#wallahi i will never despair

[lvstharmony]

you can say or do whatever you want, i will never let this dunya and the people within it harden my heart.

[faithful-diaries]

Assalamu alaykoum sister. I hope you are good alhamdulilah, i am a 20 year old sister. I did put my hijab in 2019 when iwas 15, i had a bad past but 2 years ago i came to the right path alhamdulilah. I have t4ouble overthinking about my past, if maybe some pics ( very sinful pics) got leaked or something. I repented to Allah subhana wa taala so much, i started praying again and reminding myself with my akhirah. But i overthink so so much that maybe something got leaked and 4 years later i may havent found and iam living here peacefully while i may have been gaining sins and maybe my parents find out. 2 years ago when i started my deen journey again i didnt even remember. This days i have cried a lot and i do remember quite a few details about what happened when i sinned and i dont quite remember if that person had screnshoted those pics or anything. I am so scared that my sins may come to light or its just my mind giving me a hard time while overthinking. I am fully making duaa and crying in my prayer mat and i wanna calm myself but i dont know how. Any tips or duaa so i can have a relief and ask Allah for forgiveness and to cover my sins if they have been leaked online? Howncan i improve? Jazakallahu khair ukhti.

Walaikum assalam my dear sister 🤍

Jazakallahu khair, I am good

I will also turn 20 this year🤝

Reading this, I remembered how my best friend went through this same thing earlier this year and how she used to be so low about it, her mind was occupied by the whisperings of shaytaan like yours is now,

But wallahi trust me when I tell you this that a person who returns to Allah with sins that reach up the sky but with a sincere heart, Allah swt accepts them and turns their sins into good deeds, just imagine Subhan Allah

You needs to know that ALLAH never abandons His friends nor does He ever let them get crushed by this duniya.

Just never stop asking for his forgiveness, yk there’s this word in arabic “Raja’a” that in English is translated as "hope" but the meaning of this word is - "to return" so being hopeful is to return to your Rabb. No matter what happens in this Duniya just make sure that your mind stays firm on the struggle for jannah and to never despair of His mercy.

We can’t forget what happened in the past but we can use it as a motivation to do better for our akhirah.

But we can’t waste our time overthinking about something that we don’t have any control over right, imagine this thing you are overthinking so much about, if you have truly repented from this, know that Allah swt has changed it into a good deed. How reassuring is that!

So don’t fall in the traps of shaytaan, He very well knows a person’s weaknesses and he triggers those emotions that can make a person fall into hopelessness and despair.

[39:56]

Here are some beautiful and beneficial duas that will help you in sha Allah,

This is called Sayyid al-Istighfar (the best way to ask for Allah’s forgiveness)

I will also recommend you to watch this series called “change of hearts” by Ali hammuda and especially this episode where he talks about Tawakkul (Reliance upon Allah swt)

May this finds you in the best of health and Imaan🫶🏻🤍

Fi Amanillah ukhti🌷

[merakimay]

The dua I’ve been making for two years just got answered yesterday. I was slowly deteriorating as an individual but I held on for two years. It was only three days ago when I fell into utmost despair where I tried my best to refrain from sin. I called out to Allah believing it to be the last I’ll ever try and he replied after I woken up. No matter how long it takes, keep making dua. Wallahi I never thought he would have replied. Just like that, all thoughts of relapse I had ceased to exist, at once.

لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ اللَّهُ، وَحْدَهُ لاَ شَرِيكَ لَهُ، لَهُ الْمُلْكُ وَلَهُ الْحَمْدُ، وَهْوَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَىْءٍ قَدِيرٌ‏

I’ve been clean for 1 year and 2 months but I’m so fearful because of my strong desire to relapse. This loneliness is swarming me not because I’m not used to it, but because I will have to be. I feel like there is nobody here with me, now and I am no one’s favourite girl. If I can’t have the life I want at least let me indulge in talk with the people I want to hear from and if not that then let me scar myself with no remorse. I’m so afraid of my feelings. Of this feeling. Ya Allah please don’t let me relapse!

[bintadnan]

Learn the Language

A heartfelt request to anyone who comes across this - please do yourself a huge favour and start learning Arabic if you aren't on this journey already. You may have read somewhere or heard someone underscore its importance and I'm here to further and echo all of that. Wallahi, once you start to understand the grammar (إعراب), morphology (صرف), tenses, Nahw and rhetoric (بلاغة) you won't be able to look at the Qur'an the same way again. So many things will naturally start to stick out for you that someone who isn't acquainted with the language will simply overlook and fail to appreciate. You will not be able to help yourself but truly pause and reflect at the ayaat of Allah deliberating over the beautiful and impeccable symmetry of His words and find yourself asking why is so-and-so word appearing earlier than expected and why is so-and-so word delayed according to the grammatical rules and theory? You will be able to identify the places where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has added an extra layer of emphasis as a means of drawing your attention to certain words and phrases. Every word in the Qur'an offers us an infinite ocean of reflection and it is nothing short of a disservice to the book of Allah and an incredible loss for us to keep staring at the tip of the iceberg when marvels await us beyond it. You might envy those people who bawl and sob at the recitation of the Qur'an or break down into a pool of tears in the middle of their salah wishing your heart could split open like theirs. You can be in their shoes and experience those tides of emotions if you study the language intending to befriend His words and not to refute someone in a debate or prove anything to anyone. Your brain will start unravelling insights that wouldn't pass without studying the language. You would crave to unlock more and more every day. All of this is possible by Allah's will. See, I'm not belittling the fact that the language certainly appears difficult to someone with no background, who is looking to explore it from scratch. But aren't most of them? When your niyyah is sincere then you will catch yourself by surprise learning the language with ease and diligence because you're striving to draw closer to Allah and it is nothing but an act of ibadah. I will briefly share a few words in the hope of encouraging and compelling you to take the leap. When I first became exposed to reminders emphasising the importance of Arabic I used to wonder haughtily (أستغفر الله) that reading the translation will suffice for me and as long as I continue to go through them time and again I have best contemplated the word of Allah. I'm not in need of putting myself through something so rigorous and laborious when these translations are available for me at the drop of a hat (I'm not undermining the accessibility of the translations here so don't take me wrong). Until one day, I heard a lecture (khutbah) and was amazed at the way the speaker was conveying the messages embedded in the Qur'an that I, in my understanding of the translations never grasped, felt an immediate pang of guilt in my heart. I found myself vying for those skills- the ability to extract those meanings myself, to develop direct access and connection to the word of Allah. I couldn't continue to ignore the call anymore and the guilt was bearing heavily on my conscience. I just knew that I'm depriving myself of the most beautiful gift ie, the language and this heedless attitude had to come to a halt. Although let me put this out there the change didn't happen overnight or consequently afterwards. I tried Youtube and saved courses to my playlist but everything seemed insurmountable. I was left more discouraged than before since nothing was working for me at that point. The dream was faltering. I was channelling my despair through constant du'as. there was desperation in my voice in the last third of the night and wallahi, I might have stopped making efforts towards learning the language but I never stopped requesting Allah for help.

I even felt guilty for begging Him despite not putting in any visible effort but somehow my du'as never ceased, Alhamdulillah. And SubhanAllah, truly the du'a made in the last third of the night is an arrow that doesn't miss its target. Allah uprooted every feeling of intimidation and uncertainty from my heart and instilled a love for this language, opened the doors of possibility, and brought me across the best place for learning for me. If you've made it thus far please consider these words as a hopeful reminder from Allah. He steered you in this direction and wants you to take the plunge and leave your worries in His care. You can test and try whatever works for you until you land across the best source for yourself. But please don't cave to the whispers of the devil who will blow things out of proportion for you and make it seem a herculean and impossible task. I pray that this inspires you even if a tad bit. May Allah plant the love for this language in your heart and grant you immense ease in your learning. May He make you steadfast and allow you to own the language in a way that opens up another dimension for you.

[suhyla]

true story for anon and anyone else wondering if Allah hears your duaas. years ago, when i first starting thinking about this desire to change and get closer to Allah, i also felt i wouldn't be heard. but i was like eh might as well try. and one night i tried praying tahajjud, after discovering that would be the best time to make dua. now mind you, i made a bunch of duaas and wasn't even paying attention to what i was saying. i said everything that came to mind, with a 'might as well' attitude. of course, i chose to end my duaa off strong, and like a true high school girl, asked Allah to help me lose weight 😂 then I say my ameens and go to sleep. next morning at like 10am (which was SUPER early for me) one of my friends calls me, waking me up from sleep. i'm really annoyed and ask what's up. she says she's gotten a gym membership and she's allowed to bring a guest with her. now mind you I'm half asleep, my friends know i hate mornings, i'd never set foot in a gym before and couldn't imagine why in the world she'd think I would want to go to the gym at 10am on a summer day. until i remembered! i literally froze and my head immediately shot up to the sky like wait is this my answer?! 😂 and I kept my eyes open that summer, trying to find Allah's responses to me everywhere I went. and little by little, the more i tried to seek Allah, the more I found Him. I felt His love when I'd get the urge to make duaa again. I felt as if He was smiling at me when I'd pass an exam I thought I wouldn't pass. i felt like He wanted to tell me something, when I'd open the Quran and find an ayah that describes my state perfectly. it was a whole new life for me. and years later, here i am alhamdullilah.

I still feel like that period was the closest I've ever been to Allah, even though that was perhaps the most difficult time of my life. It's interesting that a naive little high schooler who was just starting to rediscover her deen could feel so much imaan. but it just goes to show you that when we are at our lowest, Allah is nearer than ever. All we have to do is call upon Him. Wallahi He gets happy when we call on Him. Especially when we feel unworthy. Because we put our hope in His mercy above our own despair at our actions. So always always always remember that He is close. He is near. That realization alone is enough to shake off the mountains we carry on our backs.

[al-firdaus]

Is there any greater day than yawm-ul-'Arafat?

The Prophet (ﷺ) mentioned that this is the day wherein Allah frees the most amount of His slaves. Know that tomorrow awaits you. No matter how many sins you've committed, Allah's granted you the day of 'Arafah so that you can ask of Him and He may give you. So that you can seek His forgiveness so that He can forgive you too. So turn back to Him and renew your promise with Him just like you had made a promise to Him before being sent to this world. Allah had asked you, "Am I not your Lord?" And you had said, "Yes, I have testified." Never despair of the Mercy of Allah because #wallahi, you will find Him to be all-Forgiving, always. May the tears that flow from your eyes on this day out of fear of Him be a means for you being granted shade under His 'Arsh. May your love and devotion on this blessed day bear its fruits on the day of judgement. Allahumma Ameen.

[noellesl111-blog]

Ya allah, forgive me if I ever question what you’ve written for me. Ya Allah,please forgive me for all my moments of despair when I didn’t call out for your help. Ya Allah ,make me of those who only rely on you. Ya allah, forgive me if a day passes and I don’t thank you enough and ask you to forgive my sins. If I never wake up tomorrow Wallahi forgive me. Forgive me if I’ve wronged you or harmed you in anyway. May Allah forgive me and you, and accept from us any good we’ve tried to accomplish in the short time we spend here.#astaghfirullah

[saffiyahh]

The best of those who are those who repent. How merciful is الله? Baffles me Wallahi! We sin and sin day to day. Be He still grants us His Rahma. There's nothing that He won't forgive you for. Don't be harsh on yourself. A sister rang me sobbing telling me how unworthy she felt and due to that, she left all her salahs and stopped her dhikr and extra ibadats she used to do. But I consoled her telling that all the negativity is from Shaytaan. And سبحان الله I get many sisters telling me the same thing. How they feel so unworthy of Allah's mercy. But it's not up to us if we want it or not. He gives us because He sees something worthy of giving it to us in the first place, so this threatens Shaytaan so He will do anything I mean anything to make you distant toward الله. When He's finished in whispering us encouraging us to sin He will start on the good deeds we do سبحان الله. But الله sees past all of that. He still forgives. We repent and repent and repent but we get tired. But الله forgives and forgives and will forever forgive and never ever get tired. الله is who you make Him to be. Always see the positivity and His attributes and I say wallahi He will grant that to you! Don't ever despair in الله mercy... Imaan is a roller coaster one day our Imaan is high next us slow but the sweetness of Imaan will always keep us motivated. Most important thing I can say is don't be harsh on yourself. All the negative thoughts are from Shaytaan and all the khair is from الله.

[lvstharmony]

Wallahi, as long as we have a Lord Who says “Kun Faya Kun”, I will never despair, never lose hope.