he know how to use his average dick regardless.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
He has a bit of a high sex drive. Think like smack in the middle of average horny and extremely horny and that's Hwa. He can go like three days without sex with no complaints but coming up on a fourth day may be a little bit hard for him.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He becomes quite sleepy afterward, wanting to snuggle you to fall asleep while you rub his back up and down and he holds you and squeezes you like his personal plushie. It takes a while for him to actually fall asleep, but that's because it takes him a while to calm down enough to lull into a peaceful state of rest before succumbing to sleep.
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All About Eavesdropping - Loki x Reader - Words: 1,835
“You want us to what?” You yelled. 
“I need you and Elsa here to go to Greenland for about a month,” Tony said. You stared at him from across his worktable in his lab. 
“Why in Valhalla would we need to do that, Stark?” Loki retorted. “And don’t call me Elsa.” Tony had called the two of you in there right after breakfast saying that he had a very important job for you. This, however, did not seem to be all that special.
“For purely scientific purposes, of course,” He replied, mouthful of blueberries.
“And those would be?” You sighed, facedesking. 
“The new winter stealth suits I designed. I need them tested in the field. I’ve run as many lab tests as possible but,” Tony shrugged. “Field tests are absolutely necessary. Everything you’ll need is either in these boxes or in the house in Greenland. If you want to take any other personal stuff you’ll want to grab it before you leave.”
“And you think we’re the best for the job?” You asked.
“He’s already a popsicle so if it gets too cold he can deal with it and you can heal yourself or him anyway,” Tony said like it was the most logical thing in the world. Loki tensed at his words but didn’t say anything about it.
“Fine,” Loki grunted. He grabbed the box Tony had marked for him and headed for the doors. 
“You leave at 6! Don’t be late!” 
“I wouldn’t dare disappoint you, Stark,” Loki sassed before finally stalking out. 
“Have fun!” Tony grinned at you, wiggling his eyebrows. 
“First of all, perv. Second of all, ain’t gonna happen!” You replied. “Why are you doing this? This whole thing is a direct attack on a part of him he doesn’t like to address!” 
“Well I figured he has to grow up one day and deal with it. We all have inner demons to fight. I figured I’d help him.”
“A bit not good there, Sherlock.” Tony snorted in laughter and shook his head. 
“Would you rather I send him with Steve?” Your eyes widened comically.
“Nope!” You exclaimed, popping the p. “I think we’ll do just fine.” You grabbed your box and headed out as well.   
By 6 o'clock, the two of you were flying out on one of Tony's jets. "So, what do you think of the new suits?" You asked Loki, trying to make some conversation.
"They are no match for true Asgardian leather and would be greatly improved by at least a cape," He replied sounding rather bored. 
"Oh," You said. "How exactly are we to be testing the suits again? I forget what Tony said."
"He said nothing, darling. It was all in his infernal little packet." You blushed lightly at the pet name and nodded. 
"Alright, well, I guess I'm just going to," You paused, unsure of what to do. It was obvious Loki was not interested in conversation but there wasn't much to do on the jet. "I'm just going to sit over there," You said, getting up quickly and moving to the other side of the jet. The rest of the flight was quiet, Loki only speaking up to alert you that you were about to land. 
"Surely the man of iron could not possibly want us to stay here," Loki said, getting out and seeing the small house.
"Maybe it's bigger on the inside," You said hopefully. Gathering your few things, you both headed in. "Oh this is so much worse," You groaned. The large main room consisted of the dining and living rooms and the kitchen. However, it was very sparsely decorated. You could see a stack of groceries in the kitchen along with a note. Loki wandered off to explore the bathroom and bedrooms, you assumed, while you read the note. 
"Find anything of interest?" Loki called out, surprising you.
"Just that Tony said if we didn't like the food or somehow ran out there's a grocery store about 10 miles away."
"And just how does he expect us to go there?" Loki yelled, getting increasingly frustrated. 
"The note says our transportation is out back." You walked down the small hallway to the back door and looked outside. Stifling a laugh you called out, "Hey, Loki! I think your ex is here!"
"My who?" Loki replied, very confused. "I have no 'exes', as you call them, on Midgard." You smirked and moved aside so Loki could look. When he saw what was in the backyard, a strange look crossed over his face. "Run," He said in a dangerously calm voice. 
"I beg your pardon?" You replied.
"Run if you don't want to lose your phone," He smirked back. You laughed but you did take off running. He chased you back out to the main room but you ran out the front door. "Don't think you can escape me!" He called out. 
"Wanna bet?" You called back, running to the backyard. You quickly jumped on one of the two horses you had seen and took off. 
"Oh, you'll regret saying that, my dear," Loki grinned, getting on the other horse and taking off after you. 
The next few days continued in a similar pattern. There wasn't much to do so you and Loki would often spend your time exploring the woods behind the house or riding the horses or just talking. Loki had warmed up to you quite a bit, pun intended, and you were quite happy. Of course, you recorded the events of each day in your diary. Well, it was less of a diary and more of a collection of special moments you wanted to remember and sketches you'd made. You had just finished writing today's events when you heard a loud clatter and Loki call you from the kitchen.
"Y/N!" He said. "Can you come here please?" You quickly put your notebook in the nightstand drawer and hurried out to the kitchen.
"What in the world happened, Loki?" You exclaimed, holding back a laugh. Loki was laying on the floor, covered in a mixture of flour and eggs it seemed, with various cups and bowls around him. 
"I was attempting to reach a mixing bowl on the top shelf when I slipped on an egg and pulled the shelf down," He admitted.
"You're telling the truth!" You gasped, openly chuckling at the situation now.
"Of course, love! I couldn't lie to you." You blushed brightly, as he often made you do with those pet names. 
"Uh, well," You stuttered. "Why don't you go wash up and I'll finish," You paused, glancing around. "Whatever you were making."
"I was attempting to make breakfast," He grinned. "But I think I should make myself clean instead, hm?" 
"Yes, you should," You smirked. "Wouldn't want anyone thinking you were greying early."
"You-" He exclaimed, standing quickly. For a moment you thought he was truly angry, but his eyes sparkled with mischief. He reached onto the counter and threw a handful of flour at you before running off to the bathroom. You laughed, dusted yourself off, and got to work on breakfast.
About an hour later, he came back out and sat across you at the counter. "Your breakfast, my prince," You smiled, presenting him his plate. He smiled and you ate in silence for a time. 
"I've been reading a lot lately," He commented. 
"Mhm," You replied, mouthful of syrupy pancakes. 
"The last book I read had some rather interesting sketches in it too."
"Really?" You asked, truly interested. "I love art. Can you show it to me?" You took a large gulp of milk as he replied.
"My dear," He said, setting down his fork. "I read your diary." You coughed, almost choking on your ill-timed drink. 
"You what?" You screeched. "How dare you invade my privacy like that and-"
"Don't you care to know what I thought?" He interrupted.
"Why? So you can laugh at me, oh Mr. High-and-" He cut you off by leaning over the counter and kissing you earnestly. "Oh, that's nice," You said once you pulled away. 
"Just nice?" He smirked. "I guess I'll have to work on that." He kissed you once more before you pulled away, cheeks flushed and eyes wide.
"I just remembered something!" You gasped. 
"What's wrong?" You quickly pulled out the pamphlet Tony had made you about the suit testing. You then gestured to a paragraph under a subheading of RECORDING ANY AND ALL TEST RESULTS
ALL TEST RESULTS MUST BE RECORDED BY THE TESTERS USING THE STEPS LISTED. TO ENSURE NOTHING IS MISSED, HOWEVER, THE HOUSE WILL ALSO BE UNDER 24/7 SURVEILLANCE TO TRACK ANY UNRECORDED RESULTS.
OUTSIDE - AUDIO/VIDEO
INSIDE - AUDIO ONLY
Loki grinned and leaned into you, lips brushing against your ear. He whispered something and you giggled. "Loki!" You gasped. "We can’t do that here!"
"Oh, yes," He purred. "We can do it anywhere we want if we're creative enough." 
"But outside is so much more exciting," You grinned. "So," you paused, struggling to find the right word. "Freeing!"
"Please do not do anything outdoors where I can see!" You heard a loud voice yell. You both quickly realized it was coming from the monitoring system.
"Steve? Is that you?" You called back with a chuckle. 
"Yeah, Tony insisted I take a turn on guard duty," He grumbled. "Look, I'm sorry I interrupted," He paused awkwardly. "Whatever you were doing but could you please not do it outside? Outside has cameras." Loki laughed loudly and you did too. 
"We really didn't mean to prank you, Cap. I thought Tony was on the other end of that mic."
"I however have no objections to how this turned out," Loki added. You whacked him arm lightly and shook your head. "Truthfully, though, we were only speaking of testing another aspect of the suit. I whispered to Y/N my idea and-"
"I get it," Cap replied quickly. You couldn't see him but you could tell he was embarrassed. "I'll make you two a deal. Behave yourselves, finish the tests, and get home early and I'll help you prank Tony here in the tower. Ok?"
"You have yourself a deal, Captain," Loki grinned. 
"Alright. I'm going to take a nap now. Don't do anything stupid."
"Oh we won't," Loki smirked, wrapping his arms around you and planting light kisses on your neck.
"Loki!" You squealed.
"Do you want to prank Tony or not?" Steve yelled. "I can't see you but I can hear you! And that didn't sound like suit testing. Get to work! If you do as you're supposed to, you'll be done in a week."
"Yes, sir," You both grumbled. Loki, ever the mischief maker, wasn't about to let up. He grabbed a towel and twirled it, smacking your backside with it as you walked away. 
"What was that for?" You asked.
"Loki, did you just-"
"For purely scientific purposes, I assure you," He replied. Steve groaned in frustration.
"This is gonna be a long week."
Loki Taglist
@lucywrites02
@delightfulheartdream
@serpentargo
@khena
@nyx2021
@kaz11283
@weasley-main-lover
@up-to-mischief
@lokislittlesigyn
​Marvel (all characters) Taglist
@bartv21
@another-crazy-fangirl
@whatafuckingdumbass
@ladylulu143
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206 notes · View notes
hinabes · 5 years
Photo
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Soft Serve Cone’s Backstory
A story about promises.
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I.World Demolition
It was the best of times-- Humans had bested the elves and created a new world where they ruled.
It was the worst of times-- Fallen angels, bad guys born from the curses of elves, kept invading human settlements.
“--And you food souls,” With an air of self-satisfaction, Westminster went on and on, talking about things I didn’t really understand while he struck a match.
“See, you guys are like the flame. While we humans are the friction on the match, in the end, you guys are the lit fuse.”
He turned to face me, the prancing, flickering flame in his hand putting a crafty smile on his face, eyes brightly lit.
“Little Cone, are you afraid?” “What’s there to be afraid of! Go on! Toss it in to see what happens!”
I didn’t want to listen to his boring and cryptic philosophies and pestered him to toss the match in the fuse notch of the experiment.
“Hahaha, you’re so like me!”
He let go. The burning match fell into the notch and the fuse instantly lit, its flame racing into the inner workings of the experiment. Sparks flew, and Westminster grabbed my hand, pulling me to duck away.
A huge explosion resounded, followed by Westminster’s excited chatter.
“--And so, let’s blow this world up.”
Alas, moments later.
“Ah… Another failure!”
I picked through the debris of the experiment for the thing we were refining for, to no avail.
“Don’t get too down, failure is but another step to success.” Westminster comforted me.
“This… Alright, how are you able to convince me every time?” “Because I’m a genius, best scientist in the world.”
“Say that all you want… You’re just a student… Crap! Let’s run, someone triggered the ice trap I put by the entrance! It must be the warehouse guard!” “What? Isn’t today the open house? Shouldn’t that guy be having a blast at the idol performance?”
Westminster was shoved forward by me, his shock not impeding his complaints.
“Who knows, let’s get out first!”
“Party pooper… I’ve already come up with the next experiment too… Coney, I’ll definitely become a professor here in the future and build my very own lab here! Nobody will disturb me then!”
“Alright alright, you’ll definitely get it! As long as you don’t get caught sneaking into a warehouse and kicked out of school today!”
I collected the moisture in the air to form a snowflake, making our escape on it through the skylight as always. The sparrows sleeping on a cedar tree outside were startled awake and jostled about with chirps and screeches, followed by the angered complaints of the tardy security guard.
Westminster and I shared a smile. --This was the most interesting experience I had at the magic academy.
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II. Life Creation
To me, I was quite lucky. Because the first person to summon me was an interesting guy.
He was Westminster, and he often proclaimed himself the “number one science prodigy” to me. Though in reality, this was just something he said.
In the Academy, Westminster wasn’t on particularly good terms with the other students. He said that prodigies have always been alone since time immemorial as nobody understood them, so he didn’t bother with the common folk.
That was why, even though it was the celebrated open house when all the students were having fun with their families, friends and other visitors, I was the only one by his side.
“Hey, Westminster, since we can’t continue the experiments, where should we go?” “Where do you want to go?” “Hmm… We could take a look at the fallen angel weapons display? Or the master attendant appliances display?” “Those are all plagiarized off my work, what’s there to see?” “Then… the puppet show?” “That time would be better spent researching how to make puppets move by themselves.” “...Then what do you want?” “It’s getting late, let’s go back to the dorms.” “...Hey! Westminster!” “What?”
I turned around somewhat angrily to see him innocently grinning at me. We were flying above the school, wind whooshing past our faces.
“It’s my birthday!” “What did you say, the wind’s too loud!”
He played dumb, and I got ready to shake the snowflake under us--
“Hey hey hey, alright alright, I heard it!” He laughed out loud. “I remember! How could I forget your birthday? I’m going back to the dorms to get the tent and warm clothes I prepared--”
Like a conductor, he pointed elegantly towards the snowy peaks looming over the academy grounds.
“Then we’ll go there, how about it? We’ll get to see lots of stars.” “Woah! Let’s go!”
This was why I was happy to be with him; he made every new day unlike any that came before.
My birthday’s easy to remember, it’s the annual Academy open house.
It’s been so many years.
Back then, Westminster wasn’t so arrogant as to go against the proceedings. He, like the other students, was assigned a task-- To create something new that will be on display in the exhibition, that will be promoted and advertised to visitors from around the world.
Teachers and students alike were worried over what sort of “hazard” Westminster would create, but he went against his usual antics.
He didn’t create anything like the music box that could wake a dormant fallen angel, nor the perfume that could revert a food soul into an uncontrollable younger form.
Using cream made from a base of water from the Lake of Ice Tears, he created ice cream that wouldn’t melt. He then baked a thin omelet till it was hard and crispy, which he placed the ice cream into-- --That’s right, that’s the food I’m based on: the soft serve cone.
The day of the open house, the soft serve cone that was very convenient and didn’t create waste was well received and praised by the guests. Westminster managed to sell cart after cart of it.
Unable to keep up with its popularity with the visitors, Westminster received a permit from the Academy for large-scale extraction of water from the Lake of Ice Tears. He then extracted and collected the inedible magic crystal components of the water in secret.
The last day of the open house, Westminster somehow sneaked into the vault of the old enchantment furnace behind the main hall, and using ice cream infused with magic crystal energies, he summoned me.
“Hey, Little Cone. I’m Westminster. Welcome to the world of Tierra.”
He stood before me, face covered with machine oil, yet his eyes shone bright.
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III. Remember the Stars
Atop the snowy peaks.
I sat in the tent with Westminster, stars circling the sky above us, and I saw in them his eyes when we first met. I never could find an apt comparison, but it suddenly came to me that night, under the stars.
“Are these stars your birthday gift to me?” “Stars are the universe’s reply to stargazers. And you, are the universe’s reply to me.”
I blushed.
“Sounds nice and all, but if you can’t take it, you can’t keep it.”
Westminster opened his eyes and reached out his right hand, grabbing nothing but air.
“We’ll come more in the future, you’ll remember them after looking at them more.” “There are so many stars, there’s no way I can remember them all.” “How will you know if you don’t try?”
Some things are only proven to be impossible when you try.
“Westminster, are we going to the mountains tonight?” “Not tonight, there’s an assignment I have to do.”
“Westminster, can we go stargazing? Even the school observatory is fine.” “Sorry, I have to record experiment data tonight… I might have to stay in the warehouse late into the night.”
… Slowly, I understood-- Change is the law of the universe, people and stars both change, new interests, new goals, new lights at the end of the tunnel. Nothing stayed the same forever.
Not excluding Westminster and me.
Not long after the trip to the snowy peaks, one day, Westminster and I sneaked into the warehouse through the skylight again. This was our secret base; besides having to avoid the security guard and covering up our traces as those of stray cats and birds, many successful experiments went on here.
But this time, we had an unexpected encounter. He seemed to be a teacher or a higher member of the Academy staff.
“Crap, what if he’s forced to drop out…”
As Westminster was taken away, I had uneasy thoughts. If Westminster had to quit, would I have to as well? Would the outside world be more interesting than here?
But I was wrong. After a long chat with the person, Westminster returned with the happiest expression he’s ever had.
“Haha, didn’t I tell you, I’m a genius!” He showed me the key in his hand. “Coney, I’ve got my own lab from now on!”
Seeing him so ecstatic, I felt oddly worried.
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IV. Promise of Reunion
From then on, it was as if Westminster became a different person. He was very, very busy, often falling asleep in the warehouse, going days and nights without food or water, mumbling to himself in front of various strange devices and data.
“Empty shell, empty shell.” Often did I find him chanting to himself repeatedly.
Westminster told me that the mysterious man offered him limitless riches and power for him to research the creation of food souls and life itself. And empty shells were what he couldn’t wrap his head around.
Westminster always said that empty shells were food souls with practically no soul power, and their existence proved that food souls were more than soul-powered weapons created by humans, that food souls were preexisting beings. Then, what power does the human’s imagination hold that is able to summon us unknown life-forms? As he got more and more engrossed in the topic, he said that behind all of this hid the secrets and origins of the world and soul power.
In the beginning, I was still able to understand what he was talking about. Later on, the lab’s security got tighter and tighter. Finally, one day, as I was flying in through the skylight, I was blocked by a strange, invisible barrier.
That day, only when it turned to night did Westminster trudge out of the warehouse, exhausted. His eyes were bloodshot, his unshaven face making him seem decades older. It was as if the warehouse was a man-eating demon, having consumed all of his life force. He faced me, an apologetic look in his eyes.
“Sorry, Coney, my experiments are dangerous, so I can’t let you into the lab from now on.” “I wasn’t coming to disturb you, I just…”
I lowered my head, doing my best to hold in the sadness-- I just wanted to tell you, it was the day of the open house. Have you forgotten my birthday too?
I didn’t want to cry. I’ve never cried. The ice from the Lake of Ice Tears will never melt, and having inherited its properties, how could I ever cry?
“Coney…”
Suddenly, my hand was grasped.
“Come with me.”
I followed Westminster dazedly. We didn’t follow the usual path, instead, he brought me into the majestic main hall and after making a few turns, we somehow came to a secret passageway.
“In here, we won’t be found by anyone. Shh, don’t tell anyone either.”
He brought me into the warehouse.
It was completely different from when I was created; filled with strange, rotating devices, it had become a real lab.
Still holding my hand, Westminster led me into the depths of the lab and handed me something that looked like a telescope.
“Look.” “At what? The kaleidoscope?” “Even better”
Withholding my disbelief, I looked into the telescope. --To see a skyline out of this world, with the brightest stars I’ve seen.
It was the same sky we saw that night on the snowy peaks, stars in neverending rotation; there were two particularly eye-catching ones, swimming in irregular orbits.
“Happy birthday.”
I heard Westminster’s voice. Averting my sight, I saw his forced smile, an uneasy premonition settling over me.
“See those two stars?”
Westminster patted my head, the coarseness of his hand unfitting of a young man.
“I might have to leave this place.” “Remember, when those two stars come together… I’ll be back.”
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V. Soft Serve Cone
Nevras is home to the best academy of all of Tierra, the Academy of Magic.
It is the genius’ cradle, one of whom being Soft Serve Cone’s master attendant.
He was the youngest professor in the academy and had his own laboratory, and with the support of a mysterious investor, he researched food souls in utmost secrecy.
Due to the high security of the research, for a long time, Soft Serve Cone was separated from her master attendant and was unable to see him.
Later, for the next stage of his research, Westminster left the academy for a long-term study, declining Soft Serve Cone’s request to go with him.
And so, Soft Serve Cone stayed behind at the academy, and entrusted by Westminster and his investor, she lived fruitfully and was allowed to take part in the various classes the academy offered.
Like a human student, she studied everything she found interesting.
Time flew by, until that year, that open house.
A bored Soft Serve Cone picked up the kaleidoscope on a whim, to see the two stars suddenly come together. Her heart beat fast as she dashed to the warehouse-turned-secret-lab.
Passing through the secret passageway, opening the door, she saw the absent professor.
“Is that… you?”
Soft Serve Cone hesitated. The figure of the person before her had changed far too much.
“Long time no see, Little Cone. Now… will you create a new world with me?”
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TL Notes
EVERY SINGLE TIME! Every single backstory’s chapter 4 just gets me soft and kinda wanna cry! Every single time! How does funtoy keep doing this!
This one was kinda very a little bit self indulgent.......... stars.......... kaleidoscopes............. deep lore............. westminster............. the academy.............. cute gorl............ its got it all.....................
The significance of the kaleidoscope: 
Soft Serve Cone in Chinese is 冰淇淋花筒 (bing qi lin hua tong, lit. ice cream flower cone, where the last 2 characters mean “flower cone”). 
Kaleidoscope is 万花筒 (wan hua tong, lit. million flower cone), feelssoftman
“The figure of the person before her had changed far too much.” haha funney joaks hahah
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lil coney here better not be lookin at this and thinking “omg westy is that u??????” unless he already looked like this as a human in which case WHAT THE FUCK
anyway. this entire story is a lot of feelssoftman. see ya im off to make a kaleidoscope and cry a little from the softness
also if u were wondering yes the original does swap between kaleidoscope and telescope like that one katy perry song
77 notes · View notes
chocolate-brownies · 6 years
Text
My Other Yoga: The Class by Taryn Toomey
My Other Yoga: The Class by Taryn Toomey:
For one yoga teacher, trying something that felt like the complete opposite of her alignment-focused asana style turned out to transform her yoga practice—and her life.
The electricity I felt running through my body at the end of the second song let me know that I had made the right choice in coming to this class.
I had resisted trying The Class by Taryn Toomey based on the reviews I’d read: A “cathartic fitness class” that creates a “visceral experience” and “moves you emotionally.” People also talked about it being “incredibly healing.”
With a history of trauma that I have steadily worked to overcome for 20-plus years, I was intimidated to say the least.
See also 7 Poses to Release Trauma in the Body
Then one morning, I woke up with a sense that I needed to try The Class by TT. In fact, it felt urgent. So, when I checked the Los Angeles schedule and saw that there was a class in Hollywood, I made the hour-long trek from my home in Santa Monica to the Wanderlust yoga studio, where I was greeted by founding teacher, Natalie Kuhn.
I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was nervous—and a little afraid. Not for the fitness part; I have been an athlete all my life and I’m a yoga teacher, too. I know how to align and take care of my body. I was nervous for the other bit. The cathartic, visceral, emotional bit.
The Moment That Inspired Me to Go to The Class by Taryn Toomey
I am a mother of three, and my middle child suffers from multiple sensory processing and integration disorders. When information goes into her brain, it often gets lost or confused. Understandably, that’s disheartening and frustrating for her—and the result is explosive rages, which can go on for hours on end. Over the last five years that this has been happening, her outbursts have escalated despite my husband and I seeking answers and help from countless practitioners.
Just a couple days before I tried The Class by TT, one of my daughter’s doctors asked if we could video one of her “tantrums.” In my experience of these episodes, I am always 100 percent present with her. I say the right things; I connect with her; I do everything I can to meet her needs. But when I watched the video my husband recorded for the doctor, I noticed that I wasn’t there with her at all. In fact, I was disassociated—a skill I had learned in my trauma-filled youth.
When things got loud and violent in my childhood home, I would leave my body. And when I watched that video, I realized I was doing the same thing with my 7-year-old. In that moment, I realized I needed to learn how to stay in my body, so I could stay present with my daughter and truly connect with her when she needs me most. I needed to learn how to stay in it with her when I wanted it all to end, or I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
Karly Treacy with her family.
How The Class By TT Taught Me True Embodiment
Natalie began class by letting us know that we were going to be uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. But she explained the difference between injurious discomfort—the kind that’ll get you injured—and the discomfort that’s the result of your brain saying, This is hard, and here is how to make it stop. (That’s the kind of discomfort that makes you stop the jumping jack, put your leg down, rest before the exercise is over, you get the gist.)
During that first song of class, we performed an excruciating number of squats and squat jumps. Immediately, my inner dialogue kicked in. Oh, I did not have enough coffee for this. Further into that first song, as it continued far longer than I wanted it to, I began to panic—to doubt my strength, my health, and my abilities. Natalie cued us to drop the panic talk (it was like she was totally in my head) and to drop into our breath.
Connecting to my breath was familiar to me thanks to my yoga practice. That I could do. When the second song began, and we were gracefully pushed into endless jumping jacks, that same panic started to creep in again. This time, Natalie asked us “to start to notice the feelings that come up the moment things get really challenging.” In that moment, I realized that in my mind, I was in the parking lot, in my car, about to drive home. I was doing the exact thing I needed to not be doing. Worse, I was mentally leaving my body and not feeling anything at all. I knew in that moment that this was the exact work I needed. And by the end of the second song, I felt like a beautiful blend of exhilaration, peace, surrender, and release. My soul was singing.
That first class was a little over a year ago, and I have continued to practice this practice. For me, this work has been a profound awakening of self. I have confronted and healed more demons in the depths of my humanity in this past year than I’d done in more than 20 years of therapy.
I’ve been a student of yoga for more than 25 years, and my yoga practice has given me the gift of knowing how to stay present on my mat. I’ve always studied with alignment-focused teachers, such as Annie Carpenter and Natasha Rizopoulos. And there is absolutely a place for this. Yet what I’m learning in The Class by TT is that in spending all of those years solely focused on alignment cues on my yoga mat, I was actually distracting myself from really feeling.
See also 7 Myths About Yoga Alignment
In The Class by TT, with my heart racing, sweat pouring off every inch of my body, breath compromised, and everything in me screaming GET OUT OF HERE, I have learned how to stay in my body, and how to quiet the negative thought patterns that challenge my abilities to really be in it—whether it’s a series of exercises or the heartache that accompanies watching my daughter rage that’s pushing me to the max.
The beauty of impermanence is that nothing lasts forever. This practice has helped me see that there is powerful medicine in staying present with the good, the bad, and the indifferent. And when I show up—really show up—I can soak up the lessons my body and soul are trying to teach me so that I can life this beautiful life more fully.
0 notes
cedarrrun · 6 years
Link
For one yoga teacher, trying something that felt like the complete opposite of her alignment-focused asana style turned out to transform her yoga practice—and her life.
The electricity I felt running through my body at the end of the second song let me know that I had made the right choice in coming to this class.
I had resisted trying The Class by Taryn Toomey based on the reviews I’d read: A “cathartic fitness class” that creates a “visceral experience” and “moves you emotionally.” People also talked about it being “incredibly healing.”
With a history of trauma that I have steadily worked to overcome for 20-plus years, I was intimidated to say the least.
See also 7 Poses to Release Trauma in the Body
Then one morning, I woke up with a sense that I needed to try The Class by TT. In fact, it felt urgent. So, when I checked the Los Angeles schedule and saw that there was a class in Hollywood, I made the hour-long trek from my home in Santa Monica to the Wanderlust yoga studio, where I was greeted by founding teacher, Natalie Kuhn.
I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was nervous—and a little afraid. Not for the fitness part; I have been an athlete all my life and I’m a yoga teacher, too. I know how to align and take care of my body. I was nervous for the other bit. The cathartic, visceral, emotional bit.
The Moment That Inspired Me to Go to The Class by Taryn Toomey
I am a mother of three, and my middle child suffers from multiple sensory processing and integration disorders. When information goes into her brain, it often gets lost or confused. Understandably, that’s disheartening and frustrating for her—and the result is explosive rages, which can go on for hours on end. Over the last five years that this has been happening, her outbursts have escalated despite my husband and I seeking answers and help from countless practitioners.
Just a couple days before I tried The Class by TT, one of my daughter’s doctors asked if we could video one of her “tantrums.” In my experience of these episodes, I am always 100 percent present with her. I say the right things; I connect with her; I do everything I can to meet her needs. But when I watched the video my husband recorded for the doctor, I noticed that I wasn’t there with her at all. In fact, I was disassociated—a skill I had learned in my trauma-filled youth.
When things got loud and violent in my childhood home, I would leave my body. And when I watched that video, I realized I was doing the same thing with my 7-year-old. In that moment, I realized I needed to learn how to stay in my body, so I could stay present with my daughter and truly connect with her when she needs me most. I needed to learn how to stay in it with her when I wanted it all to end, or I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
Karly Treacy with her family.
How The Class By TT Taught Me True Embodiment
Natalie began class by letting us know that we were going to be uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. But she explained the difference between injurious discomfort—the kind that’ll get you injured—and the discomfort that’s the result of your brain saying, This is hard, and here is how to make it stop. (That’s the kind of discomfort that makes you stop the jumping jack, put your leg down, rest before the exercise is over, you get the gist.)
During that first song of class, we performed an excruciating number of squats and squat jumps. Immediately, my inner dialogue kicked in. Oh, I did not have enough coffee for this. Further into that first song, as it continued far longer than I wanted it to, I began to panic—to doubt my strength, my health, and my abilities. Natalie cued us to drop the panic talk (it was like she was totally in my head) and to drop into our breath.
Connecting to my breath was familiar to me thanks to my yoga practice. That I could do. When the second song began, and we were gracefully pushed into endless jumping jacks, that same panic started to creep in again. This time, Natalie asked us “to start to notice the feelings that come up the moment things get really challenging.” In that moment, I realized that in my mind, I was in the parking lot, in my car, about to drive home. I was doing the exact thing I needed to not be doing. Worse, I was mentally leaving my body and not feeling anything at all. I knew in that moment that this was the exact work I needed. And by the end of the second song, I felt like a beautiful blend of exhilaration, peace, surrender, and release. My soul was singing.
That first class was a little over a year ago, and I have continued to practice this practice. For me, this work has been a profound awakening of self. I have confronted and healed more demons in the depths of my humanity in this past year than I’d done in more than 20 years of therapy.
I’ve been a student of yoga for more than 25 years, and my yoga practice has given me the gift of knowing how to stay present on my mat. I’ve always studied with alignment-focused teachers, such as Annie Carpenter and Natasha Rizopoulos. And there is absolutely a place for this. Yet what I’m learning in The Class by TT is that in spending all of those years solely focused on alignment cues on my yoga mat, I was actually distracting myself from really feeling.
See also 7 Myths About Yoga Alignment
In The Class by TT, with my heart racing, sweat pouring off every inch of my body, breath compromised, and everything in me screaming GET OUT OF HERE, I have learned how to stay in my body, and how to quiet the negative thought patterns that challenge my abilities to really be in it—whether it’s a series of exercises or the heartache that accompanies watching my daughter rage that's pushing me to the max.
The beauty of impermanence is that nothing lasts forever. This practice has helped me see that there is powerful medicine in staying present with the good, the bad, and the indifferent. And when I show up—really show up—I can soak up the lessons my body and soul are trying to teach me so that I can life this beautiful life more fully.
0 notes
remedialmassage · 6 years
Text
My Other Yoga: The Class by Taryn Toomey
For one yoga teacher, trying something that felt like the complete opposite of her alignment-focused asana style turned out to transform her yoga practice—and her life.
The electricity I felt running through my body at the end of the second song let me know that I had made the right choice in coming to this class.
I had resisted trying The Class by Taryn Toomey based on the reviews I’d read: A “cathartic fitness class” that creates a “visceral experience” and “moves you emotionally.” People also talked about it being “incredibly healing.”
With a history of trauma that I have steadily worked to overcome for 20-plus years, I was intimidated to say the least.
See also 7 Poses to Release Trauma in the Body
Then one morning, I woke up with a sense that I needed to try The Class by TT. In fact, it felt urgent. So, when I checked the Los Angeles schedule and saw that there was a class in Hollywood, I made the hour-long trek from my home in Santa Monica to the Wanderlust yoga studio, where I was greeted by founding teacher, Natalie Kuhn.
I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was nervous—and a little afraid. Not for the fitness part; I have been an athlete all my life and I’m a yoga teacher, too. I know how to align and take care of my body. I was nervous for the other bit. The cathartic, visceral, emotional bit.
The Moment That Inspired Me to Go to The Class by Taryn Toomey
I am a mother of three, and my middle child suffers from multiple sensory processing and integration disorders. When information goes into her brain, it often gets lost or confused. Understandably, that’s disheartening and frustrating for her—and the result is explosive rages, which can go on for hours on end. Over the last five years that this has been happening, her outbursts have escalated despite my husband and I seeking answers and help from countless practitioners.
Just a couple days before I tried The Class by TT, one of my daughter’s doctors asked if we could video one of her “tantrums.” In my experience of these episodes, I am always 100 percent present with her. I say the right things; I connect with her; I do everything I can to meet her needs. But when I watched the video my husband recorded for the doctor, I noticed that I wasn’t there with her at all. In fact, I was disassociated—a skill I had learned in my trauma-filled youth.
When things got loud and violent in my childhood home, I would leave my body. And when I watched that video, I realized I was doing the same thing with my 7-year-old. In that moment, I realized I needed to learn how to stay in my body, so I could stay present with my daughter and truly connect with her when she needs me most. I needed to learn how to stay in it with her when I wanted it all to end, or I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
Karly Treacy with her family.
How The Class By TT Taught Me True Embodiment
Natalie began class by letting us know that we were going to be uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. But she explained the difference between injurious discomfort—the kind that’ll get you injured—and the discomfort that’s the result of your brain saying, This is hard, and here is how to make it stop. (That’s the kind of discomfort that makes you stop the jumping jack, put your leg down, rest before the exercise is over, you get the gist.)
During that first song of class, we performed an excruciating number of squats and squat jumps. Immediately, my inner dialogue kicked in. Oh, I did not have enough coffee for this. Further into that first song, as it continued far longer than I wanted it to, I began to panic—to doubt my strength, my health, and my abilities. Natalie cued us to drop the panic talk (it was like she was totally in my head) and to drop into our breath.
Connecting to my breath was familiar to me thanks to my yoga practice. That I could do. When the second song began, and we were gracefully pushed into endless jumping jacks, that same panic started to creep in again. This time, Natalie asked us “to start to notice the feelings that come up the moment things get really challenging.” In that moment, I realized that in my mind, I was in the parking lot, in my car, about to drive home. I was doing the exact thing I needed to not be doing. Worse, I was mentally leaving my body and not feeling anything at all. I knew in that moment that this was the exact work I needed. And by the end of the second song, I felt like a beautiful blend of exhilaration, peace, surrender, and release. My soul was singing.
That first class was a little over a year ago, and I have continued to practice this practice. For me, this work has been a profound awakening of self. I have confronted and healed more demons in the depths of my humanity in this past year than I’d done in more than 20 years of therapy.
I’ve been a student of yoga for more than 25 years, and my yoga practice has given me the gift of knowing how to stay present on my mat. I’ve always studied with alignment-focused teachers, such as Annie Carpenter and Natasha Rizopoulos. And there is absolutely a place for this. Yet what I’m learning in The Class by TT is that in spending all of those years solely focused on alignment cues on my yoga mat, I was actually distracting myself from really feeling.
See also 7 Myths About Yoga Alignment
In The Class by TT, with my heart racing, sweat pouring off every inch of my body, breath compromised, and everything in me screaming GET OUT OF HERE, I have learned how to stay in my body, and how to quiet the negative thought patterns that challenge my abilities to really be in it—whether it’s a series of exercises or the heartache that accompanies watching my daughter rage that's pushing me to the max.
The beauty of impermanence is that nothing lasts forever. This practice has helped me see that there is powerful medicine in staying present with the good, the bad, and the indifferent. And when I show up—really show up—I can soak up the lessons my body and soul are trying to teach me so that I can life this beautiful life more fully.
from Yoga Journal https://ift.tt/2N2hqJm
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amyddaniels · 6 years
Text
My Other Yoga: The Class by Taryn Toomey
For one yoga teacher, trying something that felt like the complete opposite of her alignment-focused asana style turned out to transform her yoga practice—and her life.
The electricity I felt running through my body at the end of the second song let me know that I had made the right choice in coming to this class.
I had resisted trying The Class by Taryn Toomey based on the reviews I’d read: A “cathartic fitness class” that creates a “visceral experience” and “moves you emotionally.” People also talked about it being “incredibly healing.”
With a history of trauma that I have steadily worked to overcome for 20-plus years, I was intimidated to say the least.
See also 7 Poses to Release Trauma in the Body
Then one morning, I woke up with a sense that I needed to try The Class by TT. In fact, it felt urgent. So, when I checked the Los Angeles schedule and saw that there was a class in Hollywood, I made the hour-long trek from my home in Santa Monica to the Wanderlust yoga studio, where I was greeted by founding teacher, Natalie Kuhn.
I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was nervous—and a little afraid. Not for the fitness part; I have been an athlete all my life and I’m a yoga teacher, too. I know how to align and take care of my body. I was nervous for the other bit. The cathartic, visceral, emotional bit.
The Moment That Inspired Me to Go to The Class by Taryn Toomey
I am a mother of three, and my middle child suffers from multiple sensory processing and integration disorders. When information goes into her brain, it often gets lost or confused. Understandably, that’s disheartening and frustrating for her—and the result is explosive rages, which can go on for hours on end. Over the last five years that this has been happening, her outbursts have escalated despite my husband and I seeking answers and help from countless practitioners.
Just a couple days before I tried The Class by TT, one of my daughter’s doctors asked if we could video one of her “tantrums.” In my experience of these episodes, I am always 100 percent present with her. I say the right things; I connect with her; I do everything I can to meet her needs. But when I watched the video my husband recorded for the doctor, I noticed that I wasn’t there with her at all. In fact, I was disassociated—a skill I had learned in my trauma-filled youth.
When things got loud and violent in my childhood home, I would leave my body. And when I watched that video, I realized I was doing the same thing with my 7-year-old. In that moment, I realized I needed to learn how to stay in my body, so I could stay present with my daughter and truly connect with her when she needs me most. I needed to learn how to stay in it with her when I wanted it all to end, or I just wanted to get the hell out of there.
Karly Treacy with her family.
How The Class By TT Taught Me True Embodiment
Natalie began class by letting us know that we were going to be uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. But she explained the difference between injurious discomfort—the kind that’ll get you injured—and the discomfort that’s the result of your brain saying, This is hard, and here is how to make it stop. (That’s the kind of discomfort that makes you stop the jumping jack, put your leg down, rest before the exercise is over, you get the gist.)
During that first song of class, we performed an excruciating number of squats and squat jumps. Immediately, my inner dialogue kicked in. Oh, I did not have enough coffee for this. Further into that first song, as it continued far longer than I wanted it to, I began to panic—to doubt my strength, my health, and my abilities. Natalie cued us to drop the panic talk (it was like she was totally in my head) and to drop into our breath.
Connecting to my breath was familiar to me thanks to my yoga practice. That I could do. When the second song began, and we were gracefully pushed into endless jumping jacks, that same panic started to creep in again. This time, Natalie asked us “to start to notice the feelings that come up the moment things get really challenging.” In that moment, I realized that in my mind, I was in the parking lot, in my car, about to drive home. I was doing the exact thing I needed to not be doing. Worse, I was mentally leaving my body and not feeling anything at all. I knew in that moment that this was the exact work I needed. And by the end of the second song, I felt like a beautiful blend of exhilaration, peace, surrender, and release. My soul was singing.
That first class was a little over a year ago, and I have continued to practice this practice. For me, this work has been a profound awakening of self. I have confronted and healed more demons in the depths of my humanity in this past year than I’d done in more than 20 years of therapy.
I’ve been a student of yoga for more than 25 years, and my yoga practice has given me the gift of knowing how to stay present on my mat. I’ve always studied with alignment-focused teachers, such as Annie Carpenter and Natasha Rizopoulos. And there is absolutely a place for this. Yet what I’m learning in The Class by TT is that in spending all of those years solely focused on alignment cues on my yoga mat, I was actually distracting myself from really feeling.
See also 7 Myths About Yoga Alignment
In The Class by TT, with my heart racing, sweat pouring off every inch of my body, breath compromised, and everything in me screaming GET OUT OF HERE, I have learned how to stay in my body, and how to quiet the negative thought patterns that challenge my abilities to really be in it—whether it’s a series of exercises or the heartache that accompanies watching my daughter rage that's pushing me to the max.
The beauty of impermanence is that nothing lasts forever. This practice has helped me see that there is powerful medicine in staying present with the good, the bad, and the indifferent. And when I show up—really show up—I can soak up the lessons my body and soul are trying to teach me so that I can life this beautiful life more fully.
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