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darkdarkmydesire · 7 years ago

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I really hope it wasn't (just an experiment)

Quick note: I've written seven chapters already, but will post them tomorrow, because it's 4:03, I have to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow and I'm half asleep as I type this. Enjoy, I look forward to your feedback.

Chapter 1:

Alec sat in AP Calculus on a Friday morning, trying to look like he was paying attention. It wasn't that he was bored, he just knew this particular material. Fine, he may be slightly bored, seeing as he'd had free time last night and decided to work ahead. So sue him, he was an inexorable nerd who genuinely enjoyed the absorption of knowledge. Although, it wasn't like he had the time to absorb said knowledge, in between work and managing living expenses and keeping Izzy and Jace out of trouble and spending time with Max. Ever since Alec had been kicked out of the house he had spent his childhood in, spent his time growing, crafting, building himself up to be the type of person he would not regret to see in the mirror, free time had become the distant call of a bird that had long since succumbed to extinction. Alec always had to be prepared for potential disasters, because being the oldest Lightwood sibling was no easy feat. Perhaps the obsessive need to be perpetually prepared had something to do with the "extenuating circumstances" of his swift departure from the Lightwood household, but regardless of origin the compulsion to plan had now taken up permenant residence in Alec's character. Usually he didn't mind it too much,albeit once in a while, he wished he didn't have one worry, or another perpetually lurking in the crevices of his mind.

Letting out a sigh, he tilted his face towards the window, allowing the dappled sunlight dance on his lashes. It gave the world a calming crimson hue. Alec loosened his shoulders allowing his mind to rest, slightly shivering in pleasure, as the breeze kissed his skin, bringing in the scent of fresh grass, balmy woods and a musk that was unique to summer.

Distantly, he heard the pause in Mr Beamers lecture and the murmur of conversation. Really, he knew he should open his eyes before he got caught shirking his obligation towards his intellectual pursuits, but the sun coaxed him to stay. Promising him wonders and the means of temporary escape. It was only due to the sun Alec continued to linger. It had everything to do with the G2V type star and nothing to do with Alec's choice in the matter. None at all.

"... Magnus Bane, I recognise a few friendly faces and would love to get even friendlier with some.", purred a silky voice.

Alec's eyes snapped open, fixating on the gorgeous man at the front of the class, but his brain kept repeating the same phrase "Magnus Bane". Alec continued to stare - none too subtly. Magnus had been Alec's boyfriend once upon a time and his best friend even before that. Of course that had been before he left for a fashion and design scholarship, though, now here he was, on the metaphorical doorstep of Alec's house, in Alec's college. However, thinking of the situation logically, Alec relented Magnus probably had had little choice in the matter. Wyoming only had one college. Magnus and Alec has been estranged for a lengthy period of time and his inexplicable,unforseen presence shook Alec, perhaps more than it should have. He thought of the years of silence that lay littered on the classroom floor between them, but perhaps it was only him who felt the shadow of their jagged edges. Alec had no idea where they stood now, if they even stood anywhere, or if Magnus would continue to spill the powdered glass that had become the silence, which encompassed their non - friendship in the preceding years at Alec's feet Even if Magnus couldn't have been standing more than a few metres away, Alec felt the distant to be insurmountable.

Being the self destructive imbecile he was, Alec finally allowed himself to really observe Magnus. Everything Magnus wore screamed do me. From his figure hugging, black jeans, to his silky sapphire button up, that was only buttoned up from the forth button down, revealing a tantalising triangle of toned, caramel chest and completely defeating the purpose of a button up. His lids were outlined with kohl, making amber eyes burn with an adroit intensity. Respectively, he supported blue highlights, contrasting his ebony hair. Even his silver studs and numerous rings became constituent to his allure: sleek and elegant. The twine bracelets curling around Magnus's wrists sparked interest in the knowledge enthralled sect of Alec's brain. They were embedded with various stones: amethyst, sapphire, fire opal and Alec couldn't place the name of most, let alone distinguish if they were real. The rocks should have stood incongruous, but instead radiated an exotic, new age feel.

Magnus himself had grown well: tall frame and defined muscle. Both arranged in a confident and loose manner, leading to the highlighting of certain slopes and ridges - much to the benefaction of his current observer. Alec's eyes jerked up, as he relinquished he had been ogling at Magnus longer than strictly polite. Only to face with none other than an amusedly smirking Magnus. Even his lips looked full and soft, perfect for biting. He was staring again. Not meeting Magnus's eyes, Alec quickly shifted his gaze away. Meanwhile, Mr. Beamer had reached the last stop in his welcoming speech and ushered Magnys to inhibit a vacant seat.

Praying Magnus didn't notice the heat crawling up his neck, Alec began burning holes in his notebook, trying and failing to maintain an air of nonchalance. Especially, as he felt a certain anthropoid drop down in the seat next to him. Especially, as agonising minutes passed and said anthropoid leaned closer, breathing in Alec's ear.

"Hey.", Magnus whispered chasing a shiver down Alec's spine, exuberance present in his tenor.

Swallowing his surprise, Alec lifted his head, "Um, hi.", he answered stiffly, running through scenarios of possible pitfalls, which would inevitably be caused due to Magnus's close proximity. Alec wasn't being standoffish, he was only trying to compensate for the impending destruction he was about to cause, after all how does one speak to a friend who had ignored your calls many months prior? There really should be a textbook for social communication, with formulas and contingency plans in place, in case of a dire need to "abort mission", such as Alec's brain was screaming now. There was the multiple presence of flashing red lights and a blaring siren too.>

Magnus on the other hand was amused, if not calm, ignorant of the evacuation of all common sense currently taking place in Alec's cortex. Mindlessly, all Alec could concern himself with was that Magnus was even more breathtaking up close, Alec could see each individual lash framing his eyes. They were exceeding average length. Leaning an elbow against Alec's chair, his eyes twinkled with easy laughter, this close Alec could smell him: sandalwood and citrus.

"Is this seat taken?", he asked.

Snapping out of his daze, Alec started. Jesus this was mortifying.

"Aren't you supposed to clarify that before sitting down?", he replied raising an eyebrow in question, immensely grateful to whichever divine source of matter held such turbulences in account, that his voice came out steady.

"So he speaks. I assumed staring was the epitome if your communicative devices.", Magnus countered not missing a beat, " Which was thoroughly disappointing seeing as you didn't run up and bestow me in sweet nothings. You see, Alexander, I was hoping we could get to know each other as well as before.".

Alec's heartbeat tripled, intending to follow the example if his common sense. What did that mean? He wanted to be friends again? More than friends? It wasn't like Alec to still carry a torch, he was an adult, nineteen years of age. But Alec's occipital lobe was in immaculate function, gracing Alec with the ability to appreciate the aesthetic appeal of Magnus Bane. Sweeping up the web of queries Alec had managed to weave in the duration of these miniscule seconds, he twisted his intangible broom and flung it out of the trapdoors of his mind. If that's how Magnus wanted to play, Alec would gladly follow the rules.

Lowering his voice, Alec wet his lips, "Yeah?, can't wait.", his eyes encaptured Magnus's, as Alec observed them darken, flicking to his lips and back, "To get to know each other, that is.".

Magnus's eyes flared with challenge and surprise, but as his lips parted and images of Magnus in another setting with a similar expression assaulted Alec's mind, Mr Beamers interrupted. Alec couldn't tell if he was disappointed.

" Mr. Lightwood, Mr. Bane, is the conversation you're having more important than you're ticket to a successful future? ", queried Mr. Beamer, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

Alec straightened hastily, " No Sir, we apologize, it won't happen again.", he reassured, letting nothing but the polished exterior of a model student, eager to please his superior shine through. Alec wouldn't let his pristine reputation be tarnished, thus intending to compensate for his slip up, Alec tuned back into the lesson, in spite of it's tedious content. Although, Alec didn't miss the scarcely disguised uttering of Magnus : " Ticket to a successful future.", he muttered, voice laced with a mocking edge. Hiding the smile threatening to encapsulate his features, Alec faced the front of the class, inclining against his chair. And if through unadulterated coincidence, Magnus's arm happened to be draped around it, he didn't notice. Much.

-------------------------------+

The rest of the morning proceeded without incident and by lunch Alec was starving. He quickly shuffled through the line, grabbing his food and made his way to the table he usually sat at. Unsurprisingly, Magnus was already there. Sitting with Izzy on his right and Clary on his left, her unruly ginger hair obscuring a scowling Jace from Magnus's view. Chuckling to himself Alec made his way to sit opposite them, stowing himself next to a frantic Simon, who was busy explaining the difference between a pure bred volcun and a half volcun to a very irritated looking Raphael. Jace was probably antagonised by the admiring glances Clary kept showering Magnus with, he was hopeless. Jace was not even keeping up the illusion that the obvious thunder rumbling across his face was the cause of an unrelated incident. Hostility pooled in his every gesture, dripping steadily down in the form of lexis, which had been thoroughly submerged in an ocean rotting citrus. As he sat down, Alec got no more then vague acknowledgements from the group, which he deemed acceptable, as even he had been ensnared in the effervescence that was Magnus Bane. Even Raphael and Simon kept their attention on him, despite professing to be intrigued in the contents of another discussion. It was just as well, Alec had a unit test in three days, any extra time for preparation was welcome.

He had just gotten into the rhythm of spooning his food without peeling his gaze off the textbook, while also managing not to upturn his only source of sustenance on the floor, when he realised the clamoring chatter at his table had fallen away. Looking up, Alec realised he had come under the laser focus of six pairs of eyes.

" Sorry, I didn't catch that. ", he inquired absently, reluctantly wrenching his stare from the equations that made up standard deviation.

Jace was the one to speak: " Simon asked if Magnus and you were a thing." , he deadpanned, unimpressed. Frowning, Alec waded through the arithmetics buoyant in his senses. Surely Magnus could answer that.

Mirroring Jace, Alec furrowed his eyebrows, "Yeah, when were 15. It went on for almost a year. Why?", he asked unimpressed at the extent of prying currently taking place.

" Just curious.", Simon quipped, " Though that is a long time. Were you guys serious?".

Before Alec could reply to the clearly inquisitive question, Magnus smoothly cut in, " No, just except experimenting.", he intoned with a wave of his hand. "We were 15, how serious could we have been?", he remarked coolly.

At his words Alec's frown deepened. Magnus's words struck a cord of pain in his chest. It shouldn't have hurt, their relationship was over years ago, but Magnus's vague dismissal of their proximity, was too close to his parents reaction when he had finally come out. It held the same cold, callousness his mother had held, when she declared Alec's confession to be a "fleeting phase, unbecoming, however still a phase". Granted they had been young, but Alec had never been confused about what he yearned for, petrified of his parents wrath, terror stricken at the antagonisation he was to endure at the prospect of living unashamed of who he was. Alec had been each one of those things, albeit indecision was never one.

" 9 months is a long time for experimenting.", seethed Jace slashing down Alec's tumultuous thoughts, arms folded, posture tense. He looked ready to jump out of his seat.

The words caused Magnus's eyebrows to shoot up, "How would you know?", he intoned, voice carrying a mixture of confusion and suspicion. What exactly Magnus was suspicious about, Alec had little clue.

" I'm Alec's best friend, why wouldn't I know?", he said, " Or, have you forgotten how friendships work?", he accused, alluding to the numerous unanswered texts Alec had left in the wake of Magnus's departure.

Jace was now trembling slightly, with barely contained rage, no doubt remembering how he had found Alec shivering in the alley - hungry and alone.

"Oh?", Magnus remarked unfazed, "Is that right?", an edge in his voice despite the taunting smirk he had plastered there.

Taking in Jace's clenched jaw and monochromatic eyes that blazed blatant hostility he saw reflected on Magnus, Alec made to diffuse the situation. He had no need of reliving, or even sharing that part of his life with anyone. All the people encompassing the table, were ones he he trusted, but Alec couldn't see the need to offer his menial sob story on an undignified platter. He was in no mood to open that can of worms, especially as Izzy glanced at Alec, face set in worry. As if Alec would burst into tears right this second, crying about his daddy issues.

Rolling his eyes, he flicked a fry at Jace, " Chill out, no need to go alpha male. Clary will still like you even if you're not the last man pissing.", he claimed, dissimulating the real reason for Jace's anger. Fooling no one, but managing to successfully cut through the tense atmosphere, Alec earned himself various noises of disgust.

Satisfied Alec's eyes drifted back to Magnus. Although Magnus was far from subdued, expression still containing a shadow of a taunt, daring Jace to lead the conversation back to the impending car crash it was to be. The glare Alec through in his direction resulted in nothing, but an innocent shrug. Shaking his head Alec decided to resumed his revision, unsuccessfully. Magnus's words kept ricocheting in his brain. Did Magnus mean what he said? Had that been nothing more than an experiment? Had Alec misread the situation for nine months? It certainly hadn't been an experiment for Alec, it was by no means the first relationship he had had. However, it had been the only one that had induced annoyance in him, at his own foolishness. Back then Alec had been willing to risk and perhaps accept his parent's inevitable anger and he had. He had done just that. In hindsight, after this revelation, he still wouldnt have changed his decision, although knowing Magmus saw that small infinity they had carved out of laughter, passion and pain as nothing but an experiment, made Alec feel churlish and childish. Like a fledgling, who had mistaken companionship for love. It did not sit well with Alec's conscious, however Alec decided the incident was of no consequence. It wasn't like it had mattered when he told his parents, or like it mattered now. He was over it, over Magnus, over them. The allure he felt towards Magnus now, was purely physical.

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