#wakko's dead

[audi-art]

Post-Season 3 content

[gj-morrowstrike]

"Hello Nurses!"

I'm kinda surprised I've never seen any art with these two together before. Figured I'd change that😊

[olddirtybadfic]

Brotherly Love: A Taboo Animaniacs Fanfic (Part One of Seven)

I warned you this was coming (check the tags). I told you, dog.

I was an older teenager when I wrote this. I'm pretty sure I had started college at the time. Somebody shared a dorm room with me while I was writing this nonsense. Possibly, they were writing similar nonsense; I went to a weird college.

Readers of my other account (that I haven't yet connected to this one) might recognize that I tried to rework this into a James/Meowth fic (but didn't get very far). Apparently, mapping Meowth, James, and Jessie onto Yakko, Wakko, and Dot might not work as well as I had previously thought.

Anyway, DEAD GOODFEATHERS: DO NOT EAT

Content Warning: Consensual romantic relationship between two siblings (just because I wrote about it in a story doesn't mean I'd do it; I have a sibling and I would never get bizzay with them); aged-up characters; terrible attempt at writing Scratchansniff's accent out phonetically; exhibitionism; questionable knowledge of psychology; big emotions, including: *extremely Gonzo voice* GUILT and *extremely Septa Unella voice* SHAME SHAME SHAME (ding ding); Yakko angst

-O-o-O-o-O-

All was quiet over Burbank that Thursday night. Yakko Warner sat on the balcony of the Warner Brothers Studio water tower, gazing over the city lights.

His two younger siblings, Wakko and Dot, were worn out from that day’s antics and were soundly sleeping in the bedroom the three shared. They hadn’t even stirred when Yakko closed the door of the water tower. Yakko should have been tired too, considering he wreaked just as much havoc as his siblings, but he had a lot on his mind.

Lately, he’d been having these “feelings.” They were similar to the ones he got when he looked at Hello Nurse, but more intense. Hello Nurse was pleasing to the eye—very—but that was it. He merely liked looking at her, not….doing things with her, like what he wanted to do with the object of these “feelings.”

The Warners didn’t age, being toons, but Yakko figured he should still have gone through puberty by now. He didn’t know much about this subject, having driven Ms. Flamiel off before she could teach them Health, but nevertheless, he was sure he wasn’t supposed to be having feelings for the person that he did.

A cold breeze chilled Yakko’s skin through his fur. He decided it was time to go back inside.

Before turning in, he decided to check on his siblings. Dot, on the bunk just above Yakko’s slept relatively quietly, occasionally muttering about how cute she was. Actually, Dot did look pretty cute when she was sleeping—a trait not many people possessed. And Yakko certainly didn’t expect the object of his affections to possess this trait, considering how gross he acted in his waking hours.

Yakko easily scaled the top bunk to gaze upon the object of his affection. His little brother, Wakko, lay curled up, pillow’s edge in his mouth, half-covered by the blanket.

Watching his brother sleep so innocently only forced the most dirty thoughts into Yakko’s mind. Hastily, he tried to expel them. “This is my baby brother! How could I ever think of doing those things to him?”

Looking shamefully down at Wakko, Yakko decided it was time for another cold shower.

-O-o-O-

For once in his life, Yakko was the last Warner sibling to wake up. Usually that honor fell to Wakko, but Yakko hadn’t exactly fallen asleep right after he went back to bed.

See, Yakko liked to talk. He talked almost every second of the day, to the point where Dr. Scratchinsniff threatened to duct tape his mouth shut. He even talked in his sleep, especially when something was bothering him. If Dot or Wakko had heard him, well….he didn’t want to think about it.

So one can imagine Yakko’s sheer horror when he woke up to Wakko, sitting by his bed, staring at him.

“Wakko, what are you doing?” Yakko shrieked, sitting straight up in bed.

“Watchin’ you,” Wakko answered calmly.

When Yakko realized that Wakko probably hadn’t heard him talking in his sleep—otherwise he would have been a lot less calm—he calmed down.

“I mean, what are you doing watching me,” Yakko said, more calmly.

Wakko shrugged. “You’re usually the first one up.”

Yakko sighed, relieved. However, Wakko took it as a sigh of exasperation and immediately drooped.

“If you don’t want me to, I won’t do it anymore,” he said in a small voice.

Yakko rushed to comfort him. “No, I don’t mind you watching me. Hope you’re enjoying the view.” Yakko flashed a cheesy smile at Wakko. Wakko giggled.

“God, what a cute giggle,” Yakko thought.

“I guess Dot’s already up,” Yakko commented, making the bed.

“She’s in the bathroom,” Wakko answered, throwing off his pajamas. He searched around for his blue sweatshirt.

Yakko turned around to look for his pants and let out a short cry of shock. He was staring directly at Wakko’s naked form. True, Wakko’s back was turned, and he didn’t normally wear pants, but still…. Yakko was fascinated by his brother’s lack of self-awareness sometimes. He suddenly turned away. “Stop gawking at your brother like that!” he mentally scolded himself.

“What happened?” Wakko asked, from under his shirt.

“I just stubbed my toe. I really should move the night table further away from the bed,” Yakko said, his eyes creeping slowly toward Wakko, who was still putting on his shirt and still naked.

At that moment, Dot came out of the bathroom. The minute she walked in the room, she shrieked. “Wakko, put your clothes on!”

Yakko saw a devilish smile come over his brother’s face.

“What if I don’t?” Wakko challenged, lifting his shirt higher over his head.

Yakko, despite his conflicting emotions, turned to the camera, blew a kiss and said, “Goodnight, everybody!”

Dot only rolled her eyes. “Wakko, if you don’t put your clothes on, I’ll be forced to….” She thought for a moment, then grinned menacingly. “I’ll be forced to call in a clown!”

Wakko’s eyes bugged out, then he very quickly slid his shirt onto his body.

Yakko raised an eyebrow. “Darn. I was beginning to enjoy that—WHAT?! NO!” He immediately slapped himself for thinking it. He put on his pants very quickly, hoping to hide the sudden protrusion.

As soon as the siblings finished breakfast, the phone rang. It was Dr. Scratchansniff, asking them to come in for their appointment.

Yakko was too consumed by his thoughts to even notice Hello Nurse, which really surprised Dot. Wakko, who was busy screaming, “Hello, Nurse!” didn’t seem to notice. Yakko felt a tiny pang when he saw his brother’s reaction to the voluptuous blonde. “How could I ever imagine that he’d feel the same way about me as I do about him?” he thought, sulking on the waiting room couch, oblivious to the bemused looks Dot gave him.

Dot gazed at Yakko. He definitely wasn’t himself today. Normally, he’d be talking a mile a minute, planning out exactly how he was going to fracture Scratchansniff’s sanity this week. And if he wasn’t doing that, he’d be happily looking at this month’s (or last year’s, depending on how diligently the magazines were replaced) issue of Toon Times. Today, he just sat there, looking as though he’d just been suckered into a conversation with Pip Pumphandle. Dot wanted to ask what was wrong, but she didn’t want to pry. Besides, she thought, he’ll probably be over it soon and be back to normal.

Dot, who wasn’t interested in any of the magazines, turned to Wakko to find him blowing spit bubbles. “Ew.”

Dot sighed. This was going to be a long wait.

Hello Nurse came out. “Yakko, Dr. Scratchansniff will see you now.”

Yakko dragged himself off the couch and trudged into the office.

-O-o-O-

Dr. Scratchansniff was shielding himself behind his desk, waiting for the inevitable explosion of Yakko entering. Honestly, every time the Warners came within a fifty foot radius of him, insanity and misery were sure to ensue. He couldn’t have one appointment without Yakko making sarcastic comments, Wakko doing something gross, and Dot getting off-topic and leading him on a verbal wild goose chase. A this rate, he was never going to get these kids de-zanitized.

“Vait a minute,” Dr. Scratchansniff thought. Instead of the usual noisy, zany greeting, he was hearing….silence?

The psychiatrist emerged from behind his desk to find Yakko, sitting quietly on the couch in front of him. He didn’t even seem to notice the doctor; he absently traced the wrinkles in the upholstery with his fingers, a pensive expression crossing his visage.

Scratchy had never seen Yakko this quiet. Ever. Even if he wasn’t talking, he’d usually be sitting there, smirking at the trouble that lay in store for the psychiatrist. Yakko didn’t seem to be plotting any kind of chaos; he seemed to be lost in his own world.

Scratchy cleared his throat to get Yakko’s attention. Sure enough, Yakko dragged his eyeballs up to meet Scratchy’s.

“Oh. Hi, Scratchy,” he muttered lethargically, punctuating his speech with a heavy sigh.

“Yakko, you seem to be awfully quiet today. Vhat seems to be zhe problem?” Scratchy asked, expecting Yakko to drop the act and start the chaos any second.

“Nothing.” Yakko mumbled.

Scratchy noted this on his pad of paper. This seemed serious.

“Yakko, if zhere ist a problem, you know you can tell me,” Scratchy said in a gentler tone. “Das ist vas I’m here for.”

“Okay, but I don’t think you’re gonna like it….”

“Try me.”

Yakko took a deep breath. “I think I’m attracted to my brother.”

Scratchy raised an eyebrow. This was new. He’d dealt with patients who had issues with incest, but it was a whole different story now that it was a Warner in the situation.

“You think I’m disgusting, don’t you?”

Scratchy looked up from his notepad. Yakko was staring at him, a hurt expression on his face.

“Nein, nein, I am not here to judge. Now, Yakko, are you sure zhat it is attraction you are feeling tovards Vakko?”

Yakko stared at him. “I. Want. To. Make. Out. With. My. Brother. Yes, I’m positive I’m attracted to Wakko,” Yakko retorted.

“Hmm….” Scratchy wrote on his pad some more. Yakko couldn’t take it anymore.

“You gotta help me, Scratchy! I’ve been hiding it from him all along and it’s eating me up inside! It’s only a matter of time until I slip up and say it or I say it in my sleep! I can’t have my brother thinking I’m some kind of freak!” Yakko jumped on Scratchy’s desk. “Seriously, I’m starting to find his lack of hygiene sexy,” he whispered behind his hand.

“Zhe only zhing I can suggest right now is writing zhese feelings in a journal. I vill have to zhink about zhis some more before going further,” Scratchy answered.

Yakko sighed, relieved. Maybe if he wrote his nasty little thoughts down, he wouldn’t have the urge to yell them from the top of the water tower anymore.

“Thanks, Scratchy! I’ll send Wakko in.” Yakko hopped off the desk and skipped out the door.

Scratchy knew he’d be able to refrain from telling Wakko about Yakko’s feelings for him. However, he still wasn’t exactly looking forward to this appointment. His office hadn’t smelled right since the last one. Plus, he could never get very far in de-zanitizing him because he never said much.

“So, Vakko, is zhere anything you vant to talk about?” Scratchy asked.

“Like what?” Wakko responded.

“Like…. Your relationship vith your siblings.”

“Oh.” Wakko smiled. “It’s fine.”

“Care to elaborate?” Scratchy pressed.

“It’s….really fine?”

Scratchy sighed. “Anything else? How about your day?”

Wakko thought for a while, then perked up. “I actually got up before Yakko! But not before Dot.”

“Go on.”

“And….she got into the bathroom first and took forever. So I didn’t shower.” Wakko grinned. Scratchy rubbed his temples.

Dot’s appointment was a little better. Scratchy got more out of her—maybe more than he wanted.

“So, Dot, vould you like to tell me about your relationship vith your brozers?” Scratchy asked.

“They’re cool most of the time, but sometimes Yakko talks in his sleep, which gets really annoying because he’s always yelling, ‘Hello, Nurse!’ And Wakko can be kinda gross. Like today, he didn’t take a shower—he hasn’t for two weeks now—and he wouldn’t put on his clothes until I threatened to sic a clown on him. Actually, now that I think about it, that was kinda funny.” Dot giggled.

Scratchy looked up in surprise. “He….vouldn’t put on his clothes?”

“Yeah, and it really seemed to freak Yakko out. I don’t know why, though, ‘cause they take baths together and they have the same stuff. Mostly.” Dot shrugged.

Scratchy was furiously writing on his notepad. Dot got bored and started balancing on her tail. She found that she could almost see Scratchy’s notepad.

“Whatcha writing?” she asked.

Scratchy held the pad against his chest. “Notes.”

“Oh. “ Dot got off her tail.

In the end, Scratchy didn’t call them in for a group appointment. Based on his notes, he had a lot to work through before he even made a dent in their zaniness.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: If you lock three volatile cartoon characters in a tower and expect them to stay sane after sixty years, you're playing yourself.

[draconeye45]

More Deltora Quest/Animaniacs (wakko and dot are older in this but still younger than yakko) They've just gotten the Opal.

included a bit of fic writing below the line break for anyone interested :)

"I never want to see another rat as long as I live," Dot said fervently.

The three Warners stood on the lifeless plain. Yakko and Dot were staring at the ruined city, watching the rats as they scampered away from the fire.

It had already consumed the center of the city, and the huge building Reeah had inhabited. There was little doubt that many rats had likely already met the same fate as the dead body of the giant snake.

No one was worried that the fire would reach them. The rats had consumed everything on the plain, leaving not a single blade of grass to burn.

Wakko was the only one not watching the city or the fleeing rats. Instead, he was raptly studying the Opal; it was glowing, sensing the nearby Belt, painting his face in a rainbow of colors.

"You sure you never want to see another rat?" Yakko replied coyly. "They'd probably make an alright meal. I'm sure we could fry one up…it's not too late for me to catch one -"

"Ugh!" Dot growled, wrinkling her nose and glaring at her older brother as he laughed. "Don't you dare pull that on me, Yakko."

Wakko hadn't noticed, his attention still entirely on the Opal. "It's really pretty…"

His words finally drew his sibling's attention away from the burning city.

"And powerful," Yakko held out his hand. After a moment, Wakko handed him the Opal. "Now…it's just got to go in its rightful place."

Reverently, the oldest unclasped the Belt of Deltora from around his waist. He knelt and laid it on the barren, stripped earth of the plain. The silver medallions and the fine chain links shimmered in the distant light of the flames, as they continued to consume the sad, ruined buildings of what had once been the City of the Rats.

Yakko slotted the rainbow gem into the third medallion; it seemed to shine even more brightly than before. The Topaz and the Ruby seemed to flash as well, the Belt as a whole gaining a aura of power; just as it had upon adding the previous two gems.

The three siblings all gazed at the Belt, at the four medallions that remained.

"That's three down," Yakko breathed.

"Four to go," Dot murmured.

"We've gotten this far," Wakko gazed at the Opal, the gem of Hope; the flame of hope within himself seemed to strengthen. "We can do it."

He thought he saw Yakko's and Dot's eyes brightening with fresh hope, too.

[raddest-hat-showdown]

RADDEST HAT SHOWDOWN FULL BRACKET!

Polls for side 4B begin tomorrow, 03/30 at 10am EST. See below for the list of contestants.

Round 1 Side 1A-

Polls starting 10am EST 03/23

Doug Dimmadome vs RGB

Captain Amelia vs Captain Barbosa 

King Julien vs Commander Peepers 

Greg vs Tia Safalin

Ravio vs Jack Noir

Mephisto Pheles vs Carmen Sandiago 

Louise Belcher vs Wander

Ralsei vs Robinhood

Round 1 Side 1B

Polls start 10am EST 03/24

Preceptor Seluvis vs Mami Tomoe

Chess Chocho Cookies vs Papa G

Rennala vs Brain

Jezaille Brett vs Caitlin

Scaramouche vs Cad Bane

Spider Noir vs Fuka Kazamatsuri

Ernesto De La Cruz vs Dandelion

The Good Hunter vs Jotaro

Round 1 Side 2A

Polls start 10am EST 03/25

Mad Hatter vs Lord Yupa

Suika vs Mario and Cappy

Big Hat Logan vs Knuckles

Mizune vs Finn the Human 

Gabdalf vs Apple Jack

Professor Layton vs C.Q. Cumber

Kuzco vs Melia Antiqua

Jin Guangyao vs Trafalgar Law

Round 1 Side 2B 

Polls start 10am EST 03/26

Puss in Boots vs Donald Duck 

Black Hat vs Marx

Midna vs Funky Kong

The Man in the Yellow Hat vs Ice Cap

Niko vs Skullduggery Pleasant 

Dimentio vs Rook Hunt 

Angela Leon vs Merlin

Guinan vs Metallia The Swamp Witch vs Janus Sanders

Round 1 Side 3A

Polls start 10am EST 03/27

La Muerte vs Wild Wheel

Dark Magician Girl vs Chi Chi

Celty Sturluson vs Reginald Copperbottom

Perry the Platypus vs The 11th Doctor

The Captain of the Dead vs R.J. Macready

Luigi vs Cure Miracle Alexandrite 

The Riddler vs Indiana Jones 

Timekeeper Cookie vs Mary Poppins 

Round 1 Side 3B 

Polls start 10am EST 03/28

Rubber Helm vs Smokey the Bear

Stanley Pines vs Rincewind 

Lich King vs Asra Alnazar

Hat kid vs Zora Salazar

Amon vs Snufkin

Ainz Ooal Gown vs Green Arrow

Lady Dimitrescu vs Woody

Jarlaxle Baenre vs Black Pepper

Round 1 Side 4A

Polls start 10am EST 03/29

Captain Hook vs Suwako Moirya

Hat Man vs Luffy

Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen vs The Cat in the Hat

Charon vs Chuya Nakahara

Detective Sokka vs Juvia

Detective Rama vs Pearl

Cerebella vs Wakko

Megumin vs Laszlo Cravensworth

Round 1 Side 4B

Polls start 10am EST 03/30

Link and Ezlo vs Alfredo Linguine

Captain Jack Sparrow vs Vivi Ornitier 

Sir Pentious vs Jughead

The Onceler vs Moist Van Lipwig

Mona Megistis vs Dipper Pines

Robert E.O. Speedwagon vs Stella

Miriel Pastor of Vows vs Ask Ketchum 

Dr. Facillier vs Wirt

MAY THE RADDEST HAT WIN

[janetbrown711]

How do you torment your favs (aka how have you traumatized some of your favourite characters)?

Well, if we're talking broadly here I mostly give them mommy issues, but lets go character by character here for the nitty gritty/true pattern examination

TW for mentions of miscarriages, abusive parents, and just a lot of trauma

Apple White-- Mommy issues, internalized homophobia that she does mostly get over but it doesn't help when a lot of the world is homophobic to her, body image issues, and a possible eating disorder

Darling Charming-- mommy issues, daddy issues, experiences a lot of homophobia and misogyny

Louie Duck-- Just. Just the worst mommy issues. Wants Della to love him so bad but feels like it's literally impossible because of their differences and his "glaring" flaws and selfishness

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot (Long Live the Queen) (idk how to write normal universe whoopsies)-- Abusive grandmother who actively tries to (and nearly accomplishes) murdering their parents making their parents have to abandon them for a year, Yakko has parentification trauma from that, Wakko gets literally starved and locked in a tower on multiple occassions, and Dot feels like it's all her fault whenever Wakko gets hurt because she's supposed to be the perfect princess. It gets fixed but it do be a lot

Lena Warner (my oc from Long Live the Queen)-- Abusive mother who literally attempted to kill her. Wants very badly to be a proper mother to her children and keep them safe, but her mother has far too much control and power over her for that to be truly possible. Had a runaway marriage in her late teens in order to avoid being married off to some old guy. Her mother's murder attempt caused a miscarriage and robbed her of a year with her children while she had to physically recover from her injuries. Ended up killing her in the end though, so that's good.

MK (dadsy of two)-- dead parents that were incredibly abusive (especially his "mother"), a burning desire for closeness to his guardian that he feels he can't access out of fear of attachment + Pigsy's own distant behavior at unpredictable moments. Desperately wants Pigsy to be his dad and nothing hurts more than when Pigsy actively denies it. Craves affection and praise more than anything in the whole wide world but doesn't know how to accept it/how to react when it happens.

Mei (dadsy of two)-- dead parents who gave her severe perfectionism but died before they could ever apologize/acknowledge/realize any damage done. Blames herself for starting the fire because she knocked over an ancestral artifact (that fire was actually fixed, the fire that killed them is unrelated but she'll never believe that). Wants to be the perfect daughter for Pigsy while also not feeling like she's actually his daughter because of the distance + complicated grief related feelings.

Pigsy (dadsy of two)-- tbh what haven't I done to him? Gave him guilt over the death of Sandy's ex fiancee due to "causing" Sandy's trauma that lead to the incident, gave him mommy and even worse daddy issues, deals with fantasy racism on such a regular basis he believes being distant with MK and Mei (ala saying he isn't their father/he's only their legal guardian) is the only way to really protect them from it (and even that backfires on more than one occasion). Internalized fatphobia. PTSD. Smoker. Severe lack of self esteem. Couldn't give less of a shit about himself and his own health (ESPECIALLY mental) while worrying endlessly about everyone else. Just. just so much trauma for one man. what the fuck.

Tang (all fanfics)-- Abusive, severely homophobic parents who cut him off when he was 19 due to finding out about his homosexuality. Could barely afford food for a year until he met Pigsy and basically relied on his charity in order to not starve to death/suffer the effects of severe malnutrition and still continue his education. Loves Pigsy endlessly and hates watching him torture himself over the littlest things (knows he does the same and feels so helpless every time it happens). Wants to be a dad to MK (and Mei) desperately but worries he's nothing compared to Pigsy. Has constantly had his passions belittled and mocked to the point it's genuinely surprising to him that MK actually likes his stories and the way he does things.

Sandy (all fanfics)-- PTSD, guilt over having missed 20+ years of his best friend's life. In Dadsy of Two he killed his fiancee after a nightmare about the war he and Pigsy had fought. Wanted to be a parent but after that accident, he can't trust himself with another human life like that. Has a hard time trying not to be "the therapist friend" and poking where he shouldn't when it comes to his friend's emotional issues (especially Pigsy's). Had just the worst toxic romance with Pigsy ever that was just the hottest of messes before it all fell apart but they tried to be friends (until his fiance's death) (the time away was very much needed for them both to heal and grow so they could actually be good friends again but it still hurts it took that long).

Pigsy (Li Na AU)-- most of the above but even more trauma around fatherhood, only made worse by the fact he had five miscarriages in the past (only three Tang knows about). Buries that pain instead of talking about it and believes that because Li Na is alive and well the pain is gone (it's not. it lives within him in every waking moment and is why he's so fucking terrified at the thought of losing her or MK).

....So yeah! Just--.... Just so much man, damn wtf someone needs to take them away from me I keep hurting them, wtf---

[sambadeamigosgato]

Adding onto this

Animaniacs but it's Ash, Pablo, and Kelly as Yakko, Wakko, and Dot (in that order)

I might make a crossover fic with them meeting

Watching evil dead clips and I saw this comment

...now I wanna make an AU where AOD era Ash meets a kid Kelly and Pablo and takes them under his wing after a giant deadite apocalypse (basically what happened in fistful of boomstick) occurs and he has to not only fight them but take care of these two kids.

My brain is braining meow

[pruechaosbracket]

ROUND 4: Yakko, Wakko, and Dot VS Team Red

About Yakko, Wakko, and Dot: A trio of sibling cartoons who can and very much do break every rule of reality for fun. They had to be locked in a water tower for 60 year but regularly escaped during cleaning, and now can go in and out of the tower as they please. They regularly go back in time to mess with the lives of both famous figures and mythological characters.

About Team Red: A group of five consisting of Sarge, Grif, Simmons, Donut, and Lopez. A list of their exploits includes: Sarge giving Grif Simmons' limbs and then making Simmons a cyborg because he didn't want Grif to be one, Repeatably blowing up their jeep which plays polka music everytime it's driven, Lopez being stuck in Spanish mode and using the fact that none of the team knows Spanish to insult them, Donut taking a grenade to the face and returning with "Lightish Red" armor that he refuses to admit is pink, Sarge getting deemed Super-Colonal just to outrank Grif, Simmons burring Sarge alive to become leader with Sarge actually thinking he's dead because command said so and Red Command is never wrong, Grif's colorblind sister trying to join them but accidentally joining Team Blue instead, and Sarge legally changing his name to Sarge to "Dress for the job he wanted

[cf56]

Headcanons galore!

Wakko is extremely used to having Yakko by his side to explain and guide him through the world. Yakko is kind of the “filter” that Wakko understands everything through.

Wakko is so used to this that he continues to unconsciously do it even when he’s alone. He’ll constantly send pictures of things he sees to Yakko, along with his random thoughts. It’s like a cat presenting a dead mouse to its owner. There’s no purpose behind it. It just feels right for him to do.

Yakko, of course, is happy to entertain the constant stream of texts and help Wakko understand what’s going on around him.

[olddirtybadfic]

Brotherly Love: If There Must Be Mpreg, Warn a Brotha (And Warn a Sista) (Part four of seven)

Warner brothers? More like War-garyen brothers.

Except without the dragons or pseudo-medieval politics.

Part one is here. Part two is here. Part three is here.

DEAD GOODFEATHERS DO NOT EAT

Content Warning: Consensual romantic relationship between two siblings; mpreg; aged-up characters; questionable knowledge of psychology; usage of mid-noughties slang that aged like milk (which Yakko will not be drinking); abortion mention; oh dear gods an author avatar and her avatar's furry friend; a fourth Warner; attempt at writing Scratchansniff’s accent out phonetically; big emotions, including: *extremely Gonzo voice* GUILT and *extremely Septa Unella voice* SHAME SHAME SHAME (ding ding); animane-y, totally insane-y, Dot is slut-shame-y

-O-o-O-o-O-

Yakko was just coming back from getting the newspaper. This entailed annoying Ralph, the security guard, until he balled it up and threw it at Yakko.

He was walking along, tossing the balled-up paper up and down with each step when he noticed Hello Nurse entering the psychiatric building.

“Wait a minute….Dot went to the convention with Hello Nurse,” Yakko thought.

He thought back to how the bathroom door was closed when he walked past—it couldn’t have been Wakko in the bathroom, because he’d just left him in the bedroom. Then it hit Yakko.

Dot was home.

Yakko shoved the paper in his pocket and ran the rest of the way home.

“How long has she been home?” he wondered. “And when did she come in? Oh my god…Did she see us in bed, naked?!”

Yakko flew up the ladder and into the tower.

Everything was quiet. There was no sign of Dot or Wakko in the front room.

Yakko went to the kitchen. They weren’t there either.

The bathroom door was closed and Yakko could hear the sound of a blowdryer from within. That had to be Dot.

Yakko entered the bedroom, where he found Wakko, sitting on his top bunk, crying softly.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Yakko said, scaling the bunks. He reached a hand out to comfort Wakko, but he pulled away. The sobs racked his small body.

“Dot knows,” Wakko sobbed.

Yakko was afraid of that. However, he was still shocked. A tiny part of him still had hope that she hadn’t found out.

“She…knows?” Yakko said, his horror growing each second.

“I don’t know how, but she knows. I thought she was gone for the weekend,” Wakko continued to sob.

“Well….It’s not that bad. At least we don’t have to sneak around anymore,” Yakko said, forcing optimism. “She’ll probably give us lots of space.” Yakko realized the minute he finished speaking that this was the wrong thing to say.

“It’s all my fault. I seduced you into doing this. I’m such a whore.” Wakko hid his face in his pillow.

“Those were Dot’s words, weren’t they?” Yakko thought, suddenly angry at his sister. “No. If I hadn’t told you about my feelings, you wouldn’t have acted the way you did,” Yakko explained, desperately trying to stop his brother’s tears. He reached out a hand to hold Wakko, but Wakko gently pushed it away.

“We can’t,” he said simply.

“We….can’t touch?”

“If we touch, I’ll only be tempted to seduce you again. I’ll just ruin you.”

“I’m already ruined, and none of it is your fault,” Yakko started.

“Yes, it is!” Wakko snapped. “Please, just….Let’s not touch each other anymore,” he whispered, his voice cracking.

“Okay.” Yakko had to comply, but on the inside, he was fuming at Dot.

-O-o-O-

He caught Dot coming out of the bathroom. Dot only stopped to glare at him for a few seconds, then stomped away. Yakko grabbed her by the shoulder before she could disappear down the hall.

“Shouldn’t you and your brother be heading out to a shack in the woods now?” she spat, trying to shake Yakko off.

“Dot, we have to talk,” Yakko stated firmly. “And besides, he’s your brother, too.”

“Not after what he did with you, he’s not. I don’t even know that boy,” Dot hissed.

“Well, we still need to talk.” Yakko refused to give up. Even if it took him all night, he’d get Dot to apologize for yelling at Wakko.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Are you shiggity-sure about that?” Yakko leaned in close to Dot.

Dot crossed her arms and glared at a point off to the side for a few seconds. Then she sighed angrily and turned her glare on Yakko. “Y’know, I’d expected better from you.”

“Pardon?” Yakko raised a non-existent eyebrow.

“For god’s sake, Yakko, you know what people think of incest. You understand how gross it is to be attracted to your blood relatives. You know better than to try to seduce your brother!” Dot scolded.

“And Wakko doesn’t?” Yakko found his anger rising again.

“Yakko, I don’t think Wakko even knows what galaxy we live in. I seriously doubt he could grasp such a complex issue as incest.”

Yakko couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Did she seriously think Wakko was stupid?

“But that’s not the point. If he started making advances on you, why didn’t you stop him? If you understood what would happen if you went too far, why didn’t you do something?”

“Maybe I didn’t want to!” Yakko said sharply. “Maybe I enjoyed it! Yes, you heard correctly. I enjoyed it!”

Dot’s glare dropped and was replaced by an expression of pure horror. “What….How could you?!”

“How could I? Maybe because I love Wakko! Not in that way, in that way. It was all me; I told him I loved him and he was just reacting to it. Did you get that? I made the first move. It was my fault.”

“Oh my god….” Dot’s expression was now one of disgust rather than horror.

“And because I love Wakko, I don’t appreciate you putting him down like that. He may not seem it to you, but he is just as smart as either of us and is perfectly capable of understanding incest. Do you know that he’s the one who thought to hide it from you so we wouldn’t get caught? Did you ever think that just maybe he might be hurt by you calling him a whore? Did you ever think that maybe he might have regrets over the whole thing? I’m sure you didn’t because you don’t know shit about our brother!” Yakko yelled.

They were right outside the bedroom door, but he didn’t care. if he couldn’t touch Wakko, he could find other ways to show his love.

“Well, after that little rant, I do know something about both of you. You’re both perverts and I want nothing to do with you. I’m going to stay with Hello Nurse.” With that, she wrenched herself away from Yakko and stomped off to pack her things.

-O-o-O-

Yakko’s first instinct was to grab Dot again, sit her down, and give her a long talk about this whole thing. His second instinct was to give her a good slap.

It was his third instinct, the one that told him to walk away, that won. He set off towards the bathroom to take a nice hot shower to relax his nerves. Or maybe a nice cold shower to relax his….other muscles.

As he was walking, the closet door next to the bathroom suddenly opened and Yakko was pulled inside.

Yakko groped around, trying to get his bearings, until a flashlight turned on. He looked towards the source of light and saw Wakko, sitting behind a box. Immediately, Wakko threw himself at Yakko.

“I couldn’t take it anymore,” Wakko said softly, pressing himself against Yakko. A few seconds later, Yakko could feel Wakko’s tears wetting his fur.

“It’s okay now. I’m not against continuing this,” he soothed, stroking Wakko’s ears. “We’ll find some way to work it out.”

“How can you be so sure?” Wakko stared up at Yakko with teary black eyes.

“I’m the oldest brother. It’s what I do,” Yakko responded. He looked around. “Since when do we have a closet here?”

Wakko sniffled. “Since now.”

“All righty then.” Yakko went back to holding Wakko.

The door swung open and they were met with a very disturbed and angry Dot.

“You two are seriously fucked up and not in the good way,” she hissed before stomping away.

Wakko turned away from Yakko, curled into a little ball, and continued to cry.

“Wakko…” Yakko reached out for his brother, but Wakko pulled away.

Yakko didn’t care; he pulled Wakko towards him in a warm embrace. This time, Wakko didn’t resist as Yakko half cradled him in his arms, half held him in his lap.

“Don’t worry. Everything’ll work out,” Yakko soothed. “Somehow.”

-O-o-O-

By the next morning, Dot had packed up and spent the better part of the early morning at Hello Nurse’s house.

Yakko and Wakko spent the night in Yakko’s bunk. It would have been too weird, being in their own bunks, knowing that Dot wasn’t sleeping between them. Sure she’d been away at night earlier that week, but they'd known she would come back. Now, they weren’t so sure she’d ever want to talk to them again.

Wakko fell asleep quickly, having worn himself out with the crying. However, Yakko lay in bed, awake, until at least 3:00AM.

“Is what we’re doing really so wrong? I mean, society says it’s wrong, but society says that premarital sex is wrong, and people do that anyway. There are so many people out there who don’t love each other the way Wakko and I do, and they have sex and go through the motions of being in love, even to the point where they’ll get married! And we’re not hurting anyone so what’s wrong with it?” Yakko pondered.

In a flash, it came to Yakko. He knew who could help them.

He ran to the phone to leave a message on Dr. Scratchansniff’s answering machine.

-O-o-O-

The next morning, Yakko somehow managed to wake up at 8:00AM. He was about to roll over and go back to sleep when he realized something was missing.

Wakko wasn’t in bed with him.

Yakko sat up, worried. What if Wakko had run off? What if he decided it was best for them to not even live together? What if he went to go get Dot?

“Dot was pretty pissed off at us,” Yakko thought. “Who knows what she’s capable of doing to Wakko?”

Yakko sprang out of bed and through the bedroom doorway. As he was walking down the hall, he heard a sniffle coming from within the bathroom.

The door was open a crack so Yakko could see Wakko, kneeling over the toilet, his body heaving. A few seconds later, he began to vomit into the toilet.

Yakko pushed the door open and quietly entered. “You okay in here?” he asked, just before Wakko started vomiting again.

“I’m fine now, I think,” Wakko responded, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “It was probably just something I ate. That green cheese in the back of the fridge did look a bit dodgy.”

Yakko gave Wakko a sideways look. He’d seen Wakko eat worse things (like gum from under a theater seat), and he’d been perfectly fine afterwards.

“Are you sure you’re not coming down with something?” Yakko asked, putting a hand on his brother’s forehead. No sign of a fever.

“I’m sure. I’ll be fine in a few minutes.” Wakko closed the toilet lid.

“Would you be up to a visit with Scratchy, then?”

Wakko perked up. “What are we gonna do to him this time?”

“Slow down, Wakko.” Yakko put his hands on Wakko’s shoulders to calm him. “We won’t be doing anything like that this time. Scratchy’s going to help us get Dot back, and he’s been helping me since before I told you about my feelings for you, so we should take it easy on him. Besides, I don’t want you to overexert yourself and start getting sick again.”

“Yakko, I’m fine. But I’ll be good.” A little halo appeared over Wakko’s head.

The brothers had an early appointment at around 9:00, so they had to leave shortly.

Yakko was beginning to have second thoughts about scheduling the appointment so early. He hadn’t gotten a full night of sleep, but he was fine. It was Wakko that he was worried about. He didn’t think his brother was as “fine” as he said he was. He’d seen Wakko run to the bathroom a couple more times. He’d said that he “just had to go really badly,” but when Wakko told him he’d pass on having breakfast, Yakko knew something wasn’t right.

It was around 8:30 when Yakko was fully convinced that Wakko was a little more than under the weather. He’d had to wake his brother up after he’d fallen asleep—while standing at the front door.

It was too late to cancel and reschedule the appointment. Besides, they needed help now. The sooner they got Dot back, the better.

Still, he couldn’t have Wakko climbing down the ladder in such a condition. Yakko conjured up an elevator and the two rode down without difficulty.

By the time they got to the psychiatry building, Wakko was leaning weakly against Yakko. From his glassy-eyed expression, Yakko could tell Wakko was just barely aware that they had arrived.

They took a seat on the couch in the waiting room, instead of their usual chairs. It would be too weird, sitting in those chairs without Dot, and the couch would definitely be more comfortable right now.

For once in his life, Yakko actually sat quietly in the waiting room. This was because the minute they sat on the couch, Wakko fell asleep.

Yakko gazed down at him. Although he was sleeping, Wakko’s expression was anything but peaceful. Yakko could see tiny beads of sweat on the tense face.

Yakko was just as tense about the whole situation as Wakko; he just didn’t show it as much. If he freaked out, Wakko would freak out more than usual, and there had to be at least one rational person around. Usually that would be Dot, if both of the brothers were incapacitated, but of course she wasn’t speaking to them.

“If Scratchy can’t help us, nobody can,” Yakko thought, almost ready to just throw in the towel. Clearly, his feelings for Wakko weren’t going to change. Dot was pretty set in her ways, so she wasn’t going to suddenly start liking their relationship. If they really couldn’t get Dot back, then to hell with it.

Not that Yakko wanted to live without his sister. He just realized that sometimes you had to know when to quit.

Looking down at Wakko again made Yakko realize he couldn’t quit. If they couldn’t get Dot to even speak to them, Wakko would continue to blame himself for the whole thing. Yakko realized that it was probably nobody’s fault, but carrying this kind of emotional burden could seriously harm a person—and it would be made doubly heavy, considering how emotional Wakko could get. Would he start punishing himself? To what extent?

“No,” Yakko thought. “We’re gonna get Dot back, whether she likes it or not.”

Just then, Hello Nurse came into the waiting room. “Dr. Scratchansniff is ready to see you now,” she announced.

In his office, Scratchy began to mentally prepare himself for the visit. Sure, the Warners seemed to be backing off on the zaniness lately, and Dot wasn’t with them this time, but the brothers could be pretty boisterous on their own. In fact, they might be even zanier as Dot was sometimes the force that curbed their insanity.

So Scratchy was more than a little surprised to see Yakko walk in quietly, supporting a sleepy-looking Wakko. He watched as the brothers climbed onto the couch and settled in, Wakko leaning heavily on Yakko. Yakko slid his arm around his little brother, then looked up at the psychiatrist.

“He’s not feeling very well,” Yakko explained.

“I see,” Scratchy responded, examining the glazed-over look in Wakko’s eyes. “Are you sure you don’t vant to reschedule?”

“I’m fine. Really,” Wakko insisted, his voice quiet.

“All right.” Sratchy sat back down in the chair in front of the couch. “So if you don’t mind my asking, vhy is Dot not vith you?”

“That’s what we needed to talk to you about,” Yakko answered, looking a little pained. “You know how I told you about my feelings for Wakko?”

“Ja?”

“And you told me to write them down?”

“Ja?”

“Well, I did, and it helped. For a while. Then my feelings started to get stronger, and well….”

“Here we are,” Wakko concluded, cuddling up to Yakko.

“Here you are? Vhat do you mean, ‘here?’” Scratchy was confused.

The brothers realized they’d skipped a lot of vital points. It wasn’t that obvious that they loved each other in a romantic way based on their actions right now.

“I told Wakko that I loved him, fully expecting him to be disgusted and hate me,” Yakko started.

“But then I told Yakko I loved him back,” Wakko continued.

“So we were all happy and in love until Dot found out. She yelled at Wakko, called him a whore—”

“Among other things,” Wakko interjected.

“And then she verbally ripped me a new one. Then she said she wanted nothing to do with us, and left.”

“And here we are,” Wakko finished.

Scratchy was shocked. Not by Yakko and Wakko’s incestuous relationship, but by Dot’s reaction. He never thought he’d see the day the Warner trio broke up. He’d thought nothing could get in the way of their bond. Plainly, he’d been wrong. Now, sanity be damned, he needed to fix it.

They continued to discuss the details of the past few days until the timer beeped. Their hour was up.

“Vhat I think you should do is come in for a group appointment, maybe a few days from now, ja? Dot is staying vith the Nurse right now, but maybe you should take a short break from each ozher before confronting her.”

Yakko perked up. Yes! That was exactly what he needed. He was only likely to yell at Dot right now, which wouldn’t help them make amends any faster. He wondered why he hadn’t thought of it himself. And Wakko….Well, if Dot was still angry at him, he didn’t seem to be in any condition to take her on right now.

Yakko scheduled an appointment for two days from the present one.

-O-o-O-

The brothers arrived home shortly after 10:15. Tiredness finally kicked in, prompting Yakko to go back to bed until noon.

Wakko tried very hard to cuddle up to Yakko and do the same, but his body wouldn’t let him. Running to the bathroom to toss his cookies was really getting annoying, especially since he hadn’t even gotten to eat yet.

As he was wiping his mouth for what felt like the 785th time that morning, he noticed his gag bag behind the toilet. He also noticed that something was nearly falling out of it.

Wakko picked up the something, which was a small box with the words, “Mistake-Free Test” written on it. He recognized it as the pregnancy test from that commercial that only came on late at night; it was the one with the stream hitting the little plastic stick. He snickered inwardly. He never knew what would come out of the gag bag, did he?

Then Wakko’s thoughts came to a screeching halt. Usually, he pulled things out of the gag bag because he instinctively knew he needed them. Sometimes he didn’t know what exactly he needed, but just reached in and got the perfect tool for the situation.

The next few thoughts came slowly, but surely. He always pulled what he needed from the gag bag. He’d just pulled out a pregnancy test. A few days ago, he and Yakko did the dirty. Toon gestation was very different from human gestation….

Almost without thinking, Wakko sat on the toilet, pulled out the plastic stick, and peed on it. Then he waited the obligatory one minute for the results. While he was waiting, he read the instructions. Blue meant negative, pink meant positive.

Wakko checked his watch (which magically appeared on his wrist). Only twenty seconds had gone by. It was only a minute, yet it was taking a week.

Wakko alternated staring at his watch and staring at the stick. The last second of the minute ticked away. The result screen was still blue. Wakko’s heart soared.

Then it hit the ceiling and came plummeting back to earth as the screen suddenly turned from blue to pink.

Wakko snatched up the box. “Works in….one minute and one second?!” he read. “What the hell kind of random waiting time is that?!”

In the bedroom, Yakko couldn’t sleep. Despite his outward behavior, he really didn’t hold out much hope for getting Dot back. Sure, Scratchy was a good psychiatrist, but this whole incest thing was too big to be solved. Yakko couldn’t get rid of his feelings for Wakko using his journal, and Dot would never approve of their relationship. But what the hell, he’d give it a try. What did they have to lose?

Yakko finally realized that he wasn’t going back to sleep. He was too wired. So he decided to go in the bathroom and splash water on his face. Then maybe he’d stare intensely at his reflection while piano music played, possibly with a spinning effect.

When he got to the bathroom, the door was mostly closed, but through a tiny crack, he could see Wakko sitting in front of the toilet.

“Wakko?” Yakko called softly. Wakko didn’t answer. He seemed to have not even heard Yakko.

Yakko pushed open the bathroom door, fearing his brother was hurt, or even worse, that he’d hurt himself on purpose. “Wakko, are you okay?” he asked.

Wakko was sitting on the floor in front of the toilet, staring at something in he held in his hands. As Yakko came closer, he walked around in front of Wakko to see what he was holding, then stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what it was.

It was a pregnancy test.

Thinking fast, Yakko saw the instructions sitting on the counter, snatched them up, and started to speed-read them until Wakko spoke.

“It’s positive.”

Yakko turned around, absolutely speechless. Personally, he didn’t like these times when he could think of absolutely nothing to say and he didn’t like that they were becoming more common.

Then Wakko turned to look up at him with an utterly destroyed look on his face and the words came rushing back.

“Oh my god….I can’t believe I did this to you….It’s mine isn’t? Of course it is, you’ve never done that with anybody else. Oh god, I never wanted to hurt you. This is all my fault. What have I done? I never meant for you to go through all this. Oh god, what about Dot! She’s going to find out about it sooner or later. She’ll never approve. What have I done to you….”

To Wakko’s complete surprise, Yakko broke down and began to cry. Yakko had always tried to be the strong, fearless older brother, never letting anything bother him, always the optimist. And most importantly, he never cried. Now, he was curled up in the fetal position, bawling his eyes out. Wakko knew exactly what his brother needed and it wasn’t in the gag bag.

Yakko suddenly looked up to see Wakko walking towards him and putting his arms around him.

“Let me be the strong brother this time,” Wakko whispered.

Yakko succumbed to the embrace. His tears subsided slightly as Wakko quietly comforted him, assuring, “Everything’s going to be all right.”

-O-o-O-

The next day, they went to their group appointment and it went horribly. Dot showed up, no less angry about the situation. They had started to talk about the whole thing, until Yakko said that Dot had to know about a recent discovery.

The minute Wakko told Dot he was pregnant and it was Yakko’s child, any chance they had of getting Dot to move back in hurled itself out the window. She instantly went into “destroy Wakko mode,” calling him a “filthy strumpet” and then yelling at Yakko for being a “disgusting pervert.” Then she yelled about how Wakko should abort the fetus because no child deserved to have the disgrace of having such perverts for parents. Wakko ran crying into the inner office, while Yakko shouted Dot down for saying such horrible things. Soon, blows were exchanged and Scratchy had to pull Yakko and Dot off of each other while Hello Nurse comforted a wailing Wakko.

In the end, Dot refused to ever speak to her brothers again. A week later, she packed up her things and left Hello Nurse’s house for Domino City—located on the east coast of the United States, a whole continent’s width from Burbank.

Five years later, Yakko looked across the water tower at Wakko playing with their son, Zakko. He was a very healthy, happy child, especially since the nature of his parentage was kept a secret from him. Both brothers decided that until Zakko was old enough to understand, he was better off not knowing. They didn’t want to scar his little brain and make him feel like it was his fault Dot left, because it wasn’t. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.

Yakko gazed admiringly at Zakko. He was an adorable little pup; he looked just like Wakko, but he’d clearly inherited Yakko’s personality. He’d been talking since he was little more than a year old and he could always think of something funny to say. But sometimes, when he was lost in thought or asleep, his tongue would slip out of the corner of his mouth and he’d look even more like a mini-Wakko.

Then, if Zakko struck a cute pose after saying something particularly funny, he remind Yakko of Dot.

Yakko had to wonder how Dot was doing. Was she faring as well as he, Wakko, and Zakko were? Was she happy? Would they ever see her again? Would she change her mind if she could see how wonderful her nephew was?

Zakko came to sit on the couch and watch TV while Wakko went to check on dinner. Yakko had noticed that Wakko had changed significantly since Zakko was born. Sure he was still wacky, but not as much as he’d been before. He’d toned down the gross behavior as well, and seemed overall more mature. The only things that hadn’t changed was the fact that he kept his gag bag and he still wore his cap.

Yakko had changed, too. He was still talkative, but he greatly toned down the amount of off-color jokes he made. He’d also put his talents to use teaching Zakko the countries of the world, but of course, he had to update his song a little. And he and Zakko could talk for hours on end, while Wakko added to the conversation from time to time.

He’d also started wearing a shirt, but that was really not a big deal.

During a commercial break, Zakko went to go set the table. As he was going back into the living room, he noticed a picture hanging on the wall by the doorway. It was a peculiar picture. He figured it was from when his father and uncle were younger. Actually, they didn’t look too different from the way they did in the photo, so that was why he could recognize them.

In the photograph, three kids were posing. Yakko, on the left seemed to have a knowing smile on his face, like he’d just figured out something really funny. He had one hand in the pocket of his slacks, which were still too big for him. In the middle was Wakko, in his blue sweatshirt and red cap. He had a blissful expression on his face, his tongue dangling from the corner of his mouth. He held a humongous mallet behind his back.

The third kid, a girl, puzzled Zakko to no end. She resembled Dad and Uncle Yakko, but he’d never seen her before. In fact, he’d never even heard Wakko or Yakko mention a female Warner.

Yakko noticed Zakko looking at the picture and had to sigh. He’d tell him about Dot one day, he swore. But he just wasn’t ready right now.

“Uncle Yakko, who’s that girl with you and Dad?” Zakko finally asked.

Yakko gazed at the picture a few seconds longer before answering, “Someone we knew a very long time ago.”

The End

“Wait, wait, WAIT!”

In a white void, a tiny mammoth was yelling. The mammoth sat next to a teenaged girl, sitting cross-legged. The girl held a clipboard with a stack of filler paper and almost too-short-to-use pencil, which she’d dropped when the mammoth started yelling.

The mammoth, whose name was Hrothella, stood up, her hands on her hips. “You cannot end the story like that!”

The girl (whom we will call Fae), having recovered from the (very) slight surprise of the mammoth yelling, was unaffected. “And why not?” she responded dryly.

“Because it’s terrible! Sure, it’s written okay, but it’s the most depressing thing I’ve seen since I read Les Miserables!” Hrothella answered. “The Warner siblings break up forever? What kind of ending is that?”

“Uh….An emotionally moving ending?”

“Yes, but a really, really sad one!” Hrothella continued.

“So what’s your point?”

Hrothella sighed, exasperatedly. Humans could be so dense. “My point is that, yes, it’s okay to throw in a sad ending to a story here and there, but not in an Animaniacs fanfic! The Animaniacs are all about fun and zaniness—not this drama-soaked, so-soapy-you-could-wash-dishes-with-it depress-fest you just wrote! It has to be funny, wacky, happy!”

Fae raised an eyebrow. “So you want ‘zany?’”

“Yes!”

“Happy?” The eyebrow twitched.

“Yes!”

“Wacky?” The mouth twitched.

“Hells, yeah!” Hrothella jumped a foot off the bed, then noticed the crazy grin on Fae’s face. “Wait…What are you doing? What are you writing? Hey, don’t you ignore me, Missy! You’d better not cut me off with the next chapter—”

-O-o-O-o-O-

And the moral of today’s story is: Never go full Targaryen.

[daniarts19]

Characters in my LGBT headcanons

I just putting this because I can’t open my old account because of my google account being hacked,

Lesbian: Catra (She-Ra), Namaari, (Raya and the Last Dragon), Ivy (Carmen Sandiego 2019), Amity (The Owl House), Spinel (Steven Universe), Cassandra (Tangled), Andrea (The Ghost and Molly McGee), Mary (Total Drama), Apple White (Ever After High), Sammy (Camp Cretaceous), Alex (Dragons the Nine Realms) , Julia (Total Drama)

Gay: Ryan Akagi (Infinity Train), Shiro (Voltron), Benson (Kipo), Ryan (The Wild; my version of Ryan), Logs (Dead End), Bia Zao (Kung Fu Panda legend of Awesome; rewritten), Raj (Total Drama), Aristotle (Billie Bust Up), Diazo (Strange World), Bowie (Total Drama)

Bi: Frey Holland (Forspoken), Lapis (Steven Universe), Owen (Total Drama), Min-Gi (Infinity Train), Carmen Sandiego, Marcy (Amphibia) Luz (The Owl House), Alberto (Luca), Bodi (Rock Dog), Mirabel (Encantó), Jun (Dragons and the Nine Realms), Luisa (Encanto), Krel (3 Below), Edric (The Owl House), Moxxie (Helluva Boss), Tulip Olsen (Infinity Train), Lance McClain (Voltron), Raya (Raya and the Last Dragon), Naomi (Elena of Avalor), Lena (Ducktales), Savannah (Ron’s Gone Wrong), Viper (Kung Fu Panda), Mr. Snake (The Bad Guys), Priya (Turning Red), Eda (The Owl House), Tyler (Turning Red), Lil'Foxy/Francine (Rock Dog), Chizu (Samurai Rabbit), Kitsune (Samurai Rabbit) , Sasha (Amphibia), Ethan (Strange World; respect that opinion), Norma (Dead End), Priya (Total Drama), Hunter (The Owl House), Naida (Lego Elves), Lucy Santana (Daniel Spellbound), Peng (Kung Fu Panda Legend of Awesome; rewriten), Wakko (Animaniacs), Yaz (Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous), Millie (Total Drama), Star (Star vs the Forces of Evil), Ellody (Total Drama), Mermista (She-Ra), Lily Lightly (MLP G3 My version), Raven Queen (EAH), Abe (Clone High), Soleil (Fright Krewe), Hal (Wish), Starlight Glimmer (MLP), Axel (Total Drama), Frida (Clone High), Marianne (Strange Magic; my version ), Floyd (Trolls), Connor (Ruby Gillman Teenage Kraken)

Ace: Twilight Sparkle (My Little Pony; Biromantic), Mantis (Kung Fu Panda; panromantic), Mr. Peabody (heteroromantic), Hans (Frozen; heteromantic), Libby (The Ghost and Molly McGee; biromantic), Ms. Tarantula (The Bad Guys; panromantic), Anne (Amphibia; panromantic), Ezekiel (Total Drama; heteromantic), Luca (heteromantic), Lilith Clawthorne (The Owl House House; Aroace), Po (KFP), Abby (Turning Red; Panromantic), Angus (Rock Dog; Heteroromantic) Lauren/Scary Girl (Total Drama; Aroace), Peridot (SU; Aroace), Sierra (TD; Aroace), Douxie (Tales of Acardia; Biromantic), Byx (Endling; Panromantic), Jay Snake (Descendants; Demiromantic), Octavia (Helluva Boss; Biromantic), Elian (Spellbound; Biromantic)

Pan: Adora (She-Ra), Kipo (Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeast), Sam (Green Eggs and Ham), Jo (Kid Cosmic), M.T/Lake (Infinity Train), Wander (Wander Over Yonder), Camilo (Encanto), Molly McGee (The Ghost and Molly McGee), Val Little (Monsters at Work), Blitzo (Helluva Boss), BeetleJuice, Emira (The Owl House), Rider (Centaurworld), Nooshy (Sing 2), Yuichi Usagi (Samurai Rabbit), Zack (Carmen Sandiego), Willow (The Owl House), Casey (Moongirl and Devil Dinosaur), Kitty (Total Drama), Wandering Blade (The Dragon Knight), Valor (Bravelands; my version), Briar Beauty (EAH; my version), Cheng Lonnie (Descendants; my version), Tom (SVTFOE), MK (Total Drama), Ruby Gillman

Queer: Katie (The Mitchells vs the Machines), Stolas (Helluva Boss), Honeymaren (Frozen), Vi (Arcane; into being lesbian) Caitlyn (Arcane; possibly Bi)

Trans: Barney (Deadend; also gay)

Non-Binary: Thunder (Nine Realms; Pronouns as He/Him), Nari (Tales of Acardia: Pronouns as She/Her), Raine Whispers (THO), The Collector (THO; Pronouns as He/Him), Asher (Kipo), Billie (Billie Bust Up; pronouns as she/they and her/them)

Demi:, Tin Tin (Heteromantic) Doom (The Bad Guys Books; biromantic), Vee (Panromantic) Aira (Lego Elves; biromantic), DJ (Total Drama; heteromantic)

Well I hope you like this. (Please don’t send rude comments, just respect this).

[crossovershipstournament]

Crossover Ships Tournament Contestants

Alright, after putting it off for a bit (due to real life being busy and also I got lazy), I’ve finally gone through and prepared the list of ships for the tournament! Congrats to the lucky 64, and apologies to anyone else whose ship didn’t make it in. I did appreciate every single entry that followed the rules, though, and all the infodumps made me smile!

Before the list, however, I wanna say that this post and the eventual bracket matchup post are going to double as places to post your propaganda via replies and reblogs (or even asks). Going forward, I will use whatever propaganda people add to the posts/send via asks with permission to add as propaganda on the eventual bracket matches. By adding any sort of replies/tags/etc to any further tournament-related posts, you are consenting to having that propaganda added into the tournament. If you are uncomfortable with this, please state it outright on any posts/asks you might send.

Also the rule about fanart for the ships still remains; if you send/provide fanart, please also provide explicit permission from the original artist or proof that you made it yourself. Otherwise, I will not feel comfortable using it in the tournament.

With all that said, let’s meet our 64 ships for the tournament! Please let me know if anything is misspelled or any information is incorrect:

Bayonetta (Bayonetta)/Palutena (Kid Icarus)

Beastman (Masters of the Universe)/Lifeweaver (Overwatch 2)

Ben Tennyson (Ben 10)/Rex Salazar (Generator Rex)

Chibiusa (Sailor Moon)/Kid Trunks Briefs (Dragon Ball Z)

Damian Wayne (DC Comics)/Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miraculous Ladybug)

Dib Membrane (Invader Zim)/Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)

Dimentio (Super Paper Mario)/Jevil (Deltarune)

Ash Williams (Evil Dead)/Crawford Tillinghast (From Beyond)

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (How To Train Your Dragon)/Jack Frost (Rise of the Guardians)

Isabelle (Animal Crossing)/Wolf O’Donnell (StarFox)

Jake Long (American Dragon: Jake Long)/Juniper Lee (The Life and Times of Juniper Lee)

JD (Heathers the Musical)/Nathan Prescott (Life is Strange)

Jigglypuff (Pokemon)/Kirby (Kirby)

Johnny Bravo (Johnny Bravo)/Samurai Jack (Samurai Jack)

Leonardo Hamato (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)/Yuichi Usagi (Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles)

Michelangelo Hamato (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)/Miles Morales (Marvel)

Reagan Ridley (Inside Job)/Toriel Dreemur (Undertale)

Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera (Ducktales 2017)/Clover Ebi (RWBY)

Gyro Gearloose (Ducktales 2017)/Hazel Rainart (RWBY)

Gandra Dee (Ducktales 2017)/Winter Schnee (RWBY)

Dewey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Whitley Schnee (RWBY)

Mogar (Xray and Vav)/David (Camp Camp)

Jimmy Neutron (Jimmy Neutron)/Timmy Turner (Fairly Oddparents)

Jane Porter (Tarzan)/Captain Amelia (Treasure Planet)

Max Goof (Disney)/Yakko Warner (Animaniacs)

Huey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Wakko Warner (Animaniacs)

Dewey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Silver the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Wirt (Over the Garden Wall)/Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)

Webby Vanderquack (Ducktales 2017)/Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls)

Max (Camp Camp)/Phineas Flynn (Phineas and Ferb)

Sora (Kingdom Hearts)/Jim Hawkins (Treasure Planet)

Angus McDonald (The Adventure Zone)/Shigeo Kageyama (Mob) (Mob Psycho 100)

Anne Boonchuy (Amphibia)/Nepeta Leijon (Homestuck)

Applejack (My Little Pony)/Hol Horse (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders)

Aqua (Kingdom Hearts)/Cinderella (Cinderella)

Commander Peepers (Wander Over Yonder)/Wilt Michaels (Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends)

Ditzy Doo (My Little Pony)/The Doctor (Doctor Who)

Jiminy Cricket (Pinocchio)/Timothy Q. Mouse (Dumbo)

Sam Winchester (Supernatural)/Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds)

Bowser (Super Mario)/Dr. Eggman (Sonic)

Kokichi Ouma (Danganronpa)/Venti (Genshin Impact)

Charlie Bradbury (Supernatural)/Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

Alex Mercer (Prototype)/Desmond Miles (Assassin’s Creed)

Adrien Agreste aka Chat Noir (Miraculous Ladybug)/Berry Shirayuki aka Mew Berry (Tokyo Mew Mew)

Pinkie Pie (My Little Pony)/Shockwave (Transformers Prime)

Floyd Leech (Twisted Wonderland)/Kanata Shinkai (Ensemble Stars)

Skales (Lego Ninjago)/Starscream (Transformers Prime)

Selina Kyle aka Catwoman (DC Comics)/Loki (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Phone Guy (Five Nights at Freddy’s)/Wally Franks (Bendy and the Ink Machine)

Megaman (Megaman)/Pit (Kid Icarus)

Merida (Brave)/Rapunzel (Tangled)

Ange Ushiromiya (Umineko no Naku Koro Ni)/Rin Tohsaka (Fate/Stay Night)

Bendy (Bendy and the Ink Machine)/Cuphead (Cuphead)

Luca Paguro (Luca)/Maisie Brumble (The Sea Beast)

Princess Peach (Super Mario)/Samus Aran (Metroid)

Blossom Utonium (Powerpuff Girls)/Dexter (Dexter’s Laboratory)

Daffy Duck (Looney Toons)/Donald Duck (Disney)

Kefer (Egyxos)/Dragon Shiryu (Knights of the Zodiac)

Gaz Membrane (Invader Zim)/Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls)

Gregor (Star Wars the Clone Wars)/Harley Quinn (DC Comics)

Sally “Thorn” McKnight (Scooby Doo Franchise)/Skwisgaar Skwigelf (Metalocalypse)

Astro Tenma (Astro Boy (2009))/Wilbur Robinson (Meet The Robinsons)

Apollo (Percy Jackson)/Clark Kent aka Superman (Superman)

Madoka Kaname (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)/Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

The 90s Song Ever - Round 1 Results

Hello y'all it's me again!! We have collectively suffered through the first month of this tournament, slicing the 256-song bracket clean in half and experiencing tremendous pain. Unfortunately it is late now and I'm sleepy, so the anticipated start of Round 2 is postponed til tomorrow - keep your eyes peeled for polls! Until then... good night.

Expand to see the results of Round 1! Songs in green will be moving onto the next stage, songs in red have been banished to the shadow realm.

Side A1

Midlife Crisis vs When You Sleep Emotions vs Barbie Girl Sugar Kane vs Firestarter More Than Words vs Born Slippy Sabotage vs Wonderwall November Rain vs I Want It That Way Losing My Religion vs Kiss Of Life Stratford-On-Guy vs Grace, Too Shitlist vs Freak On A Leash Blue (Da Ba Dee) vs Doll Parts Peaches vs Bulls On Parade All Star vs Flagpole Sitta Push It vs The Distance I Could Fall In Love vs Blue Monday Two Princes vs Bitch End of the Road vs The Private Psychedelic Reel Sour Times vs Sober 1979 vs Constant Craving Now That We Found Love vs Sunburn Loverman vs Wakko's America Around The World vs Lightning Crashes Believe vs Nothing Compares 2 U Pepper vs Windowlicker Fly vs Law & Order Theme Black Hole Sun vs Sex and Candy Animal Nitrate vs Unfinished Sympathy No Rain vs The Rain Free Your Mind vs My Heart Will Go On Du Hast vs The X-Files Theme C'est la Vie vs Fear Of The Dark Supersonic vs Deceptacon Running in the 90s vs The Tourist

Side A2

Beetlebum vs Are You That Somebody Sway vs River Of Deceit Hunger Strike vs Who Will Save Your Soul? Generator vs Bills, Bills, Bills Doo Wop (That Thing) vs Finally Tearin' Up My Heart vs Silence Kid Enter Sandman vs Everybody (Backstreet's Back) Boombastic vs I'll Be There For You Yakko's World vs To Be With You Cotton Eye Joe vs Amish Paradise Nuthin' But A "G" Thang vs Basket Case Dagger vs Seven Rebel Girl vs Groove is in the Heart Baby Got Back vs Hallelujah Only Happy When It Rains vs Say You'll Be There U Can't Touch This vs How Bizarre Nancy Boy vs Cornflake Girl Affirmation vs Don't Walk Away The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air vs The Boy Is Mine Scatman (Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Dop) vs Juicy Buddy Holly vs Closing Time Pony vs Wynona's Big Brown Beaver Pretend We're Dead vs All I Wanna Do Santeria vs Send Me On My Way Birdhouse In Your Soul vs That Don't Impress Me Much Vogue vs Brain Stew/Jaded Kiss Me vs These Are Days MMMBop vs Black Genie In A Bottle vs Bullet With Butterfly Wings Tank! (Cowboy Bebop opening theme) vs Smells Like Nirvana Mind Playing Tricks On Me vs (Everything I Do) I Do It For You Friday I'm In Love vs Would?

Side B1

Everlong vs Only Wanna Be With You California Love vs Fall At Your Feet Glory Box vs Man In The Box Livin' la Vida Loca vs Are You Gonna Go My Way What's Up vs If Only Personal Jesus vs Everybody Hurts The World I Know vs Glycerine Semi-Charmed Life vs You Get What You Give I'm Too Sexy vs Amor Prohibido Rhythm Of The Night vs Heaven or Las Vegas Heart Shaped Box vs In the Aeroplane over the Sea Everything Must Go vs Insane in the Brain Tornado of Souls vs Rabbit in Your Headlights My Own Summer (Shove It) vs Ice Ice Baby Californication vs Crush On You Clown vs No Scrubs Bitter Sweet Symphony vs Say My Name Waterfalls vs Cowboys from Hell Army of Me vs Tomorrow Adam's Song vs Self Esteem Under The Bridge vs None Of Your Business No More Tears vs Roll The Bones Black Or White vs Pure Morning Stay (I Missed You) vs Lump Girls and Boys vs De Música Ligera Waking Up vs Be Aggressive Can I Kick It? vs You Oughta Know Canned Heat vs Your Woman Cannonball vs Always Be My Baby Painkiller vs Even Flow Goldeneye vs Tubthumping Steal My Sunshine vs I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)

Side B2

Closer vs Sorted For E's and Wizz Bring It All Back vs Loser Wannabe vs Jesus Christ Pose Kiss From A Rose vs Nothing Else Matters Killing in the Name vs That's The Way Love Goes Pokemon Theme (Gotta Catch 'Em All) vs Ordinary World Song of Storms vs Estoy Aquí The World Is Not Enough vs I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone Criminal vs Real Love Enjoy the Silence vs Plush This Is Halloween vs Spooky Scary Skeletons Fade Into You vs I Will Always Love You Istanbul (Not Constantinople) vs Iris Been Caught Stealing vs Virtual Insanity I Wish vs No Diggity Torn vs Common People Gangsta's Paradise vs Detachable Penis What Is Love vs The Sign Linger vs Ironic Venus as a Boy vs Lover, You Should've Come Over 100% Pure Love vs Macarena (Bayside Boys remix) Violet vs Sugar Spongebob Squarepants Theme vs ...Baby One More Time Loaded vs Creep The Kids Aren't Alright vs One In A Million Right Here, Right Now vs Bruise Violet Killing Me Softly With His Song vs Lovefool Jump Around vs Jump Don't Speak vs Spit It Out Intergalactic vs Dreams Say It Ain't So vs Smells Like Teen Spirit Poison vs Rid of Me

[draconeye45]

a quick Wakko draw :)

not dead, been doing more writing than drawing this week XD

[321spongebolt]

After the part of the final cutscene where C.C. Deville falls from the sky and crashes into the road by the Warner Bros. water tower, I thought as soon as our heroes make it to the ground safely, they have a final confrontation with the boogie man himself. Only, this time, his vultures unleash hell all over the studio lot. I wasn't sure if Background Singer should be captured again or not, but I do know that he would unleash his wizard powers and reveal his birth mark. In fact, this would be where Oogie Boogie Background Singer meets his true demise before the rest of the ending is revealed.

Though as far as this musical number, I don't know if it should be one of those "quick time event" cutscenes, or if this should be a boss battle where the song plays on loop, but these are the lyrics I have down below, along with spoken dialogue that reveals Oogie's death.

[LYRICS]

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (Mad): Are you still here? I don't like the sound of that! Why don't you all "Oogie" on back to where you all came from? You know, surrender in that water tower of yours!

Background Singer/King Egon (Spoken): ♪It's over! It's over! Your scheme was bound to fail!♪

♪It's over! You're finished here! Your next stop will be jail!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (Spoken): ♪He mocks me!♪

♪She fights me!♪

♪I don't know which is worse!♪

♪I might just split a seam now if I don't die laughing first!♪

Background Singer/King Egon (Spoken): ♪What's this? A trick? I'm not impressed!♪

Background Singer/King Egon (Sung): ♪You're bad and never learn!♪

♪It makes it all the more worth while to see a demon burn!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (Sung): ♪Talk, talk, talk! But I tell you, this scarecrow's going nowhere!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (Spoken): ♪If I were you, I'd take a hike! There's danger in the air!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (Sung): ♪Whoa!♪

Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Background Singers, Wizard Waldo: ♪Whoa!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer: ♪Whoa!♪

Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Background Singers, Wizard Waldo: ♪Whoa!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer: ♪Whoa!♪

Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Background Singers, Wizard Waldo: ♪Whoa!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer and his army: ♪I'm/He's the Oogie Boogie Man!♪

Background Singer/King Egon (Spoken): ♪Release me now, or you will face the dire consequences!♪

♪My fans want me to sing tonight, so please! Come to your senses!♪

Yakko (Spoken): ♪I'm feeling angry, and there's plenty left to do!♪

♪We fought your most unwelcome help, and now we're after you!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (Sung): ♪Even if you catch me, you can never do me in!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (Spoken): ♪I'm back from the dead and twice as strong! Which means, I'm gonna win.♪

Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Background Singers, Wizard Waldo: ♪Whoa!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer: ♪Whoa!♪

Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Background Singers, Wizard Waldo: ♪Whoa!♪

Vulture: ♪Whoa!♪

Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Background Singers, Wizard Waldo: ♪Whoa!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer and his army: ♪I'm/He's the Oogie Boogie Man!♪

(If you want, the song could repeat on loop starting from Background Singer's first "It's over!" until all of Oogie Boogie Background Singer's health is emptied.)

[FINAL PART OF THE SONG AND OOGIE BOOGIE BACKGROUND SINGER'S DEATH]

Background Singer/King Egon (Spoken): ♪It's over! You're finished! You'll never get away!♪

♪You, the king of Warner Bros.? That'll be the day!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (Spoken): ♪How feeble! How childish! Is ''that'' the best you got?♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer: You think you're heroes, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot? But I think you're not! (To his vultures) It's chow time, boys!

(Oogie's vultures squawk and charge at the five. Thankfully, they all dodge them as Oogie sings.)

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (Sung): ♪The sounds of flying birds to me is music in the air!♪

♪'Cause I'm a gambling Boogie man, although I don't play fair!♪

♪It's much more fun, I must confess, when lives are on the line!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (Spoken): ♪Not mine, of course. But yours, old boy! Now that'd be just fine!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (Sung): ♪Whoa!♪

Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Background Singers, Wizard Waldo: ♪Whoa!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer: ♪Whoa!♪

Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Background Singers, Wizard Waldo: ♪Whoa!♪

Oogie Boogie Background Singer: ♪Whoa!♪

Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Background Singers, Wizard Waldo: ♪Whoa!♪

Background Singer/King Egon (Spoken): ♪They call me Egon!♪♪

And you…

(A fireball ignites over the palm of Egon's hand as a dramatic score sounding similarly to Jafar's death from "Aladdin" starts playing)

ain't going… nowhere!

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (Scared): Wait! Put that down! Please!

(In Oogie's POV, the camera rotates showing him being surrounded by Wizard Waldo with a fireball on the top of his scepter, along with Waldo's guards pointing their spears and guns, the other Background Singer's with their microphones as guns, and Yakko, Wakko, and Dot with torches as they slowly walk closer to Oogie with anger.)

Have mercy! Stop!

(We cut to Oogie cowering at the sight of the angry mob's fire and sharp objects)

Stop at once! I command you!

Background Singer/King Egon: Too late, Oogie. This is your punishment.

(Music stops for a second)

Yakko: Now!

(Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Waldo, and Background Singer all throw their fire at Oogie, and set him ablaze. As they do, the music suddenly continues playing from the 2:45-3:06 mark and skipping to the 3:19 mark as Oogie burns to death.)

Oogie Boogie Background Singer (While burning): OH! OH! FIRE! THAT'S MY ONE WEAKNESS! SOON I'M GONNA BURN INTO NOTHING BUT ASHES! HELP ME! I'M BURNING!

(While Oogie screams as he burns to death, his bugs scatter out of the suit as his voice becomes high-pitched. After the cymbal crash at the end of the music, Oogie's dying words can be heard.)

Oogie's Bugs (High-Pitched): I'm burning, that's not fair…!

(The fire dies down and the suit has been burned alive. Worst of all, Oogie's bugs scatter away from the Warner Bros. studio lot as the vultures chase after them to eat them. Then we see one surviving bugs scurrying away.)

Scurrying Bug: MY BUGS!

(Another dramatic score starts playing here)

MY BUGS!

(On cue with the final bug's second "MY BUGS!", the bug gets squished by Background Singer/King Egon's shoe on the 0:43 mark of the music.)