#wait no i’ll do absolutely nothing and sulk about my lack of quality in any of my hobbies

[xoadoratio]

i hate when my interests change because i never fucking get ANYTHING DONE

[ushiwakatrash]

On your knees, King!

Bakugou x reader, Todoroki x reader

Fantasy AU

!Warnings!: Swearing, betrayal, lil dash of angst, shitty writing

Synopsis:

Bakugou is the esteemed King of the Kingdom of Barbarians and because he succeeded in ruling the lands that were once governed by the Yuuei Kingdom, an offering must be made for the peace of the people. As the so-called ‘black sheep’ of the royal family, the King of Yuuei a.k.a. your father, offered you--naming you the most precious thing he could give; but you know the truth behind his words.

PART I

Part 2 →

“All hail the Barbarian king!”

Chants roared throughout the fallen kingdom as the last palace on the hunt list fell to the hands of the barbarians. The leader of their army, along with his trusted dragon, stood tall as they basked in their hard-earned victory. 

The dragon who could shapeshift into human form kneeled at the foot of his master. “At long last my king, Yuuei is ours. This glory is because of you.” 

“There, you are wrong, Kirishima. This victory is ours. TO THE BARBARIANS!” the king cheered. His soldiers followed suit with their own cheers of victory but in the castle of Yuuei, a family shuddered in fear.

Since the king couldn’t govern all of the kingdoms he had conquered all at once, he usually appointed the royal family to do it for him but one wrong move may cost their heads.

That fear was enough for the other kingdoms to pledge loyalty, knowing how the Barbarian king would definitely hang their heads on the palace gates if they ever displeased him.

The same feeling emanated in the walls of Yuuei. They knew of the new King’s ways and now they were the newest set of prisoners of the Barbarians. The king however needs a token, one of the most worth in the former king’s possession.

Other nations brought forth their best quality gold, finest jewels, the smoothest cloths of silk, but only this kingdom had a princess--and that was worth more than any of those other gifts combined.  

(Y/n) was called a weight on the family name by her own kin. She was far from what you would call an elegant lady. During the daytime you would see her sparring with the knights. Other times she would go hunting with her commoner friends.

She knew her way with swords and weapons. She is also very skilled with the bow. One of their best knights, Iida Tenya, taught her to wield these things even if it was against his will at first.

She was the princess of the people and all the commoners adored her. Her family on the other hand frowned upon her actions calling it ‘unfit for a lady and a princess’ but she could care less. 

Raw strength was not a problem for this princess and accompanied by her smarts, everyone looked up to her. The royal family could careless for their people but the heart of (Y/n) was just like that of a commoner.

She knew of their struggles and accepted criticism they had which earned her the respect of almost all of the people. She sometimes would sneak out of the castle to give food to those who have nothing on their plates or give medicine to the sick.

The only person who knew this was her childhood friend, Prince Shouto. They were introduced to each other when they were young as political marriages often happened between royal families; they were engaged.

And because their kingdom had also fallen in the hands of the great King Bakugou, their engagement had been called of because even if they remained in their respective palaces and continued to govern their own land, they were royals no more.

She lacked finesse and grace but she never lacked in heart and compassion. She was the only princess born in a royal family and because of her attitude and crass behavior, the King found her useless and an embarrassment.

 What other way to get rid of her than to give her as an offering? Surely she would refuse the offer so the king had to plan on how to break the news on his only daughter.

The queen refused to give her daughter away but if they did not comply, all three of their heads will be chopped off from their body. It was the only way to survive in their lost kingdom.

The only lucky thing that they could happen to have right now is that their daughter would be at the age to marry. She was.

-- 

The sun was out and the weather was nice--the perfect time to catch a wild boar. The town folks will surely enjoy the meals that could be made with it. She reached for the red tooth that was attached to a slim piece of rope wrapped around her neck and touched it for good luck before hunting.

When she was only starting to get into hunting as a young girl, she wandered off to the woods by herself. That’s when she met a blonde with piercing red eyes. At fist he was hostile towards her but after a few more visits, they became friends.

He taught her how to skillfully shoot a pigeon with a bow, and they would have that bird for lunch. He taught her how to climb trees and distinguish poisonous berries from edible ones. 

One time, after they had finish catching fishes in the river to roast, he shyly handed her the necklace, telling the princess that it was a price from defeating a beast of the forest. In her state of happiness, she tackled the young boy into the hug and unknown to her, it was the first time he had felt affection.

She had no idea what was going on in the palace. She was busy finding food for the poor families she had recently talked to. A knight from the castle rushed to her, scaring the animals away.

“Why would you make so much racket in the middle of our hunt?! This better new you have better be worthwhile or I’ll have you running laps around the town!” the princess complained. 

“I am truly sorry, your highness but his majesty has summoned you in the throne room right this instant so we better get a move on and not let the king wait.” the knight swiftly said.

-- 

“My daughter, I have some important news for you. For all of our sakes and for our people’s sake, you are to be given as the token of our loyalty to the Barbarians.” the king stated with no emotions.

You scoffed at this. “Why me? You have tons of gold and brilliant stones! I do not get why it must be me that is given. How about what I want?! How about my say in all of this?!” 

“You will obey your father whether you like it or not! For once be useful to this family you ungrateful child! You will be given to King Bakugou and you will be taken as his wife. Resistance is futile because I have already sent the signed papers” the king stated, more aggressively this time.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Is my freedom and happiness too much to ask from you? A loveless marriage for the sake of who, yourselves?! I doubt this is for the sake of the people. I’d rather die!” her voice started to shake.

“You will do no such thing as to kill yourself. Your wedding to King Bakugou is absolute and I will hear no further complains. Please my loyal men, escort the princess out of here.” 

“You fucking old man! Mark my words I will come back for you, not in joy, but to have you punished!” She screeched. 

--

The night was quiet for the sulking princess and no other thing could lift her spirits up other than to visit Prince Shouto. She snuk out of the castle once more and was warmly greeted by the guards in the Endeavor Palace. 

The ruler there, Enji, took care of business outside the town so only the princes and princess Fuyumi were in the castle. 

She was quickly escorted to Prince Shouto’s headquarters and she flung the door open and hugged the prince, finally letting the tears fall. “Shouto I am getting married to a man I don’t love! My father is the worst I fucking hate him. He is always against me!” 

Shouto understood the feeling of resent towards their father. That was the thing they both strongly had in common, dealing with the fathers they wish weren’t theirs. 

“It cant be that bad (Y/n)” Shouto said while trying to wipe her tears away. He cupped her face and asked “To whom are you to be wed anyway?”

The prince’s world stopped when he heard her answer. 

[todo-ho-ki]

If It’s Convenient For You, Pt. 5

Here it is! The short-awaited part 5! It took me forever to even think of something I’m so sorry dolls. But this one is more of a mess around thing I guess? It’s kind of fillerific and not totally necessary. I really hope you guys enjoy 

Word Count: 2,069

Pairing: BakugoXReader

Warnings: Swearing, blood

@chims-kookies @velvet-kissesss you said you had post notifs on but I’ll tag you just in case!

Part 1  Part 2   Part 3   Part 4     Part 6

Holy shit.  All you could feel was relief. They were finally here.

He hopped off the roof and landed terrifyingly close to the man, wrapping a hand around his throat.

"If you don't, we're gonna have a problem," he growled. The man looked absolutely terrified, trembling under his grip. It was honestly a little terrifying to watch the ferocious, untamed smile consume Bakugo's face. You watched a hand reach out for Bakugo's arm

. "I wouldn't if I were you. I have some bad news," His tone took on a quality you'd never heard in a voice before. "There's no way you're winning." His free hand began to crackle with little explosions.

"Now!" He yelled and you watched excitedly as a path of ice began creeping toward them both. Bakugo jumped away at the last second as the ice encased the man's ankles and knees, then his waist and arms, leaving only his head exposed.

"What the-?"

"Only idiots concentrate on one enemy at a time. Idiots and bad villains." All his struggling was to no avail as Todoroki strolled casually around the corner, hands in his pockets.

"Get the others out of here. The police are on their way."

Bakugo scoffed. "I'm already on it." His arms crossed as he plodded toward the building, a scowl on his face.

"Are you all right?" Todoroki bent over you curiously.

"Uh, well, not really."

"Hmm. Let's get this wound taken care of." He knelt near your bad leg and you winced as he picked up the hem of your skirt.

There was no time for him to do anything; a sudden explosion erupted from the building, blowing out the windows and shaking the ground.

Todoroki was quick to shield you from the glass, a wall of ice covering the two of you. He let out a soft sigh as his eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

"I didn't say blow up the building." His exasperated tone made you chuckle.

Kirishima rushed out from around the corner, breathless. "Dude! Did he- that wasn't the plan!" He surveyed the damage. "Jeez." He ran in yelling for Bakugo, who met him at the door screeching.

"What did you do?"

"Those assholes tried to take me hostage!"

"So? You blew up the building! Overkill, man."

Their arguing voices carried in the wind. Your eyelids grew heavy as the other two dealt with the fallout of Bakugo's temper tantrum. You didn't even realize how tired you were, leg throbbing in an excruciating pain you couldn't deal with right now.

"Is he always this hard to handle?" Todoroki's expression told you everything you needed to know.

The vibrations of Bakugo's heavy steps fell across the asphalt and Todoroki's wall of ice melted.

"Whatever! I took care of it, didn't I? There were no other people in there!" Bakugo yelled back.

"No! You didn't! You wanted to run in blasting first and asking questions later! And we told you that was stupid because there were bystanders and a hostage, so you sulked in a corner! And then you did it anyway! Not manly! You could've hurt someone."

You surveyed Bakugo's face for any semblance of an answer. You'd seen him fight and rescue on TV many times. He was definitely smart and more than able to come up with a good plan. So why was he being so reckless now?

"Well, I didn't! Everyone is fine!"

Everyone? Even me, lying on the ground bleeding?

Maybe they'd decided your wound wasn't so lethal you needed immediate treatment. But even in the wake of that, it was almost like they were doing an exercise, not actually rescuing someone.

The ideas bounced off in your head while you acquired whiplash watching the two argue back and forth.

Are they not.. phased at all? I'm bleeding to death slowly!

"Excuse me!" Ther stopped to look at you, almost stunned you interrupted. "I. Have. Been. Stabbed! And I'm bleeding profusely! Can someone please do literally anything?" You scolded them with a pretty fiery passion.

Kirishima looked embarrassed as he sat you up against your car.

Not at all what I was going for, but this'll do. Your arms crossed with a huff.

"Sorry we're late," Kirishima smiled. "I'm glad we meet again though." You couldn't help but smile. Kirishima's attitude was infectious.

"Again?" Bakugo muttered, confusion clear on his face. Even in your stupor, it didn't make it past you.

"Oh my god." You were nearly dumbfounded. His stupid-looking face told you everything you needed to know. This idiot didn't recognize you outside of the store.

"You-I-" Your head turned to Kirishima for some assistance, but he was hopelessly embarrassed.

"Dude. She's the girl from the convenience store," he strained, eyebrows raising and scrunching together.

"Oh, this is that brat?" He gave you a lazy once-over.

"I swear to god if I could stand I'd fight you right now."

"Can you get her out of here Katsuki? She's bleeding pretty bad and you can get to the hospital faster than an ambulance. We'll handle the police and..the people. And probably the news." Kirishima helped you stand up finally, bracing you against his side.

Bakugo took a look around the parking lot for a moment.

"Trying to run away?" You joked. "I'm not that awful to be around." Your words didn't even register as he pulled the headband off Kirishima and ripped it in two in one smooth motion.

"Hey!"

"Hush."

He knelt down and wrapped half of the band around the top of your leg as a tourniquet and you had to do everything in your power not to buckle under the feel of his warm hands ghosting your thigh.

He's not even going to ASK!?

You were lucky you had Kirishima's waist to dig into or a hand probably would've ended up grabbing Bakugo's messy hair. You were certain your red face was a dead giveaway as his fingertips grazed your skin lightly to tie a knot in the fabric. And in your stomach.

He wrapped the other half around the wound itself twice as gently as before. You shrieked a little as he looked up, not bothering to stand quite yet.

"How's that?" His voice suddenly grew soft, which wasn't doing you any favors. "It's- fine," the words barely crossed your lips. You were in a daze, his questioning red eyes holding you hostage.

"Good. I don't need you bleeding all over my clothes." He took more liberties with Kirishima's clothing, ripping his sleeve off of his shirt and cleaning all the blood off your leg that wasn't dried.

You nearly lost your mind as he stood back up, towering over you, arms outstretched as he wrapped one around your shoulder and picked up your legs. 

You didn't even have time to react to his snide comment before a tingle shot up your back and you were forced to swallow whatever words you were about to say.

His hands were so insanely warm and soft. The heat mixed with the cold air and you felt goosebumps on your arms and neck, though you were certain it had almost nothing to do with the temperature. You buried your face in his shoulder, hoping maybe he just wouldn't notice your reddening cheeks and shivers.

"Try not blow her up too. Or steal her clothes,"Kirishima chided, motioning to his lack of sleeve.

"Yeah yeah. Wouldn't dream of either."

Did you like that he said that? Every passing moment made you more curious to find out.

He took off into the night, bounding effortlessly, the moon giving a slight illumination to his still face. You dared sneak a peek at his features and damn if he wasn't just as beautiful as he was the other day, no trace of anger in his face. A soft gasp crossed your lips and his eyes flicked to the side.

"Nervous?" He asked.

"No. Well, maybe a little." Your breath was catching in your throat but it wasn't because of any airtime.

"You're not gonna get sick or somethin' are you?"

"Wh-no! I wouldn't dream of it." Your eyes trailed down to his jawline. You were pressed so close to his face. It was driving you mad how little distance you had to close to press your lips against his neck.

Don't do anything stupid. Don't do anything embarrassing.

But you didn't feel your hands unclasp themselves. You didn't feel yourself reaching for the side of his face, hand connecting with soft skin. You didn't even realize you were staring at him with your mouth half open in awe of how gorgeous he really was. But he did.

"You better watch yourself, you fucking idiot. Don't touch me like that," he growled, eyes darting to you in warning before snapping back to the endless night in front of him.

You were sure you were a million degrees hotter than a second ago, letting out a squeak of shame.

What the actual fuck am I thinking? Fucking idiot is right! If you're gonna be the worst can't you at least wait until you can get away?

The wind kicked up as your embarrassment soared far beyond what you were sure was appropriate for one person to feel.

"Uh, yeah. If you wanna just literally drop me, just like, right on the ground so I can die, that'd be cool."

When in doubt, vocally wish for death!

It seemed a bit carried by the wind, but you could've sworn you heard some sort of noise resembling a laugh from his chest.

Did he just- did I make him laugh? Was that a fucking laugh?

There wasn't much time to ponder. "Don't tempt me, stupid woman. You're just lucky I'm used to people thinking I'm pretty."

You immediately opened your big stupid mouth to remark. " Too bad you're not used to people thinking you're bearable to be around."

With that you felt both his hands clench bruisingly on your skin.

"You talk a lot of shit for someone who couldn't fight off one dude with a knife."

"And you talk the perfect amount of shit for someone I'd consider an asshole. What's your point?" You sassed, rolling your eyes as he landed in front of the hospital.

Without warning he pulled his arm out from under you, forcing you to land on your good foot. Luckily you were paying attention. A stinging sensation buzzed at your ankle and the warmth from him was gone, leaving you frigid and angry.

"Ow! Asshole! What would you have done if I landed on my other leg and died right here?" His stare was almost incredulous as you kept yourself latched to his shoulders. 

You really were wishing for death, perhaps in the form of a meteor striking earth. You were glad he shook off the minute before this one, but you would be fine if you never saw him again.

"You're so fucking dramatic. Let go of me." He picked your lingering arm off his shoulders.

"Cool. Guess I'll just hobble into the hospital then."

He rolled his eyes and picked you up again, much more roughly than before. A feeling of warmth shot through you and your eyes fluttered closed. "Wow. Such a brat," He scoffed. He trudged up the walkway quickly, probably eager to get rid of you.

Maybe..you were a little bit of a brat.. you didn't finish the thought as you fell asleep within seconds. No longer flying through the air meant you were truly warm and the pain in your leg was finally returning to a dull throb.

"Oi! Wake up!" Bakugo's gruff voice startled you awake just before he tossed you into a wheelchair like you were a beanbag of sorts.

"Jesus! Are you this rough with everyone you have to save?"

"Most of them are smart enough to not give me so much damn sass. Or they aren’t awake. You're obviously not that seriously injured if you can't keep your mouth shut. So we'll wait for a room." 

We?

Your arms crossed as he wheeled you into the hospital.

How does this asshole stay in business? What agency looked at this dude and said 'yeah, no liabilities here!'

He checked in at the front desk and surprisingly sat down next to you, crossed arms matching your own. Was he really going to not only deny you emergency services, but annoy you the whole time you were waiting, too?

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 6 “Stealing from the Elderly”

Here’s the dilemma:

I adore a lighthearted RWBY.

I don’t adore RWBY when the parts RT chooses to frame as jokes are the legitimate flaws the group needs to work through, thereby sending the message that they aren’t flaws at all. No need to take dangerous mindsets seriously!

And that’s this entire episode. Let’s dive in.

We open on a shot of the Atlesian airships stationed in the Argus bay, cuing the viewer into the one thing I really hoped wouldn’t happen in this episode: the gang going through with this ridiculous plan. Because as we quickly see logic needs to do exactly what I said it would, getting the hell out of the characters’ way in order to justify them making it this far. Every choice they make over the next 13 minutes only works because of the Power of Plot and yep, I’m just salty enough to point out as many inconstancies as I can.

Let’s start with Weiss pretending that she’s “come to [her] senses” and is willing to go home. (Oh look! The kids are telling more lies.) This part is, in my opinion, the most solid portion of the plan. As a Schnee, Weiss does have a guaranteed way of getting access to an airship and the biggest risk is that she’ll actually end up going to Atlas by herself, ending up in the hands of her family. In which case Weiss is strong enough and done enough to just leave again. They physically can’t stop her. I would have actually given her the relic with the hope that, worst case scenario, they still complete their task: getting the relic behind safer walls. Right now emotion is warring with pragmatism. Emotionally Ruby isn’t willing to separate from Weiss and have her brave Atlas alone, but logically the best option is to let Weiss complete their mission—just have her run/sneak away once the airship lands?—and leave the rest of the group to figure out how to get to Atlas at their leisure. As in so many other ways, they’re not thinking as huntsmen right now. They’re not putting their jobs above their personal desires.

Still, that tiny portion of the plan is pretty solid. The problem is… everything else.

Cordovin makes Weiss uncomfortable by saying that she hopes she follows in Winter’s footsteps and she’ll be sending two of her best guards on the journey with her—so be sure to tell General Ironwood that! Cordovin is clearly concerned only with making herself look good. She leaves Weiss in the ‘capable’ hands of Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

As she’s walking away though things start getting ridiculous. The twins try to take Weiss’ luggage, commenting on how heavy it is, but Weiss insists strongly that she can take care of it herself. First off, this just shows how ill-equipped the gang is to pull this off. The easy answer here is to just let them carry your luggage. So what if it’s heavy? The first time we’re introduced to Weiss, Ruby is crashing into a small mountain of her suitcases. If anyone can pull off the snobbish, can’t-go-anywhere-without-my-whole-wardrobe heiress shtick, it’s the actual heiress. But no, Weiss makes a big thing of it so that Cordovin gets suspicious, partly because these kids have no idea how to pull off a complex ruse, partly because, as said, the writing wants to treat all this in a lighthearted manner. So Cordovin pauses.

The answer to this problem? Have Adrian cry. Okay wait, how old is this kid? Because he looks to be about two. Maybe three. Regardless he is not old enough to cry on command, especially when his mom doesn’t, say, do something that she knows will upset him, but straight up goes, “Just like we practiced.” Oh yes. Over the last few hours you practiced with your toddler until he’s now an expert at crying at the drop of a hat. There’s a hint that this is his semblance—those rings of sound we see emanating outward—but that’s not confirmed (it could just be a stylistic choice to show he’s crying very loudly) and even if it was, that doesn’t change a kid’s ability to comprehend his mother’s vague statement and execute an order. RWBY is a show with fantasy qualities, but they’ve never extended that to human development before.

My point is this is stupid. And stupid is okay! On its own this scene is absolutely hilarious and if we’d gotten it a few episodes ago I would have been thrilled. The RWBY gang meets Jaune’s sister, her wife, and the proud parents show off their kid’s semblance by asking him to cry. Adorable! No one cares if the logic there is iffy because it’s just a fun, character driven moment. There’s nothing relying on that logic. Here though? It’s precisely what I’m trying to point out. In order for the plan to work the logic of the world has to suddenly bend itself to the kids’ whims—up until the plot wants them to fail.

That’s just annoying.

So Adrian cries and the guards are immediately distracted. “A crying child!” “We must console it!” Kudos to them for being kind people. They’re weird and way too wrapped up in the supposed superiority of Atlas, but there’s something to be said for seeing a kid crying and dropping everything to try and make him smile.

Weiss takes her own luggage onto the airship… where we hear Maria’s voice inside.

Look. Maria is small. She’s not that small. Is it possible to fit someone into a suitcase? Yeah. Pretty sure I’ve seen Youtube videos of stuff like that. Is it a good solution when applied to a problem that’s been plaguing your team for half a volume now? Not really. You’ll notice throughout this recap that all of the things I point out do have potential explanations—maybe Adrian is that smart, maybe Maria is that small—so it’s less an issue of each thing individually and more that they’re all slammed together in one episode, piling on each other to ensure that the plan works as much as it does. All writing requires a suspension of disbelief, but RWBY is really stretching theirs today. 

Everyone else is standing by at various locations. Where did they get these comms to stay in contact? Who knows. Maybe Terra? We’re not told. Because there’s very little in this episode that’s meant to be taken seriously, despite the fact that it should be. RWBY is trying to work in a lot of humor before the finale’s inevitable angst, but this really wasn’t the time to do it. 

We do see then that Terra is helping them by giving Blake and Yang info about the relay tower. I said before that they should use her as a resource, absolutely, but here we see them using her flippantly. Terra says seriously that this conversation “never happened” and Blake rolls her eyes at her. “Don’t worry. This isn’t the first time I’ve disabled Atlas security.” That’s not the point, Blake? The point is this woman—who you met two days ago, I might add—is risking her job in order to help you steal a freaking airship. Hell, she’s probably risking her freedom too. Cordovin is absolutely the type to chuck them all in jail in the name of “order.” Moments like these just re-emphasize to me how childish the group can be and once again the problem isn’t that childish view in and of itself, but that they’re not learning from it. That no one is calling them out on it. The story doesn’t challenge Blake on her insensitivity here, that she’s shrugging off this woman’s sacrifice like it’s her due. Of course you’d risk all this in the name of our idiotic plan. We’re the heroes. My leader just announced last night that we know what we’re doing and you all should follow along. Your worry is hilarious.

Terra reiterates that this conversation “never happened,” but we’re supposed to laugh at her fear. It’s not meant to read as legitimate because Blake isn’t worried and Blake is one of the protagonists. Now I want Terra to lose everything, just so the gang can look back on their choices and go, “Huh. Maybe we were hasty and kinda arrogant. People got hurt because of that.”

…Except we’ve already seen this. That’s the exact setup involving the relic and we still haven’t had anyone acknowledging how bad those choices were. At this point it’s not even a matter of whether you think the kids should or should not have found out about Salem, or challenged Ozpin’s authority. That ship has passed. It’s the way they went about getting the information that’s a problem. Entitlement, lack of empathy, thinking that it’s your way or the highway. We’re seeing more of that with this plan. 

Then we get a legit wonderful moment though. God bless. Yang drops Blake off a little ways from the tower and asks if she’s sure she doesn’t want any help. Blake rightly points out that it’s a lot easier to sneak in with one person than two… and also, uh, sorry Yang. But you’re not exactly the stealth type.

This is a natural, well-written moment between two people who know each other intimately. My friends and I do this all the time: kinda insulting each other, we’re kinda annoyed by it, but we also realize the other has a point, so there’s no hard feelings. But I’m still gonna act a little like there is because it’s my right to fake-sulk in this moment. The expressions and dialogue are on point here. “I mean… you’re great! And I’ll hurry back!”

Highlight of the episode for me. Everything else can scoot on out.

We cut to an enthusiastic Jaune. “YES! Everything is going to plan.” Yeah, only because your plan has Plot Armor right now. We get a shot of Qrow leaning against a tree in the background, obviously unhappy. We’re once again suppose to sneer at his pessimistic attitude, but he’s right. The show isn’t commenting on his actual issues (drinking, lack of faith in general) because it’s too busy focusing on the one time Qrow is 100% on track this volume (this is a horrible plan bound to go awry).

We return to Weiss on the airship where she watches her scroll until she’s finally out of range. We stay focused on her seat as the sounds of a fight happen off screen and then the twins are drifting down from the airship on a single parachute, held together by one of Weiss’ glyphs.

But then that breaks and one of the guys falls.

He catches hold of the other’s leg because—again—the writing wants this plan to have a strong comedic tone (no doubt to combat the coming drama of Yang and Blake fighting Adam) and is ensuring that nothing bad actually happens. But something bad could have happened. Quite easily. These guys don’t appear to be fighters. I doubt they have the aura to protect them from a fall like that. Weiss could have just killed a guy if the writing was willing to take this plan at all seriously.

All we get though is a slightly guilty look from Weiss. I honestly find this whole series of events to be absurd. It would have fit in well with the early volumes of RWBY before the show grew darker and started emphasizing the consequences attached to a huntsmen’s choices; before we had a whole volume trying to convince us (unsuccessfully imo) that our group is made up of mature adults who are on par with—or according to Ruby’s words—surpassing the likes of Ozpin and Qrow. And this is how they follow up the claim that they don’t need and have never needed adults? 

Ah yes. Stealing from allies, beating them up, and tossing them out of a plane. The epitome of being a huntsmen.

We then get the exact kind of line I figured was coming.

Maria: “Missy, I was the Grimm Reaper. What part of ‘best huntress of her generation’ don’t you understand?”

(In which that expression is me.) 

Of course she can fly an airship! Note that the dialogue dodges all the concerns Weiss brings up. Aren’t you blind? Maria just laughs. Okay, okay, we as the audience at least got a glimpse from Maria’s perspective and know she can see shapes, but aren’t the goggles that allow you to do that “in desperate need of repair”? Maria still doesn’t provide an answer. She takes a super convenient plugin that just happens to fit the glasses we’ve only ever seen her wearing and we get a SENSORY DATA readout on the screen… so she’s connected to the ship now? Who knows. Again, we’re given no explanation. “Why would you kids let me fly this thing?” Maria asks, but it’s once again just another joke to laugh at, not treated as a legitimate question that I’d like answered. There’s a big difference between not boring your audience with every detail of how something works and outright ignoring how it works because you can’t be bothered to come up with something convincing. 

Additionally, as said, the episode is riddled with more of that adults vs. kids mentality. Cordovin tells Weiss that, “Knowing you’re returning to Atlas just warms my old heart,” reminding us that the antagonist of this episode is old. She says, “It’s time you ask yourself, children: do you truly wish to defy me?” framing her, the adult, as the bad guy and the team, the “children,” as underdogs we’re meant to root for. Our episode title is “Stealing from the Elderly” because remember, we’re not just stealing from Atlas. We’re the young people stealing from old people because young people are good and old people are bad. Cordovin has been established as a delusional, nationalist, overly controlling racist. There are plenty of reasons to dislike her. Why does the show feel the need to emphasize age as one of the primary reasons we should distrust her? Oh yeah, because our protagonist just announced last week that kids rule and adults drool.

I bring this up again because it’s in direct contrast to what we’re seeing here with Maria. Her age is being used as a catch-all explanation. She’s ancient! She was a renowned huntress! That’s all you need to know. It’s because she’s been around so long and had so much experience that we supposedly buy into the fact that ‘fly an Atlesian airship’ is a part of that skill repertoire. We see the same thing happening when she conveniently knows the “jargon” to speak with the man down at the base. RWBY wants to have its cake and eat it too. Ozpin leads the team and keeps everyone going/alive. The kids turn on Ozpin because they don’t like how he runs things. Maria takes his place and does the exact same thing (giving orders, keeping them safe and their morale high), but the kids refuse to acknowledge this and the narrative encourages us to do the same. We never needed adults. Except now, once again, it’s an adult and an adult’s experience that’s coming to the rescue… but just forget about that by the time Ruby gives her speech to Qrow, okay?

You can’t have it both ways.

RWBY sure is trying though. While Maria perfectly flies her airship—and taunts Cordovin with cashews. That was admittedly great—things finally start going south. Blake was supposed to take out the tower but now isn’t responding to anyone’s calls. Cordovin hops into a giant fighter and demonstrates the ease with which she can knock Maria and Weiss out of the sky. Watch how fast the group goes from smug to panicked. Oscar yells, “What are we going to do?”—a familiar question at this point in the volume. Keep in mind that given Cordovin’s extreme personality, that first shot was (once again) only a warning shot because the show can’t actually have Weiss and Maria die a fiery death as their ship explodes in the sky. But that was always a possibility! Your actions have consequences. Often horrific ones, but like with the relic, no one is admitting that their ill thought choices are at the root of it all. 

Qrow finally speaks up, but it’s not to let the kids take responsibility for their horrible plan that’s now put three teammates in danger. He shoulders all of it, claiming that it’s because of his semblance.

Which… okay. There’s a lot to unpack in this conversation. That is actually a very in-character thing for Qrow to say, but I’m still waiting for someone to point out how irrational his guilt is. That needs to be a part of his healing process, acknowledging his actual mistakes (relying on drink to the point where he becomes a liability) rather than stuff he’s not at all responsible for (this mission). Qrow’s semblance has a range. We established this clearly in his fight against Tyrian, so how the hell did he mess things up for Blake who’s all the way at the tower and Weiss who’s all the way up in the air? In that moment I thought Ruby would point this out. Start the conversation we should have gotten last week: Your semblance isn’t the problem and neither is the fact that you’re obviously hurting from these revelations. Your coping mechanism is. We need you to take responsibility for the things you can actually control.

Instead we get:

Ruby: “We’re all in this together and we’re all going to do the best we can. That’s all anyone can do…we would have come whether or not you let us so stop talking like we’re your responsibility. We’re not.”  

Ruby, I hate to break it to you, but you are Qrow’s responsibility. Four times over.

Emotionally as the much younger niece of an adult uncle.

Legally considering that you are a minor in the company of an adult.

Legally again given that Qrow has his huntsmen license and you do not. Right now he is the only one with any authority in the real world (presuming that Maria can’t prove her status as former Grimm Reaper).

Justly since Qrow has been fighting this war for at least a decade and you’ve known about its existence for about three months.

Even if you believe Ruby is a fully autonomous adult at 16 with no formal standing in this world, the knee jerk reaction of “we would have come whether or not you let us” is precisely the problem. This isn’t a matter of rejecting what Ruby sees as unwarranted authority, it’s a rejection of valuable support. Qrow did tell them not to do this, but he said as much because the plan is stupid, not because he’s an adult who wants to…what? Curb kids’ actions just because he can? His objection had nothing to do with his authority and everything to do with the fact that this plan can only end badly—as we see happening right this moment. By planting herself on Team Kid, Ruby is choosing to automatically reject adult voices not because the advice itself is bad, but because it came from them. Boiled down the message is teenage rebellion. Don’t tell me what to do… even though you’re usually telling me what to do for a damn good reason.

Remember though, the writing is pro-protagonist here. So instead of having Qrow point out that these views need to be addressed, we get,

Qrow: “How did you grow up so fast?”

Ruby: “I had good role models.”

Ruby is not grown here. She’s doing a damn good job for a traumatized teen thrown into an impossible situation, but just because she believes she’s the bees knees now (ha) doesn’t mean we as the audience need to buy into that. Kudos for acknowledging those role models… but jeez. Rather than a heartwarming moment between uncle and niece, this now reads very much as, “I had good role models and now I don’t need them anymore.” Ruby says they could use “Qrow Branwen,” but she’s not showing it. The last time we saw her speak to Qrow she was announcing that they didn’t need Oz or other adults.  Based on what we’ve seen, rather than address the actual issue (alcoholism) Ruby is trying to put Qrow into a subordinate position. I want your help, but only if you follow our lead. I just reminded you that (I believe) you have no authority over me anymore and you can’t make us do anything. Your place here depends on you acknowledging that we don’t need you; we’ll just have you. 

Which would be something to consider if these kids had actually demonstrated an ability to survive without adults and make better decisions than adults, as they claim they have. If they could actually think and act and plan and enact as equals, on par with people who have finished their schooling, experienced far more, and fought this war for decades (if not millennia). But RWBY hasn’t shown us that. As I’ve laid out elsewhere, the show has in fact done the exact opposite. We’ve had 6 volumes demonstrating why they’re not ready to call all the shots yet, emphasizing how much kids still have to learn. Whether it’s a matter of thinking ahead, thinking strategically, controlling your emotions, or a straight up difference between you and an adult fighter’s power, the kids consistently need an adult’s assistance. Which is natural! But it’s also why having the show frame Ruby as justified in this attitude is quite frustrating to watch.

But whatever. I’m trying to enjoy this episode despite all the issues I see, but I really prefer writing that hangs together and volume 6 has been all over the place. Regardless, we see more of Cordovin piloting that robot (at least she’s reliably over the top in her characterization), but we also see how everyone else is reacting to it.

Civilians are scared. They’re all staring, some holding onto one another, others with hands up over their mouths. This is why the plan is stupid. Not just because we need to crank up our suspension of disbelief, but because they’re stealing an airship. And now they’ve gotten caught. Again, the plot kept treating it as a joke, but Atlas is actually going to see them as “traitors” for this. It is going to cause more tension between the kingdoms. It’s already freaking people out.

Hmm. What happens again when people get anxious and scared...?

And now Ruby wants to start a battle. They’ve committed to this theft, which means that once things go badly all they can do is escalate the situation. They’re not going to surrender. They’re going to make things worse by now attacking the special-operative in charge of this base. It doesn’t matter how much of an asshole Cordovin is, she’s not an enemy. She’s not a grimm, a bandit, or a subordinate of Salem’s. She’s an authority figure of a currently tenuous ally… and Ruby’s solution is to call Weiss back so they can “take this thing down.” This is what happens when kids are in charge. 

Qrow got in trouble for destroying two random Atlas robots. What do we think is going to happen after the gang destroys what looks like one of the best (and most expensive) defenses Argus has? Well, at this point presumably nothing since the writing is determined that the kids shouldn’t take responsibility for their actions, but logically it can’t end well.

Let me be clear here: they are in the wrong. It doesn’t matter that they’re our protagonists with a super secret mission. These kids stole the property of an ally in a time of peace, endangered lives, planned to disable their security, and now plan to destroy one of their primary defenses. Their actions are scaring people which means they’re more likely to attract grimm. The show can dress it up if they want, but the gang’s plan goes against everything they’re supposed to be striving for as huntsmen. 

Regardless, they’re going through with it. We end the episode with the surprise reveal of Adam, another ‘Okay how does this work?’ moment. So he really was there on the train and out by the farm? He just left Menagerie after getting there and managed to catch the same ride? Following them without anyone noticing? Waiting for this precise moment to get Blake alone? Fine. Sure. If I can ignore the gang getting to Argus in an afternoon I can ignore this too.

Especially because I am looking forward to Blake and Yang finally getting to confront him, if only so we can (hopefully) put Adam’s arc behind us. I’ve never been invested in him as a villain, primarily because he doesn’t do anything. His status as a Bad Guy is so tied up with Blake that unless they’re on screen together Adam is just a whiny, useless man-baby. RT does his abuse very well—his claim that Blake “ruined everything” and her calling him out on his “stalking” were great—but those interactions are rare for obvious reasons. So yeah, I’m hoping for a semi-accidental death in this fight. I don’t want the girls to go through the trauma of being murderers, but if Adam could do something stupid that results in him being killed? I think that’d be good. Let the girls find their closure and then be done with him. The cast is massive. We don’t need to keep around characters who only manage to be relevant once every two volumes.

Maybe he can hit a part of the tower and electrocute himself. Would that kill a fighter other than Nora? I don’t know… and now that I think about it, this theorizing is getting morbid lol. Let’s just wait and see.

Until next time!

Other Things of Note

Cordovin’s comment that everyone was devastated when Weiss chose Beacon over Atlas is a great contrast to the comment about Pyrrha. Both went to Beacon to escape the attention from their home towns, but one was a good attention that just proved limiting—are these people really my friends?—while the other was outright abuse.

Honestly, “Jargon was fine, but our pilots aren’t elderly women” is one of the few parts of this plan that’s logically on point. Yes. It is highly suspicious if the pilot checking in sounds like Maria. So it’s clear that RT can apply these basic rules when they choose to.  

“That’s the sound of me not caring!” Istg cute bees teasing and Maria living her messed up life to the fullest saved my sanity today. I’m staning those parts of this episode.

How does Adam see??