#want to kill myself everyt ime they do that

[hiidkwhatimdoing7525]

abe

anna

stop kissing

stop fucking

please😭😭😭

[ooglywooglies]

i have to make a separate post because the tags were getting too long

but yes all my vampire characters are thin, i even struggle to justify to myself xanthes huge bazoongas because in the lore nyesaya cant justify having a lot of fat on their body because of how infrequently they eat. i had to do a bunch of lizard and deer blood math to come up with a somewhat reasonable metabolism to keep them from having to kill too often.

there are not many vampires running around in universe because theyre fairly weak and its 100% legal to kill them basically at any time for any reason by exploiting a revenge law that exists in order to justify another law that allows vampires to kill and eat 1 human every month or so (im stuck between 1 and 3 months because 3 is really stretching that metabolism problem thin but 1 still feels way too frequent for what a law would allow) they can only do it past 10 pm and when they kill someone they have to report it so it can go on a publicly available list so their loved ones can know who did it. you dont have to verify a relationship to a person on this list to kill a vampire, you just have to be able to name someone on the list when you do, probably, i havent really thought of a consequence for not doing that, there probably arent even any consequences.

(wow alex do you have much of a bias here - LOOK IM TRYING TO MAKE IT BALANCED, OF COURSE HUMANS WOULD SYSTEMICALLY OPPRESS VAMPIRES - i always get nervous people are gonna be like hey this feels similar to real life oppression are you trying to say vampires in your universe are analogous to human minorities in real life? and i mean, i get why youd say that, real life human minorities are oppressed because the majority thinks of them as a threat, vampires are oppressed because THEY ARE a threat. i dont think that means im SAYING human minorities are a threat. i just kind of wanted to draw the logical conclusion of what would happen if a sentient creature like this lived in a world like ours. human minorities still exist in my universe and are still oppressed, theyre probably even compared to vampires IN UNIVERSE. and its like, yeah i have sympathy for the vampires a few of them are main characters, i talk about their oppression more than the real life human minority group characters because idk, im a real life human minority myself and i sort of find my own oppression tiresome and uninteresting at this point. at least in the context of my fantasy story. maybe its comforting to me to explore this through the lens of a fictional alien species, my point is please dont take this in bad faith please i promise i think about the implications and i promise thats not where im going with this im just autistic about biology and politics and magical realism.)

anyway in order to not HAVE to eat super often ive been working on developing ways to slow down their metabolism. its not completely perfect and ive had to throw in some "fine whatever its magic" to cover the cracks but i initially based their metabolism on komodo dragons since theyre a similar size. thats where the lizard and deer blood math comes in, deer i think have a similar amount of blood to humans it was like 10 pints or something. this was so long ago ive lost all my sources, and so if a komodo dragon is good off of like an entire deer for like a month, thats where i got that estimate from. so they have some reptile-like traits like, they dont regulate their own body heat, for the most part. they sleep a LOT like 20 hours a day most of the time, they get tired really really easily, and they brumate in the winter

im not sure if brumate is the right word, thats the reptile word for hibernate but theyre not reptiles, theyre not mammals either

they were sort of just sprung into existence by a human hating food chain based goddess so you cant really classify them taxonomically. its one of those situations that sort of frustrates me because yeah magic does exist in this universe and you cant explain everything in a grounded way

sidebar the magic is very magic and not logic but one thing i like about it is its basically an invisible gas (its also a form of life but thats not really important) so the way its "wielded" is you can basically just form a connection between yourself and anyone else via the invisible magic gas thats constantly touching everyone. telepathy is something that happens a lot in universe especially with vampires because its how they conduct their religion and its like certain beings can just beam sounds and images directly into your brain, especially while you sleep via the connection of these magic particles

preddy cool

[bluebeetle]

like im literally crying rn the last few weeks have been terrible and now i cant evne fucking have music at work anymore!! the one fucking joy!!! i can use the app but again my premium runs out this month and i rly dont ahve the money to keep paying which is why i used the browser bc ad block!! and i cant even use youtube, at least not today, bc they put us in restricticed mode on our phones during break so i cant even fucking SEE most of the music id want to listen to. im literally going to kill myself i cant have fucking ANYTHING. it worked fine yesterday but todya it just doesnt play and i cleared cookies and cache and tried ohter broswers and turned off the computer and everyting. nothing. and everywhere i say says its prolly blocked so fucking thanks!!!!! why do i even fucking bother i hope a car hits me on the way home i cant ufcking do this any,ore

[vemuabhi]

One Piece Boys Valentines Special!

Soulmate + One Piece AU where whatever happens to your soulmate will appear on your wrist.

Pairing : One Piece Boys X GN! Reader

Happy Valentines Day Everyone!

A/N : I was listening to I need you by BTS (Clickable). It gives the love vibes. Do listen to it if you want to! You wont regret it. the feels are just everyting!

Note: in this Story it can be with any one piece boy you wish for. It can be Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ussop, Law, Sabo, Ace, Killer, Kidd, anyone you admire. anyone you like. for some charecters it maybe OOc but, I tried to make it as close to them as possible. It will be in his POV

“This is in His POV”

As the sun rays hit my eyes, I slowly open my eyes. I grunt as I rolled to the other side of the bed. I took a deep breath and as the usual morning routine I bring my wrist close to my eyes and see what is going to happen to my soulmate today. It said, “Falls down while taking a walk and takes the attention of the complete crowd”.

Most of the times it is small normal everyday life stuff. Once it was, “Studying for Test all night”, for which I felt Super proud and other time it was “Crying because messed the exam”, on that day I was also sad because they were crying and did hard work. Once it was “being called names” and other time was, “Moving away from that place”. Not gonna lie, I was furious because they had to go through bullying.

Most of my mood depends on how my soulmate is doing that day. If I see that they are happy and cosy, I feel happy. If they are sad because of someone, I get super angry. If they are depressed, I feel sad. But yes… I fell in love with them without even noticing. I know neither their name nor face. But I do know one thing for sure. I got one hell of a person. They are amazing and I’d love them no matter what. I’m pretty sure they also like me. Because sometimes I read that they were depressed and crying because of the injuries and problems I was having. Well they could also read what was happening to me because it’s how the world is. In those times I do feel relieved and happy because they do care about me and my heart fills with that fuzzy feeling.

I let out a chuckle as I read todays happening. I know it’s wrong to laugh when someone falls down but… I couldn’t help it. “So adorable”, I say to myself as I looked at my wrist and kiss the sentence. Then I lazily woke up from the bed and continued my routine for the day.

After lunch my buddy asked me, “Man… you sure are smiling today. Something happened?” I nodded and said, “It’s just that my soulmate will be super embarrassed today, so I can’t help but laugh”. He chuckled and we talk about the upcoming works to do. That night I go to my bed and plop myself on it. I think about how my soulmate is as I smile and sleep.

The next day I see that, “Getting a crush on the new boy next door”…. ‘Wait what? Did I read it correctly?’ I thought to myself as I reread the sentence for at least 10 times. ‘Oh lord… Imma kill that jerk’, I say to myself.

I know that crushes don’t last long and yeah I know that my soulmate loves me but…. what the hell?! I can’t allow that! “IF I SEE THAT JERK IMMA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM”, I scream out loud making the people around me give me the weird look. I am so much pissed today that even the smallest things are pissing me off… ‘Is he that handsome?’, I thought to myself as I run my fingers through my hair. ‘Oh lord this jealousy doesn’t suit me. I hate this feeing’, I thought as I continued being moody for the rest of the day. I couldn’t sleep properly that night so I just stare at the night sky and keep thinking about them as I pout. I look at my wrist and whisper, “I am the only one for you. Get it to your head you idiot”.

I kept looking at my wrist and then I feel a slight sting on my wrist and I continued looking at it. Then I see that a new sentence was being formed. I have seen it many times but every time this happens it makes me so excited like a small baby. It is so magical. I read the new sentence on the wrist and blush hard. ‘Damn it’, I think to myself as I cover my face with my hand. I then again open my eyes and look at my wrist and read the sentence. ‘Continuing to be super happy because Soulmate is jealous’. I chuckle reading that sentence as my cheeks still remained pink. ‘So happy that Im jealous huh.. you little... tsk... still cute though.... Well at least now I know that you are smiling because of me’. I say and plop onto my sheets and close my eyes with a smile still lingering on my face.

After some days of normal peaceful happy days, with me and my soulmate being cheerful, I go to a new island with my buddies. It was a bright beautiful day. We explore the island, eat food and drink alcohol. Just like that the day was close to over and I was alone, walking in a park with the night sky beautifully lit with stars. Then I felt a slight sting on my wrist. I look at it waiting for the words to appear. Then, I see the words that I never expected but was waiting for the most to show up on my skin. I almost forget to breathe when I look at those words. My eyes wide open and heart beating faster than ever.

‘Meeting Soulmate’, was written on it. My eyes couldn’t believe what they were seeing. I take deep breaths and sit on the bench beside me. I was speechless. I was amazed by this. ‘but.. how am I going to recognise them? how are they going to react when they see me? Would they even like a person like me, who always gets into fights? who has lots of scars.. would they accept me? what if they reject me?’, insecurities build up with in my heart. ‘Or worst… what would happen if we don’t even recognise each other?’, I couldn’t keep my thoughts in control. the only thing Mattered was them. ‘I'll search for you. I'll confess to you. no matter how you look, no matter what your gender or pronouns are, I will try my best to find you’, I say to myself and run around the island. That was a sleepless night. I ran around all the places to find them. Asked many peoples if they were meeting their soulmate that day, but every single time I got the same response.

“No, I’m sorry”, said the person whom I just asked.

‘Where are you?’, I thought and continue to search for them. it was already evening, but I couldn’t find them. The complete day, I didn’t feel like stopping for even a second. But now…. I got to the same park again after running around the island. I had no luck finding them. ‘Where are you?’, I thought as I again sit on the same bench as yesterday… all alone still... ‘Did you see me but didn’t like me? Do you like someone else? If you did I’d know by now… where can I find you? Where are you?’, I placed my hand on my head and my elbow on my knees. ‘Did I not notice you even though we met?’, I thought some of the worst case scenarios as my tears began to fall down my cheek. I couldn’t help but sob silently. I was immersed in my thoughts then I saw a person crouch down before me with a kerchief in their hand. “Sorry to ask this when you are crying but, are you by any chance looking for your soulmate?”, they asked. I.. I was speechless so, I just showed my wrist to them, and they smiled and showed me theirs, it said, ‘Meeting your fated in the park’.

I didn’t know what to say. It was the first time I saw those shiny bright eyes and beautiful face. That was my soulmate. They got up and wiped my tears then, they said, “I’ve been waiting to meet you for a long time.”

That moment, I lost my control. I swiftly got up and pulled them into my arms. I buried my head in the crook of their neck and nodded. I felt their arms wrap around me as they rubbed soothing circles on my back. “I love you”, I confessed as they gasped.

I continued, “I know… I don’t even know your name. But… I love you. I love every single thing about you. Your kindness, your nature, your behaviour. I love how you are passionate about small things. The way you jam to the music everyone thinks is weird. The way you still be strong even after being bullied. I admire them so much. Those little traits of yours are mesmerising.", I stop and snif, then continue, "I never saw the guy who lives next door to you but I hate him with all my heart”. Then for the first time, they let out a very adorable giggle. ‘Oh... music to my ears when you laugh’, I thought.

Then we slowly pull apart. I see that their cheeks are flushed pink which was also too cute. They slowly reach up to my hand and kiss the place where the writing was making me blush. Because.. I do that many times and now, they kisses my wrist. They look into my eyes and said, “I also love you”. this made my heart flutter with happiness.

They sat down on the bench and I too obliged. We talked about all the things that we wanted to talk about and trust me my heart was about to burst when they leaned on my shoulder and continued talking with me. Thank you for being my soulmate, Y/N.

XOXOXOXOXO

I hope you enjoyed it! Happy Valentines Day! Celebrate your valentine's day with One piece boys!

Did you like the story or the song. Tell me how you feel by giving me a Like, Comment and Reblog. Thanks for Reading!

[whataboutsteffanfics]

Trails of fire - Chapter 1

8 years prior

Zendaya and Chris are at the Beach, And are having a walk by the water.

"I'm so happy that we're getting married" she said

"Me too but I want to promise you something'

The stop walking and look each other in the eye.

"I promise to always love you, I promise to always be there for you, I promise to support you and to always make you happy"

"i promise the same thing, I love you"

"I love you too" he screamed, he then picked her up and started to twirl her around

------------------------------------------------------- 8 years prior - wedding day (vows)

"Chris would you like to say your vows" the priest asked

""As we start our married life together today, I make these promises before our families and friends:

I will continually challenge myself to become the best husband I can be; always looking to put you before myself and making your dreams our dreams.

I will love you; I will adore you; I will cherish you; I will be faithful to you.

I will be thoughtful and mindful in the way I act around other people, whether we are together or apart. I will always seek to give you no reason to be jealous over another person. music has always been a big part of our life and You will always be the greatest song I could and would ever sing.

I will trust you in all things, never doubting you, or looking for reassurance of things you have already promised me.

I will help you discover your full potential, pushing you to become the best you can be, to support and ensure your hopes and dreams come to fruition.

I will stand by your side in all things, the highs and the lows, always finding agreement in everything that we do as husband and wife.

I will keep God at the centre of our relationship and love you as Christ loves the Church." Chris said and wiped away her tears

"Zendaya would you like to say your vows?"

""I promise to be your faithful wife. I promise to love you when the sun shines, when the rain falls, in sickness, and in health. When you look at this ring, think of me and remember that I love you always."

"I promise to be the woman that I see now in your eyes, today, tomorrow, and for always."

"What is a wife? I must admit, I'm not sure. All I know is that I am devoted to you completely and am made a better person because of your love. wife then is a thing that a good marriage makes, molds, and creates whole. If that is what a husband/wife means, then I am prepared to be yours."

"I vow to always protect you from harm, to stand with you against your troubles, and look to you when I need protection."

"I take thee to be my wife and promise to look into your eyes just like I do now, with love and soulful amazement. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I promise to try to be worthy of your love in every way, to climb mountains, and swim oceans just to be by your side. I will be honest, caring, patient and forgiving, and I will always be a loyal wife."

"You fill my life with meaning. Thank you for taking me as I am, loving me, and welcoming me into your heart. I promise to always love you, respect you, and to be faithful to you forever."

------------------------------------------------------- present

"Chris you can't just leave like that" she yelled

" Daya i gotta go to this import meeting I will be back in 2 hours"

"no Chris I already told how busy I am gonna be, I literally have to leave in 15 min" she pointed out to him while following him to the door

"can't you call your mom, my mom or one of your sisters to watch the kids" he said while looking for his car keys

"no i cant they were all gonna be busy thats why I ask-"

"I'm sorry Zendaya but I really have to go now" he finally found his key and walked out the door

"arrrghhhh" she yelled angry

"mommy are you okay" het 4 year old asked worried

"mom is fine why don't you go watch tv"

"okay mommy"

Zendaya went to the kitchen and picked up her phone and try to contact her dad but it went straight to voicemail

she didn't have a any other option and called everything off, she then went upstairs to change in her comfy clothes

before going downstairs she came across a picture of their wedding day

"is this really my life right now" she whispered to herself, she shook her head and went to the kitchen to make the kids some lunch

Pov Chris

I just finished my 4 hour meeting and now I got a call that I had to be in the studio to record a song.

"ay Chris good you came man" his producer said

"we gonna record something new?"

"no we gotta change a couple of sounds for this song on your album"

"alright man"

Chris went to the booth and put his headphones one and started to sing

"Whine up pon it to the rhythm (rhythm) Come a little closer, why you distant? (why you distant) All over my body, feel the friction (friction) Yeah, baby, it's me that's in your system (system) Kill it, girl, your body lookin' vicious (vicious) Meditating on you like a scripture (a scripture) Ain't at church but she pull up in them Christians Long time, I go love you like it's vintage

Go forward, go back and forward, oh Enjoy it, just pick your poison, oh, ooh Go slower, go fast, go slower and around and around Go back and forward, ooh Rock your body, your body, your body, ooh Rock your body, your body, your body, ooh (your body, your body, your body) Rock your body, oh gimme what you got, I'm holding on, oh Rock your body every night

Why you always lookin' at the time though? (Time though) Baby, when you dance on me time slows (time slows) Murder everyting at the nitro (nitro) Take you back to my space like a typo (typo) Tell me how to reach like a high note (high note, oh yeah) Skin tight, never need lipo (lipo) I can see us with my eyes closed (eyes closed) Pull it to side like vibo (vibo)

after he sang for a couple of hours he looked at the time and saw it was past 12 pm

"ay man we done? I gotta go home"

"yup we done we got it"

he picked his stuff, said his goodbye to everybody and drove home

--------------------------- its 9 pm now and chris is still not back from his so called meeting. so her cousin came to check on her after work

"you want some wine" Daya asked

"yes please"

she poured the 2 of them some wine and sat down on the coach

"tell me why are you so upset, what wrong with you and Chris" her cousin asked

Daya took a long sip before she answered her question

"it has been a lot, and I don't feel happy right now in my marriage... we have been fighting like crazy, he always at work and comes home late and his excuse is that he was at a meeting. he always leave me with the kids like I had a couple of important meetings today and I had to cancel my whole entire day because he had to leave. so much has been going on I bet he doesn't even realize that I'm not happy."

"wow i didint even know that has been going on, have you tried counseling or just talking it out with each other"

"we don't even talk like that anymore, I don't understand what happened to us, one moment we was happy and the next thing I know all we do is fight" she said as she started to cry

her cousin placed her glass on the table and went to give her a hug

"listen, yall need to talk to each other and tell each other what y'all need and figure out where it went wrong in y'all marriage. you both can't continue to do this to each other and remember they kids need both sets of parent that love each other. do you still love him?"

"I do....without a doubt but he is just not making me happy right now"

"well then focus on the that, that you love him and when you do talk tell him what you need from him and you both should fix whatever is going on in y'all marriage that isn't healthy for you, him and the kids"

"okay i will" she said and took a deep breath

a couple of hours later her cousin left, so she started to clean up a bit so she could go to bed.

while she walked to the steps she saw the piano and decided to play a song that come in to her mind

"Where did we go wrong?

Is it all my fault? Where did we go wrong? Is it all my fault?

From the very start I was so into you Ooh from the beginning I was so so feeling you But you thought I cheated, that I played around on you But didn't you do the same, didn't you, didn't you?

Where did we go wrong? Is it all my fault? Where did we go wrong? Is it all my fault?

I wish I would've listened I wish I would've heard

Ooh I wish I would've touched you baby I wish I would've said the words That I love you, I love you I love you I love you, I love you"

"that was beautiful" he said

"how long have you been standing there"

"when you started to sing"

he walked to the piano and sat next to her

"I'm sorry I'm late I-"

"was at the studio.. mhh hum I know" she said dry looking at him

"baby what wrong" he said while trying to touch her shoulder

"really Chris don't baby me, you really don't know whats wrong" she looked at him like he was dumb

"no"

"wow Chris..you know what don't even bother im going to bed" she stood up from the stool and walked up the stairs

he watched her walk up the steps and then looked at the picture on the piano

"what happened to us" he whispered to himself

[toddhowardxreader]

.

[namjoonbby1]

Betrayal

Pairing - Hoseok x Reader

Genre - Murder AU

Word Count - 3k

Part 4/?

Synopsis - When y/n’s husband is accused of murder she’s sure he’s innocent. But as detectives find clues that point to him as the perpetrator, will she stand for her husband or against him?

A/n - Idunno if anyone reads this but if you do enjoy (:

Preview Part One Part Two Part Three

Masterlist

suspicion

a feeling or thought that something is possible, likely, or true.

Trust is one of the most important things you can have in a relationship. Without it, it is impossible to have a healthy relationship.

I wish I could say that things got better when Hoseok picked me up but it didnt. At least I was able to sleep, as soon as we arrived back to our house I passed out. I was drained and my bed never felt so comfortable. In the morning Hoseok woke me up, letting me know that he had the maid run me some warm bath water and breakfast was being made for me. The bath was relaxing, I was able to clear my mind even if just for a second before Hoseok came into the bathroom with a cup of coffee in hand.

"How are you feeling this morning?" He asked handing me a mug full of the black liquid and sitting in the love seat I had in my bathroom. His eyes furrowed a bit as if he was worried but also upset.

"I'm fine just a little headache." I answered taking a sip of the coffee. It was bitter and disgusting, I hated black coffee and my husband knew that. I wasn't sure if he was punishing me for getting so drunk or if he just wanted me to sober up. Maybe both.

"I'm so sorry that my actions caused you to feel the need to get so drunk. Ive never seen you like this before." He said. He seemed extremely apologetic and my heart hurt a little.

"I just, I just thought I was over what you did to me. But now it feels like I'm reliving it, and I thought I could trust you but I can't."

"I'll do whatever I need to do to regain your trust. I may have not been honest about how many times I was with her, but I want to be honest about everyting moving forward." He said.

I wanted so badly to believe him, to put all of my faith in him and never think about the situation again. But we had tried that. I thought that I knew the whole truth and was blissfully unaware that I was in fact, being decieved.

"Okay. What else do you want to tell me?" I asked.

"Well I wasn't completely honest about where I was the night Mina died."

"Where were you Hoseok?" I asked sternly.

"I went to meet her." He said.

"You cant be serious?" I said rubbing my head. I thought that my headache was fading but it had only gotten worst. The pain was a pulsating ache and everytime I would look Hoseok in the eye my head would throb.

"Im serious. She sent me a text saying that she needed to talk to me about something important. I went to meet her at a location she sent me but she never showed up." He stated.

"Hoseok why would you try to go and meet the woman that you cheated on me with?" I was really trying to understand his logic at this point. I never asked him to stay away from her. He was the one who told me he wanted to stay away. So why would he feel the need to sneak around and meet her. Was he seeing her again?

"I know it was stupid. I was worried because she never called me, she never even talked to me. We both agreed we wouldn't talk to one another after the affair and I worried that something was wrong if she was suddenly requesting to meet me."

I thought about it for a while. That's why he was running late to meet up with me the night of the charity event, because he went to meet her. What else could he be hiding? I wondered.

"What else are you hiding from me??" I demanded an answer.

"Jagi, that's everything. I swear." He said grabbing a hold of my hand. "I'll never hurt you again."

I closed my eyes taking in a deep breath. I wished I could believe him, that everything could just go back to how it was a few days ago but I couldnt, we couldn't.

"I just need time."

"Okay, I understand that." He said.

After exiting the bath, Hoseok finally went to work and I had the house to myself, with the exception of our housemaid. I went to look for her, I wanted to apologize for all the craziness that's been going on with the police coming over and what not. Our home usually wasn't this chaotic.

I saw her as I entered the kitchen, and she noticed me as well greeting me with her warm smile.

"Feeling better Mrs. Jung?" She asked. I wondered if I still looked like hell, considering how drunk I had gotten last night I was sure that I did.

"A bit, Mari how is everything going?" I asked sitting down at the kitchen bar as she continued to clean and then pausing to answer the question.

"I'm okay, Mrs. Jung. How is everything?"

"It's a little hetic right now but Im managing. I just wanted to let you know that we have officers coming over again later today. I wanted to warn you ahead of time so that you weren't alarmed."

"It's no problem, I knew that they cops would have to interrogate Mr. Jung after everything." She stated and her sentence caught me off guard.

"Everything?" I wondered what all she knew about this entire situation.

"Yes well since you and Mr. Jung were really close to Mrs. Kim." Close? I'm not sure if I would use that word to describe Mina and I's relationship, especially after the affair.

"I guess you could say we were kind of close to her. It's just so unfortunate that this happened to her." Even after finding out that her and Hoseok had seen eachother on a regular basis I still felt geninuely bad about the gruesome way in which she died.

"Yes it is, do you know how Mr. Jung is going to be prosecuted?" She questioned causing me to look at her as if she had lost her mind.

"Prosecuted? Why would Hoseok be prosecuted."

"I just thought, I thought that... " She started. But stopped as if she was afriad to speak. Any thoughts I had that Mari didn't have an clue about the situation were quickly cast out of my mind. She knew something, possibly more than I and I needed to find out what.

"Mari, I'm getting the feeling that you know more than I do. Please tell me everything that you know." I begged.

"But Mr. Jung instructed me not to tell you." She said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. There was some type of secret that my husband had instructed our housemaid to keep?

"He did what? Listen Mari, I promise he won't find out about this conversation. But now you need to tell me everything."

"Okay." She stated sitting down next to me.

"It all started a couple of months ago. Mina would come over often and Im sure you are already aware of what they would do. But lately they would aruge a lot, I overheard Mrs. Kim say that she didnt want to be involved anymore because she loved her husband. But Mr. Jung was very upset and he told her she had no choice but to continue seeing him."

My heart was hurting and I was struggling to keep up with what Mari was saying without changing my demeanor and expression because I honestly was hurting and disgusted all at the same time. Mari noticed and stopped talking.

"Im fine, please continue." I spoke.

"The last time it became violent. I believe you were out taking care of business when she came over. I tried not to easedrop but I heard Mina crying. She was saying that she was sure she was pregnant and knew that It had to be Mr. Jung's child. He become so upset, I could hear them shouting from the living room. He told her that she needed to get rid of the child or else he would."

"Oh god, no." I breathed out in total distress.

"Mrs. Jung please don't tell Mr. Jung. That night when he had seen that I was in the kitchen and had heard everything he warned me against telling anyone. He said that he would let me go and I can't afford to lose this job. I have a family to provide for." She reasoned.

"Don't worry." I said softly taking slow and steady breathes to calm down, you aren't going to be fired. I really appreciate you letting me know all of this Mari." I said forcing a smile to reassure her.

I let Mari go home for the night, she usually stayed in home with us but her husband and children lived on their own so she would occasionally go visit so I decided that it would be best for her to do that. When she was gone I took out my phone to call the detectives who were assigned to Mina's case and they told me they would be over shortly.

The time I waited seemed to go on for forever. And while I waited for them I thought over and over again about Hoseok. Was he really capable of killing someone? I believed he was the most warm hearted and caring person on the planet. He hardly ever raised his voice and was so mild tempered. The person that Mari described to me when she went over his conversation with Mina was not the Hoseok I knew. He seemed harsh and aggressive and I didnt know what to think.

A year ago I would have said that there was absolutely no way my husband would be capable of hurting anyone. But lie after lie he was breaking my heart and losing my trust and I didn't know what to do or how to feel.

The more I thought the more I wondered if I was making the right decision in acting so fast to reach out to the officers. I didn't know what I was doing or if I was making the right decision. The doorbell ran interrupting me mid thought and I knew that there was no more time for pondering. I needed be an adult and handle this situation so I calmed myself and went to answer the door.

I filled the officers in on every unpleasant detail that the maid had shared with me. I hated to do this to my husband but Mina was pregnant and her murder was gruesome. Whomever was responsible for that, may it be Hoseok or whomever else needed to be held accountable.

After hearing everything that I had to say the detectives said that they needed to do a search of our house so I waited anxiously until they were finished. Namjoon returned with something that was in a plastic bag. I could not tell what It was from a distance but as he got nearer I realized that It was a hammer and my eyes widened.

"Mrs. Jung, are you familiar with this?" He asked giving me a closer look and as I inspected it I saw very visible blood on it and my heart rate started to increase.

"I um - I think that could be ours. Where was that?"

"It was in hidden in your fireplace. We believe that this could be our murder weapon and based on this and your statement today we are going to preceded with an arrest."

My hand quickly covered my mouth and a stumbled back, Namjoon reached out to help me. "You are going to arrest him?"

"We have the murder weapon and plausible cause. We are going to get a warrant and we should be back shortly."

This was all happening so fast and before I knew it the detectives were leaving, and I was staring out of my dining room window waiting for my husband to arrive home. His car pulled up moments later and he entered the house taking off his shoes and heading towards my direction

"There you are baby. I've been trying to call you to see if you had eaten. I picked up take out." I heard him place something on the table but I didnt turn around I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

"Are you still upset?" He said approaching me from behind and wrapping his arms around my waist. I finally spun around to face him my eyes were watering and I knew that he could tell something was up.

"Y/n, are you crying? Baby I know you are upset with me. But please don't cry. He said wipling away at my tears.

"Did you - do it?" I finally managed to say.

"Did I do what?" He asked genuinely concered.

"Did you kill her Hoseok?" I asked.

"What?" Hoseok said as if I was telling some sort of joke and he couldn't understand the punchline. "You aren't serious are you?"

"You cant lie to me anymore, you have to be honest now." I said through tears.

"I didn't kill Mina!!" He yelled and I immediately shut myself off. I didn't want to hear the lies I just couldn't take it anymore, so I remained silent fixing my gaze back on the window.

"Look at me y/n. You have to talk to me." He said but I continued to ignore him.

“Turn around and talk to me.” Hoseok demanded as I looked out of the window. I didn’t want to look at him, if I did I knew that I would be moved by his soft features, the face that I had fallen in love with.

“What have I done to you? What could I have done to make you believe that I could be capable of doing something this horrible?”

“Look at me!!” Hoseok yelled as he hit the dinning room table causing a glass to fall and shatter on the floor. I jumped in fear from his actions. In the entire time I had known him I had never been so afraid.

I felt a wave of relief but also nervousness as I heard police cars in the distance. The cars approached our mansion and I saw that the gates were opened and they were coming  in. Moments later they entered the room.

“Jung Hoseok you are under arrest for the murder of Kim Mina." Namjoon said.

"What the hell is going on?" Hoseok yelled.

"You have the right to remain silent anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.”

“Did you do this?” Hoseok asked as the officers started to secure handcuffs on him.

The look that he gave me wasn’t one of anger. I think that I could have handled that a bit more. The look that he gave me was one of pure hurt, it was as If I had taken a knife to his abdomen. I felt absolutely horrible and refused to look at him.

“Y/n please look at me.” He said as he was being dragged out of our house by Taehyung and another officer.

I couldn’t bring myself to look at him and I could only look out of the window. I watched as they dragged him to the car and before they put him in the back seat he looked at me and I that’s when the tears I held in started to pour down my face.

I let out a loud sob breaking down and Namjoon just stared at me as if he wasn't quite sure what to do. He finally walked closer to me and after what seemed like minutes of uncertainty he pulled me into his arms allowing me to sob on his chest.

We stayed like that for a while before I calmed down a bit and was able to sit on the sofa.

"I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but regardless of what happens you are a very brave person y/n." Namjoon stated.

"Brave? All I did was turn in my husband."

"You are seeing that Mrs. Jung's family gets justice for her murder even if that means that your husband is taken away from you. That's bravery y/n."

"Well thank you."

"If you need anything, anything at all." Namjoon said placing his hand on my shoulder. "Don't hesitate to give me a call."

Namjoon left and I was alone. Being alone is the worst possible thing to he when you have so many thoughts in your heard. Because you have no one to distract you from everything you were thinking. I tried to turn on the Tv just to have some sort of Distraction but I just stared at it blankly as I pondered my current situation.

Was Hoseok going to be convicted for Mina's murder? If so how long would he be in prison? Did I need to call a lawyer to get divorce papers? And how is Jin going to feel when he finds out that his best friend possibly murdered his wife?

So many questions, so many thoughts. It was all too much and I wanted nothing more than to run away but I couldn't. I couldn't change anything about my current situation and it left me to wonder

Is life going to get any better?

[onisiondrama]

Joy Sparkle BS Speaks- Laineys Twitter and Livestream Attacks

I tried to be kind, considerate, and give Lainey a chance to speak, as she wanted. But now I am speaking out on what happened last night.

I run a youtube channel Joy Sparkle BS. I released an interview with Erin and Haylee, two girls Lainey dated ONLINE, and had made plans to meet up with both, around 2 weeks ago. I moved on from the onision subject and onto other topics. I said from the beginning I am NOT here to cover all of his dramatic BS, honestly there would be NO way in the WORLD to keep up with it all. I only wanted to focus on the two subjects, his making money off of underage minors and children in their underwear, with no apology, and him harassing billie, ayalla, and his exes/harassment of teenagers.

Last night, Lainey decided to start tweeting about the interview, to which I got an onslaught of 12 year old onion and lamp fans reacting with nonesense on twitter to me, which is fine, they are children, this is what they do.

I began doing a younow broadcast, and while I was streaming, Sarah was mentioned in tweets that were being written back and forth between the 12 year olds and myself, and SArah responded and send me the “cash me outside, how bou dat” meme.

Sarah also let me know i was using incorrect pronouns for lainey.

i respectfully told sarah i loved that meme and thanks for sending it, and told her that i not only have health/memory issues, but moreso, lainey keeps changing her pronouns, with my memory issues i have a hard time keeping up with it.

then lainey began streaming, so people from my stream went back and forth between streams to let me know what was being said. lainey was ripping me, erin, and haylee apart, as far as i understood it from my viewers and younow.youtube friends. lainey said the following:

-She was upset that I did not reach out to her directly and get her side of the story before i released the interview. —I explained that I DID reach out, i tweeted at her TWICE, but felt if i tried more than that, she would think I am harassing her, so I figured she was not interested, which is fine, thats her choice. Im a smaller youtuber (11k subs and growing) and figured she did not want to get involved.

-After my viewers/friends relayed the message, she said I did not try HARD  enough to get intouch with her, that i should have tried her busiess email or instagram. —-I had NO idea she had a business email, and i dont have an instagram, only facebook and twitter, so twitter was the only way i knew how to respectfully contact her.

-I offeredto speakto her, woman to woman, to which she replied if I tried to come into her broadcast she would block me

-Seeing as tho i dont like bullshit, and want to be fair, i went into her stream and left 3 respectful comments telling her i would be happy to talk to her in private/interview her/or invite her on my stream, and that we can work thigs out peacfully. i was threatened to be blocked, not sure if it ever happened.

-As I was in the stream, everyone was writing KILLJOY andmaking it a hashtag. this went on throughout the WHOLE stream, and my understanding is ONLY in the end did they tell everyone not to kill me and start blocking people about it. It was also reported when people started saying to kill me, the two girls laughed.

-Lainey accused me of doing it for the money, so i showed SCREEN SHOTS of my stats to PROVE i dont monetize the onision series on the underage miniors in underwear OR the harassment of billie and ayalla

-to which they replied i did it for attention and subs, however my subs were in the high thousands by the time that interview was released

-My viewers tried to reason with her and let them know I am a decent person and fair and im trying to be kind,t o which she threatened to block my viewers for saying that

-She said she woud not speak to me bc i misgendered her

-When ym viweres told her i have memory issues (veyr true, copper toxicity and fibromyalgia) she said  i misgendered her throughout the whole video.

-I thenw ent on twitter and respectfully wrote lainey 3 tweets letting her know i was open to speaking to her, apologized if i was at all offensive, and offered a private convo to respect her privacy, to which she kept tweeting PUBLICALLY at me. 

-Long tweeting stories short, she told me that she already said everyting she needed to say, insisted i take the interview down bc i know its all lies (which is not true, ive SEEN the proof from what the girls told me, and lainey offered me no proof and refuses to talk to me, although shes upset that i wont talk to her, so…), and when i asked to speak w her bc she wanted me to, said she told her story through the younow stream and for me to watch it.

-When i asked her where it was archived, bc i coudnt see it, she said she didnt know, she hadnt used younow in a year,although she used it a couple weeks ago when she doxxed one of the anti onision bloggers online.

-i asked her how i can tell her story if she did not have the broadcast up, she did not respond. i asked twice nicely, no response.

now today, after her fans went after me again, she has blocked me.

sorry for the typos and if this is written oddly, having a sick night tonight, but wanted to share my side of how this went down.i am STILL willing to talk to her and be fair and balanced, however, in the end, i think this is all crybullyism, she gets it from Greg. ive been OVERLY supportive and kind to her in my videos, this was just another way she can lash out at people while claiming to be the victim.

now greg is harassing these girls AGAIN. i was true to my word, i stopped reporting on him when he and the clan backed off of harassment of the girls. but now will be following this until he stops again.

thanks for taking the time to read. if anyone has any questions please direct them to my tumblr joyspakrlebs or my twitter joysparklebs

[submitted by: joysparklebs]

[rokusensei]

ok so its 2.24am on the 25th of september i moved in on the 22nd of september so the saturday i spent the whole of saturday having a really awful breakdown that just sapped all my energy out and then on sunday i half continued it half messed around for a bit , went up to the store to buy some stuff i had forgotten, ate a bit and found out i need to not eat nothing because my stomach is not the way it used to be at the height of that little eating disorder as mine, sat aorund a lot. on the 24th i did all my enrolment and my induction day speeches which was a lot . doing things at university definitely is a way to stop feeling so weird and alien but it still doesnt do it that much for me... lots of students from this country came to university with their friends and they point at notice boards to names of other people, older than them, from their schools, and its like wow, awkward.,,

i had dinner with some international students though so i feel a little better about idk everyting even though i hyperanalyse the whole thing and everything i said and everything they said but its like whatever i have to force myself to let go a little bit . and one girl i met a while ago at the open day is here as well which is a huge relief just to have another face i recongise and thats about it

flatmates i havent really spoken to and i feel like a freak for not doing so but what else can ido..i just sit in my room and cry on and off so imm thankful i have internet friends even if they have to see me talking to myself about how lonely i feel and etc etc etc. and im thankful i dont live too far away from home and can visit a lot . because i need too not just because they got a cat the second i left but because im crazy and i dont feel comfortable anywhere else.. idont thik im ready to move out at all and forcing myself to this year was a leap a little too soon and im probab;y saying this early but whatever maybe if i was living by myself itd be different but sharing with flatmates i dont really know or can be comfortable around at all freaks me out so i end up avoiding them when i want to go out to the kitchen or anything and i just spend a lot of time sitting nervously in my room . le sigh. i dont know.i hope things get easier bc thatwould be epic but im not holding out for hope and i have 3 books i need to read for next week and theyre all huge (paradise lost, the pardoners tale, the bible) and its like if noting else goes well at least i can sit alone in my room and read those, think about that, spend even more time by myself, but its fine and its easy to read on the train and its easy to sit at home and read and just be in my bedroom instead of being in this weird freaky little room that im scared of

something else i should say for future me cringing down atall these old posts is when i had my breakdown on the 22nd before my parents left i was freaking out and telling my mother that i feel unsafe and paranodi and im having hallucinations etc and ik she doesnt really give a fuck theway i want hertoo nd she said shed callthe doctor and arrange an appointment for me but she probably hasnt and instead shed rather ask me over the phone why i havent gone outside yet why i havent spoken to my flatmates yet but its whatever i wanted to try and talk to the doctor when i got here just to talk to a doctor and egt some conformation that i am actually like. ill. and im not just super bad at coping with things everyone has bc i think thatd kill me but its just so hard to get towards that and its just so hard to get someone to sit down in a room with me just so i can tell them that i think whatevers going on with me is just not normal

mentor greetings tomorrow at 1pm and then it finishes at 2pm and ijm coming back to my dorm to read and sleep probably.. wednesday ihave some tours at midday.. thursday i have nothing friday i have a meeting with my personal tutor. ive been sleeping a lot these days because i feel so upset all the time and sometimes it feels like everyones a little sick of my endless breakdown but whatever im in hell and this is going to last all year probably .so i end up sleeping a lot and walking around the local streets a lot and theres a bunch of stuff on this week like freshers fairs and stuff and i want to join these unions and clubs and societies but you know its hard. theres 3 diffwrent journalism ones and id love to join one of them but its like what do i haveto say. at all. do i have anything to say. bc university is all about finding out who you are and what you want to do and etc etc etc but rly who am i. at all.