#waiting for when they get a shuffle team together. id drop dead

[jalapenobee]

brainrot vs burnout. kentareo brainrot wins.

[comphersjost]

All for You | 4 ➸  Brady Tkachuk and Matthew Tkachuk

thank you all so fucking much for all of your kind words and support and love. i though about making an epilogue type of part to tie up loose ends, if that’s what you guys want. let me know?

A week after Matthew walked out on you at the arena, his teammates show up at your door, dragging their wreck of a teammate to the only one he wants - but refuses - to see: you. 

word count: 3.5k+

warnings: alcohol, using alcohol to cope, mentions of sex, quite a bit of angst

part one

part two

part three

part four

part five

masterlist

The moment the vibrating starts on your bedside table you know that something’s wrong. The Caller ID reads Noah Hanifin. You should have deleted his number really. Especially after the trainwreck of a game last week. But you couldn't bring yourself to do it, needing some sort of lifeline to Matt. 

You watch as your phone stops ringing, revealing the notification for 4 missed calls from Noah and the time: 2:04 am. The screen lights up with a photo of him again, and this time you pick up. 

“Hello?” you answer groggily, sitting up to turn on the lamp as you rub the sleep out of your eyes. 

“Open the door.”

“What?” Your head feels heavy from being woken up in the dead of night. “Noah what are you-” 

“Is that Y/N?” you hear through the chaos in the background, and your sleep addled brain faintly registering that the words came from Elias. 

“Y/N!” you hear another voice exclaim, and suddenly you're wide awake. “Hi, Y/N, Hanny, dude, tell her she's the most beautiful girl in the world - Hanny listen to me - and her Instagram post was so cute - hey, Hanny!” 

You hear more shuffling over the line, and a sharp “Shut up Chucky!” from Noah. Suddenly there’s silence, and Noah’s voice comes out clearer than before. 

“Hey,” he says, “We’re bringing Matty up in the elevator, please open the door.” 

“Why?” you ask, “He made himself pretty damn clear at the game that he didn't want to see me so -” 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Noah interrupts, voice seeping with frustration. “He won't let us take him anywhere but here, okay? He saw you post that photo today and got all sad and mopey when he left practice and then Lindy and I found him like this. He’s been drinking since like 6 o’clock and we barely managed to cut him off like an hour ago and he's a fucking wreck so, please, Y/N, just open the door.” 

Maybe that lifeline was a good idea after all.

Cursing under your breath, you reluctantly get out of bed, turning on the lights as you make your way through your apartment. Just as you're swinging the door open, Matt is stumbling out of the elevator, each of his arms thrown around Noah and Elias. 

Matt’s eyes light up when he sees you, attempting to escape the grasp of his teammates to rush towards you. “Woah!” Noah says, grasping Matthew’s arm so he doesn't go anywhere. “Dude, relax, you can barely walk.” 

You see Matt pout as they get closer, and for some reason the sight makes you tear up. There's something about the way he looks right now, helpless and wide-eyed, being carried by his teammates like a child, that makes your heart ache. When they finally reach your door you try to hide your grimace at the smell of liquor on his breath. 

“Hi pretty girl,” Matt slurs with a grin, his head lolling to the side. “Did we wake you up?” 

“Yeah,” you say softly, stepping aside to let Noah and Elias practically drag him inside. “That's okay though.” 

Matt mumbles something unintelligible as his teammates deposit him on the couch. Noah turns to you when he’s sure Matt won't fall over. 

“I'm sorry-” he starts but you put your hand up to stop him. 

“It’s okay, Noah,” you reassure him, eyes flickering to the curly-haired boy on your couch. “Is he…?” 

“No,” Elias pipes up from beside Matt. “He's the furthest thing from okay, Y/N.” You flinch at his harsh tone, even though you knew he was right. This was your fault. Elias’s expression softens when Noah shoots him a reprimanding glare. “I'm sorry,” he steps towards you, “I didn't mean to-” 

“You're right,” you say abruptly, gaze focusing on Matt’s face. His eyes are closed but he's not sleeping, that lopsided grin still on his face. “You're right, Elias. Thank you for bringing him here.” 

Noah opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by a complaint from the couch. 

“Why are you guys still here?” Matt whines, “I wanna hang out with my girl.” Noah and Elias both glance at you sideways at the last words, but you just sigh. 

“You guys can go,” you say softly, “I can take care of him, I got this.” 

The two men hesitate for a moment, glancing at each other and seemingly having a silent conversation. They seem to come to an agreement as Elias claps Matty on the back and stands from the couch. You follow the two of them to the door, leaning on it as the two turn to you. 

“Guys,” you say, stopping them as they turned to leave. You pause, unsure if you should even ask but- “What did Brady say on the ice?” 

Elias inhales sharply, looking at Noah as he attempts to mask the reluctance in his eyes. 

“Please,” you whisper. 

Noah looks at Elias for a split second before he sighs and his shoulders slump. “He said-” Elias cuts him off before he can finish. 

“He said that if Chucky wasn't such a wimp that was afraid of his feelings he could’ve been the one to get the girl.” 

You stop breathing. 

“That little shit,” you seethe, curling and uncurling your hands before you punch something. “He's such a fucking instigator I'm going to kill him.” 

“Why?” Noah asks, tilting his head in confusion. “I mean, Matty came at him for it but, he’s right isn't he?” 

“What?” your head snaps towards Noah, eyes wide in shock. “What are you talking about? Brady and I tested the waters and figured we’d be better as friends. He started a fight because he could.” 

“No way,” Elias says, “Chucky said-” 

“He would have known if he just listened to me!” Noah steps back at your exclamation, glancing to each side down the empty hallway. Your voice drops to a hoarse whisper, “He would have known if he stayed in the fucking trainer’s room and let me explain!” 

“You fucked his brother,” Noah reminds you. 

“I was in love with Brady, Noah!” you snapped, “That was the point of this whole thing - of everything! And then he told me he loved me out of nowhere!” 

Noah scoffs, though he doesn't miss your use of past tense. “It wasn't out of nowhere, Y/N, and you know it. He brought you to games. He brought you to team events. He bailed on us at least once or twice a week to hang out with you. Have you ever even seen him flirt with a girl since you've moved to Calgary?” 

“I didn't know what to do! I’m sorry!” 

“You don't have to apologize to us,” Elias reminds you, motioning behind you. “He needs you, he's been needing you and I don't - he can't keep doing this to himself. If he's not at practice or a game he's drunk off his ass and even then he can't stop fucking talking about you. God, Y/N, do something and fix this.” 

You nod, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I'll try,” you whisper. “Thank you for bringing him here.” 

The two bid you goodbye, leaving you alone with Matthew for the first time in months. 

“Hi Matty,” you say gently as you find your back to the living room. You brush your fingertips against his forehead, pushing his hair back. His eyes flutter open, adoration and sadness practically shining through his gaze. 

He reaches for you, making grabby hands until you sit beside him, maneuvering the two of you so that his head was in your lap. He hums contentedly as you run your fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp lightly. 

“I saw your Instagram post,” he says quietly. “With you and the ice cream? I love that place, it reminded me of when I took you when you first moved to Calgary.” You can't help the smile that tugs at your lips as he rambles. “I cried when I saw it. I cry a lot lately.” Your chest aches. “I thought it would be easier by now. I thought it wouldn't hurt as much but -” he cuts himself off. Neither of you speak for a few minutes, sitting in silence as the thoughts whirl around your head. 

“Y/N/N?” The use of your nickname has you humming questioningly. He hadn't called you that in nearly a year. Whatever it is you thought he might say, nothing could have prepared you for the next words out of his mouth. 

“Why don't you love me?” He doesn't sound sad, but his tone tells you he's given up, and you can feel your heart shatter. You stay silent, unsure of whether or not he even wants you to answer. You know it was the right decision when he keeps talking. “Like, why him? Why not me? I love you, did you know that? You know that. I told you, right? You're so pretty Y/N/N, did you know? And you're funny. So funny. And my friends like you, my friends never liked girls I brought around before you moved to Calgary. I didn't like them either - isn't that weird? I don't know why I even bothered. It was always you. Even when we were kids.” 

You freeze your movements at that, holding your breath and waiting to see what he says next. 

“I mean, I didn't like, know that, yet,” he continues, words slurring slightly. “I always just thought that like, if you asked, I guess, I don't know. But it's always been you. But you kept picking him and I just wanna know why I wasn't enough for you, you know? Elias keeps telling me I’m being dumb and shouldn't be mean to myself or whatever but like, you're it for me, and I just want you to love me like you love him.”

“Matty…” you start, but you're interrupted by a squeaky hic from Matt. You stare at each other for a moment, before the two of you burst into giggles. 

“I have the hiccups,” Matty snickers, one hand coming up to grab yours. He intertwines your fingers together, squeezing as your laughter dies down. “God, I love you. You probably don't wanna hear that huh? Well, I missed you. So much.” 

“I missed you too Matty,” you lean down to whisper the words against his forehead, kissing the spot gently. “I wish you would've let me explain.” 

“Why?” He asks, scrunching his nose. “You love him don't you? I promised to help you and I-” his tone falters for the first time since he got to your place, and he pulls his hand away from yours. “I did what I promised and I thought - I thought maybe when you saw that I loved you like you wanted him to that maybe you'd realize. I thought maybe if I didn't tell you about Autumn you'd finally see that it was me that loved you this whole time. But then you just, you left when you found out and I - I’m sorry, Y/N. I should have never kept it from you. But it's always been him for you right?” 

“Not always,” you say quietly. “Not since last year.” 

Matt pulls away from you, staggering for a moment from dizziness as he stands up too quickly. 

“You can't say that!” he cries desperately, tugging at his hair. “You can't say that to me when you're - when Brady - you and him -” 

“Me and him, what, Matty?” you stand up as you ask, taking a step towards him and grabbing his collar to make him look at you. “Me and Brady, Matt, we’re not - I didn't mean for this to happen.”

“I know,” Matt murmurs, eyes flashing to your lips before he squeezes them shut. “I didn't mean for it to happen either.” 

“He's still my best friend.” Matthew’s eyes fly open at the statement. 

“Wha-what do you mean?” His voice is shaky and uncertain, but there's an unmistakable hint of hope. “Last week - at - at the game?” 

You open your mouth to reply, finally say what you've been meaning to for so long and - Matt sways where he stands, his hand flying to cover his mouth as he turns on his heel and runs. You follow him quickly into the bathroom as he falls to his knees in front of the toilet just in time to retch out the contents of his stomach. 

You rub his back gently, murmuring sweet things in his ear when his stomach has finally stopped heaving. He coughs a few times before slumping over to the side, head lolling back weakly. You clean him up as much as you can and flush, attempting to help him up. You struggle slightly as his 6’2 frame slumps against you. 

“Matty, you gotta help me out here,” you nudge him gently, “I can't carry you, bubs, c’mon, stand up okay?” 

He mumbles something about how tired he is, but still stands up as straight as he can. With Matt’s arm around your shoulders, you manage to get him to your bed, letting him slip out of your grasp as he collapses on your bed. You turn to leave the room but a soft groan from your bed stops you. 

“Please don't go,” Matt whines softly, grabbing your hand, eyes shut as he lies still over the sheets. “Please.” 

“I won't,” you brush his hair away from his forehead affectionately. “I just have to go turn off the lights and get you some water okay?” He hums in acknowledgement and reluctantly drops your hand. You turn off all the lights in your apartment as quickly as you can, grabbing a water bottle from the kitchen and a bottle of ibuprofen before going back to your room. 

“See?” you said as you placed the water and pills down on the bedside table. “Not even two minutes.” Matty grumbles “Still too long” under his breath and you snort in amusement. You pull his arm so that he's sitting up on the bed, kneeling in front of him. His eyes flutter open, blurry for a moment before focusing on you. A dopey smile spreads on his face as he watches you take off his shoes and socks. 

“C’mon, arms up,” you instruct, rolling your eyes when he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at you. “Matt, you have to go to bed, arms up.” He sighs and relents, letting you change him out of his clothes without any more suggestive looks. You manage to get him into a pair of sweats and t-shirt he’d left months ago. 

“Is this mine?” he asks tiredly, smiling softly when you nod. “Thanks for keeping it.” 

“I don't steal your clothes just for the fun of it you know, I actually wear them?” you tease, pushing his shoulder lightly. He lets himself fall backwards when you do that, sighing as he pulls the sheets over him. 

“You'll stay, right?” he whispers into the dark room after a moment. “Even if you kick me out in the morning, and Brady beats me up again, right now just, please don't leave me again.” 

“I’m right here, Matty,” you reassure him, scratching lightly at his scalp. “I promise I'm not going anywhere.” 

“Y/N/N?” 

“Matt, what part of you need to go to sleep don't you understand?” 

“I know lemme just -” he rolls over to his side to face you, resting his cheek against the palm of his hand. He stares at you for a few moments, blinking slowly to try and fight the exhaustion. “I'm sorry for fucking everything up.” Before you get a chance to respond, Matt is out cold. 

-

When your eyes flutter open a few hours later, Matt is still dead asleep. It's times like these you're thankful for your body being used to waking up semi-early. You figured while Matt sleeps his hangover away you could make him breakfast, and maybe actually have a long overdue talk. 

You're flipping the last piece of french toast when you feel eyes on you. You turn to see Matt standing awkwardly in the entrance to the kitchen. He seems hesitant, closed off, and you notice he’s wearing his clothes from the night before. 

“Hey, good morning,” you smile gently at him, “I was just making some -” 

“I should go.” The words are abrupt, and they feel more like a knife to the gut than a slap to the face. “I'm sorry about last night, it won't happen again.” 

With that he's turning towards the door but really - you've had enough. 

“Sit. The fuck. Down.” 

He spins around quickly, eyebrows furrowed into a deep frown. “I really shouldn't be he-” 

“No!” you shout angrily, ignoring Matt’s taken-aback expression. You transfer the last piece of french toast to the place and turn off the stove, taking a deep breath. “Do you remember anything about last night?” you ask quietly. 

“Not much, bits and pieces.” 

“Well you're not walking away from me again,” you hiss, pointing at the dining room table. It’s already set, the only thing missing being the plates of french toast and eggs in your hands. “Sit.” 

Surprisingly, Matt does, watching you carefully as you set the plates down and sit. 

“Why didn't you tell me about Autumn?” you ask slowly, watching as he tenses, sitting up straight. “Tell me the truth.” 

He's silent for a moment, opening and closing his mouth as he tries to get the words out. “I was sick of seeing him hurt you,” he finally admits. “I watched him hurt you for so long, Y/N, I held you while you cried and I - I never want to be the one to make you feel like that.” 

“It hurt more when Brady said you knew.” Matt grips the edge of the table so hard his knuckles turn white. “And then you said that you loved me and - we’d spent so long trying to get me to tell Brady how I felt that I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what else to do except walk away.” 

“I know,” he says quietly. “I'm sorry.” 

“I know,” you repeat. 

Matthew clears his throat, eyes focusing in his lap as he says his next words. “Living without you is the worst thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life. And I know it’s my fault. It’s all my fault. And I’m sorry.” A tear slips down his cheek and you hesitate for a moment, before reaching out and brushing it away with your thumb. You tilt his head towards you, taking in the defeated expression on his face. He keeps talking. “I should have - I shouldn't have told him for you, I shouldn't have told you that I loved you and I - god, Y/N, I’m so fucking sorry for everything.” 

“You didn't let me explain last week either,” you remind him.

“I know,” he says, “He just - he said -”

“I know what he said,” you cut him off, “Matt, when you saw me and Brady in December-” 

“I really don't wanna hear about you and Brady’s-” 

“Shut up, Matt!” You know you're probably being too harsh on him, but you're so incredibly tired of feeling like there's something - someone - missing, and you need his stubborn ass to just listen to you. “Brady and I are not together.” Matt’s mouth drops open, before he frowns. You know what he's going to say and you speak before he can. 

“I didn't just fuck him just because Matt, we were - we were testing the waters, okay?” You pause for a moment to try and discern his reaction. When he says nothing, you take a deep breath and say what you've been meaning to for too long. “It didn't work, Matt. Brady is my best friend but, he's not it for me.” 

Matt’s eyes are wide, cheeks reddening with every passing second. He grabs a piece of toast and shoves half the thing in his mouth. He chews for a moment, swallows, and then clears his throat. 

“He's...not it for you?” You shake your head. 

“And…?” 

You laugh, reaching for his hand. “And you are, Matty. It just, it took me a little longer than it should have to figure it out.” 

Matt seems frozen in place, unsure of what his next move should be. Instead of speaking he wolfs down the rest of the toast. 

“So you mean to tell me,” he stands, pacing in front of you, “that Brady was fucking with me?” 

“Of course he was fucking with you,” you said exasperatedly. “It’s Brady. He's a dumbass though so he fucked with you over something that was causing you real pain. I - I was causing you real pain. And myself. And I’m sorry.” 

Matt freezes, turning on his heel to face you. 

“Say it,” he says, reaching a hand out to you.

A grin spreads across your face as you take it, letting him pull you up until you were standing chest to chest with him. He looks down at you with bright, hopefully blue eyes. He's already leaning down to meet your mouth with his when you say it. 

“I love you too, Matty.”

fin (sort of)

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

Wip Wednesday

Untitled Fic (Correspondence)

Summary/Story so far: HotchReid, slow burn, AU where Reid never joined the FBI, but got roped into consulting for the LA field office while working and teaching at Caltech. Hotch gets his email from a fellow agent, and they start to work on cases together – until they start talking on a regular basis. Regular becomes frequent, frequent becomes constant. This goes on for months, their tentative friendship turning to flirtatious virtual dates, and now that Hotch knows how old Spencer actually is the barriers just continue to break down one by one. The next escalation? Stepping up from text messages... to a phone call. But it isn’t planned, or how either imagined it would be. In fact, it all begins because of a case...

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

(Set in late season 6/early season 7, unbeta’d, first draft)

(Without getting into spoilers I’m going to skim over the how and the why of Hotch knowing Spencer’s age now, just know it happens. It had to at some point, right? But they both still don’t know what the other looks like, or even heard each other speak... until now.)

-

Spencer doesn’t even see the caller ID flash across his phone screen. He's too busy with the security work he’s been buried in all morning. A project that the Attorney General sent to their department, specifically, and yet Spencer always gets roped into completing it on his own. Because ‘you can finish it faster than all of us combined, have at it tiger’, and while he may have the Ph.D.’s and titles to back up his academic positions, he’s still the newest and youngest member on the board. Seniority trumps intellect, yet again. He hates bureaucracy with a passion. But Spencer doesn’t even bother to look down at his phone when it rings, just reaches over for it blindly with a half-suffering sigh. Phone calls are always consultations, or requests from other universities, or students and faculty calling in for favors, or something else that isn’t as important to him whatsoever.

Not like Hotch is.

But Hotch is always a text. Spencer knows that text tone, his heart skips when it chimes, his ear is trained for it now. This morning, however, that’s not what happens. His phone rings, and he answers like he always does during office hours. Not even looking up from his work as he puts his phone to his ear.

“This is Dr. Reid.” 

There’s a heavy pause on the line, and Spencer is in the middle of writing out an equation that takes up half a page of his notebook. Too busy to notice it right away.

“... Dr. Reid, this is SSA Hot--” the man stops, clears his throat, voice pitching even lower in an attempt to quiet the conversation. Wherever he is at. “... it’s Hotch.” 

Spencer’s heart literally stops in his chest.

The deep bass, reverberating tones, ring in his ears like church bells and he doesn’t quite comprehend what is happening even as his mind whirls. Stalled, like a car engine that is being revved uselessly, to no avail. 

There’s no way…

“H-Hotch?” 

If he was in his right mind whatsoever, instead of stunned speechless, Spencer would have winced at the breathless sound he just let out.

“I didn’t -- I’m sorry, this wasn’t how I wanted our first phone conversation to go,” Hotch says, his voice clear and concise and smooth as water flowing over river stones. Just as cool, somehow, and yet there’s warmth in the layers underneath. They weave their way in after he apologizes, earnestly, like a small dam breaking in his cadence. He truly was sorry that he had sprung himself on Spencer like this, bringing them into a new light. Another barrier broken between them. “But I need your help.”

That shakes Spencer out of his mild panic. His irrational worry about how he sounds on the phone -- how young he sounds on the phone, because it’s far too late to do anything about that, now -- or how his voice cracks when he answers the older man. Still partially in shock, mind racing to righten itself, somehow.

“R-Right. Yes, of course. You’re still on your case, in Wyoming?” It all comes out in a rush as Spencer closes his notebook and stands up from his desk in a shot, immediately pacing along one of his floor-to-ceiling bookshelves in his office. Free hand raking through his hair to ground himself.

“Yes, the geographical profile is too complex for us to decipher and we don’t have time to cycle it through digitally. There’s a snow storm up here, we have next to no service. I can’t even get text messages or email out… just phone calls. Emergency phone calls.” There’s an authority to Hotch’s voice that just feels like it fits him, and his job, and how Spencer remembers their first emails sounding -- it’s nothing like how they text, how they message each other at all hours of the night and make each other laugh on different sides of the country. He finds he likes it, though, finds it soothing in a way that calms his rattled nerves the more he speaks, and gets Spencer to focus on the task at hand. Hotch’s team is on a case, people are dead, a killer is on the loose. Hotch needs his help. “It also means we can’t access anything from the home office at Quantico, so we’re stuck up a creek at the moment.”

“I’m faster than a computer, anyway, have Ms. Garcia send it all over to me as soon as she can,” Spencer tells him, putting his phone between his ear and shoulder as he scoops up his laptop and races out of his office. Making a beeline towards the conference room where he’ll have more room to work. Spencer is already logging into his email and closing the door with his foot for privacy when he juggles his phone to his hand. “I’m putting you on speaker, but it’s just me in here. I can start when I have everything.” He drops his cell to the table and leans over it as he sets up, clearing off the work space as quick as his frantic hands allow. 

But something stops him. Spencer pauses in his shuffling of papers left over from that morning’s meetings as a thought sticks in the forefront of his mind. Entirely inappropriate, considering the circumstances, but… face flushed red and eyes darting to the phone -- Hotch’s name there above the call time duration -- Spencer licks his lips nervously and asks, anyway. 

“... am I on speaker there?”

“Not yet, I was about to switch you over.”

“Wait! I just --” he pauses, flushing further at his outburst, and he knows his words have gone a little breathless and high and he’s embarrassed by it all but... he has to say it. The development is too shocking, too out of their realm of influence. If and when they had planned on moving up from texts to phone calls, it wouldn’t have gone like this, or have had this much urgency. It’s still the first time Spencer has ever heard Hotch speak, and he can’t ignore how groundbreaking that is. What it’s changing between them, even as they work on a case that requires all their attention.

“-- I really like the sound of your voice,” he admits, his own words quieted because he knows this isn’t the time or the place. “The decibels are soothing, which is so fascinating to me and I’m sure there’s a science behind it, I’ll have to look it up later. And…it’s close to how I pictured you might sound… but better?” God, Spencer never stumbles over words like this and he clears his throat as he tries to righten his composure to something a little less… awestruck. Focus. They have a case. “Will you -- can we talk tonight, too? Please.” 

“Of course,” Hotch says quietly, assuringly, and his voice rumbles through the speaker on the table. Spencer feels it like a shockwave, from shaking breath to numb fingertips. He’s glad he’s leaning against the table, when it happens, because he goes a little lightheaded from it. “You’re… just as I expected.” And there’s a tone there that says it like praise, and Spencer’s heart feels light as air. “We’ll talk more about it later,” Hotch promises, and suddenly Spencer can hear a door opening on the other end of the line and a click of sound as the police station background noise filters through the conference room. “You’re on speaker with my team,” Hotch says, his voice a little bit further away, but not any less stronger for it. “This is Dr. Spencer Reid at CalTech, he’s going to finish the geographical profile for us.”

(tbc...)

[calypsoff]

Thirty Nine. Part 2

I am ever so slow, like coming off the plane people hated me, but the main point is I am not in pain, but I am slow with it. I am having to pull this big ass suitcase along with me and then my backpack, I am trying out here. Robyn has been trying to call me, I feel so bad about this because she is calling me and I am just watching it ring out, I don’t want her to get a clue I am here, like she will hear the sound in the background, and she will know. So I am just watching it ring out, I did text her to say I am not well at all, but she doesn’t believe me at all “thank you sir” the taxi driver grabbed my suitcase “where too my friend?” he asked “erm Kensington Oval please” I heard that the journey is like thirty minutes so I am not happy about that “far away” he laughed, nodding my head “yeah” I breathed out “please sit in” taking off my backpack as I got into the car, shuffling inside the car and closed the door. This is about to take a whole long time to get there, the driver got into the car “you seeing the queen today? She is home” I chuckled “who is that?” I questioned, I think I do know who he is speaking on “Rihanna!” he spat “oh yeah, I think I know her” I am playing, he seems to be a major fan “you know her!? She is a queen, I met her once. So beautiful, our queen” I cooed out, that is so sweet to see how much love she gets while here. My phone started to ring, digging into my pocket and looking at the ID “what’s up?” I answered, “you in the taxi now?” Mel asked “yeah, thirty minute drive, this will be fun” rolling my eyes “yooo Robyn is so angry, she said he is up to something. Why isn’t he answering my calls, is he cheating on me Mel. I goes stop it but then she said but we don’t have sex, he is showing off his body and won’t answer my calls, she is panicking so much” my poor twin “man, I wish I could, but she will know” I feel bad now “I know, wait. She is coming” Mel said, hearing the door bang “he didn’t pick up, should I be concerned?” oh my god, Robyn is really going through it “I don’t think he is, maybe he is unwell. Calm down, anyways. I will call you later ok?” she said to me “will do, bye” disconnecting the call, I feel bad now because Robyn is going through it.

I did fall asleep, I mean it’s a long journey to the oval, but I can tell I am here, it’s very hectic around this place. Everyone is walking around everywhere “are you staying at hotel here?” he noticed I woke up “uhm yes I will be, it’s close by” I lied “well we are here” he is dropping me off right at the front ticket gate “can you drop me off at the side, like backstage. You think you can do it?” I mean it’s a little too busy and I have the suitcase with me “of course I can” let me ring Mel, I think Robyn should be getting on stage now, or getting ready too but people are still trying to get in, black people timing I guess. Pressing my phone to my ear as it rang out “Chris!” Mel shouted, oh it’s loud “hey, I am out the back. Come to me, quick please. It’s so busy” I hope she heard me “I assume you’re here!” she shouted, and the phone dropped “you know Rihanna?” he asked “I think I know you; I was sat here thinking. And your face, you’re her boyfriend” he has finally figured it out “I am” I admitted “I think after all that time you should know” he laughed out “oh my god, I driven Rihanna boyfriend. I love Rihanna so much she brings so much love and light to this country, she represents us. You first time here” nodding my head “yes it is, I am excited. She tells me so much about this place so I know it’s going to be good” he looks so happy “you will love it; I hope we meet again sir” he is a good man.

I told Mel to hurry up but again, black people timing she is going to be late “I am so sorry! I had to get Rihanna some water, look at you! Oh my fucking god Chris!? Is that you brother? Oh my god, you look so good, wow. I mean we left you like that and you come here looking like this, sweet chile. I get why my sister is just worried but come here, let me see your ass walk now” laughing hard as fuck at Mel saying that, walking over to Mel “don’t judge me, I am a little slow with walking, but you know. I am getting there” she waved me off “who the hell cares, come here” Mel hugged me “it’s so good to see you like this, I am so happy for you, for her. She is going to be so emotional seeing you, welcome to Barbados” I grinned wide “thank you, I feel the love already. Can you help me with my suitcase though, like I can do it but I just been on my feet for a while now” she waved me off again “I will do it oh and, here” she took off her pass, she had two around her neck “this is your AAA pass, keep it on” taking the pass from her, placing it around my neck “I am excited” I grinned “thank you for that, you didn’t need to pull my suitcase around” Mel rolled her eyes “you have come a long way, Robyn would tell me how you was and to see you like this. Smiling, vibrant. Just full of life, you think I care about just helping you a little, boy please. Let’s go in, Robyn is around, there is some technical problems, but I can take you to the viewing room, she is backstage” nodding my head, I don’t want her to see me now.

Mel looked at me and froze, just placed her finger to her lips and waved me over. I mean it’s loud as fuck here, ain’t no way in hell can anyone hear so what the hell. Looking down the hall as I followed Mel and there she is, that is the back of Robyn. I know my girl; she is with her team already to go on stage. We are close as fuck and she doesn’t even know it yet, Mel yanked me to her “the hell nigga, staring at her” she closed the door behind me “I think she is going on stage now; we can hide out here and then go to where the family is. I can’t believe you are like this now, you have really put in work for these past two and half months, like you have worked so hard. I have seen you when you was on crutches and so quiet with everyone” I laughed sitting down on the couch “yeah, I was going through it then. I have come back bigger and better now; I am ready to commit too. You said that y’all having a family meal after this, just to celebrate tour is over? You told me” Mel sat down “yeah we are, I think Robyn is just happy to end this, but she was saying Chris isn’t coming so I think I could go to Cali, it’s not fair to be in Barbados all that time and he needs me” I cooed out “she is my love but yeah, I am going to propose to Robyn” Mel’ eyes widened in shock “what? It’s not even been a full year right?” Mel is shook “but in my heart I known her my whole life, I love her so much and I want to propose her, this time last year I went to her concert with my girlfriend then and met her thinking she wouldn’t know me so yeah. Shit is full circle, but I want to ask Monica and Ronald first, I ain’t disrespectful like that” Mel doesn’t know what to say “you telling me you’re marrying my friend!? Oh my god, I literally cannot even deal oh my god!” she spat “she is going to cry, wow. Chris you’re going to make her life. You really are, awwww yay” Mel is more shocked than anything, I don’t blame her at all.

Walking behind Mel inside the room with the family “oh my lord, is that you Chris?” Monica said and shot up “no way, oh my god. I literally remember you when I left, look at you. I feel so choked up. Come here” Monica opened her arms and hugged me “thank you momma, I love you so much. Thank you for riding with me” hugging her “I am so emotional, I seen how much you went through. Oh my lord you look so good” I chuckled, Rorrey came up to me “I didn’t know you was coming?” dapping him “same but you know, I came out for Robyn” moving back from the hug “my daughter is going to be so happy to see you, come in. Come” she waved me in “Rajad” dapping him “this is my dad” Rorrey pointed out “is this Robyn’ boyfriend?” he said pointing at me “it is, this is the man she is obsessed over” Rorrey patted my back “hi” shaking his head “hi to you too” smiling at him, that is an awkward meet “come over here Chris!” Noella shouted, I swear I used to call the baby annoying “you still find my baby annoying?” I snorted laughing “no, never. Not now” leaning down “can I hold her?” I asked pointing at Majesty “of course, and she isn’t annoying” picking Majesty from Noella slowly “hey Maj, wow you look so much like your momma. You really do” she is so damn adorable “hey there” stroking her cheek “you ain’t going to cry now? You not going to show me up now” she is looking at me with her big brown eyes in shock “you like me don’t you” she smiled “see that I am loved!” I spat; she is so damn cute.

I am trying to get her family to another room, but they are so loud and talking so I don’t want to talk over them, I am just sat here waiting for the moment “Monica!” I shouted so loud, I am so dumb, but I wanted to get it over with “yes?” she looked at me, now I feel nervous “may I speak to you, Ronald, Rajad and Rorrey please? In another room, if I can?” I don’t want to tell everyone here, there is so many people, her whole family came out “erm, of course yes” she looks so confused but got up anyways, getting up from the couch. Mel smiled at me “I may take a little while” I said laughing, I am slow as it is “you can do it Christopher” Mel said laughing, walking behind Rorrey “which room?” Monica asked “just the way across us, the dancers room. I will be quick promise” my leg went kind of dead then; I am doing too much so I do know why anyways. The family filtered to the dancers dressing room, here I am trying my best to get there quick, but I made it “hey” I laughed, closing the door behind me “yeah so, I will be quick. So yeah, I just wanted to speak to you all first before I did anything because it’s respectful to do so. Robyn and I have been through a lot, we ain’t been together the longest but we have been through a lot. And when Robyn took care of me back at the house, she supported me and everything, I just realised that I would like to spend the rest of my life with her, when you know then you know, and I do know. I knew I liked her when we met when we were teenagers, but I am going to ask for her hand in marriage. Do it the right way for us both” I was nervous as fuck saying that but I said it, I breathed out “oh my god” Monica placed her hand over her heart “Christopher you going to marry my daughter” nodding my head “yes ma’am, she is my wife in my heart already” I grinned, she cooed out and hugged me “I like that you doing it legit, that’s what I want for my sister” Rorrey said, I am so glad they happy for it “I am glad you’re happy about it, I wanted you all to know. I know how much you all mean to her” Monica is happy, I can tell with her reaction “like you said you haven’t known her for a year yet, ok you met when she was younger but she’s famous and you will then inherit her money, is that what you want? You want her money and she’s too stupid in love” I was not ready for Ronald to come at me sideways “money? You think I want Robyn for her money, I ain’t the one using her name in blogs” this nigga pissed me “just leave it dad, come let’s go” Rorrey just wanted to end that before it turned ugly.

Mel helped me make a sign saying ‘Do you remember the Richmond VA tour date’ I hope she does see the sign, but Mel said she is going to make the most noise, Mel has been ever so kind to me and I love that about her, she is walking with me, helping me. She told the family to go out first and we will come after, eventually we came out here “if she doesn’t notice your blonde tips then she blind” Mel shouted, making our way out into the VIP crowd, there is a lot of people here. I don’t want to be pushed around “we will stand here, because she will be walking along here when she sings we found love, which will be soon” looking at the stage and my smile grew, she has been so damn hard. She has been worrying about me and then coming out to entertain a crowd, I am so much in love with her “you must be sick of hearing these songs now?” I said in Mel’ ear “don’t get me started, this is why I came out near the end. I know she has been excited for this moment, she wanted this to come so quick. She wants to relax in her home, but she has been worried about you” nodding my head feeling a little bad, I didn’t want her to stress about me.

I feel like an idiot with this sign “lift it, now! Do it!” Mel yanked my arms up, lifting up the sign. It’s huge, covering my damn face too but Robyn is walking down stage finishing off her choreography, I hope it’s not long “ok she is finishing off now” the music cut off and the fans shouted and cheered “she is walking and drinking water, she is looking around too. She is getting closer too. Rihanna!!!” Mel started shouting jumping up and down, oh god if this doesn’t work I will look dumb “To be in my home, to see all you beautiful people. This is my dream come true right now, I love you all so much. Every time I come home I get nothing but love, I can be me because I am home” the crowd cheered, they love her “and my fans, I love you all so much. What does that say, do I remember the Richmond VA tour date? Of course I do, I got my fans travelling to me all the way from the states!” Robyn yelped out, dropping the sign down slowly “what!?” Robyn squinted her eyes, I grinned staring at Robyn “no way! Oh my god” Robyn gasped placing her hand over her mouth and turned around, the whole stadium is quiet, and I feel the attention on me. She twirled back around, the tears in her eyes glistening from the light shining down at her. She shook her head all emotional “I can’t” she mouthed shaking her head and then laughed “I love you” I mouthed to her “I am so emotional right now” Robyn spoke down the mic “my boyfriend is here, please show him love” Robyn turned away to walk off “she is so emotional right now, she had to walk off. You really got her” licking my top lip watching her walk off, she is wiping her face as she did.

I left to go backstage, I can’t be standing around for too long it’s not good for me so I just came to sit in the back and I know that her tour is done now, but I think she is celebrating and thanking everyone, I need to gather myself to stand up for Robyn. I wish I could be with them to celebrate but I just needed this rest, getting up from the couch. I think I can hear them “watch it Robbie!” Mel spat, Robyn flew in as I got up but then abruptly stopped “poppa, what the fuck” she placed her hands over her mouth again “I can walk now, well kind of” walking over to Robyn, she sobbed out crying “hey, stop crying” walking into her, wrapping my arms around her “you’re here and walking, oh my god” she wrapped her arms around my neck “you’re back with me, you look so well. I prayed every night for this moment Chris” Robyn is making me emotional “you’re really back with me” pressing a kiss to the top of her head, she moved back and looked down at me and then slowly looked up “poppa, it’s just. I can’t believe it, you’re you! You’re back, Chris you look so well” Robyn is shocked “I love you” placing my hands at the side of Robyn’ face and placed my lips onto hers, our lips slowly meshed together, and the kiss was slow and sensual, Robyn placed her hands on my torso. I grinned moving back from the kiss “you been wanting to see the six pack” she snorted laughing but then started crying again “hey, stop it” hugging Robyn.

[ao3-writer]

He Was Okay...

Tyler had been traveling, visiting family and just having a relatively nice vacation. He hadn’t realized how long it had been since he had been stress free until he had left L.A. Although he knew he’d see Ethan in a few days because he’d be coming for Indy Popcon, it felt like it had been forever since he had last seen the blue boy.

Coincidentally, Tyler heard his phone ring upon thinking about Ethan. He checked the Caller ID to see it was ‘Baby Boy Blue’ calling. Immediately, Tyler unlocked the phone.

 “Ethan?”

 “Tyler?!”

 “Hey! What’s up, I was just thinking abo--”

 “Tyler! Th-there’s books flying a-and Mark got trapped underneath a-and Kathryn. Oh god. Oh god where’s Kathryn!” Ethan shouted over the phone.

 “Ethan, Ethan. Slow down,” Tyler replied, worried about Ethan’s shouting, “what’s wrong? What’s going on?”

 “Tyler there’s an earthquake and e-e-everything’s shaking and I c-can’t. AMY WHERE’S KATHRYN?!” Ethan shouted in the background, “WHERE’S MARK?!”

 “Ethan, babe, slow down. there’s an earthquake? What?”

Tyler’s mother entered the room and beckoned him to follow her into the living room where the news channel was on. Following her awhile listening to Ethan’s distressed panicking over the phone and what was on the TV made Tyler’s heart drop.

An intense earthquake had spread along most of the southwest coast. A few have been confirmed injured although the earthquake supposedly isn’t strong enough to cause any damage.

 “Tyler... i’m scared,” Ethan whispered, the rumbling in the background suddenly stopping,” I don’t want to die, Ty. I’m not ready. I’m not ready to die.”

 “Hey, hey. You won’t. Eth, you’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. Just take a deep breath with me. Take a deep brea--”

 “Do you know how many people die in earthquakes?” Ethan asked, “I don’t know for sure but all I know is that I don’t want to. I don’t want the earth to swallow me up. I don’t want to.”

Now he could clearly hear the utter terror in Ethan’s voice. The little whimper Ethan would make every time before he’d begin to cry. It tore at Tyler’s heart strings. It made Tyler want to just teleport and be there to hold him so that he would’t cry.

 “Ethan, you won’t. The news says that it’s a small earthquake and that everything will be alright. Just keep everyone together. Get down and be careful for any debris.” Tyler replied, hoping to calm the other boy down.

 “Please stay on the phone. D-don’t leave me like the rest of them. Please don’t leave me,” Ethan whispered choking back tears. At this, Tyler furrowed his brow.

 “Wait what? What do you mean ‘like the rest of them’?”

 “Amy went to help Mark b-because the book case f-fell and I don’t know where Kathryn is or Chica o-or Mark and. Ty, I’m so scared.”

Tyler shushed Ethan, whispering soothing words into the phone as he left his family in the living room and stood in the hallway where he could speak privately.

 “It’s okay, baby, it’s okay. I’m here. I won’t leave you. I’d never leave you. Just remember, in a few days we’ll see each other and I’ll be with you,” Tyler whispered, “I want you to hug yourself alright? Curl into a ball and just hug yourself.”

A shuffling from the other side of the phone indicated Ethan was following his instructions.

 “Now just think that i’m hugging you. I’m right there with you. Here my voice? It’s like i’m there, don’t worry, Eth.”

Ethan murmured in agreement and seemed to take deep, shuttering breaths.

 “You are my sunshine... My only sunshine...”

 “You make me happy... when skies are gray...”

 “You are my sunshine...”

 “My only sunshine...”

 “So please... don’t take my sunshine awa--”

A crash on Ethan’s end of the phone rang into Tyler’s ears. Tyler called out for him but got no reply. When Tyler began to panic, the call ended and Tyler felt his eyes brim with tears. He tried calling Mark and Amy but nobody answered.

His four friends were radio silent for an entire week. Not a single YouTube video was posted on Mark or Ethan’s channels. Fans began to become worried sending hashtags and SOS messages. It wasn’t until Tyler figured he should get a plane ticket that someone finally uploaded a video.

It was Mark. He looked completely wrecked. His face covered in soot and eyes drooping from exhaustion that he weakly did his intro.

 “As... many of you know by now, there was an earthquake and L.A. and many other cities were hit pretty badly. I’m fine, we’re fine it’s just...” Mark paused for a second before he keeled over, his face out of view as he suddenly sobbed, then he rose his head and his eyes were stinging from tears, “we’re not sure where Ethan is, Kathryn got hurt, I got hurt and it’s just--.”

Tyler’s heart dropped and he felt the light in him starting to become dull.

 “M-my leg’s pretty fucked up. Kathryn got a concussion and Tyler’s out East so he’s-- he’s fine.” Mark looked extremely weak and it made Tyler suddenly become angry.

 “WHY AREN’T YOU LOOKING FOR ETHAN?!” Tyler shouted at the computer screen, knowing damn well Mark couldn’t hear him because it was just a YouTube video and not a Skype call. Tyler tossed his computer off his desk and held his head in his hands, his mind swirling and heart aching.

 Tyler reached for his phone and tried dialing somebody. Anybody. He dialed Ethan’s number on instinct.

One ring...

Two rings...

A third...

 “Hello?”

 “Ethan? Oh thank God you’re alrig--”

 “haha, i’m not at the phone right now. Please leave a message and i’ll get back to you.” His voicemail spoke followed by a beep.

Tyler’s heart sank even lower. He didn’t leave his room for the rest of the day. He refused to eat. He laid in bed and cried into his pillow, praying and praying to whichever God would listen that Ethan would be alright. His eyes were puffy from his tears and his head hurt like a bitch. He decided to rest, hoping that he’d wake up and it was all some crazy dream.

That wasn’t the case. Immediately after waking up, Tyler checked the comments to see hundreds of hashtags and apologies and concerned messages from fans. Most of them were for Mark and the team. He only saw a few that were concerned about Ethan or Amy or Kathryn specifically. He chuckled at seeing some for Chica.

Tyler’s heart fell deeper and deeper into his devoid state of mind when he heard his phone ring, clattered somewhere on the floor. Upon reaching it, he saw Mark was calling. His heart grew furious and he answered suddenly unsure of what to say.

 “Tyler? Tyler if this is you I need to tell you--”

 “Tell me what? Huh? I called hundreds of times Mark. HUNDREDS. And you couldn’t bother answering. I had to find out through your fucking YouTube video. Where’s Amy? Where’s Kathryn? Chica?” Tyler spat out, “Where’s Ethan?” the last bit was whispered, suddenly afraid of getting an answer. “Mark I have been worried sick and I don’t know what the situation is back there but you guys weren’t the only ones hit. And Ethan had called m in the middle of everything and he was scared out of his mind and then the call ended and I don’t know what happe--”

 “They found Ethan... Tyler...” Mark croaked out. They? Who was they? If someone found Ethan then--

Tyler’s heart sank even further.

 “W-what?”

 “They found Ethan. about a mile from the house. He was buried underneath shit ton of rubble.”

 “a-and is he,” he couldn’t bring himself to say it, “...dead?”

There was a beat of silence and a huff of breath from Mark’s end of the line.

 “No.” Tyler’s heart began to lift itself. “He’s alive. He asked to see you, Tyler. He’s going to see you. We all are.”

Tyler’s sudden despair began to fade away the longer he spoke with Mark. The entire story, the entire detailed explanation that was the hell they had been through. And Tyler had hope. and happiness. He was so happy they were all okay. He was happy Ethan was okay...

He was okay...

[I am so so sorry, this came out much sadder than I meant it to. If I should rewrite it please say so. Also, if anybody wants to see Mark/Amy/Ethan’s perspective of his one-shot I can totes do that too.]

[black-strike-otp]

part 4

I’m gonna eat my exhaustion and persist on!!

Also when ur daughter’s so pure in an au you cry

After Blackout had left with his small bug friend, Novastrike took off in hopes of rejoining her comrades for the continuing journey home. Their responses were quick; from a rather angry platoon leader to the surprised and worried comments about her frame being warped and bent out of shape in numerous areas. Novastrike shrugged off their concern easily, stating she’d done what she could do to help.

“You could have gotten yourself killed,” Steelrunner had stated in a matter-of-fact buzzkill sort of way.

“At least I would have died protecting someone, and not with my tail between my legs.”

That had shut the fragger up.

Their luck seemed to stay in place. It was an easy pick-up and regroup back at the designated location after all. Novastrike didn’t talk much the remainder of the trip, which worried some. Those who tried offering apologies, or a helping hand, or even state they could wait for a medic to see her bumps and bruises were brushed off with a snappy comment. A part of her knew she was being too unfair. They had a right to be afraid; wanting to keep to their work.

But wasn’t the value of lives more important, outweighing all else? Did it really matter who it was? If someone was dying, shouldn’t you feel obligated to help? No one should have to die over this war. No one should have to die alone, period.

When they returned back to base, the platoon leader alerted Novastrike’s damages to a medic, but to no one else. With medics to overrun with work to bother grinding the injured where the injuries came from to report to those in charge, the small femme got off well enough for disobeying orders. Some fixes here, replacements there, a scolding to be more careful and off she went.

Missions ran together. A blur of gathering and moving things, looking at the dead faces of scattered bodies nobody bothered with anymore. It was disgusting. It was dishonorable. Novastrike took a moment, wherever they may be, to send a prayer for those loss. No matter their faction, no matter their reason for death.

Her reputation of hardly fighting became a joke after a while. Some refused to take her out on missions. Just fine with her; she occupied herself in the training room, on other missions, making due in the med bay. The medics came to enjoy her presence, to a point. She fetched supplies and aided where she could while comforting the dying, and the injured. Some called her a blessing and a gift, others a weak annoyance.

She tried. Primus, she tried.

On a mission she would retrieve something from the carcass of a dead mech carrying vital information. On that she would be told to help stock energon cubes (a laughable joke that was, too small to carry the average sized cube). The next she’d be fighting, the one thereafter transporting a prisoner, on and on and on it went just like the war. Just like the endless broken and dead.

Friends died. No foes died; Novastrike could not bare to name anyone a foe, she had no quarrel with anyone personally, but those who did not agree with her. Steelrunner came back practically in pieces. He didn’t last long enough for her to visit him, not allowed in the emergency room. It hurt her. Nobody else seemed to notice, nobody seemed to care. She prayed for him, too.

Missions were filed out, folks called in. Novastrike was informed to meet in the command room for intel. She went of course, and saw nothing but faces of strangers all around her standing in a line.

“Good to see you were able to join us,” snapped the lieutenant. “We need a team over in sector Victor-Three-Three-Seven for recon duty. Unfortunately, we’re short staffed on minicons, so Novastrike, you’ll be the one sneaking into the Decepticon’s facility. If you can, get into the conference area, gather intel. You’ll also be going into their command center and downloading anything you can, on to this,” the mech offered out a short metal grided stick; a usb.

“Me?” Novastrike echoed in a hollow voice, reaching for the stick. This was the last thing she wanted. She didn’t care the fame or praise it would bring her if she did it right. If she did it wrong, well....

“You,” the lieutenant stated. “We believe you can do this. You’ll have backup surrounding the camp should you be in trouble, some in the camp in disguise. You’ll be safe. That usb should gain you access if our codes are recent and haven’t been replaced yet.”

Novastrike’s optics flicked to the mechs surrounding her as she took the usb. They all stood perfectly straight, perfectly still, arms down at their sides and optics sharp and staring straight ahead. None of them made her feel any more secure.

“Of course, sir,” Novastrike said uneasily.

“You’re the fastest and one of the smallest. We could use all the help we can get, Novastrike.” The mech paused. “Meeting ajourned; get anything you may need, quickly. Your ride leaves in half a jour.

Numbly, Novastrike tucked the usb away in a section of her arm’s armor plating and turned to shuffle out of the room. The mechs marched right past her, not even so much as glancing down towards her.

She felt sick, but what choice did she have?

After a quick to and fro the quarter bunks to grab additional equipment to install in the empty spaces of her armor and subspace, Novastrike ran down the halls and to the landing zone for transport vehicles. All the mechs she was designated to go with were waiting for her. Although they still had ten minutes until were destined to leave, with her arrival, they boarded their designated vessel and were off in the skies before Novastrike had a moment to consider fleeing the situation.

They landed jours outside of the Decepticon base and made their way towards their designation point. Those undercover shifted the guise of their form and morphed their insignia markings before marching down into camp. Novastrike didn’t allow herself to think twice on it, and slank, alone and quiet, towards the least populated section of the base.

The Decepticon numbers here weren’t incredibly large, but everyone looked fierce and ready for combat. Nova remained nimble and on the tips of her pedes, skimming along any spare crates left about. She didn’t trust their loading and unloading bay. Even a vehicle mode could be deceiving, and she could walk right by one and not realize its sentience until it was too late.

She found her way in through a side-door, following a mech inside before the doors closed. From there, she found the closest ventilation system entry and scaled the wall to climb into the damn thing. It smelled like chemicals and bad decisions. Novastrike resisted gagging.

Having no layout of the building she was in, she could simply shuffle through the shafts and wriggle around to peer through other grates in hopes of finding a room that looked important to get the data she was asked to retrieve. Frag going by the conference room, she thought bitterly. She’d say it was impossible, which it sounded that way. To hide in one of those rooms and go undetected while generals and war mongers discussed how to best the Autobots and take more lives, she had little interest in hearing what they’d have to say.

Novastrike noted a promising looking room an Eradicon leaving with massive computers inside. She rocked back and kicked the grate, bending it forward. She bent it back and forth a few times before having enough space to drop back onto the floor when she could hear no one in the immediate vicinity of the hall.

Swallowing her fear, Novastrike darted to the door. It felt like it took forever to open. She pressed up against the side wall, pulling out her pistols. Once the door was fully open, she peered inside.

No one. A few large computers, but not near as many as she’d been hoping for. Still, maybe she’d be able to access something from one of these terminals.

Slowly, Novastrike crept into the room. The doors closed behind her and she shivered nervously, approaching the terminal farthest from the door. She cocked her helm slightly to the left and leaned back, jumping up onto the massive equivelant of a keyboard.

‘Identification Required’ blinked on the home screen.

Frowning, Novastrike ignored the ID requirement and looked for the nearest entry port. Careful not to hit any keys, she shoved the usb in slot.

The screen glitched slightly and the letters scattered across the screen before successfully logging in. Thank Primus that worked.

Novastrike keyed in some basic search features, and started downloading anything onto the usb, no matter how mundane it looked.

There was no telling how much time had passed when the alarms went off. Novastrike’s audios pricked. She had no clue how much of the information she gathered was useful, but that was definitely her sign to go. Slag, it was obviously her they detected, her searches were probably too high-risk and someone caught on there was someone in the building.

Ripping the usb mid-download of a file out of the computer, Novastrike dropped onto the floor. She hurried to the door and looked around. Nobody was in this hallway yet, but she could hear pedes not too far away, coming- yes, coming in this general direction. Not enough time to swing herself into the vent without being noticed.

Taking a hard left turn, Novastrike ran in the opposing direction of the loudest and closest pedes. She screeched on her heels and darted down the next hallway, huffing as she looked for a room to enter. Maybe there’d be a window nearby, maybe there was a way out-

A door opened and someone went running down the hall just in front of her. Novastrike nearly leapt out of her armor, but they didn’t see her. She looked into the room just before the doors closed; no windows there. She ran towards the next door- locked.

Primus was she going to have to blow a hole through the building to get out?

An explosion rocked the building, and Novastrike knitted her optic ridges close together. Well, that certainly wasn’t her fault.

Loud yelling filled an interconnecting hallway. Novastrike turned around, in the direction she’d come from. Eradicons and Vehicons were already beginning to turn the corner.

“Slag,” Nova drawled out, turning to run towards the other pedes. She nearly collided with a mech who stumbled over her, blasters firing at those chasing him.

Novastrike fumbled and fell to the floor, chin clipping the floor and derma biting her glossia. She glanced up, seeing the angry yet terrified expression on the face of one of the Autobot’s meant to go undercover here.

Perhaps not her fault then they’d been discovered. Not that she should be pointing digits, she snipped inwardly at herself.

The mech’s optics darted down to see what he’d tripped over, and his optics went wide. He made the smallest of nods of her. She had to go.

Novastrike debated on staying despite the gesture, but took off down the hall. A Decepticon barely missed stepping on her. He shouted something, but Novastrike didn’t try focusing on what. She could hear pedes following her, so it was easy to assume he told someone to catch her.

Skidding and barely clipping the corner of a wall as she turned, Novastrike fled down the next corridor. Doors were beginning to open as more Cons poured out, trying to check out what all the mayham was for.

“Move move move move move,” Novastrike growled, firing her pistols at anyone’s pedes in her direct path. Mechs and femmes jumped up with shock, and suddenly, what was just a few angry bees following her gave way to a ferocious hive.

Blaster fire and the stench of hot plasma and ozone burned in Novastrike’s air circulation system. She could feel plasma on her heels, the sizzle and sear of shots just barely missed as she zigzagged wildly back and forth.

Novastrike clipped one pistol to her hip and pulled out a small flash bang. She turned it on and tossed it behind her as she picked up speed.

A blinding white light flashed behind her; casting a shadow ahead in her image. The sound of startled cries followed thereafter. Novastrike felt her adrenaline pulsing wildly as she grabbed a grenade next activated the small explosive, chucking it behind her.

Her optics scanned ahead and she choose a hall at random as the grenade went off. There were shouts of pain and she winced inwardly, stumbling and colliding with a wall as the ground pitched slightly beneath her. She looked up from her head-down charge to see a line of Eradicon, Vehicon, mechs, and femme standing a few yards ahead, weapons at the ready.

Skipping awkwardly for a few steps, Novastrike came to an abrupt stop. Her chassis heaved with each gasp she took. A tremble raced down her backstrut, and she swallowed loudly.

A large, intimidating dark grey and violet mech moved through the crowd; which parted like the Rust Sea before him as he moved forward, a maddening grin and dangerous glint in his optics.

“What’s this we have here?” the mech’s deep, gravely voice snarled. He glanced back at the others behind him. “Get back to work; I’ll make sure this one is properly taken care of.”

“Right away, Motormaster,” the crew stated in perfect unison, standing up and charging down the other end of the hall.

Novastrike took a single step backwards, capturing the attention of the bulky looking Decepticon. He offered a grin; all teeth and a twisted grin.

“Where you going minibot? The party’s just begun, and you’re one of our personal guests of honor.”

[aliyaandaly]

Walk Through Fire

Chapter 3: Won't Go Home Without You

Every night you cry yourself to sleep thinking: "why does this happen to me?"

—

Ring, ring, ring…

“I’m here.”

Silence encompasses the room and the only sound that can barely be heard is the sound of their collective breathing. Aly presses her phone as close as she can to her ear, believing that in some universe it’s her way of getting closer to Aliya.

This had been turning into a bad habit. Calling each other and not saying anything. Neither of them knew what to say, every time Aly thought she knew it got caught in her throat and she felt like choking.

She assumed it was the same for Aliya. But, here they were. Almost everyday at the same time on the dot.

Aly or Aliya’s phone would ring and they didn’t even have to look at their caller ID’s to know who it was.

They never said anything, sometimes it was a “how are you?” or a “I’m well”, but otherwise complete silence beyond that. Aly didn’t know what it was, just sitting in those few moments and knowing Aliya was on the other end of the line.

The girl had broken her damn heart and yet the best part of her day was knowing this phone call would happen.

Knowing Aliya was there, knowing she was alive, breathing, listening. Yet despite all of that there was still a gaping hole in Aly’s chest and she was determined to fix it.

She was determined to not let them fall back into the pattern that they went through four years ago, she wasn’t going to let Aliya slip through her fingers, they could make it she knew they could they both just had to believe it and she wasn’t sure if Aliya did.

“I’m with Masha, in Moscow. I’m safe.”

Aly swallows hard, her fingers gripping her phone tighter as she brings a hand to her mouth. Aliya’s voice floods her ears and into her brain, making her feel like she can’t breathe a second longer without her.

“Y-You are?”

She can feel Aliya tense on the other line like she has more to say and Aly is on the edge of her seat, about to fall or stay and Aliya is controlling all of it.

“I…I don’t know why I’m here.”

Aliya’s voice comes out small, withered, like its been through so much and just making the effort to say these words to Aly is slowly killing her.

In a way she does know why she’s in Masha’s kitchen, thousands of miles from America, but a part of her also cannot bring herself to realize her current situation.

“Then come home, just come home.”

Aly doesn’t want her voice to sound desperate but she can’t help it, everything about her lately just screams desperate but she doesn’t care, this is what she amounts to without Aliya.

“I…can’t.”

It shatters Aliya to say the words and she hadn’t realized until now that this wasn’t going to be as easy as she thought. She couldn’t just go back, not now. The miles between them were tearing her apart everyday but she didn’t have the strength to face Aly.

“Then I’m coming to Moscow.”

“Aly—“

Aliya can’t even get a sentence out before the line goes dead and she’s left with silence on the other end.

—

Aliya stares down at the paper in front of her, her hand holding her pencil faltering a bit as she tries to take the words from her head and put them down. She bites her lip in thought, scrunching her forehead together.

“You’re doing really well, babe.”

Aly smiles proudly at her, ghosting her hand over her girlfriend’s as she rests her palm on top of Aliya’s knuckles. The younger girl visibly relaxes but her expression still remains tense. There are good and bad days with learning English.

Somedays she’s on a streak and she can physically feel herself grasping the language then other days it’s like she hits a brick wall.

Aly can see it, see her struggle and it tugs at her heart strings but she reassures her even on her bad days she’s learning.

Seeing Aliya put this much effort into something that wasn’t a sport surprised Aly at first, the amount of dedication that came from the Russian was overwhelming emotionally for her because she was doing this all for her in the end; to be able to communicate with her, her family and friends.

“Why don’t we take a break from adjectives for a little?”

Aliya gratefully drops her pencil onto the paper and sits back with a long relieved sigh, running her hands over her face in exhaustion.

Aly bites her lip and shuffles the note cards in her hands absently, Aliya giving her an affectionate smile from behind her hands.

“I’m really proud of you, Alka. So proud.”

Aly’s beam of pride makes Aliya’s heart jump out of her chest, even after all this time it’s still the best fucking feeling in the world. A high that nothing else could ever compete with.

“Give me some more.”

Aliya sets her jaw determinedly and motions to the cards in Aly’s hand, raising an eyebrow. Aliya was a lot of things, some good, some not so good but she definitely at the core of being was not a quitter.

It’s then that she notices there’s a small shake in Aly’s hands, her eyes follow her arms up to her face and she gives a small inquiring look to her girlfriend. She sees the creep of a smile tug at the American’s lips and she knows it all too well.

“Aly?”

The other girl gives a shake of her head and a small smile before sliding a notecard to Aliya. There’s a small blush to her cheeks and her eyes are following Aliya’s every movements but her smile is genuine.

“Try to read this one…”

Aliya rolls her eyes in response, knowing Aly too well it was probably a difficult sentence because she liked to push her. She knew it was so she would learn and take on challenges but Aliya was tired, her mind is a jumble of Russian and English; it was overwhelming and sometimes too much.

She gives Aly a reproachful look but smiles and lifts the notecard, turning the piece of paper over in her fingers her breath catches and her eyes widen. Her mouth goes dry and suddenly everything slows down and it’s just her and the card.

“Will you marry me?”

Is written across the lines in Aly’s neat handwriting. Aliya may not have been studying the English language for too long but this was a phrase she didn’t even need to know a single English word for. She had been waiting to hear these words since she met Aly Raisman.

She lifts her eyes up just in time to meet Aly’s, hers shimmer with unshed tears and her smile has never felt wider across her face.

Aly’s knee bounces anxiously under the table and she gives Aliya a look like she’s waiting for an answer and the gears have to start moving in her head again when she realizes she never said anything in response.

“…Yes! Yes, of course! Aly I have never wanted anything more…!”

The watery giggle that escapes from Aly’s throat is contagious and Aliya soon finds herself laughing as well and she doesn’t even know why. Before she knows it she sees Aly remove a small box from her coat pocket and open it.

The diamond ring that stares back at Aliya is something she’s needed her entire life but just never knew it. Not so much the ring but the symbolism of it is what grounds her in this moment. This promise that the both of them are making; never to repeat the same mistakes they both made prior.

She holds out her hand eagerly and the ring slips effortlessly onto her finger like it was made just for her and no one else. She surges forward and frames Aly’s face in her hands, kissing her with everything she has, giving her everything she is.

“I’ll always say yes. Always.”

She whispers her words into their kiss, against the lips of the woman she loves and she means them. She means them with her entire being.

—

“So you’ve decided to go for Tokyo?”

Aly looks up from her phone to Jordyn who’s standing a couple feet away from her. She’s sat in the bleachers of the gym, chewing her lip anxiously as she reviews a rather long email from her dad.

“How did you hear?”

Jordyn fiddles with the tie on her sweatpants and scoffs gently, giving Aly a condescending look that bothers her more than it should.

“Word travels fast you know that, Aly.”

She nods and sets her phone down, surveying the girl in front of her with curiosity. There was a time where her and Jordyn were inseparable, a time where the two of them were practically glued at the hip but that had all come crashing down the moment Aly had knocked Jordyn off the spot for the all around in London.

The other girl insisted it wouldn’t effect their friendship, she was hurt but it wasn’t Aly’s fault, she insisted that everything would be normal but nothing had ever been normal for them from then on.

When Aly had decided to go for Rio and Jordyn decided to retire from her elite career things had changed even more for the two of them.

Things were cordial between them, there was never any cattiness upfront or in front of coaches, parents or other gymnasts but the animosity that had grown between them had cut Aly at the seams and down the middle.

She hadn’t only lost her best friend in London she lost a confidant, someone she could tell everything to. The loss seemed to effect Aly a lot more than Jordyn. When it came down to it Aly blamed Jordyn and vice versa.

She didn’t really know what she would blame the other girl for, but she had tried everything but just like a flame burning out slowly their texts to one another had become scarce, their phone calls non-existent and their dinner dates a distant memory.

It wasn’t until Aly and Aliya’s relationship came semi-public with her friends and family that Jordyn had started to slowly creep back into her life. When the team had returned from Rio with Aliya in tow Jordyn had been one of the first people to reach out to Aly and offer her support and commend her bravery.

She wasn’t offering her support in a best friend type of way, the way that Aly wanted it, but it was still better than nothing. It had been a bit of a shock to some people on the team, getting used to the idea of a Russian and an American talking let alone being together as a couple.

“Have you told Aliya?”

Aly frowns a bit, slightly taken aback by the question. What gave her the right to even inquire about that?

“Not yet…why?”

Jordyn tries to shrug it off but takes a seat on the bleacher one step down from Aly, still fiddling with the ties of her UCLA sweat pants.

“She’s your fiancé, doesn’t she have the right to know? Training basically controls your life for the next four years.”

Aly’s next words come out a little more aggressive than she intended but it doesn’t seem to effect Jordyn.

“Of course I’m going to tell her, it’s not like I’m keeping it from her, for fuck’s sake Jordyn…”

The other girl just blinks and gives Aly a slight nod in response. Her flippant behavior somewhat pisses her off and for a second she has the idea to ask her what the fuck has been up with her but she stops herself.

Today had been a long training session and the last thing she needed was to get into it with Jordyn Wieber right now.

“I’ve got it under control, thanks.”

Aly stands, slinging her back over her shoulder as she walks towards the end of the bleachers to the exit of the gym.

“Don’t wait, Aly. It won’t end up well, I just want what’s best for you.”

She doesn’t turn around with one hand on the door to push it open, she doesn’t owe Jordyn anything and especially anything about her personal life. She takes a deep breath before pushing through the door and into the parking lot.

—

“I feel naked without it.”

Aliya holds up her ring finger and examines her hand closely, like looking at it will magically make her ring reappear. All Maria can do is nod and watch her friend, as they sit there she wonders if she’ll ever find love just as Aliya had, if she will ever be able to look at her own hand and see a ring there one day.

“Why did you leave it with Aly?”

She doesn’t have an answer right away, the wounds are still so fresh but it’s a valid question if anything she should have taken it with her but she couldn’t bring herself to in that moment.

“I wanted her to have a piece of me…”

Maria raises an eyebrow and presses a little further,

“So you could get it back from her one day?”

She knows that Maria wants her to say she’s going to go back, that she’s going to make things work and even for a second she convinces herself she will but then she remembers everything and it’s like a weight has suddenly been dropped straight back into her stomach making her want to vomit.

“I don’t know Masha, it’s not that simple.”

“It seems like it is!” Maria bangs her hand on the table, not meaning to sound angry but she can’t help it, she can see her best friend going down the same path and she won’t let her this time.

“You sit here and tell me how much you miss her, so go back to her god dammit, Alka! You love her, I know it, everyone knows it!”

“It’s not that simple Masha—“

“Love is never simple but that’s why you work on it...I will not let you and Aly fall apart while I am around, I will not let you be this broken person again!”

They make eye contact and Aliya blinks back the tears threatening to spill. Maria’s right, there’s not a word she’s said that was wrong but it’s still not that simple.

“Love is supposed to make you happy Masha, not tear you apart from the inside.”

Aliya’s voice is firm, her face is stoic, her throat bobbing up and down as she tries to swallow.

“Love doesn’t always make you happy but you can’t run away from it. Stay and fight...”

She shakes her head, her tears falling freely now as she lets them, her vision clouded slightly but she feels Maria’s hand on her shoulder before her arms encircle her into a hug and she holds on tightly, not willing to let go.

She cries into Maria’s shoulder while she tries to whisper comforting words to her but her body is wracked with sobs, everything hitting her at once. She’s out of words, she’s tired of talking, she’s spent.

“I-I don’t know if I can this time…I don’t know if I have any fight left in me.”

—

It's not over tonight, just give me one more chance to make it right