#vueling customerservicenightmares complaints reallife

[frustratedwithtimetospare]

In the end there will be nothing but cockroaches, The Rolling Stones and a simmering hate for a little airline called Vueling...

So...a few weeks ago, myself and my girlfriend flew to Italy with Vueling and subsequently death dropped to number two on the list of things I wouldn't wish on anyone ever. If you're bored, feel free to share in my complaint...

SUBJECT: Refund. Compensation. A hug? To: maletas@vueling.com From: keir.pr

Hello there,

I recently had the misfortune of flying with your company. Company being the operative word. Gaggle of inept near-humans pretending to be grown-ups might be closer to the truth.

Firstly, our flight from Gatwick (6205) was delayed by over an hour - with no explanation given. In fact, it wasn't even acknowledged by any of your staff. Obviously, this meant that arrangements made in advance for transit from Florence airport were somewhat ruined. Had I known that this was going to be the best Vueling experience of the trip I would have cherished it and taken more photos of the plane grounded on the runway in order to create some sort of 'Happier Days' montage for us to look back on fondly as we sipped your overpriced (not complimentary stubby cans of warm Estrella on the journey back.

The journey back - well actually, that should be capitalised for dramatic effect. I'm actually thinking of selling my memoirs of the journey to Hollywood. I envisage Steve McQueen or possibly Frank Darabont in the director’s chair (I loved his work on The Green Mile). Obviously, Tom Hanks would be a good call to play me, but I fear he couldn't portray the relevant levels of anger. So I'm gonna plump for Tom Hardy.

Anyway, here goes:

'The Journey Back' - The unbelievable true story of a company crapping on it's customers from every angle with unrelenting fervour.

We arrived at Florence airport at 9am in order to check in a catch our 11:25 flight (BES1PA) to Luton. Granted, the timing might seem a little eager. As it turned out, we could've arrived half a day later and not even bothered packing our luggage - but we'll get on to that in due course. Upon checking our luggage in we were told that the flight was delayed. Our bags could be labeled, but we'd have to just go sit with them somewhere else until midday as Vueling didn't actually have a plane at the moment. Which, I must say is quite impressive for a company that deals predominantly in flying planes. The flight was now scheduled to take off at 14:25.

We were offered vouchers for snacks, but considering airport food has all the nutritional value of 7-day-old road kill we thought better of it. No doubt you may attempt to claim that this 5-euro voucher was adequate compensation for the ordeal ahead and tell us to swivel when we came scurrying back for some sort of explanation and fitting recompense. Currently I'm thinking front row tickets to Hamilton and stay in a top London hotel might suffice - but I'm just planting seeds for you.

Anyway, after bumbling around in the vacuous emotionless hole that is Florence Airport, and smoking 18 cigarettes in an attempt to pass the time and/or kill ourselves, midday trundled around. We went upstairs and put our luggage through. At which point we were offered another voucher as the flight was now delayed until 3:15. No doubt you were gaffer taping wings on to the side the fuselage or something. We did take these ones as y'know, road kill starts to look tasty after a while.

Upon going through security we discovered that the vouchers were no valid in the restaurant/bar. Which was helpful. There was however a shop nearby selling raw pasta, which looked equally appetising as, the cheese slab on slabs that the cafe was offering. So with my own hard earned money, I bought some bow-ties decked out like the Italian flag and gently gnawed away on them as my will to smile gently receded from my mind - it had long since departed my actually face. Replaced now by the vacant stare of a madman considering the rain.

At 14:35 we were invited to head though passport control. First time I've done passport control on that side of a flight before - but I guess Brexit has rightly pissed most people off and so customs and whatnot are just making things as awkward as possible these days.

As we all stood like cattle in the cold arid waiting area, listening as flight after flight departed Florence airport, we notice the time on the departure board for us change to 15:50. How lovely - even more waiting. By this point I had finished my pasta and decided on the perfect gift for my girlfriend for Christmas and she had succeeded in understanding the offside rule and named three animals for every single letter of the alphabet and at least one cheese. Productive no?

15:50 rolled around and the time changed again. 16:10 now. The prisoners started to get restless. One by one people, including ourselves started to approach the desk asking for some information. And one by one they were routinely ignored.

16:10 became 16:15 and then 16:20.

It was like you had decided to start a airline one day and then decided to not to follow the rules. I bet you cheat at Monopoly when you're the banker.

Eventually, we heard that the problem was that the pilot was doing last minute checks to the plane, as there was a wind outside. Which is believable as that is where winds are kept. In honesty it was more like a soft breeze. But I guess gaffer tape doesn't hold that well.

More planes for other destination valiantly ploughed on through the wafting air as their customers beamed joyfully. I wistfully tried to remember how happiness felt. But it made me cry, so I stopped.

Finally at around 16:30 an announcement was made. Note - this was the first announcement. The first one all day. It wasn't even properly rehearsed. Geez!

We managed to decipher that the plane would leave, but not all passengers would be allowed on board. Because of weight issues. I looked around nervously, had anyone seen me polish off a packet of raw pasta?!

Luckily I had booked speedy boarding and allocated seating - so my girlfriend and myself awkwardly shuffled past, under the glaring watch of our once thought comrades.

On a side note - I don't think that speedy boarding should be a thing when a shuttle bus is needed to take you to the plane. All that happens is that you walk on through smugly and then wait on a bus for all the riff-raff to fill it up. And as you're on first, you end up getting off last. I mean there was a woman with a family of five that got on the plane before us. I mean c'mon. She's flying Vueling with 5 kids. There's no way she forked out for priority tickets!

Anyway, once we arrived on the plane there was a further wait of about an hour while the bus went back and picked up another load and the pilot twiddled some of his knobs to the beat of the A-Team theme.

During this time, we learnt that this was an emergency plane. Called in from Barcelona a few hours earlier. Obviously because y'know, you're just simply incompetent at organising a flight in an airport.

Eventually, after falling asleep 12 times and pulling out 7 eyebrow hairs - WE TOOK OFF!

2 hours later and £20 lighter due to onboard nut prices, we arrived in Luton. Hurrah. The pilot acknowledged that the landing was a later than scheduled but that the weather in Luton was a lighter shade of grey. Which was helpful.

We got through customs and waited avidly for hour luggage to pass through the carousel. the Florence flight appeared on the board. Then disappeared. Then appeared. Then disappeared. Questions were asked. Questions weren't answered. And then approximately 80 minutes after the flight had landed, our half full flight was called to baggage security.

'We are sorry, no bags were loaded onto the plane'

?!?!?!?!?!?!

I mean - I'm sorry. But this is the the most insane thing I have ever heard. Not just that we were over 7 hours late. Not only that none of the baggage had been loaded onto the flight. But also that it took your crew 80 minutes to check the hold and relay 'Nope - it's empty' to the relevant people.

Looking back, surely all your staff knew that we were all boarding this flight without our luggage. As they smiled and charged us a small national debt for a drink and near-food they were thinking in the back of their minds 'Boy, these guys are gonna be pissed when they land bruv!' (vernacular dependent)

It's quite frankly astounding to the extent you managed to not get this right.

It is certainly not an experience that I feel you have any right to charge me for.

On top of the lack of communication, the atrocious handling of paying customers, the utter abomination of service and the ridiculousness of the entire process, we had important medication in one of the bags and every single time I tried to call Vueling to explain the urgency of this matter - I WAS HUNG UP ON!!!

Now, as I get breath back, literally, I would like to enquire as to what you will doing for us in order to make up for this cacophony of errors.

Whatever it is, I'd aim high as I am not really in the mood to debate with anyone at your 'company', and if I feel that you are not taking this issue seriously I will have no hesitation taking this matter further than you will really want me to.

I look forward to you reply - once of course you've couriered a computer over from Prague or something.

Yours with a simmering embolism

Keir