#wade and adam and pamela don't get any because i either dislike them or don't remember much

[crimsonscloud]

some steel trap headcanons of varying levels of thought, because me and @roxie-roo are ever so normal about this dumb movie. so normal, in fact, that we made a whole au (party crashers) where robert and melanie live.

also all the last names mentioned in here apart from kathy's aren't canon, the movie doesn't give the others any.

robert hollister

aka the character with the most final guy energy in this entire movie i said what i said

bisexual king

has a younger adoptive sister named blake, @tseliius' oc. they are the siblings ever i love them

was definitely the guy that got paid to write essays for people in high school/college

loves rock music, stuff like american pearl, breaking point, finger eleven, etc.

has a black cat named loki

always has Cold Hands. nobody knows why, including him, they're just like that

dictionary brain. will use big words / legal terms in sentences sometimes for no reason

doesn't want kids with nicole bc he has issues with his dad and doesn't want to risk passing that stuff to them

roxie and i have a crossover ship with him and dani ardor from midsommar. they're so hades and persephone coded (but like. in a good way)

color association: black or dark green

melanie reed

opposite of nicole's "screaming woman" trope. if she's scared she will just Hard Dissociate

platonic besties with robert. he nicknames her mel, she calls him robbie

adhd queen

stims by humming, swaying, and/or pulling and twirling her curls. if she's really stressed sometimes she'll end up pulling her own hair out

weapon she'd take from the box is a pair of scissors (insert until dawn reference)

has scars on her neck from the elevator cables

bubblegum bitch by marina coded

rip girl you would have loved slime. especially the clay texture ones

would wear those little ceramic star bracelets

develops hemophobia after the experience with the bucket

terrified of spiders. robert isn't. hilarity ensues

loves the princess diaries movies

adopts a puppy at some point

also gets a gf :)

color association: pink

nicole palmer

her and robert are Very bleak december coded i said what i said

there is no way things would've been stable if robert married her

needs glasses but hates wearing them, so she has contacts

color association: dark purple probably?

kathy king (aka kay knight)

read carrie in high school once and got a little... fixated.

besides melanie getting blood dumped on her, adam's death is also a reference to this: he's the "pig" that gets slaughtered for the blood, and his corpse wears a crown like tommy does in some adaptations of the prom night

and if i could / i'd bring them all down to their knees / i'd make them sorry forever for teasing

kay+carrie parallels. the writers might not have meant it to be That Deep but i see the vision

made the locked room trap because she thinks robert's selfish / egotistical (the sticks and stones exchange, she also outright calls him an egomaniac later i think?) and wanted to see who between him and wade was more selfish than the other

color association: deep reds for, you know, reasons