#wahahaahhaa

[jincherie]

You kicked a can that someone had left discarded in the gutter, watching it tumble across the pavement desolately before you felt guilty and ran to pick it up, tossing it into the nearest bin. You were on the outskirts of the city, and as one would expect there was a fair bit more litter. You didn’t want to think of what it would look like for a superhero to be walking around picking up litter at around 9 o’clock at night on the outskirts of town, but you couldn’t help it. Skewed as it may be in some ways, your moral compass was still very much working. If you saw rubbish, you were painfully inclined to pick it up. You wished your moral compass could be so straightforward all the time, especially regarding villains. If you saw a villain, were you painfully inclined to arrest them? Historically, apparently not.

As though even the barest mention of them in your thoughts were enough to summon their dumb faces, you heard a sound to your left and turned your head to catch sight of two familiar figures attempting to sneak along the rooftops. You didn’t think they’d seen you yet, so with a sigh you waited until they dropped down into an alley between buildings and slipped up behind them.

“What are you doing?” you queried as soon as you were within a metre of them and most of the way inside the alley, your brows raised. You sounded like a mother who’d just caught her children sneaking cookies from the jar in the middle of the night.

Min and V nearly jumped out of their skin, lurching away from each other where they’d been hurriedly whispering between themselves. Min flattened against one of the building’s walls, hand pressed to his chest and wide eyes on you. V had covered his mouth, as though to prevent any noise that might betray his moment of weakness coming out.

“Jesus H Christ, Spark, don’t do that!” Min hissed, eyes narrowing in a glare that was all bark no bite. You snickered, crossing your arms and levelling them with an amused look.

“I know you’re villains, but the way you’re sneaking around looks suss even to me. What are you up to?” you asked, a part of you genuinely curious and another asking for the sake of knowing whether or not you’d be trying to haul their asses to jail later on.

V let out a disgruntled noise. “Bendy Brenda decided to make a field trip to Sunset City and caught us trying to rob a sex store.”

You were torn between cackling at the nickname and the sheer ridiculousness of the act they’d been caught doing, and simmering at the fact that possibly the one superhero you could not stand had decided to waltz on over into your city unannounced and and most certainly uninvited. Your rage won over and your expression fell into an incredulous glare. “The fuck? Elastagirl is here? I warned her what would happen if she set foot in this city again—”

Min snorted, apparently enjoying the sight of you all worked up over something that wasn’t him, V or Tempest. “I believe she goes by Elasta Lass nowadays.”

You made a strangled noise of disbelief and rage, fingers twitching with the urge to constrict around something. “Are you shitting me? She has the nerve to walk around my city with a dumb name like that, fuckin pretentious bitc—”

“My god, I’ve never seen you so angry at someone that wasn’t us before,” the taller of the two marvelled, sweeping dark blonde locks from his masked face as he grinned slyly at you. “Whatever did poor Elasta Lass do to get on our beloved Spark’s hit list like that?”

You levelled the male with a very unimpressed look. “I don’t know, why don’t you ask her when I throw her out and you with her?”

V cackled, but Min was quick to shush you both as his phone beeped. You watched, somewhat intrigued, as his face visibly paled and he straightened, showing whatever was on the phone to his accomplice. V’s eyes shot wide behind the mask, adam’s apple bobbing as he gulped heavily.

“Oh shit,” he choked. “Min, we gotta haul ass.”

His accomplice nodded, turning to face you and placing a hand on your shoulder with an expression that you didn’t quite know how to decipher.

“Spark, it’s been good knowing you,” he began, lilting voice completely serious as he spoke. His brows were drawn together, a sombre look crossing his features. “We’ve had some good times, made some good memories. But alas, this time we flew too close to the sun on our wings of poor impulse control and terrible decision making, and the time has come for us to fucking leg it. Take care of yourself, and send up a flare after this is all over so we know you’re still alive. Ta ta, Spark!”

With that he delivered a cheeky kiss to your forehead before bolting, V following suit and darting after his accomplice as he scaled the wall and made his way across the rooftops once more. You hardly managed to comprehend exactly what had just happened, mind blank, until V turned, imparting one last gift to you before he disappeared over the rooftop.

“Bendy Brenda is over on the corner of Foyo and Albert street!” he called, waving his hand. “Go ham, have no mercy; she confiscated our dildos!”

Then he was gone, the only remnant of their presence being the sudden rage that spike within you at the mention of your worst heroic nemesis. You balled your fists, turning on your heel to make good on the tip-off V had just provided— you could figure out exactly what that whole weird interaction meant later.

For now, you had a stupid stretchy hero to apprehend for trespassing on your turf.