#walrus talk

[crowreys-wormstache]

You guys will not fucking believe this

[jazzyjesse]

a fairy at your door is a fantasy novel but a walrus at your door is fridge horror

[flowersforvax]

It's hard keeping up with memes when you're a fairy, and also a walrus. She doesn't know what's going on but she's pretty sure people are inviting her to knock on their door

[boytranscending]

Ok, we've had the fairy vs. walrus debate, now there's the clone vs. robot debate. I want to know if there's a relationship between people's answers to these two questions

So, our questions:

If you heard a knock at the door, would you be more disturbed to find a fairy or a walrus on the doorstep?

Which would be more disturbing: finding out you're a robot, or finding out you're a clone?

I have a theory about what the answers are going to look like, but I'll wait on talking about it until I've got some data.

[jackfromthefairytale]

ERRA - Pale Iris [2023]

dir. Orie McGinness

[lowtideandhightea]

see the thing is - i know there's a lot about the world i dont know or understand! & my general opinion on basically all paranormal shit is "probably doesnt exist, and if it does, it probably actually does fit into the rules of reality in a way that we simply do not fully understand yet"

so like. i dont think fairies are real. but im not so confident in my absolute knowledge of all reality that if fairies were real, it would somehow break my understanding of reality - there's flex for the understanding of the things i do not know, and a fairy getting to my door can easily fit into that flex.

but a walrus! i do have an acceptable understanding of the limits of an average walrus. even if you take away the knocking directly on my door, a walrus getting to my home, in an extremely landlocked area that is a reasonably significant distance from any zoos and the closest body of water being a drainage ditch that is still several blocks away- it requires breaking knowledge that i am confident that i know the limits of!

i am simply much more confident in my knowledge of walruses, as a species, than i am in my knowledge that i am aware of everything that does or does not exist

[snowriddenwolf]

moo deng this, moo deng that, EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT UKIAQ

this is Ukiaq, aka Uki, aka Little Miss Walrus. Ukiaq (whose name means 'autumn' in the Inupiaq language) is an orphaned Pacific walrus calf who was rescued by the Alaska Sea Life Center in July. she was found alone on beaches in Utqiagvik (Alaksa's most northern city), malnourished, dehydrated, and covered in small wounds. she was promptly rescued.

because of many circumstances, Uki can't be released to the wild. walruses are extremely social and need 24/7 care, meaning that two staff members have to be with her at all times, and she is too habituated to human care. there was also no way to reunite her with her walrus herd, as they had moved on and she needed 24/7 medical care.

the GOOD news is she got literally the best care possible. every single walrus-caring facility in the united states (all five of them!) sent staff to ASLC to assist in her medical care and hand-rearing. Uki has thrived, she is ADORABLE, and she is getting very appropriate care, as well as completely blowing up the ASLC's instagram. you want round baby animal pics go look at her and watch her playing in pools, blowing bubbles, and wearing playing with construction hats

Ukiaq has now been sent to her forever home. I'm very devastated that it's not at the zoo 45 minutes from my house, which was one of the options, and is instead the literally other end of the country, but her new home at SeaWorld Orlando is not only experienced in raising walrus calves, but has an experienced female cow who may become a surrogate mom to her, meaning she can start being less dependent on humans and learn walrus skills from an actual walrus!

SHE'S SO FUCKING CUTE GO LOOK AT HER AND THROW MONEY AT ASLC, THEY'RE THE ONLY PERMANENT WILDLIFE RESCUE CENTER FOR MARINE MAMMALS IN THE WHOLE ASS STATE AND THEY DID SUCH A GOOD JOB TAKING CARE OF HER!!!

anyways here's 80 more pictures of the world's best baby

[starlightsugar]

Is a tumblr meme cinematic universe a bad idea? Because I just want the memes to interact

[coffee-and-manslaughter]

[fizzingwizard]

Her real name is the Snark Maiden

"You're an ass" !!!

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Ace Trappola Apprentice Chef Voice Lines

Summon Line: Don't think this'll be too difficult, 'cause it's a class for beginners. Eh, I'll just bang this out the best I can!

Groooovy!!: I mean, I don't really care if my dishes get compliments, or anything... Hey, I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I'm totally happy!

Home: Ooh, I look like a pro, don't I?

Home Idle 1: I feel like most deeply-colored veggies tend to have a more unique flavor. When it comes to both humans and vegetables, the stronger and brighter they are, the more distinct they are... Or, something like that.

Home Idle 2: While I was chatting with Sebek, Lilia passed by and tossed me a piece of candy... But it had a weird color, and I still haven't brought myself to try it.

Home Idle 3: Whenever someone tells me I can't do something, that makes me want to do it even more. Like putting stuff in the microwave that I shouldn't.

Home Idle - Login: Cooking, huh～ I only got a bit of experience from my turns helping make the sweets for the tea parties, but... Eh, I'm sure it'll be fine!

Home Idle - Groovy: Woah, perfect! It came out looking good ♪ Whaddya think? Looks like even cooking's no biggie for me when I put my mind to it!

Home Tap 1: Cherry pies that's got them fresh cherries piled on top feel like a total delicacy. Totally different vibe from candied cherries.

Home Tap 2: 'Cause of this one book I read when I was a kid, I really can't stand raw oysters. Kinda reminds me of that story whenever I see 'em...

Home Tap 3: Eh? Am I not supposed to wash the frying pans with soap? Oh, just not the cast iron ones? Sigh... That's about as nitpicky as one of the laws of the Queen of Hearts.

Home Tap 4: Man, I'm so glad the tomatoes were so easy to crush～ On the other hand, pureeing the chestnuts was sooo hard...

Home Tap 5: Ack! I was eyeballing how much salt to throw in, but now it's way too salty! Eeeh, I thought it'd work out, too. You mean, I gotta be more exact with it?

Home Tap - Groovy: How's it? Good? ...Awesome, sounds like you really do like it. There's still a lot more where that came from, so don't hesitate to grab seconds.

Requested by Anonymous.

[humanmaybe]

Listen the thing about walrus vs fairy is that fundamentally the question of shock is about the exact moment you open the door to find either a walrus or a fairy. Not how you feel after thinking about it for a bit - the initial surprise of opening the door to either a magical creature (which could look more or less humanoid) or a massive semi-aquatic animal (a fucking walrus)

Do you know how fuck off huge walruses are? Yeah I would have a bit of a crisis after learning magic exists and my understanding of the world has been completely re-written. But that’s still a fucking walrus, a large and sometimes aggressive sea animal which should not be anywhere near my house. My first reaction is going to be OH FUCK?? And probably closing the door before it gets inside or decides to be aggressive

[onyxedskies]

i asked my mom if she would be more surprised if a walrus or a fairy knocked on the door and her response was, and i quote, “probably a walrus, i have a house full of fairies”

[cats-inthe-cradle]

At this point this is where I stand:

What I think is more likely: walrus

What I would be more surprised by: walrus

What I would be more scared of: the fairy probably

[yotsubafan2000]

[amayikes]

in case anyone worries that I just said I've discussed walrus fairy with my partner for two hours, it's not a fight discussion, we're just two autism-bained academia suckasses and we LOVE getting into long profound discussions, and right now is "how the fairy/walrus dichotomy of humans reflects their stances on religion (my argument, I vote walrus) and ultimately proves how dangerous thought patterns lead to the prevalence of scams (his argument, he votes fairy)