#waiting until the fixation blows over and smile thru everything all over again. sigh
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#hmm it is quite isolating to be the only person in to [ an interest ] but ah hell what can i even do..#simultaneously bringing some joy but then reminded that no one else is going to understand but you. you're too much in a way oops#waiting until the fixation blows over and smile thru everything all over again. sigh#it's not “why don't you embrace being happy” no it fires back so bad you have no idea#i've consumed SO much media just to regulate everything so i don't end up being a mess but as is i'm still relatively messy#i've felt terrible for ?? idk how long now it feels like more than a year#all i'm doing is constantly distracting myself from grief because i am LOSING at life and living#it's ok! i have years of experience !! i'll be fine#z.txt
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