#wafs' dumb answers

[nyaoi-warrior]

Skin

HUH???

[sad-boy-hank]

incorrect quotes but theyre the Anti Nexus Squad

ft. Dawg

@jalapenjowrites

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Sanford: *seductively takes off glasses* Sanford: Wow... Deimos: *blushes* Haha... what? Sanford: You're really fucking blurry.

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Hofnarr: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of makeup if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically. Hank: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes. Sheriff: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting. Hank: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

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Sanford: Did you buy eggs like I asked? Echidna: Even better! Sanford: What the fuck did you- Echidna: *holding up a chicken* Her name's Fluffy.

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Jeb: So you like cats? Hofnarr: Yeah. Jeb: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

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Echidna: On-on rings are vege-able donuts. Jeb, used to Echidna being dumb: Sure... Echidna: Your tummy finks all potatees are mashed. Jeb: Okay? Echidna: Lasagna is pasketi flavor cake. Jeb: Echidna: Lobsties are mermie scorpio- Jeb: Jesus, that one is a little- Hank, interested: No, no, Echidna, keep going.

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Echidna: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Dawg: They do. Jeb: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

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Dawg: So. Who bwoke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Sheriff: ...I did. I broke it. Dawg: No. No you didn't. Wyan? Ryan: Don't look at me. Look at Jeb. Jeb: What?! I didn't break it. Ryan: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Jeb: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. Ryan: Suspicious. Jeb: No, it's not! Echidna: If it mabers, prolly not, but Ryb waf de last one da use it. Ryb: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Echidna: Oh really? Then what was you doin' by de coffee cart earlier? Ryb: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Echidna! Sheriff: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Dawg. Dawg: No! Who bwoke it!? Everyone: Echidna: Dawg... Ryan's been awfully quiet. Ryan: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* Dawg, being interviewed: I bwoke it. I buwned my hand so I punched it. Dawg: I pwedict 10 minutes fwom now they'w be at each othew's thwoats with wawpaint on theiw faces and a pig head on a stick. Dawg: Dawg: Good. It was getting a wittwe chummy around here.

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Dawg: Make no mistake. Not onwy am I pawty wocking, but I am awso in the house tonight. Sanford: But are you shuffling? Dawg: Evewyday. Jeb: What language are you two speaking??

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Hank: Met a dumbass today. Awful. Hofnarr: You looked in a mirror? Hank: someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.

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Deimos: How stupid do you think I am?! Jeb: You really want an honest answer to that?

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Sheriff: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. Sheriff: I need my socks.

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Ryan: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Sanford, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Dawg, whispering: Because I have wittwe hands. Sanford: Because she has little hands.

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Hofnarr: This food is too hot... I can't eat it. Jeb: You’re very hot, and I still eat you. Everyone at the table: *silence* Deimos: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING! Sheriff: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

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Echidna, texting: Answer ur phone Ryan, texting back: Wait I cant find my phone Echidna: Understood Echidna, 5 minutes later: Ur a terrible person. U know ur killing me. ur killing me Ryan.

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Jeb: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes... Jeb: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Deimos: ...That took an unexpected turn. Sanford: So did their neck.

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*At a bank teller window* Deimos, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit! Hofnarr: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU! Deimos: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube* Hofnarr: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

[writingsoftheunderworld]

Chocolate

Ship: Damon x Reader

Title: Chocolate

Word Count: 804

Prompt: @imaginesandtea asked me to write her a Reader on her period and Damon being all helpful about it, she suggested bringing choclate and probably warm pads, but this is what it turned out. Hopefully this works? Enjoy!

Y/N's been cranky and craving her weight in chocolate so really, she should have known that her period was fast approaching. It was a no-brainer, chocolate and anger were a quick and certain way to figure that out. And yet, here she was, on the verge of tears in the bathroom with no toiletaries at all. Why did that happen?

'D-Damon? St-Stefan? Anyone home?' she was aware of the tremble of her voice but she didn't really give many shits as she furiously scrubbed the blood that had made it on the floor in small droplets on her run here from her bathroom.

'Y/N? You alright?' Damon's voice was both a blessing and a curse. Sure, they'd been dating for a few weeks now and everything seemed to be going well, but a few weeks truly wasn't code for I fucked up your floors with my stoopid.

'Yeah, it's me. Uhmm... Can you go to the store real, reeal fast for me?' she thought she was being subtle in telling him to vampire run, but apparently not as he instead rushed to her just as quickly.

'Are you- Why am I smelling blood Y/N?' he didn't sound worried, thankfully, but he was also a master at masking his reactions so she couldn't tell if he was or wasn't. She took a deep breath, feeling her cheeks heating up as she tossed another tissue in the toilet, this one had only wiped an already clean floor, as she wrapped the bathrobe righter. Water was all they heard for the few seconds that took Y/N to answer, water from the leaky faucet of the sink, water falling in soft drops down her body from the short shower she took.

'I need you to get me some tampons.' Y/N thought she would be happy if she died right then and there, in a fuzzy bathrobe with flaming cheeks as her dignity collapsed to the floor and was stomped on.

'Sure.' and he was off.

Y/N was stunned stupid for a bit. Damon had just... he just-

'What?'

Her mind could not comprehend how he could be so... unaffected? Wasn't he from the fucking 1800s? Shouldn't he be more, oh, freaked by that?

'Huh.' and really that was all her mind was capable of in that moment as she processed what just occurred. So Damon was at the store, cuz she asked him, to get her tampons, cuz she asked him, and he was totally fine with it. Cool. Cooool. Cool!

Maybe it was the blood drinking?

'Y/N, I'm back, can you open the door?' she jumped, not expecting him back so quick, which in hindsight was pretty dumb since he ran at vamp speed, cuz she asked. She cleared her throat, steeled herself and swung the door open.

'So I didn't know which to buy... I got you these, they ok or do you need me to get you something else?'

God, she really could die right now. He was so normal about it. She really might be in love with him now. She looked at what he'd bought and nodded, really they were all stuff she'd used before. With a mumbled thanks, she saw him leave the bathroom and let her do what she needed. Thank God she'd remembered to bring clothes with her in her mad dash this morning.

As she dressed, she heard Damon banging away at something in the kitchen. She listened, pulling on her socks, and heard the tell-tale sound of the oven being turned on, the soft whrring it made when the fire was lit. Then followed a tray of something or another being pushed in as she was zipping up her pants and tying her hair in a knot. She could never stand feeling it on her neck when she was on her period, sensitve spot and all.

'Damon? What are you-' her words stuck in her throat as the aroma of hot chocolate and baking dough waffed through the air. She was in heaven, that was truly the only answer. 'What is all this?' Y/N asked, still realing with the delicious aroma.

'I figured you needed somethung sweet. Soooo... I got us some hot chocolate and those easy-bake cakes you like.' Damon's tone was flippant, but his eyes betrayed him always as she saw just how unsure he was of what he'd done.

'If I could trust myself to not turn you into a fresh murder scene, I would jump in your arms. This is awesone, sweetheart!' and while she didn't jump, she did go up to him, stood up on her toes abd pulled his head down to kiss him, her tongue chasing the sweet taste of him as she melted agaisnt him much like how the chocholate will feel sliding down her throat, all warm and delicious.

[nyaoi-warrior]

I have skin

Are you willing to share?

[nyaoi-warrior]

I got the first ace attorney trilogy because of you, now I understand 😭😭😭

Took a while to get used to the format, but the characters are so good. Mia is soo hot and Miles is such a uptight little freak, fascinating things are happening

!!!

That makes me so happy! I am glad you are enjoying it. Please do keep me updated if you want bc I am curious.

Edgeworth is personaly one of my favourite characters, in fact he is one of the characters ever. Hard agree on Mia.

[nyaoi-warrior]

Trick or treat!! 🧙‍♀️

Pop rocks for you my friend!

[nyaoi-warrior]

van Helsing hell yeah this is why I follow you the vibes were real

Hahahaha thank you!

It's such a fun film and everyone's so hot in it. I feel like I never shut up about it but bisexual monsterfucker awakening for sure.

[nyaoi-warrior]

gay kiss

Even gayer kiss back ❤️

[nyaoi-warrior]

Get kissed idiot 💖

I am making out with you

[nyaoi-warrior]

Hnuuuuuhrrrrrrggggngbgkfbgnfnfb

Me rn (7 am and I have responsibilities)

[nyaoi-warrior]

For context blue anime boy and his robot dog are from a gay porn game that had a big following on Tumblr, and included A Lot of very fucked up stuff 👉👉

OH IT'S A DOG

Totaly unrelated but gay porn you say? What's the name 👀

[nyaoi-warrior]

what fantasy creature would you like to cook and eat if you could?

Ooooo that's a good one

I think dragon would be a flex and would be interesting to eat. I had crocodile once and it was pretty good so I think it might as well.

Honestly wild but also Manticore. I had 3 separate dnd campaigns where we fought manticores and ate them and tbh I would like to know how it tasted to our guys.

This is such a good question. You got me thinking now about what I want to eat. I am big meat enjoyer so as long as it is not fish I think I would be down to like at least try you know?

[nyaoi-warrior]

Hiii, your ace attorney post are intriguing. Hoow does one start with the series? There's are like bazillion games 😅 And do you need an older ds to play? Or are the games on switch?

OMG!!! I GET TO SHARE THE BRAINROT

There's 6 mainline games and few spinoffs. I reccomend starting with the mainline games. They are originaly DS and 3DS games but all of them have been remastered and packadged into collections and rereleased on steam and switch.

The first three are the Phoenix Wright trilogy and they are the og ones. They are released as one game on steam and switch and include Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Justice for All and Trials and Tribulations (AA1-3) and they just altered my brain chemistry.

Then there's 3 sequels that recently got released in the Apollo Justice trilogy, also packed into neat bundle that includes Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice (AA4-6). I will admit I don't know much about those bc I have just started playing them.

Then there's few spinoffs, the one I am currently playing is The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, which is also bundled rerelase of the two Great Ace Attorney games which are sorta prequel from 19th century which follows Phoenix's ancestor Ryunosuke Naruhodo who I love and adore. I am nearly at the end and they may be my favourite Ace attorney games honestly. But I do reccomend playing those maybe after the first trilogy. Like you don't need to, but there’s cute nods to the older games.

That being said there's currently Capcom Steam sale so if you are thinking about grabbing them on your pc there's: Ace Attorney Tournabout collection, which includes the first trilogy and the chronicles games for like 19 eur which is honestly steal I feel like.

I am SO sorry for rambing so much but the Ace Attorney games have done something to me and they are near and dear to my heart. If you ever feel comfortable to come off anon and maybe shoot me a dm or something I will always be happy to ramble more. I am also terribly sorry for not tagging spoilers and I can start of you want me to.

[nyaoi-warrior]

feel free to talk about your little guys!💖 but also about the fic part. I suck with words so I was always like., I have so many ideas but I can't write the fic that I want because that's just how it is. But after billion years I finally sat down and started one and yeah it's bad and it's frustrating that i cant put the vibes into appropriate words BUT!! It doesn't have to be good! I'm putting my little guy into situations! Don't let your dreams be dreams (or, ig nevermind all this if the reason is time constraints or something lmaoo) ((damn I also just realized that maybe you are a writer but are only experiencing writers block this is embarrassing um whatever take this as an encouragement in some other way anyway hjdfhkdfgk))

Calling myself a writer is a strong word haha but yeah it's more of writer's block situation. I have a guy and list of situations I need to put him in but he just doesn't want to go there. Very rude of him honestly.

Also do not worry this was very sweet and great encouragement. I adore it a lot and will be holding it to my heart.

Anyway guys from my brain time.

So I picked randomly who I feel like talking about and it just so happened to be Moira, because I support women's rights and wrongs.

(Please excuse my very bad picture, this is the only one I have on my phone)

So Moira's an incredibly powerful witch. Her mother made a deal with a demon that she will have a child with him in exchange for becoming the most powerful witch alive, so naturally Moira inherited most of that power. Her mother also left her pretty much as soon as she could, since she was not interested in being a mother. And hey, the kid's 5 now and she can read amd talk, she'll figure it out on her own. And somehow she did.

Moira's father was also not very present, on the account of being a demon. Who is sealed in another realm. But despite that he can use magic or sometimes dreams to communicate with his daughter. She can also summon him to talk. She doesn't, because she in fact does not like him.

Moira's kind of just there. She's very into magic from the young age. As it was kind of the only thing she could do, and it has always felt very natural to her. She's mostly into potion making though. Something about mixing ingredients in a big cauldron is just so much fun. She has especialy very high affinity for all kinds of poisons.

She had to learn it all herself though. And as result she has experimented a lot. Mostly on herself, with later in life finding the joy of just trying new thing on other people. Usually without their permision. As result of her self-experimentation and search for knowledge she has build up near perfect immunity to all known poisons, but also lost a leg, with stories how never quite seeming to match up.

Her pursuit for power is, however, just driven by natural curiousity and her own entertainement. She doesn't care about anyone but herself, but seems to be very good at prettending otherwise. She travels the world and offers her goods and services to those who ask. Never taking money, as she has no use for it, but instead trading for what she needs or making a deal for a simple favour in the future. She's got your best interest in mind, of course. She's your friend after all. You can trust her. Also everything you have been offered in the past 5 minutes has been poisoned. Good luck!

[nyaoi-warrior]

hi I'm not like your mutual (I dont think) but I've been following you for a while and just want to say that I adore that you have tags for posts that you want to show your friends and those tend to be my favorite posts

Heya! I am sorry I think I missed this ask somehow but omg it's so sweet. Thank you! I am very bad at tagging but those are some I always try to tag. Glad you also enjoy them :D

[nyaoi-warrior]

Omg a Czech trigun buddy... Hiii!!! ( I know 2 Czech trigun fans PLEASE don't think I'm weird i gotta say hi)

OMG HI!!!

Nonono I don't think you are weird like absolutely at all. Feel free to hop off anon into my dms (I am actually insane and not normal about it and I love talking about the guys).